1 00:00:29,643 --> 00:00:32,643 Do I seem less intuitive to you? 2 00:00:32,683 --> 00:00:34,763 I just had some Botox in my third eye. 3 00:00:36,083 --> 00:00:37,443 No. 4 00:00:37,483 --> 00:00:38,803 Looks better though, doesn't it? 5 00:00:40,763 --> 00:00:42,123 Yeah, Mum. Looks good. 6 00:00:42,163 --> 00:00:45,203 Oh, stop mooning over him, darling. 7 00:00:45,243 --> 00:00:47,643 I'm not mooning over him. I'm mooning over Colin. 8 00:00:47,683 --> 00:00:49,843 That's who I meant! Oh. 9 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:52,403 Darling, you can't have a crippled dog. 10 00:00:52,443 --> 00:00:54,883 You're gonna be a doctor. You'll be knee-deep in cripples. 11 00:00:54,923 --> 00:00:56,843 You need a nice cavoodle or something. 12 00:00:56,883 --> 00:00:59,963 Hypoallergenic. I don't want a cav... 13 00:01:00,003 --> 00:01:00,043 Mum! 14 00:01:00,043 --> 00:01:01,963 Mum! 15 00:01:02,003 --> 00:01:04,203 Lee, what are you doing? 16 00:01:06,003 --> 00:01:07,683 Lee! 17 00:01:07,723 --> 00:01:09,843 Just doing my Duolingo, darling. 18 00:01:09,883 --> 00:01:12,603 Well, we can hear you. 19 00:01:12,643 --> 00:01:14,763 Is he doing Duolingo, Mum? 20 00:01:14,803 --> 00:01:16,163 (WHISPERS) I don't know. 21 00:01:16,203 --> 00:01:17,363 (PHONE CHIMES) 22 00:01:19,203 --> 00:01:20,523 Oh, he's almost here. 23 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,163 I can't do this. I can't give him back! 24 00:01:25,203 --> 00:01:27,483 Oh, darling, it'll be OK. 25 00:01:27,523 --> 00:01:29,883 Think of the family who thought they'd lost him forever. 26 00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:32,563 No. I...I don't know, why I called them. 27 00:01:32,603 --> 00:01:35,483 Just because you ran over a dog doesn't mean he's yours. 28 00:01:35,523 --> 00:01:38,243 I didn't run him over. It was Gordon. 29 00:01:38,283 --> 00:01:40,123 But he said you distracted him though. 30 00:01:40,163 --> 00:01:42,243 What on earth were you doing that was so watchable? 31 00:01:42,283 --> 00:01:43,763 Nothing. 32 00:01:43,803 --> 00:01:45,883 He's just... He's a shit driver. 33 00:01:45,923 --> 00:01:46,963 I have to go. 34 00:01:47,003 --> 00:01:48,723 Well, don't I get to say goodbye to dear little Colin? 35 00:01:48,763 --> 00:01:50,563 Dear little Colin? You've never even patted him. 36 00:01:50,603 --> 00:01:53,523 I don't pat animals, darling. I lay hands. 37 00:01:54,923 --> 00:01:56,203 He doesn't need your horse reiki. 38 00:01:56,243 --> 00:01:58,443 Yes, he does. Don't do this. 39 00:01:59,603 --> 00:02:00,043 I have to go. 40 00:02:00,043 --> 00:02:01,883 I have to go. 41 00:02:01,923 --> 00:02:03,083 His sacral region. 42 00:02:04,323 --> 00:02:05,883 Of course it's there. 43 00:02:05,923 --> 00:02:07,403 It's the relationship chakra. 44 00:02:07,443 --> 00:02:09,802 Yeah, Mum, that's fuck... that's fucken enough. 45 00:02:09,843 --> 00:02:11,723 OK, wait. Wait. I haven't grounded him yet... 46 00:02:11,763 --> 00:02:14,203 None of us are grounded, Mum. 47 00:02:14,243 --> 00:02:17,243 (THEME MUSIC) 48 00:02:36,563 --> 00:02:39,563 (KIDS GIGGLE SCREAM PLAYFULLY) 49 00:02:52,203 --> 00:02:55,643 This guy, what'd he sound like? Was he nice, or... 50 00:02:55,683 --> 00:02:59,283 Ahh, he sounded, I don't know, normal. 51 00:03:01,203 --> 00:03:03,763 Was he happy to get his dog back at least? 52 00:03:03,803 --> 00:03:06,403 I don't... I think so. I couldn't really tell. 53 00:03:11,323 --> 00:03:12,603 How's your hand? 54 00:03:12,643 --> 00:03:16,163 Oh, it's ahh, Boxer's fracture. 55 00:03:16,203 --> 00:03:18,003 Oh, fuck. 56 00:03:19,323 --> 00:03:20,403 It doesn't matter. 57 00:03:20,443 --> 00:03:21,523 It does matter. 58 00:03:24,723 --> 00:03:25,923 Look, should we call this guy? Yeah. 59 00:03:25,963 --> 00:03:27,323 He's 20 minutes late. Yes, OK. 60 00:03:29,563 --> 00:03:31,563 (EXHALES DEEPLY) 61 00:03:33,563 --> 00:03:34,563 Hello? 62 00:03:34,603 --> 00:03:35,883 Hi, Matt, how are you... Where are you? 63 00:03:35,923 --> 00:03:37,003 I've been for half an hour. 64 00:03:37,043 --> 00:03:38,283 Oh, we're at the elephant. 65 00:03:38,323 --> 00:03:39,563 Yeah, I'm at the elephant. 66 00:03:39,603 --> 00:03:40,803 Oh, no... Hi. 67 00:03:40,843 --> 00:03:41,923 Oh, I think I see... Matt? 68 00:03:41,963 --> 00:03:43,523 He hung up. OK. Oh. 69 00:03:43,563 --> 00:03:44,603 Cool guy. 70 00:03:46,683 --> 00:03:48,643 Here we go. Here we go, here we go, Col. 71 00:03:49,723 --> 00:03:51,603 What the fuck happened? 72 00:03:51,643 --> 00:03:53,883 Oh, shit, did you not tell him? No, I did... 73 00:03:53,923 --> 00:03:54,963 What happened to Bandit? 74 00:03:55,003 --> 00:03:57,483 Sorry, I told you on the phone that he was hit by a car. 75 00:03:57,523 --> 00:03:59,243 No, you don't. I did. 76 00:03:59,283 --> 00:04:00,043 We don't know who was driving the car though. 77 00:04:00,043 --> 00:04:01,123 We don't know who was driving the car though. 78 00:04:01,163 --> 00:04:03,043 You didn't tell me he was... 79 00:04:03,083 --> 00:04:04,323 Oh, fuck's sake! 80 00:04:04,363 --> 00:04:06,163 Hey, he's...he's OK. Yeah. 81 00:04:06,203 --> 00:04:07,443 He's still a good dog. He made it. 82 00:04:07,483 --> 00:04:08,523 No, it isn't, mate. 83 00:04:08,563 --> 00:04:09,883 He's got wheels for fucken back legs. 84 00:04:09,923 --> 00:04:12,763 No, we...we know that, mate. But he's...he's... 85 00:04:12,803 --> 00:04:14,083 Let's just calm down, alright? Yeah. 86 00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:15,163 Hey why don't you calm down? 87 00:04:15,203 --> 00:04:17,843 My ten-year-old boy was devastated when his dog ran away. 88 00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:19,883 He's been crying ever since. 89 00:04:19,923 --> 00:04:23,083 He comes home from school with paintings of Bandit in heaven 90 00:04:23,123 --> 00:04:25,443 and Bandit in a coffin, 91 00:04:25,483 --> 00:04:26,523 and now he's having dreams that 92 00:04:26,563 --> 00:04:28,363 zombie Bandit's fucken stuck in his closet. 93 00:04:28,403 --> 00:04:29,923 Oh, that's awful. 94 00:04:29,963 --> 00:04:31,003 Yeah, it is awful. 95 00:04:31,043 --> 00:04:32,283 And then I get your phone call and I'm thinking, 96 00:04:32,323 --> 00:04:33,523 I'm gonna reunite him with his dog 97 00:04:33,563 --> 00:04:36,043 and now, I've gotta let him down all over again. 98 00:04:36,083 --> 00:04:37,603 Why? He's alive. 99 00:04:37,643 --> 00:04:38,643 What do you expect me to do, 100 00:04:38,683 --> 00:04:40,003 build fucken ramps for the fucken thing? 101 00:04:40,043 --> 00:04:43,923 Are you actually saying that you don't want your dog back? 102 00:04:43,963 --> 00:04:46,123 I never fucken wanted the dog! 103 00:04:46,163 --> 00:04:49,203 My boy wanted a dog, but he doesn't pick its shit up 104 00:04:49,243 --> 00:04:50,243 and walk the little cunt. 105 00:04:50,283 --> 00:04:51,643 OK, are you right, mate? 106 00:04:51,683 --> 00:04:53,323 No, I'm not fucken right 107 00:04:53,363 --> 00:04:55,963 'cause I've gotta go and tell my boy that this isn't the same fucken dog, 108 00:04:56,003 --> 00:04:57,003 'cause it's not, is it? 109 00:04:57,043 --> 00:04:58,043 'Cause this dog's fucked. 110 00:04:58,083 --> 00:05:00,043 No, you're a bit fucked, aren't ya mate, ya fucken cretin? 111 00:05:00,043 --> 00:05:00,683 No, you're a bit fucked, aren't ya mate, ya fucken cretin? 112 00:05:00,723 --> 00:05:02,163 Gordon, don't. Come on. Gordon. 113 00:05:02,203 --> 00:05:03,243 What are... 114 00:05:03,283 --> 00:05:05,843 What are you gonna fucken do, Gordon? 115 00:05:05,883 --> 00:05:07,443 Do you want me to break your other fucken hand? 116 00:05:07,483 --> 00:05:09,483 Have a fucken swing, mate. Have a fucken swing. 117 00:05:09,523 --> 00:05:11,483 Is he being serious? Are you, mate? 118 00:05:11,523 --> 00:05:13,803 (MIMICKING) Are you, mate? Don't be a fucken idiot, mate... 119 00:05:13,843 --> 00:05:16,163 Come on. Well, fucken... 120 00:05:16,203 --> 00:05:17,683 Yes, I don't think you are, Gordon. 121 00:05:17,723 --> 00:05:19,483 Mate, I'll fucken put my good hand behind my back. 122 00:05:19,523 --> 00:05:21,483 You... OK. 123 00:05:26,963 --> 00:05:29,563 Have you ever thought you might have a problem with rage? 124 00:05:29,603 --> 00:05:30,723 I said sorry. 125 00:05:30,763 --> 00:05:31,883 Oh, only after you realised 126 00:05:31,923 --> 00:05:33,283 he was gonna beat the shit out of you. 127 00:05:33,323 --> 00:05:34,563 Yeah, what sort of dickhead threatens 128 00:05:34,603 --> 00:05:35,963 a guy with one hand? 129 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,403 And why do you have one hand? 130 00:05:37,443 --> 00:05:40,243 I'm not really at my best, currently, Ash, alright? 131 00:05:40,283 --> 00:05:41,963 Yeah, but you go from 0 to a 100... 132 00:05:42,003 --> 00:05:43,363 No, I wasn't at zero. 133 00:05:44,843 --> 00:05:47,963 I was already mid-50s. The guy is an arsehole. 134 00:06:01,723 --> 00:06:02,923 What do we do? 135 00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:03,963 What do you mean? 136 00:06:04,003 --> 00:06:07,283 Well, I can't look after him if we're, you know, if... 137 00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:09,203 I can't do it alone. 138 00:06:09,243 --> 00:06:10,443 Can you? No. 139 00:06:11,683 --> 00:06:13,043 No, I can't, not by myself. 140 00:06:18,323 --> 00:06:20,683 Do you know anyone who's looking for a dog? 141 00:06:22,443 --> 00:06:25,443 (SOFT MUSIC) 142 00:06:27,003 --> 00:06:28,003 Ooh! 143 00:06:30,043 --> 00:06:31,243 Hello, mate. 144 00:06:31,283 --> 00:06:33,723 Are your neighbours still up for a dog? 145 00:06:33,763 --> 00:06:35,163 I don't think so, man. 146 00:06:35,203 --> 00:06:38,043 I think they went to the rescue place down in Mascot. 147 00:06:38,083 --> 00:06:39,083 Oh. 148 00:06:39,123 --> 00:06:41,603 What...what place? We're near Mascot now. 149 00:06:41,643 --> 00:06:42,723 Couldn't tell you. 150 00:06:42,763 --> 00:06:45,963 Bretty, is it... Is it Jenny's Animal Shelter, maybe? 151 00:06:46,003 --> 00:06:47,483 Yeah, that's the one. 152 00:06:47,523 --> 00:06:50,763 So, Meggles, she's a cool chick. 153 00:06:50,803 --> 00:06:53,083 Yeah, yep, she's great. Why? 154 00:06:53,123 --> 00:06:55,523 What's her story? Is she single? 155 00:06:55,563 --> 00:06:58,163 Fuck. She might be, yep. 156 00:06:58,203 --> 00:06:59,283 Cool. 157 00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:03,043 You wouldn't mind giving us her number? 158 00:07:03,083 --> 00:07:04,883 I thought Chiara warned you off, mate. 159 00:07:04,923 --> 00:07:07,323 Chiara's married with kids. She's kidding herself. 160 00:07:07,363 --> 00:07:08,403 Big talk, mate. 161 00:07:08,443 --> 00:07:09,443 Who's kidding herself? 162 00:07:09,483 --> 00:07:10,963 Ooh, you're fucked now. 163 00:07:11,003 --> 00:07:12,923 Um, how about I'll text her your number? 164 00:07:12,963 --> 00:07:14,363 I think that's better. Cool. Bye. 165 00:07:15,523 --> 00:07:16,723 Not kidding yourself, you know. 166 00:07:16,763 --> 00:07:18,123 What, are you going to call Megan? 167 00:07:19,203 --> 00:07:21,323 Are you? You're married, Chi. 168 00:07:21,363 --> 00:07:23,123 Yeah, I know that, Brett. I know that. 169 00:07:24,283 --> 00:07:25,363 You OK? 170 00:07:26,483 --> 00:07:29,003 No, I'm not. I really liked her the other day. 171 00:07:30,603 --> 00:07:32,003 Oh. 172 00:07:32,043 --> 00:07:35,763 Oh, I didn't know you... you swung from vine to vine. 173 00:07:35,803 --> 00:07:37,483 Well, before Andre, I had a couple of... 174 00:07:37,523 --> 00:07:39,243 Sips from the furry cup? 175 00:07:39,283 --> 00:07:40,443 Come on. 176 00:07:40,483 --> 00:07:43,043 Sorry, I just didn't know you dined at the Y? 177 00:07:43,083 --> 00:07:44,243 Brett! Sorry! 178 00:07:45,483 --> 00:07:49,003 Sorry. Alright? Go on. 179 00:07:49,043 --> 00:07:52,283 Well, you know, Andre and I got together so young. 180 00:07:52,323 --> 00:07:55,683 Sort of just haven't opened that door since. 181 00:07:55,723 --> 00:07:58,403 Look, Chi, if this is a big, 182 00:07:58,443 --> 00:08:00,043 you know, moment for you then I won't call her, OK? 183 00:08:00,043 --> 00:08:04,083 you know, moment for you then I won't call her, OK? 184 00:08:05,323 --> 00:08:07,163 Alright? 185 00:08:07,203 --> 00:08:08,363 I think she's a really cool chick, 186 00:08:08,403 --> 00:08:10,923 but it's alright. 187 00:08:10,963 --> 00:08:12,003 It's cool. 188 00:08:13,123 --> 00:08:14,203 I'm married, for fuck's sake. 189 00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:17,843 OK. (PHONE CHIMES) 190 00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:22,203 Oh, wow, it's Megan. 191 00:08:22,243 --> 00:08:25,123 "Hey, just got your number from Ash". 192 00:08:25,163 --> 00:08:26,203 Up for a bevy if I... 193 00:08:26,243 --> 00:08:27,643 ..drop round in the next hourish? 194 00:08:34,123 --> 00:08:35,763 'Where do you stand on threesomes? 195 00:08:38,723 --> 00:08:40,003 Are you on crack? 196 00:08:40,043 --> 00:08:42,003 (SOFT MUSIC) 197 00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:44,043 (DOGS BARKING) 198 00:08:51,763 --> 00:08:53,203 Are we sure this is the place? 199 00:08:54,763 --> 00:08:58,123 Yep, it's got one review from Numbskull 823, 200 00:08:58,163 --> 00:09:00,043 which says, "Big boi got big balzzz." 201 00:09:00,083 --> 00:09:01,763 Sounds good. That was three years ago. 202 00:09:01,803 --> 00:09:03,363 OK. Yep. 203 00:09:03,403 --> 00:09:06,163 (DOG BARKS) 204 00:09:06,203 --> 00:09:08,043 That one has one eye. 205 00:09:08,083 --> 00:09:09,683 When did that happen? 206 00:09:09,723 --> 00:09:12,323 Look at that fucking wolf thing. 207 00:09:12,363 --> 00:09:14,243 That's from 'Game of Thrones'. 208 00:09:14,283 --> 00:09:16,803 That's 'Jon Snow's dog. 209 00:09:16,843 --> 00:09:18,243 Oh, shit, look at that one. 210 00:09:18,283 --> 00:09:19,403 Oh, he can jump. 211 00:09:19,443 --> 00:09:20,643 He's a jumper. OK. 212 00:09:23,803 --> 00:09:25,323 I can't look at him. Nuh. 213 00:09:29,363 --> 00:09:31,323 Ooh, bad dog. That's a...That's a bad dog. 214 00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:33,483 No, he's OK. He's chained up. He's chained up. That's alright. 215 00:09:33,523 --> 00:09:35,923 What about that one? He's here. Oh! 216 00:09:35,963 --> 00:09:37,363 OK. Well, he can't go in here. 217 00:09:37,403 --> 00:09:38,443 Pick him up. Pick him up. 218 00:09:38,483 --> 00:09:39,963 Well, no, he's got... he's got his wheels on. 219 00:09:40,003 --> 00:09:41,483 Yeah, well, you have to pick him up anyway. 220 00:09:41,523 --> 00:09:43,643 Like my hand, I can't... Just pick the dog up... 221 00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:44,723 Yep, OK. Very good. ..Gordon. 222 00:09:44,763 --> 00:09:46,683 OK, here we go. Oh, god. 223 00:09:46,723 --> 00:09:48,243 OK. Oh, fuck, he's lunch. 224 00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:50,083 Look at him, he's lunch. No, we're good, we're good. 225 00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:52,203 Go, go, go. And relax. Just breathe. 226 00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:53,683 Oh, my god. 227 00:09:53,723 --> 00:09:56,203 That's it. Be confident. Be confident. We're good. 228 00:09:56,243 --> 00:09:57,523 He's really big. No, he's good, he's good. 229 00:09:57,563 --> 00:09:59,003 That's the one with one eye. We're all good. 230 00:09:59,043 --> 00:10:00,043 Just be confident. We're the top dog. 231 00:10:00,043 --> 00:10:00,563 Just be confident. We're the top dog. 232 00:10:00,603 --> 00:10:02,203 We're the top dogs. I don't think we are. 233 00:10:02,243 --> 00:10:03,723 Yeah, yeah. Oh, my goodness! 234 00:10:03,763 --> 00:10:05,643 All good? All good? No, I'm great. OK, top dog. 235 00:10:05,683 --> 00:10:06,963 You know, what? Be confident and laugh. 236 00:10:07,003 --> 00:10:10,003 (LAUGHTER) 237 00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:12,483 Get down! 238 00:10:14,083 --> 00:10:15,363 What the bloody hell are youse doing? 239 00:10:15,403 --> 00:10:17,283 Youse are meant to use the back gate. 240 00:10:17,323 --> 00:10:18,403 Hey. Oh, hi, we didn't realise. 241 00:10:18,443 --> 00:10:19,443 There was one. Sorry. 242 00:10:19,483 --> 00:10:22,323 Yeah, you're right. You droppin' off or pickin' up? 243 00:10:22,363 --> 00:10:25,403 Ahh, potentially dropping off. 244 00:10:25,443 --> 00:10:27,483 Legs buggered? Ahh, yes. 245 00:10:28,523 --> 00:10:30,603 Does it come with the rig? 246 00:10:30,643 --> 00:10:32,403 Yes, he needs them. The rig is... Yeah. 247 00:10:33,403 --> 00:10:35,363 Sweet. OK. 248 00:10:35,403 --> 00:10:37,203 So, do you have... Ooh! 249 00:10:37,243 --> 00:10:39,923 Any experience with special needs dogs? 250 00:10:39,963 --> 00:10:42,403 Dogs are dogs, love. 251 00:10:42,443 --> 00:10:45,083 $300 for drop off. OK. 252 00:10:45,123 --> 00:10:46,843 Ahh, he might need his urine expressed, though. 253 00:10:46,883 --> 00:10:50,123 Do you know, how to do that? Yeah, no worries. 254 00:10:50,163 --> 00:10:51,643 But...but do you know how to do it? 255 00:10:51,683 --> 00:10:53,203 You droppin' off or not? 256 00:10:53,243 --> 00:10:56,523 Ahh, well, possibly, but this is a high-needs dog. 257 00:10:56,563 --> 00:10:59,363 Nah, youse are high-needs people. 258 00:10:59,403 --> 00:11:00,043 Dogs are dogs. Shut up, Bobo. 259 00:11:00,043 --> 00:11:02,403 Dogs are dogs. Shut up, Bobo. 260 00:11:02,443 --> 00:11:03,923 Gordon, I really... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 261 00:11:03,963 --> 00:11:04,963 I think we should go. Yeah. 262 00:11:05,003 --> 00:11:07,243 Bugger youse then. Fricken time wasters. 263 00:11:07,283 --> 00:11:08,923 Sorry, Jenny. Come on, Bobby. 264 00:11:08,963 --> 00:11:10,203 Come on. Come on, inside. 265 00:11:10,243 --> 00:11:13,243 Right, here he comes. Good boy. Come on! Inside! 266 00:11:13,283 --> 00:11:14,723 Good boy. Come on! 267 00:11:14,763 --> 00:11:15,923 Gordon, you've backed me up against the gate. 268 00:11:15,963 --> 00:11:17,283 Alright, can we... I can't open the fucking gate. 269 00:11:17,323 --> 00:11:18,363 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Move forward. 270 00:11:19,923 --> 00:11:21,043 Jesus Christ. 271 00:11:21,083 --> 00:11:23,403 Yeah, I mean, so, Jenny's definitely not vaccinated. 272 00:11:23,443 --> 00:11:24,523 Wouldn't have thought so. 273 00:11:25,843 --> 00:11:26,843 Bretty. 274 00:11:26,883 --> 00:11:29,003 Hey, mate, the neighbours are still looking for a dog. 275 00:11:29,043 --> 00:11:30,803 Oh, really? Oh, what? 276 00:11:30,843 --> 00:11:33,723 They said that...that rescue place was a bit weird. 277 00:11:33,763 --> 00:11:36,283 A bit? Fucken hell. My god. 278 00:11:36,323 --> 00:11:39,323 Anyway, Phoebe is the Mum's name. 279 00:11:39,363 --> 00:11:41,803 I'll text you all her dets and she'll be expecting your call. 280 00:11:41,843 --> 00:11:44,243 But they're a really nice family. 281 00:11:44,283 --> 00:11:45,803 OK. Yep, sounds good man. 282 00:11:45,843 --> 00:11:48,563 Thanks, Brett. Did...did Meggles text? 283 00:11:48,603 --> 00:11:51,243 Yeah. She... Yeah. 284 00:11:52,403 --> 00:11:53,603 Is everything OK? 285 00:11:53,643 --> 00:11:56,243 Yep. Yep. Yep. 286 00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:58,203 It's cool. Cool, cool. 287 00:11:58,243 --> 00:11:59,683 What's that mean? 288 00:11:59,723 --> 00:12:00,043 Ahh, nah. All good. She did, thanks. 289 00:12:00,043 --> 00:12:03,123 Ahh, nah. All good. She did, thanks. 290 00:12:03,163 --> 00:12:05,163 Anyways, gotta crack on. OK. 291 00:12:05,203 --> 00:12:06,563 OK. Alright. 292 00:12:06,603 --> 00:12:07,803 See ya. Bye. 293 00:12:09,523 --> 00:12:10,603 Ooh! 294 00:12:10,643 --> 00:12:12,363 OK. 295 00:12:12,403 --> 00:12:13,883 What do you think, should we do this? 296 00:12:13,923 --> 00:12:16,323 Yeah, I mean, anything's better than that. 297 00:12:19,243 --> 00:12:21,163 (LAUGHTER) 298 00:12:21,203 --> 00:12:22,203 Yeah. 299 00:12:22,243 --> 00:12:25,083 Oh, and it turned out the British guy, Nigel. 300 00:12:25,123 --> 00:12:26,123 Yeah? 301 00:12:26,163 --> 00:12:28,163 Yeah, is some drug dealer mate of Roman's. 302 00:12:28,203 --> 00:12:29,883 What? Sorry, what British guy? 303 00:12:29,923 --> 00:12:31,083 The one that fell out the window. 304 00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:35,243 Sorry, someone fell out the window? Yeah. 305 00:12:35,283 --> 00:12:36,283 Well, did he survive? 306 00:12:36,323 --> 00:12:39,203 Yeah, but now he's suing us. 307 00:12:39,243 --> 00:12:41,083 What! Gordon told me you'd freak out. 308 00:12:41,123 --> 00:12:42,163 Freak out? Yes! 309 00:12:42,203 --> 00:12:43,323 What was he doing up there? I don't know! 310 00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:45,123 Maybe I should go. BOTH: No, no, no. 311 00:12:45,163 --> 00:12:46,163 Sorry, that's so... 312 00:12:46,203 --> 00:12:47,683 This is so boring. Don't do that, no. 313 00:12:47,723 --> 00:12:49,683 We don't want to hear about all this work stuff. 314 00:12:49,723 --> 00:12:52,403 OK. You didn't come here for that. 315 00:12:52,443 --> 00:12:53,883 Did you? 316 00:12:53,923 --> 00:12:55,203 No, you did not come here 317 00:12:55,243 --> 00:12:57,923 so, that you could hear about Brett and Gordon's incompetence. 318 00:12:59,363 --> 00:13:00,043 Hey guys, is a debit card OK? 319 00:13:00,043 --> 00:13:01,283 Hey guys, is a debit card OK? 320 00:13:01,323 --> 00:13:03,243 Oh, no, no, no, this is on us. Yeah. 321 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,803 No, no, no, for the party. It's $500, yeah? 322 00:13:06,843 --> 00:13:08,003 You're paying for the whole party? 323 00:13:09,603 --> 00:13:10,603 Um, yeah. 324 00:13:10,643 --> 00:13:13,003 I...I think Ash got the impression that Gordon would pay, 325 00:13:13,043 --> 00:13:14,163 which is... which is our bad. 326 00:13:14,203 --> 00:13:17,243 Meggles, look, Gordo can pay for his girlfriend's party. 327 00:13:17,283 --> 00:13:18,283 Come on. 328 00:13:18,323 --> 00:13:20,763 Ahh, actually I think they broke up. 329 00:13:20,803 --> 00:13:21,843 BOTH: Oh. 330 00:13:21,883 --> 00:13:24,563 Well, whatever. You're not paying for this. 331 00:13:24,603 --> 00:13:25,603 Is she, Chi? 332 00:13:25,643 --> 00:13:29,043 No, way. No, no, no. This is on us. 333 00:13:29,083 --> 00:13:30,163 Yeah. Are you serious? 334 00:13:30,203 --> 00:13:31,363 Yep. Deadly. Yeah. 335 00:13:32,443 --> 00:13:34,843 Oh, my god, thank you guys. 336 00:13:34,883 --> 00:13:36,763 Thank you so much. You're the best. 337 00:13:36,803 --> 00:13:38,163 OK. 338 00:13:38,203 --> 00:13:39,603 Oh, thank you. Thank you. 339 00:13:39,643 --> 00:13:41,603 Thank you really. 340 00:13:41,643 --> 00:13:42,723 Thank you, Bretty, mwah. 341 00:13:45,123 --> 00:13:46,763 You guys are fucking legends. 342 00:13:46,803 --> 00:13:49,003 Oh, you're a legend. Oh, you are. 343 00:13:50,603 --> 00:13:51,603 And I just... 344 00:13:51,643 --> 00:13:54,003 I hope I didn't make too much of a dick of myself at the party. 345 00:13:54,043 --> 00:13:56,803 No, hey, hey, we had some really good chats. 346 00:13:56,843 --> 00:13:58,923 Yeah, so, did we. 347 00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:00,043 It's embarrassing for me 348 00:14:00,043 --> 00:14:00,243 It's embarrassing for me 349 00:14:00,283 --> 00:14:03,923 because I actually don't remember anything after shots. 350 00:14:03,963 --> 00:14:05,043 I was wasted. 351 00:14:05,083 --> 00:14:06,323 Yeah, me too. You think I remember? 352 00:14:06,363 --> 00:14:07,483 Oh, for sure. I don't... 353 00:14:07,523 --> 00:14:08,643 Sorry, was I even talking to you? 354 00:14:08,683 --> 00:14:10,563 (INDISTINCT TALK) 355 00:14:12,123 --> 00:14:14,043 What'd we even... Did we talk. Yeah. Exactly. 356 00:14:14,083 --> 00:14:15,403 I don't know, did we talk? 357 00:14:15,443 --> 00:14:17,403 (LAUGHTER) OK, OK. 358 00:14:17,443 --> 00:14:18,883 Thank you. Thanks, guys. 359 00:14:18,923 --> 00:14:20,283 Thank you for coming in. See ya. 360 00:14:20,323 --> 00:14:21,363 Yeah! Yep. 361 00:14:23,523 --> 00:14:26,523 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 362 00:14:51,483 --> 00:14:53,603 Can I have a... Shut up! Shut up. 363 00:15:01,803 --> 00:15:02,883 Third time lucky. 364 00:15:04,883 --> 00:15:05,963 (BELL TOLLS) 365 00:15:08,923 --> 00:15:10,323 Hi! Hi. 366 00:15:10,363 --> 00:15:12,603 I'm Phoebe. Hi, Gordon and Ashley. 367 00:15:12,643 --> 00:15:14,283 Hello, Phoebe, how are you? 368 00:15:14,323 --> 00:15:16,643 Oh, there you are! 369 00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:19,203 Look at this precious little man. 370 00:15:19,243 --> 00:15:22,963 Hello! Oh, kisses! 371 00:15:23,003 --> 00:15:24,963 Oh, kisses. Thank you! 372 00:15:27,923 --> 00:15:31,003 Please, come on in. Would you like a coffee, or a tea? 373 00:15:31,043 --> 00:15:34,243 BOTH: Oh. Um... Do you wanna... 374 00:15:34,283 --> 00:15:35,323 Oh, please you can meet Angus 375 00:15:35,363 --> 00:15:38,243 and Berlin is so excited to meet this little guy. 376 00:15:38,283 --> 00:15:39,403 Yeah, OK. Yes, great. 377 00:15:39,443 --> 00:15:40,643 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come in! 378 00:15:40,683 --> 00:15:43,683 (SOFT MUSIC) 379 00:15:47,963 --> 00:15:49,083 You have frizzy hair. 380 00:15:51,403 --> 00:15:52,683 What do I have? 381 00:15:52,723 --> 00:15:54,563 Frizzy hair. Oh, do I? 382 00:15:54,603 --> 00:15:57,243 She does, yeah, yeah. My Mum's prettier. 383 00:15:57,283 --> 00:15:58,643 Oop! Berlin! 384 00:16:02,443 --> 00:16:05,403 Our chihuahua, Peppy, died the year before last. 385 00:16:05,443 --> 00:16:07,323 He was 18, you know. 386 00:16:07,363 --> 00:16:10,203 So, it really took us a long time to get over it. 387 00:16:10,243 --> 00:16:12,363 Oh, yeah, I bet. 388 00:16:12,403 --> 00:16:13,883 Good innings. BOTH: Mm. 389 00:16:13,923 --> 00:16:15,843 And when Brett's Mum, Diana, told us about this dog 390 00:16:15,883 --> 00:16:19,243 we just thought, you precious little thing. 391 00:16:19,283 --> 00:16:22,283 And seeing him here, he really is. 392 00:16:22,323 --> 00:16:24,403 Yeah, he's very special. Yeah. 393 00:16:25,603 --> 00:16:29,003 Did she mention that he might need help doing a wee, 394 00:16:29,043 --> 00:16:30,283 going to the toilet in time? 395 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:33,163 Yep, already YouTubed that and ready to go, so... 396 00:16:33,203 --> 00:16:34,483 Oh. Oh, wow. 397 00:16:34,523 --> 00:16:35,523 That's great. 398 00:16:35,563 --> 00:16:36,603 Yeah. 399 00:16:36,643 --> 00:16:38,723 And if...if I could ask one favour? 400 00:16:38,763 --> 00:16:39,763 Sure. 401 00:16:39,803 --> 00:16:42,603 If you wouldn't mind not changing his name 402 00:16:42,643 --> 00:16:44,523 because it would be his third name 403 00:16:44,563 --> 00:16:47,203 and it just might be a bit confusing for him. 404 00:16:47,243 --> 00:16:48,843 What was... What was his name again? 405 00:16:48,883 --> 00:16:53,923 Colin. Yeah. 406 00:16:55,043 --> 00:16:57,883 Yeah, it's a weird name for a dog. Mm. 407 00:16:57,923 --> 00:17:00,043 Yeah, don't love it. 408 00:17:00,083 --> 00:17:03,243 Ahh, well, I mean, something then that sounds like, 409 00:17:03,283 --> 00:17:05,963 you know, ah, like Corin? 410 00:17:06,003 --> 00:17:07,043 Corin? 411 00:17:08,083 --> 00:17:10,043 Or Gollum? Gollum. 412 00:17:11,763 --> 00:17:13,642 From 'Lord Of The Rings'. Yeah, nah. 413 00:17:13,683 --> 00:17:15,203 What do you want to call him, Berlin? 414 00:17:15,243 --> 00:17:16,323 Peppy! 415 00:17:16,362 --> 00:17:17,723 Are you sure, sweetheart? 416 00:17:17,763 --> 00:17:19,963 Peppy was... Peppy's name. 417 00:17:20,003 --> 00:17:21,803 I want Peppy. 418 00:17:21,843 --> 00:17:25,163 Oh. She does know that... that's not Peppy, though, so... 419 00:17:25,203 --> 00:17:26,603 Of course she does. 420 00:17:26,642 --> 00:17:28,122 But I think if she wants to call him Peppy, 421 00:17:28,163 --> 00:17:29,203 it doesn't matter. 422 00:17:29,243 --> 00:17:32,403 Do you love Peppy, darling? Peppy, come here. Peppy! Peppy! 423 00:17:32,443 --> 00:17:34,323 Oh, Peppy it is. 424 00:17:34,363 --> 00:17:37,963 Yay! Vroom! Vroom! Ahh, no, don't do that. 425 00:17:38,003 --> 00:17:39,243 Can we not... Can we not do that? Vroom! Vroom! 426 00:17:39,283 --> 00:17:42,003 Be gentle, Berlin. Vroom! Vroom! 427 00:17:43,963 --> 00:17:45,883 Stop. How do you make... 428 00:17:45,923 --> 00:17:48,683 Can you be gentle, Berlin. She's being gentle. 429 00:17:49,763 --> 00:17:51,283 He's my dog now. 430 00:17:51,323 --> 00:17:53,523 Peppy! Come on, Peppy! 431 00:18:01,123 --> 00:18:02,843 Thank you for not making it a big goodbye. 432 00:18:02,883 --> 00:18:04,123 It's less traumatic for Peppy. 433 00:18:04,163 --> 00:18:05,803 Yep. Yeah, of course. No, worries. 434 00:18:07,123 --> 00:18:08,163 Yeah. 435 00:18:08,203 --> 00:18:09,923 And just let us know if you've got any questions, 436 00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:11,523 any issues, anything. 437 00:18:11,563 --> 00:18:13,323 Of course. Day or night. 438 00:18:13,363 --> 00:18:15,483 Yeah. I'm sure we'll be fine. 439 00:18:15,523 --> 00:18:16,523 Totally. 440 00:18:16,563 --> 00:18:17,563 Cool, cool. Let's go. 441 00:18:17,603 --> 00:18:19,443 Yeah, and just send some photos when you can. 442 00:18:19,483 --> 00:18:23,443 OK. Well, take care. It was so lovely to meet you both. 443 00:18:23,483 --> 00:18:25,203 Bye-bye! OK, bye. 444 00:18:28,643 --> 00:18:30,123 Was that the right thing to do? 445 00:18:34,323 --> 00:18:35,403 I think so. 446 00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:40,523 Will he be OK? 447 00:18:44,803 --> 00:18:45,883 I mean... 448 00:18:47,763 --> 00:18:50,003 Dogs are pragmatists, you know? I mean... 449 00:18:52,123 --> 00:18:54,923 Yeah, he's special, but he's gonna... 450 00:18:54,963 --> 00:18:58,363 He's gonna love whoever feeds him, won't he? 451 00:18:58,403 --> 00:19:00,043 That was always the deal between humans and dogs. 452 00:19:00,043 --> 00:19:00,603 That was always the deal between humans and dogs. 453 00:19:00,643 --> 00:19:01,963 It's always been the deal, you know? 454 00:19:02,003 --> 00:19:05,523 We let them sit near the campfire and we'd feed them scraps, 455 00:19:05,563 --> 00:19:06,683 and they'd protect us 456 00:19:06,723 --> 00:19:08,763 when the lions were nearby, you know? 457 00:19:08,803 --> 00:19:11,283 So, it's... 458 00:19:11,323 --> 00:19:13,723 it's kind of transactional. 459 00:19:13,763 --> 00:19:17,043 Doesn't make it less real, but it's fine. 460 00:19:17,083 --> 00:19:18,163 He'll be happy. 461 00:19:18,203 --> 00:19:19,963 Yeah, but we loved him. 462 00:19:20,003 --> 00:19:21,843 Yeah. Yeah. 463 00:19:21,883 --> 00:19:24,883 (PHONE RINGS) 464 00:19:26,923 --> 00:19:27,923 Hi, Mum. 465 00:19:27,963 --> 00:19:29,763 Ashley, where are you? 466 00:19:29,803 --> 00:19:31,963 I'm just with Gordon. What's going on? 467 00:19:32,003 --> 00:19:33,963 Something's happened. I need you. 468 00:19:34,003 --> 00:19:36,403 What's happened? Are you... Are you OK? 469 00:19:36,443 --> 00:19:39,643 No, I'm not. It's Lee. 470 00:19:39,683 --> 00:19:41,043 Please come here. I need you. 471 00:19:41,083 --> 00:19:43,083 OK, OK, OK, just breathe. Breathe, Mum. 472 00:19:43,123 --> 00:19:45,083 OK, I'll be there soon. 473 00:19:46,483 --> 00:19:48,843 What's wrong? Oh, fuck knows. 474 00:19:48,883 --> 00:19:51,843 It's like she knew that I was having a moment. 475 00:19:51,883 --> 00:19:54,883 (SOFT MUSIC) 476 00:20:08,323 --> 00:20:09,403 OK. 477 00:20:14,003 --> 00:20:15,603 I'd better go see what's up with Mum. 478 00:20:15,643 --> 00:20:16,963 Yeah. 479 00:20:17,003 --> 00:20:18,283 You OK? Yeah. 480 00:20:25,563 --> 00:20:26,843 I guess I'll see you round? 481 00:20:26,883 --> 00:20:27,963 Yeah, definitely. 482 00:20:30,883 --> 00:20:32,283 Is that it? 483 00:20:32,323 --> 00:20:33,403 What? 484 00:20:35,643 --> 00:20:36,683 OK. 485 00:20:38,083 --> 00:20:40,563 Well, I...I...I have to go. Bye, Gordon. 486 00:20:42,803 --> 00:20:44,123 Ciao for now. 487 00:20:51,523 --> 00:20:55,763 I said, "No, Lee, it's not spam." 488 00:20:55,803 --> 00:20:57,043 It's all over Facebook. 489 00:20:57,083 --> 00:20:58,203 Everyone can see 490 00:20:58,243 --> 00:21:00,043 how many Candy Crush games you've played. 491 00:21:00,043 --> 00:21:00,963 how many Candy Crush games you've played. 492 00:21:01,003 --> 00:21:04,643 He's played literally hundreds of Candy Crush games 493 00:21:04,683 --> 00:21:07,123 with this 21-year-old Korean girl, 494 00:21:07,163 --> 00:21:09,723 but he kept saying it was spam. 495 00:21:09,763 --> 00:21:12,283 Oh, you're joking, Mum. 496 00:21:12,323 --> 00:21:14,243 But then I went through his phone, 497 00:21:14,283 --> 00:21:16,203 and she's all through his chatsnap as well. 498 00:21:16,243 --> 00:21:18,723 And he's been sending her money, my money. 499 00:21:18,763 --> 00:21:21,203 And it's been going on for months. 500 00:21:21,243 --> 00:21:23,963 Oh, my god. Mum, I'm so sorry. 501 00:21:24,003 --> 00:21:25,363 You were right about him, Ashley. 502 00:21:28,363 --> 00:21:29,803 You were. 503 00:21:29,843 --> 00:21:34,203 Well, you know, I'm...I'm sorry that I was right. 504 00:21:34,243 --> 00:21:36,723 No, I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you. 505 00:21:36,763 --> 00:21:38,883 I'm sorry that I believed him and not you. 506 00:21:38,923 --> 00:21:40,523 You are my family. 507 00:21:40,563 --> 00:21:41,603 It's OK, Mum. 508 00:21:41,643 --> 00:21:44,123 No, it's not OK. You're my only family. 509 00:21:45,803 --> 00:21:50,083 I love you so much, Ashley Maree. 510 00:21:50,123 --> 00:21:51,283 Oh, Mummy. 511 00:21:53,963 --> 00:21:55,683 (PHONE RINGS) Oh. 512 00:21:57,083 --> 00:21:59,803 Oh, I've gotta take this. 513 00:21:59,843 --> 00:22:00,043 Just make yourself comfortable, darling. 514 00:22:00,043 --> 00:22:01,283 Just make yourself comfortable, darling. 515 00:22:01,323 --> 00:22:02,523 This could take a while. 516 00:22:04,843 --> 00:22:07,163 Well, what have you got to say for yourself? 517 00:22:08,563 --> 00:22:10,643 Don't call me if you're going to lie to me. 518 00:22:38,883 --> 00:22:41,883 (SOBS) 519 00:22:47,483 --> 00:22:52,363 Gordy, you left the window open. 520 00:22:52,403 --> 00:22:54,123 Ahh, fuck it. 521 00:23:12,883 --> 00:23:15,683 Are you crying about us or are you crying about Colin? 522 00:23:16,723 --> 00:23:19,763 Ahh, oh, it's everything. 523 00:23:19,803 --> 00:23:23,763 If it were like a pie chart, 524 00:23:23,803 --> 00:23:24,843 what would it look like? 525 00:23:26,083 --> 00:23:27,163 Um... 526 00:23:30,003 --> 00:23:32,203 I don't know. It's a lot. 527 00:23:33,763 --> 00:23:34,843 It's just, um... 528 00:23:37,003 --> 00:23:39,083 this is a once in a year cry, you know. 529 00:23:40,923 --> 00:23:43,323 What's the saddest thing though? 530 00:23:43,363 --> 00:23:44,963 Does it matter? 531 00:23:45,003 --> 00:23:46,003 Well, yeah, 532 00:23:46,043 --> 00:23:48,403 'cause I was just going to have a little cry too and... 533 00:23:48,443 --> 00:23:49,723 Were you? Yeah. 534 00:23:49,763 --> 00:23:51,563 I mean, it wasn't going to be like 535 00:23:51,603 --> 00:23:54,483 an Irish keening like what you're doing, 536 00:23:54,523 --> 00:23:55,963 but you know, 537 00:23:56,003 --> 00:23:59,283 'cause I just have lots of little cries throughout the year. 538 00:23:59,323 --> 00:24:00,043 What was yours about? 539 00:24:00,043 --> 00:24:00,403 What was yours about? 540 00:24:01,843 --> 00:24:02,923 Pie chart-wise. 541 00:24:04,843 --> 00:24:06,323 I asked you first. 542 00:24:08,403 --> 00:24:09,483 Um... 543 00:24:12,803 --> 00:24:14,843 I think I accidentally opened my heart 544 00:24:14,883 --> 00:24:16,643 to a crippled dog... 545 00:24:18,483 --> 00:24:21,163 And then you slipped through the opening at the same time. 546 00:24:26,003 --> 00:24:28,123 If this is falling in love, I really don't like it. 547 00:24:28,163 --> 00:24:31,363 I'm not a fan 'cause it's exhausting. 548 00:24:36,603 --> 00:24:38,643 I feel a bit like I'm going insane. 549 00:24:40,003 --> 00:24:42,243 Do you? Yeah. 550 00:24:42,283 --> 00:24:44,163 That's nice. Is it? 551 00:24:49,003 --> 00:24:50,083 So, what do we do? 552 00:24:52,003 --> 00:24:55,003 (SOFT MUSIC) 553 00:25:04,883 --> 00:25:06,763 I think we go get our dog back. 554 00:25:06,803 --> 00:25:08,523 Oh, thank god. 555 00:25:08,563 --> 00:25:09,603 Let's do it. 556 00:25:12,523 --> 00:25:15,723 I hated that fucking family. Oh, they were fucked. 557 00:25:17,003 --> 00:25:19,283 Who calls their kid Berlin? Wankers. 558 00:25:22,003 --> 00:25:23,723 How are we gonna get him back? Oh, I don't know. 559 00:25:23,763 --> 00:25:25,443 We'll...we'll figure it out on the way. 560 00:25:27,403 --> 00:25:28,963 We are gonna make that little girl cry though. 561 00:25:30,243 --> 00:25:34,323 Good. 562 00:25:41,203 --> 00:25:44,443 # I ain't got time To roll the beast down 563 00:25:44,483 --> 00:25:47,843 # But if I don't then How I'm gon' eat? 564 00:25:47,883 --> 00:25:51,203 # I'm doing just fine With all of this pride 565 00:25:51,243 --> 00:25:54,603 # I'm lucky I got somewhere to sleep 566 00:25:54,643 --> 00:25:58,003 # I'm living on the word Of other peoples' promises 567 00:25:58,043 --> 00:26:00,043 # That I don't think They even gon' keep 568 00:26:00,083 --> 00:26:01,163 # They not gon' keep 569 00:26:01,203 --> 00:26:04,523 # But they said I could "move in" And "don't worry about the rent" 570 00:26:04,563 --> 00:26:07,843 # But they really want me out On the streets 571 00:26:07,883 --> 00:26:09,643 # If they show you who they are 572 00:26:09,683 --> 00:26:11,483 # You better believe them now 573 00:26:11,523 --> 00:26:14,723 # 'Cause if you don't You're gonna have problems 574 00:26:14,763 --> 00:26:16,443 # You wanna worry around 575 00:26:16,483 --> 00:26:18,243 # And put yourself in the ground 576 00:26:18,283 --> 00:26:20,683 # 'Cause that's what happens When you allow them... # 577 00:26:20,723 --> 00:26:21,723 (CHORUS) 578 00:26:21,763 --> 00:26:24,083 # But it ain't that type of party 579 00:26:24,123 --> 00:26:25,123 # Oh, no 580 00:26:25,163 --> 00:26:27,123 # Imma' make it baby, You're gonna see 581 00:26:27,163 --> 00:26:28,163 # Gonna see 582 00:26:28,203 --> 00:26:29,403 # 'Cause it ain't that. # 583 00:26:29,443 --> 00:26:32,443 Captioned by Ai-Media ai-media.tv