(neon buzzing)
-(line straining) -(grunting)
-Huh? -Hello.
(screams)
(theme song playing)
* Supervillain, ahead of his time *
* Incredibly handsome genius, criminal mastermind *
* But now he's all cleaned up and fighting crime *
* A superhero that you stream online *
* It's Megamind *
* Oh, it feels good to be good this time *
* It's Megamind *
* Oh, it's Megamind *
* Rules! *
(whirring)
-(screaming, grunts) -(zapping)
-(groaning) -Lady Doppler: Always a pleasure
making a fool outta you, Megamind.
And thanks for the isotopes.
You mean these isotopes?
Who's the fool now?
-(laughs) -(whirs)
Pierre: It would appear you are Monsieur Fool!
-(laughing) -(Megamind groans)
-(Megamind panting) -(clang)
-(groans) -(clicking, whirring)
Time to spin this in my favor.
(zap)
(yelps)
(woozy grunting)
Looks like someone skipped a well-balanced breakfast.
-(whoosh) -(grunts)
I just have coffee. Dark blend.
(maniacal laugh)
Come on, Megamind. You got this.
Okay, I don't got this!
Nighty-Knight: Around and around you go!
Oh, wait. I got it!
Ah! My eyes!
(yelling, grunts)
Ah!
Don't fall asleep on the job!
Megamind: Know this.
I will not rest until I get those isotopes!
But first, maybe a quick power nap.
(snores)
As per your ordinance,
we have slept-- (clears throat)
swept this city clean.
-And the isotopes? -That I lost,
mostly because we were sweeping,
but I will not rest until I've recovered them,
-Roberta. -Roxie.
I'm Megamind. You're Roxie, Roberta.
-Uh, is his brain broken? -How would we tell?
(snoring, grunts)
You've been chasing villains all night.
You should go to bed.
Hopefully a right-side-up one.
Heroes don't rest.
Now, I really have to get back to the lair.
Keiko: Um, this is your lair, buddy.
Ah, yes, of course. Thank you, Chum.
-(snoring) -If Megamind doesn't get some rest,
he's gonna have a complete Mega-meltdown.
And those are never pretty. But not to worry.
I'll have him shipshape on the good ship Shipshape
-in no time. (laughs) -I know you will, Chum.
-(groans) -He really needs some rest.
Ma'am, you have a full day of wall-to-wall meetings.
Keiko, Chum, this has been a confusing waste of time,
per usual.
Well, you and I should be able to handle things
while Megamind rests and recuperates.
I've got his beloved binky right here.
First of all, he uses a binky?
Like a little baby?
Don't tell him I told you.
But, yes, it does help him relax.
That's a fun fact our followers don't need to know about.
Anyway, it's a school day, bro.
I'm only here for the toaster pastries.
Oh, but he's in pretty bad shape, Keiko.
I don't know if I can take care of him alone.
(groans, snores)
I'll come back right when school is out
and give you a hand. But, come on.
You're Chum. You've got this.
-(musical beeping) -(gasps)
Izzy Iggy, lead singer of Facemelter,
is doing a show in town!
Sir's gonna want tickets for sure.
-(click) -(rock drum beat playing)
I love this song!
* Put your hands up high, grab the air *
* Clap your hands, like you just don’t care *
* Stomp your feet on the cement floor *
* Do the robot now, open-- *
-(turns off music) -Chum,
I cannot let myself be distracted
by the smooth sounds and velvety voice of Izzy Iggy!
There's work to do!
-(snores) -Sir, you should be in bed relaxing.
Here, take your binky.
Oh, I don't need to relax, and I don't need my binky.
What I need is to create a simulation
of every possible move the Doom Syndicate could make!
This will keep me a good six to seven steps ahead.
-Okay... -But not only that, I need to create a simulation
of every possible move the Doom Syndicate could make.
This will keep me a good six to seven steps ahead.
Ooh! A butterfly!
How did you even get in here, you silly little bug fairy, you?
(sighs) He may not know it, but this Izzy Iggy show
is exactly what Sir needs to recharge his batteries.
"Remaining Izzy tickets only available at the box office."
Huh...
He'd probably be fine by himself
if I stepped out for just a second.
(wheezing laugh)
Although I don't agree with your politics,
that is too funny, Butterfly.
Or maybe not.
How can I get those tickets and care for Sir?
Oh, I could really use an assistant of my own today.
Huh...
Alright, cloning machine.
Let's make another me to watch Sir
-while I grab those tickets! -(beep)
-Just need a little DNA. -(whirring)
**
(gargling)
Sir could use a little more attention than usual,
so I'll adjust the new me just a skosh.
I'm already smart enough,
so let's trade some intelligence for persistence.
(zapping, whirring)
(exciting music playing)
(electricity fizzling)
Oh, very handsome!
I shall call you Chum Two.
Must be because I'm too ready to serve, Sir!
(laughs)
Well, I'm glad I didn't skimp on my witty repartee.
(snores)
-(thump) -Ah! Stop hitting me!
Okay then. Try to get him to rest
while I'm off on my errand to help him,
you know, rest.
Oh!
Uh, in case it rains on your journey.
-Well, thank you! -And here's your lunch.
Oh, I should be back in a jiff.
Ah-ah! No one's ever been sorry they brought a lunch.
I never thought of it that way.
Or actually, I suppose I did.
(laughs)
I can't say why,
but what I'm seeing makes me believe the Doom Syndicate
is building a giant radioactive banana.
Diabolical! Hey!
What the?!
No rest is for the wicked, Sir.
And you are not wicked. Anymore.
-Here we go. And... -(chair creaking)
What are you... It doesn't recline!
-Not with that attitude. -(snaps)
Whoa! (grunting)
Explain yourself, Chum!
Chum Two: Oh, my apologies, Sir.
Allow me to relax you.
(muffled yelling)
(spits)
-Would you please go away?! -(sighs)
I'm letting Sir down.
Not Sir would be so disappointed.
How do I make up for two disappointments
when there's just one me?
-(curious music playing) -Huh.
-(line chatter) -Clerk: Next.
Good day, employed citizen. I would like to purchase
two tickets to the Izzy Iggy show, please.
It's a lottery.
Is that like, "It's a vibe"?
Clerk: No. It means I give you a number,
and then we'll randomly call out numbers,
and those people will get a chance
to buy the two remaining tickets.
14? My lucky number!
That's the age I was when Sir first said "thank you" to me.
Congratulations. Wait over there.
And next!
**
Tuna? I hate tuna.
-Other me should know that. -(dialing)
Lair of Megamind! This is Chum Two.
I just wanted to check in.
You gave me tuna, which I do not eat,
and I was worried that adjusting your personality
-might have been-- -Chum Two: Please hold!
Wait, wait, wait! Don't put the hold music on!
(rock drumbeat playing)
* Put your hands up high, grab the air *
* Clap your hands, like you just don’t care *
-Whoa! -S-Sorry!
I-I can't help but follow instructional song lyrics.
(nervous laugh)
-(grunts) -Christina Christo!
(sighs) Chunk, right?
Chum, actually.
I'm just here getting Izzy tickets for Megamind.
Well, Roxie asked me to get two tickets
for her and Megamind.
She said she wanted him to relax.
At a metal show? So weird.
Well, since I'm already getting tickets for him,
you should probably call Roxie and tell her Chum is on it.
I'd call myself, but I'm on hold with... myself.
No, no, no. When she asks me to do something, I do it.
That's why I'm the best.
I would never leave anything in the hands of,
-well, you. -I have never let Sir down,
so I kind of feel like I can handle this.
Driver: Nice moves, weirdo!
Thank you! Can't resist instructional songs!
(sighs) I'm obviously too flawed to keep Sir relaxed,
-but that can be fixed. -(beeping)
One perfectionist Chum coming up!
(zapping)
**
(sighs) Perfect!
-(beeping) -I'm writing an extremely complicated code
that should ensure the Doom Syndicate never again,
um...
(sighs) I forget what, but trust me!
It's gonna be the hottest thing
since sliced beds.
-Much too close to the screen, Sir. -Ah!
You'll damage your eyes.
Oh, and look at this unkempt workspace.
(beeping)
My code!
That was really complicated and important!
I think.
Killing germs is important, Sir.
I have no use for a clean freak.
I need someone who is passionate about stopping crime.
Passion, you say? I can do that, Sir!
-Oh, 'scuse me. -(whirring)
(beeping)
(electricity fizzling)
Let's do this!
(gasps) What is this? A crime simulation?!
Um, yes.
If I can cut the Syndicate off here, they'll be trapped.
Yes! I'm on the edge of my seat!
-The tension is electrifying. -(triumphant sting)
Right...
And so, if we defeat them here...
We'll be heroes!
Yes...
But if I don't make it here in time--
The world may end! No, no, no!
-(screaming) -(smashing)
What are you doing?!
These markers represent human beings!
How could you be so insensitive?
More sensitivity. Got it, Sir.
(whirring, beeping)
(zap)
(Chum clone whimpering)
What's the matter now?
I tried to make you toast,
but I hurt the toast instead!
-(sobbing) -Uh...
-There, there. -(wailing)
The toaster was just on the wrong calibration.
It could be fixed.
You should be happy, dear Chum.
Happy? Okay, Sir.
-Calibration? -(whirring, zap)
Is my de-gun properly calibrated?
Oh! The de-gun!
Are we gonna use it to stop crime?
That would be so fun!
Okay...
When do we fight bad guys,
and how much fun will that be? Scale of 1 to 10?
You know what you should do?
You should work on the, um,
-Invisible Car! -Oh, yes! Yes!
(laughs) It's the best day ever!
How am I supposed to work with all this insanity?
I think Chum might need a nap.
What do you guys think?
Chums: We think you could use a nap.
Why am I hearing more than one...
Chums?
Chums: Hello!
-What is going on here?! -(dramatic crescendo)
Ha! You, a better assistant than moi?
For the 10th time, I'm not an assistant.
I'm her chief of staff.
Then why are you fetching concert tickets? Hmm?
Okay, fine. I sometimes do assistanty things,
but when I do, I am far better than you could even dream.
I can assist circles around you!
In fact, watch as I use my superior assisting
to ensure I win this lottery.
Excuse me, good sir.
May I interest you in my assisting services
in exchange for your lottery number?
Well, I was supposed to buy iguana food today...
**
Chum: Here you are, sir!
That was impressive! (laughs)
Deal's a deal.
Looks like the superior assistant
just doubled his chances
of getting the tickets for his boss.
You best not think you can best me.
I can do better than best you.
Well, then. Time for a good old-fashioned assist-off.
-(yawns) -Half-caff, light cream, two sugars,
stirred twice, and hot, but not too hot.
Amazing! Now, I can work on my essay.
-(yelps) -Speaking of which,
a complete history of Pompeii! And look.
Graphs.
-(dogs barking) -(gasping) Here you go.
Tiger did his business, Spuds tired herself out,
and Dino sniffed out a fire.
-Thank you. Whoa, whoa! -(dogs barking)
**
(brushing)
-And spit, please, sir. -(spits)
Tooth brushing! Will wonders never cease?
I know what will turn that blue frown upside down!
-Tickle fight! -(laughing)
I love that idea so much, I'm going to marry it!
With Sir's blessing, of course.
(sobbing) Idea weddings always make me cry!
Sir, if we have the ceremony here at the lair,
it's a tax write-off!
(Chums chattering)
Hey, I'm back! Just like I promised... Whoa!
Chums: Keiko, everything is under control!
Keiko! I just realized what's going on here!
I'm dreaming!
-I'm very sure you're not dreaming. -(mystical music playing)
And since we're positive I'm dreaming,
I can do whatever I want!
Whee!
I never felt so free!
-(whooping) -Lemme make a wild guess here.
Chum made a clone because he needed help,
and that clone made more clones.
And now, Megamind has no concept of reality
because he's having a complete Mega-meltdown!
No!
Well, actually, yes.
(alarm blaring)
(news music playing)
Anchor (on TV): Things are growing dangerous downtown
-as a now 40-foot Behemoth rampages through Metr-- -(static)
Oh, this dream is only getting better!
I get to battle a 40-foot Behemoth
with my unlimited dream powers!
To the Invisible Car!
-Chums: Coming, Sir! -You four stay here.
I'm gonna be his dream sherpa and make sure he stays safe
and doesn't try anything stupid.
I'm gonna destroy Behemoth
with electric beams from my eyeballs!
Dream power!
-You will never stop us from assisting our Sir! -(yelps)
(grunts)
-(Chums yell) -(crashing)
-(rumbling) -(straining)
-(grunts) -(clang)
That'll do.
Ah! Tell me you're normal Chum!
I just wanted to say tweedle-dee dinglee-deedledee!
Because it's so fun to say when you're happy like me!
(laughing) Yeah!
Oh, definitely not normal Chum.
Listen up. This is my dream,
and I want to make fighting Behemoth
be as fun as a dream can make possible!
I know what's fun! We'll get the new improved Invisible Car
and sneak up on Behemoth!
It'll be like a surprise party!
I don't think that's a...
Wait, that's actually not a bad idea.
-And... voilàà! -(car whirring)
(electric guitar riff)
This is perfect!
This is a disaster.
Okay, real talk.
You're heading to battle with Behemoth,
and you do not have magic dream powers!
Oh, you're way more fun in real life, Keiko.
I'm flying in my dream!
-Whee! -(engine roars)
-Oh no! -(Behemoth roars)
-Make the car invisible. -Aw, but I wanna see
if we can make Behemoth smile at its pretty colors!
We can stop it with the dream power of happiness!
-No! -Yes, we can.
(honking)
-(roars) Ooh. -(smash)
Pretty car.
-(stomping) -Aw, it worked! We made him smile.
Behemoth smash pretty car!
-(roars) -(screaming)
Megamind: I never felt nauseous in a dream before!
-(laughs) -It's not a dream!
Don't worry, bummer dream Keiko.
My electro-vision will blast Behemoth!
(aggressive humming)
Oh, please end well. Please end well.
-(banging) -Chum clone: Sir! Let us help you!
I will rescue you!
Strike me down! Sir is out there in danger!
And he doesn't even have his binky!
(gasps) The perfect plan to help Sir.
I know it will come to us if we just put our heads together!
Put our heads together... (gasps)
What if we use the cloning machine
to combine our molecules, lower all our attributes,
and maximize strength, making one gigantic us!
-(clang) -(whirring, zapping)
-(smash) -(stomping)
I'm coming, Sir!
(dramatic crescendo)
(muffled stomping)
-Hi, Roxanne! -Hi, Chum.
-Take that! And that! (grunting) -(Behemoth laughs)
-Who tickle Behemoth? -(clang)
Megamind? (growls)
Huh?
I'll save you, Sir!
(gasps, panting)
-Whoa! -(air whistling)
-(stomp) -A great big Chum! Keiko!
Isn't this the most wonderful dream?!
You know what? I'm gonna give in to the crazy.
-This kicks butt! -You just relax, Sir.
I'll handle this.
-(yells) -(Behemoth grunts)
-(smash) -(grunts)
Everything's giant monsters these days.
Where's the remote? (grunts)
-(rumbling) -(Behemoth roars)
-(smashing) -(screaming)
Shh! Sir is trying to nap!
(both yell)
(smash)
(muffled struggling)
Ha! He did it! Megamind did it!
Megamind: Yes. Thank you. You're all welcome.
He destroyed the streets again!
I can't get to work!
Even in my dream,
when I win, I lose.
This city will be the death of me.
(sucking)
This city will be the death of him?
I have to act fast. I must...
-(smash) -destroy the city before it destroys Sir!
-Whoa! Ho! -(clatters)
-(muffled destruction) -(muffled crowd screaming)
-(muffled roar) -(muffled stomping)
-Huh? -(dramatic crescendo)
Hm.
I'd be happy to help anyone with anything!
I'll do twice her anything
-and be three times as happy about it! -(grunting)
Clerk: And the final number is...
**
-14. -(gasps) That's me. I win!
I'm the best assistant in the city!
Ha, ha! Yes! Told you! In your face!
-(smash) -Huh?
-(people screaming) -(grunting)
-(stomp) -(gasps)
I think Megamind might need some top-notch assisting
right about now. You take the tickets.
If I'm gonna lose, at least it's to another assistant
and a really good one.
-(panting) -(dramatic crescendo)
-(sleepy groaning) -Oh, my. Looks like my plan went a little haywire.
He's finally resting, so you kind of did your job.
-(snoring) -Sir...
-It's time to wake up, Sir. -Oh, Chum.
-(relaxing music playing) -I had the craziest dream ever.
There were so many yous, but not in a good way.
-Then, a giant you wrestled a mountain in the street. -(smash, people screaming)
Actually, it was real, Sir. It all happened.
We're too late!
Until the city is flattened,
I don't think this MegaChum will follow a single instruction!
That's a great idea, Sir!
There's one kind of instruction no Chum can resist!
-(crowd screaming) -MegaChum: Sorry!
Apologies, everyone. Nothing personal.
Just have to destroy everything real quick
before you become the death of my Sir.
(heavy metal song playing)
What is that?
(song blasting on radio)
* Raise your hands like a crazy mutt *
* Be mellow, don't crush Mr. Donut *
-It's working, Chum! Keep going! -Got it!
* Gently place the cars on the ground *
* Don't scare the people and turn around *
**
* Run away with a nice smooth motion *
* Make a bee-line for the deep blue ocean *
Instruction songs?
The funnest songs in the whole fun-a-verse!
* Wade in slow so you do not drown *
* Bend those knees and sit on down *
* Now dunk that head with no concern *
* And swim away and don't you return *
(song ends)
You know, this old man guitar music's starting to grow on me.
Chum! (panting)
-I think you should have these. -Really?
You put our dumb competition aside
to do some phenomenal assisting.
-And you saved the city. -(snoring)
Oh, Sir will be so touched that you--
I didn't do it for him.
Us assistants have to stick together.
(heartfelt music playing)
(clink)
Megamind: You did a great job, Chum.
I'm quite proud. But remember.
One Chum has always been enough for me.
Um, Sir?
(groggy): That's my little fish monkey.
(kiss, laugh)
Operation Mega Meltdown was only a partial success.
We've got the hairbrush, but the binky's not here.
Machiavillain (on phone): (sighs) I would need a crayon
to put this into simpler terms.
The binky is the key to my entire plan.
(sighs) It's so hard to find quality assistants.
But, I guess if you want something done right,
you have to get someone else to do it yourself!
(maniacal laugh)
(Izzy Iggy singing)
**
* Not to repeat myself *
* But free will is a lie *
* Free will is a lie... *
Huh!