1
00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:13,360
“運動能提升精子的品質”

2
00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:15,320
寬鬆內褲也是

3
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,160
還有β胡蘿蔔素，多吃胡蘿蔔

4
00:00:17,240 --> 00:00:18,760
“避免壓力大的情況”

5
00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:22,080
手機不要靠近蛋蛋，別放在口袋裡

6
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:23,880
那要放在哪裡？

7
00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:27,960
你們有發現我們多年來
至少浪費數十億個健康精子嗎？

8
00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:28,880
真可惜

9
00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:31,360
或許我自始至終都是不孕的

10
00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:33,800
想想你本來能省下多少保險套錢

11
00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:35,920
“忍一時讓你更有男人味

12
00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:37,920
只要二到五天不自慰

13
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,840
精液品質就會提高

14
00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:42,880
超過7天，睪固酮會增加45%”

15
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,320
天啊，那我要省下打針的錢

16
00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:45,600
讓烏利西斯上柔道課

17
00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:47,680
你們真覺得我們能那麼久不…

18
00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:49,920
-對啊
-一週沒辦法，但兩天…

19
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:53,040
-你上次打手槍是什麼時候？
-現在幾點？

20
00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:55,720
我們別讓佩羅孤軍奮戰

21
00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:56,880
來看誰撐最久不自慰

22
00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:58,200
要怎麼知道誰贏？

23
00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:00,200
我們必須誠實

24
00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:01,520
我們陪你，佩羅

25
00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:05,960
這手機殼是怎麼回事？

26
00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:08,440
這是愛麗絲的舊手機

27
00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:12,840
桑提，你刪影片了吧？請確認

28
00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:14,080
該死

29
00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:16,440
寶拉，你好嗎？

30
00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:18,120
呃…我已經刪了，好嗎？

31
00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:20,360
別擔心，都搞定了

32
00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:23,760
問題解決了，一切都在掌控之中

33
00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:26,440
親…祝你有美好的一天，再見

34
00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:27,960
為什麼要騙她？

35
00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:29,000
以免她煩我啊

36
00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:30,520
她很在意那支影片

37
00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:32,840
如果我前任有我裸體的影片

38
00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:34,240
我也會嚇壞

39
00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:36,640
-你試過手機定位嗎？
-啊？

40
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:39,320
拿另一部手機
“尋找我的iPhone”，就能定位

41
00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:42,080
怎麼到現在才告訴我？

42
00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:43,400
快解鎖

43
00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:45,240
桑提亞哥，這連我奶奶都知道

44
00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:46,720
-她還活著？
-對

45
00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:48,760
我來看看，密碼是…

46
00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:53,000
不對？還有兩次機會

47
00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:55,440
管它在哪裡，一切都存在雲端

48
00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:57,400
去iCloud刪掉就好啦

49
00:01:57,480 --> 00:01:59,520
-對喔，去雲端
-別刪，白痴

50
00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:00,920
媽的，剩一次機會

51
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,040
你為什麼輸入相同的密碼？

52
00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:04,160
因為那是對的

53
00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:05,240
顯然不是

54
00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:07,320
對了，你的案子被批准了嗎？

55
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,320
還沒，他們顯然卡在…

56
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:11,440
某條蠢法規上

57
00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:13,440
把影片留著，他們可能會搞你

58
00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:14,600
搞我？為什麼？

59
00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:16,400
被拋棄的女人可能會很惡毒

60
00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:18,400
她哪有被拋棄？是她離開他的

61
00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:20,560
別再輸入一樣的密碼了，你會被鎖定

62
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,880
我來問愛麗絲，她懂這些

63
00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:23,920
腳挪開

64
00:02:24,640 --> 00:02:25,880
桑提，聽我的

65
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:27,160
刪掉影片

66
00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:28,640
要備份

67
00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:30,360
拜託別煩我了，謝謝

68
00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:33,000
積極同意這回事真是有夠麻煩

69
00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:34,360
露絲有新消息嗎？

70
00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:36,000
她真的要跟那老頭生孩子？

71
00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:37,880
露絲當媽媽？我可不覺得她想

72
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,520
我在生殖診所看到她

73
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:40,800
對，她要開刀

74
00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:42,520
開刀？

75
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:45,800
她有一些問題，決定切除子宮

76
00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:50,480
但艾絲特好像叫我不要告訴你

77
00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:52,400
露絲得了癌症？

78
00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:54,680
不是癌症

79
00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:56,600
應該是癌前病變

80
00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:57,600
有這種東西嗎？

81
00:02:57,680 --> 00:02:59,160
你們懂我的意思

82
00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:00,840
我拿到你的手機了啦

83
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:09,720
《大男人注意》

84
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,160
路易斯是同性戀

85
00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:15,080
你又來了

86
00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:16,520
一切都說得通

87
00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:18,800
-他是個好爸爸
-代表他是同性戀？

88
00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:20,520
他想要開放式關係

89
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:21,520
這很直男啊

90
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:23,200
那要看你想跟誰打炮

91
00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:25,280
他送我後庭假陽具，知道我不會喜歡

92
00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:26,400
好自己在家用

93
00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:28,000
艾絲特，你想太多了

94
00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:29,160
想太多？

95
00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:31,560
-你看
-這是什麼？

96
00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:33,320
我在他口袋發現的

97
00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:34,640
“跟朋友一起打手槍”？

98
00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:36,520
還覺得我想太多嗎？

99
00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:37,840
看起來就是這麼回事

100
00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:39,480
上面說這是直男去的夜店

101
00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:42,400
最好是，還有巧克力甜甜圈
包裝會寫“無加糖”呢

102
00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:44,120
也許他是在擋風玻璃上撿到的

103
00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:45,280
只是沒拿去丟

104
00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:46,480
露絲，他就是同性戀

105
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,080
我老公是同性戀

106
00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:49,720
我的人生要毀了，又一次

107
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,640
-呼吸
-別叫我呼吸

108
00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:55,680
這算是離婚的加重因素吧？

109
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:57,040
不算，這無法證明任何事

110
00:03:57,840 --> 00:03:58,680
雇個偵探吧

111
00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:00,360
怎麼雇？

112
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:02,280
太貴了

113
00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:03,560
直接問他

114
00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:05,080
他可以全盤否認

115
00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:08,480
我要怎麼跟孩子們解釋？

116
00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:10,560
看吧，你別生孩子比較好

117
00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:13,160
不用擔心，我明天就要開刀了

118
00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:14,120
明天？

119
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:16,960
你不來看我的微型劇場首演？

120
00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,360
看起來沒辦法了

121
00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:20,120
不能改時間嗎？

122
00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:21,320
我可以陪你去診所

123
00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:22,240
沒關係

124
00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:23,360
那誰陪你？你媽？

125
00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:24,720
我媽？還是不要了

126
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:26,000
那誰陪你？

127
00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:27,960
艾絲特，我不需要任何人陪

128
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:30,320
真是太好了

129
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,560
沒有小孩，又擺脫了腫瘤和月經

130
00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:35,240
你可以好好享受人生了

131
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:37,840
要是我們早點認識就好了

132
00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,600
點“忘記密碼”，它會傳給你一個連結

133
00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:44,640
你的電郵是什麼？

134
00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:47,680
雅虎的，帳號是“我不喜歡瑞士甜菜”

135
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:51,560
其他帳號都有人用了

136
00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:53,480
太多人叫桑提亞哥佩拉塔了

137
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:55,760
密碼

138
00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:58,440
-iCloud的？不記得了
-我是說電郵的

139
00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:00,040
好，知道了

140
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:02,280
媽的

141
00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,560
我是很久以前設的

142
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:08,320
你記得你任何東西的密碼嗎？

143
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:11,400
全都存在我手機的筆記應用程式裡

144
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,280
就是你弄丟的那支

145
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:16,440
我要被你逼瘋了

146
00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:18,480
但沒關係

147
00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:21,760
我的工作電腦會自動登錄電郵

148
00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:23,240
所以我明天一到辦公室

149
00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:27,040
就打開iCloud搞定一切

150
00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:29,520
再晚幾小時也無所謂吧

151
00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,040
這次比較甜

152
00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:39,320
我該少放洋蔥的

153
00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:41,480
你知道你給我的後庭假陽具在哪嗎？

154
00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:43,080
我收起來了，你怎麼會要？

155
00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:44,240
收到哪裡了？

156
00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:46,600
-我的床頭櫃
-你的床頭櫃？

157
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:47,600
對，但放在很裡面

158
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,240
藏在手機盒裡

159
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:51,000
有充好電嗎？

160
00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:53,040
怎麼？

161
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,520
你要去約會嗎？

162
00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:57,920
不是說好不聊婚姻外的事嗎？

163
00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,320
好，抱歉

164
00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:01,880
我只是很驚訝你問我那玩意的事

165
00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:03,760
畢竟你不喜歡

166
00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:05,680
現在想想，我們就只有這條規則

167
00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:07,400
不說自己要跟誰約會

168
00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:09,120
我們需要更多規則嗎？

169
00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:10,360
不知道，比方說

170
00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:12,760
如果我哪天回家

171
00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:14,960
告訴你我跟一個女人上床了

172
00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:16,560
你會介意嗎？

173
00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:18,040
你跟女人上床了？

174
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:19,200
只是舉例，路易斯

175
00:06:19,280 --> 00:06:20,280
你會介意嗎？

176
00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:22,360
不會，那就是開放式關係的美好所在

177
00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:23,280
你幾乎沒吃耶

178
00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:25,280
你就不擔心我是蕾絲邊？

179
00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:27,560
蕾絲邊、好奇型雙性戀…

180
00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:30,880
這年頭，人們的性傾向非常模糊

181
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:33,320
確實

182
00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:37,040
別用這個

183
00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:38,600
-這才是清玻璃杯的
-我知道

184
00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:40,680
不，你不知道，這是清玻璃杯的

185
00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:42,920
-我正在清
-不…你別清了

186
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,120
要用這個清

187
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:46,160
我知道

188
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,920
不，你不知道，這才是清玻璃杯的

189
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:49,960
用這個

190
00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:52,080
-沒有
-這是快篩劑還是驗孕棒？

191
00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:55,280
壓力好大，我今早覺得噁心

192
00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:58,280
我們最好直接去診所

193
00:06:58,360 --> 00:06:59,480
讓他們幫我植入受精卵

194
00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:00,400
不要

195
00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:02,280
那樣不怎麼浪漫吧？

196
00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:03,960
你幾時在乎浪漫了？

197
00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:05,920
我不喜歡輔助生殖這回事

198
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,080
別這樣嘛
我們還能順便多存一些冷凍胚胎

199
00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:09,200
這樣想要時可以再生

200
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:12,240
我們何不繼續嘗試自然懷孕？

201
00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:14,160
再試幾個月

202
00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:16,560
幾個月？我可受不了這種壓力那麼久

203
00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:20,280
你會開始覺得自己不像女人
憂鬱、失去自尊…

204
00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:21,200
我才不要

205
00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:22,800
要是他們把胚胎搞混

206
00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:24,880
讓我們生了
住卡塞雷斯的夫妻的孩子呢？

207
00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:26,600
不會發生這種事的

208
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:27,960
他們會取我最好的卵子

209
00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:29,440
和你最好的精子

210
00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:30,520
這樣不公平

211
00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:32,120
怎麼不公平了？

212
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:34,080
他們要怎麼選出最好的？

213
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:35,440
不知道，他們有他們的…

214
00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:38,480
最棒的精子會衝進你的陰道

215
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:39,840
穿過子宮

216
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:41,760
英勇地沿著輸卵管向上爬

217
00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:42,880
讓你的卵子受精

218
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:46,080
搶在其他五千萬個
想做到同一件事的混蛋之前

219
00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:48,160
那才是我的冠軍，其他都去死

220
00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:50,680
這就是美好古老的菁英制

221
00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:53,640
男人為什麼這麼愛競爭？我不懂

222
00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:56,120
我希望我們的孩子是愛的結晶

223
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:57,640
而不是做出來的

224
00:07:57,720 --> 00:07:58,800
對吧，派翠莎？

225
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:01,160
抱歉，先生？我沒在聽

226
00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:02,840
她真是個騙子

227
00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:05,640
我還是會預約，去去無妨

228
00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:09,200
你的冠軍不必參加飢餓遊戲

229
00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:23,400
（種子，草藥鋪，香料）

230
00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:26,480
（馬鞭草）

231
00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:40,720
對，但這太…

232
00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:28,440
你還好嗎？

233
00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:30,600
這是你第一次沒盯著露西亞的屁股

234
00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:32,040
我？我什麼時候看了？

235
00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:35,800
要告訴我，我不會發現我有看
我的脖子會自己轉

236
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:37,320
你跟露絲怎樣了？

237
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:38,920
她要嫁給那老頭嗎？

238
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,520
她要開刀，但沒打給我

239
00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:42,320
為什麼要打給你？

240
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:43,760
因為我是她朋友

241
00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:46,320
你是她前男友，她不會把你當朋友的

242
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,520
這樣吧，今晚

243
00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:51,480
維多和帕布羅要慶祝離婚

244
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:54,120
你該去，那個派對會很棒

245
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:56,760
你們同性戀就知道開派對，是吧？

246
00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:58,160
不然為什麼要工作？

247
00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:04,640
奇比達，我第一隻狗

248
00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:07,000
25379…

249
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:08,800
這也不對，該死

250
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:10,720
你試幾次了？

251
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,000
十次不對就會被鎖定

252
00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:14,720
七次還八次，我還有一次機會

253
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,320
我要出去，跟11號男見面

254
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:18,480
媽，只能睡十個

255
00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:20,480
我還是忘不了他

256
00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:24,160
七巷一個漆匠西巷一個錫匠

257
00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:26,640
-那是什麼？
-你奶奶常說的繞口令

258
00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:28,720
這個當密碼很安全…

259
00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:30,160
但也不對

260
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:31,360
桑提亞哥，別試了

261
00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:34,200
-我去一下辦公室，馬上好
-現在？

262
00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:36,520
對，我的帳號大概被駭了之類的

263
00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:38,280
這沒道理

264
00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:40,400
-爸，你手機裡有什麼？
-啊？

265
00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:42,680
你想刪什麼？

266
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:46,520
愛麗絲，請尊重我的隱私

267
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,120
納喬，你怎麼還在？

268
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:55,440
你好嗎，桑提？

269
00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:57,120
客戶要我改一些東西

270
00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:58,560
竟然傍晚六點才說

271
00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:01,120
我也差不多，太離譜了

272
00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:03,040
我們跟瘋子一樣工作

273
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,040
太扯了

274
00:11:06,560 --> 00:11:07,880
（烏比庫建築工作室）

275
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,440
（歡迎回來，桑提亞哥）

276
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,760
（寶拉的影片）

277
00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:25,560
（1個檔案已下載）

278
00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:27,320
（烏比庫建築工作室）

279
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:28,960
…厲害，他是最棒的

280
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:30,360
好

281
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:32,040
嗨…

282
00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:40,360
要備份

283
00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:41,760
你刪影片了吧？

284
00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:43,880
聽我的，刪掉影片

285
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:44,840
別刪，白痴

286
00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:46,680
-請確認
-你的案子被批准了嗎？

287
00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:48,520
-桑提，聽我的
-把它刪掉

288
00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:50,440
把影片留著，他們可能會搞你

289
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:00,320
（USB裝置已連接）

290
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:02,240
（儲存副本）

291
00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:05,680
（正在儲存已下載檔案的副本）

292
00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:14,800
（資源回收桶）

293
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:17,800
好，搞定

294
00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:19,120
你做完了？

295
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:21,480
對，要求不多，就改個小地方

296
00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:24,880
滴水條的位置很煩人，但都搞定了

297
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:25,880
好，再見，加油

298
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:27,720
好，回頭見

299
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:30,360
（新檔案）

300
00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:32,240
（網路下載檔案：寶拉的影片）

301
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:33,800
…厲害，他是最棒的

302
00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:35,000
好

303
00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:37,640
嗨，我是寶拉維亞

304
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:38,640
現在超飢渴

305
00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:40,400
想跟這傢伙打炮

306
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:41,320
打個招呼吧

307
00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:43,200
嗨，大家好嗎？

308
00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:44,760
-你同意做愛嗎？
-同意

309
00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:46,640
-我同意
-是嗎？我也是

310
00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:50,160
我還要用這個合規酒測器證明我沒醉

311
00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:53,600
哈囉

312
00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:54,520
哈囉

313
00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:55,600
天啊

314
00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:57,560
你拿個同志包幹嘛？

315
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:01,960
“同志包”是個過時又恐同的詞

316
00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:04,640
抱歉，你拿男用手提包做什麼？

317
00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:07,160
這樣拿手機比較方便，你不喜歡嗎？

318
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:08,840
你看起來活像熟食店的老太太

319
00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:13,040
過來，給我一點關注

320
00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:16,760
你沒事吧？看起來壓力有點大

321
00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:18,560
不，我沒事，很正常，怎麼了嗎？

322
00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:21,680
幫我按摩，我就原諒你

323
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:30,200
我們開瓶酒吧

324
00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:33,040
-派翠…
-別喝酒了，我買了葡萄汁

325
00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:35,200
-葡萄汁？
-富含抗氧化劑

326
00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:36,760
還有糖分

327
00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:39,600
-媽的
-你們怎麼還在這裡聊天？

328
00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:41,760
怎麼不快上床去？

329
00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:47,320
“怎麼不快上床去？”

330
00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:49,320
我們得跟那女人有點界線才行

331
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,200
可憐的女孩，她只是很興奮

332
00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:54,520
不知道
我開始感受到來自大家的壓力

333
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:57,400
你怎麼穿上睡衣了？

334
00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:58,520
親愛的

335
00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:00,800
我們得禁慾二到五天

336
00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:03,720
讓我的精子恢復活力

337
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:06,240
“從月經週期的第13天開始

338
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:10,000
每天性交，會增加受精機率”

339
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:11,320
不對

340
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:13,600
研究已經證實那會減少精子數量…

341
00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:17,800
“越來越多研究建議每天性交

342
00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:20,800
因為頻繁射精能減少DNA損傷

343
00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:22,640
提升精子的品質”

344
00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:25,040
媽的，他們真該統一說法

345
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:27,720
明天中午看診的時候可以問醫生

346
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,200
明天？

347
00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:30,640
但我們要拍試播集

348
00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:32,400
佩羅，你是執行長

349
00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:34,280
別告訴我你一個小時都走不開

350
00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:36,360
好吧，我會安排

351
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:39,120
但花錢做可以免費搞定的事…

352
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:43,880
對了，官方辭典
還有收錄“同志包”這個詞

353
00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:46,160
說是“口語化的陰性名詞

354
00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:47,440
指男用手提包”

355
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:48,880
該刪除才對

356
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,120
我要上網發起請願

357
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:54,600
你的包容性快把我逼瘋了

358
00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:58,280
晚上9點28分
孩子們就洗好澡躺上床了

359
00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:01,280
烏利西斯問我舔陰是什麼

360
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:02,280
我說很晚了

361
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:03,920
你明天會跟他解釋

362
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,600
-舔陰？
-他很想知道

363
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:07,560
我在他這年紀時好像沒這樣

364
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:08,840
我想要

365
00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:11,840
-要什麼？
-先口交，然後插入

366
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:12,760
現在？

367
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:14,840
不然呢？早上五點比較好？

368
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,840
-好吧
-太爽了

369
00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:19,760
我的天啊

370
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:21,000
我們該更常打炮

371
00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:21,920
別吵醒孩子們

372
00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:28,760
你會悶死我，該死

373
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,080
完了？

374
00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:40,120
-那你呢？
-我什麼？

375
00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:41,640
你沒射

376
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:43,040
無所謂

377
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:43,960
你以前都會射的

378
00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:45,440
-今天不射
-為什麼？

379
00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:47,160
總之我真的很享受

380
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:48,200
路易斯

381
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:51,200
聽著，就是…

382
00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:54,400
我跟兄弟們打了個賭

383
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:56,520
什麼賭？

384
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:59,960
顯然禁慾能提升睪固酮濃度

385
00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:01,280
就那類的廢話

386
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:03,600
可憐的傢伙，我開始同情他了

387
00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:04,920
他掰不出別的理由

388
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,160
我把他逼到絕境了

389
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,040
但你怎麼不直接問他？

390
00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:09,200
他不會承認的

391
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:11,000
我需要證據

392
00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:11,960
還要？

393
00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:15,080
-再來一杯？
-好啊

394
00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:16,000
好

395
00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:18,080
克里斯欽，你好嗎？

396
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:20,160
我喜歡這派對

397
00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:22,600
勞爾？

398
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:24,240
你沒事吧？

399
00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:27,040
該死，別管我

400
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,880
脾氣真差

401
00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:38,960
哈囉

402
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:40,480
我是拉法，帕布羅的朋友

403
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,960
我是勞爾，迪亞哥的直男朋友

404
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:44,400
我也是直男

405
00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:45,360
在這裡要小心

406
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,160
別隨便跟人打招呼

407
00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:50,320
你一個人？

408
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:53,680
對，我要去廁所

409
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:09,880
嘿，拉法

410
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,080
你要幹嘛？

411
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:16,400
你蹲下去幹嘛？

412
00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:33,480
我完全想不起我的台詞

413
00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:35,640
這樣怎麼上台？

414
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,560
別擔心，你只是緊張

415
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,280
又沒錢拿，我幹嘛去演？

416
00:17:39,360 --> 00:17:41,320
還得自掏腰包買戲服

417
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:42,600
這是你的夢想，媽咪

418
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:43,720
為它奮鬥吧

419
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:45,360
-謝了
-“媽咪，這是你的夢想

420
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:46,520
為它奮鬥吧”

421
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:48,080
別鬧你妹了

422
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:49,920
我要遲到了，送孩子們上學吧

423
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,200
不是輪到你嗎？

424
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:52,120
孩子們

425
00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:54,600
我好高興你們會去看演出

426
00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:55,640
我要上柔道課

427
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:56,840
翹掉

428
00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:03,880
孩子們，今天下午…

429
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:05,400
-我想吃餅乾
-聽我說

430
00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:07,920
今天下午，如果不喜歡媽媽演的戲

431
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,000
你們可以跟她說

432
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:09,920
那對她有幫助

433
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,360
我以為批評是不對的

434
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:12,480
欺騙更糟

435
00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:14,200
老天，有夠複雜

436
00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:15,600
長大還真難

437
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:17,480
只會越來越難

438
00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:21,040
（駕照考試中心）

439
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:23,920
你緊張嗎？

440
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:24,960
今天比較緊張一點

441
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:25,880
很好

442
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:32,200
早安

443
00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:35,000
發動車子，開上主幹道

444
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:55,040
-停車
-搞屁啊？

445
00:18:55,120 --> 00:18:57,040
-你要打暗號啊
-你自己怎麼沒看路？

446
00:18:57,120 --> 00:18:58,880
-我有看
-才怪，你沒看

447
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,520
你又要再交一次報名費了

448
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:03,960
不是我，是我爸

449
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:08,720
早安，伊莎貝

450
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:15,920
前幾天，他問我很多她的事

451
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,600
大家好啊，你們在看什麼？

452
00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:22,600
怎麼了？我也想笑一笑

453
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:25,960
你真是個小混蛋，對吧？

454
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,080
我？但…

455
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:33,120
嗨，我是寶拉維亞，現在超飢渴…

456
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:34,880
該死，快關掉，過來

457
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:37,640
這從哪來的？

458
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:39,400
你在開玩笑嗎？

459
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:41,520
你把它上傳到共用文件夾

460
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:43,520
全公司的人都看到了

461
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:44,640
桑提亞哥

462
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,200
是，羅曼？

463
00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:52,840
羅曼，你聽完會大笑的

464
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:55,520
寶拉，正好你也在

465
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,080
你前任說得對，你是個愛報復的混蛋

466
00:19:58,160 --> 00:19:59,800
不，真的不是，我本來想…

467
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:00,880
親愛的，我來處理他

468
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:02,040
繼續說，坐下

469
00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:03,440
那是技術性問題

470
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:05,280
我發誓我刪了影片

471
00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:07,000
一定是病毒之類的搞得鬼

472
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,240
容我釐清一下

473
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:09,720
有人介紹你這裡的工作

474
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:10,840
你卻勾引我女兒

475
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:12,800
當她甩掉你，你就羞辱她

476
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:16,640
洩漏她像個廉價妓女一樣
答應提供服務的影片

477
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:18,000
爸

478
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:19,680
你有話要說嗎？

479
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:25,240
在我叫你帶著
你該死的解構辦公大樓滾蛋之前？

480
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:30,960
我自認是女人

481
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:34,800
什麼？

482
00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:36,760
沒錯

483
00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:38,760
我正在經歷非常艱辛的時期

484
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:41,960
所以我才會表現得瘋瘋癲癲，因為…

485
00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,160
我很迷惘

486
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:47,840
你理解我的，你是同性戀

487
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:04,800
還好嗎？

488
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:06,640
我要先喝咖啡

489
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:08,880
跟我說說這位拉法吧

490
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:11,280
他只是我昨晚認識的煩人精

491
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:13,040
你把他帶回家了

492
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:15,480
什麼？我沒有啊

493
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:18,480
我手機響了

494
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:27,800
（拉法來電）

495
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:31,040
為什麼我手機裡有這個人的號碼？

496
00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:33,240
他扛你上床之前存進去了

497
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:35,800
扛我上床？

498
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:37,120
你吐在他車上了

499
00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:41,880
“嗨，帥哥

500
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:43,680
下午兩點去接你”

501
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:45,240
你們要去吃午餐

502
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:46,600
你說你知道山裡有家餐廳…

503
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:49,400
不行，我要立刻封鎖他

504
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:50,320
真可憐

505
00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:52,120
他還很興奮的說

506
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:53,720
興奮什麼？

507
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,560
什麼都沒發生，他就是幫我吹…

508
00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:59,280
但你們同性戀常做那種事
也不會交換電話

509
00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:03,080
勞爾，你聽過“情感責任”的概念嗎？

510
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:04,480
迪亞哥，我是直男

511
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:06,760
又怎樣？他也是

512
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:16,520
-你好
-你好

513
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:18,600
我是露絲費雷羅
跟拉霍茲醫生約好動手術

514
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:21,680
有，查到了

515
00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:23,680
請告訴我你同伴的姓名和電話號碼

516
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,120
我一個人來

517
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:27,520
這樣啊，我需要一個電話號碼

518
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:30,360
-要做什麼？
-在手術後通知對方

519
00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:32,880
你不需要通知任何人

520
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:34,640
這是我們診所的規定

521
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:36,800
朋友或家人的電話都行

522
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:38,560
可以留我顧問的嗎？

523
00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:43,400
請進

524
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:47,800
那是你的手術服和手術帽

525
00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:49,520
請換上，很快就會有人來帶你

526
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:50,720
謝謝

527
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:53,160
-你沒進食吧？
-沒有

528
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:54,080
很好

529
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,520
手術服的開口在後面

530
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:58,240
好

531
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:22,400
以你來說，因為你沒有不孕問題

532
00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:23,960
而且相對年輕

533
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:25,320
謝謝？

534
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:26,880
過程應該會比較快

535
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:28,520
等拿到檢測結果

536
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:31,040
我們就會從你下次月經來時
開始刺激卵巢…

537
00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:33,280
但我們做過檢查了

538
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:36,800
我忘了下載應用程式

539
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:37,760
不會吧？

540
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:39,720
我現在不用紙本了

541
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:42,120
別擔心，我們這裡可以重做所有檢測

542
00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:45,480
其實現在就可以採集你的樣本

543
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,840
你多久沒射精了？

544
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:52,120
-這個嘛…
-前天以後就沒有，對吧？

545
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:53,400
沒錯，就是這樣

546
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:54,520
很好

547
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:03,080
我早餐吃得很飽，不確定會不會…

548
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:04,320
我會幫你，親愛的

549
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:06,680
不行，他必須自己進去

550
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:08,000
這樣啊

551
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:11,560
不會有問題的

552
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:16,000
這是樣本採集室

553
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:17,760
我們試著營造一種…

554
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:19,560
性暗示環境

555
00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:22,800
性慾增加會提升精液的品質

556
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:25,040
雜誌在那裡，如果要看影片，這裡有

557
00:24:25,120 --> 00:24:28,160
這裡也有人造陰道、人造嘴

558
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:30,520
如果你喜歡，還有個虛擬實境耳機

559
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:31,680
不用了，謝謝

560
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,840
建議你用肥皂和水清洗陰莖

561
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:36,560
-好
-這很重要

562
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:39,680
然後把所有精液射進容器裡

563
00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:40,600
-好
-有問題嗎？

564
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:42,440
-沒有
-很好

565
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:44,040
好了之後告訴我

566
00:24:44,120 --> 00:24:45,480
-好的
-慢慢來

567
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:48,680
-性慾增加…
-會提升精液的品質

568
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:49,920
沒錯

569
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:01,840
（草原小兄弟群組）

570
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:04,120
你在哪？

571
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:05,880
跟丹妮拉在診所

572
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:08,880
你輸了

573
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:10,560
那是診所？

574
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:12,600
怎麼會打來？需要鼓勵嗎？

575
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:14,320
我才禁慾不到24小時

576
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,160
我的精液品質會很爛

577
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:18,320
跟他們說你射不出來，你怯場了

578
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:20,080
是可以，但我該怎麼說？

579
00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:22,480
好，我們分析一下哪個比較丟臉？

580
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:24,680
是不孕還是陽痿？

581
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:35,960
我射不出來

582
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:36,960
親愛的

583
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:38,680
我在裡面無法專心

584
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:42,440
裡面有好多道具，我怯場了

585
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:44,240
放輕鬆，每個人都可能會這樣

586
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:46,440
你可以回家採集

587
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:49,440
這樣距離是不是太遠了？

588
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:51,360
我怕無法保冷

589
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:52,520
-不會
-或保溫

590
00:25:53,120 --> 00:25:54,200
什麼？不會

591
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:02,800
哈囉

592
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:04,680
嗨，拉法，你好嗎？

593
00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:07,400
給我朋友來一杯啤酒

594
00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:12,720
你睡得好嗎？

595
00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:15,160
好，拉法，聽著

596
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,400
我昨晚有點醉了

597
00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:19,880
你讓我措手不及

598
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:21,240
所以你或許…

599
00:26:22,120 --> 00:26:22,960
會錯意了

600
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:24,040
你是說廁所那件事？

601
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:26,040
你喜歡，對吧？

602
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:27,440
我覺得你喜歡

603
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:29,080
那已經無關緊要了

604
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:30,760
重點是我是直男

605
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:31,840
我也是

606
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:32,760
不，你沒那麼直

607
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:34,720
而我直到不行

608
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:37,400
還上了一門課來解構我的男子氣概

609
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:38,560
你對我說了甜言蜜語

610
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:39,880
拉法，別鬧了

611
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:41,640
你給了我一個晚安吻

612
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:43,560
你在我啤酒下藥嗎？

613
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:45,200
-你是怎樣？
-你才怎樣咧

614
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:47,560
我幫你吹的時候，你可沒抱怨這麼多

615
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:49,560
謝謝，小可愛

616
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:51,080
我不想煩你

617
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:53,640
就告訴我你還想不想約會

618
00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:55,560
我沒說過我想啊

619
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:58,080
我得計劃一下
我有兩個孩子和一個好老婆

620
00:26:58,160 --> 00:26:59,880
但你真的很讓我興奮

621
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:02,960
我是零號

622
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:04,160
聽著，你這吸屌…

623
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:09,280
我走了，我要回家了

624
00:27:09,360 --> 00:27:11,400
-勞爾
-別碰我…

625
00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:12,960
-再打給你？
-不要

626
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:24,120
我該死的良知啊
在這令人難受的汙濁世界裡

627
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:26,560
誰能不感到心煩？

628
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,400
踏上街頭

629
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:36,240
面對那群蜂擁而至、死氣沉沉的面孔

630
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:38,160
和輪廓不明的軀體時

631
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:40,360
誰能不感到一股

632
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:44,800
令人不安的作嘔和悲傷？

633
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:46,640
我沒辦法

634
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:49,280
我會吐他們口水

635
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:51,760
搧他們耳光

636
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:55,240
讓他們從那了無生氣的活體裡醒來

637
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:57,200
我剛才說“活”嗎？

638
00:27:58,560 --> 00:27:59,520
是“死”

639
00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:01,680
“死”

640
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:19,400
我們在警校演過一齣經典的…

641
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:20,320
媽咪

642
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:21,880
-嗨
-你好棒

643
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:23,120
你們喜歡嗎？

644
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:24,640
你就變了個人一樣

645
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:26,080
親愛的，好棒的讚美

646
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:27,240
有點太長了

647
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:29,320
-才12分鐘而已
-是嗎？

648
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:32,120
-媽咪，我也想當演員
-我也是

649
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:33,680
好啊，讓我們像巴登家族一樣

650
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:34,840
變成演藝世家

651
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:36,320
我以為你想當太空人

652
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:38,280
而你想當獸醫，那明明很棒啊

653
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:40,200
-隨他們去吧
-看你做的好事

654
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:41,600
別發牢騷了，我們回家吧

655
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:43,040
-先走啦
-再見

656
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:44,560
-走吧
-我要去打板網球

657
00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:45,600
現在？

658
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:46,720
晚上八點半咧

659
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:48,240
我們只能約這時間

660
00:28:57,800 --> 00:28:58,680
是這邊

661
00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:02,160
你自認是女人？

662
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:05,160
那是我腦中最先迸出的一句話

663
00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:08,080
然後我就假裝自己快暈倒，溜掉了

664
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:10,080
你覺得自己是女人嗎？

665
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:12,200
當然不是，這還用問嗎？

666
00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:14,720
-不知道
-對了，這是你的錯

667
00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:16,000
我是叫佩羅說，不是你

668
00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:17,080
確實

669
00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:18,720
但你說出來比較可信

670
00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:21,240
幹嘛那樣說？你自己說那很下流的

671
00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:23,840
還記得去就業中心的滋味嗎？
難道很開心？

672
00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:24,960
要就怪那門課程

673
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:26,080
你拿到證書了

674
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:30,120
你們公司
肯定有心理學家和專家之類的

675
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:31,760
-你那是跨性別恐懼症
-什麼…

676
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:34,800
所以怎樣？你跟老闆說了，然後呢？

677
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:36,640
不知道，他們沒有開除我

678
00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:38,440
我明天會照常上班

679
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:40,480
不，老兄，不能照常

680
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:41,920
要戴個飾品什麼的

681
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:43,600
這樣他們就不敢開除你

682
00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:46,280
現在的公司都會避免捲入這種事

683
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:48,560
桑提亞“嘉”，你這是把事情搞複雜

684
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:50,720
我們有了個跨性別成員

685
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:52,160
我們現在真是個包容的團體

686
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:54,400
該死的貴賓狗

687
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:57,200
你們超時五分鐘了，該撤了，好嗎？

688
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:25,560
嗨

689
00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:27,960
你怎麼會在這裡？

690
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:29,840
以免你想喝水

691
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:31,200
或者…

692
00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:34,560
想吃我買給你的巧克力蝴蝶酥

693
00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:36,360
這很好吃

694
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:38,280
謝謝

695
00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:47,200
我可以進來嗎？

696
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:49,400
-嗨，姊妹…
-他怎麼在？

697
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:52,040
有人告訴我她要開刀

698
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:53,840
好個大嘴巴

699
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:55,080
想去喝杯咖啡嗎？

700
00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:56,880
晚上喝咖啡？不了

701
00:30:58,120 --> 00:30:59,360
她要你讓我們單獨聊聊

702
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:01,000
她幹嘛不直說？

703
00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:05,320
你看，給你的

704
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:09,240
樓下的店只有新生兒花籃

705
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:11,080
艾絲特

706
00:31:11,920 --> 00:31:13,080
你的孩子在外面

707
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:14,240
對，進來，孩子們

708
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:17,520
-什麼孩子？
-他們真的很想來看你

709
00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:19,600
所以我要讓他們在這裡待一會

710
00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:22,120
什麼？

711
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:26,640
我上了那個打手槍夜店的網站

712
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:28,240
今天那裡有一個特別活動

713
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:31,160
他騙我要打板網球，好去幹骯髒事

714
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:32,480
但勞爾明明在這裡

715
00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:33,480
白痴才信他的話

716
00:31:33,560 --> 00:31:36,240
我得逮到他，否則我會發瘋

717
00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:37,960
艾絲特，你不能把孩子留在這裡

718
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:40,360
等那玩意沒電，伊莉絲就會照顧你

719
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:41,560
她會幫你綁辮子

720
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:42,560
你幾點回來？

721
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:44,040
艾絲特

722
00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:50,080
別調床，親愛的

723
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:00,480
天啊

724
00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:14,040
不，我只是想尿尿

725
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:16,240
媽的

726
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:23,240
不好意思

727
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:24,960
能幫我找裡面有沒有這個人嗎？

728
00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:27,240
好吧，謝謝

729
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:28,320
媽的

730
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:38,920
你有在裡面看到這個人嗎？

731
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:40,520
-他禿頭…
-抱歉，我趕時間

732
00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:41,880
好吧，再見

733
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:43,240
噁心

734
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:50,120
不好意思，你能幫我嗎？

735
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:51,040
沒問題

736
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:54,280
我想知道照片裡這個人有沒有在裡面

737
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:56,440
我今天沒看到他

738
00:32:57,360 --> 00:32:59,520
什麼叫今天沒看到？

739
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:00,560
你之前見過他？

740
00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:02,480
他上週好像射在我身上了

741
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:05,000
他什麼？

742
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:06,480
他是很好的人

743
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:08,320
好人一個

744
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:27,240
你去哪了？

745
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:29,920
路易斯

746
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:33,240
你是同性戀嗎？

747
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:34,560
又來了？

748
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:36,640
別裝傻，有人在那間夜店看到你了

749
00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:37,640
看到我？

750
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:39,920
但我只去過一次

751
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:40,880
你去過？

752
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:42,600
對…不，我們沒進去

753
00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:43,880
路易斯，別騙我

754
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:46,800
我給一個人看你的照片，他認出了你

755
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:48,240
-什麼？
-你還對著他…

756
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:49,720
我說不出口

757
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:52,240
你拿我照片給馬德里
所有好奇型雙性戀男人看？

758
00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:54,640
少修飾了，就是同性戀
那是同性戀夜店

759
00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:56,760
那玩意之前就在你的褲子口袋裡

760
00:33:56,840 --> 00:33:57,760
是勞爾帶我們去的

761
00:33:57,840 --> 00:33:59,200
勞爾？拜託

762
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:00,880
如果桑提還有可能，但勞爾…

763
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:03,640
他交了一些對他洗腦的新朋友

764
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:06,080
真噁心，我昨天還幫你吹了呢

765
00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:08,320
艾絲特，我不是同性戀，老天

766
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:10,360
如果你不是，你就是在搞怪

767
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:11,560
那課程真該死

768
00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:21,200
喂，孩子們呢？

769
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:29,680
還說我搞怪

770
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:45,120
老哥，好久不見

771
00:34:45,720 --> 00:34:47,160
你還是老樣子，混蛋

772
00:34:47,240 --> 00:34:48,960
你好嗎，費德？

773
00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:50,680
老實說，都差不多

774
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:54,840
老媽說你會打來說要幫我

775
00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:56,360
但我還在等

776
00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:57,680
好，所以…

777
00:34:57,760 --> 00:34:59,480
幫你出勒戒費不算幫？

778
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:00,720
當然算

779
00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:01,920
但…

780
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,640
你可以幫我找個好工作

781
00:35:04,720 --> 00:35:06,440
我一個月賺三千就很好過了

782
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:08,640
-你完全戒了嗎？還是…
-當然

783
00:35:08,720 --> 00:35:10,760
我每天早上都去慢跑

784
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:11,880
還領養了一隻狗

785
00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:14,160
我現在生活得很正常，很無聊

786
00:35:14,720 --> 00:35:16,360
我基本上融入社會了

787
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:19,640
太好了，恭喜

788
00:35:19,720 --> 00:35:21,000
你找我什麼事？

789
00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:22,280
你得癌症了嗎？

790
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:24,400
還沒，別緊張

791
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:25,360
聽著…

792
00:35:26,240 --> 00:35:27,960
別被我的問題嚇到

793
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:30,000
說吧

794
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:36,160
你的精液品質怎麼樣？

795
00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:21,120
字幕翻譯：Jiin-Yu Lin