(neon buzzing)
-(line straining) -(grunting)
-Huh? -Hello.
(screams)
(theme song playing)
* Supervillain, ahead of his time *
* Incredibly handsome genius, criminal mastermind *
* But now he's all cleaned up and fighting crime *
* A superhero that you stream online *
* It's Megamind *
* Oh, it feels good to be good this time *
* It's Megamind *
* Oh, it's Megamind *
* Rules! *
**
Roxanne: Yes, I am aware of the damage,
and we're working on it.
Were you aware that we're giving away a free coffee
to anyone inconvenienced by a Megamind battle?
-Let me in, Christina! -Oh, no, no, no!
We have a very strict no nuisance policy!
(musical beeping) According to my nuisance detector,
you're actually the nuisance,
and your readings are off the charts!
-You let me go! -(sighs) Congratulations, guys.
You're both nuisances! Let him in.
I-- Ah!
You did that on purpose.
She's crazy busy dealing with the people
mad at the damage you caused playing hero out there,
so make this quick.
Ah-chnoo-sance!
(scoffs) That was not a real sneeze.
Roxie, I have some tech that will help us
keep Metrocity safer than a baby in bubble wrap.
I'm happy you're excited about your invention,
but I'm slammed today.
I swear, I don't think I could handle just one more thing.
-(news music playing) -Lady Doppler (on computer): Attention!
This is an evil weather alert!
Good morning, Metro City!
-Ooh! Lady Doppler-- -Shh!
I have a forecast for today.
Dark and stormy over the mayor's office.
The map says sunshine.
She always was terrible at weather.
And for Roxanne Ritchi,
the tattletale former reporter
who got me fired all those years ago,
-100% chance of revenge! -(zapping, fizzling)
She's good.
Hey, just because I'm a hero doesn't mean
I've lost my appreciation for quality treachery.
She shot lightning at me! And, yes, I did get her fired.
But now, I have to arrange a bodyguard,
cancel public appearances, probably build a bunker.
There, there. Relax your boo-tay on that ergonomic chair, Roxie.
Stopping baddies is my bag. Fear not!
It's easy for you to say, "Fear not."
You're walking around all safe with a pew-pew ray gun.
It's more of a chicka-pow ray gun.
But, my wits protect this city more than my weapon.
Which brings me to the purpose of my visit.
-My new gadget. -(whirring)
-(mysterious music playing) -(zapping)
Ow!
(zap)
(grunts) Huh? What the?
I look... like... you.
(blinking)
-Why do you look like me? -Switcheroo microchips!
The hottest new crime-stopping tech from yours truly.
(gasps) And sound like me. I-I sound like you!
It's a twist on the disguise generator.
Explain any scenario in which this would be useful.
It's... great for a good bamboozlement.
Can't you just turn it off?!
It's more of a wear-off thing.
How long does it last?
-A few days, tops. -Days?!
I'm the mayor! I have people waiting to see me now.
Don't be such a nervous Nadine.
How hard is it being mayor of Metrocity?
First, it's pronounced Metro City.
-(intercom buzzes) -(yelps, groans)
-Second, don't let the intercom scare you. -(beep)
Christina (on intercom): Madam Mayor, the gentleman from the parking garage is here.
Great. He's already upset about you blowing up his garage.
Why? The jaywalker's getaway car was parked there.
So were a thousand other cars!
I won't apologize for being thorough.
You will do exactly as I say.
This stays hush-hush.
If anyone finds out,
it'll seem like I'm not in control of the city.
-And that's the last-- Whoa. Whoa! -(thud)
Oh... (sighs) Your head is so big.
It's like balancing a turkey on a toothpick!
**
(door creaks)
You need to find me a new place to park cars!
Just park them in the park. It's right there in the name.
-I'm allowed to do that? -I do it all the time.
It's not like there's a law against it.
Roxie-As-Megamind: There's absolutely a law against it!
He can't park cars in the public park!
Is this thing on?
-(sotto) Yes, it's on. -Huh?
(normal) The things I say under my breath are not for you.
Roxie-As-Megamind: Your request is not possible.
Roxie-As-Megamind: Thank you for stopping by.
(sotto) Really? That's it? Can I give him a muffin or something?
-I'd like a muffin. -No muffin.
I withdraw my offer of muffins.
Figures. I had a feeling you'd do nothing for me.
If I remember to vote, It won't be for you.
(slams door)
Let me tell you something I learned in the few seconds
I've been mayor. People like to hear "yes."
It's all that "no" stuff that makes you unpopular.
No wonder you're stressed out all the time.
This should be an easy job.
The job would be a lot easier without all of your
swing-by-the-seat- of-your-pants antics.
Now, you're attacking pants antics,
the one sport I'm good at!
Give me this pew-pew ray gun,
and I'd do 10 times the saving you do
with half the damage!
Ha! Maybe a 13% reduction. At most.
(door opens)
(gasps)
-(gasps) -(chair squeaking)
(casual music playing)
O-Okay... Uh,
there are more angry people here who wanna complain to you.
-Let them in. -Get rid of them.
The mayor isn't really feeling well,
and we thought maybe she should rest.
I've made a remarkable recovery!
Christina, send in the complainers!
Don't you have to present Keiko Morita
with the Citizen Heroism Award?
I don't see that here.
That's because the defender of the city gives that medal.
You must be getting our schedules confused
-for no real reason at all. -You heard the mayor!
-(shoes squeak) -Playtime is over! Move it!
-But-- But-- -Let's go, let's go! Brilliant retort, as always.
-Do nothing. Say nothing. -(door slams)
Ugh, and let her wallow in the hatred of her citizenry?
No. I will make Roxanne Ritchie
the most popular mayor in Metrocity history!
-(maniacal laugh) -(dramatic music playing)
-(door opens) -(dramatic music stops)
Are you speaking in third person?
Maybe. Megamind does it,
and he's way cooler than you.
**
- Roxie-As-Megamind: Metro--AH. - (feedback)
Metrocity is fortunate enough
to have someone as brave as Keiko
among its citizens.
Or ci-tie-zens.
And let's not forget the importance of a good mayor
'cause you've got one. She can be overlooked, you know.
She's really doing everything she can
about all the damage. Or de-mage.
(confused chatter)
Anyway, for her bravery
in helping stop the Doom Syndicate,
I present Keiko Morita with this award.
-Let's hear it for her, Metrocity! -(Keiko gasps)
(cheering and applause)
Roxanne?
No. I'm Megamind.
Keiko: I appreciate you taking time
from throwing darts at the mayor's picture
to give me this award.
He does that?!
Aha! You are Roxanne!
(sighs) Okay, okay.
(sighs) He tried some switcheroo tech on me,
and it's not wearing off.
And how is that a bad thing?
Oh, I'd love to be Megamind for a day.
Chasing bad guys, zapping stuff with the pa-pow ray gun.
Oh, you know what? We should totally stop some crimes!
No! I need to get back to my office.
He's at my desk, looking like me,
and I have to make sure he doesn't do any mayor stuff!
You could do that,
or you could not be a totally lame person
and stop some crimes!
-Yeah, but-- -Hear me out.
This could also help Megamind's web channel.
I need some content where he's a little more personable,
and that comes naturally to you.
Thanks, I get it, but we shouldn't press our luck.
-Also, his pants are really tight. -(pants squeaking)
I've got a super-wedgie going on.
So sorry I'm late, Sir.
I was trying to butter toast with some very cold butter.
-Oh, it's fine. -No, it's not!
I'm a terrible sidekick.
**
Oh. Um, you know, I don't say this enough,
but I appreciate you.
Sir? Are you okay?
-Maybe we should check your temperature. -(radio beeps)
Officer (on radio): Attention, all units. Purse snatching in progress.
Shall we pursue, Sir?
Oh, I don't think that's a very good--
Dude! You gotta spend time in Megamind's shoes,
-see how it feels. -Uh,
pretty sure he does that every day, Keiko.
I guess this could be a chance
to prove that it is possible to save the day
without causing so much pain-in-the-mayoral-rear damage.
-(ray gun whirs) -Plus, I get to fire the pew-pew ray gun.
I thought we agreed it was more of a chicka-pow ray gun.
-(pop song playing on radio) -(gasps)
Oh, uh, sorry, Sir. I know you hate this song.
I don't, actually.
Just yesterday,
you said it was the national anthem of throwing up.
Well, I've changed my mind. It's catchy.
Makes me wanna dance in my too-tight pants.
-Turn it up. -Okay, then!
-(engine roaring) -Can I get a "waka waka woo" up in here?!
* Waka waka woo *
(phone ringing)
-Mayor's office. -(phone chatter)
You want to place a giant snow globe in the art district?
In the middle of the street? In the middle of summer?!
-I can't think of a single reason why not! Yes! -(phone ringing)
-You've got the mayor. -(phone chatter)
Parking enforcement is overwhelmed?
-Well, I say yes to giving them the day off! -(phone ringing)
Dog lovers wanna hold a rally in the city square?
-That's a big yes! -(phone ringing)
Cat lovers wanna hold a rally in the city square?
The more the merrier! Y-E-S spells yes!
Whee!
(dramatic music playing)
(panting) I need to hit the gym more!
(groans)
Please stop! I have a rock in my boot!
(tires screech, cars honk)
(grunting)
Uh-oh. Getting the pukies.
(gasps) I'm never gonna catch this guy.
Time for old pew-pew!
(whirring)
-(zapping) -Wh-Whoa! Whoa! Ah!
(zapping)
Huh?
**
-(zapping) -Chum.
What do you think is the best setting on this right now?
You're asking my opinion, Sir?
He turned down the next block!
Chum, cut him off! I need a good ending.
(panting)
-Roxie-As-Megamind: Ha, ha! -Huh?
-Got you! -(scared yelp)
-(zapping) -(struggling, yelling)
-Oh... (gasps) -(whirring)
**
(laughs) See ya!
-(clang) -(grunts)
Woo! What a rush!
And I have to say, I don't think we did that much damage.
(distant siren)
-(rumbling) -(people screaming)
(dramatic music playing)
-Ooh, we did much damage. -(car alarms blare)
Now, give us a pose and a line.
Um...
Remember, I did not do this alone.
It took all three of us to stop this purse snatcher.
(heroic sting)
He was very fast.
A Megamind who takes direction.
This is a dream!
(explosion)
(sirens wailing)
(upbeat rock music playing)
Hey-hey!
You know what is going to send Roxanne's--
Uh, I mean my approval ratings through the roof?
Showmanship!
("The Polka Dot Llama" playing)
* Bing bop, biddy biddy bing bop *
* Zing zoo, waka waka woo *
* Bing bop, biddy biddy bing bop *
* Zing zoo, waka waka woo *
* My polka dot llama likes to play *
* He runs all night *
* And sleeps all day *
* When I get lost, he knows the way *
* And this is what he has to say *
* Bing bop, biddy biddy bing bop *
* Zing zoo, waka waka woo *
* Bing bop, biddy biddy bing bop *
* Zing zoo, waka waka woo *
* My llama loves the circus ring *
* He jumps around, bing bong bing *
* Eats hay all day like a king *
* And this is what he likes to sing *
* Bing bop, biddy biddy bing bop *
* Zing zoo, waka waka woo... *
-(fizzling) -(gasps)
Doppler: I promise, your next public appearance
is going to be electrifying!
-(screaming) -(explosion)
(dramatic sting)
Oh, Megamind.
Have you always been this strong, smart, and appealing?
Thank you for sending my popularity
-into the stratosphere! -(news music playing)
Anchor (on TV): Megamind has been at it again.
-Citizens are fed up. The meal? -(people screaming)
Megamind's excessive destruction.
He turned me into a bullion cube.
My doctor says I'm not supposed to be a bullion cube.
What in the name of Darwin's donut?
-She's ruining my rep! Roxie! -(beep)
-Come in. -I'm here.
We're just stuck in some sort of traffic nightmare.
(cars honking)
What exactly have you been doing out there?
It's taken a lot of work to make you popular,
and you're destroying the city in my name?
I am not-- Wait.
What do you mean, make me popular?
Have you been mayoring?
(nervous laugh) Funny story.
I might have made some appearances.
-Appearances? As in more than one appearance? -(cars honking)
And maybe changed some parking laws.
(people yelling)
(dramatic music playing)
Ah!
Did you approve of that gaudy art snow globe I kept rejecting?
Apparently, people love giant things
where they're not supposed to be.
-I don't get it either. -(muffled crowd yelling)
-Hey, move it! -Get outta the road!
I gotta get to work here!
There's a war brewing outside, ma'am!
(crowd yelling)
You said dog rally, not cat rally.
Dogs aren't smart enough to rally!
This is preposterous.
Why can't you all get along? Like cats and dogs!
(crowd yelling)
We should get you back inside, ma'am.
I'm reaping what I've sown.
Things are coming back to bite me in the butt.
-I've created a monster. And other clichés! -(beep)
-Roxie-As-Megamind: What's happening? -So, listen. Sure,
I did some mayoring wrong, and now they all hate me or you.
(sighs) W-We're gonna have to fix this.
The people need to hear from their calm, collected mayor.
Megamind-As-Roxie: I don't know how to quell the masses.
Remember, they're looking for leadership.
First, get a podium in front of you.
(thud)
(tapping, feedback)
Now, give a speech that's stern but fair.
Citizens of Metrocity.
Start acting civilized or feel my wrath!
-(all gasp) -No!
Do not threaten the citizens.
(thunder cracking)
(gasps)
-(dramatic music playing) -(thunder clapping)
Oh, good. Lady Doppler just showed up.
Didn't you say you'd handle her?
Sorry. I got distracted by the whole becoming you thing.
Good news is she's after me now,
so you're it.
Fine. You calm the mob.
I think I've spent enough time in your shoes
to keep this weather witch at bay.
(thunder crackling)
-(evil laughter) -(electricity fizzling)
(dramatic crescendo)
(crowd yelling)
(quietly) Roxie, they're staring at me
with their ordinary eyes. What do I say?
Megamind! Your girlfriend shoulda worn a raincoat
'cause a blizzard's coming to City Hall!
A raincoat for snow?
Do you even know what weather is?
A raincoat for snow?
Do you even know what weather is?
(sotto) That was for Doppler, not you.
Hey, Doppler, here's a forecast for you.
A butt-kicking front coming in with a 100% chance of defeat!
(sotto) You're getting some great lines in on Doppler,
but I need great lines, too.
-Feel my thunder! (yells) -Ah!
-Oh! -(ear microchip clattering)
**
-(static) -Hello? Hello?!
Not ideal.
You do realize that was lightning, not thunder, right?
Catch me if you can.
(laughing)
("Polka Dot Llama" playing on radio)
We can't let her get to Megamind!
She's already gotten past you, Sir.
-Way past, in fact. -Uh, I meant Roxanne.
-Let's go! -(dramatic music playing)
-Hello? Hello? -(crowd yelling)
I gotta say something.
Citizens of Metro...Ci...ty.
(yelling stops)
I think you're all wonderful.
And marvelous! And...
really cool and stuff.
-The end. And mic drop? -(feedback)
(confused chatter)
**
Not one more step.
I got you, Gail.
Really?
(beep)
(fizzling, clang)
Womp, womp. Oh, what happened to you?
You used to be better than this.
-Pathetic! -(yelps, grunts)
-(evil laughter) -(dramatic sting)
-(booing) -Christina: Okay, okay!
Everyone, just calm down!
-(fruit flying) -Ma'am,
I advise you to open your mouth and let words come out.
What would Roxanne do?
She wouldn't vaporize anyone, so that's out.
She would also say "no" a lot.
**
Ollo-- Hello. How's it going?
-(crowd booing) -Okay, okay.
You're mad because I used to say "no" too much,
and now, I've said "yes" too much.
What I've learned is there's a time for each of those,
and now is a "no" time.
Like no division.
We can all work together to make things easier.
-Eh, I don't know about that. -She's not wrong.
What about no fighting? That's good!
If you're a dog lover, don't fight with the cat lovers.
They're just like you,
only they prefer to love an animal that actively hates them
and goes to the bathroom in a box in their home.
The point is, we're all the same.
We're all weird, but, you know, a-a good weird.
And if we can all imagine walking in each other's shoes,
maybe we can learn to appreciate
and respect each other's weirdness.
Then, none of us are weird! We're just us.
-Metrocity! -(cheering)
-(thunder rumbles) -(crowd gasps)
-(zapping) -(crowd screams)
**
We interrupt this boring speech for a weather alert.
An earthquake's a-comin'!
An earthquake isn't weather.
-Why is everybody on my case today? -(fizzling)
(gasps) Roxie is in danger. Let's go!
You go. I'm sure it'll be easier
to defeat Lady Doppler without me.
That doesn't sound like you, Sir.
Yeah, we're gonna need confident Megamind back.
But my pew-pew ray gun is busted. (blows raspberry)
Pardon my language, but gun shmun.
(cat yowls)
It's your wits that protect the city, Sir,
not your weapon.
Well, as Keiko knows,
I'm not quite feeling like myself today.
But even if you're feeling like, oh, say Roxanne today,
you know that Roxanne is at least as smart as you.
Huh.
You're right.
I am as smart as Roxanne.
Not sure I understand, but I agree with the message!
You're the master of plans and schemes.
I'm certain you can come up with a way
to contain Lady Doppler's weather attack.
Contain the weather... That's it!
The mayor may have been terrible today,
but she gave us just the tool we need to defeat Doppler!
Plans and schemes! That's my Sir!
(dramatic music playing)
(struggling)
You're about to lose in a landslide!
(whooshing, zapping)
That's clearly a tornado.
And again, landslide? Not weather!
I'm exhausted correcting this woman.
Aw, unfortunately, there's no time for an official recall.
Let's just skip to the part where you're ousted!
(gasps)
Looks like the sky is clearing up.
Didn't I already defeat you?
You destroyed my gun, not my mind.
Nothing a change in weather pattern can't fix.
Ah! (whimpers)
(thunder rumbling)
Chum! Snow globe!
(grunts, yells)
(Lady Doppler grunts)
Yes!
(screaming)
I think I'm gonna be sick! (retches)
Doppler out. (whimpers)
That's a wrap, everybody!
(upbeat music playing)
Outstanding work.
Specifically the saving me part.
(laughs) I even had a cool line!
Looks like the sky is clearing up!
Crowd: Megamind! Megamind! Megamind!
(sighs) It sounds so beautiful.
Like angels.
You calmed them down all on your own.
That's great.
They were chanting your name earlier, I swear.
Looks like Metrocity loves us both once again.
Bring it in, team.
I love this new in-touch-with-your-feelings Sir.
Let's not get too used to it. Maybe just special occasions.
-(upbeat music playing) -(whirring)
(soft music playing)
(crowd cheering)
Roxie: Thank you!
Now, I hate to be a "mayor downer..."
Get it? Like major-- (sighs) Never mind.
Parking rules are back in effect and fines will be doubled.
-I gotta move my car! -I can't afford a ticket!
-(car doors slam) -(tires squeal)
Thanks for the opportunity, Sir.
-From now on, this song will be ours. -("Polka Dot Llama" playing)
* Bing bop, Biddy biddy bing bop *
No, no, no, no. Not the national anthem of throwing up!
* Zing zoo, waka waka woo, my llama-- *
-(song stops) -Your ever-changing personality remains
a wonderful mystery to me, Sir.
("Polka Dot Llama" playing)
* Bing bop, Biddy biddy bing bop *
* Zing zoo, waka waka woo *
* Bing bop, Biddy biddy bing bop *
* Zing zoo, waka waka woo *
* Now, a cow can moo, moo! *
* And a dove does coo, coo! *
* And a ghost goes boo, boo! *
* But this is what my llama says with a giggle or two *
* Bing bop, Biddy biddy bing bop *
* Zing zoo, waka waka woo *
* Bing bop, Biddy biddy bing bop *
* Zing zoo, waka waka woo! *