1
00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:03,420
[ Dramatic music plays ]
Edward: Morning.
2
00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:04,963
Good would be if
I was still asleep.
3
00:00:04,963 --> 00:00:06,632
But, uh, yeah.
4
00:00:06,632 --> 00:00:09,468
Do you think you can, uh,
turn that game down
5
00:00:09,468 --> 00:00:10,886
or, I don't know, off?
6
00:00:10,886 --> 00:00:13,138
First of all,
StarRim isn't a game.
7
00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:14,556
It's a space opera.
8
00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:15,891
I'm sorry,
there's a "second of all"?
9
00:00:15,891 --> 00:00:17,559
Second of all,
today's the release date
10
00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:19,645
of StarRim Nine, StarRim Diablo,
and I have to play it
11
00:00:19,645 --> 00:00:23,190
all the way through before
it's ruined by some noob online.
12
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:24,441
No offense.
13
00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:25,859
Why would that
be offensive?
14
00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,277
Are you kidding?
No, I'm not even awake.
15
00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:29,112
[ Sighs ]
16
00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:31,281
I can feel your eyes on me,
and I don't like that.
17
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:32,824
I've just never seen anybody
double-fist
18
00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:34,201
a space opera before.
19
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:35,452
Happy to not look.
20
00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:39,122
Every sniper needs a marksman,
and I do not have one.
21
00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:40,582
I'm happy to teach you,
I guess,
22
00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:42,960
but the training
will be rigorous
23
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,336
and it will not
make us friends.
24
00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:45,671
No, thanks.
25
00:00:45,671 --> 00:00:47,548
I can't imagine staring
at a screen this early.
26
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:48,590
[ Weapons firing ]
27
00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:50,175
[ Gasps ]
28
00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:53,053
If it's about StarRim,
please do not say anything.
29
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,888
[ Exhales deeply ]
30
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,473
♪
31
00:00:56,473 --> 00:01:00,394
Uh, no, no.
It's, um... my ex, Phillip,
32
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:03,355
just posted a picture
with a girl.
33
00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:05,190
I thought you guys
broke up.
34
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:07,818
We did.
35
00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,653
Yeah, we've-- we've been
broken up for months,
36
00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:12,239
so he could date whoever
he wants to and so can I.
37
00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:13,949
But you don't,
and if you did,
38
00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:15,784
I would really
want to meet him first
39
00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:18,537
so I could tell him the rules
on how to clean the skillets.
40
00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:21,498
Also, am I crazy, Edward,
or does she look like me?
41
00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:22,457
D-- Edward!
42
00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:23,208
[ Beeps ]
43
00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:27,379
Doesn't she kinda look
like me?
44
00:01:27,379 --> 00:01:30,632
No. Her eyes pop
and aren't hooded like yours.
45
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,011
You can unpause
your game now.
46
00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:37,014
- Captions by VITAC--
47
00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:41,018
♪
48
00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:42,603
Barista: There you go.
49
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,396
Thank you.
50
00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:46,231
$2 tip on a $4 coffee?
51
00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:47,566
That's 50%.
52
00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:53,030
Oh-- Oh,
I-I'm not stealing,
53
00:01:53,030 --> 00:01:54,406
I'm just recalibrating
the tip.
54
00:01:54,406 --> 00:01:56,116
How often do you find
your inability
55
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,659
to do simple math
costs you money?
56
00:01:57,659 --> 00:02:00,037
I don't know,
like 40% of the time?
57
00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:02,539
Or wait, no...
one-third?
58
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:04,541
Good grief.
It's worse than I thought.
59
00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:07,544
Okay, look, Rand, you may be
an award-winning mathematician,
60
00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:09,546
but you're dead,
so if you're sticking around
61
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,506
to teach me some kind of lesson
while I write your obituary,
62
00:02:11,506 --> 00:02:13,675
you could just go,
because I don't need your help.
63
00:02:13,675 --> 00:02:15,594
Great, I have no interest
in your life.
64
00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:17,596
I spent mine trying to solve
the Rainbow Paradox,
65
00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:19,890
and I plan on sticking around
to finish the job.
66
00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:22,267
Preferably without
some millennial's vocal fry
67
00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:24,269
buzzing in my ear
like a gnat.
68
00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:26,730
Good.
Because I'm doing just fine.
69
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:29,066
Your eye makeup
is garish.
70
00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:30,859
♪
71
00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:32,194
[ Scoffs ]
72
00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:34,404
♪
73
00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:36,073
Hey, you.
74
00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:38,367
How is everything?
Great.
75
00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:39,910
I haven't finished that
math guy's obit yet,
76
00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:42,329
but everything seems
pretty straightforward.
77
00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:45,123
Oh, honey, I am not talking
about that boring old nerd.
78
00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:47,000
Wow, don't die in Pasadena.
79
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,919
I'm talking about
Phillip's post this morning.
80
00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,170
You saw that?
81
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,673
[ Laughs ]
Duh, he's a great follow.
82
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,091
Although,
who is that girl?
83
00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:55,717
Talk about uggo,
am I right?
84
00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:57,344
You don't have to say that.
I know she's stunning.
85
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:59,221
Oh, thank God.
She is though, right?
86
00:02:59,221 --> 00:03:02,015
Normally my type is, like,
a femme Rachel Maddow,
87
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:04,851
but I would make
an exception for that one.
88
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,353
This is what you guys
talk about?
89
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:07,771
I worked at JPL.
90
00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:09,189
There are telescopes
named after me.
91
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:10,565
[ Elevator bell dings ]
92
00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:14,486
♪
93
00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:16,279
Hey.
It's fine.
94
00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:18,198
I'm fine.
Well, you should be,
95
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,659
because that girl
is hid-eh-oose Mozart.
96
00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:22,619
She's not.
Ugh, I know.
97
00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:24,454
Honestly,
it's all good, okay?
98
00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:25,831
I don't even care
about that girl
99
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:27,457
and her very stylish
necklace layering.
100
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:28,625
Phillip has moved on
with his life
101
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,794
and I'm moving on with mine.
Wow!
102
00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:32,879
I am very happy to hear you say
that because I would love
103
00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,297
to be a caring friend
to you right now,
104
00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:35,465
but I have to run off
to a meeting
105
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:37,551
that is just editors
and not you.
106
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,761
Ohh, in retrospect, I could have
said that better.
107
00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:41,471
It's okay.
I'm good. Go.
108
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:42,389
Okay.
I don't need anything.
109
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:43,890
Okay!
110
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,434
Hey, psst, Mason,
I need you.
111
00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:46,810
Oh, hard pass, dawg.
112
00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:50,272
Oh, listen, I have a very urgent
journalistic task for you,
113
00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:51,773
falling under
the newspaper's purview
114
00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:53,442
and not at all driven
by personal emotion.
115
00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:55,360
So, like an assignment?
Uh, yeah.
116
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:56,820
Exactly.
Just like that.
117
00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,447
Uh, you see this girl?
118
00:03:58,447 --> 00:03:59,656
I need you to find out
everything you can about her.
119
00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:02,117
Yeah, she's hot.
I'll do it.
120
00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:05,120
Oh, okay.
Thank you.
121
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,788
Hey, you.
122
00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:09,666
I heard you were down,
so I heated up a salad for you.
123
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:12,169
Oh, okay. Yeah.
Alright, thanks, Tina.
124
00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:14,421
Oh, no, the salad's
still for me.
125
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:16,173
I just made it
in your honor.
126
00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:17,841
You--
127
00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:19,134
♪
128
00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:20,177
[ Clears throat ]
129
00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:22,679
Oh, this is dire.
130
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:24,473
There's just no way to spin
this into an uplifting story.
131
00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:26,850
I know.
These numbers are devastating.
132
00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:29,686
Look,
she got eight likes.
133
00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:32,355
I accidentally posted a photo
of my faucet and I still got 32.
134
00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:34,107
Oh, your dish soap
looked so cute.
135
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,442
[ Chuckles ]
Thank you.
136
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:36,860
We put it
in a glass bottle
137
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,528
so we could feel like
we're in olden times.
138
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:40,363
Guys, we shouldn't
be doing this.
139
00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:42,199
We shouldn't be looking
at Nell's profile.
140
00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:44,326
What we should be doing
is looking at Phillip's
141
00:04:44,326 --> 00:04:46,787
to discuss how lame he
and his girlfriend are.
142
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,121
Mm.
143
00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:52,959
I've got nothing.
I fold.
144
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:56,296
It's like a Google image
search for the word "romance."
Hmm.
145
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,006
There's no way
that Nell's okay with this.
146
00:05:00,592 --> 00:05:03,094
♪
147
00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:06,515
Rand, I don't have time
for this.
148
00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:07,891
It's not my fault
that you didn't finish it
149
00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:09,017
before you were dead.
150
00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:11,937
Should I be worried?
151
00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:13,688
I mean, I already
have one employee who
microwaves lettuces.
152
00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:14,689
I can't afford two.
153
00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:16,483
Nell's fine, okay?
154
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:19,194
She just needs, like, a little
nudge to get back out there.
155
00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:22,364
I will set her up with someone
because I'm her best friend.
156
00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:24,241
Excuse me,
I'm actually an expert
157
00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:25,784
in setting up
straight people.
158
00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:29,955
There are Springsteen fans,
and there are Billy Joel fans.
159
00:05:29,955 --> 00:05:32,415
The trick is you
never cross the streams.
160
00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:35,043
What exactly makes you
an "expert"?
161
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:36,753
I have a gay moon
and a heterosexual rising,
162
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,505
otherwise known as bi.
163
00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:41,883
So we'll be placing bets
on this, right?
164
00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:43,510
'Cause I'm gonna win.
165
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,220
Nell!
How?
166
00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:47,138
I know rich guys.
167
00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:49,850
So this is what the inside
of this room looks like.
168
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:52,060
Fancy. I'll have a wine spritzer
if you got 'em.
169
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,563
I'm kidding.
I'll just stand here.
170
00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:56,189
Nell, do you know why
you were called in here today?
171
00:05:58,149 --> 00:06:00,443
You're finally gonna give me
a feature?
172
00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:03,196
A feature? [ Laughs ]
You're hilarious.
173
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,614
Very funny.
She's funny.
174
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:05,657
We should set her up
with someone funny.
175
00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:07,117
Mm.
Mm.
176
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,493
You guys are trying
to set me up on dates?
177
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:12,122
Okay, that is so inappropriate.
I'm a professional.
178
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:14,499
I am a woman journalist... woman,
179
00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:17,168
and my personal life
doesn't belong in the workplace.
180
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,880
Shame on you.
181
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,716
Hey, hey. So I got some info
on that smokeshow.
182
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:23,967
Okay.
183
00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,594
Apparently, she's on
the 30 Under 30 list
184
00:06:25,594 --> 00:06:27,262
for London's
Hottest Pastry Chefs.
185
00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:30,640
And she used to be Woman #3
in the P90x video.
186
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:34,394
And she's a vicar's daughter,
so you know she's freaky.
187
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,938
♪
188
00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:38,690
I changed my mind.
Bring me the men.
189
00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:40,483
Bring me all the men!
190
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,906
So, Dennis told me
191
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:48,658
that you were living in London
with your ex?
192
00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:51,161
Yeah.
Yeah.
How long were you there?
193
00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:52,954
For five years.
194
00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:55,707
Yeah, we were
actually engaged.
195
00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,334
Did he tell you that?
196
00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:59,919
Should I tell you that?
Should I not?
197
00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:02,088
I don't know.
Oh, I--
[ Chuckles ]
198
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:04,299
You're the first person that
I've gone out with since him,
199
00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:06,676
but that's probably
pretty obvious.
200
00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:08,094
I'm sorry.
I'm really bad at this.
201
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:09,220
[ Chuckles ]
202
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:11,848
So, do you have
any siblings?
203
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:13,767
No. None. Okay.
204
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,518
Yeah.
Yeah, alright.
205
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,479
Alright. [ Laughs ]
That's the end
of that question.
206
00:07:17,479 --> 00:07:20,482
No, hey, I get it.
Dating sucks.
207
00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:22,609
I have been at it
for quite a while now.
208
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:26,780
But I actually found
there's a mathematical equation
209
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:29,074
that can determine
your one true soul mate.
210
00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:30,116
I don't like this guy.
211
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,619
I have a pretty high EQ,
212
00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:35,121
which is actually
more important than the IQ.
213
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:37,290
It is not.
Real scientists have created
214
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,709
something called
the five love languages.
215
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:42,587
[ Chuckles ] They have not.
Hmm. Right.
216
00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:44,214
I read about this on a plane.
217
00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:47,133
Okay, [chuckles] then, um,
how about on the count of three,
218
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:49,719
we each call out
our own love language
219
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:51,596
to see how compatible
we are.
220
00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:52,972
Okay.
Alright.
221
00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:54,849
One, two, three.
222
00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:56,017
Acts of service. Gifting.
223
00:07:57,977 --> 00:07:59,270
Ohh.
224
00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:00,772
What? What's wrong?
225
00:08:00,772 --> 00:08:02,774
My ex was a gifty
like you.
226
00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:04,401
I don't think this is
gonna work.
227
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:05,777
You don't even know
if I'm anything like her.
228
00:08:05,777 --> 00:08:07,570
Your wants come first.
229
00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:09,197
You want to drain my bank
account and live the fast life.
230
00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:15,412
So, do you like bagels?
231
00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:17,497
I don't eat food
with holes in it.
232
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,375
Cool.
233
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:24,921
[ Sighs ] Well, it was, um,
very nice of you
234
00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:27,215
to adamantly walk me home,
235
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:28,717
even though
I did say several times
236
00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:30,343
I could do it on my own.
237
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,679
Acts of service.
Okay, you know,
238
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,140
I-I think you may be putting
too much stock into that stuff.
239
00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:38,518
Huh.
Hi, I'm Edward,
Nell's roommate.
240
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,353
If you're gonna be staying
with us, two things...
241
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:43,189
...one, good for you,
get it,
242
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:44,399
and two,
there's a couple of things
243
00:08:44,399 --> 00:08:45,817
I want you to know about
how we clean the skillets.
244
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:48,278
Edward. Please.
He's leaving.
245
00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:49,821
I guess we have nothing left
to talk about.
246
00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:51,656
Yep.
247
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,825
[ Dramatic music plays
on cellphones ]
248
00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:56,828
♪
249
00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:58,621
Maybe I spoke too soon.
250
00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:02,250
♪
251
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:05,253
Yeah, unfortunately it
just wasn't a match with Ross.
252
00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:08,048
Yeah, I don't understand that.
You both like Billy Joel.
253
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:10,425
Well, at least my roommate
got his number.
254
00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:13,094
Turns out, they're both
into some space opera.
255
00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:15,430
Ugh, God,
I started a bromance.
256
00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:17,682
Yes, you did.
What am I, "Top Gun"?
257
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:19,768
Nell,
so glad you're here.
258
00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:22,228
There is someone
I would like you to meet.
259
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:27,067
Hm.
Where-- Where is he?
260
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,026
Just give it a second.
261
00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:30,528
[ Snapping ]
262
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:32,447
He's coming.
263
00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:39,662
He was right behind me.
Mm-hmm.
264
00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:43,083
It's gonna be worth it.
Just--
265
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,918
Oh, no. Alistair.
[ Snaps, claps ]
266
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,920
Ah. [ Chuckles ]
Salutations.
267
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,463
Oh, not to me,
to her.
268
00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:50,507
Salutations.
269
00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:52,300
Can everyone see him,
or is it just me? [ Chuckles ]
270
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:55,470
This is a dear friend
of my family, Alistair Banister.
271
00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:57,847
And before anyone asks, yes,
272
00:09:57,847 --> 00:10:01,810
Banister of
the handrails fortune.
273
00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:03,436
Well,
it's nice to meet you.
274
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,605
Thank you for helping me
stay on the stairs.
275
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,232
Salutations.
276
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:10,610
Yes, Alistair has come
to take you to dinner.
277
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,070
It's 3:30.
278
00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:14,322
Yeah.
E-E-Excuse me, Lexi.
279
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:15,698
I hope you don't mind,
280
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:17,325
but I have to [clears throat]
go make water.
281
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:19,119
I'll be back in an hour.
282
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:21,412
I hope you don't mind
eating late.
283
00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:22,205
Mm.
284
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:25,834
Isn't he great?
285
00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:29,212
He is so rich, he has someone
who bathes and feeds him.
286
00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:30,713
I don't think
that's a rich thing.
287
00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:32,841
Okay, look, guys, I really
appreciate you trying to help,
288
00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:34,676
but I just [sighs]
289
00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:36,970
I'm starting to think
that I-I'm just--
290
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,596
I'm not ready for this.
I'm sorry.
291
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:41,474
♪
292
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,643
I think
I nearly figured it out!
293
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:46,938
[ Sighs ] Great
because I thought about it,
294
00:10:46,938 --> 00:10:50,859
and if you want to solve
my problems, too, you can.
295
00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:52,152
Well, that depends.
296
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,862
Is one of your problems
the square root of four?
297
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:56,573
[ Chuckles ]
I get it,
I suck at math, okay?
298
00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:58,449
Well,
I suck at humans.
299
00:10:58,449 --> 00:11:00,285
Relationships aren't predictable
like numbers.
300
00:11:00,285 --> 00:11:03,371
They're, like,
unsolvable equations.
301
00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:05,123
That's why I stay away
from people.
302
00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:12,714
Maybe that's the lesson you were
supposed to teach me, Rand.
303
00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:14,924
Maybe I'm like you.
304
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:17,177
Maybe I'm not a
relationship person.
305
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:18,094
Hmm.
306
00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:22,223
Yeah.
Thanks.
307
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:24,225
Sure.
[ Chuckles ]
308
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,144
I guess I could send
that obit now.
309
00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:28,188
Oh, I think I solved it!
I just need to carry the one--
310
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:29,480
[ Computer whooshes ]
311
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:30,899
Oops.
312
00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:33,985
♪
313
00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:35,069
It's probably fine.
314
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:38,948
What is that?
315
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:41,993
It's an everything bagel,
but it's still not enough.
316
00:11:41,993 --> 00:11:43,119
Give me that.
317
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:44,370
Oh. What?
318
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,372
Hey!
I was gonna 'gram that!
319
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:49,792
What is going on with you?
Are you really not okay?
320
00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:52,795
I was until you threw out
my bagel.
321
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:55,423
Okay, look, it's understandable
that you would be upset
322
00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:57,383
after everything
that happened,
323
00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:59,719
and it fully sucks that Phillip
found someone that can even,
324
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,138
like, roll up her jeans
in a really cute way.
325
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:03,514
She was wearing a skirt
in that photo.
326
00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:05,475
I may have done
a deep dive.
327
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:07,810
You're not just gonna magically
wake up one day and be okay,
328
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:10,188
but you have to take
that first step.
329
00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:11,940
I mean, think about how many
terrible dates
330
00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:13,107
I went on
before I met Keith.
331
00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:14,859
Wasn't Keith one of them?
No.
332
00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:16,319
He wore khakis
to Coachella.
333
00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:18,780
We have moved on from that.
Yes, we have.
334
00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:21,908
And you need to move on, too,
so go on one more date, alright?
335
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,410
We'll keep it casual.
We'll go for some wine.
336
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:25,912
He's really hot.
337
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:27,413
How hot?
Hotter than Phillip.
338
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:30,208
Crab apples. That was
a long one. [ Chuckles ]
339
00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:33,628
Well, don't you look
hotsy-totsy.
340
00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:36,297
Okay, I'll go.
341
00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:40,134
So, Ari, uh, what do you think
of love languages?
342
00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:42,303
Is that, like,
a British reality show?
343
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:44,180
[ Laughs ]
Sorry, I'm not really aware
344
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:45,598
of anything that's happened
in the world
345
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,016
since my kids were born.
346
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:48,393
Ah,
you haven't missed much.
347
00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:50,019
Except for the fact
that we found out
348
00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:52,855
that Britney was not free,
and we freed her.
349
00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:55,066
You're funny, Nell.
You were right about her, Sam.
350
00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:56,693
I know.
351
00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,403
I shouldn't have said
that out loud. Sorry.
352
00:12:58,403 --> 00:12:59,904
I have not been on a date
in a while.
353
00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:01,155
Oh, I totally get it.
354
00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:03,116
You're doing great. Thanks.
355
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,368
Uh, I heard that you spent
the last five years in London.
356
00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:07,954
So exciting. Yeah.
357
00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:10,999
Me, I feel like I've been
kind of cooped up with my kids.
358
00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:14,585
But honestly, fatherhood
has totally changed my life.
359
00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:17,797
Yeah, I feel like I was born
to be a dad, you know?
360
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:21,175
It wasn't until I met my kids
that I really met myself.
361
00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:22,885
Ah.
Aww.
362
00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:25,388
Enough Dad talk. Sorry.
363
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:27,098
No, it's fine.
Great!
364
00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:28,933
Because, um, my son
just started swim lessons
365
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:31,144
and I feel like it's totally
gonna change his life.
366
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,146
[ Gasps ] I was just saying that
about swim lessons.
367
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,189
Wasn't I just saying that
about swim lessons, Nell?
368
00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:36,607
Tell him I was just saying
that about swim lessons.
369
00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,901
She was just saying
that about swim lessons.
370
00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:40,945
[ Cellphone vibrates ]
Oh, that's the sitter.
Excuse me.
371
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,323
What did I tell you?
So hot.
372
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:45,783
[ Clicks tongue ] Knocked
that one out of the park.
373
00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:47,493
He's so hot...
I know.
374
00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:48,786
...for you.
What?
375
00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:50,455
Come on.
Come on.
376
00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:52,165
Sam, he's amazing, but he is
just totally not my type.
377
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,332
He is your type.
378
00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:56,294
Are you joking?
He is everyone's type.
379
00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:58,087
Hey, I'm sorry.
I need to go home right now.
380
00:13:58,087 --> 00:13:59,672
My kid has a temperature
of 98.
381
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,340
Wait, is that too low
or too high?
382
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:03,092
It could be either.
Could it?
383
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:04,635
Uh, can you drive me home,
Sam?
384
00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:06,012
I-I'm way too upset
to drive.
385
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:07,597
Me? Uh, sure.
386
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:09,849
Okay.
Yeah, okay.
387
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,684
Yeah, no, he's weird.
I'm over it.
388
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:13,978
♪
389
00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:15,646
Cricket?
Cricket: Mm-hmm?
390
00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:17,940
Do you think love
is an unsolvable equation?
391
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,484
Why would you say that?
392
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:21,861
Well, it was just something
someone told me.
393
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,404
Well, that dork probably
never had
394
00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:24,781
a real relationship
in their life.
395
00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:27,658
[ Chuckles ]
Love is not to be solved.
396
00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:29,410
Honey, it's to be felt.
397
00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:31,996
Oh.
You know, Monty and I,
398
00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:34,040
we didn't meet
till I was older,
399
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:37,627
when I least expected
to meet anyone.
400
00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:40,797
And, even then, it took a minute
before I realized,
401
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:43,549
"Oh, this is it."
402
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,802
A connection can come
when you don't expect it.
403
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:47,929
Ugh. So what are you
supposed to do?
404
00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:49,347
Just, like, wait?
405
00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:50,765
Stop trying
to force everything.
406
00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:52,183
[ Groans ]
407
00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:54,644
The door to the past
will close on its own.
408
00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:57,230
Unlike your bar tab.
409
00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:00,733
Mm-hmm.
[ Cellphone chimes ]
410
00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:05,530
"The hot pastry chef
just donated all her hair
411
00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:06,906
to build a nest
for eagles.
412
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,492
She's even hotter now."
413
00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:11,410
Thanks, Mason.
414
00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:13,079
Ugh.
415
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,919
[ Laughs ]
416
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,337
Sorry.
417
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:23,339
I hear that really opens up
the palate.
418
00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:28,511
Sorry, I didn't mean
to offend you.
419
00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:30,096
It's fine.
I-I'm fine.
420
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,640
No, it's just
you seem upset.
421
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:35,476
Well, I--
Yeah, I'm a grown-ass woman
422
00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:38,187
that's about to raise her voice
to a stranger at a wine bar,
423
00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:39,856
so, yeah, no,
that's not really fine.
424
00:15:39,856 --> 00:15:41,858
And actually,
this past week was not fine,
425
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,901
and neither have
the past five years.
426
00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,486
So, come to think of it, no.
427
00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:47,321
No,
I'm definitely not fine.
428
00:15:47,321 --> 00:15:48,531
Okay.
429
00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:50,283
Do you wanna
talk about it?
430
00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:52,910
Fine.
431
00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:58,040
This is the photo.
Can you see why I'm upset?
432
00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,584
I don't know.
433
00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:01,252
It seems like you really
shut down that buffet.
434
00:16:01,252 --> 00:16:03,963
No, not that one.
[ Chuckles ]
435
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,549
This one. Oh.
436
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:10,094
It's of my ex and
his new girlfriend, I guess.
437
00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:11,179
She is not ugly.
438
00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:13,764
Ohh.
But neither are you.
439
00:16:13,764 --> 00:16:15,766
Thank you, but I can't compete
with this--
440
00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:18,311
this big-eyed pastry chef.
441
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,729
She looks like
a Pixar character.
442
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,272
And it feels so pointed.
443
00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:23,608
I mean, he knows
I love pastries.
444
00:16:23,608 --> 00:16:26,152
I think everybody does after
the buffet photo.
445
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,778
[ Both laugh ]
446
00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:29,530
It was-- It was a lot.
447
00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:31,908
Oh, I'm sorry for unleashing
on you.
448
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:34,327
This is... ugh.
449
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,245
I am just a disaster.
450
00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:37,371
No. No, you're not.
451
00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:38,998
Honestly,
it's comforting.
452
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,667
I-I just ended
a relationship also.
453
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,169
It sucks. Yeah.
454
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:45,588
Do you, uh,
still talk to your ex?
455
00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:48,674
No. Um...
456
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:51,719
She was great, but things ended
and that was that.
457
00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:55,473
And you're not
secretly married?
No.
458
00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:57,308
And you're not a psycho?
No.
459
00:16:57,308 --> 00:16:59,393
And you swear you don't
actually like improv?
460
00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:01,062
Yes.
461
00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:03,022
And...
I can't even pretend.
462
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,732
No, I don't.
[ Chuckles ]
463
00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:06,025
I don't like it at all.
464
00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:08,486
[ Sighs ]
465
00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:10,363
[ Chuckles ]
466
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,406
So you're pretty great.
What's the catch?
467
00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:14,242
Come on,
there's gotta be one.
468
00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:19,121
Well, or maybe this is just us
meeting at the right time.
469
00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:21,123
Both of us out
of relationships,
470
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:22,750
not really sure
how to move forward.
471
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:23,918
Oh, that's weird, though.
472
00:17:23,918 --> 00:17:24,835
No, but it happens.
473
00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:26,295
Does it?
Yeah.
474
00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:28,381
Yeah,
something out of the blue
475
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:31,008
and it's not terrible?
476
00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:33,094
[ Peter Gabriel's
"In Your Eyes" plays ]
477
00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:34,887
Maybe this is how
it's supposed to be.
478
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:37,098
Yeah?
Yeah.
479
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:40,434
"A connection can happen
when you least expect it."
480
00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:42,311
I like that. Mm.
481
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:43,312
♪ Days pass ♪
[ Sprinklers spraying ]
482
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:45,106
[ Doorbell rings ]
483
00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:47,316
The sprinklers were on.
Get inside. You're shivering.
484
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:49,360
♪ Fills my heart ♪
485
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:50,903
Wow, this place
is pretty cool.
486
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,238
Let's not ruin this
by talking.
487
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:53,114
♪ When I want to run away ♪
488
00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:54,448
Nell: Thank you.
489
00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:56,200
You sure
you don't want one?
490
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,119
Nope.
I don't do carbs.
491
00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:01,080
[ Scoffs ]
So you are a psycho.
492
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,665
Wow.
493
00:18:02,665 --> 00:18:03,833
♪ But whichever way I go ♪
494
00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:06,544
So it begins.
495
00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:11,841
♪ I come back to the place
you are ♪
496
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:14,093
[ Laughs ]
497
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:17,888
♪ All my instincts,
they return ♪
498
00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:18,931
Oh.
499
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,474
♪ The grand facade ♪
500
00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:23,603
Coaster.
Coasters, please.
501
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:26,230
What is that? What are y--
What are you looking at?
502
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:27,773
Are you looking
at a walkthrough?!
503
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:29,275
I can't handle this
endless maze.
504
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:31,402
Space is too infinite!
505
00:18:31,402 --> 00:18:33,613
This is only gonna work
if you trust me.
506
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:35,781
Do you trust me, Ross?
507
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,450
I do.
508
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:40,411
Thank you.
What?
509
00:18:40,411 --> 00:18:42,413
Nothing.
I just think it's cool
510
00:18:42,413 --> 00:18:44,081
that you weren't embarrassed
to get another one.
511
00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:46,334
Is that a compliment
or an insult?
512
00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:47,960
Everything I've said to you
is a compliment.
513
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,837
Oh.
514
00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:51,464
♪ Your eyes ♪
515
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:52,840
Okay, now I'm embarrassed
to get another one.
516
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:54,717
♪ Your eyes ♪
517
00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:56,385
Edward: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes, yes!
518
00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:58,387
You're saving the galaxy!
519
00:18:58,387 --> 00:18:59,680
Oh, yes!
520
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,057
Whoo!
521
00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:03,184
You did it, Ross. No.
522
00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:05,436
We did it.
523
00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:06,771
Okay, that'll do.
524
00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:08,606
You can go now.
525
00:19:08,606 --> 00:19:10,191
Nell: Wow.
526
00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:12,860
Did we just walk
the entire night?
527
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:16,072
I guess so.
Look at us being cliché.
528
00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:19,200
[ Giggles ]
Catching a sunrise
on a brand-new day.
529
00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:23,746
Would you take
a photo with me?
530
00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:25,247
Yeah.
531
00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:27,083
You wanna rub it
in Phillip's face?
532
00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:28,959
No,
I don't wanna post it.
533
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:31,921
I, um--
I just want it for me.
534
00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:33,381
Okay.
535
00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:38,177
So, how do two people
who just met pose together?
536
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,012
Back-to-back.
Yeah?
537
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:41,806
Buddy-cop style.
It's obvious.
538
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:42,807
Alright. Okay. Yeah.
539
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:44,350
Oh.
540
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:45,935
♪ I get so tired ♪
541
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:47,353
Okay, ready?
You good?
542
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:48,813
Yup.
Okay.
543
00:19:48,813 --> 00:19:51,399
♪ Working so hard
for our survival ♪
544
00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:52,692
Okay,
I'm gonna check it.
545
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,235
I historically take terrible photos,
546
00:19:54,235 --> 00:19:55,569
but I have a good feeling
about this one.
547
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:56,696
Yeah.
548
00:19:56,696 --> 00:20:01,325
♪ I look to the time with you ♪
549
00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:04,912
♪ And all my instincts
they return ♪
550
00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:06,664
And there's the catch.
551
00:20:06,664 --> 00:20:11,752
♪ And the grand facade,
so soon will burn ♪
552
00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:15,256
♪ Without a noise,
without my pride ♪
553
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,553
Oh, God. This is even worse.
554
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,430
I can't believe
she's posting this.
555
00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:25,141
There's honestly
something forlorn about it.
556
00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:27,476
I don't know.
I kinda like it.
557
00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:30,229
Because I won!
558
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:33,190
I got the successful match,
so pay up.
559
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:35,025
Is this a success?
560
00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:39,822
She got most of the salad
in his mouth,
561
00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:42,074
so, yeah,
I'd say that's a win.