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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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‪印第安納波利斯的觀眾大家好

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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‪（沃克劇院）

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‪麥克伊皮斯
‪一定要回來印第安納波利斯

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‪他要代表這個城市並讓人知道這裡

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‪站起來

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‪大家鼓掌歡迎

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‪麥克伊皮斯

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‪市區的朋友大家好

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‪好耶

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‪郵遞區號317

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‪性感美女們在哪裡？

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‪誰沒穿內褲？

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‪我聞到火雞培根的味道

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‪對

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‪我問誰沒穿內褲時
‪那邊有幾個男的也大叫了

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‪你們的牛仔褲底下最好有穿

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‪午睡鎮的朋友大家好

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‪對

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‪我們今晚來到大道，各位

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‪我們來到大道

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‪對，沃克夫人的大樓

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‪對，我們來到大道

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‪每個人的媽媽都在這條街上被騙過

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‪就是這條大道

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‪沒錯，我們在他媽的午睡鎮

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‪對，閉嘴，該死

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‪對，大家的媽媽都被騙了

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‪我爸媽就在
‪名為玩樂處夜店的街上認識

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‪你們太年輕了

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‪大道的玩樂處就是在搞這些

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‪這裡沒人得新冠肺炎吧？該死

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‪我被盯上了

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‪偽造新冠肺炎疫苗卡的小混蛋

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‪沒錯，新冠肺炎是狗屎

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‪他們說得打針，我不知道該怎麼辦

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‪那實在…人家想拿這狗屁嚇你

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‪“去打吧，我有藥了”

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‪我去打了
‪我說：“管他的”，我去打了

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‪對，我去打了

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‪有人說要下架我在網飛的秀時

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‪我說：“你們要打哪裡？快打”

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‪我說：“打我的屁股吧”

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‪我以為我得過，真的，我以為我得過

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‪我去看醫生
‪他說：“我不是這麼說的”

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‪我說：“你怎麼說？”

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‪他說：“我說你在19日
‪驗古柯鹼呈陽性”

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‪我說
‪“我沒仔細聽你說，我只聽到19”

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‪黑人才不想打針

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‪想讓黑人打針
‪最好的方法就是加口味

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‪“那傢伙打了鳳梨莫德納”

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‪“該死”

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‪“那是西瓜輝瑞”

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‪“朋友，沒錯，我要打第九劑了”

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‪“下個月會推出芒果口味”

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‪霍格塞特市長親臨現場
‪為市長掌聲鼓勵

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‪霍格塞特市長

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‪我和他今天整天都在喝酒

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‪這就是我欣賞他的地方，他才不在乎

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‪他在廣告上爆醉

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‪“再喝一杯再去應付這些白痴”

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‪霍格塞特市長，各位，給他掌聲鼓勵

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‪現場來了很多優秀的人

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‪安德烈卡森，各位

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‪安德烈卡森

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‪自家人

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‪大家聽到了

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‪沒錯

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‪我們在印第安納州就是這樣

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‪沒錯

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‪現場來了很多優秀的人

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‪我們有鄰里媽媽佩梅瑞小姐

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‪為佩梅瑞小姐掌聲鼓勵

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‪她在鄰里幫忙一堆黑人出獄

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‪如果你被帶上警車，這位黑人女性

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‪會過來說：“他犯什麼罪了？”

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‪“不要騷擾他”

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‪“你最好別傷害他，王八蛋”

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‪“我們會去救你的，寶貝”

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‪他坐在後座說
‪“告訴我媽我愛她，佩梅瑞小姐”

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‪印第安納州
‪是黑人男性來找白人妹子的地方

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‪黑人男性會來印第安納州把白人妹子

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‪布朗斯堡有個哥們帶著白人妹子說
‪“我把到白人妹子”

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‪“我現在在布朗斯堡”

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‪“我和我的白人妹子找了個拖車公園”

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‪這哥們叫杜恩

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‪所有帶白人妹子來的黑人兄弟
‪兩個月前就買好票了

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‪白人妹子不浪費時間的
‪“我們會享受你的表演”

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‪“你會很開心，我們會替你們買票”

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‪“我們會打給你們的朋友”

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‪黑人女性會買票，而且不會說出來

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‪然後在家裡凌虐你

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‪“你還想去看那場秀吧？”

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‪“嘴巴最好放乾淨點”

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‪“你別想去”

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‪“把車庫打掃乾淨吧”

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‪如果你得了新冠肺炎
‪你可以舔陌生人

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‪因為你會喪失嗅覺與味覺

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‪如果女人的鮑魚發臭
‪表示孩子會惡劣嗎？

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‪他們確實來自惡劣的環境

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‪兄弟們
‪千萬別約不尊重你老婆的女人

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‪我說錯了，我不是有意的

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‪對，大家很團結，賤人

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‪小姐們，妳可曾看著妳的男人說
‪“誰都可以上我？”

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‪胖純素者在哪裡？
‪今晚有胖純素者在場嗎？

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‪他們是胡謅的混蛋

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‪他媽的胖純素者

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‪“我不吃那個”

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‪“我不…”

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‪“你看了內容物嗎？我不吃那個”

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‪你有在吃東西，王八蛋

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‪我有個表妹體重317公斤

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‪她哭著打給我，我說：“怎麼了？”

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‪“這裡有人會抓走女人”

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‪我說：“妳在擔心什麼？”

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‪又不會抓妳

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‪妳用堆高機運走還差不多

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‪總之
‪她不斷在女人被抓走的街上徘徊

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‪她在街上慢跑、探看車內，想被抓走

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‪她往車裡探看

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‪她跑過公園、對著車子揮手

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‪因為大家知道大隻女跑得很慢

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‪綁走女人的廂型車

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‪那天晚上從她身旁開過五次

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‪我跟她說：“那代表什麼？”

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‪“他們沒看到我”

128
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‪我說：“他們怎麼會沒看到妳？
‪他們看到妳了”

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‪怎麼會有人看不到角落這一大圈？

130
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‪一個大燕麥圈站在角落，卻沒人看到

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‪總之，她被抓走了

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‪我想他們在上週四抓走她之類的

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‪對，他們抓走她了

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‪我去跟刑警聊過

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00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:24,206
‪他說：“伊皮斯先生，她上車了”

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‪對，她上車了

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‪他們一停下車，她就上去了

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‪現場有很多年輕妹配老頭

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‪散落在現場

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‪我會看到你的退休金卡發亮了

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‪你看到像瑞奇先生的老頭
‪那樣走路的時候

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‪他厭倦妳把他藏起來了

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‪妳帶他去參加活動？

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‪去一個場合

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‪“妳別再把我藏起來了
‪該死，我準備好曝光了”

146
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‪然後她走在前面
‪“來吧，瑞奇先生，快點”

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‪瑞奇先生說：“大家都知道
‪我們在一起，妳少來”

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‪瑞奇先生不爽、而她說錯話時

149
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‪他轉身說：“賤人，我告訴妳”

150
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‪他轉一圈說…

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‪“告訴妳，妳這輩子休想”

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‪沒錯

153
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‪我喜歡印第安納，因為大家都打籃球

154
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‪每個人都會打一點球

155
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‪一點點

156
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:17,361
‪現場有印第安納溜馬隊球員
‪替他們掌聲鼓勵

157
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‪溜馬隊

158
00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:25,119
‪對，溜馬隊球員是我的好兄弟

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‪對

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‪我嘗試過，印第安納州的人
‪都以為他們會當上職業選手

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‪最後是去了監獄

162
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‪大家應該看看他們在
‪印第安納州監獄打球的英姿

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‪天啊，這些兄弟真是夠狠

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‪對，沒錯

165
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‪我曾經甄試上球隊

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‪我曾經甄試上球隊

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‪等成績單出來後

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‪沒了

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‪教練說：“對啊”

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‪“你或許能打最後一場比賽

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‪我們快出戰曼紐爾了”

172
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‪對，我以前只知道投球，教練很火大

173
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‪大家排排站被他罵

174
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‪“我才不甩，給我回去防守”

175
00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:23,719
‪輪到我時，他說

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‪“你不是雷吉米勒”

177
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‪“去他的籃球，我不玩了”

178
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‪印第安納人都會打球

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‪但你看到內八、翹著屁股的黑人時

180
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‪他們很會灌籃

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‪內八、翹著屁股的黑人可以跳很高

182
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‪就是這樣，“把球丟上來”

183
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‪一個內八的黑人說：“把球往上丟”

184
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‪跳超高

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‪該死

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‪對，是真的

187
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‪我看到很多白人，我要告訴你們

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‪你們就快絕種了

189
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‪因為你們搞得不夠勤

190
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‪白人搞得不夠勤

191
00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:36,959
‪他們一家只有兩個孩子

192
00:14:38,335 --> 00:14:40,963
‪黑人很愛搞，我才不在乎

193
00:14:41,505 --> 00:14:44,425
‪讓我們去坐牢，我們就讓警衛懷孕

194
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‪“過來，屁股貼著欄杆”

195
00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:57,563
‪白人的腦子裡只有錢

196
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‪“我現在不能射在裡面，親愛的”

197
00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:04,987
‪“我得先把股票和債券弄好才能射”

198
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,285
‪黑人才不管

199
00:15:11,368 --> 00:15:12,912
‪我們領救濟金當窮人就好

200
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,876
‪“對，把可憐的寶寶帶到世界上吧”

201
00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:32,723
‪女人餵小孩吃大力水手炸雞

202
00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:34,892
‪她們的孩子都去美式足球聯盟了

203
00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:40,898
‪想讓小孩成為職業選手
‪就在懷孕時吃大力水手

204
00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:43,484
‪他會當職業選手

205
00:15:44,526 --> 00:15:48,238
‪美式足球聯盟球員的父母個子都很小

206
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:52,201
‪他們卻高大壯碩

207
00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:56,121
‪那些傢伙在媽媽的肚子裡時
‪都在吃大力水手炸雞

208
00:15:58,290 --> 00:15:59,249
‪大塊雞胸肉

209
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,878
‪雞翅、奶油餅乾

210
00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:07,675
‪對，很好吃

211
00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:12,137
‪對，我愛印第安納波利斯
‪這裡又讚又冷

212
00:16:13,555 --> 00:16:15,766
‪又讚又冷

213
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:19,144
‪這裡的人至少都進過一次監獄

214
00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:27,987
‪我從1992年起就聘請的律師有來

215
00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:31,532
‪你在哪裡，傑夫？
‪把手舉起來，傑夫鮑德溫

216
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,576
‪傑夫鮑德溫站起來

217
00:16:38,706 --> 00:16:41,625
‪你幫助很多黑人出獄，不重要

218
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:50,175
‪我當時面臨20到50年徒刑

219
00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:52,469
‪傑夫跟我說：“情況不妙，麥克”

220
00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:04,440
‪“情況不妙，麥克，我現在就告訴你”

221
00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:06,191
‪但這樣很好

222
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:08,610
‪有真律師能幫你，懂我的意思嗎？

223
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:11,655
‪不是那種來亂的公設辯護人

224
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:17,953
‪你在監獄，他們從沒進過監獄
‪結果一個年輕混蛋來了

225
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,830
‪“好，在這裡簽名”

226
00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:25,753
‪“來把事情解決吧
‪你想出去，對嗎？”

227
00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:30,841
‪對

228
00:17:30,924 --> 00:17:34,178
‪該死的馬里昂郡立監獄

229
00:17:34,928 --> 00:17:36,555
‪我看過麥克泰森一次

230
00:17:36,638 --> 00:17:39,141
‪我說：“麥克”
‪他說：“你是哪裡人？”

231
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:40,392
‪“印第安納波利斯人”

232
00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:42,352
‪他說：“該死”

233
00:17:49,526 --> 00:17:53,739
‪他說：“我完全不會想去”

234
00:17:58,452 --> 00:18:01,872
‪記得有一次
‪我交往了外地的女孩，她來到這裡

235
00:18:01,955 --> 00:18:04,041
‪我去買白色城堡的速食來吃

236
00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:07,294
‪她下飛機後說：“我餓了”

237
00:18:07,377 --> 00:18:10,756
‪“到印第安納波利斯吃東西
‪我愛午睡鎮”

238
00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:13,258
‪“我餓了，我們去吃點東西吧”

239
00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:14,968
‪我帶她去了白色城堡

240
00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:17,846
‪她吃起小漢堡

241
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:19,932
‪洋蔥圈

242
00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:26,188
‪我隔天早上打去，她在醫院

243
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:32,027
‪她在威爾夏，醫院的人在替她洗胃

244
00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:37,825
‪她說：“漢堡裡面到底放了什麼？”

245
00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:44,373
‪她說：“醫生說我昨晚差點沒命”

246
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:51,463
‪她說：“去死吧”

247
00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:55,217
‪對，那是真的

248
00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:58,554
‪我知道在疫情期間情況很可怕

249
00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:01,890
‪大家都關在家裡
‪你去個該死的雜貨店

250
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,851
‪大家都用異樣眼光看彼此

251
00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:07,521
‪“你沒中標吧？”

252
00:19:11,733 --> 00:19:15,696
‪我在雜貨店裡
‪找不到衛生紙，只有肥皂

253
00:19:17,614 --> 00:19:21,535
‪我說：“大家會擦屁股，但是不洗”

254
00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:25,914
‪外頭有屁股發臭的人

255
00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:31,628
‪太誇張了

256
00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:35,424
‪佛奇博士天天上電視嚇人

257
00:19:35,924 --> 00:19:37,301
‪“這是個問題”

258
00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:40,470
‪“我知道我們過兩個月就沒事了”

259
00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:42,890
‪大家說：“兩個月？”

260
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:47,728
‪從來沒被關過的人都快瘋了

261
00:19:48,478 --> 00:19:51,315
‪去過監獄的人都好好的

262
00:19:52,733 --> 00:19:54,443
‪“把我的麵拿出來”

263
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:59,698
‪“我的餅乾，大滿貫要來了，坐好”

264
00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:08,332
‪“切點牛肉乾
‪跟起司與蝦子和在一起”

265
00:20:08,832 --> 00:20:10,792
‪坐過牢的黑人都知道

266
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:14,129
‪他們知道監獄裡的小把戲

267
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:18,550
‪對，太誇張了
‪除了騙子，沒有人開心

268
00:20:19,843 --> 00:20:23,263
‪那些搞薪資保護貸款計畫的混蛋

269
00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:26,099
‪他們在IG跟臉書上是這副模樣

270
00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:31,480
‪看看這些偷拐搶騙的王八蛋

271
00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:35,734
‪有工作的人在祈禱

272
00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:37,653
‪“這件事也會過去的”

273
00:20:42,115 --> 00:20:42,950
‪對

274
00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:48,705
‪如果你能憑空偷錢，那就拿吧

275
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:54,628
‪去他們的，把之前沒能從你身上
‪撈走的錢都拿走吧，去死

276
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,838
‪把錢拿走吧

277
00:20:58,215 --> 00:21:01,343
‪只是別拿去買鞋子和皮帶什麼的

278
00:21:02,844 --> 00:21:04,554
‪買地…

279
00:21:05,138 --> 00:21:06,807
‪多買點房地產

280
00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:10,477
‪拿騙來的錢去買

281
00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:16,400
‪買幾間房子，因為你出來時得住

282
00:21:16,483 --> 00:21:19,444
‪你會被判刑、被關

283
00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:20,654
‪你會去坐牢

284
00:21:26,034 --> 00:21:29,162
‪太瞎了，騙錢之前得先弄好牙齒

285
00:21:30,580 --> 00:21:31,957
‪作奸犯科前

286
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,293
‪先顧好牙齒跟健康

287
00:21:35,002 --> 00:21:37,254
‪起碼蹲牢時能身體健康

288
00:21:40,048 --> 00:21:41,300
‪每次你買皮帶

289
00:21:41,383 --> 00:21:43,885
‪你沒處理的牙齒會在後面

290
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,138
‪搖頭說

291
00:21:46,221 --> 00:21:49,016
‪“看看這個混蛋又買皮帶了”

292
00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:54,187
‪“我的牙齒在後面臭兩年了”

293
00:21:54,271 --> 00:21:56,815
‪“結果你又要買皮帶？”

294
00:22:11,872 --> 00:22:13,081
‪我決定去販毒

295
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:16,293
‪我是你這輩子見過最糟的毒販

296
00:22:16,793 --> 00:22:17,711
‪對

297
00:22:17,794 --> 00:22:20,380
‪想販毒是要有手段的

298
00:22:21,631 --> 00:22:22,591
‪我只知道…

299
00:22:22,674 --> 00:22:25,218
‪我會湊近車子，做出這種手勢

300
00:22:25,969 --> 00:22:28,221
‪那些混蛋撞我的手就開走了

301
00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:31,850
‪那是第一個徵兆，去找工作

302
00:22:36,855 --> 00:22:37,731
‪你知道

303
00:22:38,857 --> 00:22:41,151
‪我記得有一次，由於我能言善道

304
00:22:41,234 --> 00:22:43,195
‪我找一個毒販聊過

305
00:22:46,073 --> 00:22:49,034
‪那傢伙拿了半公斤給我，我說：“嘿”

306
00:22:49,993 --> 00:22:51,453
‪“下週見”

307
00:22:51,536 --> 00:22:53,205
‪“好，好吧”

308
00:22:54,873 --> 00:22:56,583
‪我不知道要賣給誰

309
00:23:01,004 --> 00:23:03,632
‪他的貨在我這裡放了兩個月

310
00:23:05,175 --> 00:23:06,593
‪他在找我

311
00:23:08,053 --> 00:23:12,182
‪欠毒販錢是世上最糟的感覺，該死

312
00:23:13,016 --> 00:23:17,104
‪這裡的人都說：“大東尼在找你”

313
00:23:17,896 --> 00:23:21,108
‪“有，我有見到他
‪我知道他在哪裡，我跟他談過了”

314
00:23:21,983 --> 00:23:24,486
‪“你才沒跟他談過，他在找你啦”

315
00:23:27,781 --> 00:23:31,326
‪其他毒販也會幫他抓你什麼的

316
00:23:32,327 --> 00:23:34,204
‪你去運動用品店買個鞋子

317
00:23:34,287 --> 00:23:37,124
‪“對，他現在在這裡買喬丹鞋”

318
00:23:37,833 --> 00:23:40,335
‪“用的是你的錢，大東尼”

319
00:23:42,462 --> 00:23:44,506
‪“別讓他離開，拖住他”

320
00:23:45,006 --> 00:23:45,966
‪“拖住他”

321
00:23:51,555 --> 00:23:54,808
‪欠大毒販錢是最糟的感覺

322
00:23:54,891 --> 00:23:58,145
‪你玩個骰子
‪他就走過來，你正在大吼

323
00:23:58,228 --> 00:23:59,855
‪“大東尼，你好嗎？”

324
00:24:01,314 --> 00:24:02,649
‪“啊！”

325
00:24:04,484 --> 00:24:07,112
‪他說：“我要對這傢伙說什麼？”

326
00:24:15,328 --> 00:24:18,498
‪我記得我在一個叫阿皮庫倫的地方

327
00:24:18,582 --> 00:24:21,334
‪那是薩瑟蘭路上的一家舊夜店

328
00:24:21,418 --> 00:24:23,128
‪1990年代的店

329
00:24:24,004 --> 00:24:26,756
‪我以前會把古柯鹼放在外套裡

330
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:29,217
‪警察檢查時才找不到

331
00:24:29,301 --> 00:24:31,470
‪我在阿皮庫倫擲骰子

332
00:24:31,553 --> 00:24:34,890
‪裡面只有老頭跟老賭客什麼的

333
00:24:34,973 --> 00:24:37,601
‪他們在裡面玩骰子，牆上有個標示

334
00:24:37,684 --> 00:24:38,518
‪“禁止毒品”

335
00:24:38,602 --> 00:24:39,811
‪“禁止槍械”

336
00:24:39,895 --> 00:24:41,563
‪裡面就只有毒品跟槍械

337
00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:47,861
‪只要牆上貼禁止什麼

338
00:24:47,944 --> 00:24:49,279
‪裡面已經有了

339
00:24:50,697 --> 00:24:51,740
‪我在玩骰子

340
00:24:52,616 --> 00:24:55,118
‪我一擲骰子，毒品全掉了出來

341
00:24:58,121 --> 00:25:00,290
‪所有老頭都喊：“啊”

342
00:25:02,042 --> 00:25:05,086
‪其中一個老頭說
‪“滾出去，搞什麼？”

343
00:25:07,923 --> 00:25:10,926
‪我出去以後
‪他說：“兩包要多少錢？”

344
00:25:17,599 --> 00:25:18,433
‪對

345
00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:20,560
‪在疫情期間，我說真的

346
00:25:20,644 --> 00:25:24,147
‪新冠肺炎搞得一切停擺
‪只有撫養費得照付

347
00:25:25,649 --> 00:25:29,110
‪只有撫養費沒有停擺，還在動

348
00:25:32,322 --> 00:25:36,117
‪你像我要付天價撫養費時
‪就會對你的小孩很壞

349
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:39,246
‪“關上他媽的門”

350
00:25:48,004 --> 00:25:50,966
‪“爸爸，我科科拿高分”
‪“我才不在乎”

351
00:26:00,934 --> 00:26:03,562
‪只有撫養費沒有停擺

352
00:26:03,645 --> 00:26:05,772
‪因為我有打去

353
00:26:07,023 --> 00:26:08,483
‪對，我跟那位女士說

354
00:26:08,567 --> 00:26:10,569
‪“妳有看到現在是什麼世道嗎？”

355
00:26:12,028 --> 00:26:14,447
‪“妳狂寄撫養費單據來，賤人”

356
00:26:14,531 --> 00:26:16,616
‪“妳看到世界要毀滅了嗎？”

357
00:26:22,831 --> 00:26:25,792
‪她說
‪“我們跟這件事無關，伊皮斯先生”

358
00:26:26,376 --> 00:26:28,503
‪“你沒有錢就去死”

359
00:26:35,677 --> 00:26:37,554
‪我跟她說：“去妳的，叫經理過來”

360
00:26:37,637 --> 00:26:41,057
‪“我不想跟妳說話
‪妳不是這裡的老闆”

361
00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:43,101
‪對，該死

362
00:26:44,227 --> 00:26:47,939
‪疫情期間
‪我追起網劇《維蘇斯》，很好看

363
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:51,359
‪巴比布朗和基思斯威特那集最精彩

364
00:26:52,235 --> 00:26:54,821
‪我以為巴比布朗會死，不過…

365
00:26:54,904 --> 00:26:56,740
‪妳每走一小步

366
00:26:59,909 --> 00:27:02,370
‪妳每走一小步

367
00:27:02,454 --> 00:27:05,081
‪在一起

368
00:27:07,542 --> 00:27:09,419
‪我說他們最好替這大胖

369
00:27:09,502 --> 00:27:12,422
‪找個醫護人員在一旁待命

370
00:27:14,758 --> 00:27:17,093
‪我愛巴比布朗

371
00:27:17,802 --> 00:27:19,429
‪沒錯

372
00:27:19,512 --> 00:27:22,557
‪基思斯威特出場時穿了阿拉丁的外套

373
00:27:26,061 --> 00:27:30,148
‪他在1980年代搞阿姨
‪搞到背再也直不了

374
00:27:32,150 --> 00:27:35,487
‪他一生跟三百多個阿姨上過床

375
00:27:39,824 --> 00:27:42,452
‪他可能上過你的阿姨，他會去臉孔

376
00:27:44,329 --> 00:27:47,916
‪邁克瓊斯和坦迪等人都會去臉孔

377
00:27:53,463 --> 00:27:55,924
‪這裡有很多年輕的奶奶

378
00:27:56,007 --> 00:27:59,052
‪現在的奶奶…天啊

379
00:28:00,011 --> 00:28:03,098
‪她們跟我們的奶奶不一樣

380
00:28:04,891 --> 00:28:05,809
‪別忘了

381
00:28:05,892 --> 00:28:08,395
‪我們的奶奶都聽娜塔莉科爾的歌

382
00:28:09,729 --> 00:28:11,856
‪妳們都聽梅根西斯塔莉安的歌

383
00:28:14,943 --> 00:28:17,862
‪所以你知道那會是什麼樣的奶奶

384
00:28:19,155 --> 00:28:21,741
‪“寶貝，我們狂扭腰擺臀”

385
00:28:23,827 --> 00:28:26,788
‪“我的私訊多到炸”

386
00:28:34,838 --> 00:28:37,674
‪“我和蘿絲去了卡蒂B演唱會”

387
00:28:37,757 --> 00:28:38,717
‪“我們很開心”

388
00:28:43,096 --> 00:28:44,597
‪“蘿絲沒有”

389
00:28:45,682 --> 00:28:47,517
‪“但我和拉奎莎去了”

390
00:28:52,522 --> 00:28:54,524
‪“記得90歲的拉奎莎”

391
00:28:55,942 --> 00:28:59,821
‪“我和拉奎莎很開心”

392
00:29:08,413 --> 00:29:10,582
‪83年的熟蜜桃

393
00:29:15,336 --> 00:29:17,422
‪對，不是鬧的

394
00:29:18,590 --> 00:29:20,133
‪在場的美女這麼多

395
00:29:20,216 --> 00:29:22,844
‪如果妳知道自己很漂亮，就出個聲吧

396
00:29:22,927 --> 00:29:23,762
‪來吧

397
00:29:25,388 --> 00:29:28,767
‪對，妳的自信呢？

398
00:29:30,643 --> 00:29:33,688
‪如果妳不知道自己很漂亮
‪就出個聲吧

399
00:29:36,691 --> 00:29:38,693
‪好，那裡有個笨妹

400
00:29:38,777 --> 00:29:39,611
‪就…

401
00:29:40,153 --> 00:29:43,239
‪她得說點什麼，她不是不知道嗎？

402
00:29:45,784 --> 00:29:47,619
‪如果妳一點都不漂亮

403
00:29:51,873 --> 00:29:54,250
‪但妳的自信爆表

404
00:29:55,460 --> 00:29:59,464
‪而男人想偷偷上妳，就出個聲吧

405
00:30:05,428 --> 00:30:07,472
‪有個男的說：“耶”

406
00:30:09,015 --> 00:30:10,350
‪閉嘴啦，該死

407
00:30:13,353 --> 00:30:18,066
‪因為所有長得像碧昂絲又有錢的女生
‪她們會靜靜坐在角落

408
00:30:19,275 --> 00:30:20,693
‪不好玩

409
00:30:20,777 --> 00:30:24,364
‪所有看來像柯克富蘭克林的賤人有酒

410
00:30:24,948 --> 00:30:27,742
‪有各式各樣的東西

411
00:30:36,292 --> 00:30:37,418
‪對

412
00:30:38,127 --> 00:30:40,630
‪演藝圈不好混

413
00:30:41,422 --> 00:30:43,174
‪人人都對你有所求

414
00:30:44,509 --> 00:30:47,178
‪你想滿足大家，但你有的並不夠

415
00:30:52,433 --> 00:30:54,060
‪真是太糟糕了

416
00:30:54,978 --> 00:30:57,564
‪黑人就是這樣，你去野餐

417
00:30:57,647 --> 00:31:00,400
‪你很有名什麼的
‪大家見到你就很高興

418
00:31:00,483 --> 00:31:03,945
‪有黑人在角落吃東西看著你說：“對”

419
00:31:16,791 --> 00:31:19,294
‪他到底是怎麼了？

420
00:31:22,213 --> 00:31:24,757
‪“對，我為了你要叫一下”

421
00:31:28,970 --> 00:31:30,096
‪對

422
00:31:30,179 --> 00:31:33,141
‪我在印第安納波利斯時
‪只有在這裡

423
00:31:33,224 --> 00:31:35,018
‪大家不會對我虛假

424
00:31:35,101 --> 00:31:38,521
‪不管我到哪裡
‪大家看到我都很高興，“麥克伊皮斯”

425
00:31:39,606 --> 00:31:41,274
‪我來印第安納波利斯

426
00:31:43,610 --> 00:31:45,904
‪我在雜貨店，有人走過來

427
00:31:45,987 --> 00:31:48,656
‪“你在臺上
‪還在扯那些老套的笑話嗎？”

428
00:31:49,574 --> 00:31:53,620
‪我不會再來這裡了，你見不得人好

429
00:31:59,959 --> 00:32:01,920
‪對，真的很爛

430
00:32:02,629 --> 00:32:04,213
‪你們有正妹

431
00:32:04,297 --> 00:32:07,842
‪我常跟男人說
‪“別跟穿著雪靴的女孩上床”

432
00:32:09,761 --> 00:32:13,222
‪穿雪靴的女孩是賤貨

433
00:32:13,306 --> 00:32:16,059
‪對，獅子色雪靴

434
00:32:16,142 --> 00:32:17,101
‪那…

435
00:32:19,270 --> 00:32:20,772
‪那是賤貨

436
00:32:21,856 --> 00:32:23,524
‪黑貂雪靴

437
00:32:24,859 --> 00:32:26,361
‪那是賤貨

438
00:32:28,655 --> 00:32:30,990
‪她們會在速食店後面跟你搞

439
00:32:31,866 --> 00:32:32,700
‪大烤牛肉

440
00:32:50,510 --> 00:32:52,971
‪我記得我年輕時在印第安納州被搶

441
00:32:53,054 --> 00:32:54,639
‪壞人把我放進後車廂

442
00:32:56,307 --> 00:32:58,643
‪他們準備殺了我，我說真的

443
00:33:00,144 --> 00:33:02,522
‪他們一切掉音樂，我就敲了敲

444
00:33:02,605 --> 00:33:05,149
‪他們說：“幹嘛？”
‪我說：“再放一次”

445
00:33:05,817 --> 00:33:08,778
‪他們說：“你在後面最好閉嘴”

446
00:33:23,543 --> 00:33:24,836
‪比爾寇司比出獄了

447
00:33:24,919 --> 00:33:25,837
‪對

448
00:33:29,340 --> 00:33:31,259
‪對，我想跟比爾寇司比一起

449
00:33:31,342 --> 00:33:35,638
‪但我記得他碎念兄弟們都穿垮褲

450
00:33:36,305 --> 00:33:38,683
‪他沒跟我們同在

451
00:33:38,766 --> 00:33:40,059
‪他人在心不在

452
00:33:41,561 --> 00:33:43,229
‪但他被抓了

453
00:33:43,312 --> 00:33:45,690
‪都怪白人女性告發他

454
00:33:46,607 --> 00:33:48,860
‪白人女孩太瞎了

455
00:33:48,943 --> 00:33:51,404
‪大家看到採訪

456
00:33:52,196 --> 00:33:55,825
‪對，一堆白人女孩告發他

457
00:33:55,908 --> 00:33:58,703
‪我兩週前才在亞特蘭大看到他

458
00:33:58,786 --> 00:34:03,583
‪我看到他
‪在梅西百貨買毛衣，他穿著背心

459
00:34:07,670 --> 00:34:11,632
‪他戴了口罩，他不知道我看到他
‪但我知道他的小動作

460
00:34:12,925 --> 00:34:14,469
‪我記得他在電視節目裡的動作

461
00:34:16,471 --> 00:34:18,639
‪他在裡面就是那樣轉身的

462
00:34:22,769 --> 00:34:24,854
‪我跟我兒子說：“那是比爾寇司比”

463
00:34:27,273 --> 00:34:29,233
‪我跟他鬧著玩，我迅速走過去

464
00:34:29,317 --> 00:34:32,153
‪我說：“賤貨在哪裡？”，他說：“嘿”

465
00:34:37,492 --> 00:34:38,826
‪“賤貨在哪裡？”

466
00:34:40,703 --> 00:34:45,041
‪比爾寇司比迷昏白人女性
‪清一色白人妹子

467
00:34:45,124 --> 00:34:48,127
‪訪談上清一色是白人妹在告發比爾

468
00:34:48,211 --> 00:34:51,923
‪他迷昏白人妹，迷昏白人女性

469
00:34:52,006 --> 00:34:53,466
‪“比爾”

470
00:34:54,050 --> 00:34:56,052
‪他說：“太舒暢爽口了”

471
00:35:00,556 --> 00:35:02,642
‪他試著迷昏幾個黑人女性

472
00:35:02,725 --> 00:35:05,144
‪但她們每晚都在喝，酒量太好

473
00:35:08,397 --> 00:35:10,650
‪他在一個黑人女孩的飲料裡
‪下了四顆藥

474
00:35:10,733 --> 00:35:13,611
‪她跟他說
‪“幹嘛？我應該要出事嗎？”

475
00:35:15,029 --> 00:35:16,489
‪“妳會沒命，賤人

476
00:35:16,572 --> 00:35:19,325
‪我在妳的酒裡下了一堆藥”

477
00:35:29,460 --> 00:35:32,547
‪他們把黑人都關起來，懂嗎？

478
00:35:32,630 --> 00:35:33,589
‪該死的溫斯坦

479
00:35:33,673 --> 00:35:36,342
‪他以為他生病就能逃過一劫

480
00:35:36,884 --> 00:35:39,595
‪他每次出庭都沒辦法走路

481
00:35:43,891 --> 00:35:46,227
‪他們說：“進來，我們有…”

482
00:35:48,563 --> 00:35:51,149
‪“監獄裡也有病房”

483
00:35:52,316 --> 00:35:54,360
‪“你要去坐牢，白小子”

484
00:35:57,947 --> 00:36:01,868
‪勞凱利，該死
‪真是個會唱歌的混蛋

485
00:36:02,410 --> 00:36:04,245
‪黑人唱將

486
00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:08,082
‪誰會在《維蘇斯》打敗勞凱利？

487
00:36:08,166 --> 00:36:10,001
‪沒人

488
00:36:12,044 --> 00:36:13,921
‪不，我告訴你誰能打敗他

489
00:36:14,005 --> 00:36:14,839
‪法官

490
00:36:20,678 --> 00:36:23,598
‪法官會毀掉他

491
00:36:25,975 --> 00:36:27,643
‪對，真的很糟糕

492
00:36:28,144 --> 00:36:31,772
‪因為我來自印第安納州
‪你知道這個小鎮的狀況吧？

493
00:36:31,856 --> 00:36:33,065
‪但我要老實說

494
00:36:33,149 --> 00:36:36,277
‪我受夠假裝不喜歡白人了

495
00:36:45,536 --> 00:36:48,080
‪我只有在黑人面前會這麼做

496
00:36:56,214 --> 00:37:01,052
‪白人，如果你們聽到
‪我在黑人身邊說了你們什麼壞話

497
00:37:07,308 --> 00:37:13,105
‪結果我轉頭回到門禁社區
‪就擁抱我的鄰居鮑伯和他老婆辛蒂

498
00:37:13,189 --> 00:37:15,149
‪還說：“鮑伯，我愛你”

499
00:37:17,151 --> 00:37:19,654
‪我是假惺惺的黑人

500
00:37:30,331 --> 00:37:33,793
‪黑人一有錢，就不想跟黑人為伍

501
00:37:34,460 --> 00:37:38,839
‪“叫黑人離我遠一點
‪我不跟黑人打交道”

502
00:37:38,923 --> 00:37:39,924
‪“他媽的”

503
00:37:43,511 --> 00:37:44,762
‪“黑人太微不足道了”

504
00:37:44,845 --> 00:37:47,473
‪“他們是黑人？把他們攆走”

505
00:37:47,556 --> 00:37:49,475
‪“我不跟黑人打交道”

506
00:37:53,771 --> 00:37:56,565
‪對，真的很糟糕

507
00:37:58,401 --> 00:37:59,902
‪看看這些年輕女孩

508
00:37:59,986 --> 00:38:04,115
‪年輕女孩
‪只能跟蒂娜透納等年長女性往來

509
00:38:05,241 --> 00:38:06,158
‪霍維爾來的人

510
00:38:06,242 --> 00:38:07,535
‪蒂娜透納，以及…

511
00:38:08,202 --> 00:38:09,203
‪貝蒂賴特

512
00:38:10,162 --> 00:38:12,415
‪年長女性懂得開口

513
00:38:12,498 --> 00:38:15,835
‪年輕女性在跟你睡過後
‪不懂得要怎麼開口

514
00:38:15,918 --> 00:38:18,421
‪年長女性懂得如何開口要錢

515
00:38:18,921 --> 00:38:20,756
‪這是年長女性要錢的方式

516
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:24,802
‪“我在想，我們相處了兩小時

517
00:38:24,885 --> 00:38:27,263
‪而你看來也很開心”

518
00:38:28,389 --> 00:38:31,100
‪“如果你有心對我好

519
00:38:31,183 --> 00:38:35,855
‪可以讓我去做美甲什麼的”

520
00:38:37,064 --> 00:38:40,735
‪她說出這種話，你要怎麼拒絕？

521
00:38:42,903 --> 00:38:44,905
‪這是年輕女孩要錢的方式

522
00:38:44,989 --> 00:38:47,700
‪“你說的話要兌現，老幫派”

523
00:38:52,246 --> 00:38:55,541
‪“我得給妳兩百美元
‪還得吃抗生素？”

524
00:38:55,624 --> 00:38:57,543
‪“別回來了，我才不在乎”

525
00:39:02,798 --> 00:39:04,425
‪對，真的很糟糕

526
00:39:04,508 --> 00:39:06,469
‪“就這樣”，年輕女生都這麼說

527
00:39:07,261 --> 00:39:08,304
‪“就這樣”

528
00:39:11,265 --> 00:39:13,851
‪我追不上年輕觀眾，就這樣

529
00:39:16,145 --> 00:39:18,022
‪我的孩子只會跳舞

530
00:39:18,105 --> 00:39:21,609
‪年輕人的舞步超狂

531
00:39:29,033 --> 00:39:30,951
‪“別在我身邊亂動”

532
00:39:35,456 --> 00:39:39,460
‪我的一個女兒這麼做…
‪我說：“妳這不是在跳舞吧？”

533
00:39:39,543 --> 00:39:41,003
‪這種動作

534
00:39:43,172 --> 00:39:45,758
‪在從前可是會被揍眼睛的

535
00:39:46,342 --> 00:39:48,761
‪動作像妳要打人

536
00:39:52,473 --> 00:39:56,936
‪對，我在印第安納波利斯長大
‪我會破壞消防栓什麼的

537
00:39:57,937 --> 00:40:00,314
‪會去吃免費午餐

538
00:40:00,898 --> 00:40:02,191
‪在48公立學校

539
00:40:03,567 --> 00:40:04,402
‪對

540
00:40:06,070 --> 00:40:08,322
‪診斷中心

541
00:40:13,494 --> 00:40:17,581
‪我喜歡印第安納波利斯的一切
‪這是個美麗的小鎮

542
00:40:20,418 --> 00:40:23,337
‪這座城市造就了我

543
00:40:23,421 --> 00:40:24,880
‪懂我的意思嗎？

544
00:40:24,964 --> 00:40:25,881
‪對

545
00:40:27,466 --> 00:40:30,094
‪對，這個節目要獻給我爸媽

546
00:40:30,177 --> 00:40:32,972
‪去年，他們雙雙離世

547
00:40:34,014 --> 00:40:36,642
‪他們是真正的印第安納波利斯人

548
00:40:37,143 --> 00:40:38,853
‪瑪麗里德、湯米伊皮斯

549
00:40:38,936 --> 00:40:41,689
‪我父親在納威司達工作了40年

550
00:40:47,445 --> 00:40:49,822
‪對，我媽以前在布洛克工作

551
00:40:51,365 --> 00:40:52,199
‪對

552
00:40:52,741 --> 00:40:53,826
‪大家記得布洛克嗎？

553
00:40:55,453 --> 00:40:57,788
‪記得斯比爾的目錄

554
00:40:58,789 --> 00:41:01,542
‪你會用來訂購商品

555
00:41:01,625 --> 00:41:04,670
‪從前的印第安納波利斯就是這麼棒

556
00:41:04,753 --> 00:41:05,754
‪墓園

557
00:41:08,048 --> 00:41:12,303
‪“晚安，歡迎來到墓園”

558
00:41:13,012 --> 00:41:15,639
‪我以前會穿著內褲尖叫

559
00:41:16,140 --> 00:41:17,683
‪“鬼要來抓你了”

560
00:41:17,766 --> 00:41:21,061
‪我媽就是這樣哄我上床的
‪“鬼會來抓你”

561
00:41:22,938 --> 00:41:25,649
‪對，大家不清楚
‪印第安納波利斯的情形

562
00:41:25,733 --> 00:41:28,235
‪但這裡不只有玉米，懂我的意思嗎？

563
00:41:32,823 --> 00:41:37,119
‪這裡有聰明、睿智、受過教育的人
‪還有很會討生活的人

564
00:41:37,203 --> 00:41:38,454
‪懂我的意思嗎？

565
00:41:38,537 --> 00:41:40,247
‪我在這裡學會討生活

566
00:41:40,789 --> 00:41:42,708
‪對，我賣過糖果

567
00:41:42,791 --> 00:41:46,212
‪但我不喜歡去30街跟克里夫頓街口
‪因為他們會整盒拿走

568
00:41:48,964 --> 00:41:51,175
‪我認識這裡的每個人

569
00:41:54,637 --> 00:41:56,847
‪我在這裡，所有…

570
00:41:57,681 --> 00:42:00,184
‪我的好萊塢表演是為了鏡頭

571
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:03,354
‪對

572
00:42:04,271 --> 00:42:08,275
‪我爸湯米伊皮斯常去大飯店

573
00:42:09,109 --> 00:42:11,278
‪他會固定去大飯店

574
00:42:11,362 --> 00:42:12,780
‪有一次我在監獄裡

575
00:42:12,863 --> 00:42:14,990
‪我在監獄裡，我當時年輕氣盛

576
00:42:15,074 --> 00:42:16,617
‪年輕氣盛的黑人

577
00:42:16,700 --> 00:42:18,536
‪會在監獄輪替老傢伙

578
00:42:18,619 --> 00:42:20,913
‪他們真的很會推銷監獄

579
00:42:21,830 --> 00:42:26,252
‪“我在朋德爾頓待了兩年後
‪去另一間再待三年”

580
00:42:26,335 --> 00:42:29,547
‪“然後在瓦巴什待了五年”

581
00:42:30,756 --> 00:42:34,677
‪監獄被他們說得好像很讚
‪你說：“我一定要去看看”

582
00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:36,554
‪“我得去看看”

583
00:42:39,598 --> 00:42:40,933
‪對，我曾經坐過牢

584
00:42:41,016 --> 00:42:43,185
‪我跟我爸說，我遇到一個老幫派

585
00:42:43,269 --> 00:42:44,395
‪他說得很好

586
00:42:44,478 --> 00:42:46,272
‪他說到白人

587
00:42:46,355 --> 00:42:49,358
‪“沒錯，是白人害你被關的”

588
00:42:50,359 --> 00:42:53,487
‪我心想：“不是，是我幹的”

589
00:42:55,614 --> 00:42:57,783
‪他抓到我了，白人抓到我了

590
00:43:03,914 --> 00:43:04,999
‪他是老幫派

591
00:43:05,082 --> 00:43:08,752
‪他跟我鬼扯一堆，於是我打給我爸

592
00:43:08,836 --> 00:43:12,006
‪我說：“爸，我跟一個男的在監獄”

593
00:43:12,089 --> 00:43:15,384
‪“這傢伙太聰明了，天啊”

594
00:43:15,968 --> 00:43:17,636
‪“他是真正的老幫派”

595
00:43:18,512 --> 00:43:20,306
‪我爸說：“沒錯”

596
00:43:21,348 --> 00:43:23,976
‪“他不太聰明，他跟你一起被關了”

597
00:43:28,731 --> 00:43:33,402
‪我說：“好，爸，我不能說了
‪他們要切電話了，再見”

598
00:43:35,738 --> 00:43:37,781
‪我爸很有幽默感

599
00:43:37,865 --> 00:43:39,116
‪有一天他打給我

600
00:43:39,199 --> 00:43:41,702
‪他說到幾個小子搶劫銀行

601
00:43:41,785 --> 00:43:45,372
‪他說：“沒錯
‪有幾個臭小子在印第安納搶銀行”

602
00:43:45,456 --> 00:43:50,294
‪他說：“記者問他們為何搶銀行”

603
00:43:50,377 --> 00:43:52,463
‪“其中一個小子說：‘該死

604
00:43:52,546 --> 00:43:54,298
‪我們在看《熱火》

605
00:43:54,381 --> 00:43:55,382
‪然後我們說

606
00:43:55,966 --> 00:43:57,384
‪我們決定管他去死’”

607
00:43:59,511 --> 00:44:00,471
‪我爸說

608
00:44:00,554 --> 00:44:04,058
‪“該死，他們一定沒看
‪那臭小子的下場如何”

609
00:44:06,226 --> 00:44:07,603
‪“他們超慘的”

610
00:44:10,314 --> 00:44:11,315
‪沒錯

611
00:44:11,940 --> 00:44:15,152
‪我媽以前常去開家長會

612
00:44:16,195 --> 00:44:18,739
‪老師會騙人什麼的

613
00:44:20,366 --> 00:44:22,451
‪你看過你媽跟老師說話

614
00:44:22,534 --> 00:44:24,495
‪然後你這樣看著你媽嗎？

615
00:44:27,623 --> 00:44:29,875
‪“你等等就死定了”

616
00:44:32,753 --> 00:44:33,587
‪對

617
00:44:34,338 --> 00:44:37,716
‪我媽常說要修理老師

618
00:44:38,217 --> 00:44:40,928
‪“我要教訓那賤人
‪我要讓她嚐到苦頭”

619
00:44:41,428 --> 00:44:44,431
‪“過去時客氣一點”
‪“好的，再見，讚”

620
00:44:45,015 --> 00:44:48,018
‪“給我上車”
‪我心想：“她到底說了什麼？”

621
00:44:50,646 --> 00:44:51,480
‪對

622
00:44:52,356 --> 00:44:55,192
‪我現在是大人了，我振作起來了

623
00:44:55,275 --> 00:44:57,319
‪我喜歡承認事情

624
00:44:58,904 --> 00:45:00,823
‪我的人生不算太振作

625
00:45:02,741 --> 00:45:03,575
‪你知道

626
00:45:04,493 --> 00:45:07,037
‪但我不像以前那樣了

627
00:45:07,538 --> 00:45:08,872
‪懂我的意思嗎？

628
00:45:10,374 --> 00:45:12,668
‪來自印第安納波利斯

629
00:45:12,751 --> 00:45:15,254
‪還能混出名堂

630
00:45:18,841 --> 00:45:22,302
‪這裡很糟
‪你不知道是因為你住在這裡

631
00:45:22,386 --> 00:45:23,595
‪你沒去外面看過

632
00:45:25,431 --> 00:45:29,351
‪有些人有，但這裡很糟

633
00:45:29,852 --> 00:45:30,728
‪你知道的

634
00:45:31,311 --> 00:45:33,981
‪沒有高中文憑

635
00:45:34,732 --> 00:45:36,900
‪背三條重罪

636
00:45:37,943 --> 00:45:39,111
‪領食物券

637
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:41,530
‪吃卡布穀片

638
00:45:43,449 --> 00:45:44,575
‪維他曼國王穀片

639
00:45:45,534 --> 00:45:47,619
‪我們是怎麼做到的？

640
00:45:49,580 --> 00:45:50,581
‪懂我的意思嗎？

641
00:45:51,957 --> 00:45:54,293
‪因為黑人太苦了

642
00:45:54,376 --> 00:45:56,837
‪而白人只要出一張嘴就好了

643
00:45:56,920 --> 00:46:01,341
‪整天說白人
‪而白人會說：“我理解，我懂”

644
00:46:02,092 --> 00:46:03,093
‪“我理解”

645
00:46:06,889 --> 00:46:11,185
‪但美國的黑人是狠角色，懂嗎？

646
00:46:12,311 --> 00:46:14,062
‪狠角色

647
00:46:16,064 --> 00:46:20,068
‪從零開始照贏不誤，狠角色

648
00:46:25,365 --> 00:46:27,367
‪所以我們需要霍格塞特市長

649
00:46:28,702 --> 00:46:30,913
‪對，他支持人民，懂我的意思嗎？

650
00:46:30,996 --> 00:46:33,457
‪我們需要廢奴主義者

651
00:46:38,378 --> 00:46:42,049
‪印第安納波利斯需要
‪白版佛雷德里克道格拉斯

652
00:46:45,552 --> 00:46:47,221
‪“來吧，快點”

653
00:46:48,096 --> 00:46:50,557
‪“他們來了，快走”

654
00:46:57,773 --> 00:47:00,609
‪我的兄弟安德烈卡森是本地人

655
00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:07,241
‪他在白宮拿到席次

656
00:47:07,324 --> 00:47:09,201
‪真是好樣的

657
00:47:09,284 --> 00:47:14,081
‪我的兄弟安普哈里斯常辦派對

658
00:47:14,790 --> 00:47:17,084
‪熱心幫助社區

659
00:47:17,167 --> 00:47:20,420
‪我的兄弟“砰砰”曼奇尼很棒

660
00:47:20,504 --> 00:47:23,799
‪麥克瓊斯是地方子弟

661
00:47:23,882 --> 00:47:26,176
‪我的兄弟瑞德斯洛德在那裡

662
00:47:26,260 --> 00:47:28,679
‪布萊德利家族，懂我的意思嗎？

663
00:47:29,346 --> 00:47:33,267
‪東區霍維爾的兄弟姊妹

664
00:47:36,979 --> 00:47:41,233
‪我知道你們都看過我的新網飛節目

665
00:47:44,152 --> 00:47:46,363
‪總部設在印第安納波利斯

666
00:47:48,490 --> 00:47:52,160
‪蒙提說：“我看到
‪你和湯米大衛森有新節目”

667
00:47:52,244 --> 00:47:53,787
‪我說：“那是旺達塞克絲”

668
00:48:05,966 --> 00:48:08,468
‪對，這些年輕人他們…

669
00:48:11,346 --> 00:48:13,432
‪他們需要幫忙，那是他們需要的

670
00:48:14,141 --> 00:48:15,392
‪對

671
00:48:15,475 --> 00:48:18,478
‪因為這些小孩現在很不尊重人

672
00:48:19,229 --> 00:48:20,564
‪小混蛋

673
00:48:21,523 --> 00:48:24,776
‪就像我說的，奶奶不一樣
‪知道我在說什麼嗎？

674
00:48:24,860 --> 00:48:27,905
‪對，他媽的奶奶不一樣了，該死

675
00:48:28,572 --> 00:48:31,283
‪記得在以前，奶奶會找上你

676
00:48:31,366 --> 00:48:34,745
‪你跟老婆婆眼神一對上
‪她就會說：“幫我去店裡”

677
00:48:36,413 --> 00:48:40,834
‪該死，現在你要跟著老婆婆進去

678
00:48:42,127 --> 00:48:43,712
‪熱得跟什麼一樣

679
00:48:46,590 --> 00:48:49,134
‪“我給你看，那是1.89美元”

680
00:48:50,552 --> 00:48:53,513
‪“過來，我讓你看是什麼，在上面”

681
00:48:54,932 --> 00:48:57,976
‪“手往上伸，把那個拿下來”

682
00:49:00,979 --> 00:49:03,231
‪“就在柳橙汁旁邊”

683
00:49:04,483 --> 00:49:06,693
‪“寶貝，你拿個東西吧”

684
00:49:07,986 --> 00:49:09,196
‪“拿個東西”

685
00:49:11,907 --> 00:49:15,077
‪“我要替自己拿個東西
‪妳的可能沒辦法買齊”

686
00:49:16,244 --> 00:49:19,206
‪我就是這樣對待老婆婆
‪我拿她們的錢

687
00:49:23,043 --> 00:49:25,295
‪對，是真的

688
00:49:25,379 --> 00:49:30,092
‪我喜歡講笑話，懂嗎？
‪我覺得我沒辦法做別的行業

689
00:49:31,426 --> 00:49:34,846
‪這裡的年輕人很可怕

690
00:49:34,930 --> 00:49:38,600
‪我前幾天在加油站
‪有幾個年輕人坐在車上

691
00:49:38,684 --> 00:49:40,727
‪我知道他們在說話，因為他們在笑

692
00:49:40,811 --> 00:49:42,354
‪我想說：“是怎樣…”

693
00:49:42,437 --> 00:49:44,731
‪我走回來時…由於我有辮子

694
00:49:44,815 --> 00:49:47,609
‪那傢伙說：“緊辮子頭”，我覺得…

695
00:49:50,404 --> 00:49:53,657
‪我聽到了，但我想說：“去他們的”

696
00:49:54,199 --> 00:49:56,034
‪於是我直接進了加油站

697
00:49:57,577 --> 00:50:00,372
‪我走出來時，又聽到另一個傢伙說

698
00:50:00,455 --> 00:50:01,456
‪“大短腿”

699
00:50:01,540 --> 00:50:02,624
‪我忍無可忍了

700
00:50:06,086 --> 00:50:08,422
‪我走向車子後往下看

701
00:50:08,505 --> 00:50:10,465
‪“小混蛋，我告訴你…”

702
00:50:10,549 --> 00:50:13,677
‪我一眼瞄到後座有一把機關槍

703
00:50:14,469 --> 00:50:17,723
‪我說：“上帝保佑你們
‪祝你們今天愉快，保重”

704
00:50:22,144 --> 00:50:24,563
‪我要趕快閃人，該死

705
00:50:26,815 --> 00:50:28,525
‪戴夫查普爾做得好

706
00:50:28,608 --> 00:50:32,112
‪但我不會建議沒財力的人這麼做

707
00:50:34,031 --> 00:50:37,075
‪碎嘴LGBTQT社群的事

708
00:50:37,159 --> 00:50:38,452
‪你最好要有點財力

709
00:50:41,955 --> 00:50:44,332
‪你一說錯話，他們就圍攻過來了

710
00:50:44,416 --> 00:50:45,667
‪“操麥克伊皮斯”

711
00:50:45,751 --> 00:50:47,210
‪“操麥克伊皮斯”

712
00:50:47,294 --> 00:50:48,837
‪“操麥克伊皮斯”

713
00:50:50,422 --> 00:50:51,506
‪他們還是說真的

714
00:51:00,057 --> 00:51:02,559
‪我常跟男人說：“老兄”

715
00:51:03,310 --> 00:51:05,437
‪“別對同志們生氣”

716
00:51:06,021 --> 00:51:09,191
‪因為如果你太生氣
‪看起來會像你在隱瞞什麼

717
00:51:15,614 --> 00:51:17,532
‪我不覺得他們煩，不會

718
00:51:17,616 --> 00:51:20,452
‪我一天到晚看到他們，在機場看到

719
00:51:21,036 --> 00:51:21,870
‪“麥克伊皮斯”

720
00:51:21,953 --> 00:51:24,748
‪我說：“冷靜點，首先，冷靜下來”

721
00:51:25,540 --> 00:51:27,918
‪“別再吵了”

722
00:51:28,919 --> 00:51:30,837
‪“搞得大家都看到了”

723
00:51:32,881 --> 00:51:36,551
‪“我想跟你合照”，我說：“我在拍了”

724
00:51:41,223 --> 00:51:43,475
‪我看看四周，我說：“老兄”

725
00:51:45,602 --> 00:51:47,896
‪我們來拍照，沒事

726
00:51:47,979 --> 00:51:50,899
‪我不知為何想往下看，所以我看了

727
00:51:50,982 --> 00:51:52,442
‪他這麼拍照

728
00:51:52,526 --> 00:51:55,403
‪我說：“不，兄弟
‪我們不能那樣拍照”

729
00:51:55,987 --> 00:51:59,407
‪“你那樣看著我，老兄，別了”

730
00:52:01,660 --> 00:52:04,121
‪這樣我晚上就會被《今夜娛樂》報導

731
00:52:15,590 --> 00:52:17,717
‪我再婚了

732
00:52:17,801 --> 00:52:19,427
‪我討了新老婆

733
00:52:23,598 --> 00:52:25,934
‪希望我不會搞砸這次婚姻

734
00:52:29,479 --> 00:52:33,900
‪對，婚姻真的不好搞
‪尤其是你在演藝圈

735
00:52:34,651 --> 00:52:36,486
‪因為女人會從天而降

736
00:52:47,873 --> 00:52:50,792
‪你得閃過
‪“不好意思，妹子，我走了”

737
00:52:51,418 --> 00:52:52,627
‪這會毀了我的人生

738
00:52:56,047 --> 00:52:57,132
‪我喜歡當黑人

739
00:52:57,215 --> 00:53:00,260
‪如果我死而復生
‪我還是想當黑人，了不起吧？

740
00:53:05,932 --> 00:53:08,727
‪看看白人
‪“你確定你想再來一次？”

741
00:53:15,358 --> 00:53:16,735
‪你說得對

742
00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:22,991
‪當黑人不容易，但很公平
‪因為在美國當黑人

743
00:53:23,074 --> 00:53:27,120
‪該死，你得從零開始，懂嗎？

744
00:53:27,204 --> 00:53:30,540
‪你永遠不會從十開始

745
00:53:30,624 --> 00:53:34,294
‪你需要從十開始的人
‪幫助你這個處於零的人

746
00:53:36,254 --> 00:53:39,633
‪懂我的意思嗎？所以當黑人很辛苦

747
00:53:39,716 --> 00:53:42,010
‪黑人吃了太多苦頭

748
00:53:42,093 --> 00:53:45,722
‪跟白人聊時，他們只會說：“我理解”

749
00:53:45,805 --> 00:53:47,390
‪“去吧，就去吧”

750
00:53:47,891 --> 00:53:50,852
‪“這對你們不公平，去吧”

751
00:53:51,603 --> 00:53:52,812
‪“我理解”

752
00:53:55,190 --> 00:53:56,483
‪沒錯

753
00:53:57,025 --> 00:53:58,276
‪非裔美國人

754
00:53:58,360 --> 00:54:02,072
‪該死，只有我們沒地方可去

755
00:54:02,155 --> 00:54:04,616
‪墨西哥人火大了可以回墨西哥

756
00:54:05,200 --> 00:54:06,201
‪如果…對

757
00:54:06,743 --> 00:54:09,412
‪亞洲人火大了可以回亞洲

758
00:54:10,372 --> 00:54:12,916
‪黑人火大了就沒地方去了

759
00:54:14,209 --> 00:54:16,920
‪我原本以為是非洲
‪我去了以後，他們說

760
00:54:17,003 --> 00:54:19,381
‪“你不是我的真兄弟”

761
00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:21,967
‪我說：“什麼？”

762
00:54:22,926 --> 00:54:26,179
‪“對，兄弟，你不是我的兄弟”

763
00:54:27,806 --> 00:54:28,890
‪“你們很懶惰”

764
00:54:28,974 --> 00:54:31,643
‪“你們不好好利用教育”

765
00:54:36,731 --> 00:54:39,651
‪我說：“你計程車能開快一點嗎？”

766
00:54:41,861 --> 00:54:44,072
‪“而且快給我用體香劑”

767
00:54:47,158 --> 00:54:49,953
‪“為高等教育的低薪乘客行行好”

768
00:54:51,913 --> 00:54:54,124
‪大家都以為自己會上天堂，但是沒有

769
00:54:56,251 --> 00:54:58,670
‪上帝知道你是邪惡的基督徒

770
00:55:00,630 --> 00:55:04,676
‪如果有人先行離開並且上了天堂

771
00:55:04,759 --> 00:55:07,512
‪我不管是你的爸媽或兄弟姊妹

772
00:55:07,595 --> 00:55:09,472
‪他們去了，好讓你能上天堂

773
00:55:11,016 --> 00:55:13,810
‪因為你進不去，你沒有被邀請

774
00:55:15,937 --> 00:55:17,063
‪要有門路才行

775
00:55:24,279 --> 00:55:27,198
‪一旦你到了天堂，珍珠門矗立在那裡

776
00:55:27,282 --> 00:55:29,784
‪大家都想擠進去，就像上夜店

777
00:55:29,868 --> 00:55:31,244
‪大家都想進去

778
00:55:32,329 --> 00:55:35,957
‪大隻保鑣站在那裡
‪耶穌出來，就像公關

779
00:55:36,041 --> 00:55:37,709
‪祂放屌咖妹子先進去

780
00:55:37,792 --> 00:55:38,793
‪“讓她進來”

781
00:55:39,294 --> 00:55:42,047
‪“那邊那兩個，讓那個女孩進去”

782
00:55:42,130 --> 00:55:43,798
‪“讓兩個女生進去”

783
00:55:45,133 --> 00:55:46,426
‪“我再傳簡訊給你”

784
00:55:49,095 --> 00:55:49,929
‪對

785
00:55:50,847 --> 00:55:52,474
‪你不會進天堂

786
00:55:52,557 --> 00:55:54,809
‪但在天堂的所有黑人貧民區母親

787
00:55:54,893 --> 00:55:58,605
‪都會放她們的兒子進來
‪她們在那裡有旁門

788
00:55:59,773 --> 00:56:03,234
‪黑人母親會說：“來吧，寶貝，進來”

789
00:56:04,110 --> 00:56:05,945
‪“你渾身大麻味，來吧”

790
00:56:07,238 --> 00:56:08,698
‪“戴上翅膀”

791
00:56:09,282 --> 00:56:10,617
‪“拉上去，拍翅”

792
00:56:11,826 --> 00:56:13,286
‪“假裝你是天使”

793
00:56:14,579 --> 00:56:17,123
‪我愛大家，印第安納波利斯
‪願上帝保佑你們

794
00:56:20,126 --> 00:56:22,504
‪我們在網飛見

795
00:56:28,009 --> 00:56:29,511
‪午睡鎮

796
00:56:29,594 --> 00:56:32,514
‪（獻給瑪麗里德和湯米伊皮斯）

797
00:56:34,724 --> 00:56:38,186
‪有請市長喬霍格塞特上臺

798
00:56:47,570 --> 00:56:51,199
‪我很榮幸宣布2021年11月20日

799
00:56:51,950 --> 00:56:53,910
‪為麥克伊皮斯日

800
00:56:54,536 --> 00:56:56,871
‪就在印第安納波利斯市

801
00:56:58,289 --> 00:56:59,874
‪最後

802
00:57:00,667 --> 00:57:01,626
‪有請

803
00:57:01,709 --> 00:57:04,462
‪安德烈卡森眾議員上臺

804
00:57:10,260 --> 00:57:11,970
‪你將永遠刻在

805
00:57:12,053 --> 00:57:15,974
‪美國國會的國會紀錄裡

806
00:57:16,850 --> 00:57:19,185
‪你的貢獻將受到認可

807
00:57:19,269 --> 00:57:20,562
‪你是諧星

808
00:57:20,645 --> 00:57:21,729
‪製作人

809
00:57:21,813 --> 00:57:23,690
‪演員、企業家

810
00:57:23,773 --> 00:57:25,483
‪更重要的是，他是在地人

811
00:57:25,567 --> 00:57:26,651
‪麥克，我們愛你

812
00:57:27,944 --> 00:57:31,322
‪我告訴你
‪我們需要一條麥克伊皮斯街

813
00:57:33,741 --> 00:57:37,078
‪籃球教練麥克伍德森在今晚來到現場

814
00:57:37,579 --> 00:57:39,080
‪麥克伍德森

815
00:57:40,123 --> 00:57:42,375
‪我的兄弟伍迪就在那裡

816
00:57:43,918 --> 00:57:46,087
‪印第安納波利斯本地人

817
00:57:49,799 --> 00:57:51,259
‪我…

818
00:57:51,342 --> 00:57:53,511
‪我想謝謝你

819
00:57:54,554 --> 00:57:57,307
‪還要感謝我所有的朋友和家人

820
00:57:58,016 --> 00:57:59,726
‪我愛大家

821
00:57:59,809 --> 00:58:00,643
‪謝謝

822
00:58:02,937 --> 00:58:04,189
‪我很感激

823
00:58:04,272 --> 00:58:07,817
‪感激我能光榮返鄉

824
00:58:07,901 --> 00:58:10,820
‪大家都不能回家，懂我的意思嗎？

825
00:58:11,446 --> 00:58:12,864
‪所以能回家

826
00:58:12,947 --> 00:58:17,035
‪對我來說意義重大，我很感激

827
00:58:17,118 --> 00:58:20,288
‪請問有人有雪茄能讓我捲大麻嗎…

828
00:58:25,251 --> 00:58:30,256
‪字幕翻譯：張倩茜