(neon buzzing)
-(line straining) -(grunting)
-Huh? -Hello.
(screams)
(theme song playing)
* Supervillain, ahead of his time *
* Incredibly handsome genius, criminal mastermind *
* But now he's all cleaned up and fighting crime *
* A superhero that you stream online *
* It's Megamind *
* Oh, it feels good to be good this time *
* It's Megamind *
* Oh, it's Megamind *
* Rules! *
-(dramatic music playing) -(hissing)
Machiavillain: I am born anew!
You've served me well,
my sad, pathetic little puppies.
And now, as we're about to deliver
our devilish main course,
it's time for the flourish!
As I once told my little blue pupil,
the key to supervillainy is...
presentation!
-(Syndicate applauds, cheers) -Thank you.
Thank you. N-No, you're too kind.
Ooh! I almost forgot
how beautiful I am.
You look great.
I said I almost forgot,
but your sniveling platitude is noted.
When you're reborn, it's like you're seeing and smelling
and hearing everything for the first time.
(gasps) Music! I need music!
(clicking, beep)
(electro-pop music playing)
I said music.
Something with style, not ear torture.
-(beep) -(glam rock music playing)
Oh... Mm...
Pardon, but was zere a point to all of zis?
Yeah. When do we get to the part where we destroy Megamind?
Trying to simply destroy Megamind
is where you've all failed.
We need to do more than that.
We have to destroy who he thinks he's become.
-(typing) -It's time to put Metro City's hero
to the test!
-(marching band playing) -We're here at City Hall Plaza,
where citizens are gathered to celebrate Comet Day.
Can you believe it? The Metro City Comet.
This only happens once every hundred years!
Yeah, that's... something.
A whole day of festivities are planned
with Mayor Roxanne Ritchi presiding.
Hooray for the mayor!
I know her!
-We all know her, Chum. -Excuse me,
but somebody doesn't seem to be in the proper spirit
to watch a 10-mile-wide chunk of ice, dust,
and small rocky particles pass by the Earth.
Sorry, I-I just got a lot on my mind today.
Well, Dr. Chum's advice clinic just happens to be open!
-Come on, let's rap. -Uh, okay.
It'd be easier if I just come out and say it,
so hold any comments and questions
for after I'm done getting it all out.
You got it.
I kind of gave Megamind's binky away.
You gave Megamind's binky away?!
A-Ahem. Sorry. That was a comment,
and I apologize. Please, go on.
-(sad music playing) -To Machiavillain.
Machiavillain's back?!
Oops. That was a question. I'm really bad at this.
But we need to tell Sir as soon as possible!
It was my mistake.
I need to be the one to tell him. Promise me, Chum.
-Oh boy. -(dramatic crescendo)
(annoyed crowd chatter)
Not too late to get someone
a little more surprising as our surprise guest.
Even you have to admit, people love Megamind.
People also love playing with baboons.
That is, until nature takes its course.
Well, my blue guy hasn't let us down yet.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's my proud duty
to introduce today's guest and my good friend,
-Megamind. -(applause, crowd cheering)
-(triumphant music) -Crowd: Megamind! Megamind!
-Megamind! Megamind... -(sighs)
Where is he?
(crowd chanting on TV)
(yawns) I slept like a handsome log last night.
Oh, Sir, you're just in time to see your entrance.
Wait a second. You're supposed to be at the comet ceremony!
(spits) That was today?!
I have to get down there!
Chum, where's my good cape? The black one!
-It's with all the other black ones. -Megamind: Got it!
(panting)
(yelps, grunts)
Ahem.
I know you're in a hurry,
but I need to tell you something.
Keiko, I'm already late for an event
and what's sure to be an epic Roxanne brow-beating.
It really can't wait!
-Keiko, I really don't have time for-- -(beeping)
-(gasps) -Well, well, well, if it isn't my formerly prized pupil.
-Machiavillain! -(dramatic music playing)
It can't be. I thought you were--
Machiavillain (on TV): Defeated?
Destroyed? Didn't I teach you
that it's impossible to keep a truly bad villain down?
I'm here to find inspiration for my next evil project.
And here you are, my megamuse.
Well, maybe you haven't heard, but I'm not a villain anymore.
Yes. I can't tell you how disappointed I was to hear
that you're now batting for the losing team.
Justice might lose a game here and there,
but we make up for it in the off-season.
The off-season is for exhibition games,
but this is the finals,
and I'm heavily favored to win.
It doesn't matter if you win or lose!
It's how well you play the game!
Then, why even bother keeping score?
Because! Uh...
-Ha-ha! Gotcha! -Goh!
Chum, what's happening?
It's almost as if Sir is at a loss for words.
Blast him!
He knows sports metaphors have never been my strong suit.
Machiavillain: I came here to help you, Megamind.
You're caught in an upward spiral of goodness,
and I came to drag you back down to where you belong.
Where life is simpler,
and you don't have to think about things like rules
-or setting a good example for the kiddies. -Huh?
(snickering)
Get to the point, Machiavillain.
Machiavillain: I came to offer you a choice.
Return to villainy and be welcomed back with open arms,
or continue this heroic silliness
and face the ultimate challenge.
I choose heroic silliness!
Then know this.
What happens next is on you.
-(lights click) -(dramatic music playing)
And now, it's time
for evil's favorite game show...
Audience (on TV): "Who Wants To Save A City?"
(audience cheering)
The rules are simple. Megamind,
you have one hour to pass three heroic trials
hidden throughout the city.
For each, you'll be given only one clue to its location.
If you stop all three,
I will leave in peace!
If you lose, it will mean
utter destruction of Metro City.
(audience, Megamind gasp)
Are you ready to see how good of a hero
-you really are? -(applause)
-Ready, set, go! -(timer beeping)
Time's wasting, Sir!
**
Keiko, stay here. Machiavillain is
the most dangerous individual I've ever known.
Oh, yeah? Well, I owe that guy some payback.
-Payback? -I mean...
I just don't like bullies.
Sir, I think we need to tell Keiko
the truth about Machiavillain.
(sighs) You're right, Chum,
but I need to be the one to tell her.
-Promise me. -(sad music playing)
Why does everyone trust me with their secrets
when I hate keeping them?
Roxanne (on phone): You better have an amazing non-sleep-related excuse
-for not being here. -Roxanne,
I don't have time to apologize.
We're in the midst of a deadly game of cat and mouse!
-(sighs) -Ready for the first clue?
-(all scream) -(tires screech)
How on Earth did you hack my watch?!
Clue number one.
The world is your oyster,
but when is it in your living room?
Hm. Clock's ticking!
-Ciao! -(beep)
Ugh, first sports, now shellfish trivia?
He's hitting all my weak areas.
Keiko: The world is your oyster...
(gasps) The Oyster Nebula!
It's a space cloud, but also part of
the Metro Comet's route.
We learned about this in school.
Okay, but then where do living rooms come in?
Must be something everybody has in theirs.
Not alligator pits, not particle accelerators...
Wait! Televisions!
And the comet is being broadcast live from the observatory!
-Step on it, Chum! -You got it, Sir!
(car engine roaring)
**
-Hm. Nothing looks to be amiss, Sir. -(birds chirping)
Megamind: That's what worries me.
Keiko, you're with me.
(soft music playing)
So, this Machiavillain guy.
Uh, yes. He taught me everything I know about being evil.
But, I wanted to tell you...
Yeah, you told me already. But, I wanted to tell you--
But, did I tell you I had to defeat him
to become a supervillain?
Yes! You kicked his butt once, so you can do it again.
-But, I really-- -Actually, the truth is--
(whirring)
Does that guy seem a little off to you?
-(dramatic crescendo) -Almost as if he's...
Hypnotized!
-(Pierre laughing) -(dramatic music playing)
Bonjour, Monsieur Megamind!
Pierre Pressure!
I thought I smelled snails.
It's escargot.
I had them for lunch, and they were magnifique.
(kiss, laughter)
He must be planning to use the newsfeed.
With everyone at the plaza watching the ceremony,
he could hypnotize all of Metro City at once!
Ze poisson-companion is correct!
-(whirring) -Your show's about to be canceled.
Zat pea-shooter might work on one Pierre,
but what about...
Pierres: Multiple Pierres?
-(zapping) -(Pierres laughing)
Oldest villain trick in the book.
You zap the one in the middle!
-Piece of cake. -(laughing)
-(zapping) -Keiko: More like 100 cakes!
I can't find the middle if they don't stay still!
Sir, may I recommend
the De-Gun's new rapid-fire setting?
Right!
Ha, ha!
Take that! Whoa!
-(rapid gunfire) -(Pierres yelp)
(Megamind yelling)
-Look out! -Take cover!
-(both grunt) -(yelling continues)
-(zapping stops) -(Megamind sighs)
(groans)
What happened? Was I victorious?
Looks like you debilitated him, Sir!
Vive la France. (groans)
Keiko: Also looks like you debilitated the telescope.
-(rock music ringtone) -Ollo?
Don't "ollo" me.
First, you don't show up to the event,
and now, the comet feed is down,
which I'm assuming has something to do with you!
-(zap) -Oh, bravo!
Sorry, Roxie. Gotta take this.
Time for clue number two.
What a villain seeks to rule over all,
when it is lost, darkness will fall.
-Much success to you. -(beep)
He says that, but I'm not so sure he means it.
The first part of the clue is easy.
Villains always seek the same thing.
-Power. -A spa day!
I mean, power! You're probably right, Sir.
But, what kind of power could make darkness fall?
-Roxanne (on phone): It's the power station! -(all yell)
-You're still here? -Roxanne: Still here!
And who was that you were talking to?
Thanks for the help, Roxie. We'll explain later.
**
-Floor it, Chum! -(tires squeal)
(car engine roaring)
(tires squeal)
-Huh. Everything looks quiet here. -(wind blowing)
(thunder cracks)
Lady Doppler: Beware of a flash flood...
of lightning!
(zapping, whirring)
(yells)
(all yelp)
You're just in time to see me
destroy Metro City with its own power!
Keiko, you distract Doppler with some trash talking.
-I've got an idea. -(dramatic crescendo)
Hey, Doppler! You know there's no such thing
as a flash flood of lightning, right?
Well, if it isn't Megamind's kid sidekick.
Why don't you go back to the clubhouse?
Adults are talking.
Yet, I'm the only one not in a funny costume.
You're making me rethink my no-zapping-kids policy.
I've seen your aim. (laughs) I ain't sweatin'.
-Oh, you little... -(Chum grunting, struggling)
-Time for a fish-monkey fry. -(whirring, zapping)
-Thirsty? -(blast)
(grunts)
Water and electricity don't mix, do they?
-(whirring) -(groans)
-(yelling) -(zapping)
**
-Time to bolt! -Ah!
-(all panting) -(whirring)
(all scream)
I just wanna thank our sponsor for today's festivities.
-(glitching) -Mr. Minion's Meat-sicles.
-(whirring down) -(crowd gasps, murmurs)
Power's out across the city.
It's gonna be one of those crazy Metro City days, isn't it?
-(groaning) -(fizzling)
How's that for a flash flood?
Nice callback, Keiko.
(clanking)
Unfortunately, it looks like the city's entire power grid
is fried, Sir.
The good news is we're two for three.
Yes, it's been a lot easier than expected.
Which is not like Machiavillain at all.
(beeping)
Oh, what an inspirational testament
to the power of teamwork.
It's now time to play for the fate of the city!
Clue number three. You've done well and played like a whiz.
As for the last location, it's where your heart is.
I believe the old saying goes,
"Home is where the heart is."
He's going after the lair.
With the grid shut down, so is our security system!
(Behemoth growls, grunts)
Ugh!
The smell of goodness in here has to go.
Nighty-Knight: Ahem! Megamind's computer isn't going to work
with the city's power out.
The lair's emergency backup generators should be kicking in
in three, two, one.
(beep, whir)
Brainbot: Intruder alert. Intruder alert.
Intruder alert...
Nighty-Knight: Uh, sir?
Now, all that was once Megamind's belongs to me.
(laughing)
Brainbot: Intrud--
(Machiavillain laughs)
A much better color on you.
-(brainbots whir) -Fly, my pretties!
Go make some mischief.
-(maniacal laugh) -(dramatic crescendo)
-(people screaming) -(brainbots whir)
(siren blaring)
Chum: What's going on?
Machiavillain must now have access to the lair!
He's turned the brainbots against us!
Keiko: Not just us! They're committing crimes all over the city!
-(people screaming) -We've got to shut them down fast!
Sir, the brainbots are controlled
by the lair's transmitter antenna.
If we can knock it out...
It'll turn off all the brainbots at once!
-(rustling) -(sighs) Why are there so many menus in here? Ah!
-Found it! -The remote to the laser satellite!
Brilliant, Sir!
The satellite fires with pinpoint accuracy.
I should be able to take out the antenna
-while leaving the rest of the lair intact. -(beep)
-Machiavillain: Well, Megamind. -(all scream)
Thank you for playing,
but I'm afraid you've lost the game.
Au contraire, mon frere.
You see, I've learned a few new things since Villainy Shool.
-The bad guys always lose. -(beep)
-(dramatic music playing) -(satellite clicking)
(laser whirring)
(blast)
-We did it! -(Keiko and Chum cheer)
(Machiavillain laughs)
Oh, Megamind.
While you were distracted with the brainbots,
I reprogrammed your targeting system!
-(whirring, zap) -Instead of destroying the transmitter,
your laser knocked the comet off course,
causing it to head straight towards
-Metro City! -(dramatic crescendo)
Everyone, remain calm!
Megamind will know what to do!
I have no idea what to do!
I'm sure all hope isn't lost, Sir.
Oh, really? Did you not notice
the giant comet about to obliterate the city?
It just seemed like something I should say right now.
I mean, look at that thing.
-(rumbling) -It's huge.
It's a hero problem way above my power grade.
Oh, Machiavillain played me like a blue fiddle.
No! He can't win!
Can't you just beat him like you did last time?
**
Time to tell her the whole story, Sir.
I...
I never intentionally defeated Machiavillain.
-What do you mean? -When I was a student,
I accidentally left the gamma chamber on
while heating a burrito.
I came back from an errand
to find Machiavillain's entire fortress burned to ashes.
I'm not proud of it,
but I took credit for destroying my master.
And on that lie, I went from being an ordinary villain
to a super one.
There's gotta be something you haven't thought of yet.
Can't we just use the satellite
to re-divert the comet away from the city?
It takes too long to warm up between shots.
What about the De-Gun?
It's not powerful enough. I'd have to, I don't know,
run it through the cold fusion generator
of the Invisible Car or something,
but that's still a long shot.
A long shot is still a chance!
**
(crowd murmuring)
-(car honking) -(crowd cheering)
-(tires squeal) -Crowd: Megamind! Megamind!
We're here to save the day,
but we're going to need everyone's help.
Let's move like we have a porpoise, people.
(rock music playing)
(click, whirring)
(click, whir)
Crowd: Megamind! Megamind!
-He's gonna do it! -You can do it!
Kick that flying rock's butt!
Hey, comet!
-(whirring up) -This one's for the dinosaurs.
Ah!
(grunts)
(zooming)
(blast)
(hopeful crescendo)
-(crowd gasps, murmurs) -(dramatic music playing)
You have a plan B, right?
That was B through Z.
-(sad music playing) -I'm sorry. I failed, Roxanne.
(fiery rumbling)
(confused murmuring)
Since this is the end,
there's something I regret never telling you.
What is it?
You are...
Machiavillain: Fear not, citizens!
-(confused gasps) -Machiavillain is here!
(dramatic music playing)
(beep, whirring)
My binky?
One moment while I take care of this small problem of yours.
(blast)
-(whirring) -Ah-ha!
(zapping)
(rumbling)
(cracking)
(whirring)
-(both gasp) -(zap)
(explosion)
(stones clatter)
Citizens! From this day forward,
you will fear no more!
-(excited chatter) -Metro City's true hero has arrived.
-(crowd cheering) -Finally, a real hero to save us!
(sad music playing)
(panting) Oh, Sir.
We've been looking all over the city for you!
(sighs) I'm just admiring the symbolism.
It's my own fault,
thinking for a moment I was smart enough to beat him.
Actually, it's my fault.
Oh, that's nice of you to say, but--
No, it's literally my fault!
That's what I've been trying to tell you!
I gave Machiavillain your binky.
**
Why would you do that, Keiko?
When you wouldn't train me, I wanted to prove myself.
I pretended to join the Doom Syndicate
to find out what they were planning.
Machiavillain tricked me into stealing it.
The binky is the last thing I have from my home world.
It's a source of unlimited power
that I don't even totally understand.
I wouldn't blame you if you never wanted to see me again.
I'm nothin' but trouble.
-(sniffling) -(sad music playing)
Megamind: That's the last thing I want.
Machiavillain tricked us both.
Besides, I've always had a soft spot for trouble.
(sentimental music playing)
(bike horn ringtone)
Oh. A press conference just started.
Machiavillain (on video): I regret to inform everyone
that it was Megamind who is responsible
for this near catastrophe.
(crowd gasps)
Yes, it appears that he's returned to his old evil ways.
-(beep) -Behold!
-(zapping) -First, he neutralized the observatory,
which would have acted as an early warning system.
-(static) -Then, he destroyed the power grid
to disable any emergency response.
-(static) -Next, he unleashed his brainbots upon the city,
giving him just the distraction he needed to use
his own satellite to divert the comet
-right toward Metro City. -(rumbling)
Oh, it's all lies! All of it!
Machiavillain's specialty.
(scared crowd chatter)
Now, now. I know how shocking this must be.
It's never easy to see someone so noble fall from grace.
Perhaps our courageous mayor
will have comforting words for us all.
Though I question with my whole heart these accusations,
the evidence is overwhelming.
I have no choice but to declare Megamind
public enemy number one.
(crowd gasps)
-(dramatic music playing) -(clang)
(whirring down)
It's over. Machiavillain's won.
Not quite yet, Ol' Chum.
(beeping)
We still have one card left to play.
**
We have to find...
-Metro Man. -(dramatic crescendo)
(dramatic music playing)
**