1 00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:03,879 ♪ 2 00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:05,380 Nell: "Estelle Dubroff, 3 00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:07,591 a devoted mother and grandmother, 4 00:00:07,591 --> 00:00:10,093 is survived by--" I still can't believe this-- 5 00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:13,180 16 children and 49 grandchildren." 6 00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:14,640 How do you remember all their names? 7 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:16,642 Patience, love... 8 00:00:16,642 --> 00:00:18,852 Oh. ...and name tags. 9 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:21,313 Lots of name tags. 10 00:00:21,313 --> 00:00:23,232 Are you thinking of having children? 11 00:00:23,232 --> 00:00:25,234 Ah, well, I-- Don't get me wrong. I love kids. 12 00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:27,027 I guess I'm just in a place in my life 13 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,654 right now where it feels like children 14 00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:30,072 might not be in the cards for me, you know? 15 00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:32,574 I know. I know. I sh-- 16 00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:34,368 Don't let it happen! 17 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:35,827 I'm sorry. Come again? 18 00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,287 Save your vagina! 19 00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:39,456 My vagina?! Oh... 20 00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:40,666 I-- [ Scoffs ] 21 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:45,837 Talking to my doctor. Yeah. [ Chuckles ] 22 00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:47,464 Wow. I was not expecting that. 23 00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:49,299 16 kids. 24 00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:52,427 That's 16 trips down one canal. 25 00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:54,805 Ohh. Do you know what that does to your body? 26 00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:56,640 For the first-- No, trust me. I have a great imagination. 27 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:57,808 But you love them, right? 28 00:00:57,808 --> 00:01:00,185 Ahh. Of course. 29 00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:04,189 Do you know who else I love? My nieces and nephews. 30 00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:07,359 Do yourself a favor. Be an aunt. 31 00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:10,654 You get all the fun stuff and none of the hard stuff. 32 00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:15,284 So... you gonna send me off now or...? 33 00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:17,536 Yeah. Sounds like you could use a little "me time." 34 00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:19,538 Oh, yeah. 35 00:01:19,538 --> 00:01:20,455 [ Keyboard clacks ] [ Message whooshes ] 36 00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:21,665 Ooh. 37 00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:28,630 ♪ 38 00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:30,382 Attention hirelings! 39 00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:32,342 Please give a warm welcome to the tallest 40 00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:34,928 and most powerful presence in any space-- 41 00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:38,390 my father, your work father, Duncan Rhodes! 42 00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:41,101 [ Applause ] Hello, hello, my essential workers. 43 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,686 I have some very exciting news 44 00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:43,729 about me. 45 00:01:43,729 --> 00:01:45,272 It turns out that 46 00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:46,857 I will be awarded 47 00:01:46,857 --> 00:01:48,859 the Spirit in Journalism 48 00:01:48,859 --> 00:01:50,360 Lifetime Achievement Award. 49 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,238 Yes! He shoots, he Duncans! 50 00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:56,366 [ Chuckles ] Uh, sports! 51 00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:57,743 So it just goes to show 52 00:01:57,743 --> 00:01:59,286 that if you work hard 53 00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:01,038 and have a lot of money 54 00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:03,206 and sabotage your rivals, 55 00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:05,625 one day, your entire lifetime 56 00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:06,668 could be an achievement 57 00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:07,878 deserving of an award. 58 00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:10,047 [ Cellphone chimes ] 59 00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:12,049 Oh, hold on. It seems Father may not be 60 00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:13,759 the only one garnering some recognition. 61 00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:15,344 Everyone, check your e-mails. 62 00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:16,511 [ Cellphone chimes ] [ Gasps ] Oh, my God! 63 00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:17,721 I've been nominated for an award! 64 00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:18,972 [ Cellphone chimes ] What? 65 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,557 I was nominated, too! 66 00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:22,142 I didn't get an e-mail. 67 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,436 It's, like, not even in my spam folder or anything. 68 00:02:24,436 --> 00:02:26,188 Maybe I need to stand closer to the router. 69 00:02:26,188 --> 00:02:27,898 So if you need me, 70 00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:29,524 I'll be looking into 71 00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:31,610 how to parlay this success 72 00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:33,820 into a run for public office, 73 00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:36,365 because remember-- sky's the limit when you're me. 74 00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:38,784 [ Applause ] Okay. Thank you. 75 00:02:38,784 --> 00:02:41,662 This is so stressful. Keith is out of town, 76 00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:43,538 and his mom can only handle one baby at a time, 77 00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:45,082 so I need to find a sitter. 78 00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:47,167 Ugh! Tell me about it. Ben is also out of town, 79 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,294 so we need to find a sitter. 80 00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:52,464 No! Don't-- No, no! Yes, yes! 81 00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:53,924 Don't-- Mnh! I never should have shared 82 00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:55,092 my sitter information with you. 83 00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:56,635 [ Messages whoosh ] 84 00:02:56,635 --> 00:02:58,303 [ Message bloops ] Yes! 85 00:02:58,303 --> 00:02:59,805 Aah! Ha ha ha! 86 00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:02,140 Ashley comes through for the Den-Bens. 87 00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:03,892 Aw. Don't make that face. 88 00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:06,019 Your sacrifice will not be forgotten. 89 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:08,188 Hey. If you need somebody to watch the kids, 90 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,273 Fun Aunt Nell's got a lot of fun to give. 91 00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:12,901 Ooh! Yes! yes! I love this! Ha! Yes. 92 00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:15,362 Okay, so, I will leave the baby with Keith's mom. 93 00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:17,531 And Tilly has been feeling jealous about her baby brother, 94 00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,658 so she could use some one-on-one time with her favorite auntie. 95 00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,326 Perfect! Awesome! 96 00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:23,161 Yeah, Till's my best bestie. 97 00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:25,122 She really gets me, you know? Plus, I've been itching 98 00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:26,832 for an excuse to wear that princess dress again. 99 00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:29,251 Mm! Because I'm not just a godmother. 100 00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:31,420 [ As Vito Corleone ] I'm her fairy godmother. 101 00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:35,507 I'm gonna make her an offer she can't refuse-a. 102 00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:37,634 Something tells me you've never seen "The Godfather." 103 00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:39,970 [ Normal voice ] Really? I-- How do you figure? 104 00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:44,057 What do you think, Arthur? You like my fort? 105 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,809 [ Dog whimpers ] Top-notch, huh? 106 00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:47,227 [ Gasps ] A bra? 107 00:03:51,273 --> 00:03:53,108 What's all this? I'm building a princess fort. 108 00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:55,360 Tilly's coming over. What's all this? 109 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,487 Belongs to my lady friend. Would've been nice to get 110 00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:59,072 a heads-up that a child was coming over. 111 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,282 Would've been nice to get a heads-up 112 00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:02,909 that you're hooking up on our communal couch. 113 00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:04,619 Disgusting. I don't love it. 114 00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:06,538 Who is this person, anyway? 115 00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:08,999 Can't tell you. Signed an NDA. 116 00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:11,126 [ Gasps ] They're definitely famous. Come on. 117 00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:13,170 Is it Selena Gomez? Judy Blume? 118 00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:14,546 [ Gasps, purrs ] Martha Stewart? 119 00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:15,964 Are you her new Snoop? 120 00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:17,591 I appreciate you understanding 121 00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:19,217 that I could woo this caliber of woman, Nell, 122 00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:21,511 however I can't confirm nor can I deny 123 00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:23,138 any of your assumptions. 124 00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:24,890 Fine. Why do you even care that a kid's coming over? 125 00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:26,600 I thought you were going out tonight with... Charlize? 126 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,768 Nice try. My lover's busy, 127 00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:31,438 which means I will be playing "Star Rim" all night, 128 00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,899 which also means I will be commandeering your fort. 129 00:04:33,899 --> 00:04:35,358 Don't worry. Tilly and I will stay out 130 00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:37,444 of your gross, sex-swept hair. 131 00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,780 I have lots of fun activities planned 132 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,574 because I am Fun Aunt Nell, DJ Airhorn. 133 00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:44,951 [ Imitates Rasta airhorn ] 134 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,912 [ Knock on door ] Ooh! 135 00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:48,497 [ Gasps ] Hey, bestie! 136 00:04:48,497 --> 00:04:49,998 Hi, bestie. 137 00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:54,085 ♪ 138 00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:56,379 [ Dog barks ] Arthur! 139 00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:59,174 Thank you again for watching her on such short notice. 140 00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:01,426 Don't thank me. Thank the Spirit in Journalism Committee 141 00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:03,595 for failing to recognize my work. 142 00:05:03,595 --> 00:05:05,931 Now, you take that shimmer eye and that sweet peach for a spin. 143 00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:07,349 This one? [ Gasps ] 144 00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:08,433 Eeow! 145 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:10,602 Tilly! 146 00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:12,812 Alright, Princess Tillifer of the House of Tilly. 147 00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:14,814 Shall we stroll the village 148 00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,983 and grace the commoners with your presence? 149 00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,568 Sorry, Aunt Nell. I'm not really into 150 00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:20,612 this princess stuff anymore. 151 00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:22,489 I think I just want to read on the couch. 152 00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:25,826 Oh, okay, yeah. Reading is great, you know? 153 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:28,620 I'm into it. Let's get lit... erature. 154 00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:30,705 Heh. I'm gonna go change real quick, you know? 155 00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:32,415 This dress doesn't let me breathe. 156 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,418 Isn't this wonderful? 157 00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:37,420 We're finally getting the recognition we deserve, 158 00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:39,756 like Jennifer Coolidge or Brussels sprouts. 159 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,174 Do I have a back crease? 160 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,926 It's corduroy. It's one giant crease. 161 00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:44,344 Look at me, though. 162 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:47,097 I'm out in the world, I am enjoying myself, 163 00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:49,307 I'm on my second martini, and I am feeling-- 164 00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:51,268 Oh, God. No, I'm actually feeling quite nauseous. 165 00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:52,978 I should slow down, hey? 166 00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:54,229 Yeah, maybe slow down a little. Yeah. 167 00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:56,648 Well, I am so proud of both of you. 168 00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,608 And no matter what happens here tonight, 169 00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:00,485 the fact that you were both nom-- 170 00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:01,820 Clap! 171 00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:03,572 [ Applause ] 172 00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:05,365 Oh. Who's this hottie? [ Camera shutters clicking ] 173 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:08,326 Hello, Father! Yes, it's to scale! 174 00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:10,287 I wish I was that thin. Isn't this exciting? 175 00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:12,414 Your first Lifetime Achievement Award, 176 00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:15,166 and you're 15 years younger than when Rupert got his. 177 00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:16,960 You always think it's gonna be amazing 178 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,045 when you make your first $10 million 179 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:21,256 or you buy your second island. 180 00:06:21,256 --> 00:06:24,676 But I have to tell you-- it pales in comparison 181 00:06:24,676 --> 00:06:27,470 to being recognized with a sit-down dinner. 182 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:30,307 Now I know what Gandhi must have felt like 183 00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:32,601 if Gandhi had a full head of hair. 184 00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:33,894 Ha! 185 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,812 I'm better Gandhi. 186 00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,731 Yes, you are, Father! 187 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,232 Clap for better Gandhi! 188 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,942 [ Applause ] 189 00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:43,403 Okay, bestie, so I didn't find any books, 190 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,322 but I did find a Glamour mag that is three years old, 191 00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:48,074 but I think it should probably hold up, but, um-- 192 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:49,576 Uh, Tilly, is this boring man 193 00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,077 forcing you to play some dumb game? 194 00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:52,495 She wanted to play. What? 195 00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:54,164 And she's been surprisingly helpful. 196 00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:56,291 She found a break in the space-time continuum. 197 00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:58,418 I play "Star Rim" with my dad when he's home, 198 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,503 so I know all the shortcuts. 199 00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:02,297 But, um, wouldn't you rather do some TikTok dances? 200 00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:03,798 We can even do a lift this time. 201 00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:05,216 I went on a date with a chiropractor. 202 00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:06,301 He taught me how to engage my core 203 00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:07,636 so I won't hurt my back again. 204 00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:09,804 But we're almost at the outer cosmos! 205 00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:11,973 Oh, cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Yeah. 206 00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:13,975 Fun Aunt Nell knows how to pivot. Heh. 207 00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:16,144 Here we go! 208 00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:17,562 [ Adventurous music playing ] 209 00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:19,689 [ Clears throat ] 210 00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:21,232 So is that an alien or just a-- 211 00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:22,359 Shh! Shh! 212 00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:25,695 ♪ 213 00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:32,869 [ Crunching ] 214 00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:35,705 How long is this game? How big is the universe? 215 00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:38,583 Ohh! She's about to land our pod on the landing dock! 216 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:40,919 Yes! 217 00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:41,961 Good game. Good game. 218 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,634 Oh, that's, um-- that's our secret handshake. 219 00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:49,552 But, I mean, it's not a secret anymore, 220 00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:51,971 'cause you guys just did it. Anyway, it's fine. 221 00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:55,558 Um, so, do you want to revisit those TikTok dances? 222 00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:59,187 I just learned a BTS dance. Girl! Unh! 223 00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,690 That's kinda cringe, Aunt Nell. 224 00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:04,275 Yeah, I feel the same way. I was just saying it ironically. 225 00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:05,819 Anything else you want to do, Tills? 226 00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:08,405 Well, I have been wanting to open up a restaurant. 227 00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:10,365 Ooh! "Top Chef" Tilly in the house. 228 00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:12,701 Can I get a table for... one, please? 229 00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:14,035 Edward? 230 00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:15,203 I could eat. 231 00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:16,996 Right this way. 232 00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:19,082 [ Sighs ] 233 00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:20,667 I'll be back to take your order. 234 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,460 Mm-hmm. 235 00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:24,462 Okay, I don't know what kind of wizardry 236 00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:26,214 you're doing on the little kid, but, um... 237 00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:28,091 Tilly was always all about me, 238 00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:30,885 and I don't know why she suddenly is into you more. 239 00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:32,595 Kids can be weird. 240 00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:34,472 Maybe one day, your kids will like you more. 241 00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:36,683 Yeah, I mean, if I even have any. 242 00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,268 I assumed as much. 243 00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:40,520 You assumed? You assumed? 244 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,731 I am so sorry. Why would you assume that? 245 00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:44,816 Well, for starters, your living situation 246 00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:46,526 and your job situation. 247 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,695 Also, you have a lack of urgency to find a mate. 248 00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:50,113 Because I'm not desperate. 249 00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:52,490 If it happens, it happens. 250 00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:54,492 Oof. That's kind of a flawed way of looking at things 251 00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:57,036 considering, at your age, pregnancy is labeled geriatric 252 00:08:57,036 --> 00:08:58,705 and your odds of conceiving 253 00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,540 dwindling by the menstrual cycle. 254 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,751 At this rate, your fertility window isn't really closing. 255 00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:05,086 It's... kind of painted shut. 256 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,465 Welcome to Chez Tilly. 257 00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:10,467 May I start you off with some water? 258 00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:12,135 Sparkling or flat? 259 00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:14,387 Tap. She's trying to upsell us already. 260 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:17,223 Can I be seated at another table, please? 261 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,267 Sorry. We're fully accommodated tonight. 262 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:24,397 Crawfish at this time of the year? 263 00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:27,066 Color me skeptical... but I'll try it. 264 00:09:27,066 --> 00:09:29,152 ♪ 265 00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:32,614 I cannot believe my lifetime is being awarded! 266 00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:35,158 Congratulations on sitting next to me. 267 00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:36,910 You must've done something right. 268 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,953 Thank you, Mr. Rhodes, I really needed to hear that 269 00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:41,122 because I'm actually thinking of what I might say in case I win. 270 00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:43,082 Something like, "It's a honor." 271 00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:45,710 An-- An honor? 272 00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:47,128 Uh, on her? 273 00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:48,963 Oh, no, I said it so many times, 274 00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:50,965 now it doesn't make sense in my mouth. 275 00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:52,884 Oh, you're a nervous little fella, aren't ya? 276 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,929 Hey, Duncan's portion 277 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,347 seems a little bit bigger than the rest of ours. 278 00:09:57,347 --> 00:10:00,100 I mean, I could eat this steak in, like, two bites. 279 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,976 Oh. It makes total sense, Sam. 280 00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:04,521 He got the ribeye. You got the mini-mignon. 281 00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:06,397 Huh. 282 00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:09,609 Also, I don't recognize anyone else nominated in my category. 283 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,611 I mean, except for maybe that guy over there, 284 00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:14,197 who I'm pretty sure is from a GEICO commercial. 285 00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:16,658 Oh, yes. What a shame. 286 00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:18,326 So many journalists have to take on commercial work 287 00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:19,828 in order to make ends meet. 288 00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:21,704 It's really the sad state of journalism. 289 00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:23,540 Uh-huh. 290 00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,750 [ Clears throat ] Gentle reminder, Ms. Rhodes. 291 00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,377 Um, you only booked the space until 9:00 p.m. Yes. 292 00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:29,087 And we have an AA meeting coming in next, 293 00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:30,130 so we're gonna need time to break down. 294 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,714 I'm aware of the schedule. Yes. 295 00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:33,800 Okay. We will be gone in time, you jackal! 296 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,885 Get out of here. 297 00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:37,720 How much of that did you hear? 298 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:38,930 How much do you think? 299 00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:40,473 So all of it. Mm-hmm. 300 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,308 We'll be right back, Father. 301 00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:43,810 Boy! [ Fingers snap ] 302 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,353 Get another picture of my father eating. 303 00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:46,604 Ah! 304 00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:49,148 [ Camera shutter clicking ] 305 00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:50,483 Okay, fine. It's all fake. 306 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,485 The awards aren't real. I just paid for it all-- 307 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,529 the space, the dinner, the other nominees. 308 00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:56,364 I mean, the emcee is my mechanic who owed me a favor. 309 00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:59,117 Why would you do this? Because I wanted my dad 310 00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:01,286 to see how well the paper was being run under my charge. 311 00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:03,121 And to give my friends a night to remember. 312 00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:07,083 And the winner of Metro Editor of the Year-- 313 00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:09,627 Dennis Simbeaux-Jones. 314 00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:13,006 Ohh! It's happening! I'm happening! 315 00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:15,425 This is the greatest night of my life. 316 00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:16,759 [ Applause ] 317 00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:19,178 ♪ 318 00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:20,972 What? Have you talked to him recently? 319 00:11:20,972 --> 00:11:22,599 He really needs this. 320 00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:23,975 Alexis... 321 00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:25,143 ♪ 322 00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:27,562 [ Rapid scraping ] 323 00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:30,356 Nell, could you stop-- stop-- stop with the noise? 324 00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:31,941 Hmm? Please? You don't even need a knife for that salmon. 325 00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:33,693 It's smooth as butter. 326 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,528 Uh, can you not tell me how to eat my food? 327 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,614 And if you must know, I was actually using the knife 328 00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,991 on the cauliflower, which is a bit undercooked. 329 00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:42,410 Is everyone enjoying their meal? 330 00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:43,995 Oh, yes. The food is so yummy. 331 00:11:43,995 --> 00:11:45,914 Okay. Where do I begin? 332 00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:47,916 At this price point, the branzino, 333 00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:49,459 it shouldn't have bones! 334 00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:51,210 I'm so sorry, sir. 335 00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:52,587 Also, I ordered linguini. 336 00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:54,255 And here. Take a look. 337 00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:58,551 You see that? It sticks. 338 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,637 When it sticks to the wall, it means it's overcooked. 339 00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:02,305 I am so sorry, sir. 340 00:12:02,305 --> 00:12:04,682 I'll take this right back and speak to Chef. 341 00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:06,434 Thank you. 342 00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:08,436 Can I try some of your squash? 343 00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:11,439 Wha-- Do you ever stop to think 344 00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:13,608 about what you're gonna say before you say it? 345 00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:16,194 And how maybe what you say might hurt people? 346 00:12:16,194 --> 00:12:17,779 Critiques are necessary if she wants to run 347 00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:20,281 a successful restaurant in this economy. 348 00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:22,367 That isn't n-- 349 00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:25,036 Your soufflé, sir. On the house. 350 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,748 Now we're talkin'. Thank you. 351 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,708 Looks moist, fluffy. 352 00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:33,920 You know the secret to a stable soufflé? Older eggs. 353 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,089 Ungh! That's so interesting. It's so interesting. 354 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,383 What you're saying to me is that you like older eggs 355 00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:40,927 in your dessert but not in your human women! 356 00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,053 Did I get that right?! 357 00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:44,138 I'll... go get your check. 358 00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:46,432 I'm starting to think this isn't about the soufflé. 359 00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,060 Ya think? 360 00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:54,274 Thank you for this incredible... hon-or. 361 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,566 [ Applause ] 362 00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:57,068 Sam, you can't leave now. 363 00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:58,361 They haven't announced your award yet. 364 00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:01,489 What award? None of this is real. 365 00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:03,574 I actually have a lot going on at home right now, okay? 366 00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:06,160 I really don't need this. I know, and I'm sorry. 367 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:09,122 I thought if I dedicated an entire night 368 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,999 to my father winning an award, 369 00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:13,960 then, finally, he would say "thank you" to me. 370 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:18,214 And the winner for Best Style Editor goes to... 371 00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:20,091 Sam Holkar. 372 00:13:20,091 --> 00:13:21,884 [ Applause ] 373 00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:23,511 Okay, fine. 374 00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:25,388 But now you owe me lots and lots of... 375 00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:26,848 something I haven't thought of yet. 376 00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:28,641 Thank you. But keep your speech short. 377 00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,476 The AA people are eyeing the bar, 378 00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:31,853 and I would hate to be the cause of another relapse. 379 00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:35,023 Thank you. 380 00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:37,233 I don't know why you're so upset. I'm just stating facts. 381 00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:39,569 Well, your facts are rude! 382 00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:42,572 Fact-- facts can't be rude. Facts can only be facts. 383 00:13:42,572 --> 00:13:44,282 Rude is your interpretation of the facts, 384 00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:45,742 which, again, they're just facts. 385 00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:48,369 No. Rude is your dumb mouth 386 00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:50,788 which spouts your dumb facts! 387 00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:52,790 Now, that's actually rude. What do you want me to do? 388 00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:55,126 Do you want me to lie to you and say that you have billions 389 00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:56,586 and billions and billions of eggs 390 00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:59,338 and you could have a baby until you're 90 or something? 391 00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:00,840 [ Grunts ] 392 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,341 Unh! 393 00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:03,843 Nell! 394 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,678 That's a '97 Syrah, 395 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,555 and you just two-buck-chucked it at me! 396 00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:10,808 Well, you're lucky it's not the fork, which is real! 397 00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:14,228 Stop it! Why is everybody always fighting?! 398 00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:16,647 Can't we just have one nice dinner?! 399 00:14:17,899 --> 00:14:19,400 Ohh. It'd be nice if we could taste 400 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:20,735 a little of that passion in the food. 401 00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:24,697 Mnh! Ugh! 402 00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:31,287 Hey, Tilly, sweetie. You alright? 403 00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:33,164 Are you upset? 404 00:14:35,166 --> 00:14:37,251 [ Sighs ] Was it Edward? 405 00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:41,214 Was it me? 406 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:42,673 Mm-hmm. 407 00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:43,841 Is it your baby brother? 408 00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:47,095 He sucks, but no. 409 00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:49,222 Okay, well, if you want to talk about it, I'm here. 410 00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,599 Or we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. 411 00:14:51,599 --> 00:14:54,435 I could just sit here with you. 412 00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:57,522 Whenever Daddy's home, Mommy and Daddy fight-- 413 00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:59,440 like how you guys were fighting. 414 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,609 Mommy pretends everything is okay, 415 00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:03,820 but I know it's not. 416 00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:08,741 Oh, sweetie. Wow. 417 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,785 I'm so sorry. 418 00:15:10,785 --> 00:15:12,787 I mean, is that why you wanted to play "Star Rim"? 419 00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:15,289 So that you can feel close to Daddy? 420 00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:17,208 I think Mommy and Daddy fight 421 00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:20,086 because I fight my brother and they're mad at me. 422 00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:24,132 No. No, no, no, no, no. Tilly, come here. 423 00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:29,178 That is not your fault, okay? 424 00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:32,723 If Mommy and Daddy are fighting, that has nothing to do with you. 425 00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:34,976 They love you so much. 426 00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:38,396 You're the best thing that ever happened to them. 427 00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:40,189 You know how I know? How? 428 00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:43,192 Because they tell me-- like, all the time. 429 00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:45,069 They're like, "Tills, she is the best. 430 00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:46,946 I love Tilly so much. 431 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:50,199 If Tilly were ice cream, she would be my favorite flavor." 432 00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:51,993 And I happen to think that your parents 433 00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:53,327 have some really great taste, 434 00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:56,205 because you're my favorite flavor. 435 00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:57,707 I'm just gonna take scoops out of you. 436 00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:59,375 Let me just get a little bite of this. 437 00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,544 Oy, yoy, yoy, yoy! Num, num, num, num, num! 438 00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:04,839 Sorry we didn't do all the fun stuff we usually do. 439 00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:08,050 Oh, I'm not here for just that. 440 00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:11,429 Yeah. I mean... I'm here for all of it. 441 00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:15,558 Nell, I actually don't think 442 00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:18,269 TikTok dances are cringe when you're doing them. 443 00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:21,606 Right? Unh! I got the moves! 444 00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:22,982 You know it! 445 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,443 ♪ 446 00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:27,862 Ohh... 447 00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:30,281 Speaking of thanks, uh, there's a lot of folks 448 00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:32,867 I would like to thank tonight. 449 00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:34,368 Ma'am, we really need-- 450 00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:35,912 Shh! This is it. 451 00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,121 Carl, my accountant, 452 00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:40,208 your work off-shore and on... 453 00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:42,376 has been nothing short of tremendous. 454 00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:44,128 It's 10 after 9. The AA people are breathing down-- 455 00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:45,630 Just give me one more minute! 456 00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:49,467 My stylist, Jacques. Oh, my goodness. 457 00:16:49,467 --> 00:16:51,969 Merci beaucoup, my friend. 458 00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:55,431 And, finally, someone who is... 459 00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:58,434 quite literally the reason we are all here tonight, 460 00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:02,897 without whom none of this could have been possible. 461 00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:05,066 This is it. 462 00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:08,861 Johannes Gutenberg, 463 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:12,865 the inventor of the printing press. 464 00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,034 Uh-huh. I just learned that! 465 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,620 Okay. Wow. Heavy. 466 00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:18,871 [ Applause ] 467 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,373 Thank you. Good night. 468 00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:21,582 Tear it all down. 469 00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:25,419 ♪ 470 00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:27,880 [ Indistinct conversations ] 471 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,840 Hey. Um, call me crazy, 472 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,885 but I think my award is peeling, 473 00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:35,638 and, uh-- and underneath, it says, um... 474 00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:39,308 "Number One Dad," which is, uh... 475 00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,644 I don't want to cry again, but, um... 476 00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:44,939 You know, let's-- let's circle back to this Monday. 477 00:17:44,939 --> 00:17:46,649 Have a good night. 478 00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:50,319 Nell: So? How'd it go? 479 00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:53,781 The entire ceremony was fake. What?! 480 00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:55,658 Lexi concocted the entire thing just to impress her father. 481 00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,076 That's insane. I know. Insane. 482 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,370 But totally on brand. On brand and sad. 483 00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:01,539 Hey, so, um, if it makes you feel any better... 484 00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:03,165 Uh-huh. ...we had fake dinner tonight. 485 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,084 Ooh! She finally got Chez Tilly off the ground. 486 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,502 Good for her. 487 00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:08,629 Yeah, soft opening, but it was nice. 488 00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:10,756 How's she doing? Where is she? She's asleep in my room. 489 00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:12,550 Oh. Wait, wait, wait. Real quick. 490 00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:14,218 Mm? 491 00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:17,179 Um, so, we had, like, a little talk earlier, 492 00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:19,348 and, um... she kind of told me 493 00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:21,392 that you and Keith are not in the best place. 494 00:18:22,727 --> 00:18:25,313 Wow. 495 00:18:25,313 --> 00:18:27,773 Nothing gets past that kid, huh? 496 00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:29,817 Is he in San Francisco because of work 497 00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:31,986 or because of you guys? 498 00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:33,612 A little bit of both. Oh. 499 00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:35,781 Yeah, he's up there 'cause he's gotta work longer 500 00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,742 and we are taking some time apart 501 00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:38,993 until we figure things out. 502 00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:41,996 Wow, Mama. I am so sorry. 503 00:18:41,996 --> 00:18:44,290 I-I had no idea. 504 00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:47,335 It's been really hard trying to handle all of it on my own. 505 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,840 I'm here. I got you. You're not on your own. 506 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,426 I know. No, you have to know that. 507 00:18:55,426 --> 00:18:57,553 I am here for you for whatever you need. 508 00:18:57,553 --> 00:19:00,014 You know, especially when it comes to the kids. 509 00:19:00,014 --> 00:19:02,516 Girl, Fun Aunt Nell. 510 00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:05,061 Whatcha gonna do? [ Imitates Rasta airhorn ] 511 00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:06,312 Stop all of that. All of it? 512 00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:07,813 Just give me a hug. I love you. 513 00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:09,315 I love you. 514 00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,902 What are you doing? 515 00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:14,320 I know we only ate imaginary food, 516 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,740 but I hate fingerprints on the dishes. 517 00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:19,241 [ Sighs ] 518 00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:21,243 I'm sorry I upset you earlier. 519 00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:22,912 I didn't mean to make you feel bad. 520 00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:24,914 I thought I was just saying facts. 521 00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:27,500 But I now realize those facts came across as rude 522 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,668 because you said they were. 523 00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:31,629 I appreciate that. 524 00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:33,672 You know, but if I'm being honest, uh, 525 00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:36,300 I think I needed that reality check. 526 00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:38,219 I keep hiding behind saying, "If it happens, it happens," 527 00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:40,429 but the truth is, is it won't happen 528 00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:43,224 if I don't make it happen. 529 00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:45,684 And I do want it to happen. 530 00:19:45,684 --> 00:19:46,894 You do? 531 00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:48,270 Yeah. 532 00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:50,564 When I was with Tilly earlier, 533 00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:54,443 it just felt... right. 534 00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:58,447 And, like, maybe I'd be good at being a mom. 535 00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:00,199 I'm really glad to hear you say that. 536 00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,909 Yeah? 537 00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:04,245 Because after our tiff, I did a little cursory research, 538 00:20:04,245 --> 00:20:06,122 and it turns out that the facts are more encouraging 539 00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:08,124 than I previously thought. Oh. 540 00:20:08,124 --> 00:20:10,918 There are a lot of women who have healthy children at your age. 541 00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:13,045 I do think you'll want to focus on your diet a little bit better, 542 00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,839 and I know that's an uphill battle for you. 543 00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:17,133 Got it. Thanks. You can also freeze your eggs. 544 00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:18,926 Oh. It is very costly, and you're-- 545 00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:20,678 Well, let's face it. You're poor. 546 00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:22,888 Edward! 547 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:25,516 I'm just saying... 548 00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:27,935 I think you'll be great at it. 549 00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:30,229 So just say that. 550 00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:31,772 [ Groans ] 551 00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,651 You would be great at it. 552 00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:37,653 Thank you. 553 00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:40,239 [ Water sloshing ] Okay. Well, you didn't dry the plate. 554 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:42,074 I did. There's gonna be rings on it. 555 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,117 It's plenty dry. We'll switch spots. 556 00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:50,541 Father, this isn't easy, but I have something I'd like to say. 557 00:20:50,541 --> 00:20:53,252 I have spent my entire life trying to impress you, 558 00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:55,296 trying to get your approval, 559 00:20:55,296 --> 00:20:57,882 but you never seem interested. 560 00:20:57,882 --> 00:20:59,925 Well, guess what. 561 00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:02,595 This entire awards show was a sham! 562 00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,889 And another thing-- I've never liked your girlfriend Susan. 563 00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:06,724 Ma'am, I'm gonna have to charge your credit card 564 00:21:06,724 --> 00:21:08,517 an extra hour. 565 00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:10,978 Yeah, don't interrupt me when I'm talking to my father! 566 00:21:13,314 --> 00:21:16,400 Okay, Dad. Let's go. 567 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,569 We'll continue this in my car. 568 00:21:18,569 --> 00:21:21,030 ♪ 569 00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:23,532 I mean, it's cheaper than therapy.