Well...
here we are.
You weren't kidding about it being isolated, geeze.
Right? I told you.
It's really out there.
What was that?
It's nothing. It's--
Just the wind.
Oh.
Okay.
Huh.
It's like that out here.
You start to hear things, and...
see stuff that
isn't really there.
Yeah, it's-- I could have sworn I heard something.
I'm pretty sure you didn't.
No, you're probably right.
No, I know I'm right.
Okay.
I guess you're used to it, living this far out of town,
but I'm not like a country guy.
You don't like it.
The silence.
The dark.
No, it's-- I like it.
I mean, it's nice. I mean, I like it--
Moon is beautiful and all that.
Definitely see more stars than you do living in the city,
that's for sure, but overall, I'm more of a...
I like being surrounded by brick and concrete.
Just feel safer than living out here.
I know that sounds weird, but it's true.
Um...
Do you want me to walk you to the door?
I'm happy to.
Oh yeah! Sure, if you want to.
I was just,
you know,
taking it in.
What's that?
The night.
Oh!
Yeah. Good. Let's--
It's nice.
Sorry.
But I live here, so...
I can do that anytime.
That's true.
So yeah, let's go in.
In? Yeah, you sure? I mean...
I'm happy to, but I don't want to be...
- What? - No, no. I--
What I mean is...
It was cool to drive you home. Glad to do it.
But I don't need to go in
if it's late or you're... you know.
Well, it's...
not about need, right?
It's about...
want.
Right.
So you want me to?
Do you?
I do.
Okay then.
Great then. Alright, let's-- let's do it.
Let's.
Lead the way.
Oh, I have been. Ever since we met.
That's true.
That is very true.
You don't mind?
Hell no! Not at all.
It's very refreshing
in this day and age, to...
meet someone who's a little bit
whatever, forward, I guess?
Is that how I seem?
Forward to you? - No--
Not at all in a bad way.
I didn't mean that in a bad way.
I just mean, you don't seem, like,
put off by any of this.
This... what?
You know, the... come on.
No, say it.
Just, like, the game or whatever, the--
Is this a game to you?
Come on now,
you're putting words in my mouth.
You just said it.
Right, okay, so...
So, no. This isn't a game. I'm not playing with you.
Don't worry.
I just mean-- - I'm not worried.
Right, but...
but you brought it up, so.
I just...
asked a question, so.
Right, okay. Then no.
This isn't a game.
I'm not playing with you.
I just mean, what happened between us tonight.
The drinking and the banter, and...
just the way we responded to each other right away
without all the bullshit, and the office politics
that so often comes with it. - No, I get it.
- Right? - Yeah!
It's like-- we just--
It was so straight forward right away, right off the bat.
No, agreed.
- It was great. - Mhm.
Like, we both knew what we wanted.
We just got down to it.
Goddammit, you don't see too much
of that anymore in the world, with all the--
Yeah.
It's just-- Am I--
Am I making any sense at all?
Total sense.
Good.
I know exactly
what you mean.
Thank you.
Very refreshing.
My pleasure.
And hey, here we are.
Standing outside your...
castle.
- Yep.
Here we are.
I haven't... this is--
This is quite a place for a--
You live here?
I do.
It's--
What?
No, nothing. I'm just...
Just a massive property.
The house is like--
This is a family place, or...?
Stop me if I'm being too nosy.
Correct.
What? It's a family place or I'm being nosy?
No, you're not being too nosy.
And you can ask me anything you'd like.
Ah, cool. So...
It's been in my family for years.
Got it.
Okay, that's... I got it.
Why?
You don't think I could own a place like this
by myself?
I didn't say that.
- Yeah, but...
No, that's not what I--
No, no, go ahead. I'm curious.
Look, why don't we talk about this inside,
if we're going.
I'm getting a little...
You know.
Oh, I'm sorry. You must be cold.
A little bit, yeah. Are you not?
No, I...
I love the cold. I always have.
Yeah, you must. You're barely wearing anything.
I guess. You need a jacket on.
It's chilly.
Well...
let's get you inside.
Warm you up. - Okay.
After you.
Oh.
Oh, wow. This is beautiful.
Ah...
- Oh. - Oh.
Don't worry. The electricity goes out sometimes.
It isn't a problem.
Oh, okay.
Is that going to affect the heat as well, or...?
Only cause I pay utilities at my place.
It's a condo.
And um, so I switch something on, it comes on.
You know? Either that, or I
get right on the phone with my landlord,
and I start raising hell
right away.
No, it's a bit more rustic out here.
Yeah, of course.
But...
I could light us a fire.
Oh... fire.
No, it sounds great.
Nice, right?
Absolutely.
Perfect. - Okay. So...
Do you want me to get the--
Um, okay.
Oh.
Uh...
Hey.
Hello?
Everything alright?
I--
No, I guess it's...
it's the mirror.
I thought there was, um...
Nothing, just...
Seeing things already?
I mean, no. I...
Oh, I guess. Yeah. I guess I did.
There was--
It's funny, right? It was, like,
I swear there was some-- it was a mirror.
It happens. - Oh yeah?
- You too? - Sometimes.
I mean, the house is old, and dark,
and full of memories, so.
- Right. Yeah.
It is really cool.
Yeah. Oh!
That was fast.
Thank you.
Pleasure.
Ha-ha!
You say that like you actually mean it.
Pleasure.
I do.
Well, thanks then.
I always say what I mean.
Don't you?
Are we being recorded right now?
No.
Why? - No, I'm kidding.
I was like, making a joke about being...
I see.
Because if we were,
you'd have to lie about it.
Right?
I mean...
something like that, yeah.
So...
You are a liar then?
No! That's not...
Wait a minute, wait a minute. Um...
Liar is a little bit harsh maybe.
Maybe?
I'm a fibber, sometimes.
How did we get on this subject?
Does it make you uncomfortable?
I mean, kinda.
Not a lot, it's not
my favorite subject.
Understood.
Yeah.
Little white lies.
Fibs. Just leaving stuff out on occasion.
That's the kind of thing I'm talking about.
I'm definitely not what you would call a liar.
Cross my heart. Hope to die.
I get it. I understand.
- Yeah? - I do.
Okay.
You're not gonna
throw me back out into the cold,
now that you know the ugly truth?
I think I can handle it.
I won't lie to you.
I promise.
Not tonight anyway.
Wanna sit on the couch, or...
on the floor by the fire?
You decide. If you want.
No pressure.
We can sit.
Cool, okay.
There.
Cool.
This is so nice.
Do you want a drink?
Absolutely.
Perfect.
- Uh... - What would you like?
What do you have?
Most anything.
- Yeah? - Mhm.
Oh, alright then. How 'bout a...
Maker's Mark, neat.
That I can do.
- Yeah. - Mhm.
You want some help?
No, no, I can get it.
You stay warm.
- You sure. - Mhm.
Yeah, absolutely.
Okay.
That's not-- - It's no trouble.
- If you don't mind. - More than that.
I insist.
Okay. Then you... go for it.
Wait, wait. Sorry, I--
I'm just trying to get a handle on this place,
so forgive me, but um...
Is this like a summer house, or a...?
Do you guys...?
I don't get it.
Mm... my family's very...
We have several of these -
what would you call them?
Estates?
Scattered around throughout the country, and...
Um...
I'm at this one
right now,
living here.
Does that make sense?
Not exactly. Not to my...
lower-middle class,
public school upbringing, but um,
I, overall, get what you mean. Yeah.
You're--
You're rich.
That's pretty subjective.
- True, but... - But,
yeah, okay. I'm rich,
or my family is, anyway, so.
I'm in line to be rich,
or whatever?
You get what I'm saying?
Yeah, I do.
Absolutely, yeah.
Drinks.
- Yes. - Okay.
- Neat. - Please.
Oh my God...
Holy shit.
Several.
Oh my God.
Shit.
Hey man! What's up?
Um...
Yes!
Yeah, I did.
I did too.
Uh, I'm with her now actually.
No, I'm not fucking lying.
No, I'm not making it up. Fuck you.
No, no, no...
she asked me.
Yes, that's what I'm saying.
She asked me. That's how--
Yeah. Unreal.
I know!
Shut up, I know!
What? Wait, wait, say it again?
Shit! Sorry, you're cutting out.
I'm in the middle of fucking nowhere.
Well,
I don't know what to tell you, man.
Uh, you know, you should have gone after her first.
Whatever goes to the...
bold, or however that stupid saying goes.
What I mean is, here I am,
and there you are, still at the bar,
and I'm about to get a drink brought to me
by this beautiful girl
in this beautiful, old house,
and later, if I'm lucky,
and I think I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna get my brains fucked out
on a beautiful, old couch
in front of a roaring--
Hello?
No, sorry. No, I... you-- Sorry.
I thought she came back into the room.
Um, nothing. I gotta go, anyway.
Yeah.
Okay, we'll discuss at lunch, or whatever.
You know so.
We always do! Yes!
Yeah.
I'll give you the play by play. Of course.
Yeah, yeah, duh.
I've got eyes, my friend.
She's so fucking hot.
Oh, and like,
weird and different, and...
I mean, not to rub it in, but you would--
Yeah, she's pretty incredible.
Me either. I can't wait.
Yeah. Well, anyway,
uh, you have fun.
I can't help it.
Oh shut up! You'd do the same thing to me,
if it was you.
Please! You would too.
Yeah, yeah.
No, I can't promise you... What?
Pictures? You want me to send you pictures?
No!
Don't be a dick. No!
Oh yeah, you want to come over here?
I bet you do.
Yeah, I don't even know the address,
even if I wanted to give it to you,
which I don't.
No, I'm a little bit, you know, hammered, and
she just gave me directions.
I drove. Yeah.
Anyway, I gotta go. She's gonna come back soon.
Yes, okay.
Yes.
Okay, yeah! I will, um...
I'll talk later. Yep.
Okay.
Oh, wait, wait, hold on! Guess what else!
She's also rich.
Yes!
Asshole.
Okay, bye.
Bye!
I'm not!
Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. Bye.
Yeah, I suppose.
Oh my God.
Oh, hey.
Great, thank you so much.
Pleasure.
Cheers. To us.
To us.
Mm... Whoa.
That's good.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
God, you are a great kisser.
Thank you.
So are you.
Thanks.
I was hoping you'd say that.
Even if it wasn't true.
I told you. I don't lie.
Oh yeah, that's right.
Alright, well, even better then.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Um...
Were you talking to someone earlier?
When I was out there making drinks?
No.
Really?
Oh no! I s-- um...
No, he-- I got a text earlier.
Yeah, cause you--
cell service is really bad here.
Um...
So that's all.
I just got a text from a friend of mine.
Oh.
So, I was just, you know.
I thought I heard your voice, so...
Oh no, I didn't finish,
so I read the text, and then I called him back.
- I see. - Yeah.
You're not married, are you?
No, no, it was just a friend.
A friend? Okay.
Yeah.
Seriously, no, it was.
It was a guy that I work with,
who happened to be at the bar, and um,
I told him that I left with you.
He was actually very jealous.
- Oh, okay. Good. - Yeah, he was pissed.
Yeah, no. He texted me,
and I gave him a quick call, just to let him know that I--
I wasn't going back there tonight.
Cause he had noticed that I was gone,
and he just wanted to make sure everything was cool.
Ah.
- Yeah. - Did you
go there together, or...?
Oh, no, no, no, no. I just ran into him at the--
So, I let him know that I left,
and I was okay.
More than okay, so...
Yeah.
That's what you heard.
Okay, good. So I wasn't hearing things then.
No! Not at all. I did do that.
So...
You didn't really answer my question.
Did... that's--
Uh, what do you mean?
About being married.
That's because I was explaining the call.
Uh, the voice that you heard.
- Right. - That's why.
But that's done now though, so. - Mhm.
Can you answer me?
Um...
Are you married?
Yeah, I'm--
No, I'm not
married.
You're not?
I'm, uh... not at the moment.
Not at the moment.
That sounds weird.
I'm not lying.
I'm separated.
Separated?
Yeah, it's the-- it's the legal term.
Does your wife know?
Ha-ha.
Oh, very funny. Yeah, she's aware.
She's definitely aware.
Okay, got it.
It's like a legal separation. It's a real thing.
It's not just something I made up in my mind
for convenience sake, when I'm
out on the town, or something.
It's registered at the courthouse.
Lawyers involved and everything, so.
- Understood. - Yeah.
So this isn't...
We can do this.
What's that?
No, just like...
whatever this is.
Meet-up.
Have a drink.
Talk.
Fuck?
Fuck.
Yeah.
Uh, that too.
There's no law against it.
Well.
Not on the books anyway.
Maybe like moral ones, and that kind of thing, like,
would this be considered cheating?
Something like that.
Yeah, well, you know,
I try not to think too much about that kind of stuff.
The little shit, like, morality.
Well, that's good.
That makes this a whole lot easier then.
Hm.
What's the-- what's the this that you're referring to?
This.
Us.
Hm.
You picking me up.
Uh, technically, I think you picked me up.
Mm.
Did I?
I think so, yeah.
You asked me to give you a ride home, which is...
Well, that's true.
Before that, we were just sitting at the bar and chatting.
Hm. Yeah, I guess.
Right? I mean.
Not to split hairs, but.
Who talked to who first though?
Oh well...
That's really splitting hairs, if you're going to do that.
I'm just trying to keep it honest.
Come on.
- Ha! - You can do it.
Well, um...
I guess that would be me.
If you want to be completely technical about it, but.
I'm just establishing a timeline here, that's all.
Okay, so yes. Yes. I did approach you first,
and um...
Yes. You're right.
"Hey there", I think it was.
No, it wasn't really that line.
You be the judge.
Hey there. You don't know me, but...
I think you should, so.
Okay, yeah. Pretty lame.
I didn't mind it, actually.
Good.
I mean, I didn't love it, but.
Oh, come on. That shit is hard to do!
What? Hit on women?
Hey, be nice now.
I'm just asking a question.
Yes, that was lame.
Hey there, or whatever I said.
I own that, okay? But...
I wasn't there trying to, like, pick up girls, or whatever.
I was just...
Having some drinks, doing my thing,
and that was it, and then...
I saw you, and I was just...
Oh my God, I was just floored by you.
Seriously.
Just you.
Okay.
Fine.
That's fine.
You believe me?
I don't know.
Should I believe you?
Please, yes.
And
what do I get in return?
Uh, you choose. It's up to you.
Whatever you want.
How about...
another kiss?
Okay.
Mm.
Oh shit.
I'm sorry.
No, no, it's okay. You just nipped me.
Oh...
God.
Overeager.
Yeah, a little bit.
Forgive me.
No...
Not a problem.
At least you're into it, right?
Always.
Hm, you're so strong.
Not strong enough, I guess.
For?
For the likes of you.
Is that right?
Yeah.
A little bunny like you.
Is that what I am?
I think so.
I think you are.
You act all tough, but...
deep down, you're still just a bunny.
Maybe.
- You work out? - Yeah.
Well, sometimes.
Hmm...
You're keeping yourself young.
Yeah. Yeah.
Young, and...
looking good, as long as I can.
- You know... - What?
You could do anything you wanted to me.
Oh yeah?
And I couldn't stop you.
Is that right?
You know you could.
Suppose so, yeah.
No question.
You could do anything you wanted.
No one would ever know.
Guess so.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Of course you could...
have your way with me,
and then...
make me disappear.
If you wanted to.
Right off the face...
of the Earth.
Um... geeze.
You know what?
Shouldn't talk to people like that.
Seriously, you could end up getting yourself hurt.
I mean, not by me.
Fortunately, I'm...
one of the good guys.
Yeah.
God--
dammit, I...
can't quite get a handle on you yet.
Is that a good thing, or...?
Very.
Good...
Does it make me seem...
mysterious?
Incredibly.
I'm a little bit transfixed by you.
Truth be told.
Transfixed?
Excellent.
I've got you right
where I want you.
Jesus Christ.
Everything you say is so... - What?
I don't know. Loaded, or...
sexy.
Is that okay to say anymore?
Sexy, without...
setting the Women's Rights Movement back too far?
There's nothing wrong with sexy.
Okay, good.
And yes, I concur.
What?
I'm just being silly.
That's what doctors say when they agree with each other.
You know, "I concur."
Are you a doctor?
No, no. Far from it. I'm a...
I'm a business consultant
for a bunch of financial advisors.
Ah.
Yeah.
Sounds complicated.
Yeah, it is.
It's actually really boring, to be honest.
But pays well.
Money.
Exactly. Money.
The fuck is that?
Is somebody here?
Somebody is here.
What is that? What is that?
Is somebody here? - Not that I know of.
Not that I know of? That's--
Uh...
Maybe I should have asked you too.
Are you married?
Me?
Yeah, you.
Jesus, I don't even know your name.
It's Mina.
Okay, Mina.
Thanks for that, um...
What's yours?
I didn't tell you at the bar?
Thought I did. A couple times.
Mm-mm.
No, you didn't.
Really, you sure?
- Yeah. Pretty sure. - Huh.
Um, I'm--
I'm Hap.
Hap?
Yeah.
That must be short for something.
Eh... Happy.
- Really? - No, I'm kidding. It's, uh...
It's a family name. Hapgood.
Goes back hundreds of years on my dad's side.
Anglo-Saxon shit.
Huh.
I've known a Hapgood or two in my day.
Really?
Pretty rare.
Oh, I absolutely have.
Huh, that is--
Well, anyway...
Yeah, my name's Hapgood, so
I go by Hap.
It's nice to meet you, Hap.
Yeah.
Nice to meet you too, Mina.
Uh... you didn't answer my question.
Which one is that?
About being married.
I'm not married.
Okay, alright.
Not married, like I'm not married, or as in...
never been married?
Not even once.
Oh! Okay, good.
Oh my God, you know I--
I had this vision of some big dude rushing down the stairs
beating the shit out of me with a hammer.
All cause I drove you home.
- Jesus. - Well...
we did do a little bit more than that.
Right?
Uh, I mean yeah.
Came inside.
Be honest.
You know that's hard for me.
Oh right.
A fibber.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
We have done a little bit more than that, of course.
And...
you wanna do
even more.
Right?
Oh God, come on.
You're teasing me now.
- No, I'm not. - Yes, you are.
Fucking toying with me.
Oh well...
Maybe just a little.
Maybe just a lot.
Maybe.
Am I wrong?
I-- what, I mean we...
we talked and--
Hap?
Am I?
No, you're not wrong. You know you're not wrong.
Even if you are still married?
I'm separated.
Even
if
you had just thought
to drive me home
and drop me off.
Yeah.
Even if that was the original plan.
Mhm.
You still want more.
Right,
Hap?
What do you want me to say?
Just the truth.
Then,
yes. Yes, I do.
Yeah?
I know you do.
Hi there.
Oh my God! Jesus Christ!
Hey! Hi.
Sorry. - Lucy, hello.
Lucy? Who the fuck is Lucy?
I thought you said you lived alone.
I never said that.
Uh, yeah. I think that you did.
No, I didn't.
You sure about that?
I said I wasn't married.
- You said there was no one-- - I never said I lived alone.
Okay, well, um...
that must be my mistake then.
That's fine. I misunderstood.
Hey there. I'm so sorry.
Why?
Well, um...
because of what we were doing
just now, and because I--
I was under the impression that we were alone.
That Mina lived here by herself, so...
Yeah, that's-- that's why.
Because, you know, it's embarassing
to be doing that in front of her roommate, or...
friend, or whoever.
That's why.
I didn't realize you were here.
I was getting ready.
Ah, I see.
This is my sister, Lucy.
Oh! Sister.
Wow, okay. Hi.
Hello.
I heard you two come in,
I was upstairs in my room, so I--
Well, it doesn't matter.
No need to feel ashamed.
- No. - Oh, no. I'm--
I'm not ashamed.
I didn't say that. I said I was embarrased, and that's...
it's only because you startled us.
You know, that's all.
Honestly,
that's alright. Don't worry about it.
I can go back upstairs, if--
Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
That's okay. I--
I should get going because I'm tired,
and this is-- - No, no, no. Please, please.
Please stay for another drink.
No, that's alright. - Please?
I'll have one too.
If it will make you feel more comfortable.
Well...
no, I mean...
Really?
Uh, okay. I mean, if you guys--
if you want to.
Yeah, and then I'll
hit the road after that.
We insist.
We do.
Well-- Well, I can't resist a good insist.
Sorry, that was really stupid.
Yeah.
That was a little bit stupid.
Whoa.
My sister is even more honest than I am.
Wow, is that actually possible?
Same?
Please, yeah.
- Neat. - Neat, yeah.
I'm a-- I'm a creature of habit.
So are we.
I am so sorry about that.
Don't worry. It's no big deal.
It's not like I saw your cock, or anything.
Uh... yeah.
And how do you know Mina?
Oh! We, um...
we met tonight.
- Tonight? - Yeah.
Kind of a funny story, actually. We were, um...
both at the same place downtown, and
we had a few drinks, and--
Well, it's not funny. I don't know why I said funny.
Cause it's actually not funny at all.
I don't know why I said that.
Cause it's-- nothing funny about it.
That's what's funny.
Interesting.
Yeah.
How so?
No, nothing!
It's just-- it was my night to go out,
but apparently, that doesn't matter.
She's like that, my sister.
Impulsive.
Likes to dress up, and...
do her thing.
I'm sorry.
I don't understand. So you take turns going out?
No, nothing like that.
Turns.
No, it just usually works out that way.
Uh,
someone watches the house, and someone goes out.
It's no big deal. It's fine.
Oh, I see. Because of the lights going out and stuff?
Sorry to be nosy. Mina told me that you...
have a situation where the power's always going off?
I was thinking, you should get a generator for up here.
Seriously worth their weight in gold in the wintertime.
Not expensive.
That's a really good idea.
Yeah, I can't believe you don't have one actually.
This place is huge.
My parents had a cabin when I was growing up,
and my dad finally got a generator
because of all the power outages,
and it's the best thing he ever did in his life.
That sounds like an exaggeration,
but I mean that literally.
I know that's not a very nice thing to say, but...
it's true.
Not a great relationship with your father.
I'm guessing.
You know, fathers and sons.
How about you guys?
You two get along with your dad? You good?
Oh, very much.
We love our father.
Ah.
You're lucky.
That's nice.
Yeah.
And you're lucky too.
Why's that?
Hey, now we're all lucky.
I should go check on Mina.
She can be a little, you know,
ethereal.
Oh yeah, that's a good word for it.
Yeah, okay. I'll just--
just stay here.
Yeah. Relax and I'll be right back.
Can do.
See you in a minute.
Alright.
Sisters.
Fuck.
What the fuck?
Come on...
Hey!
Hello!
What the fuck?
Fuck!
Mina!
Hello!
Mina!
Hey!
Fuck.
Oh shit..
Hey!
Fuck.
Come on, you little--
Hey!
Fuck.
Help!
Goddammit! The fuck is this?
Hey!
Fuck.
Goddammit!
Hello?
Hey.
Mina!
Can you--
Hello?
The fuck?
Fuck!
Fuck.
Mina!
Hey!
Hello!
Fuck.
Hello?
Mina!
Hello?
Fuck.
Oh... Jesus.
Oh my God!
Fuck!
Oh my God!
Oh fuck!
Help!
Oh fuck!
Oh God!
Help!
Help me!
Help!
What the fuck?
Hey!
Hi.
Sorry.
Are you okay?
I thought we lost you there.
No...
I must have just nodded off.
Crazy dream.
Sorry, no, I'm good. I'm--
I'm fine, I guess.
Yeah, you sure?
You look kind of pale.
No, I was--
I had a long day at work.
Long day period.
Hoo!
Um...
Is Mina coming back soon, or...? - Yep!
She's just finishing up.
Should only be a few more minutes.
Okay.
I hate to trouble you.
I'm so sorry.
So tired.
Mm.
So Mina said that, uh...
you guys have, like,
a couple of these places scattered around?
Houses like this?
Oh, did she?
I think so... That's what she said.
Yeah.
I see.
I'm not asking for like addresses or anything, I'm just
trying to make conversation.
That's fine.
None of my business.
Well.
That's true.
Okay.
You are honest.
Did Mina show you the house?
Uh...
No, we saw the outside, and...
no, we just kinda came in here, I guess.
Huh. Typical.
Do you want to see more of the place?
Sure. Yeah.
Might wake me up a little bit, right?
Okay.
Nice house tour.
Cool.
Very nice, again. I love the sconces.
Hey, sorry. Sorry.
Can I just catch my breath for a second?
- Sure. - So embarrassing.
How many--
How many more floors we got?
Just one. - Okay.
Place is huge.
Man...
Tiring, and I work out.
It's like hiking Macchu Picchu.
It's only a little bit further.
Okay, no, no. I'm sorry.
I'm actually in better shape than this. I'm just--
You know when you're drinking? - Mm.
You reach a point where like you get all worked up,
and then you're doing certain things,
and then--
and then you, like, hit that lull.
Kinda like, "Ugh, I just wanna be somewhere."
But this is a huge house.
I can't believe
two beautiful ladies
live in here alone. It's a little weird.
And do-- you're not scared being out here by yourself?
As a man, I'd be afraid.
I wouldn't live here with my brother.
And he's-- he's actually a wrestler.
He studied jiu-jitsu wrestling.
I mean, he can take care of himself.
Yeah, I think we're pretty used to it by now though.
- Living out here? - Yeah.
I guess so, but that doesn't mean--
you got no like security system.
Nothing. It's crazy.
Hey, uh...
I don't know how to ask this
without sounding like I'm being too personal, but
she's cool, right?
Do you get a sense--
You know her, your sister. Do you feel like--
With me?
What do you think?
No, I think she likes you.
For real?
Yeah, looked like it to me.
Right, cause of the--
the thing in the thing.
Again, my apologies.
The moment took-- I truly didn't know you were here.
Yeah. It's no judgement. Really.
Well,
seems like there's a little bit
only cause you keep bringing it up.
- Let's go. - Let's go.
Let's finish this tour. I want to see it.
Final floor, you said.
And here
we
are!
Oh wow.
Fuck...
I-- everywhere you turn in this place.
And this is beautiful.
Wow.
It's amazing!
- Thank you. - Huh.
So what do you guys do for fun up here?
With the-- up at the manor?
- Just the usual. - What's that?
You know... Eat. Drink.
Sleep. Play games.
Gossip. - Ah.
Tell each other ghost stories.
Sound like a couple of kids at a sleepover.
Well, you asked.
No, no. That's great. It sounds like fun, actually.
- It is. - Yeah.
It's a lot of fun. We like it very much.
Yeah.
Do you know any?
Any... what's that?
Ghost stories?
Um...
- What? - Not really.
Not even one?
Um...
To me, ghost stories are like jokes, you know?
No.
Well, it's like... you gotta really
sell the shit out of them.
You know? It's like--
it's hard.
It's hard to tell a good joke or a limerick,
or a ghost story.
It's just what I think. You gotta kinda know it already.
- Well, that is-- that is true. - Yeah.
I mean, I could try.
I could try to come up with something in my head,
but no-- I don't know any real ones.
What about you?
Oh...
one or two.
I suppose, one-- one or two.
- Yeah? - Mhm.
That's cool. Tell one.
No, Mina's heard all mine before over and over, so.
Okay, well just tell me then.
Well, I wouldn't want to interrupt your date.
Oh, come on. No. It's--
It's not a date.
Honestly, it's not.
Yeah, we just got to talking, and
I offered her a ride home, and... you know, whatever.
It sort of looked like a date.
You know what I mean. I--
She invited me inside, we had a few drinks, and...
and...
Yeah, and...
that's what I'm talking about. The "and" part.
- Oh.
I don't want to ruin the moment.
Oh, you mean...
cause you-- the--
You-- You're not ruining anything.
I promise, okay? How's-- how's that?
And you-- I don't think you could, if you tried.
And that is meant to be a compliment.
It maybe sounded weird,
but I mean that as a compliment.
And that's not me trying to, like,
whatever.
I just mean...
You're very easy to talk to.
It's nice.
So don't worry about her.
Thank you.
Welcome.
That's...
I think you're a little drunk.
Oh, you think?
Okay...
No, no... maybe just a little.
Maybe?
Well... yeah.
Guilty.
And...
yet,
you decided to drive my sister home?
Yeah.
And I think that's against the law.
You know?
Guilty again?
Yeah. - Wow.
Oh! No, I wasn't that drunk when I--
No, but I wasn't drunk when I drove her.
I was like a little buzzed.
That's not against the law.
You sound like a very guilty man.
Um, no, no.
Are you?
Go on.
You can tell me.
I won't tell a soul, I promise.
I mean, I have my moments, I guess.
But I'm not like--
I don't let it bother me.
I don't sweat it.
I don't sweat that shit, you know?
I'm serious!
What?
You
have a way of making everything sound
slightly suggestive.
Huh.
Only slightly?
- You see? - Yeah. No, I'm kidding.
- That was a joke. - Yeah, but it's true.
Oh, well.
Guilty again.
You know exactly what I'm talking about.
Yeah! Uh...
That's also quite possibly true.
Mhm.
I didn't say it was a bad thing.
Okay, well, good.
Now we're getting somewhere.
Oh.
Did you cut your lip?
Oh, yeah--
Yeah. - I just noticed that.
Yeah, no, I um... we were--
No, I just cut-- I bit it earlier.
It's-- that's all.
- I see. - Mm.
What were-- what were we just talking about?
Guilt.
No, no...
Before that.
The thing about the lip, and then you--
Oh! Uh, ghost stories! Tell me a ghost story.
Oh... - Let's hear it!
- You were gonna tell me one. - Are you sure
you wanna hear a ghost story?
- Yes! - I mean, are you sure sure?
Jesus, what? You want me to beg?
Well, I wouldn't hate it.
Oh, Jesus.
You two.
Who?
You and your sister.
Well, what about us?
You're both like--
I don't know how to explain it. You're--
Eh-- you're great.
Way different than the girls in my office.
That's true.
Thank you very much, I think.
Oh, no, no. It's a good thing.
It's a compliment.
But not--
What is-- why am I the one giving you all the compliments?
Enough. I should get something in return.
Ghost story, go.
I don't know. Should we wait for Mina, or...?
Eh, Mina, schmina.
What? It's just her loss.
Plus you said she already knows all of them already.
Yeah, well, it's true.
- Okay. - I did say that.
So, yeah.
Alright.
Just one.
Yeah.
Yes please.
Fine.
Cause you said please.
- Once upon a-- - Am I interrupting?
God no. Of course not.
Welcome back.
No, we were just talking.
Hm. Oh, hello there.
- Thank you. - Sorry I took so long.
- I was just-- - No, no worries.
Lucy was just showing me the rest of the house,
- Oh. - and we were gonna do a--
started like a fun--
I was gonna tell him a story, that's all.
Yeah, but we don't have to. Now that you're back.
Fun. I love stories.
Go on.
Oh.
Okay, fine. Let's do it.
Okay.
Oh, should we--
I set things up in the other room--
the living room.
Wait.
What do you mean?
That wasn't the living room that we were in?
Oh no, no. That was one of the sitting rooms.
- Oh. - The library.
This place.
The living room is much nicer.
Much nicer.
Wow...
Cool.
Alright.
Should we go get comfortable, or...?
Absolutely, yeah.
Whatever you guys are up for,
it's okay by me.
Oh.
Anything?
I'm just saying,
anything you like,
either of you,
I'm game.
Honestly.
I'm very-- I'm very open-minded.
Obviously.
So, yeah. Let's just-- Let's just go already.
You're so bad.
What?
I'm just putting it out there.
I know, but...
- What? - Shall we?
Yeah, we shall.
Oh my--
This room! It's incredible.
Another room everywhere you go.
The molding, the woodwork...
It's beautiful, isn't it?
Oh beautiful. That's-- yeah.
I'll say.
Oh!
And there we go with the fucking lights.
Just get a fucking generator.
Alright.
You first.
Alright.
My clothes? - No!
Your story.
Oh.
You have to tell one to hear one.
Oh! Okay.
That's funny. I-- Yeah, I thought we were--
Alright, um...
I asked him earlier,
and he said he doesn't know any.
- Hm. - No, but...
Thanks a lot. No, I said--
I'm just not very good at telling stories, okay?
Well, that's not true.
Wha-- how so?
Cause you're a fibber.
That's what fibs are.
Just stories.
Little made-up stories.
Yeah, but that doesn't mean I know any ghost stories.
Make one up.
Come on, you guys. This is so dumb.
This was your idea!
I'm just here for the booze.
Another fib.
What's that mean?
You're not just here for the booze, right?
Hey.
You invited me in.
Oh come on. Be honest.
Mina, don't embarrass the man.
I'm just pointing out the truth.
Fine.
Can you do that for us?
What?
Make up a little story.
Pretty please?
Alright.
Fine.
A story. Here we go.
Mm.
So there was this guy...
No. No, no, no.
Once upon a time.
Seriously.
Yes! All good stories start with "Once upon a time".
She's right.
Alright.
Fine.
Jesus... once upon a time, there was this guy.
And um...
he was a pretty decent person.
Good friend to a lot of people.
Coworker you could count on.
He was friendly, fun-- whatever, just this guy.
Let's call him Steve.
So Steve, he goes to this bar,
and
he meets this
amazing girl.
She's beautiful
and mysterious, and
just...
she's great.
Perfect.
And they start talking,
and they connect,
and they drink,
and they laugh.
And then the girl has to go.
She says, "I don't have a ride."
And she says--
Well, she's gotta call a cab, right?
Get an Uber. Some other...
expensive option, and...
she asks Steve to drive her.
He's game. He's a decent person,
so he obliges.
And so they do. They drive back to her place.
This...
mansion in the woods.
This incredible place.
And they drink a little more,
and then they just...
kiss, and it is--
it's like he's never kissed before.
It's the best.
And he starts getting a little nervous.
Why's that?
Because...
he thinks he sees ghosts.
In the house, out in the woods, everywhere.
Ghosts, all over the place.
But guess what.
What?
There are no ghosts.
No?
Oh no, no, no. No ghosts.
No danger of any kind.
Really.
Well then, what was it?
Not what.
Who.
It was that girl's,
also very attractive, sister.
She wasn't a ghost.
Just a living person.
They live together.
And after that,
after Steve realized it,
he was totally cool.
And he was never, ever scared again.
Never?
Nope.
Not even once again
the rest of his entire, whole life.
Okay...
and so then what happens?
Okay... well,
then, uh, Steve...
uh, he has a few more drinks with the ladies,
the sisters,
and they go upstairs,
and he...
fucks their brains out.
And then they all take a shower together.
That's the end of the story?
Yeah, that's it.
Oh wait. The End.
How's that?
That's not a ghost story.
Oh, ladies, come on!
It was a-- it was a joke!
It's no fair.
What? I'm--
I was trying to be funny.
Funny?
I didn't laugh at all.
Neither did I.
Well, you win some. You lose some.
They can't all be hits.
It wasn't like a joke joke.
Make a smile.
Geeze, you got a tough audience.
Oh come on, it was a little amusing.
Right? A little bit?
- Fine. - Fine.
Thank you. Oh, thank you.
I gotta tell ya.
I'm very encouraged by the fact that
you didn't seem to care about the sex
with both sisters part.
The fact that it wasn't funny enough
is what got you.
We asked for a ghost story.
I know. Forgive me.
It's the best I could do on short notice.
Okay, alright. Yeah, you did. So...
After they take a shower, um...
the towels are just, like, floating in the air,
and they're being held by a ghost,
and all they all dry off, and Steve goes home--
maybe they fuck again,
and cause he's now calmed down, and he gets worked up again.
They fuck again, and he goes home.
Okay? Ghost story.
So.
Your turn.
You show me how it's done.
Lucy is the storyteller of the family.
I'm the game-player.
Oh, that's true enough.
Stories first.
Games later.
Promise?
Cross my heart.
Okay.
That's a deal.
You ready?
Yeah.
Okay.
Once upon a time,
Classic.
Cause I saw that coming.
Shh...
Sorry, sorry.
Once upon a time, there was a girl.
A lovely little girl
who lived in a tiny house with her mother and her father
on the edge of a great, dark forest.
They lived near a vast lake by the woods,
and it was good.
And they were happy.
For awhile, at least.
But happiness can never last long,
not even in stories.
And darkness came for the family.
One
after the other, until...
only the little girl was left.
Her father died in the deep, dark woods,
and her mother fell ill with fever soon after,
and then only the child was left
to tend to the animals and the farmland
and try to make a new life for herself.
She had to watch all the animals?
Shh...
Sorry.
And then,
one day, men came.
Oh boy.
Here we go.
Hunters
from a nearby village.
They saw that the little girl was all alone,
and yet, they did not take pity on her.
They did not take her into town
and make her one of their own.
They did not lead her to a church for safety,
or comfort, or love. No.
They did not.
Instead,
they led her out to the forest,
this circle of men,
and one by one, they had their way with her.
One, by one,
by one.
Jesus. H. Christ.
No.
Jesus was nowhere to be found on that day.
No, that's-- I didn't mean to--
didn't mean that literally.
Wait, hold on. Is that the end of the story?
Oh no.
Oh, okay.
That's a really depressing ending.
Buzzkill.
No, I'm not finished yet.
Oh good.
Please.
The men from the village left the little girl for dead
in the deep, dark woods,
but she was not dead.
Near death,
but not at all dead.
She lay frozen in the grass,
covered in pain, and dirt, and bruises.
Her body mangled and abused,
unable to move,
staring up at the sky,
hoping to have even the strength to die,
but she did not die.
Not that day, and not ever.
Instead,
she was found by a passing family
in the dark of night.
By a kindly father, and his two, young daughters.
They found her laying in the grass,
smashed to pieces.
And so they lifted her up,
and they carried her away,
high to a castle in the mountains,
where they slowly nursed her back to health.
Day by day.
Hour by hour.
Drop
by drop.
Drop by drop?
- Shh... - I just--
I'm asking. I don't understand the drops.
Let her finish.
Sorry, I wasn't following the...
I was-- I don't know where the drops came from.
Sorry, please continue the--
the drops.
The little girl recovered with each passing week,
until she was better than before.
Bigger.
Stronger.
Faster. And then...
one day, she was ready.
Ready to return to where she came from,
to that tiny house
near the lake, by the woods.
The little girl, now fully grown,
and having blossomed into a beautiful, young woman,
returned with her new family to the village.
And together,
they tracked down those men who hurt her,
One,
by one,
by one.
Okay, good.
Those men
who shattered her little body
and broke her tiny heart,
they coaxed them out into the woods,
and they dragged them into dark, dark caves,
and they tied them up,
and they broke their bones,
and then slowly, so slowly,
they killed them
and drained them of their blood.
Wait...
I just-- You said...
What, you said caves?
N-- what...?
Why'd you say caves?
Tied them up in caves?
Why'd you say that?
Listen.
That's... weird.
Sorry.
So...
the young woman and her sisters finished off that village,
and the next one,
and the next one after that,
until there were no more villages of men
left in the entire country.
And then they left that place.
They put that world behind them,
and they traveled far and wide.
Year after year.
From town to town, city to city,
leaving a bloody swathe behind them
that grew larger, and larger,
and larger still.
Until they came here,
to this place.
Many, many years after they first began.
They bought many homes
in which to hide in.
Dark, brooding places
where they could sleep by day
and feed at night.
Lurking in the shadows.
Luring men and boys to their lairs
to toy with them however long they wished.
Toy with them
and then pull them apart.
Slowly.
Piece by piece.
Limb
by limb.
One after another,
after another.
And do you know what?
What?
They still do
to this very day.
Those three sisters of the undead.
I just--
Is that-- is that how it ends?
Who said anything about ending?
It never ends.
Did you like it?
Our little story.
It--
Was intense. Fucking dark.
Very well told.
Really good. Compelling.
And lucky for me, there's only two of you, right?
Two what?
Sisters.
- Guess who. - Holy fuck!
Oh shit!
That scared--
Oh man...
Jesus Christ!
That scared the shit out of me!
Oh my God... who the fuck are you now?
This is our sister, Nora.
Ha.
Hello.
Shit!
Another sister. - Yep.
Yeah, you didn't tell me about her either.
No, I didn't.
That's weird.
Okay, well...
Nice to meet you, Nora.
And you.
Yeah... how's it--
You got me there. That was really good.
Oh my God, my fucking heart.
It was a good jumpscare.
Congrats.
You still don't understand what's going on, do you?
Understand what?
What's happening here.
What? You guys are like...
you know, like, messing with me for some reason?
He's not very bright, is he?
What?
Fucking rude.
I don't even know you.
Is this about--
Me and your sister--
What is this? What's going on? I thought this was
just the two of us.
Oh really?
- Yeah.
Well, what about your friend?
What friend?
The one who was going to come over.
Oh! The one who wanted pictures.
That one.
Oh God.
I know what's going on here.
That's crazy.
But you heard me on the phone.
I knew it. I fucking knew it.
So what is this? What do you--
Are you like teaching me a lesson or something?
Is that it? - Why?
Do you need to be taught a lesson?
Hey, what did I just say to this one? Huh?
This is between--
Can we just go somewhere to talk, please?
Anything you have to say
can be said in front of my sisters.
Oh come on!
I don't even think you're actually sisters.
But we are though.
In blood. - Okay!
Enough with the creepy shit!
It's-- I get it!
Hey, look.
Mina, I'm sorry, okay?
I am. If I offended you,
or I-- I made you feel...
triggered by something.
I was bullshitting with--
It's just a guy from work.
Are you kidding? I didn't mean that stuff!
Come on! Can you--
Would you-- could we just talk, please?
Sure. Go ahead.
Talk.
Now's your chance.
Last chance.
Stop fucking saying that shit!
Seriously! That's not--
It's not funny! Okay?
I'm not laughing!
So just stop it!
Oh, I know.
Let's play a game.
Games are fun.
- Very fun. - Oh my God... no.
I don't want to play a game.
I don't want to do anything with any of you guys.
Even you, which is really unfortunate.
I thought we were having fun!
We are.
Fuck!
I'm tired.
I'm gonna go home.
No, you're not.
Not tonight.
Not ever.
Okay...
This is crazy!
What is this?
Is this what these--
Is this what rich girls do?
They sit in...
Daddy's big house and fucking humiliate people?
That's fucked up!
You all need intense therapy,
cause you're fucking nuts.
Especially you.
That is so fucking lame!
What did I do?!
I took--
I wasn't gonna send him any pictures!
Are you that fucking sensitive?!
This is nuts! All night!?
I could've--
I wasted a night!
Cunts.
I'm out of here.
None of you better try to stop me either, okay?
Oh my God!
Oh fuck.
Fuck!
Fuck...
Are you kidding me?
Open the door.
Sometimes it sticks.
Open the door right now.
Just takes a little muscle.
Open the fucking door!
Or what?
You know what.
Say it.
Oh fuck you.
Say it.
I'll knock you across the goddamn room.
Did you hear me?
Loud and clear.
Open the door now!
Open it!
How the fuck did you do that?
Who's out there?
Fucking weirdos.
This is nuts.
What the fuck?
Hello bunny.
Let's play...
Please!
Fuck!
Wait, fuck!
Run, little bunny.
You hide.
We seek.
Fuck!
Hurry up, little bunny! Hop, hop, hop!
Quick, little bunny.
Run.
Please! Please!
Please, please! Wait...
Please!
I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please!
♪ When you find ♪
♪ The one you're looking for♪
♪ Don't ask ♪
♪ Don't ask for more ♪
♪ When you find ♪
♪ Your dreams have come alive ♪
♪ Don't ask ♪
♪ Don't ask for more ♪
♪ I can say these warning words today ♪
♪ Because I've lost everything the other way ♪
♪ And so take care ♪
♪ Only wish for your true share ♪
♪ Don't ask ♪
♪ Don't ask for more ♪
♪ When you find ♪
♪ The one you're looking for♪
♪ Don't ask ♪
♪ Don't ask for more ♪
♪ I can say these warning words today ♪
♪ Because I've lost everything the other way ♪
♪ And so take care ♪
♪ Only wish for your true share ♪
♪ Don't ask ♪
♪ Don't ask for more ♪