1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,003
{\an8}(人生派餅圖,朋友
珊姆、丹尼斯、艾德華,家人)
2
00:00:05,755 --> 00:00:07,090
請進,室友
3
00:00:07,924 --> 00:00:09,634
妳心情很好
4
00:00:09,634 --> 00:00:12,220
又在團購藥品和手指顏料組合包嗎?
5
00:00:12,220 --> 00:00:13,471
是葡萄酒和水彩
6
00:00:13,471 --> 00:00:16,391
不是,我在畫我的第一張人生派餅圖
7
00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:18,184
我在以前的《歐普拉雜誌》上看到的
8
00:00:18,184 --> 00:00:21,229
每一塊代表你人生中的不同面向
9
00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:23,398
我想要每年生日都畫一張
10
00:00:23,398 --> 00:00:26,151
只是今年我第一次填滿了每一塊
11
00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:28,069
沒有讓人沮喪的空虛圓餅
12
00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:30,321
- 今天是妳生日?
- 對
13
00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:31,990
謝謝你記得
14
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:33,491
- 趁你還沒問...
- 我不打算問
15
00:00:33,491 --> 00:00:35,285
首先,朋友這一塊
16
00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:37,579
恭喜,你是其中一員
17
00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:39,414
真榮幸登上妳詭異的派餅
18
00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:41,958
至於愛情這一塊
雖然我和TJ的戀情無疾而終
19
00:00:41,958 --> 00:00:43,877
但這是因為家庭這一塊
20
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:46,755
我非常興奮,因為我要凍卵了
21
00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:49,591
雖然要價不菲,但我勉強能負擔費用
22
00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:51,426
因為我薪資微薄卻偉大的工作...
23
00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:53,386
- 你還在聽嗎?
- 我根本沒在聽
24
00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:56,556
奈兒,我必須告訴妳一件事,去客廳
25
00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:58,850
驚喜生日禮物
26
00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:01,853
快點,艾德華,有話快說
27
00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:05,648
我寧願和你恩愛,也不要在這裡聊天
28
00:01:06,941 --> 00:01:08,693
我必須告訴妳們一件事
29
00:01:08,693 --> 00:01:10,028
妳能不能...
30
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:14,491
我這幾天一直反覆思考應該先告訴誰
31
00:01:14,991 --> 00:01:17,535
奈兒,儘管妳克制不吃我零食的能力
32
00:01:17,535 --> 00:01:19,496
- 堪比吼猴...
- 謝謝
33
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,581
但我們已經變成親密的好友
34
00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:24,834
另外,萊克希,我的愛人
35
00:01:24,834 --> 00:01:26,753
我的女神
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00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:29,422
妳喚醒了我從未探索過的身體部位...
37
00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:31,132
別在我生日講,好嗎?
38
00:01:31,132 --> 00:01:32,217
謝謝
39
00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:34,511
基於上述理由
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我認為我可以同時告訴妳們
41
00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:42,560
鄧肯要賣掉報社
42
00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:48,399
(還在負債、還沒升遷
還沒沖澡、還沒成功)
43
00:01:48,399 --> 00:01:50,276
(還沒有對象、還沒有長大
還不確定、還不滿意)
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00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:51,194
{\an8}(還不成熟)
45
00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:52,695
《老娘還沒死》
46
00:01:56,157 --> 00:01:57,659
妳叫完了沒?
47
00:01:57,659 --> 00:01:59,077
等等,是我在叫嗎?
48
00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:00,745
- 我以為是妳
- 她叫完了沒?
49
00:02:00,745 --> 00:02:03,289
{\an8}結束了,等等,你什麼意思?
50
00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:06,543
{\an8}他要賣給誰?另一個老闆還是集團?
51
00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:09,212
{\an8}我不知道,有一群身穿西裝的人在報社
52
00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:11,005
{\an8}他們簽了文件,還握了手
53
00:02:11,005 --> 00:02:12,715
{\an8}有人還抱怨報紙的銷量
54
00:02:12,715 --> 00:02:14,926
{\an8}萊克希,妳得跟妳爸談談
55
00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:16,427
{\an8}妳要阻止他
56
00:02:16,427 --> 00:02:19,097
{\an8}當然,我叫我的律師聯絡我父親的律師
57
00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:20,348
{\an8}我們就是這樣規劃聖誕節的
58
00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:23,852
{\an8}不,妳必須親自跟他談,他是妳爸
59
00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:25,937
{\an8}妳得告訴他
「聽著,我不希望你這麼做
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00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:29,482
{\an8}我不希望你賣掉報社」
這很重要,這威脅到我的派餅
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00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:30,859
{\an8}妳有不餓的時候嗎?
62
00:02:31,901 --> 00:02:34,320
{\an8}不重要,穿上妳最殺的正式西裝
63
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,698
{\an8}細條紋、厚墊肩
64
00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:38,449
{\an8}很像黑幫大姐頭的那件
65
00:02:38,449 --> 00:02:43,204
{\an8}我只會穿那件去庭外取證
或我敵人的喪禮,但交給我吧
66
00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:45,748
{\an8}好耶,不會有事的,一切都會很順利
67
00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:47,542
{\an8}我們只需要保持冷靜
68
00:02:48,042 --> 00:02:50,503
{\an8}我們要怎麼保持冷靜?我們都會失業
69
00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:51,880
{\an8}好啦,這不一定
70
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,966
{\an8}沒錯,我舊金山朋友的報社也被收購
71
00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:58,928
{\an8}結果報社收入提升,工作機會變多
大家都更開心
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00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:00,096
{\an8}- 看到沒?
- 對
73
00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:03,641
{\an8}好,不,不行,我有小孩
74
00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:07,312
{\an8}聽著,事情還沒發生
也許不會發生,好嗎?
75
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:09,898
{\an8}萊克希會和鄧肯談,叫他不要賣報社
76
00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:12,150
{\an8}萊克希應該快回來了
77
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:15,153
{\an8}這樣很好,因為萊克希無所不能
78
00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:17,113
{\an8}她還請教宗來參加她的婚禮
79
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,449
{\an8}- 他送她烤吐司機
- 真小氣
80
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:20,992
對
81
00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:24,746
抱歉轉場很生硬,但這個禮物送妳
82
00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:27,207
- 祝妳生日快樂
- 祝妳生日快樂
83
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,875
祝我生日快樂
84
00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:31,628
我們的和聲好爛
85
00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:34,464
- 確實,下次再努力
- 對,我們應該排練幾次
86
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:37,091
一如往常,刮刮樂和保險套
87
00:03:37,091 --> 00:03:38,176
- 對
- 對
88
00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:40,345
我們下班後去葵克莉的店好好狂歡
89
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:43,056
- 只不過妳不能喝酒
- 今年生日不喝
90
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,058
聽了還是不習慣
91
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:49,479
兩位,狂歡之前,我們還要印報紙
92
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:52,732
奈兒,我把下一個訃聞寄給妳
93
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,317
唐娜希爾
94
00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:56,361
她以前是這間報社的主編
95
00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,737
她好精力充沛
96
00:03:57,737 --> 00:04:00,406
能等一天再處理唐娜嗎?今天很混亂
97
00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:02,033
- 而且今天是我的生日
- 寄出囉
98
00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:05,245
我的生日是柏林圍牆倒下的那一天
99
00:04:05,828 --> 00:04:08,748
我灌了小麥啤酒,然後繼續寫作
100
00:04:10,458 --> 00:04:11,876
什麼?
101
00:04:13,711 --> 00:04:14,796
你好,父親
102
00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:17,632
妳穿了可愛的正式西裝
103
00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:19,175
就和黛安索耶一樣
104
00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:21,886
歐勒夫,我穿索耶的高墊肩外套
看起來如何?
105
00:04:21,886 --> 00:04:24,180
我聽說你要賣掉報社
106
00:04:24,847 --> 00:04:25,974
很棒吧?
107
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:29,143
我本來很擔心
我們要跟著這艘沉船一起毀滅
108
00:04:29,143 --> 00:04:32,647
但我想方設法、排除萬難
109
00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:34,732
成功找到脫身之道
110
00:04:34,732 --> 00:04:36,859
歐勒夫,幫我把褲管改鬆一點,好嗎?
111
00:04:36,859 --> 00:04:39,237
讓下面透個氣
112
00:04:40,196 --> 00:04:43,074
只是這一切發生得好快
113
00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:45,285
打鐵就是要趁熱
114
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,411
我不確定...
115
00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:48,162
聽著,我不希望妳擔心,好嗎?
116
00:04:48,162 --> 00:04:50,873
我讓妳經營報社,以免妳閒著沒事做
117
00:04:50,873 --> 00:04:52,792
但我一定會照顧好妳
118
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,919
妳不會有事,別客氣
119
00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:58,965
謝謝
120
00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:03,177
好,歐勒夫
我是來改衣服的,不是要結紮
121
00:05:03,177 --> 00:05:05,346
我一開始是報童
122
00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:09,642
沒錯,就是「報童」
當時沒有「送報女童」
123
00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:13,688
我把頭髮塞進帽子
在褲襠塞捲起來的襪子
124
00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:15,231
我自稱是唐尼
125
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:16,983
妳有記下來嗎?
126
00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:19,610
抱歉,唐娜,今天我狀態不好
127
00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:22,697
我剛發現他們要賣掉報社
128
00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:24,532
什麼?
129
00:05:24,532 --> 00:05:26,284
拜託
130
00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:28,953
這是一個備受尊崇的機構
131
00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:31,247
我在這裡工作了幾十年
132
00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:33,166
從卡特政府到歐巴馬政府
133
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:36,502
從IBM打字機到網路色情片
134
00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:40,715
妳知道我職涯中穿過幾雙絲襪嗎?
135
00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:41,841
很多雙?
136
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:43,760
先別急著難過,也許不會成真
137
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,304
那些貪婪的企業禿鷲一定會買
138
00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:48,306
他們想要掌控印刷新聞業
139
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:52,685
用不道德的手段牟利,啃食民主的屍身
140
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:55,855
妳不能坐視不管
141
00:05:56,939 --> 00:05:59,734
好,牛棚裡的子民們
142
00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:01,569
大家靠過來,好嗎?
143
00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:07,200
我想針對辦公室甚囂塵上的謠言說明一下
144
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,743
發生什麼事了?萊克希在哪?
145
00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:11,871
我們確實要賣掉報社
146
00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:15,708
但請各位放心,你們的工作很安全
147
00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:18,336
- 謝天謝地
- 又或許不安全
148
00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:20,671
我又沒有水晶球,對吧?
149
00:06:20,671 --> 00:06:23,299
但這位男士知道
150
00:06:23,299 --> 00:06:25,968
他是昆汀奈爾森
151
00:06:25,968 --> 00:06:29,138
他是企業工作效率專員
152
00:06:29,138 --> 00:06:35,395
他代表要買下所有報社員工的公司
153
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,897
那...祝大家玩得開心囉
154
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:45,071
萊克希本該阻止這一切
155
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:47,407
好,先別慌張,她說不定有計畫
156
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:48,574
我要去找她
157
00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:49,909
我們不能坐視不管
158
00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:53,329
看著企業禿鷲啃食民主的屍身
159
00:06:54,997 --> 00:06:58,501
禿鷲其實是生態系的要角
而且牠聽力很好
160
00:06:58,501 --> 00:06:59,836
- 好
- 就跟我一樣
161
00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:03,005
不要當著禿鷲的面說他們是禿鷲
162
00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:05,133
禿鷲最恨這樣了
163
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:08,010
(布魯克摩公寓)
164
00:07:09,178 --> 00:07:10,596
小姐,妳在這裡幹嘛?
165
00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:13,558
現在有個企業死神在報社
166
00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:14,809
準備裁員
167
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:17,603
我有聽說,所以我有所準備
168
00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:18,896
好,太棒了
169
00:07:18,896 --> 00:07:20,690
妳害我擔心了一下
170
00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:22,984
我早該知道妳有解救大家的計畫
171
00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:25,736
一切已準備就緒
172
00:07:25,736 --> 00:07:26,821
該死
173
00:07:27,321 --> 00:07:28,322
我們就需要這個
174
00:07:28,322 --> 00:07:32,160
召集一群女人,事情就會有轉機
175
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,244
(嗷嗚喵喵)
176
00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:34,704
那就是「嗷嗚喵喵」
177
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:37,999
這是和寵物一起玩的桌遊
只限狗和貓,鳥類不行
178
00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:40,001
也許我們還是需要男人
179
00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:41,252
開玩笑的啦
180
00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:43,254
但這個女人沒救了
181
00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:44,839
{\an8}妳一整個早上都在忙這個嗎?
182
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:47,467
- 對
- 對,非常有創意
183
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,552
妳的手作看板很令人驚豔,寶貝
184
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:51,304
謝謝
185
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:53,222
我能怎麼樣?
186
00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:57,727
好,她沒救了
187
00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:01,814
丹尼斯,丹尼斯
188
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:04,233
我在茶水間遇到那個昆汀
189
00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:06,360
我說了你的工作能力很好
190
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,280
他不苟言笑
但我應該讓他對你留下了好印象
191
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:11,991
- 小珊,妳真貼心
- 不,重點不是貼心,丹尼斯
192
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,493
重點是要拯救你的工作
193
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,495
現在換你進去,也幫我說話
194
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,872
快進去告訴他我多棒,小三八
195
00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:19,123
- 快上,快點
- 好
196
00:08:20,249 --> 00:08:22,418
嗨,你好,我們還沒打過招呼
197
00:08:22,418 --> 00:08:25,296
我是丹尼斯辛伯瓊斯
那個...地方新聞主編
198
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:28,174
- 是,辛伯瓊斯先生
- 對
199
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:30,968
我剛要在你的檔案裡
加註霍克小姐對你的評論
200
00:08:30,968 --> 00:08:35,014
太棒了,珊姆是相當出色的主編
201
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:38,601
要說誰掌握了時尚的脈動,那就是她
202
00:08:41,729 --> 00:08:43,356
坐下
203
00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:49,278
另外,她也不會隨意透露工作上的事
204
00:08:49,278 --> 00:08:51,906
儘管她剛離婚,還要照顧兩個孩子
205
00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:52,990
感覺很辛苦
206
00:08:52,990 --> 00:08:57,203
生活給她重重的打擊,她總是奮力回擊
207
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,329
就像大力水手
208
00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:00,122
不過她不吃菠菜
209
00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:01,832
我應該沒看過她吃菠菜
210
00:09:01,832 --> 00:09:03,626
但我知道她喝葡萄酒
211
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:06,587
你在暗示她有酗酒問題嗎?
212
00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:09,298
當然,她需要喝點酒、放鬆心情嗎?
213
00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:10,633
對,但誰不需要呢?
214
00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:11,884
- 我就不需要
- 我也是
215
00:09:12,468 --> 00:09:15,263
我滴酒不沾,所以我睡得很好
216
00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:17,390
但珊姆沒有,因為她好像會失眠
217
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:18,641
老實說,我要...
218
00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:21,519
天啊,丹尼斯,順便帶個麵包走
219
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:28,609
奈兒,如果雷射筆瞄得很準
220
00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:30,444
能否讓貓咪拿起撲克牌?
221
00:09:30,444 --> 00:09:32,863
對,當然
貓咪會去撲克牌那裡,但又如何?
222
00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:34,490
再說,這好荒謬
223
00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:37,577
萊克希,妳爸怎麼了?妳有跟他談過嗎?
224
00:09:39,787 --> 00:09:42,582
我八歲時非常想養狗
225
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:45,585
但想當然,我父親告訴我
狗不適合養在室內
226
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,752
牠們是用來獵鴨
227
00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:48,629
還有送白蘭地給雪崩倖存者的
228
00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:50,381
他買了一匹馬給我
229
00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:52,508
因為馬至少能送我進奧運
230
00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:55,845
是這樣,我父親很擅長奪走我的夢想
231
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:59,223
再換成我也想要的其他事物
232
00:09:59,223 --> 00:10:00,725
所以妳沒有跟他談?
233
00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:03,394
奈兒,沒關係,我不會有事的
234
00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:05,104
我有很多存款
235
00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:07,648
還有很合理的「嗷嗚喵喵」原型
236
00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:11,152
我懂了,重點是妳能全身而退
237
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:12,236
沒錯
238
00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:16,532
就和貓一樣
也就是「嗷嗚喵喵」的主要客群
239
00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:20,661
她絕對管不住禿鷲
240
00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:27,293
妳該拿出大人的氣勢,拯救自己的工作
241
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:29,670
能給我一點牛奶嗎,奈兒?
242
00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:32,006
真可愛
243
00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:33,090
(葵克莉輕鬆小酌)
244
00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:36,677
妳一開始要我到妳姪女的商業課程上演講
讓我受寵若驚
245
00:10:36,677 --> 00:10:40,723
但衛星導航帶我來到葡萄酒吧
讓我起了疑心
246
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:44,018
我早該相信直覺
247
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:47,355
我只是擔心,如果我說了今天是我的生日
248
00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:48,439
你就不會來
249
00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:50,983
少了派對人物昆汀,真的很可惜
250
00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:52,693
除非那是分析派對
251
00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:55,696
對了,什麼派對都比不上分析派對
252
00:10:55,696 --> 00:10:57,698
- 我想也是
- 我知道妳的意圖
253
00:10:57,698 --> 00:10:58,908
妳想要拍我馬屁
254
00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:01,619
馬屁?什麼?沒有
255
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,580
我幫你點杯酒,昆哥,葵克莉
256
00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:07,833
取綽號給我不正式的感覺
讓我渾身不自在
257
00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:10,461
「昆哥」,「昆哥」
258
00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:12,838
妳好,壽星
259
00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:16,634
聽著,我要妳忘掉愚蠢的工作鳥事
260
00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:18,886
叫那個企業走狗去吃...
261
00:11:18,886 --> 00:11:21,347
葵克莉,葵克莉,這位是昆汀
262
00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:25,101
他負責決定哪個報社員工能保住工作
263
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:26,894
- 很厲害吧?
- 對
264
00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:29,605
其實我的職稱是企業工作效率專員
265
00:11:29,605 --> 00:11:31,023
但我不喜歡自誇
266
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,526
沒有啦,但你知道我聽說什麼嗎?
267
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,069
這是給你的
268
00:11:36,987 --> 00:11:39,323
工作時不該喝酒
269
00:11:39,323 --> 00:11:41,033
算你走運,今天是我生日
270
00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:43,244
喝吧,昆哥
271
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:44,537
昆哥
272
00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:48,791
我幫你拿更多葡萄酒過來
273
00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:52,002
別擔心,我會和昆汀談談,解決問題
274
00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:53,504
最好是
275
00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:54,755
我需要喝一杯
276
00:11:55,589 --> 00:11:58,968
妳先別喝酒吧,他覺得妳是酒鬼
277
00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:01,220
- 你只跟他講了三十秒的話
- 就是說啊
278
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:06,100
天啊,他在幹嘛?
279
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,853
他在摸頭髮,還聞自己的手
280
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:09,937
那是什麼意思?
281
00:12:10,604 --> 00:12:12,356
不知道,也許在聊妳的頭髮
282
00:12:12,356 --> 00:12:13,607
聞起來有椰子味?
283
00:12:13,607 --> 00:12:17,153
我是不是很攻於心計?
因為妳的問題都解決了
284
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:18,487
- 真的嗎?
- 對
285
00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:20,865
只不過妳應該要知道
286
00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:22,575
一些關於妳的瑣碎細節
287
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:25,202
妳捐過一個腎臟,從火場救出桃莉巴頓
288
00:12:25,202 --> 00:12:27,538
- 還在《倖存者》中獲勝
- 哪一季?
289
00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:29,457
- 第16季?
- 我討厭第16季
290
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:34,920
好耶,給我的新朋友和工作上的兄弟
291
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,714
- 這是賄賂嗎?
- 不是
292
00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:39,759
這只是一系列最貴的葡萄酒
293
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:43,179
之後還會有更多喝的
因為我偷了我爸的運通卡
294
00:12:43,804 --> 00:12:44,805
你來了
295
00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:47,099
- 沒錯,生日快樂
- 謝謝
296
00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:48,601
這應該不是妳想要的派對
297
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,561
我沒想到我的座上賓
298
00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:54,523
是要開除大家的人,但還行啦
299
00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:57,860
我要拿這一大杯卡本內過去
300
00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:59,445
對昆汀講講自己的好話
301
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:02,198
我確保自己安全後,就會對你揮個手
你再來展開攻勢
302
00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:04,366
好,但我也要說今天是我的生日
303
00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:05,618
真狡猾
304
00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:09,497
他們說根據法律,我只能養三隻貓
305
00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:11,707
梅森,你父親來了,看起來怒氣沖沖
306
00:13:11,707 --> 00:13:13,000
可惡
307
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,627
我死定了
308
00:13:16,086 --> 00:13:17,171
- 嗨
- 嗨
309
00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:20,257
那個討人喜愛的媽寶對我很好
310
00:13:20,257 --> 00:13:23,052
他送我四杯酒,我很快就喝完了
311
00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:26,263
好,那個長得像安娜貝爾的傢伙
幫了妳一個大忙
312
00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:28,766
但這位老兄太兢兢業業
313
00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:31,560
妳必須猛烈攻擊,好好推銷自己
314
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:34,897
聽我說,我就老實說吧
315
00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:39,151
你要來評估大家的工作
而我要說明為什麼報社需要我
316
00:13:39,151 --> 00:13:40,778
對,說吧
317
00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:45,950
我是個堅強的女性記者
為讀者帶來重要的報導
318
00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:47,117
沒錯,用力強調
319
00:13:47,117 --> 00:13:50,830
- 名人和尋常人家的故事
- 好,他沒興趣了
320
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,665
妳最好扭轉局勢,逆轉局勢
321
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:55,835
我一開始是報童,沒錯,你沒聽錯,報童
322
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,921
我把襪子塞進褲襠,褲子塞進鞋子
自稱是邦尼
323
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:00,548
好,妳搞砸了
324
00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:02,216
我懂妳的意思,朋友
325
00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:04,552
但根據今天的評估和報社銷量
326
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:07,429
昆哥不得不建議公司打掉重練這裡
327
00:14:07,429 --> 00:14:09,598
- 打掉重練?
- 不...不
328
00:14:09,598 --> 00:14:11,600
他們會把報社的資產逐一出售
329
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:12,893
打掉...
330
00:14:12,893 --> 00:14:14,019
重練
331
00:14:15,062 --> 00:14:17,815
這樣很冷血嗎?還是我做的效果很好?
332
00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:20,401
我不常喝酒,糟糕,膀胱好脹
333
00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:22,319
我得走了,我要倒車過去
334
00:14:27,783 --> 00:14:29,743
去追他,追進廁所裡
335
00:14:29,743 --> 00:14:32,121
我才不要看男人尿尿
336
00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:34,248
妳不能就這麼算了
337
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:36,292
這個世界需要記者
338
00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:39,420
我們是真理,我們會為黑暗帶來光明
339
00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:42,798
- 聽著,我盡力...
- 我們是自由社會的守護者
340
00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:44,425
我盡力了,但是...
341
00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:47,428
好喔,妳應該戴上耳機,因為妳很像瘋子
342
00:14:47,428 --> 00:14:49,805
我不是一直都像瘋子嗎?我只是...
343
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:51,473
找不到耳機嗎?
344
00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:53,559
不是,我不知道妳今晚要來
345
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:55,728
狂歡囉
346
00:14:58,397 --> 00:15:01,191
如果記者要說出真相
那我的現況就是我要失業了
347
00:15:01,191 --> 00:15:02,902
我和那個完美男人分手
348
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,237
只因為我想凍卵,現在我還無法負擔費用
349
00:15:05,237 --> 00:15:06,363
妳知道嗎?
350
00:15:06,363 --> 00:15:11,118
我不想再跟妳講話,因為我要滿39歲了
351
00:15:11,118 --> 00:15:13,412
在我的自由社會裡
我可以在自己的生日喝個爛醉
352
00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:17,875
對,那天很讚
353
00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:19,084
謝謝
354
00:15:20,544 --> 00:15:22,671
嗨,好朋友,我以為妳不喝酒
355
00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:24,256
- 還好嗎?
- 你知道嗎?
356
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:26,467
- 我不想談
- 我也不想聽
357
00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:28,427
- 我喜歡你的態度
- 我也喜歡妳的態度
358
00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:30,429
- 要灌酒嗎?
- 今天是我生日
359
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:31,805
- 來兩杯酒
- 來兩杯酒
360
00:15:31,805 --> 00:15:33,015
你會倒霉
361
00:15:41,398 --> 00:15:42,650
來吧
362
00:15:45,152 --> 00:15:46,737
- 不
- 不
363
00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:49,740
- 不
- 好耶
364
00:16:05,547 --> 00:16:06,674
慘了
365
00:16:14,598 --> 00:16:16,976
- 早安
- 你好
366
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,310
很抱歉這麼問
367
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:21,647
但在我有力氣移動四肢前
368
00:16:22,189 --> 00:16:23,899
昨晚到底發生什麼事了?
369
00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:55,180
那是愛黛兒嗎?
370
00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:00,269
這是我的派餅圖
371
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:01,979
- 派
- 對
372
00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:03,856
歐普拉想出人生目標派餅圖的點子
373
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:06,233
抱歉,那不是問句,是直述句,我想吃派
374
00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:08,485
- 我們應該吃派
- 好
375
00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:11,447
職場上的每個人都討厭我
376
00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:13,699
就連妳都叫我企業禿鷲
377
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:15,367
禿鷲也很好啊
378
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:16,952
牠們善用整個屍體,你知道嗎?
379
00:17:16,952 --> 00:17:20,622
這份爛工作讓我過去兩年都住在飯店
380
00:17:20,622 --> 00:17:23,584
我甚至忘了正常瓶裝洗髮精的大小
381
00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:25,377
你需要用洗髮精嗎?
382
00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:29,089
我今晚可以穿著衣服睡妳旁邊
妳再抱抱我嗎?
383
00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:32,426
我今晚不想回到高速公路旁的逸林飯店
384
00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:40,642
如果我們沒有上床
為什麼我還是覺得很噁心?
385
00:17:41,351 --> 00:17:42,770
床上還有派
386
00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:46,857
- 我該走了
- 很好
387
00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:54,782
我叫妳去追他
388
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:56,992
沒想到妳竟然追到床上
389
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:02,039
我沒有跟他上床
只是睡在他孤單寂寞的靈魂旁邊
390
00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:08,087
身為編輯,我的工作就是鞭策作家
要他們寫出最棒的作品
391
00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:11,423
但當作家懷疑自己的能力時
392
00:18:12,049 --> 00:18:14,259
我就要激勵他們
393
00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:15,803
好,我想被激勵
394
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:19,556
奈兒,妳準備好寫訃聞時
395
00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:23,018
妳會看著死者人生的片段
396
00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:24,520
還是綜觀全貌?
397
00:18:25,562 --> 00:18:27,439
- 後者
- 沒錯
398
00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:30,567
記者的工作就是述說事情的全貌
399
00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:33,654
如果要我寫妳的訃聞,我會寫
400
00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:38,158
「沒錯,奈兒賽拉諾一生處處碰壁
401
00:18:38,158 --> 00:18:41,245
她的職涯受阻、桃花不開」
402
00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:42,871
我不喜歡妳的寫作風格
403
00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:48,669
「但她很堅強,她會正面迎擊挑戰
不斷往前邁進」
404
00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:52,673
可不是所有人都有這種特質
405
00:18:57,511 --> 00:19:00,013
嗨,還在製作「嗷嗚喵喵」嗎?
406
00:19:00,013 --> 00:19:01,098
我遇到瓶頸了
407
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:02,975
原來狗不會擲骰子
408
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,268
牠們可以轉轉盤嗎?
409
00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:07,146
- 妳六小時前在哪?
- 妳不會想知道的
410
00:19:09,189 --> 00:19:11,275
萊克希,我想跟妳道歉
411
00:19:12,192 --> 00:19:14,486
我不該在妳還沒準備好前
就逼妳去和妳爸對質
412
00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:16,238
不,我才該道歉
413
00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:17,990
我讓大家失望了
414
00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:22,244
真的很可惜,因為我越來越喜歡
415
00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:24,079
也真心在乎報社的每個人
416
00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:27,916
就連愛吃溫沙拉的蒂娜和姿勢不良的妳
417
00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:30,043
聽著,如果妳下個月
418
00:19:30,043 --> 00:19:34,256
想要待在這裡籌備「嗷嗚喵喵」
我會陪妳
419
00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:35,465
但我...
420
00:19:36,508 --> 00:19:39,928
不知道耶
妳應該還有一些有待處理的情緒
421
00:19:39,928 --> 00:19:43,056
妳應該和妳爸談談
422
00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:45,475
我們不處理情緒的,好嗎?
423
00:19:45,475 --> 00:19:48,395
在我們家,那是柔弱的象徵
424
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,814
妳是我認識過最堅強的人
425
00:19:50,814 --> 00:19:52,482
老實說,妳超嚇人的
426
00:19:52,482 --> 00:19:54,234
奈兒,妳只是看我難過才安慰我
427
00:19:54,234 --> 00:19:55,819
沒有,我超怕妳的
428
00:19:55,819 --> 00:19:57,070
- 真的嗎?
- 對
429
00:19:58,238 --> 00:20:00,199
重點不是我或工作
430
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:02,784
妳有話想對妳爸說,就該說出來
431
00:20:02,784 --> 00:20:03,911
他也應該聽
432
00:20:04,494 --> 00:20:05,704
這是妳應得的
433
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:10,334
謝謝妳,奈兒
434
00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:12,544
還有一件事
435
00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:14,463
妳接下來幾天要仔細監控
436
00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:16,381
亞瑟的腸胃蠕動情況
437
00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:19,051
我懷疑牠吃下了好幾個骰子
438
00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:21,553
其實是非常確定
439
00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:25,849
亞瑟?
440
00:20:32,981 --> 00:20:34,858
冰箱裡有好吃的零食嗎?
441
00:20:34,858 --> 00:20:40,072
有那種可以加入水果的
小小茅屋乳酪杯嗎?
442
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:41,281
我超愛那個
443
00:20:42,282 --> 00:20:44,326
- 你怎麼會來茶水間?
- 我不知道
444
00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:47,162
我想說要來看這裡最後一眼
445
00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:50,666
- 萊克希和你談過了嗎?
- 沒有,我沒看到她
446
00:20:52,292 --> 00:20:55,170
羅德斯先生,我真的很敬佩你
447
00:20:55,170 --> 00:20:58,340
你把報社賣掉,讓大家有可能失業
448
00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:00,008
但你卻完全不擔憂
449
00:21:00,008 --> 00:21:03,887
老實說,我不知道你要如何自處
450
00:21:03,887 --> 00:21:06,765
我從商後學到了一件事,奈兒
451
00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:10,477
那就是天下無不散的筵席
452
00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:13,146
難免的事
453
00:21:13,730 --> 00:21:14,606
奈兒,妳聽說了嗎?
454
00:21:15,899 --> 00:21:18,193
羅德斯先生昏倒了,他被緊急送醫
455
00:21:22,906 --> 00:21:27,244
我想我來不及吃茅屋乳酪杯了
456
00:21:32,374 --> 00:21:34,084
我自己也很懷疑
457
00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:35,961
雖然我們不想待在這裡
458
00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:39,756
但萊克希要我們測試遊戲
我們繼續努力吧
459
00:21:40,674 --> 00:21:42,175
好,凱文,換你了
460
00:21:43,260 --> 00:21:45,304
波蒂,你非得現在理毛嗎?
461
00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:47,180
你有看到我玩遊戲時洗澡嗎?
462
00:21:47,180 --> 00:21:48,348
凱文,換你了,兄弟
463
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,517
我來吧
464
00:21:51,268 --> 00:21:52,102
走五步
465
00:21:52,102 --> 00:21:53,020
(喵)
466
00:21:53,020 --> 00:21:56,648
一嗷嗚、二嗷嗚
三嗷嗚、四嗷嗚、五嗷嗚
467
00:21:56,648 --> 00:22:00,068
{\an8}消防栓巷,代表你要抽一張卡,我來抽
468
00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:03,155
{\an8}上面寫說:「誰是乖狗狗?」
469
00:22:03,655 --> 00:22:07,034
{\an8}我應該給你五顆狗糧
470
00:22:07,034 --> 00:22:10,454
{\an8}一、二、三、四、五
471
00:22:10,454 --> 00:22:12,122
{\an8}來吧,兄弟,不行,那是凱文的
472
00:22:12,122 --> 00:22:14,541
{\an8}真是「吠」到哭
473
00:22:15,584 --> 00:22:17,919
{\an8}拜託,波蒂,不要這樣
474
00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:21,631
{\an8}亞瑟,你不玩這局是對的
475
00:22:24,634 --> 00:22:26,636
字幕翻譯:劉晏汝