(neon buzzing)
-(line straining) -(grunting)
-Huh? -Hello.
(screams)
(theme song playing)
* Supervillain, ahead of his time *
* Incredibly handsome genius, criminal mastermind *
* But now he's all cleaned up and fighting crime *
* A superhero that you stream online *
* It's Megamind *
* Oh, it feels good to be good this time *
* It's Megamind *
* Oh, it's Megamind *
* Rules! *
-(dramatic music playing) -Officer (on radio): All cars.
-Megamind has been spotted in Little Delaware. -(siren wailing)
(thunk)
-(falling) -(Megamind screaming)
(triumphant music playing)
I have returned safely!
So, you got the donuts, Sir?
Sadly, only mine survived whole.
Chum, yours must have evaporated. (burps)
You sure no one saw you come in? Mom's open-minded,
but she's very anti torch-wielding villagers.
Relax, Keiko. I'm a master fugitive.
No living human can track me.
-(dramatic sting) -Ah! They tracked me! Burn the house!
-(mysterious music playing) -Saw you out there.
You couldn't draw more attention to yourself
if you had clown horns strapped to your feet.
Why do you look like an Italian Riviera heiress?
I'm trying to stay hidden, like you should be.
-(gulps) -Reminder, the city still thinks you're a villain.
We need to figure out a way to get Sir back out on the streets
-doing good! -It's Superhero 101.
Megamind needs an alter ego.
Yes! I would rock an alter ego!
Of course, without the disguise generator,
we'd have to go a little more practical.
Oh! My mom still has wigs and stuff
from her old college theater days.
Not to brag, but I'm a bit of a wiz
in the makeup department.
Imagine me secretly walking amongst the normal masses.
On the surface, appearing painfully ordinary.
I could even have one of those things people do during the day.
What are they called? A jobe?
-You mean a job. -Right!
Something that allows me to keep an ear to the street,
where I can learn what problems plague the hopeless citizens.
Something connected to everything in the city!
(triumphant crescendo)
Ah, too bad no such place exists.
Welcome to Everything City!
Glad to have you on the team.
Uh, Michael Mind.
It's pronounced Michael Mynd, like a gust of wind.
Not mind as in Megamind.
We're two completely different people!
(aggressive laughter)
(store chatter)
Say, didn't you used to be mayor?
Yeah. Feels like a lifetime ago, you know?
I really, uh, I've just sort of been in the process
of really kind of trying to find myself, you know?
-Like really take a peek inside-- -Ooh!
Who's that?
My competition for greatest employee of all time?
Oh, that's Dan Donner,
the best nighttime inventory stocker we have.
Or had. Funny story, actually.
-(mysterious music playing) -Dan vanished right around the time I took over.
And then, the strangest thing happened.
All his replacements ran away one by one,
just screaming in terror.
Terror? Screaming? Running away?
-Sounds like a job for... -(dramatic crescendo)
...not me. Because I'm certainly not into
stopping crime and solving mysteries like this.
(mysterious crescendo)
-(Jody screams) -(Megamind screams)
Who ate my yogurt?!
Anywho, you'll be taking Dan's job.
-(elevator music playing) -And this is our pet department.
-(animal screeching) -Oh, uh, hey, uh, put that down!
Whatever it is, it probably bites!
voice: Psst!
-(mysterious music playing) -Hissing fish? That's new.
Chum: Over here, Sir!
-Chum? -Not exactly.
Call me Jasper Finnegan, fish-for-sale!
I figured I needed an alter ego, too,
if I'm going to assist you in undercover crime fighting.
(sarcastic): Yes.
Please, help me catch all of the criminal pets
rampaging Metrocity.
Pets might not commit crimes,
but they witness them all the time.
They just couldn't report them, until now.
It's a pet translator!
-(bubbling) -(beeping)
Oh, my! (giggles)
She said she likes my eyes.
The iguana across the aisle
told me something strange is going on at night.
Already on the case, Chum.
Missing employee, people running in terror.
Turns out this job is even more dangerous
than we anticipated.
Might need you to cobble up me a gadget.
Jody: Michael, I need you!
Ugh. The Man is calling.
Always bringing me down.
Mom, can I get a fish?
(bubbles)
Mom: Oh. Uh, let's find one less sleepy.
Oh, I don't envy the sap who has to stack these boxes.
-That would be you. -(crowd gasps)
-(excited chatter) -It's really him!
Hello, my adoring sycophants!
I've come to deliver more merchandise to your store.
All signed by me for you.
Because my only weakness is how much you all love me.
-We do love you. -It's true.
Do be careful with that box, my dear boy.
Mr. Machiavillain, this is Michael Mynd.
-He'll be putting your product on the shelves. -Enchanté...
What was it? Michael Mind?
Mynd. Michael Mynd.
Uh, right. Sorry.
I-It sounds so similar to my old acquaintance Megamind.
Can you imagine what it must be like
to actually be Megamind?
Such a sad little man.
Could you imagine, Michael Mynd?
Well, I have to be going.
Adieu! Tata! All the goodbyes dripping with exotica.
Roxie: Excuse me, uh, Mr. Mynd.
And what can I do for you, customer?
How are today's "savings"?
I'm in the midst of cracking open a case...
of toilet paper!
Wait, huh?
Roxie, I found that accordion polish I've been--
-Wha... -(romantic music playing)
Hi! I'm, uh... What's my name?
Christina.
Right! Me Christina.
You pretty?
Michael Mynd.
Such a unique name!
I'd say your alter ego is working perfectly.
Action Figure: You love me!
(shudders) Worthless junk.
At least your junk was quality, Sir.
Where did he have these things made?
-Cutting Corners Depot? -(cracking)
Ah!
(crackling)
Well, we're closing up, Michael. Oh, I forgot to mention.
Things have been... disappearing from the store overnight.
Theft! The plot thickens!
I mean, I'm glad we don't sell live chickens.
But we do! This is Everything City.
Well, have a good night.
And if you do run away in terror,
please remember to punch out.
(chicken clucking)
Nothing to be scared of, right?
(loud clicking)
Okay, that was before it went dark.
(eerie music playing)
(strange sounds)
What IS that?
-(boxes rattling, growling) -(gasps) Somebody there?
-(snarling, scratching) -(gasps)
-(growling) -(gasps)
(snarls)
(gasps)
(low growl)
**
-(gasps) -(skittering)
-(snarls) -(gasps)
I'm chasing you despite my terror!
Chum, what can your fish friends
tell us about this scratching and skittering?
-(bubbling) -(beep)
Hm. They say there's a big mouse problem.
With all the cheese in this place,
that's hardly suspicious.
By the way, here's that gadget you asked for, Sir.
Best I could do on short notice,
-but it should pack a surprising punch. -(whirring)
-(bubbling) -What'd she say?
-(bubbling) -(beeping)
Little embarrassing, but Bertha wants to know if I'm single.
-She's quite the looker, huh? -(bubbling)
(eerie music playing)
(skittering, chirping)
I've got you now.
-Prepare to be obliterated! -(whirring)
(bloop)
Who does he think I'm trying to catch? Tinker Bell?
(sighs) Maybe there's a setting for grownups.
(screaming)
(purr, hiss)
-(mysterious music playing) -(low growl)
-How did... Who are... -(snarling, roaring)
What are...
(dramatic music playing)
-(yelping, panting) -(clicks gun)
(gun whirring)
-(growling) -(gasps)
-(snarls) -Wha?!
(hissing)
What the...
-(grunting) -(water dripping)
What now?!
First, a frightening thief creature,
and now bad plumbing?
-(screams) -(dramatic music playing)
-Hello! -(video game dripping)
-Keiko? What are you doing here? -Eh, playing "Farm Lord."
There's a leak in my cabbage silo.
Oh, those games are terribly addictive.
I would never touch them. I am laser-focused on--
-(beep) -Game Character: Yeehaw!
Oh! Did you just get some kind of bonus points there?
Can I see? Can I see? Let me see!
Anyway, I'm here to help you solve stuff, like always.
Mom's cool with me being out late,
-so long as you're here, too. -Well, I'm fairly confident
this store has some sort of thief, or mice,
or possibly a ghost with unresolved issues
and can't move on yet.
Whatever it is, it ran into there.
Oh, maybe we can lay a trap.
We'll wait for whatever it is to come back around and kachunk!
-You're trapped! -Yes! Something elaborate.
-Undetectable! -(dramatic crescendo)
(curious music playing)
Are you sure this is the best trap we can come up with?
I found items that no thief, mouse, or ghost could resist.
Keiko: Explain how the photo works again?
Ghosts are always longing for something old
that reminds them of their sad life.
-(squeak, growl) -(both gasp)
-What is that?
-(growling, sniffing) -Megamind: It's getting closer.
Closer...
I think it's about to--
Keiko: Ah! Mouse monster!
-(screams) -(snarls)
-(dramatic sting) -Keiko!
-(upbeat music playing) -I'd definitely pick
a pond wedding over a bowl wedding.
-(bubbling) -Oh, stop it!
-You'd look good in a tux! -Megamind: Chum!
He-- She-- It took Keiko!
-Who took her? -The mouse monster.
At least, that's what she screamed.
I'm sure she's here somewhere.
It's a pretty big store, Sir. And the savings?
I mean, believe me, I shop around.
-She was taken! We have to do something! -(Chum wailing)
-Okay, okay! Very sorry, Sir. -(dramatic sting)
(bubbling)
No, no, no, don't say that, Bertha.
He's actually quite brilliant.
Megamind: I'm telling you, it had a tail,
and it compacted its body to fit through the smallest hole.
Chum: I'm sure there's a rational explanation for all this.
(squeaking roar)
Ah! It's a monster!
Oh, what if it needs to feed on my blood?
-Or even worse, your blood! -(dramatic sting)
Not helping!
Oh, there's so much I haven't done!
I've never even had ice cream cake.
I thought you were lactose intolerant.
That's why I've never had it!
-(video game beep) -(yelps)
-(video game music playing) -Hear that?
It's that shamefully addicting game on Keiko's phone.
-Chum: Ah. Mystery solved. She's in the ceiling. -(game quacking)
I guess we can go now!
Don't worry, Chum. I'll go up.
-Game Character: Yeehaw! -Your cowardice is actually making me feel
quite brave in comparison.
-(door creaks) -(curious music playing)
Ollo?
(water dripping, video game sounds)
-Keiko... mouse monster... -(growling)
**
(yelping, grunting)
-(yelps) -(boxes smashing)
Ah! I don't know who you are
or whose blood you feed on...
-(snarling) -but it better not be Keiko's.
(low growl)
I mean you no harm.
I'm just here to retrieve my child servant!
Wait, that sounded terrible.
I'm here to get my friend!
(snarling, growling)
(nervous laugh) This tension is really unnecessary.
Could you maybe walk faster?
-(grunts) -(bloop)
(yelps, groans)
-(click) -Aha!
-Gotcha! Oh... -(gasps)
A thief mouse ghost combination.
-(gun whirring) -Game's up, criminal freak!
Freak, yes.
But I'm no criminal.
-Agree to disagree. Ah! -(video game beep)
-(video game music playing) -Sorry, I should've introduced you guys,
but I was, like, three corn points away
from finally fixing the silo.
This is Michael Mynd, personal friend of mine.
This is Dan Donner. He's not a monster,
just a little protective of Everything City.
Dan Donner?
You're the employee of the month that vanished!
(ominous voice) Guilty...
of, of being me.
Not anything evil or criminal.
(mystical sting)
Prepare yourself for a story
unlike anything you've ever heard.
I was a scientist,
using mice to find the cure for fear,
-until-- -Ooh! I know this one!
There was an accident in your lab that resulted in you
taking on the features and abilities of mice.
-Yeah, but-- -Oh, oh! Let me guess! Speed! Uh, no.
The ability to squeeze through small holes!
-Oh! Oh! And tail whip action! -That, too, but--
And I'll bet the transformation occurs
-whenever he feels fear. -Chum: After the accident,
did you drift from town to town doing odd jobs,
but whenever you were at risk of being found out,
had to run away for a fresh start? Did ya? Did ya?
That's... surprisingly accurate.
-(sympathetic music playing) -Anyway, Dan Donner is no more.
I now go by Hu-Mouse,
part human, part mouse.
We might wanna workshop that name. (awkward laugh)
No time. Looks like the freak's been discovered again.
So, I gotta drift.
Wait! Hu-Mouse! We want to help you!
(action music playing)
(squeaking)
(chewing)
(dramatic crescendo)
(spits, groans) I hate that I can't resist cheese
when I'm stuck as this freak!
It's so cliché.
(chewing)
Told you that trap would work.
You're not a freak.
In fact, you have the origin story of a superhero.
You could be a defender of Metro City!
You'd make a great hero.
Again, after coming up with a better name.
I'm not the type Metro City looks for in a hero.
-Because of Machiavillain? -Yeah.
That so-called hero turned this place
into a total fire hazard
with his cheap merch. Look at this.
-(whoosh) -(dramatic sting)
(hissing)
Now, I'm in a constant state of fear
because I know people will get hurt, and voilà!
I'm stuck as this monster!
So, I've been trying to clean up this mess
one box at a time.
But that's your problem now.
(dramatic music playing)
(gasps)
(hissing)
Those will have to be paid for.
You, sir, are the opposite of a monster.
It's time for you to leave the shadows.
I should know.
I've been hiding too long myself.
I am Megamind, defender of Metrocity!
Wait. You're the guy who tried to destroy the city?
What is it with heroes in this town?
I was framed! But, I promise you,
when this door opens,
people will see you for what you are.
A true hero.
I... like that.
-I'm worried though. -Worried?
I'm a blue man from space with a watermelon for a head,
and they adored me
before they thought I tried to kill them all.
They'll love you!
Actually, as it's human nature to fear the unknown,
maybe we should ease him into--
I'll do it!
(shopping carts rattle)
-(indistinct PA announcement) -(store chatter)
Shoppers of Everything City!
I have an announcement.
This town has a new--
It's an unknown thing!
-(scary music playing) -(screaming, panicked chatter)
Megamind: No, no, no! Wait! He isn't dangerous!
Okay, I may have been wrong about their reaction-- (gasps)
-(dramatic music playing) -Customer 1: He tried to kidnap Michael Mynd!
Customer 2: That thing is up in the ceiling!
Customer 3: He's been stealing from the store!
You found the thief! Great job.
-Uh, well, actually- -Anyone who gets up there and captures
that hideous thing will receive a one-time 10% store discount.
Whoa, whoa!
He's not who you think he is.
-Let's get him! -Let's go get him!
It's unknown! It's dangerous! Aah!
-We gotta get him! -Get rid of him!
Ugh. Why'd you drag me here so early?
Well, I thought maybe Michael Mynd
stocked that accordion polish that I like,
-and you know how fast that stuff goes. -(scared chatter)
Hey! What's going on?
Customer: A mouse monster attacked
the nighttime inventory stock boy!
Both: Michael Mynd!
-We need weapons. -Look for anything to arm yourselves!
These figures are adorable.
-Aah! -There's no need for this!
-Hu-Mouse is a friendly, albeit hideous, creature. -(screaming)
You people are not listening! Stop!
(both yell)
-Michael! Are you alright? -(gasps)
-Let me check you for wounds! -(struggling)
Unhand me, uncivil servant! (grunts)
-What's happening? -We found a half-man, half-mouse in the attic,
and these people think he's a monster!
I mean, in their defense,
that does sound like a textbook monster.
They're wrong. He's a good guy.
He's over there!
(dramatic music playing)
-(yelling) -Which way did he go?
Guys, if you have to mob and riot,
let's keep it orderly, okay? The last thing we need is...
-Fire! -(screaming)
Oh no! My leg is stuck! (gasps) Someone, please do something!
-(fire crackling) -(both grunt)
No! Let me stay and help!
Now's not the time to risk your life publicly!
Save it for the next election!
I can't go out there showing blue skin!
That angry mob will eat me alive!
Someone help! I can't get Jody outta here,
and the smoke is getting worse!
(dramatic music playing)
Very well. If I have to be exposed,
I might as well be at my most me!
-(both struggling) -(fire roaring)
Save yourself, Keiko.
-I'm doomed. -(dramatic sting)
Megamind is hiding no more!
You! You did this, didn't you?
Oh, the city's greatest villain,
here to finish off poor old Jody Smelt.
-No! He's not a villain! -(gun clicks)
Just get it over with,
-you monster! -(bloop)
(zap)
(Megamind grunting)
Wait, are you saving me?
I know superstrength isn't my thing,
but what I wouldn't give
for some regular athleticism right now.
(explosion)
-(all screaming) -(dramatic music playing)
-(terrified chatter) -(fire crackling)
It's unknown. And dangerous. Aah!
-(screaming) -(grunts)
Hope you don't mind being saved by a freak.
-Nope! I'm open-minded! -Sounds good to me!
(rumbling)
(dramatic music playing)
-Save us! -Follow the mouse! He knows the way!
(grunting)
-(thud) -(gasps)
-Look out! -(explosion)
(panting)
-(both scream) -(thud)
-(heroic music playing) -Welcome to the club, fellow hero!
(explosion)
**
-You want some of this? -(whirs, bloops)
(explosion)
See? Video games do help with hand-eye coordination!
(dramatic music playing)
(crowd coughing)
(crowd chattering)
-We made it! -Call my wife!
-(grunts) -(distant sirens)
Megamind!
(gasping, grunts)
(gasps) Sweet milkcow's muscles, that was hard.
(gasping)
-It's Megamind! -Wait, what?
I... was wrong about you.
-(gentle music playing) -(applause)
-Love you, bro! -(crowd cheering)
-We love you, Megamind! -Whoo!
Wait! What about Michael Mynd? What happened to him?
And did he ask about me?
Michael Mynd is just fine.
He, uh, just had to run home real quick.
I know this because... we're really good friends.
Yes. We're basically besties.
You'll probably never see us at the same time, though.
-Try not to overthink it. -(door opens)
(panting) Sorry if I gave you a fright, Sir,
but I had to rescue Bertha. And her school.
-(kiss) -A kiss? For me?
Aw, shucks.
(crowd coughing)
(deep, scratchy voice) You're safe now. Go on.
(coughs) Go! Go!
-Look, the mouse guy saved everyone. -Thank you, mouse guy!
-(crowd cheering) -Let's hear it for the mouse guy!
-He's a hero! -(triumphant music playing)
(normal voice) I... I'm not afraid anymore.
It's employee of the month Dan Donner!
Everyone, I think I have done
a terrible job as manager of this store.
Dan Donner, I will recommend to corporate
-that you take over. -(sirens approach)
It would be an honor.
I love this store with all my heart.
-(crowd cheering) -(upbeat music playing)
We got a report that criminal fugitive Megamind
was spotted on the premises.
Anyone seen him?
-C-C-Can you describe him? -Mega-what-now?
-Whatcha talkin' about? -What's a Megamind, sir?
Excellent job, Sir.
It's too bad the whole city couldn't witness your heroics.
That's okay, Chum.
Metrocity will rediscover my heroic wonders,
one neighborhood at a time.
But right now, let Hu-Mouse have his day.
-(car whirring) -(bubbles)
Oh, can it, Bertha.
-(car engine roaring) -(crowd cheering)
(heroic sting)
* Packed to the gills with savings galore *
* Your head will spin when you open the door *
* Wanna see it all, prepare for frustration *
* We're larger than Rhode Island with twice the population *
* Everything City, where you feel like a king *
* If we don't have it... *
(extended jingle instrumental break)
* It's not a thing! *