(neon buzzing)
-(line straining) -(grunting)
-Huh? -Hello.
(screams)
(theme song playing)
* Supervillain, ahead of his time *
* Incredibly handsome genius, criminal mastermind *
* But now he's all cleaned up and fighting crime *
* A superhero that you stream online *
* It's Megamind *
* Oh, it feels good to be good this time *
* It's Megamind *
* Oh, it's Megamind *
* Rules! *
**
-(video game sounds, music) -I'll take three glazed, four chocolate sprinkled,
-and five cabbages. -Cabbages?
I sell bear claws, not coleslaws!
Oh, sorry. I'm a little distracted.
I'm trying to get enough corn points to spin the Yeehaw Wheel.
Oh, yeah. My kids love that farm game.
It's all they think about.
Like their brains have been rewired or something.
-(chicken clucking) -They can't even finish a sentence anymore!
Excuse me, I am an adult.
-(beeping) -I'm not anything like your--
-Game Character: Yeehaw! -Ooh! Corn points!
(rock music ringtone)
-Sir, incredible news! -(static)
(glitching) I know where Metro Man is.
Oh, we found him! Finally.
With Metro Man on our side,
not only will we have the brains, a la moi,
we'll have the brawn, a la him!
We can finally defeat Machiavillain!
Meet me in the alley behind Everything City.
I've formulated a plan that will allow us to--
-(resumes game) -Sounds good, Chum.
-(game music playing) -Mega! What about your donuts?
There's no time for donuts when a hero's called to action
and-- (gasps) Oh, no! Boll weevils got into my silo!
This is 10 times harder than real farming!
I gotta take my kids' phones away.
-(video game sounds continue) -(mysterious music playing)
Game Character: Tractor cannon upgrade!
Ah. Pickles and porcupines, I did it!
-(game clucking, mooing) -I'll become a farm lord in no time.
Chum? Where are you? You know I hate waiting.
You won't be waiting any longer.
You okay, Chum? Your voice sounds like
a squirrel got into a tiff with a beaver.
Well, you look like somebody put too much air in a mylar balloon!
-Huh? (yelping, groans) -(zapping)
(beeping)
(mysterious music playing)
Huh? What kind of trickery is this?
How and why am I back in my bed, in my lair?
Was Machiavillain's reign just a horrible dream?
(gasps) That means I'm still the hero of Metrocity!
-(celebratory music playing) -Yes! (laughs) Who's back?
I'm back! Yes!
What's this?
Did I go watch shopping in my sleep again?
This clashes terribly with my outfit!
(straining)
-(clanging) -Come on!
-(straining) Uh-oh! -(clattering)
(straining)
-Ah! -(crash, slam)
(sighs) Where did I leave my blowtorch?
Retrace your steps, Megamind.
When was the last time you blowtorched?
Or is it blewtorched?
(sighs) Either way, the answer was years ago.
Get enough beauty rest?
(dramatic crescendo)
What in Mrs. Featherbottom's fanny pack is going on here?
Begone from my lair, Doom Goons! (gasps)
-Hello, old friend. -(whirring)
-And that takes care of-- -(beeping)
(buzzing)
-computer voice: Game over. -Huh?
(zap, beep)
-(mysterious music playing) -(confused grunting)
Oh, it was all a dream.
About waking up from a dream?
Has to be a dream.
I wouldn't wear this tacky thing in real life.
-(action music playing) -(struggling)
(strains, yelps)
-(music stops) -Gah. Nope! Oh, blowtorch.
When was the last time you blowtorched?
Or is it blewtorched?
-Get enough beauty rest? -(dramatic crescendo)
Déjà you! As I said before,
but with more em-pha-sis now,
what in Mrs. Featherbottom's fanny pack is going on?
Doom Syndicate: Huh?
I hate to cube and run, but...
(beeping)
-(buzzing) -computer voice: Game over.
What?
(zap, beep)
-(mysterious music playing) -Huh...
Is this a dream or...
am I in a game?
Everything restarts
whenever this gaudy wristwatch says game over.
What I'm doing is not working.
Maybe I need to try a different setting on the ol' De-Gun.
-(clicking) -De-Sintegrate!
Get enough beauty rest?
Aha!
-computer voice: Game over. -(groans)
(zap, beep)
Get enough beauty rest?
(grunts, yells)
-De-Coupage! -(sparkling)
-computer voice: Game over. -(action music playing)
Get enough beauty rest?
-De-Moralized! -(zap)
-(wailing, crying) -Nighty-Knight: Just when I thought
I couldn't be darker.
-computer voice: Game over. -Oh, come o--
-(zap, beep) -No!
If this is a game, I have no idea how to beat it.
I've used every De-Gun setting to attack the Doom Syndicate!
(sighs) I'm all out of options.
-(mysterious music playing) -Unless...
Get enough beauty rest?
Ollo!
Come on in, guys!
Doom Syndicate: Megamind!
-(laughter) -(sleeve beeps)
-(beeping) -computer voice: Po-Po-Po- Po-Po-Po-Po-Po-Po-Points!
Oh, look at that. I got points. I love points!
I was gonna zap you guys, but then I thought,
why not be a good host instead?
While you're at it, I could use a snack.
Nighty-Knight: Yeah. My stomach is as empty and dark as my soul.
What do you got to nosh?
-(gentle music playing) -Ah, let's see.
We got poppèd corn, icèd cream...
-(buzzing) -computer voice: Game over.
(zap, beep)
Nighty-Knight: What do you got to nosh?
-Uh, chips? Crackers? -(sleeve buzzing)
-(zap, beep) -Nighty-Knight: What do you got to nosh?
-A healthy salad, perchance? -(sleeve buzzing)
(zap, beep)
What in the factory settings is happening?!
Announcer (on TV): Who's gonna crawl to victory?
Who's gonna claw their way to the top?
-"Crab Cake Wars"! -(dramatic crescendo)
With special guest judge Greg McGrapple.
Wha?! Greg McGrapple is a judge this week?
Oh, he's the guy who yells at bad restaurants!
Greg McGrapple (on TV): You say guava, but all I taste is sheep pellets!
-(laughter) -Did I do something to offend your family,
-you malodorous yabo? -Classic McGrapple!
Where's Megamind?
He never misses "Crab Cake Wars."
Totally. I'll give him a call.
-(beep, buzzing) -Huh...
It's not going to voicemail. It's not even ringing.
-(beep) -Car tracker is off as well.
Sir could be lost. O-Or hurt. Or even worse,
lost and hurt at a jazz festival!
Focus, Chum. What we know for sure
was that he went out to get his, "I've got better things to do
than deal with my feelings" donuts.
Okay, so let's head to Mr. Donut and see
if we can get some info on where he might've gone after.
-Great idea! -Let's move!
McGrapple (on TV): Alright, you prats.
The least terrible crab caker is...
-Wanda. -I knew it!
(grunts) You show 'em, Wanda!
Oh, I could eat all that crab.
-(beep) -What do you got to nosh?
Just tell me what sounds good!
I'll make it! Anything!
-(buzzing) -computer voice: Game over.
(zap, beep)
(groans) Okay.
Not harming them works,
but being too good a host does not.
So, maybe...
Nighty-Knight: What do you got to nosh?
How about a steaming plate of creme de la nothing?
(sleeve beeps)
computer voice: Po-Po-Po-Po-Po-Po-Po-Points!
Ooh, I must be getting the hang of this!
Okay, okay, level with me, guys.
Is this a dream or a game?
Behemoth not at liberty to say.
Uh, let's go with game!
So, in this game, I'm not supposed to be a good host,
but rather a bad host?
Closer.
Uh, extremely rude?
Nighty-Knight: Think darker...
-A villain?! -(sleeve beeps)
computer voice: Po-Po-Po-Po-Po-Po-Po-Points!
That's it!
I'd bet a buck Machiavillain's behind this.
He trapped me in a simulation,
and the only way to make it through
is to think and act like a villain?
I can't tell you yes or no,
-but I can give you a little wink. -(ding)
I'll just pretend to be a villain again
and beat him at his own game!
-This'll be a breeze! -Pierre: Uh, by the way,
as we were coming in, I saw an elderly woman
struggling to carry groceries.
Oh, really? Well,
she should've thought of that before she purchased so much!
-(laughter) -(beep)
computer voice: Po-Po-Po-Po-Po-Po-Points!
That was horrifyingly satisfying!
Nighty-Knight: Welcome back to the diabolical dark side of evil,
-my brother. -(nervous laugh)
It's good to be here?
(echoing)
(weak mumbling)
It'll be really nice having you as a villain again.
Lobbing insults and just hanging out.
Keep your "hanging out" dreams to yourself and focus!
-(beep) -One quadrant of his brain has already turned red,
but we have more work to do.
With Megamind being rewarded
every time he makes an evil choice
and punished for choosing good--
Lady Doppler (on phone): His brain will be rewired...
to naturally choose villainy.
Machiavillain (on phone): Why would you interrupt me?!
Once all four quadrants of his brain are red,
his transformation to villainy
will be complete!
-(laughing) -(dramatic crescendo)
Such a brilliantly evil plan, sir.
Oh, it is brilliant, isn't it? (laughs)
(hangs up)
-(car whirring) -(dramatic crescendo)
Mr. Donut: I don't know, Chum.
After you sent Megamind that video message,
he bolted outta here without even taking his donuts!
I didn't send him a video message.
So, Megamind got a video message from a deep fake Chum!
Something definitely smells funny here.
It's not me this time. My bowl is fresh.
The secret is lemon juice.
And a sparkle of love.
(mystical music playing)
Well, he was definitely here.
An invisible car with visible car tracks.
Seems like a design flaw, though very helpful for us.
Chum, we're gonna need a map of the city.
Keiko, call every hospital to see if anyone's been admitted
with injuries from Invisible Car-shaped objects.
What? Is there something on my face?
-Leadership. And it looks good. -(gentle music playing)
-(typing) -Thanks, Keiko.
-(curious music playing) -(sleeve beeps)
Huh. Uh, "complete evil deeds to win points.
Miss an opportunity for evil, your game will be over."
Oh, kinda figured that out already, game sleeve.
Watch and learn.
**
-That'll be 12.89. -Not today!
(gasps) No name tag? I'll just call you Tommy.
It's Bernie.
Well, I'm not going to pay, Tommy,
because I'm Megamind, and I don't pay for things.
Toodles.
computer voice: Po-Po-Po-Po-Po-Po-Points!
Hahaha!
-Piece of cake. Huh? -(beeping)
computer voice: Game over.
-That can't be ri-- -(zap, beep)
Okay. No evil stone unturned.
Mixing up sizes to waste shoppers' time.
That's at least evil adjacent.
-computer voice: Points! -(laughs)
Later, Tommy Tommy Bo Bommy!
-computer voice: Points! -(beep)
-(buzzing) -Game over.
-What?! -(zap, beep)
(growls)
(grunting)
This is pretty evil, hey, guys?
computer voice: Points!
**
-Hello, customer! -computer voice: Points!
La la la la la! I can't hear you about paying!
-La la la la la! -computer voice: Points!
-(sleeve ringing) -Game over.
No! No game over!
(zap, beep)
I got it this time.
computer voice: Points!
Evil! Ah!
computer voice: Points!
(grunts) Evil!
-computer voice: Points! -(smack)
-Evil! -(smack, shopper grunts)
Oops! (laughs) More evil than I intended.
Not sorry, though! Too evil.
-(beep) -computer voice: Points!
It was a pleasure doing business with you, Tom!
-(sleeve ringing) -Oh, come on!
(zap, beep)
(groans) I'm doing everything evil!
I tied up the employees! I hurled tennis balls at people!
I definitely didn't pay for more kombucha
than I could possibly consume! What am I missing?
(curious music playing)
Take-a-penny, leave-a-penny?
Don't mind if I do!
(dramatic music playing)
You're only supposed to take one or two, you monster!
(sleeve beeps)
computer voice: Po-Po-Po-Po-Points!
-(beeping) -Evil deed complete.
-Yes! Yes! Woo-hoo! -(jingling)
-Look out, Metrocity-- Ow. -(pennies clatter)
Your favorite-- Ow. Blue villain--
Ah, that stings. Is back-- Ah!
I didn't think this one through! Ow!
But, it still feels good to be evil! (laughs)
-(dramatic music playing) -(soft evil laugh)
(beep)
Fabulous! We're halfway home.
By the time I'm done rewiring my blue puppy,
he won't think twice before making
the most villainous choice of them all.
His friends will be so disappointed in him.
-(laughs) -(dramatic crescendo)
Okay, I've marked the map with all the places
where people reported injuries and destruction.
-Now what? -(sighs) I hate to admit it,
but this map, it doesn't make sense.
It just feels like we're going in circles.
That's it! Look!
-We are going in circles! -Roxanne: You're right.
The car has been driving around the city in a big loop!
Keiko, you feel like running to the art supply store
and buying way too much glitter?
Now that you mention it,
I think I've felt like doing that my whole life.
-(action music playing) -(pipe clatters)
(Invisible Car rumbling by)
I think his friends are getting wise to us.
How much longer do I have to keep driving him in circles?
Machiavillain: Patience.
I think he's about to take things up a notch.
(metal music playing)
That fool Machiavillain actually thought this game
would trip me up.
From here on out,
no more game overs.
Time to villain up!
(maniacal laugh)
-So then, I told him I'd-- Ah! -Peek-a-boo,
-citizens of Metrocity! -(people screaming)
Oh, how I've missed you.
Your favorite supervillain is back,
and no one is coming to save you this time.
Stay tuned. Big surprises coming up!
(maniacal laughter)
-(tires squealing) -(siren blaring)
(laughs) I replaced the water with glue, baby!
-Glue! -(sleeve beeps)
-computer voice: Points! -Sweet!
-computer voice: Points! -Megamind: Sweet!
-Let's try... De-Lete. -(clicking)
(whirring)
-(zap) -Delete you!
(zap)
Delete you!
-(whirring) -And delete you!
(evil laugh)
De-Lightful! (laughs)
-(video game music playing) -computer voice: Points! Points!
Po-Po-Po-Po-Points!
-(beep) -Machiavillain: Three down, one to go!
-It's happening! (laughs) -(dramatic crescendo)
-(metal music playing) -Megamind!
Why are you stealing all my donuts?!
-Because I'm bad, baby. -(beep)
-(rapid beeping) -Ah!
(car alarm wailing)
computer voice: Achievement unlocked. Transpo upgrade!
(car rumbling)
-(tires squeal) -My Invisible Car!
Oh, there you are. Guess who's happy to see you?
It's me! I am! Mwah!
-(tires squeal) -(evil laughter)
(maniacal laugh)
-(beep) -It's done.
Now, for the final piece of my master plan.
Release him into the world.
He'll still think it's all a game.
Soon, he'll destroy everything he loves
and have no choice but to return to me!
-(dramatic music playing) -(clicking)
(beep)
Welcome back to the real world, Mega.
-(wires stretch, pop) -(laughs)
Not that you'll know the difference.
(car engine whirring)
-(woozy groan, yelps) -(beep)
Megamind: Still in the game.
Time to cause some good ol' fashioned
make-believe vehicular havoc, wristband.
-(tires squeal) -(crash)
computer voice: Points!
-(smash) -Points! Points! Points!
(laughing)
I love this game!
I'm not seeing anything.
Though I've never tried to see anything invisible before.
Be patient. According to our map,
he has to come this way.
-(tires squealing) -(car roaring, crashing)
Chum: Oh, he's coming!
(smashing)
(crashing)
Roxanne: On three!
One, two, three!
-Glitter bomb now! -(Keiko grunts)
(triumphant music playing)
-(tires squeal) -(car whirs down)
Do you even know how much an invisible car wash costs?
Where have you been?
Are you okay? What's going on?
You missed Wanda winning on "Crab Cake Wars"!
Ugh, Wanda.
Sir, we've been so worried!
Worried? I'm doing amazing!
Matter of fact, I'm more myself than ever!
-(beep) -computer voice: New mission.
"Destruction of Roxanne Ritchi, 1 billion points."
-(dramatic music playing) -And there you are.
I've hit the mother lode!
-Hey! What are you doing? -(both gasp)
-(beep) -computer voice: Roxanne successfully kidnapped.
This is a hilariously elaborate prank.
Right? Hello?
computer voice: Transpo upgrade.
-Brainbot surfing! -(brainbots beeping)
-Oh, this'll be an evil blast! -Seriously,
you're not evil again, right? Please tell me you're not.
Also, please tell me we're not getting on top of those things!
Sorry, virtual Roxie.
I'm totally evil, and I'm winning!
-Surf's up! (grunts) -(brainbots beeping)
(Roxanne screaming)
Come on, Megamind.
Let's go for a spin! (laughs)
-(brainbots beeping) -(video game music)
computer voice: Spin the wheel for bonus points!
You have no idea how long I've wanted
to spin a giant wheel for bonus points!
Funny, I always took you for a
pull-the-lever-for-bonus-points guy.
-Can you put me down now? -(Megamind laughing)
(tires squeal)
(gasps) It's gonna take us forever to get up there!
I can get us up there fast, but it might be a little scary.
Never thought there'd be a day
where I puke all over City Hall,
but alas, here we are.
See ya around!
(yelling)
Why do I get the feeling this has never been tested?
-(whirring) -Chum: (braces) Whoa!
(both screaming)
-(wheel clicking) -(both grunt)
(screaming)
Megamind! What are you doing? You're going to hurt Roxanne!
-(screaming continues) -Sir, I beg you, please stop!
Stop? I'm not starting over again!
I'll be able to upgrade my entire lair
with the points I get when I destroy Roxanne.
Roxanne: This is not a game! This is real life!
Very clever, simulation Roxie,
but I'm not falling for your trickery.
This is not a simulation.
You do this, and Roxanne will be gone forever!
Sir, please. This isn't who you are.
Please, just let me go!
Megamind: If you insist...
Billion points, here I come!
-Sir! Don't do this! -No, no!
-(beep) -(clicking)
(screaming)
-(slow-motion echoing scream) -(somber music playing)
(muffled slow-motion screaming)
Roxanne?
(beeping)
What?!
Roxanne!
(grunts)
-(grunts) -(wailing)
(heroic music playing)
-Grab on! (grunts) -(yelps)
(both grunt)
(Roxanne sighs)
I know, I know. I was heroic. Game over.
See you again when I replay this level.
What on earth is going on?!
That's what... I'm wondering, too.
I made a non-evil choice.
My game should be over.
(gasps) I'm not in the game anymore.
What have I done?!
You threw me off a building!
Please tell me almost killing you
is the only bad thing I did,
and there are no citizens glued to trees
and Mr. Donut's shop is not blown to rubble!
Everything is fine.
You can calm down. It's all okay now.
How is this possible?
It was working so well!
-(typing) -(beeping)
Fascinating.
I knew these two were close, but that?
That is love.
-And you know what love is? -(dramatic crescendo)
Emotional, romantic bond
forged in the fires of mutual admiration.
No, it's a weapon.
It's the most powerful weapon of them all!
Now, if you'll excuse me,
-I am going to wield it! -(dramatic sting)
So, you thought you were in a game,
and you'd get a billion points if you got rid of me.
But, even in a game...
I could never let anything bad happen to you.
You're my best friend,
and you're stuck with me forever.
(emotional music playing)
-(yelps) -(gasps)
-Megamind: Hey, put me down! -Hey, what's going on?
-It's Megamind! -Machiavillain: Don't worry, Metro citizens,
your hero's here!
I'll make sure you're safe
by putting this ragamuffin away where he belongs.
-(yelps) -Megamind!
-(dramatic music playing) -Oh no.
-(alarm blaring) -Guard: Prisoners! All of you!
-Get back to your cells! -(gates slamming)
(sighs)
-Game over. -(gate clangs)
(metal music playing)