1 00:00:12,612 --> 00:00:15,015 (rousing rock music plays) 2 00:00:36,569 --> 00:00:39,072 (music intensifies) 3 00:00:47,580 --> 00:00:48,615 (Shoresy): Fer what? 4 00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:50,016 Starting a brawl in the stands. 5 00:00:50,016 --> 00:00:51,451 It was clearly our booster club. 6 00:00:51,451 --> 00:00:53,987 Everybody knows the Bluester Club's ready to rip. 7 00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:55,488 You can't suspend him for the final game 8 00:00:55,488 --> 00:00:56,923 for something that happened in the stands. 9 00:00:56,923 --> 00:00:59,225 Yes, we can, that's why we're here. Ready to vote? 10 00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:00,927 All right, hang on. Let's do this diplomatically. 11 00:01:00,927 --> 00:01:02,495 Don't be such a fuckin' nerd, Gord. 12 00:01:02,495 --> 00:01:03,863 - Shoresy! - We've got a rep present 13 00:01:03,863 --> 00:01:05,832 from all participating teams. I think the Bulldogs 14 00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:07,100 should be able to plead their case, 15 00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:08,334 we'll all get a chance to weigh in, 16 00:01:08,334 --> 00:01:10,070 and from there, we'll make a decision. Cool? 17 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,504 - Cool. - Cool. 18 00:01:11,504 --> 00:01:13,306 - Fellas? - Pardon? 19 00:01:13,306 --> 00:01:15,308 - Moving right along. - All right, Shoresy. 20 00:01:15,308 --> 00:01:17,510 - She reps the Bulldogs. - I rep the Bulldogs. 21 00:01:17,510 --> 00:01:19,913 Then rep the Bulldogs. We've got a final to play. 22 00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,815 Here are the facts. The Bulldogs and the Hunt 23 00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:24,451 were playing a hockey game last night. The Bulldogs won. 24 00:01:24,451 --> 00:01:26,553 The Hunt are now eliminated from the tournament, 25 00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:28,254 and the Bulldogs advance to the final 26 00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:30,056 against Les Rapides de Rawdon. 27 00:01:30,056 --> 00:01:31,624 - That's it? - That's all that matters. 28 00:01:31,624 --> 00:01:34,194 - Delaney, we'll go to you. - I want him drug tested. 29 00:01:34,194 --> 00:01:35,662 - Fuck you, Shoresy. - Look at him. 30 00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:37,030 He's fuckin' sniffin' yak. 31 00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:38,531 We were up 3-0. Shoresy started 32 00:01:38,531 --> 00:01:40,533 a brawl in the stands that affected the game on the ice. 33 00:01:40,533 --> 00:01:42,702 - Physically impossible. - They came back and won. 34 00:01:42,702 --> 00:01:45,038 Sure that wasn't an acid flashback, ya fuckin' loser? 35 00:01:45,038 --> 00:01:46,739 It was a clear attempt to disrupt the game. 36 00:01:46,739 --> 00:01:48,408 Bit of a sour grapes bias here, people. 37 00:01:48,408 --> 00:01:50,076 We had to pause play for 20 minutes. 38 00:01:50,076 --> 00:01:51,511 Well, you're lucky you didn't K-hole, Delaney. 39 00:01:51,511 --> 00:01:53,046 All right, so you'd vote to suspend him 40 00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:54,714 for the final game? - Yes. 41 00:01:55,081 --> 00:01:57,217 (Gord): Sly? - No one's ever given a shit 42 00:01:57,217 --> 00:01:58,485 about senior hockey. 43 00:01:58,485 --> 00:02:00,386 This tournament's internationally broadcasted. 44 00:02:00,386 --> 00:02:02,155 He goes into the stands and starts a fight 45 00:02:02,155 --> 00:02:03,423 in the semi-final game. 46 00:02:03,423 --> 00:02:06,059 You are so fuckin' stunned, Sylvestri. Wow. 47 00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:08,328 - He didn't throw a punch. - He threw a beer. 48 00:02:08,328 --> 00:02:10,763 - A beer got spilt. - It's a bad look for all of us. 49 00:02:10,763 --> 00:02:12,532 (Nat): You were too dirty to play for Boston. 50 00:02:12,532 --> 00:02:14,134 Yeah, check your own backyard, bitch. 51 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,768 I don't think he should play in the final. 52 00:02:15,768 --> 00:02:17,937 That's two for suspend him. Freisens? 53 00:02:17,937 --> 00:02:19,839 - Pardon? - Go ahead. 54 00:02:19,839 --> 00:02:20,773 Where? 55 00:02:20,773 --> 00:02:22,175 I mean, it's your turn to speak. 56 00:02:22,175 --> 00:02:23,910 - Who? - Either or. 57 00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:25,078 Or what? 58 00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:26,746 I mean either one of you can speak. 59 00:02:26,746 --> 00:02:28,681 - Okay. - So, go ahead. 60 00:02:28,681 --> 00:02:30,550 - Where? - Okay, new rule. 61 00:02:31,417 --> 00:02:34,888 You can't vote if you can't count to say, 25. 62 00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:36,623 - I actually agree. - You can't vote 63 00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:39,092 if you don't know what animal goes "oink". 64 00:02:39,092 --> 00:02:40,693 (Nat): Let's keep this moving. 65 00:02:40,693 --> 00:02:42,228 I won't keep you all in suspense here. 66 00:02:42,228 --> 00:02:44,531 My vote's to suspend him. - You're undefeated. 67 00:02:44,531 --> 00:02:46,566 - So are you. - Do you really need this advantage? 68 00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:48,835 No, but I want it. 69 00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,136 All right then. 70 00:02:50,136 --> 00:02:51,738 Shoresy, you're suspended. - Fer what?! 71 00:02:51,738 --> 00:02:53,773 (Gord): Shoresy, you got knocked out cold a few days ago. 72 00:02:53,773 --> 00:02:55,508 - You'd be stupid to play, man. - He knows. 73 00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:57,210 That he's stupid? (both): Fuck you, Delaney. 74 00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:58,511 You're really putting yourself at risk 75 00:02:58,511 --> 00:02:59,612 by playing so soon after. 76 00:02:59,612 --> 00:03:01,447 Don't be such a fuckin' pussy, Gord. 77 00:03:01,447 --> 00:03:03,650 - Why do you want this so badly? - Because it's the final 78 00:03:03,650 --> 00:03:05,518 game of the tournament! - Shoresy. 79 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:11,558 And it's his final game ever. 80 00:03:15,061 --> 00:03:16,529 (Jory): I'm Jory Jordan, and this is the Sudbury 81 00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:18,264 Kids Sports Report with breaking news. 82 00:03:18,264 --> 00:03:20,266 {\an8}Marie-Mai is the hottest woman I've ever seen. 83 00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:22,435 {\an8}Also, the worst player on the Sudbury Blueberry Bulldogs 84 00:03:22,435 --> 00:03:24,404 {\an8}will retire after playing his last game in the upcoming 85 00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:25,605 {\an8}tournament final. 86 00:03:25,605 --> 00:03:26,973 Marie-Mai, I'm in love with her. 87 00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:28,541 I'm cut off my own arm in love with her. 88 00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:30,176 I'll never forget the first time I saw that woman. 89 00:03:30,176 --> 00:03:32,078 Her beauty was shocking. Her image became so clearly 90 00:03:32,078 --> 00:03:33,613 etched in my mind, I could close my eyes 91 00:03:33,613 --> 00:03:35,915 and masturbate to it. I could. 92 00:03:35,915 --> 00:03:38,318 But instead I masturbate to what every normal teenager does, 93 00:03:38,318 --> 00:03:40,753 hard-core pornography found for free on the internet. 94 00:03:40,753 --> 00:03:42,388 I know what you're thinkin'. 95 00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:44,190 "Bet I know what he'd like to do to her." 96 00:03:44,190 --> 00:03:45,625 While internet porn has shown me the thrill 97 00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:47,227 of sticking your entire fist in someone's mouth 98 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,828 while they shove their entire fist up your ass. 99 00:03:48,828 --> 00:03:50,496 If given the opportunity, I'd just like to tell Marie-Mai 100 00:03:50,496 --> 00:03:52,465 how highly I regard her. Aside from being beautiful 101 00:03:52,465 --> 00:03:54,534 and multi-talented, she's a devoted mother, 102 00:03:54,534 --> 00:03:56,836 philanthropist, and role model to young people everywhere. 103 00:03:56,836 --> 00:03:59,105 So, what I'd like to do to her? Look her in the eye, 104 00:03:59,105 --> 00:04:01,374 shake her hand, and tell her I respect her. 105 00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:03,309 But here are the wives of the Rawdon Rapids 106 00:04:03,309 --> 00:04:05,044 starting line-up, and what I'd like to do to them. 107 00:04:05,044 --> 00:04:06,312 Chloe Deschamps. 108 00:04:06,312 --> 00:04:07,680 Choking is popular in pornography. 109 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:09,282 Someone's always choking someone. Though I've never had 110 00:04:09,282 --> 00:04:11,251 the desire to choke or be choked. Watching porn 111 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,119 has taught me that Chloe most certainly has. 112 00:04:13,119 --> 00:04:14,520 Genevieve Lachappelle. 113 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:15,855 I saw a video recently of a man 114 00:04:15,855 --> 00:04:16,956 spitting into a woman's mouth, 115 00:04:16,956 --> 00:04:18,224 which she appeared to enjoy immensely. 116 00:04:18,224 --> 00:04:19,692 I can only assume Genevieve would too. 117 00:04:19,692 --> 00:04:21,394 It's always good to say something degrading. 118 00:04:21,394 --> 00:04:23,196 I was raised not to speak disrespectfully to women, 119 00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:24,764 but perhaps Manon could say to me... 120 00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:26,899 (speaking French) 121 00:04:26,899 --> 00:04:28,201 Which loosely translates to, 122 00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:30,069 "Show me your hot hobbit balls." 123 00:04:30,737 --> 00:04:33,139 Coralie Montagne. Let's try a little role-play. 124 00:04:33,139 --> 00:04:34,641 You be the saucy older teacher, 125 00:04:34,641 --> 00:04:36,876 I'll be the much younger student who, judging by his runty frame, 126 00:04:36,876 --> 00:04:39,679 shouldn't have a gigantic penis. But does! 127 00:04:39,679 --> 00:04:41,447 (Tessa): That is so dirty. 128 00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:43,516 The dirtiest player in the tournament, 129 00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:44,951 as advertised. 130 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:47,720 Golfed in the ankle one game. Knocked out cold the next. 131 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:49,722 It's no wonder Shoresy's hangin' 'em up after the final. 132 00:04:49,722 --> 00:04:51,791 - He's too old for this. - RA? 133 00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:53,993 - Who fuckin' cares? - Well, judging by our growing 134 00:04:53,993 --> 00:04:56,596 viewership of the National Senior Tournament broadcast, 135 00:04:56,596 --> 00:04:58,598 a decent amount of people. - Woopty fuckin' doo. 136 00:04:58,598 --> 00:05:00,700 Listen, I'm just gonna say what everyone else is thinking. 137 00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:02,902 It's the physicality. - I can't believe the amount 138 00:05:02,902 --> 00:05:05,305 of fighting in this tournament. - People tune in for it. 139 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,339 They can't help it. 140 00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:07,640 But these are championship games. 141 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,275 It's senior whale shit hockey. 142 00:05:09,275 --> 00:05:10,443 It's bush league. 143 00:05:10,443 --> 00:05:11,577 Who can complain? 144 00:05:11,577 --> 00:05:13,012 Every game has a handful of big goals, 145 00:05:13,012 --> 00:05:15,214 a bunch of big hits, and a fight. 146 00:05:15,214 --> 00:05:16,649 - Two. - Two fights? 147 00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:18,251 Per game. On average. 148 00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:19,452 Okay, that is bush league. 149 00:05:19,452 --> 00:05:21,020 There's a national title on the line. 150 00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:23,189 And they've all gotta go to work in the morning. 151 00:05:23,189 --> 00:05:25,124 Either way, this is hockey the way a lot of people 152 00:05:25,124 --> 00:05:27,493 remember it, and how many people still prefer it. 153 00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:28,961 - More than you'd think. - I'm from Boston, 154 00:05:28,961 --> 00:05:30,930 you're preachin' to the choir. - Tonight, the host 155 00:05:30,930 --> 00:05:32,565 Sudbury Blueberry Bulldogs face off 156 00:05:32,565 --> 00:05:34,600 in the National Senior Tournament final 157 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:36,235 against Les Rapides de Rawdon, 158 00:05:36,235 --> 00:05:38,538 owned by Quebec pop icon, Marie-Mai, 159 00:05:38,538 --> 00:05:41,641 who has declared that if her team wins the fights, 160 00:05:41,641 --> 00:05:44,010 they win the game. As for JJ Frankie JJ-- 161 00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,945 He's the only one of them that isn't hurt. 162 00:05:45,945 --> 00:05:47,113 {\an8}- Physically. - For now. 163 00:05:47,113 --> 00:05:48,281 {\an8}(speaking French) 164 00:05:48,281 --> 00:05:49,248 After this week's explosive 165 00:05:49,248 --> 00:05:50,450 exposé on Hey Vous Autres, 166 00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:52,018 it's safe to say that the big man 167 00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:54,887 will have a very big target on his back. 168 00:05:54,887 --> 00:05:56,723 (Shoresy): Big as the moon. (children giggle) 169 00:05:56,723 --> 00:05:59,025 So big, in fact, that a single Frankie fart 170 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:02,061 can smell like up to four kinds of fast food. 171 00:06:02,061 --> 00:06:03,563 (children laugh) 172 00:06:04,263 --> 00:06:06,332 - Yes. - I switched from Lucky Charms 173 00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:08,601 to Denver omelettes for breakfast 174 00:06:08,601 --> 00:06:10,937 and have much more energy in the morning. 175 00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:12,338 Well, there's a W for you, Nat. 176 00:06:12,338 --> 00:06:13,973 And don't forget what you guys learned 177 00:06:13,973 --> 00:06:16,376 at the Q&A webinar. - And hey, you parents, too, 178 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,444 I don't care whose birthday party it is, 179 00:06:18,444 --> 00:06:20,713 there's such a thing as too many two-liters. 180 00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:21,948 (children laugh) 181 00:06:21,948 --> 00:06:24,584 All right, final words of advice for the kids? 182 00:06:24,584 --> 00:06:26,252 Hitch, why don't we start with you? 183 00:06:26,252 --> 00:06:28,588 I'm not tryin' to tell ya to go out and punch no one 184 00:06:28,588 --> 00:06:30,356 in the head, but if ya does, 185 00:06:30,356 --> 00:06:32,225 ya might get a bit more room out there next time 186 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,927 ya has the puck, b'ys. - There are girls here, too. 187 00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:36,829 - Are there? - Yes. 188 00:06:36,829 --> 00:06:38,431 - Which one's a girl? - Shoresy. 189 00:06:38,431 --> 00:06:39,532 (Michaels): Dolo. 190 00:06:50,543 --> 00:06:51,644 {\an8}(Michaels): Goody. 191 00:06:51,644 --> 00:06:53,279 Make a good first impression 192 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:54,981 and always leave a lasting one. 193 00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:56,482 (players): Nice. Goody. 194 00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:58,351 - He stole it from somewhere. - No, I didn't. 195 00:06:58,351 --> 00:06:59,652 - Yes, you did. - He's smart, wow. 196 00:06:59,652 --> 00:07:00,887 - No, I didn't. - Yes, you did. 197 00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:02,622 Well, as for me, kids, I just say wanna say-- 198 00:07:02,622 --> 00:07:04,624 Michaels, I'm just gonna jump in here real quick. 199 00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:05,792 (children laugh) 200 00:07:05,792 --> 00:07:07,693 Kids, you got a million people in your ear 201 00:07:07,693 --> 00:07:09,228 trying to make it about a million things 202 00:07:09,228 --> 00:07:10,530 other than hockey. 203 00:07:10,530 --> 00:07:13,533 Whether they got ya comin' to the rink to compete 204 00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:17,036 or to play, or to participate, 205 00:07:17,036 --> 00:07:19,305 it's always more fun when you win. 206 00:07:20,139 --> 00:07:22,675 You're gonna lose more times than you can remember. 207 00:07:22,675 --> 00:07:25,111 You'll never forget when you win. 208 00:07:26,579 --> 00:07:28,114 - Thanks, Shoresy. - Don't be losers. 209 00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,482 Okay. (children laugh) 210 00:07:29,482 --> 00:07:31,784 Do you wanna be a winner or do you wanna be a loser? 211 00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:33,319 - That's it for our seminar-- - Go win! 212 00:07:33,319 --> 00:07:36,923 If you do, you'll finally get to fix your stupid haircut. 213 00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:38,825 (children laugh) 214 00:07:39,258 --> 00:07:40,226 Huh. 215 00:07:40,226 --> 00:07:42,695 (players chatter) 216 00:07:42,695 --> 00:07:43,863 (Jill): Hi. Hi. 217 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:45,665 Hi. Shoresy. 218 00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:49,135 Is it cool if I call you that? 219 00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:50,403 - Mm-hmm. - Everybody else 220 00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:51,971 has been calling you that at the seminars. 221 00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:53,506 - Mm-hmm. - And the webinar. 222 00:07:53,506 --> 00:07:54,841 And the webinar. 223 00:07:54,841 --> 00:07:57,243 Your audience doubled, then tripled with these talks. 224 00:07:57,243 --> 00:07:58,945 Must feel good. - For the community, 225 00:07:58,945 --> 00:08:01,948 by the community. - Nice of you guys to give back. 226 00:08:01,948 --> 00:08:03,349 That's what hockey players do. 227 00:08:03,349 --> 00:08:05,818 You know, I've been thinking about something you said. 228 00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:07,453 How people are trying to make hockey 229 00:08:07,453 --> 00:08:10,523 about everything other than hockey. I agree. 230 00:08:10,523 --> 00:08:12,425 Yeah, things are getting a little bit weird, eh? 231 00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:13,960 Everybody needs to stop being weird. 232 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,895 Just stop being weird. 233 00:08:16,362 --> 00:08:19,031 You know, the kids like you. They listen to you. 234 00:08:19,031 --> 00:08:21,267 They shouldn't listen to Michaels. Seriously. 235 00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:22,535 (chuckles) 236 00:08:22,535 --> 00:08:25,605 I'd like them to listen to you more. 237 00:08:26,272 --> 00:08:29,308 We're starting a hockey school with a select group in Sudbury. 238 00:08:29,308 --> 00:08:31,911 You know, trying to get the kids focused on the game again. 239 00:08:31,911 --> 00:08:33,980 Try to get them focused on winning. 240 00:08:34,547 --> 00:08:36,782 And we'd like you to work with them. 241 00:08:37,416 --> 00:08:39,552 Think that's something you'd be into? 242 00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:43,756 No. 243 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,359 Hmm. Okay. Well, 244 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:49,929 think about it for a while and I'll come find you. 245 00:08:51,163 --> 00:08:53,366 (Jory): I'm Jory Jordan and this the Sudbury 246 00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,901 Kids Sports Report Live. 247 00:08:54,901 --> 00:08:57,770 Shoresy, quick word for the SKSR Live? 248 00:08:57,770 --> 00:08:59,839 Well, my ankle's killing me, but fuck it, 249 00:08:59,839 --> 00:09:02,408 this is probably the last time I'll ever have to do this, Jory, 250 00:09:02,408 --> 00:09:04,377 so let's go. - It's good to be with you, 251 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:05,878 Shoresy, I think a lot of people would've just 252 00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:07,113 ended it all by now. - Maybe. 253 00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:08,714 I can only assume you're still reeling from 254 00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:10,082 the NOSHO Cup loss? - Lil' bit. 255 00:09:10,082 --> 00:09:11,584 No inclination to neck a bottle of pills 256 00:09:11,584 --> 00:09:13,219 or make some toast in a bathtub? - Nope. 257 00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:15,788 You let down an entire town, your teammates, and yourself. 258 00:09:15,788 --> 00:09:17,590 What advice do you have for other balding, 40-year-old 259 00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:18,858 losers going through tough times? 260 00:09:18,858 --> 00:09:20,693 - Hang in there, kid. - A positive attitude 261 00:09:20,693 --> 00:09:22,562 is essential for any captain. Tell me, how do you manage 262 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,330 to stay strong while falling short of expectations 263 00:09:24,330 --> 00:09:26,165 over and over? - Well, just gotta pull yourself 264 00:09:26,165 --> 00:09:28,434 up by the bootstraps. - I've heard your recent play 265 00:09:28,434 --> 00:09:29,902 called everything from pitiful to pathetic. 266 00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:31,337 But it's not as pitiful or pathetic 267 00:09:31,337 --> 00:09:32,838 as Frankie's recent subtweeting at Marie-Mai. 268 00:09:32,838 --> 00:09:36,008 - Oh no, what's he saying now? - Today's tweets include, 269 00:09:36,008 --> 00:09:37,877 "Thanks for reminding me why I never open up." 270 00:09:37,877 --> 00:09:39,378 (Shoresy scoffs) - "All I wanted was to be 271 00:09:39,378 --> 00:09:40,913 somebody's somebody." - What? No. 272 00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:43,349 And finally, "I gave her all of me and left none for myself." 273 00:09:43,349 --> 00:09:45,217 - What a loser! - That's all for the Sudbury 274 00:09:45,217 --> 00:09:46,719 Kids Sports Report. - Hey! You really 275 00:09:46,719 --> 00:09:48,187 like this Marie-Mai, eh? 276 00:09:48,187 --> 00:09:50,156 She takes my breath away. With her image. 277 00:09:50,156 --> 00:09:52,158 Though I do also wonder if she'd like to take my breath 278 00:09:52,158 --> 00:09:53,759 away with her hands. - Oh, my God. 279 00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:55,628 That's all for the Sudbury Kids Sports Report Live. 280 00:09:55,628 --> 00:09:57,630 - Oh, my God. - We out? 281 00:09:57,630 --> 00:10:00,499 Hey man, thanks. - Thanks? 282 00:10:00,499 --> 00:10:02,468 A lot of people watch when I have you on. 283 00:10:02,468 --> 00:10:05,338 I'm running a business here and you're good for business. 284 00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:07,106 So, thank you. 285 00:10:14,580 --> 00:10:15,781 (Nat): He didn't say that. 286 00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:17,817 - Fine, he didn't say it. - I don't believe it. 287 00:10:17,817 --> 00:10:19,251 I don't care. 288 00:10:19,752 --> 00:10:21,020 We need Frankie tonight. 289 00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:23,222 Well, Frankie's got a mental battle to win. 290 00:10:23,222 --> 00:10:24,490 (Nat sighs) 291 00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:27,093 - How you feeling? - About what? 292 00:10:28,394 --> 00:10:29,695 How you feeling? 293 00:10:30,529 --> 00:10:32,965 Oh, I could really use a shoulder right now, Nat. 294 00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:34,400 Thanks for asking. - Oh, shut up. 295 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:35,735 There's a lot of things coming up. 296 00:10:35,735 --> 00:10:37,336 You know, a lot of emotions. - Okay, okay. Okay! 297 00:10:37,336 --> 00:10:39,538 I need somewhere to put it. You know, I don't wanna just 298 00:10:39,538 --> 00:10:41,073 bury it like I do everything else. 299 00:10:41,073 --> 00:10:42,608 (Shoresy chuckles) 300 00:10:42,608 --> 00:10:44,276 Well, I'm gonna follow Jory's lead, 301 00:10:44,276 --> 00:10:46,779 and I'm gonna say thank you right now, too. 302 00:10:46,779 --> 00:10:47,913 Fer what? 303 00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:51,183 For always finding a way to contribute. 304 00:10:51,183 --> 00:10:53,519 For dragging this team into the fight. 305 00:10:53,519 --> 00:10:55,454 For giving back to the community. 306 00:10:55,454 --> 00:10:57,923 Well, I know how much that fuckin' means to you. 307 00:10:57,923 --> 00:10:59,091 And for the Bluester Club. 308 00:10:59,091 --> 00:11:01,227 Well, the Bluester Club's ready to rip. 309 00:11:02,194 --> 00:11:04,430 You inspire our guys, man. 310 00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:06,365 You motivate them. 311 00:11:06,365 --> 00:11:07,967 You cook for them. 312 00:11:07,967 --> 00:11:09,802 What's good for the goose. 313 00:11:09,802 --> 00:11:11,470 Thank you. 314 00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:21,447 You gonna cry? (Nat exhales) 315 00:11:21,447 --> 00:11:23,716 You are. You're welling up. I can see it. 316 00:11:23,716 --> 00:11:25,851 - Fuck you, Shoresy. - You can't hide that from me. 317 00:11:25,851 --> 00:11:28,587 Come on, sit down, we'll let it all up together. 318 00:11:28,587 --> 00:11:30,790 We need to stop compartmentalizing. 319 00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:33,225 - You've got press. - Yew! 320 00:11:33,225 --> 00:11:34,960 This is it. (Shoresy): You look this good 321 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:36,095 for all your interviews? 322 00:11:36,095 --> 00:11:37,897 I took a bit of extra time for this one. 323 00:11:37,897 --> 00:11:39,999 My God, woman, you look fantastic. 324 00:11:39,999 --> 00:11:41,534 - Thank you. - How're we gonna get 325 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,636 anything fuckin' done? - Don't worry, I'm a professional. 326 00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,204 - Are you? Huh? - Huh? 327 00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:46,605 A professional with her feet 328 00:11:46,605 --> 00:11:48,340 touching my feet while she's at work? 329 00:11:48,340 --> 00:11:50,109 How long did you plan on playing? 330 00:11:50,109 --> 00:11:51,977 So long as I can fog a mirror. 331 00:11:51,977 --> 00:11:54,013 Well, Bobby Baun played on a broken leg. 332 00:11:54,013 --> 00:11:56,382 Zdeno Chara played with a broken jaw. 333 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:58,784 - Like, wired shut? - If he puked, he would've died. 334 00:11:58,784 --> 00:12:00,786 - Why would he puke? - Well, there's a lot of fuckin' 335 00:12:00,786 --> 00:12:02,955 ugly dudes in the show. - Why would he put himself 336 00:12:02,955 --> 00:12:05,057 at risk like that? - 'Cause hockey players 337 00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:06,792 don't give a fuck. - Apparently. 338 00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:09,328 He would've played with an eye hangin' out of his skull 339 00:12:09,328 --> 00:12:11,097 or a nut hangin' out of his sack. 340 00:12:11,097 --> 00:12:12,798 What're you gonna miss the most? 341 00:12:15,201 --> 00:12:16,902 - The room. - Yeah? 342 00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:18,904 - The boys. - In that order. 343 00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:20,673 Well, and being able to just haul off 344 00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:22,374 and punch some dude in the back of the head 345 00:12:22,374 --> 00:12:23,609 if I don't like what he's doin'. 346 00:12:23,609 --> 00:12:25,544 Think you'll be happy without hockey? 347 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,715 Will you be happy? 348 00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:35,788 ("Serene Demon" by Art d'Ecco plays) 349 00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:04,283 (♪) 350 00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:54,967 (music softens) 351 00:14:02,641 --> 00:14:07,012 ♪ You'll be happy in a little while ♪ 352 00:14:09,081 --> 00:14:13,052 ♪ You'll be happy in a little while ♪ 353 00:14:13,052 --> 00:14:15,421 ♪ So they tell ya ♪ 354 00:14:15,421 --> 00:14:19,625 ♪ You'll be happier in a little while ♪ 355 00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:22,261 ♪ So they tell ya ♪ 356 00:14:22,261 --> 00:14:26,232 ♪ You'll be happier in a little while ♪ 357 00:14:26,232 --> 00:14:28,534 ♪ Oh, they tell ya ♪ 358 00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:32,538 ♪ You'll be happier in little while ♪ 359 00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:36,108 (dramatic inspiring music) 360 00:14:52,024 --> 00:14:54,393 (♪) 361 00:15:11,610 --> 00:15:12,511 (crowd cheers) 362 00:15:12,511 --> 00:15:14,113 (whistle blows) 363 00:15:19,018 --> 00:15:20,452 (crowd shouting) 364 00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:24,256 (indistinct shouting) 365 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,325 (player): Come on, come on, come on! 366 00:15:31,964 --> 00:15:33,632 (crowd jeers) 367 00:15:33,632 --> 00:15:35,434 (Rapides players cheer) 368 00:15:36,302 --> 00:15:37,903 I wanted the first one. 369 00:15:39,471 --> 00:15:40,739 Hey, hey. 370 00:15:43,342 --> 00:15:44,610 (whistle blows) 371 00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:46,278 (crowd jeers) 372 00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:49,315 Take it easy. Two-goal lead is the worst lead in hockey. 373 00:15:49,315 --> 00:15:50,649 (buzzer honks) 374 00:15:50,649 --> 00:15:52,785 (Shoresy): I'd rather be up two than down two. 375 00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,186 It's the fastest game we've seen. 376 00:15:54,186 --> 00:15:55,387 Don't tell that to the Italians. 377 00:15:55,387 --> 00:15:56,588 - I won't. - Can tell 'em 378 00:15:56,588 --> 00:15:57,823 they're the ugliest, though. 379 00:15:57,823 --> 00:15:59,458 (Anik): Rawdon's shooting everything tonight. 380 00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:00,826 (Shoresy): I don't even wanna know the shots. 381 00:16:00,826 --> 00:16:02,628 You've had plenty of scoring chances, 382 00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,029 but can't seem to find the twine. 383 00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:06,065 Well, French goalies are really good. 384 00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:07,900 What needs to change in the second period? 385 00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:09,335 (Sanguinet): Jim. - Yeah? 386 00:16:09,335 --> 00:16:10,302 (Sanguinet): Jim. - Yes. 387 00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:11,403 (Sanguinet): Jim. - Ready to swing 388 00:16:11,403 --> 00:16:12,438 the momentum here, Sanger. 389 00:16:12,438 --> 00:16:13,405 New period, boys. 390 00:16:13,405 --> 00:16:14,773 You gotta set the fuckin' tone! 391 00:16:14,773 --> 00:16:16,642 - Ready to go. - B'ys they're shootin' everything. 392 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:18,777 I never see a team with so many injuries as this, 393 00:16:18,777 --> 00:16:20,379 but we gotta be blockin' shots. 394 00:16:22,014 --> 00:16:24,016 {\an8}Help out Michaels, boys. Get the body in front of it. 395 00:16:24,016 --> 00:16:25,117 (Michaels): Yeah, but we need shots. 396 00:16:25,117 --> 00:16:26,251 Boys, we're not gonna win this game 397 00:16:26,251 --> 00:16:28,087 unless we score some fuckin' goals. 398 00:16:28,087 --> 00:16:29,254 Gotta find a fuckin' way. 399 00:16:29,254 --> 00:16:30,889 Frankie, you gotta find a way, big boy. 400 00:16:32,691 --> 00:16:34,159 {\an8}Let's get one here and keep going. 401 00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:35,761 I know you're all hurt, but we need to see 402 00:16:35,761 --> 00:16:37,496 everything you've got for 40 more minutes. 403 00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:39,164 Come on, boys, let's fuckin' see it, huh? 404 00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:41,100 (Hitch): Get the body in front of it out there, b'ys! 405 00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:43,435 - Let's fuckin' go! - Set the tone. 406 00:16:43,435 --> 00:16:45,738 (tense electronic music) 407 00:16:58,183 --> 00:17:01,053 (rhythmic hip-hop music) 408 00:17:18,337 --> 00:17:20,406 (cheering) 409 00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:26,712 (hip-hop music continues) 410 00:17:35,821 --> 00:17:38,724 (crowd cheering) 411 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,395 (whistle blows) 412 00:17:44,596 --> 00:17:45,697 (player): Hey! 413 00:17:46,165 --> 00:17:47,699 (crowd jeers) 414 00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:52,938 (whistle blows) - Fuck! 415 00:17:58,110 --> 00:17:59,945 (crowd jeers) 416 00:18:05,717 --> 00:18:06,785 (whistle blows) 417 00:18:07,286 --> 00:18:09,254 (Rapides players cheer) 418 00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:15,661 (crowd jeers) 419 00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:22,601 (buzzer honks) 420 00:18:31,243 --> 00:18:33,479 (players panting) 421 00:18:44,857 --> 00:18:46,191 (Nat): Shoresy! 422 00:18:53,198 --> 00:18:54,299 Yo! 423 00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:01,173 How bad is it? 424 00:19:01,507 --> 00:19:03,342 - Doesn't matter. - No excuses. 425 00:19:03,342 --> 00:19:05,277 (Ziig): Seriously, how banged up are we? 426 00:19:06,044 --> 00:19:07,045 (Shoresy): Doesn't matter. 427 00:19:07,045 --> 00:19:08,280 Never let them know you're hurt. 428 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,215 (Miig): How are we gonna score four? 429 00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:14,153 Gonna find that fuck you attitude. 430 00:19:17,422 --> 00:19:18,924 (helmet clatters) 431 00:19:18,924 --> 00:19:22,060 (stirring electronic music) 432 00:19:25,430 --> 00:19:26,899 You keep the puck out. 433 00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:28,934 Need you to keep the fuckin' puck out. Can you do it? 434 00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:30,602 Just worry about the guy at the other end. 435 00:19:30,602 --> 00:19:32,004 I got him. Don't worry about him. 436 00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,272 Can you keep the fuckin' puck out? 437 00:19:33,272 --> 00:19:35,174 - Yeah. - Keep the fuckin' puck out. 438 00:19:36,508 --> 00:19:38,710 Need five fuckin' goals, boys. 439 00:19:38,710 --> 00:19:41,914 Need five fuckin' goals here. I know everybody's hurt. 440 00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:44,783 We need five fuckin' goals. Who wants 'em? 441 00:19:44,783 --> 00:19:46,485 Who wants the goals? Hitch. 442 00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:49,855 You ever been on a team this good? 443 00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:51,557 - No. - Get one for us. 444 00:19:51,557 --> 00:19:52,624 Dolo. 445 00:19:53,425 --> 00:19:55,227 You ever win a national title? - Nah, bro. 446 00:19:55,227 --> 00:19:56,628 Get one for us. 447 00:19:56,628 --> 00:19:57,596 Goody. 448 00:19:58,096 --> 00:20:00,666 You ever been on the best team in the entire fuckin' country? 449 00:20:00,666 --> 00:20:02,501 - Not yet, Shoresy. - Get one for us. 450 00:20:02,501 --> 00:20:05,771 Fish, you'll never be back here again, ya fuckin' loser. 451 00:20:05,771 --> 00:20:07,105 You know it. - I know. 452 00:20:07,105 --> 00:20:08,440 Get one for us. 453 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:10,108 Hey, big boy. 454 00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:12,911 Everybody's playin' through something here. 455 00:20:12,911 --> 00:20:14,213 You gotta play through it. 456 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,681 {\an8}(Dolo translating into French) 457 00:20:15,681 --> 00:20:16,982 {\an8}You gotta battle. 458 00:20:16,982 --> 00:20:19,818 {\an8}Whatever's fuckin' goin' on in Quebec, forget it. 459 00:20:19,818 --> 00:20:20,986 (Dolo translating) 460 00:20:20,986 --> 00:20:22,387 (Shoresy): You gotta play through it. 461 00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:25,157 We need ya. We need ya here. 462 00:20:25,157 --> 00:20:26,925 We need ya. (Dolo translating) 463 00:20:26,925 --> 00:20:28,260 (Shoresy): Come on. 464 00:20:28,260 --> 00:20:30,729 (stirring music quickens) 465 00:20:36,635 --> 00:20:39,805 (crowd cheering uproariously) 466 00:21:07,366 --> 00:21:09,401 (crowd cheering) 467 00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:20,412 How's your hand? 468 00:21:20,412 --> 00:21:21,880 How's your hand, ya fuckin' idiot? 469 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,816 Hey, how's your hand feel on the back of my fuckin' helmet? 470 00:21:24,816 --> 00:21:26,885 I didn't drop 'em. They both dropped 'em. 471 00:21:26,885 --> 00:21:29,488 I didn't drop 'em. I never fuckin' dropped 'em. 472 00:21:29,488 --> 00:21:31,156 I still have my fuckin' gloves on. 473 00:21:31,156 --> 00:21:33,825 I didn't drop 'em. They both dropped 'em. 474 00:21:35,027 --> 00:21:37,329 (music intensifying) 475 00:21:43,468 --> 00:21:44,236 (cheering) 476 00:21:44,236 --> 00:21:46,004 (horn honks) 477 00:21:46,872 --> 00:21:49,441 (music quickens) 478 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:10,529 (cheering) 479 00:22:13,198 --> 00:22:15,334 (inaudible shouting) 480 00:22:22,874 --> 00:22:25,077 (♪) 481 00:22:36,154 --> 00:22:38,423 (cheering) 482 00:22:47,332 --> 00:22:49,534 (inaudible shouting) 483 00:22:50,502 --> 00:22:52,671 (♪) 484 00:23:11,757 --> 00:23:13,358 (cheering) 485 00:23:22,901 --> 00:23:26,037 (♪) 486 00:24:05,010 --> 00:24:06,912 (buzzer honks) 487 00:24:21,726 --> 00:24:23,428 (music stops abruptly) 488 00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:27,532 (muffled soundscape) 489 00:24:30,101 --> 00:24:33,038 (muffled cheering) 490 00:24:56,661 --> 00:24:57,729 How was the two-day bender? 491 00:24:57,729 --> 00:24:59,231 You'll have to ask someone else. 492 00:24:59,231 --> 00:25:01,233 - Sorry I couldn't join. - Too old for this. 493 00:25:01,233 --> 00:25:03,635 - I know I am. - I meant I'm too old for this. 494 00:25:03,635 --> 00:25:05,403 So, break it down for me. You win the game, 495 00:25:05,403 --> 00:25:07,172 you raise the trophy. - In our own barn. 496 00:25:07,172 --> 00:25:09,975 Off the ice and into the room. Champagne showers? 497 00:25:09,975 --> 00:25:11,176 - Mm-hmm. - Then what? 498 00:25:11,176 --> 00:25:13,411 (joyful electronic music) 499 00:25:14,813 --> 00:25:17,148 (inaudible conversations) 500 00:25:17,148 --> 00:25:19,484 (♪) 501 00:25:27,759 --> 00:25:28,793 (Laura): Looks good. - Thanks. 502 00:25:28,793 --> 00:25:30,562 - Then what? - Quick chat with BROdude 503 00:25:30,562 --> 00:25:32,030 and off to supper where Ol' Gorgeous 504 00:25:32,030 --> 00:25:33,532 did not disappoint. 505 00:25:33,532 --> 00:25:34,900 I love that about hockey players. 506 00:25:34,900 --> 00:25:36,668 You all spend the week trying to kill each other, 507 00:25:36,668 --> 00:25:38,236 but there's almost never any carryover 508 00:25:38,236 --> 00:25:40,505 after the final buzzer. A handshake, and it's done. 509 00:25:41,106 --> 00:25:43,208 Don't want the beers gettin' warm. 510 00:25:43,208 --> 00:25:44,943 (joyful electronic music) 511 00:25:44,943 --> 00:25:47,212 (inaudible conversations) 512 00:25:51,216 --> 00:25:53,885 (♪) 513 00:26:13,038 --> 00:26:15,807 - Well, it's all pretty cute. - Oh, I know that look. 514 00:26:15,807 --> 00:26:17,642 - Do ya? - Like you wanna take me home. 515 00:26:17,642 --> 00:26:20,078 Like I wanna take you home and grab you by the honker? 516 00:26:20,078 --> 00:26:21,313 Like you wanna take me home 517 00:26:21,313 --> 00:26:23,248 and grab me right by the ding-dong. 518 00:26:25,951 --> 00:26:28,653 Wait, what was the quick chat with BROdude all about? 519 00:26:28,653 --> 00:26:29,988 (music stops) (Shoresy): Just... 520 00:26:29,988 --> 00:26:31,256 crushing beers! 521 00:26:31,256 --> 00:26:33,024 (Emma): Hey, Shoresy. 522 00:26:33,024 --> 00:26:34,726 Can I talk to you for a sec? (Shoresy): Okay. 523 00:26:34,726 --> 00:26:36,394 - Nice hair. - Yeah, Hitch barely looks 524 00:26:36,394 --> 00:26:37,963 like a fuckin' idiot at all now. 525 00:26:37,963 --> 00:26:39,598 Yeah, that's a good look for you. 526 00:26:39,598 --> 00:26:41,099 If it weren't for his face, he'd barely 527 00:26:41,099 --> 00:26:42,734 look like a fuckin' idiot at all. 528 00:26:42,734 --> 00:26:44,536 - What's with the new look? - Oh, we were just 529 00:26:44,536 --> 00:26:45,904 being degenerates. We cut off our hair 530 00:26:45,904 --> 00:26:47,305 and couldn't fix it until we won it all. 531 00:26:47,305 --> 00:26:48,974 - It's a good deal. - It's a better deal 532 00:26:48,974 --> 00:26:50,408 if you're not a degenerate at all. 533 00:26:50,408 --> 00:26:51,676 But I wouldn't say it's fixed. 534 00:26:51,676 --> 00:26:53,278 Get the fuck outta here, Michaels. 535 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:57,115 So, you're done as a player. 536 00:26:57,115 --> 00:26:58,984 Yeah, did ya wanna say, "Sorry to hear"? 537 00:26:58,984 --> 00:27:01,786 - I wanna offer you a job. - No then, eh? 538 00:27:02,153 --> 00:27:04,623 How would you like to be an analyst for BROdude Hockey? 539 00:27:04,623 --> 00:27:07,058 (curious music plays) 540 00:27:07,058 --> 00:27:08,493 They want you to be an analyst? 541 00:27:08,493 --> 00:27:10,362 Yeah, said they wanted a really good-lookin' guy. 542 00:27:10,362 --> 00:27:11,896 I dunno. - Really. 543 00:27:11,896 --> 00:27:13,298 I guess they were havin' a hard time 544 00:27:13,298 --> 00:27:15,233 finding really smart, good-lookin' guys. I dunno. 545 00:27:15,233 --> 00:27:16,768 How much are they gonna offer you? 546 00:27:16,768 --> 00:27:19,404 - Why? - Because I have to match it. 547 00:27:19,404 --> 00:27:20,939 Fer what? 548 00:27:21,706 --> 00:27:23,508 You're gonna coach. 549 00:27:28,113 --> 00:27:31,516 (hip-hop music)