Hey, Tyler!
Tyler, got your coffee.
-Hi, honey. -Good morning.
Oh, Tyler. Good morning.
-How's it going? -How are you?
-I'm doing dandy. You got me coffee. -You got your good stuff.
-Thank you. -Everything good?
-Yeah. I'll start getting ready. -All right.
Okay. I'm gonna leave you alone so you can kinda relax for a minute.
Okay.
I pulled some cards to see what today's reading's all about.
-Really? -Yeah.
-What do you think? -Want me to show you?
-Yes. -Come here.
Sorry.
So, I don't typically do tarot before readings,
but sometimes when I'm needing a little help, or I'm feeling tired,
it helps me clarify what I'm likely to pick up on.
The person that will come through is the Queen of Wands.
That means they have a dead mother.
Oh, wow.
The reference that comes through first to, like, children, kids,
so it would be a mother-daughter situation.
All this indicates that there was some degree of knowingness
leading up to the passing.
-Okay. -Not something that's shocking.
But Queen of Wands is the main emphasis here.
So my bet is…
…it's gonna be a reading for a mom who passed.
All right. Do we know what I'm wearing today?
-Yeah. Do you have on chonies? -"Chonies?"
Got on panties.
-Your brookies. In Dutch, it's "brookies." -My panties.
My lace panties.
All right, you gotta pay more to get this scene.
I'll be right back. I'm gonna change.
How much you wanna bet it'll be a mother?
-What are we gonna bet? -I don't know.
You'll go out to dinner with me?
-No. No, no. -In public?
No? We'll see.
I'm craving lobster.
-I'm concentrating. -I mean… Okay.
-Things coming through. -All right.
Got like a, uh…
-Tell me. -Something that you'd put on your shirt.
It's an old lady thing.
-A brooch. -A brooch of some sort, probably.
I feel very old and skinny.
There's a reference to a surgery.
And then that kinda sets the stage for a decline.
Hello.
-Hi! -Hi, Tyler.
-How's it goin'? -Good, thank you.
Oh! What a cutie.
-Yes. -How are you?
-I'm Tyler. It's lovely to meet you. -Adell. Nice to meet you too.
-This is Victor. -Hello, Victor. How are you doing?
Precious. All right.
-Got our little friend over here. Aw. -Yes, we do. Come on, bud.
So, basically, my job as a medium
is to communicate everything that comes through. I'm big on specifics,
details, information that there's no way I could know through other means.
I don't see dead people walking around or anything like that.
-That would be terrifying.
Sometimes people will come through
and have messages for someone living that you know also.
So just keeping your mind open, in the sense of anyone can come in.
-Okay. -So did you bring any objects today?
I did. Yes.
Amazing.
Okay.
Adell, Adell, Adell, Adell, Adell.
Okay. All right.
Adell, Adell, Adell, Adell.
Separate from these objects, I wanna talk about your family,
people you know. I have this old lady coming through…
…who I can tell lived to be very, very, very old.
When we talk about in grandparent level, grandma,
do you have any really old family members,
who lived to be really old, that would be female in the family?
I don't know what you consider really old.
-Um… -Yeah. Who is this person?
Weird. Wonder if this is related to the place we're at.
It's weird. This location has a very different feeling than your energy.
So, obviously, we're at a house.
Mm-hm.
Is this not your house?
-No. -It's not yours.
Yeah, 'cause I'm not…
-The energy of the house feels different. -Yeah.
This house belongs to a friend of mine, Michelle.
She has a very serene and calming backyard.
Got that.
Maybe this person isn't coming through for you.
Okay, gonna keep going. Um…
Okay. I have this reference to a bit of a premature passing
that I have to bring up, and this would be pertinent to a male.
So when someone passes, you know, 75 to 85.
That's age-appropriate. That's normal.
This guy that I'm having to talk about passed away earlier,
and he didn't get to see a full life.
-Is there a male connected to these? -Yes.
How old was he when he passed?
Two days from 15 years old.
Fifteen. He feels very glad that you showed up
because he's bringing up this feeling of relief, relief, relief.
Like, wanting to connect with you. He is bringing up a couple things.
Okay. Weird, Weird, Weird.
He keeps bringing up "one and only," "one and only."
Oh! I used to tell him that.
-Yeah. -He would leave a note for me.
Or I'd leave a note for him, like sticky notes?
They were his thing from…
-Yeah, I would sign "Love, One and Only." -Yeah.
He keeps showing me lot of references, like academics.
But like, he feels kind of very unlike the other kids.
He gives me, in all honesty, the feeling of almost being a brilliant mind.
Mm-hmm.
I feel like I'm already, kind of at a young age,
looking at, "Where am I gonna go?"
"What college am…" Like, very much a passion there.
-Yeah. -Makes sense?
It does. He actually came to me at the age of nine, and he was telling me,
"Mom, I'm gonna go to Yale."
-He was going to be an engineer. -Yeah.
-What was your son's name? -Tomari.
-Tomari Alijah.
Okay. I'm trying to get him to talk about what happened.
Okay, let me underscore that.
We'll see if this helps. Weird thing.
Okay. Um, were you away from him at the time that he passed?
-Yes. He was out of the country. -Okay.
Okay. Oh, out of… Oh! Got you. He was in a completely different--
Country.
Without giving too much away, was anyone around him at the time?
Yes.
The way this is coming through, the response from the people around him
felt kinda immature.
It's like how a child would respond to something bad happening.
The people around him, were they younger?
Yeah.
He's giving me this feeling of, like, scrambling.
So anytime I see scrambling, it usually indicates,
"I'm here," and then someone running, leaving,
don't wanna be where they're at. Do you know if anybody like fled?
-Yes. -'Cause I feel like I'm--
-Everybody. -Everybody? Gotcha.
-I'm so sorry. -Yeah.
In the way this comes through, this happens,
we don't know how to deal with it.
-Everyone's going different directions. -They left him until the next day.
Oh my God, the next day.
-Mm-hmm. -I'm so sorry.
Don't know why I feel like I can't catch my breath.
It feels… I don't know what this is.
It feels similar to when the wind gets knocked out of you.
But I can't…
Like, let air into my lungs and then release it.
Do you know if there were any breathing issues in his situation?
Yes.
I guess at this point, this might be a chance to tell me what happened.
He drowned.
-He drowned? -Yeah.
Yeah.
A field trip took a turn for the worse when a teenager actually died.
Tomari was on Cobb High School's annual trip to Belize.
The students had just landed.
Prior to going to the hotel, they stopped at the Sibun River.
Tomari was equipped with a GoPro,
which captured everything,
including his drowning.
I was told that nobody saw what happened to Tomari.
Yet on the camera,
I saw at least 15 people looking at him.
If you watch that video, it feels as though
you're looking through his eyes. He had it here,
and you can see every turn he made.
I saw him asking for help.
Like, calling out for help. Like, "Help!"
He literally touched someone twice, and they pushed his hand away.
Like, they pushed his hand.
All it took was an extension of someone's hand,
and they didn't do it.
Yeah, yeah.
And I'm thinking, no one said anything.
The kids that were around didn't tell the adults.
-Yeah. -But the adults didn't miss him.
That's another thing. They didn't realize he was missing,
so they went back to where they were staying
before they realized.
The way this was handled
made me feel like
my son's life wasn't valued.
Like, I just wanna say, "No, he really was something special."
"He may not have been to you, but…"
He meant the world… to…
He just…
He brings up, um, accountability,
and I… you know,
there's some greater accountability that should have been taken,
that just wasn't taken.
-And I don't think it's going to be taken. -Absolutely.
And that's kind of the frustrating thing. It's like, even beyond people's reactions,
it's bigger than just the people that were there that day.
It's so frustrating, and, um…
He's wanting you to know, he's not angry at the people who fled.
The people who didn't do anything, and should've.
-Right. -But…
he… doesn't want you to be angry.
He feels like you have a whole life ahead of you
and a lot of positive things to experience.
He just doesn't want his passing to define how we think of his life.
-All right. -You know.
He's okay, you know?
Well, that's good to know.
Before the reading,
I felt as though I was grasping or guessing
about what's going on with Tomari since his transition.
However, getting that affirmation is very comforting.
I definitely feel like I, I communicated with my son today.
I have something to tell you.
Then tell me.
That was really just a lot.
Okay.
I have to tell you. Do you know the owner of this house?
No, this is one of her friends.
Oh.
As I was connecting with that reading, I had another distinct impression
connected to the house coming through. Someone who lived to an old age
that was coming through in the car ride here.
The person who has this house, I'm convinced their mother has died.
Their mother was trying to come through right in front of that little shed there.
This lady will not leave me alone.
She's coming through. She has a very brief message,
but it's important.
Okay, Uh, Lisa,
ask the woman who owns this house to come outside right now, please.
And go towards the driveway. José, come with me.
Let's get these two cameras.
-We just asked the woman to come out. -Okay.
-She's gonna keep her mask on. -Okay, great.
So let's just keep a distance.
Yeah. Hi! How's it goin'?
I'm wonderful.
Good.
I so admire your work.
-I'm a real believer in all of this. -Thank you.
I was reading my client here, and as I was trying to connect with her people,
I had this lovely little lady comin' through for you.
It's the weirdest thing because she's so cute.
-She felt thin when she passed, old. -Yes.
-She wanted to connect with her daughter. -That's my mother.
She needed you to know. She put me right…
-See that shed over there? -Yes!
When I walked by there, she was--
She stood there and had her picture taken when she was here!
She was showing me costume jewelry.
I don't know if she loved costume jewelry,
but she was, like, fabulous, in the way it comes across.
She loved jewelry. You know, kinda funky, little bit cheap in some ways,
but she loved it. Yeah, you are just so spot on.
And she kept showing me all these Ms. Different--
I'm Michelle. Michael, Matthew, those are my two sons.
Gotcha. It was the funniest thing
'cause she was coming across so proud and beaming
about something that your son's done in a big way.
-Just so happy. -Oh my God!
And she also brought up this feeling of having to get a surgery
and a surgery kicking off a decline.
-Or a series of things. -Yes!
The surgery's a big thing because it's quite a surprise.
We had no choice. She would have passed without it.
We were hoping it would've helped her. It tailspinned into it within eight weeks.
Yeah, 'cause she put a lot of sense of peace around her passing.
It feels like that surgery was the catalyst.
-It did. That's what kicked in. -It all went downhill from there.
She was so cute and so lovely. She's absolutely with you. And she's okay.
-My God. -She's so cute.
-I want to take her home with me. -She is cute.
-Thank you so much! -I love it.
-Thank you! Bye! -Have a good day.
Hey, so I, I won the bet.
-You did? -The mother came through.
It wasn't for the client. It was her friend in the house.
-Oh my God. -All in a day's work.
-You owe me ten bucks. -Oh my goodness.
-All right, I'm ready. -Let's go.
I haven't seen my aunt and uncle for a while. I don't go to Hanford often.
It doesn't evoke very happy memories for me.
-Hopefully they have some answers. -Yeah.
Or at least can give their perspectives.
I'm going back because I wanna learn more about
what happened to my mom's family.
Like, obviously, this discovery with my mom,
finding out that Stella had obtained my mom somehow,
you know, at some point. I just don't understand why--
All I know is that she went away. She left and went to Louisiana.
And when she came back, she had Theresa.
-So we assumed that she had Theresa. -Yeah.
-And she was our sister. -Yeah.
Theresa took a test, and it came back
that Mom wasn't
her mom.
Pete and I were totally shocked, because, I mean,
you know, you grow up with this… She's my… you know,
she's our sister.
It's funny, because we're growing up as kids,
and Theresa's white.
That, you know, that never… that didn't cross my mind.
You know, Theresa was born. My mom was dating a white man,
and I was never suspecting anything because there was nothing to suspect.
She had a motive to take her. But what it was, she's never said.
And we didn't know.
And she never went to our school functions or any kind of things like that.
-Never took us to the dentist, doctors. -Anything.
You know, I protected Theresa 'cause that was my little sister.
And who protected you?
Felicia.
Yeah, Felicia, uh…
Felicia, she, uh, she protected me.
I mean, she was there. I, I think if Felicia wasn't there,
I wouldn't be here.
I know with everything you've gone through,
I just… been filling the blanks, when I get a better understanding of,
what the one moment was that changed your life?
I think it's when I…
I think when I went to jail.
I had kind of, like, I had everything going for me.
I wanted to be a police officer.
And my first year, I was giving out tickets,
and I was working, uh, football games.
I loved it. I… I was only 18 for a couple months
before my mother, you know, took what I wanted,
what I had in my future, away from me.
My dream was to become a cop and just have a family…
…and just retire and enjoy…
…enjoy your grandkids.
It might be healing for Peter to go to the motel.
I hope that it might help him get a little bit more closure.
Might bring up some new things through new eyes.
I always wondered what it would be like to come to this place.
This is where the crime happened.
I'm really nervous.
This one place changed my entire family forever.
It created a ripple effect that went through generations.
People knew who my grandmother was, and I was made fun of for it.
People said, "Oh, your grandma's the murderer."
Um…
A lot of horrible things.
This is definitely the place.
So growing up, I would always have nightmares of this single-story building,
hearing these horrible noises coming from another room.
It's all very, very traumatizing as a kid.
And as I'm looking at the motel, it looks like the nightmares I had.
I'm getting increasingly lightheaded.
If it's this intense for me, I can only imagine how it is for Peter.
-Man. -Wow.
Wow.
It's right here. Yeah. This is where it all happened.
Wow.
I'm home sleeping, and I get… my mom calls me.
And she tells me, you know, if you could come to Fowler,
where my mother worked.
Tells me she wanted to show me somethin'.
-And-- -That's how she broke it to you?
-"I need to show you somethin'?" -Yeah, like it was nothing.
Jesus.
And right next to the office, uh,
she showed me John and Judy's bodies.
So, you got two bodies tied up in this little tiny room.
I saw the, the, the, uh…
the blood from the head, you know, from the… right here,
and I, I see, you know, their face.
Her story was that there were four Mexicans.
They killed John and Judy.
And if I go to the police, uh, they're gonna kill me
and, you know, the family.
And then me and my mom, you know, we dragged… We dragged the bodies,
you know, back there, one at a time.
I think my mother's plan was to kill the owners
and, uh, start running the hotel.
In many ways, yeah, there were two victims,
but in a greater sense, you were also a victim in this.
I trusted her. You obey your parents.
You know, I mean, that's in the Bible. I mean, and that's all I knew.
And I took for face value that, hey, my family's in trouble.
And, uh, look, I would do what I have to do to protect my family.
Is there anything you wish you could have… told them?
Is there anything that comes to mind?
Yeah, I would really tell John and Judy that I'm really sorry,
you know, what happened to them because they didn't deserve this.
-I got out ahead because I'm still alive. -Yeah.
-Poor John and Judy didn't have a choice. -Yeah.
But since, you know, you connect with the other side,
do you feel anything?
Maybe, you know, John, Judy energy.
You know, really more just cold, in all honesty.
It's freezing. But, yeah.
I always wondered what it would be like to come to this place,
and I don't think those poor people who died here
are lingering here or stuck here.
They're far away.
I'm relieved I'm not getting impressions.
I wouldn't even know what to do if I got them.
Would I share them or hold on to them?
It would just further complicate matters.
In this case, I just prefer to observe.
That was just, like, so surreal for me to hear for the first time.
I mean, this is something that had always been a story in my family,
but not something I'd ever heard Peter say or describe.
-Oh, you know it. -Yeah, you know what?
This place almost always had, like, a mythical quality.
The way that I envisioned it, it was like a… monster.
I had a lot of shame,
and I know my mom had a lot of shame about what transpired here, but…
where I'm standing now, I let it go.
And I hope this is a step in Peter being able to let it go.
And my mom,
and all the generations of people who are affected by what happened here.
Ugh.
Man, I feel like I stirred things up inside me that I'm gonna have to like…
I should probably see a therapist, but it's like, all very… heavy.
I have to go home, look my mom in the eye,
and I just wanna burst into tears, crying for her.
I just, uh… it's a lot to process.
-How's it going? -My goodness. Look at you.
-Give me a hug. -Oh, I'm so proud of you, Tyler.
I just feel deep sadness for everybody involved.
But for my mom, who I think of all of them has processed things the least.
-Anyway, I'm sorry. -Yeah, I know.
Anyways, today had to be a really heavy day for you.
There are still secrets to this day,
things that my mom has said on her deathbed she'll tell me.
And I can't imagine what those things are,
hearing what I just heard today from her siblings.
He had to be under so much stress. Imagine being eighteen-years old,
and thinking your life is gonna go one way.
Not only did he not have any parental guidance…
-Mm-hmm. -…Stella put him in such danger.
There was all this neglect in every way that you can imagine,
and then we never had food in our house.
We never had food, and I can't even figure that out.
Kyle always had a job. So he was a piece of shit,
but he always had a job. Sometimes two.
Yeah.
The man I thought was my father,
oddly enough, we have the same big brown eyes.
People would always say, "You look just like your dad."
And, I mean, I heard that over and over. So, I really thought I was his daughter,
and he hurt all of us.
I have "Obsessed" by Mariah Carey stuck in my head,
and she has such an annoying voice to me,
but yet, I listen to her music.
-I don't know what's going on there. -You don't like…
She's like, will make all the china break.
I don't know. She has me. It's because I'm gay.
I think gay men are destined to like Mariah Carey.
-Because it's in our makeup. -Really?
The hormones that make you gay in the womb, I think she's responsible.
-It gets dispersed around Christmastime. -Oh.
I just love it out here. This is just so therapeutic.
Like, I could just sit out here-- What?
-Are you freaking kidding me? -What?
-Hello. -Oh, yeah.
-Wow. -How's it goin'?
- Good. Nice to meet you. -Lovely to meet you.
-Nice to meet you. -Wonderful to meet you.
-Thank you for having me today. -This is crazy.
I'm interested to hear a little bit about
what's going on.
I've actually kept this secret for a little over a year.
-Aw. Amazing.
And it's not been easy.
Yeah. Were you expecting this today?
-Not at all. I had no-- -So this is a surprise.
-Yeah. Big time. -Yes.
Amazing. Well, I'm glad to be here.
-Thank you. -Of course.
I'm gonna take a minute with myself. I'm gonna meditate.
And we're gonna see what comes in. Okay.
Hmm-hmm-hmm.
Hmm.
There's this individual that I'm interested in
that isn't striking me as bio-family.
This is somebody who is not biologically related to us,
I have to bring up as being significant.
This person clearly gives me this feeling of being on the same level.
And so anytime I get that, it's always…
when it is family, it's brother, cousin, that kinda thing.
If it's not family, it can sometimes be partner, friend, that kind of thing,
and it seemed significant just from even the second I sat down, but then…
It's kind of interesting.
Premature. I have this premature passing coming through.
Premature always refers to someone who died before they were able to get old.
Like, I'm here, and then I'm gone. It feels very fast.
So I wouldn't pin it as something like an illness,
something that we had preparedness for.
Do you have somebody who passed away kind of prematurely?
I have someone that was a partner that
passed away premature.
Okay. Uh, in life, you know, people go through a lot of different things.
And at the time that this individual passed,
it almost felt like things were coming together in a big way,
finally, and I hear "finally."
So that's kind of the weird thing with this.
Uh, without giving much away, can you explain just a little bit there?
I feel very much like I'm wandering.
Uh, I was in the Marine Corps, stationed Camp Lejeune,
living in, um, coastal Wilmington, North Carolina.
-Carolina. -And I met this person.
And we hit it off.
I'm gonna look at my notes from earlier 'cause I had on the way here…
I'll show you if I have it. It was a reference to "Caro"…
Do you see that right there? "Carolina"?
So it's interesting you said there's a "Carolina."
Yeah, that's where we met. That's where we lived.
Well, we're gonna keep going. There's more to this.
What was his first name?
His first name is Jamie.
-But he went by his middle name. -Okay.
His middle name is Duwyann.
I was about to ask you if somebody went by "J."
But I felt that'd be wrong. Then I was writing "J-A,"
like this kinda "J-A-M" thing right here. That's why I felt confused.
Everyone has a communication style on the other side.
Some are easy to pin down, and others are trickier.
So we're gonna keep going.
There's this whole thing that keeps coming through when he's coming in
about not wanting to traumatize the people around him
when he passed.
Coming through strong. Give me one sec. Something with this.
It's like, "I don't want…"
You know when people will have a last memory,
and it's burned into their mind,
where it's all they think about when they think about them.
He's giving me a feeling of, "No, I was so much more than that."
The bond, the love. It's like, I don't want all this time that was shared
to be defined by this single, horrible, mental image,
is the only way that I can describe it when it comes through. Um…
I have to go a little deeper here, as painful as this is.
Rupturing, rupturing, rupturing.
Um…
I was getting this earlier, and this is hard to articulate.
But do you know if anything ruptured?
Um…
Yeah, so…
it was my birthday.
Um, we went to lay by the pool at the apartment complex
that I just… we just moved into. Um…
He was getting some sun, you know, laying on the beach chair.
He was like, "Sounds like something's coming to get me."
It was like, "What?"
And we laughed, and I laid down next to him.
A gust of wind blew by,
and the beach umbrella, the spokes,
it fell on both of us
and pierced him through his head.
And it went through the…
the softest part, from what I've been told.
-Yeah. -The softest part of your brain.
I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry.
And he died the next day.
I'm so sorry. That really is a freak accident.
-My heart hurts for you. I'm so sorry. -Yeah.
And this pains me to have to, like, talk about.
I'm sorry that you had to witness or go through this experience,
'cause there's this aspect here that feels…
like, my emotions.
And they know this rarely happens. My emotions are getting in the way here.
Phew!
This is one of those ones where I wanna talk to you again
because I don't feel like I've got it all out today.
You and I are gonna talk again. I'm gonna make it happen.
Can I give you a hug?
Aw.
This was a hard one today. This was a hard one.
I was not able to, um…
connect to the depth that I'm normally able to
because my own emotions were kind of pushing to the surface.
This one, I don't know if it's because it was the gay aspect,
being able to relate to that intimately. When I read people who've lost children,
that's tragic, but I can't relate to that.
With this, I was thinking about Clint the entire time.
And I just thought, like, what he had to go through.
And I can't imagine losing someone that you love so much like that,
and it just really got to me. So,
I just, uh…
Yeah, that was hard.
Hey!
Hey, how's it goin'?
- Good. How are you? -Good. Are you free?
Yeah, just sitting here.
Oh, nice. Hey, I just wanted to call you and tell you I love you.
I, I just got out of a reading with a man whose partner died in a freak accident.
And I was crying through the whole thing, and I never cry during readings.
And they were, like, sitting out by a pool.
His partner said, "I think something's coming to get me."
And, he was like, "What? What do you mean?"
And then, suddenly a gust of wind came and blew the umbrella that was over them
down onto him and the pole the umbrella was attached to
went through the guy's skull and out the back of his head.
And he watched the whole thing happen.
And this was in 2008, so they weren't able to get married.
They were… he was in his late 20s,
and I, like, the whole time, I was just crying thinking about
how you just never know, you know, like,
and, uh, it really, like, affected me emotionally.
So I know it's a very weird call again, and I'm sorry, but I love you.
And I had to tell you that, and I can't wait to see you,
and you're the best, and yeah.
All right. Will do. I love you. I'll talk to you soon.
-Talk later. -All right. Bye.
-I'm glad I'm with you today. -I'm glad I'm with you.
I'm glad we have a minute to catch our breath before we start traveling.
I know. It's nice to go to one of our favorite places.
Yep.
Ready to do this?
My calves are ready. You've seen 'em.
Capricorn is made for the mountains.
-Goat legs. -Got my goat legs.
-Watch out for that rock. -That'd be dramatic.
-Get on this ridge here. -Oh, yeah, copy that.
Can you imagine? My ass just died falling off a mountain.
"He never saw that coming."
I don't think we could've picked a better day.
I know. It's so beautiful, you know?
"Is he gonna propose?"
-"Is that why he brought me here?" -"Gonna propose?"
-Want a flash mob. -A flash mob.
We've discussed this. That'd be the worst way to propose.
It's like, in a restaurant is number one.
Flash mob would be close to number two.
-I don't think I'll ask you. -No.
-I'm just expecting you to ask me. -Okay.
But no pressure.
When would you like that to happen?
-I mean, no pressure.
How… when you close your eyes, you envision the love of your life?
On a horse? I don't know why.
But what do you envision me… Do I, like, get on the knee?
-That whole thing? -Yeah, no.
No? What's it called when you get married spontaneously?
-You have a shotgun wedding. It's called… -I know what you're talking about.
Uh…
Spirits, help me out here. Elope. We're gonna elope.
-Elopement. Yeah. -That's right.
When I was 27 years old, my life changed forever.
I lost someone very close to me.
And I want to find out what happened.
I want answers.
I want justice
before my mom passes away without any answers.
I want justice for my family.
I want to know who killed my brother.
Hello! I'm Tyler. It's lovely to meet you.
-It's so good to meet you. -So good to meet you.
-What a beautiful place too! -It's beautiful.
I did not mean to start crying right away.
That's okay, darlin'. It's all good. I'm happy to be here.
I just can't believe that this is happening.
Yeah. I'm looking forward to it.
As we go through this process today, anybody can come through.
Okay.
Hopefully, we'll connect with who you hope to hear from.
-Hopefully. -Had a lot coming through.
So we'll talk about that as well.
-Really helpful. -Gosh.
-You know I work with objects. -Yes.
-Do you have any objects? -I do. I do.
-It's kind of big. -That's okay. Yeah, absolutely.
Not a problem.
-Before we start, what's your first name? -Tamara.
Okay. That's all I need. Tamara, Tamara, Tamara.
Just give me something to focus on.
Okay, so I'm just gonna hold that.
I want to start with the guy coming in.
Before I got here, I was picking up on this male contemporary.
And anytime "contemporary" comes through,
it refers to somebody who kind of passed away prematurely,
somebody who should've lived longer.
There was a reference, but he was coming through with this older guy
that I felt I had to highlight as well.
They're coming through together.
So this one guy would have passed away at a more age-appropriate age.
He's coming through with someone who passed away early.
They're connected to this object.
Um… It's really interesting.
A number of details come through. I'm gonna relay it as it comes in.
They keep having me put a big emphasis on everything that you've had to do alone,
like the weight of the world's on you
as far as having to handle things alone,
and they wanna let you know, you're not alone.
And they feel invested in your well-being,
wanting to make sure you're okay.
I wanna figure out… usually when people come through together,
they have an association with each other.
So I don't know why, but we're gonna look into this
and kind of see, and give me one sec.
I have our younger guy who passed away prematurely,
I have this older guy coming through with him.
So I don't know if he had a father figure,
what the deal is, but they're a package deal.
When they're coming through, they have me highlight being together.
-So that seems very important…
…and it's all good.
I'm trying to separate these two, but they keep coming through together.
It's all good. I'm gonna figure out who this other guy is.
-Do you know if he lost a father figure-- -Dad.
Oh. Gotcha. Okay, one sibling
and then Dad, and that's kind of my area.
Now were those who you were hoping to hear from today?
-Yes. -Okay.
They have me bring up my symbol for "goodbye,"
but then they bring up not being able to get a goodbye that we deserve.
Do you know of any situations where we weren't able to say goodbye?
-He wasn't able to talk. -Gotcha.
It's bringing me into my…
I'm trying to figure out what happened to the poor guy. He's showing me that
multiple parts of the body started failing.
My dad passed away October of 2019.
What did he pass away of, technically?
-You told me what he passed away from. -Yeah.
You're spot on. His organs failed.
My dad was, uh… He hit the bottle pretty hard.
Gotcha. He also brought up that there was a conversation
that was had in his room
um, that seems a little sensitive to have in front of somebody.
-I don't know what it is. Do you have a-- -That was what happened.
My aunt, we wanted to start discussing extending his life
or taking him off of life support.
My aunt was the one that said, "Let's not talk in front of your dad."
-Exactly. -"He can still hear us."
And we went out of the room to have that conversation.
-And he knew this. -Wow.
And he could hear, and he knew, and he was okay with this.
But that gave him the chance to know, "Okay, it's time for me to go."
And it gave him a sense of peace. He wasn't liking being in his body.
I spoke to him about it the night before, and just was with him.
Although he couldn't move, he didn't have any reflexes,
you know, a tear kind of, you know, dropped down his face.
And, I, I always thought, "Was that you trying to communicate,
'Don't do this'?"
"Or, were you trying to communicate that 'I'm okay with this.'"
Yeah.
And I really appreciate you telling me that--
-It was the right choice. It was. -It was the right choice.
Yeah. So, like whereas Dad
gives me this feeling of, like, it's never a good time for someone to pass.
-But there is acceptance there. -Sure.
With brother, this feels kinda like, "Bam. This just got put on us."
-Yes -Is the way that I'd describe it.
So there is that aspect. Um…
He is having me talk about… He's letting me in a little bit.
Very strong guy.
When he comes across, um, he just feels very, very protective.
-Like, "I gotta protect myself." -Yes. Yes.
That said, I think he has a little bit
of regret of some of the situations he put himself in.
And when he comes through, he's acknowledging this feeling, like, uh,
"That was kind of dumb, who I was hanging around with."
It's this thing. He's bringing up the people around him.
And I think he knew better, and it's a frustrating thing,
'cause I feel like on some level, I know in my soul,
like, this is not a good situation,
but I don't know how I can get out of it, and it's kind of an interesting thing.
Oh man.
He wasn't supposed to be there.
It's a weird thing to say,
but there's an aspect here of, "Wasn't supposed to be there."
"Wasn't supposed to be there."
I don't know why that's coming through so strongly.
-He wanted to protect us. -Yeah.
He did not want us to know anything that was going on.
I believe it.
When people said, "What happened?" I honestly didn't know.
I didn't know what to tell them. I didn't know
certain set groups of people that he was hanging out with.
Exactly. And that's what's coming through with this.
If he could do it over again, he would've been a lot more open,
a lot more transparent.
Fuck. Sorry.
I just have to get it exactly as I receive it.
There's a reference, when he's talking about his passing,
of this time that elapsed
between whatever happened, and when he actually died.
So I have to make this clear. He's not showing an instantaneous passing.
This seems like whatever happened, happened pretty suddenly,
but I'm not saying instantaneous.
There's an aspect here that comes through of, like,
oh God, I hate to say this, but timing.
When something happens to someone, time is of the essence.
We wanna call the police, we wanna call 9-1-1,
we wanna make sure they can get medical care.
There's something about this being delayed,
and I don't know why.
But there's something about this of, like, a delay in finding out.
A delay in getting medical attention.
Like, somebody could have acted faster and didn't,
and I'm certain of this. So I know it may not click,
but I just keep getting this of, like, time was of the essence.
Does that make sense?
Aw. It's okay.
I could have done something. I could have done something.
My brother went missing August 19th, 1999.
My brother was killed by being shot in the head.
He was missing.
-I should've reacted quicker. -That's normal. That's normal reaction.
At the time, that my brother, um… that we knew that he was missing.
You know, my mom, like, "I haven't heard from him."
And, in my mind, I'm like, "Yeah, he's okay."
You know, "Nothing's gonna happen to him. He's fine."
Well, then the…
missing posters started going up.
I'm still in Georgia at the time because I don't want to believe this.
I don't want to deal with this.
So I have a tremendous amount of guilt, um…
around the fact that I should have hopped on the next plane
and been to Milwaukee.
A, to be with my mom to comfort her.
B, to at least help, you know.
I kind of knew what happened leading up to it a little bit,
from talking to different people, and I maybe could have done something.
Yeah.
I regret not being part of a search group
that I should have been the person in the front.
Okay.
One thing that comes through is he's bringing up
where he passed versus where he was found.
It happening, and then being moved in some capacity.
Are you aware of this?
It's just spot on.
-Yeah. -He was… killed and dumped.
Yeah.
In two separate places.
Two separate places. And he knew
that there was no way out of the situation.
Yeah?
Did something come to mind?
It almost seems like he…
knew that he was gonna die that day.
Mm-hmm.