SHARING THEIR FUNNIEST STORIES, WITHIN A DRAMA!
IF IT ISN'T FUNNY
THEY WILL BE CUT FROM THE DRAMA
But then it all dissolved.
WHO WILL MAKE IT TO THE END OF THE SHOW?
What if it's to distract us from another crime unfolding in the station?
-Crime? Like what? -He looks like a zombie.
He's really trying to sell his acting.
It's cute.
Did you just say, "It's cute"?
What? They're dead!
They were killed off with an explosion?
Bahamut?
-What does "Bahamut" mean? -"Bahamut"?
This is so scary!
Give it here!
It's scary but it's entertaining.
"TS"?
It can't be…
"It can't be"?
It's Saiki! It's Toshiya Saiki.
Did you enjoy…
my present?
No way…
I see.
You've got to be kidding me!
Tell me this is all a lie!
There's nothing you can believe in.
Right now, this country…
is depressingly dominated by irrationality.
So…
it needs to be destroyed once.
He's plotting something.
You've noticed this too, right?
It doesn't justify taking people's lives.
-Nagabuchi. -In fact,
there's no good reason
to hurt someone, to begin with.
He just wants to sound like Nagabuchi.
Even you…
used to think that, didn't you?
He's watched Tombo too many times.
I thought we could be friends.
In that case,
let's have a competition.
Don't worry, it's a simple game.
A game, you say?
That was a long pause.
The next place I'm going to blow up…
is here.
-Ta-Ob-Ta-Ser-Ta-Va-Ta-To-Ta-Ry. -What?
Oh, the hint is to remove the "ta's."
The hint is removing "ta."
So it's "Observatory."
That was fast.
What the hell is this?
What is this riddle…
trying to tell me?
It's obvious!
If you can't solve this riddle, it'll be game over for you.
Even more people will lose their lives.
He doesn't know what the answer is either?
-Did he just get it? -What's wrong, Sakurai?
Sakurai must have realized.
He's being left behind. How lame!
Where…
Where are you going, Sakurai?
To the observatory.
What an idiot.
EPISODE 6 ESCAPE FROM A LABYRINTH
Another drone shot.
That's beautiful! Wow!
What a cool shot.
OBSERVATORY
Is the culprit there?
This is so scary.
They only have 30 minutes.
ANSWER: OBSERVATORY
We already know the answer is the observatory.
I need to notify the bomb squad immediately.
What?
Who is that?
Wait, what? What's going on?
Seriously, that punk!
That was reckless of him.
He'll live.
No matter what happens.
-Daigo… -Sakurai!
What?
He's back.
Sakurai…
Are you okay?
No. They got us.
The riddle was a trick to lure us, detectives, to where the bomb was
so that they can trap and wipe us out.
What did you say?
You said "trap us," but you're right here.
Just before the electronic lock closed…
someone took my place
and is now trapped inside the observatory.
What did you say?
Yeah. No matter what I do, the door doesn't budge at all.
Hey. Who are you?
-Right now, I'm a nobody. -It's Higashide!
I'm just a regular, unemployed person.
-Sudo, why? -It was Higashide!
I couldn't let the door close on my sweet junior's future
when you're just getting started.
So he wasn't a bad guy.
Did you say this was Daigo from SIT II?
I'm entrusting you with the rest.
-What's going to happen to him? -Don't give up yet!
He's in quite the predicament.
Sakurai.
The reason I wanted to become the kind of detective that never gives up,
is because of what I saw in you.
Is there any other way?
Can't you do something to get out of there?
There are no windows and the room is completely sealed.
If there was a way, it would be…
That's…
What is it?
-What happened? -Hang on.
I'm going to switch to a video call.
It looks like this bomb is controlled by an AI.
Time bomb. Twenty minutes until detonation.
What?
-This is bad! -Twenty minutes? Hang on.
An AI, huh? How do we deactivate it?
We just need to hack into it.
-Hang on! -Who are you?
-Kasuga. -Kasuga!
-Audrey Kasuga. -Kasuga's involved all of a sudden?
I'm an agent with the United States of America's pride and joy,
the Central Intelligence Agency.
His character is American?
What is the CIA doing here?
-He's a CIA agent. -There.
The hack was successful.
Now we need to use its deep learning function against itself.
What?
We need to confuse the AI by teaching it something incomprehensible.
Teach the AI something incomprehensible?
I get it.
Everyone, you need to tell it foolish stories!
Foolish stories.
Something an AI could never comprehend.
The type of foolish story only a human could understand.
That's right.
Everyone,
share your most foolish story.
Agent Kasuga, can you share some too?
He's been put on the spot to share witty one-liners.
Of course.
FOOLISH STORIES
Foolish stories, huh…
Foolish stories.
What the hell is this topic, "foolish stories"?
We're six episodes in.
-A foolish story, right? -A foolish story.
I did a location shoot at a haunted place.
During the shoot, slowly but surely,
my back and shoulders started to feel hot.
I thought, "Shit! A spirit must be latching onto me."
So I talked to a medium about it.
The medium stroked my back and said…
"You have sticky hand warmers on you."
That is foolish.
-That was a real, proper, foolish story. -That was good.
That's good, right? Don't you guys think so?
-It's good. -It's good.
-Give it your best foolish story. -A foolish story!
A truly foolish story.
Because it'll confuse the AI.
May I?
Kasuga.
I was using VR while laying down at home.
He stopped trying to sound like a foreigner.
I was so into what I was watching,
that when my pet dog climbed onto my stomach,
I was really surprised.
-That is so foolish. -So foolish.
I'd expect nothing less.
Like, "Oh!"
A foolish story only someone trained in America could tell.
-I was surprised. -That one was impressive.
-Be careful, everyone. Be careful. -An authentic American example.
Foolishness that shows he was trained in America.
You don't need frills or a punchline.
My turn now.
When I was working with Kiyoshi Nishikawa,
one of the guests was a female idol who's active in Hakata.
"I'm actually multiracial."
Kiyoshi responded by saying,
"You should…
come work at Yoshimoto."
He really has a thing for multiracial people.
-Don't go for that guy. -So foolish.
-So foolish.
Don't call Kiyoshi "that guy."
Can I?
There he goes.
One time, when I came home from Odaiba by car,
Daigo was in the passenger seat.
And then…
-I entered into a spiral curve -Oh, yeah. Those things.
without dropping my driving speed,
Daigo said…
"Could you slow down a bit, Iwai?"
When I glanced over at Daigo…
he was holding onto the handle above and trembling.
That is foolish.
-That's a kind of foolishness too. -I see.
You're the type to take the underground when coming back from Odaiba, huh?
I use the underground.
The spiral curve is underground.
-May I go? -Oh, Watanabe.
This is a story from when I went to a blowjob bar.
What the hell?
While I was receiving the service,
it kind of felt hot inside the lady's mouth.
I started feeling tingly.
So I said, "It feels a bit tingly."
"Sorry…
I just ate an eight-spice level curry at CoCo Ichibanya."
-That's what she said. -That's foolish.
So foolish.
The only people who don't shorten the term "pink salon" are from the 80s.
That was a pretty strong story, though.
-That one was good. -Yeah.
Level eight spice is impressive.
Level eight is spicy.
Not too long ago…
I met a woman who was very
sexually proactive.
Okay.
When we were about to get it on for real,
she would lay me on the bed,
grab lotion with her hands…
Oh, the kind of woman who has that stuff.
And then she'd put it on like this, on the bed as well.
I felt like an okonomiyaki getting dressed in mayonnaise.
All over?
-All over. -So foolish.
That definitely would've been good then.
Lucky you.
So foolish!
May I as well?
Hiccorohee.
I always thought the best cigarettes were American Spirit.
But…
The one with the best-tasting cigarette butts is
Lark.
I came to realize that.
Not many people smoke cigarette butts.
When I ate cold silken tofu curds the other day at home,
my hand slipped, and I spilled it on the floor.
Oh, no…
I started rinsing it with water, thinking I could eat it if I rinsed it.
But then it all dissolved.
So foolish.
I'd expect nothing less.
It's so nonsensical that it's funny.
It's silken tofu, so obviously that's what would happen.
I was surprised.
Kasuga's good at this.
He is.
This topic is his specialty.
I could listen to this forever.
-This is about my partner, Masanori. -Here he comes.
Masanori. The bald one.
There was a time when he only had 40 yen.
I wanted to see what a wallet with only 40 yen in it looked like.
I said, "Let me see your wallet," and looked inside.
There was 20 yen and an earwig.
I'm not sure if he thought the earwig was 20 yen.
I wasn't able to ask him that.
It's so foolish that it's funny.
Watanabe is funny.
My friends and I decided to have a takoyaki party.
I was in charge of buying all the ingredients.
-Nonsense. -This seems like it's going to be foolish.
-Actually, that wasn't the foolish part.
No, it's already foolish.
Well, you have to have good taste to be in charge of buying ingredients.
For example, the kimchi to go inside the takoyaki fillings.
Or maybe even the Baby Star snack.
I went with my instinct and bought a bunch of ingredients.
I brought them back, feeling so confident.
And then…
I forgot to buy the main ingredient, octopus.
So foolish!
-So foolish. -So foolish.
How about that one?
That was a simple and clean foolish story.
Now, that's a foolish story.
-A purely foolish story. -The quintessential foolish story.
He was talking with so much momentum.
Even though the punchline was weak.
-That's good, right? -That's good.
That's exactly what we're looking for.
-Just like that. -Just like that?
Just like that.
The system is becoming erratic.
-Good job, Kano! -That was sudden.
-You did good. -Yes!
Okay. May I?
Go for it.
Back in the day, I used to ride a scooter.
It was getting pretty used,
so it wouldn't start unless I pushed it forward at the same time.
I wanted to go to a convenience that was a bit too far to walk to.
"Convenience"?
-So I went, pushing my scooter along. -Why didn't he just say "corner store"?
It never started, so I ended up walking all the way to the corner store.
-So foolish! -Just like this.
So foolish! He's so good at this.
It's foolish, but calling a corner store "convenience" is pretty funny.
-That's true. -But the second time was "corner store."
That part is extremely foolish.
-It was foolish? -It was foolish.
Maybe he hadn't completely shed his American character yet.
The other day, I went fishing for a location shoot.
I caught a monstrous-sized…
sea bream measuring around 60 centimeters.
Everyone went wild!
Right.
Right when they said, "Only a few minutes left,"
Nobu caught a highly venomous purple jellyfish.
-Who are you calling foolish? -It felt as if it was scripted.
I was so embarrassed.
We were competing.
Daigo and I were having a fishing competition,
and I caught a jellyfish that looked really purple.
Back to the story about haunted places…
This time, it happened at a different place.
Okay.
As the shoot went on, this time, my legs started feeling heavier.
I thought, "Shit! A spirit must be latching onto me."
So I talked to the medium. Then they told me…
"That's because we just went up a slight incline."
So foolish.
-So foolish. -The ground is foolish.
Really foolish.
I cannot understand humans.
Humans
are crazy.
Oh, good! The AI's broken.
The AI's confused.
-Good going. -One moment…
Deactivated!
The door's open.
The bomb stopped too.
-Oh, I'm so glad. -Thank god!
-Kano's two stories must have worked. -Sudo, get out of there right away!
Hang on.
What? What is it?
What's this?
What now?
What? What happened?
I'm scared!
What's this?
Bahamut. Warning.
The call to the observatory has been disconnected too.
That's got to be bad.
What the hell happened?
I thought it was deactivated.
I just can't seem to get past this security feature.
Thanks for solving it for me, detectives.
It can't be…
It was a trap by Saiki. He used them.
Citizen Surveillance System activating.
-I see. -Citizen Surveillance System?
It's something the National Police Agency was rumored to be developing in secret.
All citizens are surveilled,
and bad people are automatically identified and eliminated by an AI.
It's a terrifying program.
So…
it had been completed!
He's back in his American character all of a sudden.
You're saying that guy hijacked it?
Target attack level…
All police officers.
Hey!
Isn't there a password to shut the system down?
There should be a voice-activated password.
-Save Higashide! -Yeah.
This must be it.
HINT: SOMETHING SHOCKING THAT SOMEONE TOLD YOU
Our only option is to guess the password using the hint.
-A hint? -Guesswork, huh?
It's better than dying.
Everyone,
use the hint to enter the password by voice.
This is the hint.
What is something shocking that someone told you?
Oh, I see. The topic has been given.
WORDS I'VE BEEN SHOCKED BY
Who's going to go first?
-May I go for it then? -Oh, Kano!
This is from when Yoshio Kojima and I did a live talk show.
An elementary school student who was waiting for me to exit said…
"If this is what it was going to be like, I should've just gone to my karate class."
That would be shocking.
I guess it wasn't funny.
That would be shocking.
How can you be less interesting than a karate class?
-I'll go then. -Go for it.
A staff member said this to me during our first-ever meeting.
"Who is more senior between you and Desuyo.?"
That's humiliating.
I was shocked.
-That would be shocking. -They were looking down at you.
I was looked down upon, indeed.
-"I was looked down upon, indeed." -Oh, my…
DESUYO.'S 20TH YEAR AS A COMEDIAN KENKOBA'S 29TH YEAR AS A COMEDIAN
May I?
-I like this. This is a good topic. -I like it. It's funny.
This…
is what a foreigner working at a kebab shop said to me.
"You work!"
Rude!
That's rude.
I wonder why that was said to him.
My senior treated me to a taxi ride.
And after I had talked for a long time,
my senior told me something that shocked me.
"Morita…
Did you eat shit?"
His breath must have really stunk.
Must have been considerably so.
After that, the taxi driver said, "Right?"
It must have permeated through the whole car.
-That's shocking. -It happens to us all every year at least.
Can I go then?
-This was about eight years ago. -That's a long time ago.
This was an offhanded comment a girl said to me.
"The kind of bumps you get on your penis are on your lips."
You need to take antibiotics.
This happened when I didn't go home on a regular basis
and I come home after drinking too much and sleep until noon.
My 5-year-old daughter once quickly opened the door,
poked me with a long pole
from the other side of the room and told me this.
What?
"Why did you come home, Baikinman?"
-It's shocking. -What is your daughter saying to you?
It's shocking.
Once you get married, make sure you go home.
Your daughter must dislike you a lot to call you Baikinman.
Baikinman…
I'm going to change the hint.
What is a compliment you will be happy to receive?
It's the opposite now.
Don't you think that's hard?
And it's got to be funny too.
Can I share one that made me happy?
A compliment I was happy to receive.
-Oh, Daigo. -Please.
This happened…
this morning.
It was something Kenkoba said to me.
"Hey, Daigo."
"Did you change your hairstyle?"
"The back of your head is super cute from the back."
It's grown, just a bit.
-And that made him happy? -That's true, it has grown a bit.
No one usually notices.
All the makeup artists who were listening to that also said, "So cute!"
That made me happy.
But what Daigo said back was,
"Don't say that. I can't help but smirk."
That's cute.
When things were getting hot
with a woman I met who was very sexually proactive--
You surprisingly meet a lot of women.
When she took a
plaster-looking thing from her bag,
this is what she said to me.
Plaster?
"Can I take a mold of you?"
-Why does she want that? -Wow. That's impressive.
There's a copy of my penis in the city.
You let her take it?
I did.
Why does she want that?
This…
was something simple that was said to me at a hostess club that made me happy.
"So… You're 38 years old?"
At the time…
I was 41.
That sounds sad.
No one ever told you you're young.
I see. Someone guessed that he was younger than he was.
Can I answer based on my imagination?
-Imagination? -Imagination?
-Well, let's hear it anyway.
Can it be something I'd be happy to hear the staff say to me after a performance?
From your imagination?
"Good work today."
"The production staff were exploding with laughter."
That's from his imagination.
-That would make me happy. -That would make me happy.
-That's from his imagination. -That would be nice.
Yes, especially for comedians.
Could it be from my imagination?
-Is this the Imagination Series now? -Your imagination?
Something I imagine I'd be happy to hear from the production staff
who went out drinking with Wakabayashi.
"Wakabayashi was talking about you the whole time, Kasuga."
I bet that'd make me happy.
-So cute. -So cute.
What a nice story.
And you're fine with just that?
It'd be more than enough.
-Because he's not complimented often. -So cute.
-Because he's not complimented directly. -Oh, no…
I'm going to change the hint again.
-What? -What?
Say something normal in a loud voice.
-Something normal? -Something normal?
Say something normal in a loud voice?
We're being asked to say something normal?
That's the most difficult thing for us.
-The topic's getting harder and harder. -Go for it.
It is hard.
Okay, may I?
Say something normal in a loud voice.
Anything with tuna in it is delicious!
That's true.
-That's true. It is delicious. -It's the case for rice balls.
I'll try saying something.
Indent the middle when you fry hamburger steaks!
That's normal.
That's really normal.
-Something like this. -Something like that.
Maybe it's something like this?
Say something normal in a loud voice.
-Can I? -Yeah.
What's this look on this face?
A pause this long makes everyone feel uneasy.
-It does. -That's true.
It does. It just did.
-I wondered what happened. -It's true.
Everyone felt uneasy.
-We felt uneasy, didn't we? -It makes you want to jump in to help.
It just has to be something normal.
I'm going to say something normal.
It won't shine if you don't apply a varnish!
That's funny.
Can I as well?
The most cheerful female staff on set…
is the AP!
That's true.
-That's true. -On comedy show sets.
That's part of the job after all.
That's true.
Can I say something?
There he goes. This will be good.
Listen! If you keep holding your breath like that,
you'll die.
-That's foolish. -So foolish.
-One person is still on the foolish topic. -So foolish.
The foolish segment ended already.
-Hey. It's over. -We already cleared the foolish portion.
Can you say anything foolish?
Something foolish?
-Something foolish? -Something foolish?
Now it's "something foolish"?
-We've gone back to the first topic. -We screwed up.
We're stuck in an endless loop.
Agent Kasuga.
-Agent Kasuga. -Kasuga.
-Can he say something foolish? -Something foolish.
When you step into a stand-up tanning bed,
if you don't tan with your legs spread open,
the ball sack will stick to your inner thigh, leaving only that spot white.
That's foolish.
-What are you saying? -Who are you even saying that to?
So foolish.
Is that the end then?
So kind.
What kind of AI would ask something like that?
The AI's not supposed to deliver the punchline.
Is it over then?
-Can I try saying something? -Go ahead.
Please say something foolish.
Back when I barely had any work,
there was a senior of mine who had some money.
I thought if I followed that person, I'd be treated to some food. So, I did.
That person went into a family restaurant, and so did I.
The waiter came and took our orders.
My senior ordered, and the waiter asked for mine.
I asked, "Senior, can I?" This is what they said.
"I'm not treating you today no matter what."
I said to the waiter,
"I don't have money."
And the waiter said, "Okay, curry rice."
-That's so foolish. -That's impressive.
-You've got so many. -Wow.
-You had the perfect one. -You did.
You're like a frequent respondent to a radio or TV program.
It's just the perfect amount too.
He has so many foolish episodes.
We did it!
It's unlocked.
-It's unlocked. -Because of that?
It's all thanks to Kano.
Kano unlocked it.
-That's great. -The surveillance system is shutting down.
We did it!
It's a victory for us humans!
That foolish story unlocked it.
Oh, Judgement Time.
Hang on. What's this?
Morita
and Kenkoba
will
be eliminated…
-What? -What? Why?
-What's the meaning of this? -It can't be.
The AI is taking Morita and Kenkoba with it
by stopping the pacemakers in their chest.
-What? -What?
Now what?
That sucks!
They're being killed off again.
-Kenkoba! -Kenkoba.
When I think about the pay…
I wish I was in at least one more episode.
-He's talking about his pay? -Pay?
I'm pretty exhausted,
so right about now suits me.
Hey!
So honest.
What are you thinking?
Tell me.
I told you we're friends.
Aren't we?
Hey!
Saiki.
He's acting like Nagabuchi again.
"Minamoto no Yoshinaka…"
-Oh, we're back at school. -"Was the first to defeat the large army…"
This is Takahashi, the heroine.
Hitori's making an appearance again!
He never shows himself anymore, does he?
Saiki, I mean.
Toshiya…
didn't do anything.
I'm sure he'll bring him back with him…
along with the truth.
Even if that turns out to be…
a sad ending.
He's been stabbed!
That's so scary!
Hey!
It's been a long time.
So they're acquaintances?
This is so scary!
Does that mean Daigo's been eliminated?
Wait, what's going to happen?
Who is it? Who is this?
-What? -What?
It's Takahashi?
-This is scaring me! -The heroine?
The heroine stabbed him?
What is this interesting drama?
The SIT II…
I'm sorry, but I'm going to be using you guys for a while.
So he's a bad guy?
It's all for the purpose I'm meant to fulfill.
Hang on!
There's a lot of foreshadowing going on,
but can they really make it all come together?
There's so much foreshadowing.
Wow.
Listening to Eiko and Kasuga's stories…
Yes.
…makes me realize I've taken my career as a comedian too seriously.
It made me dislike how trapped I am in making sure there's a through-line.
You might have lost to their power then.
Yes, that's what that means.
-And, Morita. -Yes.
Based on the production costs of a show this grand…
Yes?
It seems really good when I estimate my pay.
How impolite.
As someone who runs a one-man talent agency,
I really wanted to be in at least one more episode.
I bet.
Subtitle translation by: Rachel Hillcoat