1
00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:03,879
♪
2
00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:05,380
Nell:
"Estelle Dubroff,
3
00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:07,591
a devoted mother
and grandmother,
4
00:00:07,591 --> 00:00:10,093
is survived by--"
I still can't believe this--
5
00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:13,180
16 children
and 49 grandchildren."
6
00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:14,640
How do you remember
all their names?
7
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:16,642
Patience, love...
8
00:00:16,642 --> 00:00:18,852
Oh.
...and name tags.
9
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:21,313
Lots of name tags.
10
00:00:21,313 --> 00:00:23,232
Are you thinking
of having children?
11
00:00:23,232 --> 00:00:25,234
Ah, well, I--
Don't get me wrong. I love kids.
12
00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:27,027
I guess I'm just
in a place in my life
13
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,654
right now where
it feels like children
14
00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:30,072
might not be in the cards
for me, you know?
15
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I know. I know. I sh--
16
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Don't let it happen!
17
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I'm sorry. Come again?
18
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Save your vagina!
19
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My vagina?! Oh...
20
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I-- [ Scoffs ]
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Talking to my doctor.
Yeah. [ Chuckles ]
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Wow. I was not
expecting that.
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16 kids.
24
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That's 16 trips
down one canal.
25
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Ohh.
Do you know what that
does to your body?
26
00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:56,640
For the first--
No, trust me.
I have a great imagination.
27
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But you love them, right?
28
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Ahh. Of course.
29
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Do you know who else I love?
My nieces and nephews.
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Do yourself a favor.
Be an aunt.
31
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You get all the fun stuff
and none of the hard stuff.
32
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So... you gonna
send me off now or...?
33
00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:17,536
Yeah. Sounds like you could
use a little "me time."
34
00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:19,538
Oh, yeah.
35
00:01:19,538 --> 00:01:20,455
[ Keyboard clacks ]
[ Message whooshes ]
36
00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:21,665
Ooh.
37
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♪
38
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Attention hirelings!
39
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Please give a warm welcome
to the tallest
40
00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:34,928
and most powerful presence
in any space--
41
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my father, your work father,
Duncan Rhodes!
42
00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:41,101
[ Applause ]
Hello, hello,
my essential workers.
43
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,686
I have
some very exciting news
44
00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:43,729
about me.
45
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It turns out that
46
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I will be awarded
47
00:01:46,857 --> 00:01:48,859
the Spirit in Journalism
48
00:01:48,859 --> 00:01:50,360
Lifetime Achievement Award.
49
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,238
Yes!
He shoots, he Duncans!
50
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[ Chuckles ]
Uh, sports!
51
00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:57,743
So it just goes to show
52
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that if you work hard
53
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and have a lot of money
54
00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:03,206
and sabotage your rivals,
55
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one day,
your entire lifetime
56
00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:06,668
could be an achievement
57
00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:07,878
deserving of an award.
58
00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:10,047
[ Cellphone chimes ]
59
00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:12,049
Oh, hold on.
It seems Father may not be
60
00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:13,759
the only one garnering
some recognition.
61
00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:15,344
Everyone,
check your e-mails.
62
00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:16,511
[ Cellphone chimes ]
[ Gasps ] Oh, my God!
63
00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:17,721
I've been nominated
for an award!
64
00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:18,972
[ Cellphone chimes ]
What?
65
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,557
I was nominated, too!
66
00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:22,142
I didn't get an e-mail.
67
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,436
It's, like, not even in my
spam folder or anything.
68
00:02:24,436 --> 00:02:26,188
Maybe I need to stand
closer to the router.
69
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So if you need me,
70
00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:29,524
I'll be looking into
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00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:31,610
how to parlay this success
72
00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:33,820
into a run for public office,
73
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:36,365
because remember--
sky's the limit when you're me.
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[ Applause ]
Okay. Thank you.
75
00:02:38,784 --> 00:02:41,662
This is so stressful.
Keith is out of town,
76
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:43,538
and his mom can only handle
one baby at a time,
77
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so I need to
find a sitter.
78
00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:47,167
Ugh! Tell me about it.
Ben is also out of town,
79
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,294
so we need to
find a sitter.
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00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:52,464
No! Don't-- No, no!
Yes, yes!
81
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Don't-- Mnh! I never
should have shared
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my sitter information
with you.
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[ Messages whoosh ]
84
00:02:56,635 --> 00:02:58,303
[ Message bloops ]
Yes!
85
00:02:58,303 --> 00:02:59,805
Aah!
Ha ha ha!
86
00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:02,140
Ashley comes through
for the Den-Bens.
87
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:03,892
Aw.
Don't make that face.
88
00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:06,019
Your sacrifice
will not be forgotten.
89
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:08,188
Hey. If you need somebody
to watch the kids,
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00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,273
Fun Aunt Nell's got
a lot of fun to give.
91
00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:12,901
Ooh! Yes! yes!
I love this!
Ha! Yes.
92
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:15,362
Okay, so, I will leave
the baby with Keith's mom.
93
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:17,531
And Tilly has been feeling
jealous about her baby brother,
94
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so she could use some one-on-one
time with her favorite auntie.
95
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Perfect!
Awesome!
96
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:23,161
Yeah, Till's
my best bestie.
97
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She really gets me, you know?
Plus, I've been itching
98
00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:26,832
for an excuse to wear
that princess dress again.
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00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:29,251
Mm!
Because I'm not
just a godmother.
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[ As Vito Corleone ]
I'm her fairy godmother.
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00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:35,507
I'm gonna make her an offer
she can't refuse-a.
102
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Something tells me you've
never seen "The Godfather."
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[ Normal voice ] Really? I--
How do you figure?
104
00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:44,057
What do you think, Arthur?
You like my fort?
105
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[ Dog whimpers ]
Top-notch, huh?
106
00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:47,227
[ Gasps ] A bra?
107
00:03:51,273 --> 00:03:53,108
What's all this?
I'm building a princess fort.
108
00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:55,360
Tilly's coming over.
What's all this?
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Belongs to my lady friend.
Would've been nice to get
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a heads-up that a child
was coming over.
111
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Would've been nice
to get a heads-up
112
00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:02,909
that you're hooking up
on our communal couch.
113
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Disgusting.
I don't love it.
114
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Who is this person, anyway?
115
00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:08,999
Can't tell you.
Signed an NDA.
116
00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:11,126
[ Gasps ] They're
definitely famous. Come on.
117
00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:13,170
Is it Selena Gomez?
Judy Blume?
118
00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:14,546
[ Gasps, purrs ]
Martha Stewart?
119
00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:15,964
Are you her new Snoop?
120
00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:17,591
I appreciate
you understanding
121
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that I could woo this caliber
of woman, Nell,
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00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:21,511
however I can't confirm
nor can I deny
123
00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:23,138
any of your assumptions.
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00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:24,890
Fine. Why do you even care
that a kid's coming over?
125
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:26,600
I thought you were going
out tonight with... Charlize?
126
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,768
Nice try.
My lover's busy,
127
00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:31,438
which means I will be playing
"Star Rim" all night,
128
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,899
which also means I will be
commandeering your fort.
129
00:04:33,899 --> 00:04:35,358
Don't worry.
Tilly and I will stay out
130
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:37,444
of your gross,
sex-swept hair.
131
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,780
I have lots of fun
activities planned
132
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,574
because I am Fun Aunt Nell,
DJ Airhorn.
133
00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:44,951
[ Imitates
Rasta airhorn ]
134
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,912
[ Knock on door ]
Ooh!
135
00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:48,497
[ Gasps ]
Hey, bestie!
136
00:04:48,497 --> 00:04:49,998
Hi, bestie.
137
00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:54,085
♪
138
00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:56,379
[ Dog barks ]
Arthur!
139
00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:59,174
Thank you again for watching her
on such short notice.
140
00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:01,426
Don't thank me. Thank the Spirit
in Journalism Committee
141
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:03,595
for failing to
recognize my work.
142
00:05:03,595 --> 00:05:05,931
Now, you take that shimmer eye
and that sweet peach for a spin.
143
00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:07,349
This one?
[ Gasps ]
144
00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:08,433
Eeow!
145
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:10,602
Tilly!
146
00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:12,812
Alright, Princess Tillifer
of the House of Tilly.
147
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:14,814
Shall we stroll
the village
148
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,983
and grace the commoners
with your presence?
149
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,568
Sorry, Aunt Nell.
I'm not really into
150
00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:20,612
this princess stuff
anymore.
151
00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:22,489
I think I just want to
read on the couch.
152
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:25,826
Oh, okay, yeah.
Reading is great, you know?
153
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:28,620
I'm into it.
Let's get lit... erature.
154
00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:30,705
Heh. I'm gonna go change
real quick, you know?
155
00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:32,415
This dress doesn't
let me breathe.
156
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,418
Isn't this wonderful?
157
00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:37,420
We're finally getting
the recognition we deserve,
158
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:39,756
like Jennifer Coolidge
or Brussels sprouts.
159
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,174
Do I have a back crease?
160
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,926
It's corduroy.
It's one giant crease.
161
00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:44,344
Look at me, though.
162
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:47,097
I'm out in the world,
I am enjoying myself,
163
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:49,307
I'm on my second martini,
and I am feeling--
164
00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:51,268
Oh, God. No, I'm actually
feeling quite nauseous.
165
00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:52,978
I should slow down, hey?
166
00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:54,229
Yeah, maybe slow down
a little.
Yeah.
167
00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:56,648
Well, I am so proud
of both of you.
168
00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,608
And no matter
what happens here tonight,
169
00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:00,485
the fact that
you were both nom--
170
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:01,820
Clap!
171
00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:03,572
[ Applause ]
172
00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:05,365
Oh. Who's this hottie?
[ Camera shutters clicking ]
173
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:08,326
Hello, Father!
Yes, it's to scale!
174
00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:10,287
I wish I was that thin.
Isn't this exciting?
175
00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:12,414
Your first
Lifetime Achievement Award,
176
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:15,166
and you're 15 years younger
than when Rupert got his.
177
00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:16,960
You always think
it's gonna be amazing
178
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,045
when you make
your first $10 million
179
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:21,256
or you buy
your second island.
180
00:06:21,256 --> 00:06:24,676
But I have to tell you--
it pales in comparison
181
00:06:24,676 --> 00:06:27,470
to being recognized
with a sit-down dinner.
182
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:30,307
Now I know what Gandhi
must have felt like
183
00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:32,601
if Gandhi had
a full head of hair.
184
00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:33,894
Ha!
185
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,812
I'm better Gandhi.
186
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,731
Yes, you are, Father!
187
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,232
Clap for better Gandhi!
188
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,942
[ Applause ]
189
00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:43,403
Okay, bestie,
so I didn't find any books,
190
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,322
but I did find a Glamour mag
that is three years old,
191
00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:48,074
but I think it should
probably hold up, but, um--
192
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:49,576
Uh, Tilly,
is this boring man
193
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,077
forcing you to play
some dumb game?
194
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:52,495
She wanted to play.
What?
195
00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:54,164
And she's been
surprisingly helpful.
196
00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:56,291
She found a break in
the space-time continuum.
197
00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:58,418
I play "Star Rim" with my dad
when he's home,
198
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,503
so I know
all the shortcuts.
199
00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:02,297
But, um, wouldn't you rather
do some TikTok dances?
200
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:03,798
We can even do a lift
this time.
201
00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:05,216
I went on a date
with a chiropractor.
202
00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:06,301
He taught me
how to engage my core
203
00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:07,636
so I won't hurt
my back again.
204
00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:09,804
But we're almost
at the outer cosmos!
205
00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:11,973
Oh, cool. Cool, cool,
cool, cool, cool. Yeah.
206
00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:13,975
Fun Aunt Nell
knows how to pivot. Heh.
207
00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:16,144
Here we go!
208
00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:17,562
[ Adventurous music playing ]
209
00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:19,689
[ Clears throat ]
210
00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:21,232
So is that an alien
or just a--
211
00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:22,359
Shh!
Shh!
212
00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:25,695
♪
213
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:32,869
[ Crunching ]
214
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:35,705
How long is this game?
How big is the universe?
215
00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:38,583
Ohh! She's about to land our pod
on the landing dock!
216
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:40,919
Yes!
217
00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:41,961
Good game.
Good game.
218
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,634
Oh, that's, um-- that's
our secret handshake.
219
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:49,552
But, I mean,
it's not a secret anymore,
220
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:51,971
'cause you guys just did it.
Anyway, it's fine.
221
00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:55,558
Um, so, do you want to revisit
those TikTok dances?
222
00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:59,187
I just learned a BTS dance.
Girl! Unh!
223
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,690
That's kinda cringe,
Aunt Nell.
224
00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:04,275
Yeah, I feel the same way. I was
just saying it ironically.
225
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:05,819
Anything else
you want to do, Tills?
226
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:08,405
Well, I have been wanting
to open up a restaurant.
227
00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:10,365
Ooh! "Top Chef" Tilly
in the house.
228
00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:12,701
Can I get a table
for... one, please?
229
00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:14,035
Edward?
230
00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:15,203
I could eat.
231
00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:16,996
Right this way.
232
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:19,082
[ Sighs ]
233
00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:20,667
I'll be back
to take your order.
234
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,460
Mm-hmm.
235
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:24,462
Okay, I don't know
what kind of wizardry
236
00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:26,214
you're doing on the little kid,
but, um...
237
00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:28,091
Tilly was always
all about me,
238
00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:30,885
and I don't know why she
suddenly is into you more.
239
00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:32,595
Kids can be weird.
240
00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:34,472
Maybe one day, your kids
will like you more.
241
00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:36,683
Yeah, I mean,
if I even have any.
242
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,268
I assumed as much.
243
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:40,520
You assumed?
You assumed?
244
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,731
I am so sorry.
Why would you assume that?
245
00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:44,816
Well, for starters,
your living situation
246
00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:46,526
and your job situation.
247
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,695
Also, you have a lack of urgency
to find a mate.
248
00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:50,113
Because I'm not desperate.
249
00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:52,490
If it happens, it happens.
250
00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:54,492
Oof. That's kind of a flawed way
of looking at things
251
00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:57,036
considering, at your age,
pregnancy is labeled geriatric
252
00:08:57,036 --> 00:08:58,705
and your odds
of conceiving
253
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,540
dwindling by
the menstrual cycle.
254
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,751
At this rate, your fertility
window isn't really closing.
255
00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:05,086
It's... kind of
painted shut.
256
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,465
Welcome to Chez Tilly.
257
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:10,467
May I start you off
with some water?
258
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:12,135
Sparkling or flat?
259
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:14,387
Tap. She's trying
to upsell us already.
260
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:17,223
Can I be seated
at another table, please?
261
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,267
Sorry. We're fully
accommodated tonight.
262
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:24,397
Crawfish at this time
of the year?
263
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:27,066
Color me skeptical...
but I'll try it.
264
00:09:27,066 --> 00:09:29,152
♪
265
00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:32,614
I cannot believe my lifetime
is being awarded!
266
00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:35,158
Congratulations
on sitting next to me.
267
00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:36,910
You must've done
something right.
268
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,953
Thank you, Mr. Rhodes,
I really needed to hear that
269
00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:41,122
because I'm actually thinking of
what I might say in case I win.
270
00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:43,082
Something like,
"It's a honor."
271
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:45,710
An-- An honor?
272
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:47,128
Uh, on her?
273
00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:48,963
Oh, no,
I said it so many times,
274
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:50,965
now it doesn't make sense
in my mouth.
275
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:52,884
Oh, you're a nervous
little fella, aren't ya?
276
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,929
Hey, Duncan's portion
277
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,347
seems a little bit bigger
than the rest of ours.
278
00:09:57,347 --> 00:10:00,100
I mean, I could eat this steak
in, like, two bites.
279
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,976
Oh. It makes
total sense, Sam.
280
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:04,521
He got the ribeye.
You got the mini-mignon.
281
00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:06,397
Huh.
282
00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:09,609
Also, I don't recognize anyone
else nominated in my category.
283
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,611
I mean, except for maybe
that guy over there,
284
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:14,197
who I'm pretty sure
is from a GEICO commercial.
285
00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:16,658
Oh, yes.
What a shame.
286
00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:18,326
So many journalists have to
take on commercial work
287
00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:19,828
in order to
make ends meet.
288
00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:21,704
It's really the sad state
of journalism.
289
00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:23,540
Uh-huh.
290
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,750
[ Clears throat ]
Gentle reminder, Ms. Rhodes.
291
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,377
Um, you only booked
the space until 9:00 p.m.
Yes.
292
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:29,087
And we have an AA meeting
coming in next,
293
00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:30,130
so we're gonna
need time to break down.
294
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,714
I'm aware of the schedule.
Yes.
295
00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:33,800
Okay. We will be gone in time,
you jackal!
296
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,885
Get out of here.
297
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:37,720
How much of that
did you hear?
298
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:38,930
How much do you think?
299
00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:40,473
So all of it.
Mm-hmm.
300
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,308
We'll be right back,
Father.
301
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:43,810
Boy!
[ Fingers snap ]
302
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,353
Get another picture
of my father eating.
303
00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:46,604
Ah!
304
00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:49,148
[ Camera shutter clicking ]
305
00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:50,483
Okay, fine.
It's all fake.
306
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,485
The awards aren't real.
I just paid for it all--
307
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,529
the space, the dinner,
the other nominees.
308
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:56,364
I mean, the emcee is my mechanic
who owed me a favor.
309
00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:59,117
Why would you do this?
Because I wanted my dad
310
00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:01,286
to see how well the paper
was being run under my charge.
311
00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:03,121
And to give my friends
a night to remember.
312
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:07,083
And the winner of Metro Editor
of the Year--
313
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:09,627
Dennis Simbeaux-Jones.
314
00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:13,006
Ohh! It's happening!
I'm happening!
315
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:15,425
This is the greatest night
of my life.
316
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:16,759
[ Applause ]
317
00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:19,178
♪
318
00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:20,972
What? Have you
talked to him recently?
319
00:11:20,972 --> 00:11:22,599
He really needs this.
320
00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:23,975
Alexis...
321
00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:25,143
♪
322
00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:27,562
[ Rapid scraping ]
323
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:30,356
Nell, could you stop--
stop-- stop with the noise?
324
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:31,941
Hmm?
Please? You don't even need
a knife for that salmon.
325
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:33,693
It's smooth as butter.
326
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,528
Uh, can you not tell me
how to eat my food?
327
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,614
And if you must know,
I was actually using the knife
328
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,991
on the cauliflower,
which is a bit undercooked.
329
00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:42,410
Is everyone
enjoying their meal?
330
00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:43,995
Oh, yes.
The food is so yummy.
331
00:11:43,995 --> 00:11:45,914
Okay.
Where do I begin?
332
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:47,916
At this price point,
the branzino,
333
00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:49,459
it shouldn't
have bones!
334
00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:51,210
I'm so sorry, sir.
335
00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:52,587
Also,
I ordered linguini.
336
00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:54,255
And here.
Take a look.
337
00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:58,551
You see that?
It sticks.
338
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,637
When it sticks to the wall,
it means it's overcooked.
339
00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:02,305
I am so sorry, sir.
340
00:12:02,305 --> 00:12:04,682
I'll take this right back
and speak to Chef.
341
00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:06,434
Thank you.
342
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:08,436
Can I try
some of your squash?
343
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:11,439
Wha--
Do you ever stop to think
344
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:13,608
about what you're gonna say
before you say it?
345
00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:16,194
And how maybe what you say
might hurt people?
346
00:12:16,194 --> 00:12:17,779
Critiques are necessary
if she wants to run
347
00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:20,281
a successful restaurant
in this economy.
348
00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:22,367
That isn't n--
349
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:25,036
Your soufflé, sir.
On the house.
350
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,748
Now we're talkin'.
Thank you.
351
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,708
Looks moist, fluffy.
352
00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:33,920
You know the secret to
a stable soufflé? Older eggs.
353
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,089
Ungh! That's so interesting.
It's so interesting.
354
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,383
What you're saying to me
is that you like older eggs
355
00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:40,927
in your dessert
but not in your human women!
356
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,053
Did I get that right?!
357
00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:44,138
I'll... go get
your check.
358
00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:46,432
I'm starting to think
this isn't about the soufflé.
359
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,060
Ya think?
360
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:54,274
Thank you for this
incredible... hon-or.
361
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,566
[ Applause ]
362
00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:57,068
Sam, you can't
leave now.
363
00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:58,361
They haven't announced
your award yet.
364
00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:01,489
What award?
None of this is real.
365
00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:03,574
I actually have a lot going on
at home right now, okay?
366
00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:06,160
I really don't need this.
I know, and I'm sorry.
367
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:09,122
I thought if I dedicated
an entire night
368
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,999
to my father
winning an award,
369
00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:13,960
then, finally, he would say
"thank you" to me.
370
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:18,214
And the winner for
Best Style Editor goes to...
371
00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:20,091
Sam Holkar.
372
00:13:20,091 --> 00:13:21,884
[ Applause ]
373
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:23,511
Okay, fine.
374
00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:25,388
But now you owe me
lots and lots of...
375
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:26,848
something I haven't
thought of yet.
376
00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:28,641
Thank you.
But keep your speech short.
377
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,476
The AA people
are eyeing the bar,
378
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:31,853
and I would hate to be
the cause of another relapse.
379
00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:35,023
Thank you.
380
00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:37,233
I don't know why you're so
upset. I'm just stating facts.
381
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:39,569
Well, your facts
are rude!
382
00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:42,572
Fact-- facts can't be rude.
Facts can only be facts.
383
00:13:42,572 --> 00:13:44,282
Rude is your interpretation
of the facts,
384
00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:45,742
which, again,
they're just facts.
385
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:48,369
No. Rude is
your dumb mouth
386
00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:50,788
which spouts
your dumb facts!
387
00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:52,790
Now, that's actually rude.
What do you want me to do?
388
00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:55,126
Do you want me to lie to you
and say that you have billions
389
00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:56,586
and billions
and billions of eggs
390
00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:59,338
and you could have a baby
until you're 90 or something?
391
00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:00,840
[ Grunts ]
392
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,341
Unh!
393
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:03,843
Nell!
394
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,678
That's a '97 Syrah,
395
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,555
and you just two-buck-chucked
it at me!
396
00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:10,808
Well, you're lucky it's not
the fork, which is real!
397
00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:14,228
Stop it! Why is everybody
always fighting?!
398
00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:16,647
Can't we just have
one nice dinner?!
399
00:14:17,899 --> 00:14:19,400
Ohh.
It'd be nice
if we could taste
400
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:20,735
a little of that passion
in the food.
401
00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:24,697
Mnh! Ugh!
402
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:31,287
Hey, Tilly, sweetie.
You alright?
403
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:33,164
Are you upset?
404
00:14:35,166 --> 00:14:37,251
[ Sighs ]
Was it Edward?
405
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:41,214
Was it me?
406
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:42,673
Mm-hmm.
407
00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:43,841
Is it
your baby brother?
408
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:47,095
He sucks, but no.
409
00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:49,222
Okay, well, if you want to
talk about it, I'm here.
410
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,599
Or we don't have to talk about
it if you don't want to.
411
00:14:51,599 --> 00:14:54,435
I could just sit here
with you.
412
00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:57,522
Whenever Daddy's home,
Mommy and Daddy fight--
413
00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:59,440
like how you guys
were fighting.
414
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,609
Mommy pretends
everything is okay,
415
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:03,820
but I know it's not.
416
00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:08,741
Oh, sweetie. Wow.
417
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,785
I'm so sorry.
418
00:15:10,785 --> 00:15:12,787
I mean, is that why you
wanted to play "Star Rim"?
419
00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:15,289
So that you can
feel close to Daddy?
420
00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:17,208
I think
Mommy and Daddy fight
421
00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:20,086
because I fight my brother
and they're mad at me.
422
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:24,132
No. No, no, no, no, no.
Tilly, come here.
423
00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:29,178
That is not your fault, okay?
424
00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:32,723
If Mommy and Daddy are fighting,
that has nothing to do with you.
425
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:34,976
They love you so much.
426
00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:38,396
You're the best thing
that ever happened to them.
427
00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:40,189
You know how I know?
How?
428
00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:43,192
Because they tell me--
like, all the time.
429
00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:45,069
They're like,
"Tills, she is the best.
430
00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:46,946
I love Tilly so much.
431
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:50,199
If Tilly were ice cream, she
would be my favorite flavor."
432
00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:51,993
And I happen to think
that your parents
433
00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:53,327
have some
really great taste,
434
00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:56,205
because you're
my favorite flavor.
435
00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:57,707
I'm just gonna take
scoops out of you.
436
00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:59,375
Let me just get
a little bite of this.
437
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,544
Oy, yoy, yoy, yoy!
Num, num, num, num, num!
438
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:04,839
Sorry we didn't do all
the fun stuff we usually do.
439
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:08,050
Oh, I'm not here
for just that.
440
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:11,429
Yeah. I mean...
I'm here for all of it.
441
00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:15,558
Nell,
I actually don't think
442
00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:18,269
TikTok dances are cringe
when you're doing them.
443
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:21,606
Right?
Unh! I got the moves!
444
00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:22,982
You know it!
445
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,443
♪
446
00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:27,862
Ohh...
447
00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:30,281
Speaking of thanks, uh,
there's a lot of folks
448
00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:32,867
I would like to thank
tonight.
449
00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:34,368
Ma'am,
we really need--
450
00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:35,912
Shh! This is it.
451
00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,121
Carl, my accountant,
452
00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:40,208
your work off-shore
and on...
453
00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:42,376
has been nothing short
of tremendous.
454
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:44,128
It's 10 after 9. The AA people
are breathing down--
455
00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:45,630
Just give me
one more minute!
456
00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:49,467
My stylist, Jacques.
Oh, my goodness.
457
00:16:49,467 --> 00:16:51,969
Merci beaucoup,
my friend.
458
00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:55,431
And, finally,
someone who is...
459
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:58,434
quite literally the reason
we are all here tonight,
460
00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:02,897
without whom none of this
could have been possible.
461
00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:05,066
This is it.
462
00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:08,861
Johannes Gutenberg,
463
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:12,865
the inventor
of the printing press.
464
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,034
Uh-huh.
I just learned that!
465
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,620
Okay. Wow. Heavy.
466
00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:18,871
[ Applause ]
467
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,373
Thank you. Good night.
468
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:21,582
Tear it all down.
469
00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:25,419
♪
470
00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:27,880
[ Indistinct conversations ]
471
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,840
Hey.
Um, call me crazy,
472
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,885
but I think my award
is peeling,
473
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:35,638
and, uh--
and underneath, it says, um...
474
00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:39,308
"Number One Dad,"
which is, uh...
475
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,644
I don't want to cry again,
but, um...
476
00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:44,939
You know, let's-- let's circle
back to this Monday.
477
00:17:44,939 --> 00:17:46,649
Have a good night.
478
00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:50,319
Nell:
So? How'd it go?
479
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:53,781
The entire ceremony
was fake.
What?!
480
00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:55,658
Lexi concocted the entire thing
just to impress her father.
481
00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,076
That's insane.
I know. Insane.
482
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,370
But totally on brand.
On brand and sad.
483
00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:01,539
Hey, so, um, if it makes you
feel any better...
484
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:03,165
Uh-huh.
...we had
fake dinner tonight.
485
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,084
Ooh! She finally got Chez Tilly
off the ground.
486
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,502
Good for her.
487
00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:08,629
Yeah, soft opening,
but it was nice.
488
00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:10,756
How's she doing?
Where is she?
She's asleep in my room.
489
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:12,550
Oh.
Wait, wait, wait.
Real quick.
490
00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:14,218
Mm?
491
00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:17,179
Um, so, we had, like,
a little talk earlier,
492
00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:19,348
and, um...
she kind of told me
493
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:21,392
that you and Keith
are not in the best place.
494
00:18:22,727 --> 00:18:25,313
Wow.
495
00:18:25,313 --> 00:18:27,773
Nothing gets past
that kid, huh?
496
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:29,817
Is he in San Francisco
because of work
497
00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:31,986
or because of you guys?
498
00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:33,612
A little bit of both.
Oh.
499
00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:35,781
Yeah, he's up there
'cause he's gotta work longer
500
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,742
and we are taking
some time apart
501
00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:38,993
until we
figure things out.
502
00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:41,996
Wow, Mama.
I am so sorry.
503
00:18:41,996 --> 00:18:44,290
I-I had no idea.
504
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:47,335
It's been really hard trying
to handle all of it on my own.
505
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,840
I'm here. I got you.
You're not on your own.
506
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,426
I know.
No, you have to know that.
507
00:18:55,426 --> 00:18:57,553
I am here for you
for whatever you need.
508
00:18:57,553 --> 00:19:00,014
You know, especially
when it comes to the kids.
509
00:19:00,014 --> 00:19:02,516
Girl, Fun Aunt Nell.
510
00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:05,061
Whatcha gonna do?
[ Imitates Rasta airhorn ]
511
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:06,312
Stop all of that.
All of it?
512
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:07,813
Just give me a hug.
I love you.
513
00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:09,315
I love you.
514
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,902
What are you doing?
515
00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:14,320
I know we only ate
imaginary food,
516
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,740
but I hate fingerprints
on the dishes.
517
00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:19,241
[ Sighs ]
518
00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:21,243
I'm sorry
I upset you earlier.
519
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:22,912
I didn't mean
to make you feel bad.
520
00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:24,914
I thought I was
just saying facts.
521
00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:27,500
But I now realize those facts
came across as rude
522
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,668
because you said
they were.
523
00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:31,629
I appreciate that.
524
00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:33,672
You know, but if I'm
being honest, uh,
525
00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:36,300
I think I needed
that reality check.
526
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:38,219
I keep hiding behind saying,
"If it happens, it happens,"
527
00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:40,429
but the truth is,
is it won't happen
528
00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:43,224
if I don't
make it happen.
529
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:45,684
And I do want it
to happen.
530
00:19:45,684 --> 00:19:46,894
You do?
531
00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:48,270
Yeah.
532
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:50,564
When I was with Tilly
earlier,
533
00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:54,443
it just felt... right.
534
00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:58,447
And, like, maybe I'd be good
at being a mom.
535
00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:00,199
I'm really glad
to hear you say that.
536
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,909
Yeah?
537
00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:04,245
Because after our tiff,
I did a little cursory research,
538
00:20:04,245 --> 00:20:06,122
and it turns out that the facts
are more encouraging
539
00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:08,124
than I previously thought.
Oh.
540
00:20:08,124 --> 00:20:10,918
There are a lot of
women who have healthy
children at your age.
541
00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:13,045
I do think you'll want
to focus on your diet
a little bit better,
542
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,839
and I know that's
an uphill battle for you.
543
00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:17,133
Got it. Thanks.
You can also
freeze your eggs.
544
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:18,926
Oh.
It is very costly,
and you're--
545
00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:20,678
Well, let's face it.
You're poor.
546
00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:22,888
Edward!
547
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:25,516
I'm just saying...
548
00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:27,935
I think
you'll be great at it.
549
00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:30,229
So just say that.
550
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:31,772
[ Groans ]
551
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,651
You would be great
at it.
552
00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:37,653
Thank you.
553
00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:40,239
[ Water sloshing ]
Okay. Well, you didn't
dry the plate.
554
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:42,074
I did.
There's gonna be rings
on it.
555
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,117
It's plenty dry.
We'll switch spots.
556
00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:50,541
Father, this isn't easy, but I
have something I'd like to say.
557
00:20:50,541 --> 00:20:53,252
I have spent my entire life
trying to impress you,
558
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:55,296
trying to get your approval,
559
00:20:55,296 --> 00:20:57,882
but you never seem interested.
560
00:20:57,882 --> 00:20:59,925
Well, guess what.
561
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:02,595
This entire awards show
was a sham!
562
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,889
And another thing-- I've never
liked your girlfriend Susan.
563
00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:06,724
Ma'am, I'm gonna have to
charge your credit card
564
00:21:06,724 --> 00:21:08,517
an extra hour.
565
00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:10,978
Yeah, don't interrupt me
when I'm talking to my father!
566
00:21:13,314 --> 00:21:16,400
Okay, Dad. Let's go.
567
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,569
We'll continue this in my car.
568
00:21:18,569 --> 00:21:21,030
♪
569
00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:23,532
I mean,
it's cheaper than therapy.