(neon buzzing)
-(line straining) -(grunting)
-Huh? -Hello.
(screams)
(theme song playing)
* Supervillain, ahead of his time *
* Incredibly handsome genius, criminal mastermind *
* But now he's all cleaned up and fighting crime *
* A superhero that you stream online *
* It's Megamind *
* Oh, it feels good to be good this time *
* It's Megamind *
* Oh, it's Megamind *
* Rules! *
**
Megamind: You've met your match, evildoer.
For I, Megamind,
am the hero of Metrocity!
And you will feel my...
steely justice with the force of a...
an angry llama! (frustrated sigh)
Ol' Chum: Oh, nonsense. I think you're improving, sir!
That's way better than attacking their mothers personally!
(sighs) I'm clueless, Chum!
Now that I'm a hero, I want to inspire the people
the way Metro Man did!
Being a villain and stoking fear is a breeze,
but how do I conjure awe and eyes-agogginess?
-Do I need to exercise?
-What about flossing? -(computer beeping)
Sir, robbery in progress at Everything City!
Ha-ha! Move over, bad breath and sensitive gums!
There's crime to be stopped!
**
Let's go! Hurry it up!
This isn't Some Of It City.
-Fork over everything! -(whirring, blast)
Villain, beware! For I am the white knight of--
Dude Monkey: Bananalamadingdong!
Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Woo! Yeah!
Hey, Dude Monkerinos!
Your happy hometown Dude Monkey here.
Shall we schtop another crime?
What is that thing?
-Hyah! -What?!
-(Dude Monkey grunting) -(robber yelling)
Let's can this tuna fish!
-(robber groaning) -Oh, my!
Did I do it again? I schtopped a crime!
-Say, Bananalamadingdong! -(shutter snaps)
Post that on your sosh
and you'll get beaucoup engagements!
-Thanks! -What? Megamind?
Oh, must have beat him to the scene.
Sorry, Mr. Atric.
Hey, can I call you Geri? (laughs)
JK, bro! I'm Dude Monkey!
Say 'sup to my Dude Monkerinos!
-'Sup? -Remember to like and subscribe
if you think the city needs a fresher fighter
than this horse-and-buggy bagpipe head! (laughs)
Bananalamadingdong!
What in Hades' hamper just happened?
What just happened was awesome!
You've been a hero just a short time,
and already, you're influencing strangely charismatic youngsters
to defend the city!
Perhaps I'm more inspiring than I thought.
As mayor, I don't have actual control
over the sun.
Yes, well, I have a lot on my plate today,
but I promise to absolutely look into it, Senator.
-(zapping) -Huh?
(gasps, grunts)
-Ollo-- Ow! -(smack)
Whoa! (grunts)
My brilliant blue noggin!
You know, you're not a villain anymore.
You can use the front door.
But a monitor? Really, Roxanne?
(sighs) Sorry. Muscle memory. I'm a little on edge.
Just found out the Doom Syndicate escaped from prison.
They escaped already?
I must say, the former villain part of me is proud.
But the hero part of me is incredibly frustrated
-with our prison system! -(phone dings)
You'd think they'd lay low, but I guess Nighty-Knight
couldn't resist Taquito Tuesday at Dos Muchachos Picante.
Can't blame him. Their tacos are delightful,
but if he pops his Halloween head up again,
I have just the treat for his tricks!
Hey, can I ask another favor?
Ma'am, do not offer Megamind the aquarium gig!
Well, well, if it isn't Christina Christo,
the Secretary of Party Pooping.
It's Chief of Staff, actually.
My job is to make sure Roxanne can get reelected.
Something you don't seem to care about.
(both grunting)
What's this gig she doesn't want me to have?
So they're having a grand re-opening of the aquarium
and want me to make an appearance?
To warn baddies against another attempt
at the diamond-encrusted koi fish, no doubt.
It says "hero," not live-action blueberry.
-Ha! -Gimme that!
I'm looking for ways
to be more inspirational,
and nothing inspires citizenry like a bombastic speech
-at a relaxing, fish-filled-- -(yelps)
-Ah! -Got it! Ma'am,
he's the one who destroyed the aquarium in the first place.
If you want to save a fish, you gotta break a few aquariums.
-(laughs) -That's mine!
-Give it to me! -Megamind: Gimme!
Great. You both owe a tree an apology.
Christina, we've got to use Megamind.
He's Metro City's best and only hero.
Not anymore. There is a new hero in town,
and his name is Dude Monkey.
The petty crime stopper who was totally inspired by moi?
Why hire a second-rate wannabe
when you can have a first-rate is-a-be?
Roxanne: He makes a good point. Christina,
send word to the aquarium board that I'm recommending Megamind.
(groans) Fine.
Nee-nuh nee-nuh nee-nuh!
-(both struggle) -Roxanne: Kids,
no ice cream unless you stop fighting.
Both: I will when you admit I'm the favorite.
Jinx. Double jinx. Triple jinx!
Enough! Go play outside. Mama's gotta work.
-What about that icèd cream you promised? -(sighs)
-Megamind: Wanna look my best for the aquarium gig. -(hard rock music playing)
Time to get my blue bod ripped
with some hardcore physical fitness. (grunts)
(straining)
Chum! A little help! (groans)
(whirring)
Faster, Chum. I wanna feel that burn.
You got a big problem, Double M.
I know. Chum is horrifically out of shape.
Your problem is Dude Monkey.
Shall we schtop another crime?
-Ooh! A video! Can I watch? -(struggling, yells)
That chimp chump is no threat. He looks up to me.
He's proof that my aim to inspire Metrocity is working.
Good luck inspiring people when this guy's trolling you.
(laughs) What's with this troll business?
They've been extinct for decades.
Trolling means he's trying to humiliate you online.
-(techno music playing) -Sorry, Mr. Atric.
Hey, can I call you Geri? (laughs)
JK, bro!
Geriatric means old.
We don't want this guy to take your place
as defender of Metro City by defining you as out of touch.
This video has a quarter million views!
It must have aired on the 6 o'clock news.
(laughs)
Oh, you're serious?
Uh, I-I'm actually gonna ask this.
Have you ever heard of the internet?
Yes, I've heard of the "onternet."
I'm just not onterested.
It's a passing fad, like fidget spinners or paying your taxes.
Okay, well, in that case,
welcome to the Information Age.
-You're about 30 years late. -(beeping, whirring)
This is a television.
-True! -Wasn't a question.
But was I right? Can I get a point?
-Sure. -One to zip.
Back in the age when people used to live in caves,
this is how they'd get their news.
True! Ha-ha, all tied up.
But the internet connects to every computer on the planet.
-You guys know that, right? -No, we do not.
But I do know I'm right about us not knowing,
so another point for Chum.
Keiko: Not something to be proud of.
So, with the Internet and social media,
you can put out a story and send it anywhere
and to everyone instantly!
They call this going viral.
I went viral on Metrocity once.
Gave everyone dance fever.
I should get 10 retroactive points for that, honestly.
-Fine. (sighs) -What, does that mean I win?
Sure. You're the grand champion
of learning about the internet way too late!
-Yes! -No!
Now, listen. Dude Monkey is engaging
in a social media showdown that you're losing by not showing up!
He's telling a huge-gantic audience
that you're a ding-dong so he can steal all your fans!
-That settles it, Keiko. -(determined music playing)
Make me virulent on the onternet.
(Chum laughs)
I'm looking at this internet thing,
and it's hilarious! Look!
This cartoon baby is dancing just like a grown-up! (laughing)
That meme is older than my teacher,
and she knits.
(awkward): Ollo, fans. I am here,
talking into the camera
as if I were talking to you in person.
Thanks to the magic of the onternet.
Maybe need a catchphrase. Something like,
"Villains are red, heroes are blue.
Stop robbing that bank, or feel my kung fu!"
Or, you know, I'll think of something later.
Sir! Have you seen this unusual fellow
-who sings about rain made of-- -Chum!
(both grunt)
-(groans) -Okay, Chum, you gotta stop watching
old Internet stuff while we're filming.
And Megamind, be more natural, dude.
You're moving your arms like a floppy inflatable
-at a used car lot. -Keiko,
I'm unfamiliar with the glare of a lens.
I'm more of a live performance guy.
You know, theater! Treading the boards!
Well, I'm certainly bored,
but this is for a web channel, not Shakespeare in the Park.
-Just move your arms normal. -So, more like...
Hello, my biggest fans! Megamind here.
Perfect! We'll go with that. Roll camera.
(awkward): Hello, my biggest fans!
Your little fannies
will shake as you worship the splendor that is--
Keiko: You're doing the arm thing again and saying weird stuff.
(normal): Ugh! I don't know what you want from me, Keiko!
Actually, maybe just do something heroic.
Heroic opportunities don't just walk out into the street and--
-(gasps) -(car honking)
**
Or sometimes they do.
-(honking) -(grunts)
(whirring, zap)
(screaming)
DeGravity should do.
-(laughs) -(zap)
(yelling, groaning)
Ha-ha! Um, citizen?
What are you watching that had you so distracted?
Dude Monkey.
-Whoa! You watchin' my vids, bud? -What the?!
Oh, wow! It's really Dude Monkey!
You're such an inspiration. Can I get a selfie?
How about a self-photograph with the hero who,
-you know, saved your life? -Nah, I'm good.
-Say, "Megamind's cheugy!" -(shutter snaps)
Say, "Megamind's cheugy!"
Keiko: I'll just edit that stuff out.
-(typing) -We will beat Dude Monkey
to an onternet pulp with this video, right?
This rescue was awesome!
Once people see this, they're gonna be all, "Who-Monkey"?
-We're just gonna upload and wait. -(ding)
Ooh! I got a view!
-That was from you watching it. -(grumbles)
Be patient. Your fans will find you
I gotta head home. My mom's super strict
-about my 9 p.m. curfew. -(ding)
-Another view! -Keiko: Also from you!
Oh...
**
-Come on, come on... -(ding)
-A new meme! -Ah! How many views?
Oh. False alarm.
It's just an old one with new words.
Only 100 views?
Why haven't I become a virus yet?
I know it hasn't exploded overnight,
but you need to be patient.
We need to build something unique to you.
The video where that monkey man does the troll to me.
-How many does that have? -A couple more.
-(typing) -Yeah, a million more.
It's as if I don't exist!
I'm far from inspirational. I've become...
unpopular.
-Your fans will find you. We just need-- -Thank you, Keiko,
but I know how to handle this.
Chum, we've got a "Class Me" emergency.
The only thing that will get me out of this spiral
is a whiz-bang appearance at a fish museum!
The kids will love it!
Yeah, my heart's racing already.
You know, I have some great ideas for this aquarium gig.
-Hyah! Woo! -Ow!
Really wanna see your face when she tells you this.
Go ahead, ma'am.
The aquarium board is...
made up of people with terrible taste
who are kind of leaning toward Dude Monkey.
No! Any dude or any monkey,
but not him!
You gotta see his latest, though!
Dude Monkey: Dude Monkey stops crime with a meat-sicle!
(upbeat music playing)
Hey! My wallet!
'Sup, Dude Monkerinos!
Pretty much gonna declare myself Metro City's greatest hero.
Crime is poppin', but Megamind
(elderly voice) is a-prune juice shoppin'!
-(smack) -(thief grunts)
-Thanks, Dude Monkey! -I schtopped a crime!
Hey, quick, shout out to my primo sponsor,
Mr. Minion's Meat-sicles,
the official meat-sicle of Dude Monkey.
Yumalamadingdong!
I can't believe he has a sponsor!
-Why don't I have a sponsor? -You got me.
I think a wart removal cream would be blessed to have you.
Hilarious, Christina.
Hey, that guy is charismatic,
but he's no Megamind.
I'll keep fighting for you.
I'll make it easy. If Dude Monkey's catching fire,
I'm gonna become a crime-stopping megaton bomb!
That's a metaphor for having an engaging web channel,
not a threat.
Ma'am, they've spotted Nighty-Knight!
That aquarium board will change their mind
when I bring Nighty-Knight to justice
and knock Dude Monkey's web channel
on its weird monkey butt!
I've been studying what makes Dude Monkey so popular.
If this is the hero Metrocity wants me to be,
then so shall I be it!
-(hip-hop music playing) -Hey, radical duderoos.
Megamind here. Crimes a-poppin'!
-Dang. -Help! Help!
Scope that! Crime much, am I right?
You'll L-O-L as I trick-shot these handcuffs
right on Nighty-Knight's wrists.
-(laughing) -Hey! That's my fishbowl!
-Hm. -Oh, I think you just missed his wrist, sir.
By which I mean entirely.
-(static) -(laughing)
-We gonna let him steal meat-sicle carts? -(rock music playing)
Nah. Crime stopping rocks!
(grunts)
-(thuds) -Ow!
-Crime-a-Doodle-Don't! -(static)
(cowboy voice) Hizzle, cowpokes.
Just call me Dead-Eye Blue
because when I take my shot at baddies,
I never miss.
Backslash rad!
-(alarm blaring) -Guard: He's got the blueprints!
**
Ha-ha! Well, howdy, Nighty-Knight!
-Ah! -Ah! Chum!
-(beep, alarm stops) -(Chum laughs)
It's like all-new memes,
but with that special homemade flavor!
Keiko! I demand you burn all copies.
I should come off as inspirational,
not as some bumbling buffoon.
Come on! It's funny stuff!
Your fans are gonna see this
and mash that subscribe button so hard,
you could serve it with gravy.
(sighs) Keiko, I'm repositioning you.
I'll be taking over advising myself,
and you'll organize my jazz albums.
But you don't have any jazz albums, sir.
Then this should be easy for her.
But you don't even know how to post or log on or stream!
-Jazz albums! -(growls)
Imagine her telling me I don't know what I'm doing.
Now, to get rid of these videos.
-Gonna upload them right into the trash. -(click, beep)
Hasta la vista, videos!
Sir, I think you may need to see this.
Dude Monkey (on video): Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, Dude Monkerinos!
Just got a call from the mayor's office.
I've been requested to appear at the grand reopening
of the aquarium!
And you know what?
I beat Megamind for the gig!
Now I'm gonna dance all over this picture of Megamind
until a-millio eyeballs are on this stream!
Bananalamadingdong! (rhythmic grunting)
(hip-hop music playing)
He's still dancing after two hours.
Incredible.
I need a 30-minute nap after eating three chicken wings.
-Well, well, well. -(yelps)
On my way to the hospital.
My back is lousy with stab wounds.
I'm truly sorry about the Dude Monkey thing.
It was out of my hands.
What fun is having my friend as mayor
if I don't get everything I want?
I was elected to be the mayor of the city,
not just my friends.
And the city wants Dude Monkey,
which I agree is dumb. (weak laugh)
Dumb-ocracy. Am I right?
You can't unspoil my sour mood with mayoral dad jokes, Roxie.
-Christina: Mm! Mm! -(hip-hop music playing)
Hey, come on!
(full mouth) Bananalamadingdong.
I possess super intelligence,
otherworldly handsomeness, and selfless humility.
Yet, I am felled by a bananalamadingdong.
You uploaded your blooper reel?
I hope the answer is no.
The answer is yes.
It is up, and it is huger than a luger!
You're getting Dude Monkey numbers
and netting more subs every second.
Ow! Crime-a-Doodle-Don't!
Oh, terrific.
The whole city must be laughing at me.
Just look at the comments.
Little Terry Sasko says,
"I love that Megamind messes up just like me.
In a weird way, that's inspiring."
Inspiring? Well, that's what I want,
but this feels like what I don't want.
This is what your channel needs.
Everyone wants to be a hero.
So when a hero makes a mistake,
that's fun to see because everyone makes mistakes.
If you wanna inspire your fans,
we need to show them everything, warts and all.
Maybe you're right.
And perhaps I was a little harsh on you earlier.
You think?
I'm promoting you back to your previous position
as my adviser of all things onternetty.
Do I get a raise?
-I wasn't paying you before. -I had to try.
You know, I find it a little fishy
that Nighty-Knight would want to steal a-- Wait a second!
-(Nighty-Knight laughing) -Nighty-Knight!
Oh, I'm a fool for not seeing this earlier.
I was so focused on being onternet cool,
I let him slip through my fingers!
We have to stop him!
But it's impossible to know where he'll strike next.
No, it's not, Chum.
Nighty-Knight is making a play
for the diamond koi fish.
Sir, don't you think you're jumping to conclusions?
No! Keiko, bring up my bloopers.
-(laughing) -Hey! That's my fishbowl!
Pause it! He's stealing a fishbowl!
Perhaps he wants an unconventional candy dish.
Keiko, run it.
Backslash rad!
-Pause! -(beep)
Now, zoom in! There!
The blueprints for the aquarium!
Please. Who doesn't have those?
Megamind: He's going to sneak himself in inside a meat-sicle cart!
Maybe we should focus on what Nighty-Knight is actually up to.
-Keiko, enhance audio. -(click)
Nighty-Knight: My darkly dark plan to steal
the diamond-encrusted koi during the reopening ceremony
will be a... drowning success.
(maniacal laughter)
Okay, I'm convinced. The "muahaha" did it for me.
To the aquarium!
(hip-hop music playing)
(crowd cheering)
Alright now! Now the D-Monk's
gonna upchuck some smarts all over you Monkerinos!
(clears throat)
(awkward) Aquariums are like superheroes.
They both are things people like to look at,
and also both things that make people happy, too.
-(phone buzzes) -Please give me good news.
Like, a meteor is heading this way,
so I don't have to listen to this speech.
Nighty-Knight's coming for the koi fish!
If you see a meat-sicle cart, clear it out.
Dude Monkey: ...lungs like humans do. They have gills.
(gasps) We need to clear out all meat-sicle carts.
Security. We need help clearing out the meat-sicle carts.
**
Hey! (yelps)
(screams)
Eternal doom awaits all who come between Nighty-Knight
and his fishy bowl of... doom!
-(crowd screaming) -(Nighty-Knight laughs evilly)
Let's schtop a crime!
**
Dude, awesome costume!
Alright, let's do this just like we practiced.
Some light sparring, and then I totally crush you. Ready?
(grunting, yelling)
You dare talk confusingly
to the Duke of Darkness?
-(grunts) -Whoa, whoa, whoa, Brad!
We so do not have the budget for this!
Wait. You're not Brad.
You're really Nighty-Knight! (screams)
-(grunts) -(glass squeaks)
Crowd: Run! It's Nighty-Knight!
-(explosion) -Hey, guys.
Welcome to "Megamind's Rules For Defending Your City!"
How do you like that title, Keiko? Is it onternetty?
So onternetty. I think you're starting to get this.
By the way, where is Dude Monkey in this moment of need?
Bad Guy Brad: Oh...
Here you are, dude!
Dude, you were supposed to stage the heist
like we rehearsed!
I don't know how to stop real criminals!
Dude, you just got ousted as a fraud.
(beep)
Dude!
I had a feeling Dude Monkey was a phony.
I assure all you former Monkerinos,
as Metro City's defender, I will never lie to you.
-Yoo-hoo! Wannabe spooky dude! -Nighty-Knight: Megamind!
Your pathetic attempts to foil my--
-(zapping) -Wha...
(clicking)
(zap, crackling)
-(yelps) -(bowl thuds)
-Pretty chill, homeboy. -(static)
-(crowd cheering) -Thank you. Thank you.
Oh, please, no! You're too much.
-But it is fitting. -(hissing)
**
I appreciate the applause,
but I also really need you to like and subscribe!
Sir! I made my own meme!
-Pretty chill, homeboy. -(beep)
Ol' Chum: I think you've gone viral, sir!
I look positively infectious!
Guard: Megamind!
Someone just stole a genetically altered starfish from the lab!
A what?
**
(hissing)
My quest was darkly bountiful,
most vile one.
(whirring)
The starfish.
Able to regenerate its body if it loses a limb.
This holds the genetic key that will allow me
to rise to power once again!
Soon, I will remind Megamind
how good it feels to be bad!
(laughing)
**