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A NETFLIX SERIES
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CHANNEL 99
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All right, you have to sign right here
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and here and right here.
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We've given you everything
that you're entitled to.
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How nice of you, complying with the law.
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Do you need anything else?
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My whiteboard.
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Pedro, I don't know
why you were fired, but you--
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The glass ceiling shattered
and fell on top of me.
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Okay, I just wanted
to tell you that I admire you.
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I think you're an amazing guy.
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Gee, thanks.
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I agree with you.
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Would you be interested
in joining my team?
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As assistant manager?
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Do you really think
I'd put my brilliance
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at the service of an opportunist
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who was handpicked as some
kind of feminist affirmative action?
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Hmm. It's not my fault
that things are changing, Pedro.
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You sure?
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They pay you to think up idiotic shows
that will get high ratings
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so they can advertise hair products,
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creams for antiaging,
cereals with whole grains
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and other mass-produced pieces of garbage
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to all these silly little women
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who've bought into
the hyped-up empowerment bullshit.
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And who pays you?
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A crazy old man.
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Sorry, honey, but you're
just another pawn of the patriarchy.
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And you're a bastard.
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Dumb pawn.
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Uh, hey, what are you doing with my phone?
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Shh! I'm shipping you.
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-Shi-- what?
-Getting you a date.
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No, no, no, no. No more dates.
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-Really, I'm not going on another.
-Relax, the same woman.
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-Who, Ángeles?
-Mm-hmm.
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But I slammed the door in her face.
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Yeah, that's why I had
to work on an apology.
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She'll be your body number one.
Would nine o'clock work?
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My body number one?
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You have to erase Mom
from your body's memory.
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And for that,
you gotta sleep with ten women.
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-With ten?
-Mm-hmm.
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With ten! Where the hell
did you get that crazy idea?
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-I'm sending you the link.
-But what?
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This is all nonsense,
seriously.
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Uh, first off, I don't need
to erase anything about your mom, okay?
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She's been completely erased by now.
Did it on her own.
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You're lying.
You have to take the test at the end.
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And I actually like being a bachelor.
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What test?
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Hey, Dad, why even get up in the morning?
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You're like the living dead.
You've given up.
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I need a good role model.
Someone to look up to.
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But ten women's too much.
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Really, I've only been
with four or five in total.
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Everything moves quicker now.
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Dad, YOLO!
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YOLO?
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You only live once.
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HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN YOUR EX?
WHO ENDED THE RELATIONSHIP?
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SHE DID. I DIDN'T EXPECT IT AT ALL
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Hmm.
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I just don't-- don't understand it.
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I don't see the need for it at all.
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All right, we'll just carry on
like everyone else then.
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Mm-hmm.
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And we'll just let this hang
over us until we become distant.
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Yeah, like every other damn couple.
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It doesn't matter. Forget it.
You're just not emotionally ready now.
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-I've lived more than you.
-Hey!
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Hey, cool it, Obi-Wan, okay?
I've been around the block.
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I mean… I-- I've seen some crazy--
wow, crazy stuff.
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It's very difficult to find people
who are mature and sure of themselves.
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-You think I'm immature?
-You're scared shitless.
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Scared of what?
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Admit it, darling.
You couldn't handle an open relationship.
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I mean, come on. Can you really
see me doing stuff with another girl?
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Yeah, why not?
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Yeah, with some young 20-something girl
with perky tits and a tight ass,
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both of us bare naked,
writhing in bed, sweating it out, huh?
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-Is that a yes?
-No, don't put words in my mouth.
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Oh, because I was getting
all horny listening to that.
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-We'll talk it through.
-What is there to talk about?
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I'm going. I'm late already.
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I said no, okay?
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I made coffee, and I just went
and bought some fresh croissants.
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-Don't buy me this junk. I'll eat it all.
-Wanna go out tonight?
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Mmm! Let's save money
and have dinner here.
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I bought these vegan hamburgers that'll
make you forget about steak forever.
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Save for what?
I'm sure they'll start fighting over me.
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Enjoy your freedom.
Come on and reinvent yourself.
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Didn't you always say
you never had time for anything? Hmm.
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Read, hang out with your buddies, hmm.
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Install the new kitchen faucet.
I don't know, live a little.
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What? Faucet?
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Ta-da! This faucet.
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What's wrong with the one we've got?
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This one's like those industrial ones.
It stretches like a garden hose.
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Good morning.
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-Good morning, Patri.
-She doesn't know, hmm?
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Hmm, there's no need to tell her.
She may quit.
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Wanna spend the day together
and go shopping?
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Oh, more spending.
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Well, we could just walk
and hold hands. That's free.
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Hmm. I'm meeting Cynthia. She was gifted
a beauty treatment and invited me along.
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-How nice of your sister, the influencer.
-Hmm.
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-Content creator. Thank you.
-All right.
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-Are you off today, sir?
-Taking a sick day.
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Ah. Enjoy it, you work so hard, sir.
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Yeah.
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Okay, when would you say that
your sex problems first arose?
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You said we were going out
to buy a new coffee maker.
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Our sex life was washed away
a long time ago by two tsunamis.
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Iris and Ulises, our two children.
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The one with the pods.
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And he has the sex drive of a plant.
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It's 'cause she wants it when I'm tired.
I'm under a lot of stress.
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-I'm a police officer.
-Local.
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Jaywalking,
public drinking, parking violations.
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And she's a driving instructor,
which is a whole lot more exciting.
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Okay, I'm gonna stop you there.
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First and foremost, no personal attacks.
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Remember that you're on the same team.
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Like many couples,
you have a communication problem.
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My first recommendation is that you talk.
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Well, we do talk.
It's the only thing we do.
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There's a lot of social pressure
about how much sex a couple should have,
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but the important thing is quality.
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And for that, it's important to talk.
To talk about sex without fear.
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About each other's tastes,
about what it is you miss.
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Well, fucking.
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I had a patient
who was strongly feminist,
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and she was mortified when she was
turned on by being called a slut in bed.
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If it turns you on,
what's the problem with your partner
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calling you a "slut"?
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None at all. If she likes it.
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You'd be surprised
by how many men who are hetero
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would like to be fingered
in the anus by their partner.
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But they don't dare to ask.
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-Would you like me to finger you in your…
-No, not really, no.
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Hmm.
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Is that something you'd like?
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Well, like to, no, but…
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You see that? You're talking now.
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Oh, my God! Patricia, excuse me.
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Sorry, need to come in here?
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No, no, no, no. Go on, go on.
There is more bathrooms.
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RELIGION FOR SHEEP
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-Oh, I didn't know you were here.
-No problem.
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Keep on vacuuming. I'll read upstairs.
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Motherfucker.
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Friends, the next step is very easy.
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Now that we've finished
installing the faucet,
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let's check the connection with the valve
that supplies water to the faucet.
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It's very easy.
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All done.
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And as you can see, it works perfectly.
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There's no water coming out.
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No leaks at all, no drips.
In short, no issues at all.
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-Shut up, asshole.
-Are you okay, sir?
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Do you need any help?
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This damn faucet
doesn't work at all.
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Oh, I'll take care of it. Don't worry.
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Oh, so you know how to fix a faucet.
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This is the first time it's happened.
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And it had to be me?
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Do you, I don't know, wanna try it again?
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Sweetie, if I want bad sex,
I already have my husband.
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Seventeen years.
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SWINGING
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Seventeen years of happiness.
And suddenly, she's a different person.
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It's like she's transformed into my enemy.
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There's like, I don't know,
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all this silence at home,
all this tension.
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Um, hello.
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Yes. Ah, yes, sorry, Jesús.
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I'm just taking some notes
for the lawsuit.
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Okay, on her phone,
I saw the list of calls,
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and I saw she'd called her cousin Almudena
160 times in a month.
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-I didn't believe it.
-Mm-hmm.
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Plus, I have her number,
and it's different. Ha!
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She made such a scene.
She said it was invasion of her privacy.
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You bitch, you're the one cheating on me.
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-Of course. Uh-huh.
-Sure.
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-Excuse me.
-Hmm.
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Tell me.
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What are you doing?
I've missed you.
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Working now. You all right?
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Yes, yes.
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You like me calling you out
of the blue like this?
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-Hey, I've gotta go. I'm with a client.
-With a client?
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Like, at the office or--
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-Uh, uh, Luz.
-I assume you've paid for the hotel?
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-Thank you.
-All right.
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00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:50,400
Well, then what happened to you, buddy?
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-I think I pulled a muscle in my back.
-What's up, you guys?
200
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Where you been, macho man?
201
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Uh, sorting out some business.
Where's Duna?
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00:09:57,160 --> 00:10:00,760
Picking her kid up, he's sick. Go on,
serve your friends and your parents.
203
00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:03,800
But make sure to charge them though.
I know you.
204
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:07,840
Hey.
205
00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:11,480
-How are you, sweetie? Mmm! Mmm!
-What are you doing here?
206
00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:14,680
-We've started going on morning walks.
-I'm a guy who needs incentives, my boy.
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00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:15,800
Ah!
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Look what I brought you.
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Mama, I really don't need any food.
I own a restaurant.
210
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Well, then why don't you just share them
with the boys?
211
00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:24,720
Hi, guys. Empanadas with tuna.
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00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:26,200
-Thank you.
-Bravo!
213
00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:29,840
Oh, hurry, warm these up.
In the oven, don't nuke them.
214
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,480
Come on, please, I gotta work now.
215
00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:33,800
But we came to see you.
You never come see us.
216
00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:35,520
Okay, Dad, I've been busy for a while.
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Come here, give it to me, you ingrate.
Thanks, Pili.
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They're tuna.
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Have you seen your mom's ass
in those?
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She's got the ass of a goddess.
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Dad, come on. Get out.
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-I love you.
-See you later.
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Mmm!
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Hey, your parents are proof
that happy marriages do exist.
225
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Look at 'em. I like that.
226
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:54,360
Damn, yeah, that's true.
227
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A different generation. Doesn't count.
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-Of course they count. They count more.
-No, they don't count.
229
00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:00,640
What are you up to tonight?
Wanna go get drinks?
230
00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:01,560
No, I can't.
231
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:03,560
-Me neither.
-I have a date with Ángeles.
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From Tinder? You're back for more?
233
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:08,520
Oh, no,
Álex convinced her to see me again.
234
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,080
Oh, Álex got you another date.
235
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:11,880
-She worries about me. The poor thing.
-Yeah.
236
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:15,640
Yeah, or she wants to turn your place
into a love shack, you know.
237
00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:17,840
You're such pig. She's only 16 years old.
238
00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:20,680
-She gets laid more than you.
-Well, that's not so hard.
239
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,880
No, my kid doesn't think like you,
you perverts.
240
00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:25,840
Come on, Santi, accept it.
Álex is messing around. No big deal.
241
00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:27,160
Don't say that. My God!
242
00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:29,560
-She is. She's already punched the V card.
-God damn.
243
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:31,680
Stuffed the turkey, popped the cherry.
244
00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:33,240
Plugged in the pen drive.
245
00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:39,160
-Um…
-You're really so disgusting.
246
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:40,400
You all are a bunch of sickos.
247
00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:42,280
You know that? Every one of you is.
248
00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:45,200
-Hey, she's gonna do a little banging.
-Like I said, sick.
249
00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:47,560
Oh!
250
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:50,800
LORETO'S DRIVING SCHOOL
251
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,800
Garage number 11, opening up.
252
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,760
Thank you, you're very kind.
253
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,560
Let's go.
254
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,280
Hope nobody sees us.
I can't believe we're doing this.
255
00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:04,040
Straight from the garage to the bedroom.
256
00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:06,000
It's so sad coming here with your husband.
257
00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:08,760
-Didn't you want some privacy?
-Yes, I know, but this is so sad.
258
00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:10,320
A bit.
259
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:11,720
Hey, we can always turn around.
260
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:14,640
No way. Your mom's watching the kids
for once. Come on, let's do it.
261
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:17,040
All right,
the therapist said we should talk.
262
00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:19,240
-Correct.
-About sex.
263
00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:20,640
Well, let's talk about sex then.
264
00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:24,040
All right. Uh, okay,
but don't take things the wrong way.
265
00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:25,480
-No, no, go on.
-Okay.
266
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:29,520
Do you have any sexual urges
throughout the day?
267
00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:32,520
I mean,
okay, I'll just-- I'll kick things off.
268
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:34,320
Do you masturbate?
269
00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:35,560
I jerk off constantly, Esther.
270
00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:36,720
Where at?
271
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,880
I don't know, shower, work, anywhere.
272
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:41,000
-At work?
-Mm-hmm. In the patrol car.
273
00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:44,040
When, uh, Julián goes for coffee, I do it.
274
00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:46,600
Um, eww, that's so disgusting.
275
00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:47,680
Well, you asked.
276
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:49,880
Okay, what do you think of when you…
277
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:51,320
-I think of you.
-Luis.
278
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:52,680
And who do you think about?
279
00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:54,400
Well, I think about other guys.
280
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:56,320
But now I'll start thinking
about you.
281
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:57,640
You can be my new fantasy.
282
00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,360
Oh, okay, okay. Well, I don't mind.
283
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:02,080
-You like that I think of others?
-Why would I like that?
284
00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:03,160
Some people like that.
285
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,000
Would you like it
if I thought about others?
286
00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:06,560
Why are you asking the same things?
287
00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:07,920
Don't know. It came to mind now.
288
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:11,080
Luis, I need you
to take more initiative, okay?
289
00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:13,720
I mean, when you feel horny, come find me.
290
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,800
If I'm in the kitchen, we'll do it there.
291
00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:17,040
And the kids?
292
00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:20,000
The kids need new hobbies.
They spend too much time at home, dear.
293
00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:22,320
Yeah, but we've got two,
and hobbies are expensive.
294
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:25,720
Look, really, this doesn't--
it doesn't make any sense at all.
295
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:28,160
I'm like-- like naked here,
right here at a hotel.
296
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,440
We came here to fuck,
and I'm not even horny.
297
00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:32,880
No, me either,
because you're telling me off.
298
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:39,040
Should we go in the pool?
299
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:43,720
No way. I'm not going in there.
300
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,840
Honest, I couldn't
be bothered to go out with you again,
301
00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:55,920
but you really amused me
with your groveling.
302
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,040
-Yeah. I was very insistent, huh?
-Hmm.
303
00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:00,160
I'm not normally that annoying.
304
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:03,440
I said to myself, "Fuck,
I must really turn him on."
305
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:06,200
But let me tell you,
having your self-esteem boosted at my age,
306
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,080
well, it really feels so great.
307
00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:09,360
Yeah, well, good to hear.
308
00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:12,280
Uh, because you know, that isn't--
that's really not my style.
309
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:13,520
It isn't. Seriously.
310
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:16,520
So, Santi, tell me about you.
What are you looking for exactly?
311
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:20,800
Uh, well, well, I…
312
00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:21,880
-I was married.
-Oh.
313
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:23,120
But she's dead now.
314
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,160
-Oof!
-She died in a car accident.
315
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,720
-She crashed head-on into a bus.
-Oof!
316
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,160
School bus.
No kids were hurt. Oof, you know.
317
00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:32,120
But anyway, must've seen it on the news.
318
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,120
-It was a big tragedy.
-Mnh-mnh.
319
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,280
No, actually,
it wasn't on the news after all.
320
00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:39,720
It wasn't on it
because there was an attack,
321
00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:42,400
an important vote or something.
I don't know. Pandemic.
322
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:45,520
Something happened that day
and took the spotlight off of it. Yeah.
323
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,880
Yeah. I'm sorry. How hard.
324
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:49,360
She can really be a bitch. Karma.
325
00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:50,800
Oh.
326
00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:53,760
Um, got any kids?
327
00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:56,840
Uh, yes, a daughter.
She's, uh, 16 years old.
328
00:14:56,920 --> 00:15:00,120
But you know, I barely see her.
She has a life of her own and…
329
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:04,480
Mm, yeah. We both know that, right?
You know, kids at that age.
330
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:06,840
And what are they like?
331
00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:08,120
They're a different generation.
332
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,120
They're much more grown-up
than we were back then.
333
00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:12,800
More grown-up, what do you mean by that?
334
00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:15,760
Look, Santi,
I lost my virginity when I was 22,
335
00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:18,880
and these little pricks are
having orgies when they're 15 years old.
336
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,120
-Orgies?
-Hmm.
337
00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:23,240
Orgies.
338
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:25,840
They see sex in a different way
is what I mean.
339
00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:29,240
But, listen, I do think
it's a very healthy thing, right?
340
00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:30,240
Your table is ready.
341
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,880
-Okay. Ángeles, I gotta go.
-What?
342
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:35,240
Yes, uh, nice seeing you.
I had such a great time,
343
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:38,360
but I've just gotta-- I have an emergency,
and I'm sorry. I gotta go.
344
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:41,200
You're fucking kidding, right? Santi!
345
00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:46,280
What's going on? What's going on?
346
00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:48,760
-Holy shit, Dad. What's wrong, hmm?
-Let's see.
347
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,600
No, just…
348
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:54,560
I heard-- I heard a weird noise,
and I was worried about you, you know.
349
00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:56,040
And your date?
350
00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:57,880
She-- she had to leave.
351
00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:00,200
-She had a headache.
-You talked about Mom, didn't--
352
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:01,360
What smells so weird?
353
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,360
-You feel okay?
-Of course.
354
00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:18,360
-What's this, huh?
-Homework.
355
00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:23,600
I'm so very proud of you, you know.
356
00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:26,240
Keep studying.
Study hard, honey, study hard.
357
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,160
God damn it.
358
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:41,400
POSTS
359
00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:42,440
Hello!
360
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:45,720
I'm here in this big house,
seeing my sister.
361
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:48,840
Well, well,
and who do we have here in the kitchen?
362
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:51,400
It's my bro-in-law.
He's made dinner for us.
363
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:52,320
Don't film me.
364
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:55,000
Well, he's in a bad mood
because he got fired from work.
365
00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:57,960
-So you told her?
-Cynthia, not now.
366
00:16:58,040 --> 00:16:59,720
Relax, I'll edit it out. It's not live.
367
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:01,960
-Mmm!
-What happened to your face?
368
00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:04,400
Mm. It's a bit swollen from the treatment.
369
00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:06,560
Yes, but you're gonna love it.
Tomorrow, baby face.
370
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:09,880
Hey, let me know about Tenerife
'cause I gotta give an answer.
371
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:11,520
-Mm.
-Are you coming with me?
372
00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:12,640
What's this about Tenerife?
373
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:15,200
She's invited to stay at this hotel
this weekend. We can come.
374
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:17,960
-You up for it? There's a spa.
-We'll think about it.
375
00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:20,000
-Now that you have time.
-Why did they fire you?
376
00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:24,120
Are you going to stay here for dinner,
or are you leaving?
377
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:25,120
Oh.
378
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,560
She'll go. She'll go. She'll go. Come on.
379
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:31,040
I mean, who's gonna hire him
now because of his old age?
380
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:35,320
-Love you.
-Love you more.
381
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:36,960
Honey, I'm here.
382
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:38,640
-Hello.
-Mmm!
383
00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:41,160
What's this?
384
00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:42,240
Open it.
385
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:52,280
"Spreading the Love,
a Guide to Open Relationships."
386
00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:53,200
-Mm-hmm.
Hmm.
387
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:56,400
Look here. This is my favorite one.
"Instinctive Promiscuity."
388
00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:58,440
-The possibilities are endless.
-Hmm.
389
00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:01,040
An emotionally polyamorous couple
390
00:18:01,120 --> 00:18:04,880
or sexually polyamorous
or romantic anarchists, poly-fidelity…
391
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,560
I want you to meet my parents.
392
00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:09,680
What? Isn't it a bit soon?
393
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:10,600
What do you mean?
394
00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:13,200
We've been dating for three years.
I think it's about time.
395
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:17,400
Yes. Well, I-- okay, at the right moment.
396
00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:20,440
Look here. "Basic rules."
397
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:23,240
"One. Start with a solid relationship."
398
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:25,760
"Two. Avoid being jealous."
399
00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:27,440
That's something we'll need to work on.
400
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,480
Wanna have dinner with them tomorrow?
401
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:32,400
Oh, but tomorrow I wanted to take you
to this place that's amazing.
402
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:35,440
Didn't you say that to have an open
relationship things gotta be solid?
403
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:36,920
Yeah.
404
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,560
A relationship isn't solid
until your girlfriend bites the bullet
405
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,960
and meets her in-laws. It's the way it is.
406
00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:46,840
Okay, well, let's see them tomorrow.
407
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:48,920
But make it early, okay? I have work.
408
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,200
You'll love them. Ha!
409
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:24,800
Good morning, my little slut.
410
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:28,240
Look what I've got.
411
00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:29,880
All for you.
412
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:37,800
-What are you doing?
-Huh?
413
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:41,400
What the hell!
414
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:55,120
9,112 VIEWS
415
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:56,440
"Starting out my day."
416
00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:01,240
Oh, God, sweet Jesus.
417
00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:03,240
No, no, no, hang on!
Stop, stop, stop, stop!
418
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:25,480
Phone higher.
419
00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:26,880
You'll give me a double chin, no.
420
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:29,000
Your legs look longer,
because of the perspective.
421
00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:32,760
-Can you see the brand though?
-Yes, yes. Perfect.
422
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:35,520
You getting paid to promote that?
423
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,520
Not yet, no. Not yet.
424
00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:41,120
Wait, Patri.
I'm gonna get changed, okay? Ow!
425
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,480
Hmm.
426
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:47,520
Not working today either, sir?
427
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:51,520
No, uh, I took the week off, actually.
428
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:54,120
Oh, how nice. You work so hard.
429
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,560
Hey, why are you making
the maid take photos?
430
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:07,640
A photographer costs a lot, you know.
431
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:09,600
Look, honey, what am I here for?
432
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:11,320
You serious?
433
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:15,960
Jesus! Careful.
You'll get yourself killed.
434
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:18,960
Try to look out for cars.
435
00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:22,880
Good.
436
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:24,600
How's that? A bit closer.
437
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:27,880
-Try turning.
-Good. Come on, one more.
438
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:33,840
Come on, I mean,
we're not 15 years old anymore.
439
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:37,560
No, no, sir. This way, please.
Great. Yes, thank you.
440
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:40,120
Yeah, excellent angle. That's good.
441
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,120
Oh! Oops, sorry. Sorry.
442
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,320
That's it.
443
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,440
Right there. Yeah, that's amazing!
444
00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:55,120
Hey, you!
Can't you see we're recording right now?
445
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:56,520
-Come on, knock it off.
-Excuse me.
446
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:59,000
-I asked you to-- come on!
-Calm down. Whoa!
447
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:03,800
But she said take the initiative.
448
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:05,640
-Literally.
-And I was still sleeping.
449
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,120
-That's a kind of rape.
-Wow.
450
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,720
You said, "If you're hard, go for it."
Isn't that what you said?
451
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:11,040
Sex is more beautiful
452
00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:13,560
if your partner is also conscious
during the act though.
453
00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:14,560
Mm-hmm.
454
00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:19,240
Then in 24 hours,
I've gone from asexual to rapist.
455
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:20,160
I just don't get it.
456
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:21,480
Well, it's not that difficult.
457
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:23,520
You could say good morning first.
Be polite.
458
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:25,760
-I said, "Good morning, you little slut."
-Little slut?
459
00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:27,160
"Look what I've got for you."
460
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:30,080
Look, if I don't respond,
it's because I didn't hear you, hmm?
461
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:32,000
You could also make me coffee,
to wake me up.
462
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,640
Well, how long do you think
an erection lasts at my age?
463
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:35,800
I don't know. You tell me.
464
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:39,200
I don't know. I-- I give up.
I'm just-- I'm just so lost right now.
465
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,640
You really fucked my date up.
Thanks, guys.
466
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:47,920
I hurried home in terror,
467
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,600
and Álex was sitting there studying,
like an angel.
468
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:53,680
Okay, she heard you arrive,
and the boyfriend jumped out the window.
469
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:56,000
We live on the fifth floor.
What is he, Batman?
470
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,320
Ah, don't worry,
just go out again with Ángeles.
471
00:22:58,400 --> 00:22:59,840
With Ángeles? No. No, no, guys.
472
00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:01,840
It's the second time
I've ditched her, poor thing.
473
00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:03,400
No fixing that.
474
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:06,280
Who is that? Ángeles?
475
00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:08,080
-Pick it up.
-No, no, no, no, no.
476
00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:09,040
You should answer it.
477
00:23:09,120 --> 00:23:10,720
Turn the speaker on. Turn the--
478
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:12,360
I don't want to, damn it!
479
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:14,040
Ángeles! Ángeles. Hello!
480
00:23:14,120 --> 00:23:16,520
I-- I-- I'm-- I'm sor--
481
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,880
I'm very sorry
about the other day, really.
482
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:22,160
Look, I-- I--
I have to tell you that I have this tick.
483
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:25,840
And I have to check the gas stove,
and I got all anxious about that.
484
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:28,480
The truth is that I just couldn't…
485
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:30,760
What?
486
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:35,200
-What?
-Uh, okay, perfect. Yes.
487
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:37,400
Well, send me your address.
488
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:39,000
Got it, yes.
489
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:40,560
Okay, wonderful.
490
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:43,880
Okay, okay, okay.
See you soon. See you soon.
491
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:44,800
And?
492
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:48,360
She-- she said I should come over
and stop playing games.
493
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:49,640
-Hell yeah!
-Santi!
494
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:51,280
They're gonna fix your phimosis.
495
00:23:51,360 --> 00:23:52,800
Hey, come on, please, stop, stop.
496
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:55,000
Are you all gonna freak out
every time I go on a date?
497
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:56,080
Yeah.
498
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:02,080
What should we do? We could hit the town.
499
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:05,520
Uh, no, no, today's impossible.
Got this thing at home that…
500
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,560
I'm going to dinner with Luz.
I'm introducing her to my parents.
501
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:15,200
What?
502
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:21,880
They've been married for 44 years.
503
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:25,080
Forty-four years.
Ha! Easier said than done.
504
00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:26,480
And they're still happy.
505
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:28,960
They even still have sex.
Can you believe it?
506
00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:30,400
Thank you for the info.
507
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:32,280
Mom!
508
00:24:32,360 --> 00:24:34,840
Sweetheart! Ramón, it's our boy.
509
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:37,160
How were the empanadas? They were tuna.
510
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:38,520
Yes, uh, delicious.
511
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:41,800
Hey, I'm gonna come over for dinner
to introduce you to Luz.
512
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:43,520
-Which Luz?
-His girlfriend.
513
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:45,760
-Oh, Sol?
-That was a different one.
514
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:48,600
-There in half an hour.
-Oh, today? No! No, no, no, no, no.
515
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:50,520
-We-- we can't today.
-Why not?
516
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:53,640
-Mama.
-We're going to a concert.
517
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:55,440
We're going with Aunt Alicia
and Uncle Javier
518
00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:56,840
to the National Auditorium.
519
00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:58,600
But since
when do you like classical music?
520
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:00,480
Hang up, Pili. We'll be late.
521
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:02,840
This Sunday.
Come on Sunday for stew.
522
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:04,920
Kisses, sweetie-pie. I love you.
523
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:08,360
What? We're not going, huh?
524
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:11,440
-They're going to a concert.
-Why didn't you ask them before?
525
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:14,080
I never schedule with my parents.
They're always home.
526
00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:16,640
Let's go. We should get a drink now.
527
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:19,360
But you-- hey, what a beautiful marriage
they've got, huh?
528
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:21,440
-Uh-huh.
-They even go out to concerts and stuff.
529
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:22,440
Forty-four years.
530
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:25,480
-I know.
-And they hold hands in public.
531
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:28,680
Tricolor quinoa with mixed vegetables,
532
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:30,440
a stew with seitan protein
533
00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:33,560
and eggplant pâté with crudités.
534
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:37,000
And for our drink, kombucha.
535
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:39,760
Let's see. That's it. Ginger, my favorite.
536
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:43,800
This is all accompanied
by this marvelous cardboard flatbread,
537
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:45,360
which is so good.
538
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:48,280
Well, at least it's edible.
539
00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:51,960
Look, really, if you don't like it,
use it to fix a wonky table instead.
540
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:53,840
I don't know who makes this bread.
541
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:57,640
However, since they're in Germany,
they won't find out.
542
00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:01,040
Mm. I've gotta go.
My boyfriend is giving me the look.
543
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:02,720
Bye.
544
00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:05,520
-Mmm.
-We having this for dinner?
545
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:06,880
Or was it just for the video?
546
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,160
Patri made it for us with all her love.
547
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:10,800
I've worn her out reading vegan recipes.
548
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:14,120
Poor little thing.
549
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:19,080
Hey, weren't you going out
with your friends now?
550
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,520
People say that work absorbs you,
but that's a lie.
551
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:23,080
It's life that absorbs you.
552
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:25,320
-What?
-Everyone has their families now.
553
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:28,080
Nothing's like it was before,
when we did what we wanted.
554
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:30,840
Growing old really sucks.
555
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:33,440
Honey, I think you're in shock.
556
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:34,920
Don't overthink it all.
557
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:37,840
This one's so good. I love it.
558
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:42,640
Hey,
why are you always on your toes?
559
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:44,520
It makes my legs look skinny.
560
00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:47,600
-Wow!
-And why are you laughing at the sky?
561
00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:50,280
Well, I'm quickly getting more
and more followers, smart-ass.
562
00:26:50,360 --> 00:26:52,800
People love my style. Is that a problem?
563
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:55,880
No, not at all.
As long as you're entertained.
564
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:11,960
Ángeles, your date's here.
565
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:15,120
How are you?
566
00:27:17,120 --> 00:27:19,760
Uh, that's your mother, huh? Uh--
567
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:23,440
What's your problem, huh?
568
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:25,640
-Do you like teasing me or what?
-Uh, mm--
569
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:31,040
Hey, wait, wait, wait!
570
00:27:31,120 --> 00:27:33,600
Uh, it's just
I haven't been honest with you.
571
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:36,400
What? You're married, huh?
Look, I don't care
572
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:39,200
No, no, no, no, no. I'm divorced now,
but my ex isn't really dead.
573
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:40,920
Okay, relax. She'll die sooner or later.
574
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:42,320
No, no, no. Let me say something.
575
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:44,840
Uh, so we split up three years ago.
576
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:46,320
-Because she cheated on me.
-Hmm.
577
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:48,760
I forgave her,
but she moved in with the other guy.
578
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:50,840
And even though
I truly hate her with all my soul,
579
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:54,640
every single day I hope she'll crawl back
and beg me to forgive her,
580
00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:58,120
because the saddest thing of all
is that I'm still in love with her.
581
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,840
And, hmm, how does that affect us two?
582
00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:03,600
Hmm. I don't know.
What are you looking for?
583
00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:06,640
-An orgasm.
-Well, then that doesn't affect us.
584
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:17,920
Oh! Hang on. Hang on, hot shot.
Why are you in such a hurry?
585
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:19,640
-Eh?
-I'm gonna need some lube.
586
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:21,520
I think it's on my nightstand.
587
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:23,400
Oh, okay.
588
00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:26,480
Oh, hurry up, for God's sake!
I want you in me!
589
00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:28,600
Got it.
590
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:29,800
Rub it on me, could you?
591
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:32,560
Uh, yes, sure.
592
00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:35,320
Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
593
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:40,760
-Ah, now! Ah, now! Do it now!
-Yeah, now?
594
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:44,680
-Oh! Ow! No! Stop, stop, stop!
-What?
595
00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:46,960
-Oh! It stings. Oh! It stings. It stings!
-What?
596
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:49,080
-It's burning me! It's stinging!
-All right.
597
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:50,840
Oh, my God, fuck you.
598
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:52,760
Ah! Oh, holy shit, holy shit!
599
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:01,600
MOISTURIZING CREAM FOR DRY FEET
600
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:02,960
LUBRICANT
601
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:06,120
No fucking way. Oh.
602
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:09,720
Fuck me! A 30-euro cover charge.
Is dinner included or what?
603
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:12,600
Hello. Two gin and tonics, please.
604
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:16,120
Let's see. As you seem a bit unsure,
605
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:20,200
I thought it'd be good for us to debut
our new relationship in the public arena,
606
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:21,280
the two of us.
607
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:24,000
Let's have a drink, see what happens.
And listen--
608
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:26,240
Wait a minute, wait.
Where have you brought me, Luz?
609
00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:28,040
This is a swingers' club, darling.
610
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:29,240
-Swingers?
-Yes.
611
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:32,560
-Hey, there, son.
-What are you doing here?
612
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:33,840
Is this your girlfriend?
613
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:36,000
Yes, Luz. Uh, hi, there.
614
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:38,560
I'm making you a stew on Sunday.
That sounds good, huh?
615
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:41,040
-Yes, very much.
-Her stew is stupendous.
616
00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:44,480
Mama, you have a-- a nipple piercing.
617
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:46,680
For my birthday.
It was a gift from your father.
618
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:48,840
It got infected.
She had to take antibiotics.
619
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:50,600
-It was horrible.
-Oh, look.
620
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:53,440
Oh! We're going in the jacuzzi.
before it gets too crowded to fit in.
621
00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:54,400
See you later.
622
00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:57,960
-You two have fun. See you later.
-Bye, now. See you later.
623
00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:04,320
But, uh, I thought they had a concert.
624
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:09,480
With my aunt and uncle.
625
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:12,960
Sure. Hmm.
626
00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:14,080
Thank you.
627
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:18,400
Javier and Alicia. My-- my aunt Alicia.
628
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:21,200
Right.
629
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:40,600
I'm home now, Álex!
630
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:42,720
Álex.
631
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:44,840
-Yeah, be out in a second!
-Huh.
632
00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:47,160
Nothing. Uh, my thing
with Ángeles is over, okay?
633
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:50,320
Body number one, that one's down.
634
00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:52,440
Double check mark, right? Uh--
635
00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:54,800
That's great, huh? Congratulations.
636
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:57,640
Who's under there?
637
00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:00,040
Me. I'm studying.
638
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,400
No, no. There. There. What's under there?
639
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:06,520
Oh, this here?
Mm, they're cushions to hold my laptop up.
640
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:09,160
Come out. Hey, man, out.
641
00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:11,320
There's no problem, really. Don't worry.
642
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:24,560
Hmm.
643
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:29,480
Have a good night.
644
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:36,080
Well, at least they're fucking.
645
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:37,160
Luz.
646
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:41,720
Okay, do they get a discount,
like, in museums?
647
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:44,600
My parents are swingers.
The world's going to hell.
648
00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:46,960
Look, now we know
how they've kept up the passion.
649
00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:48,120
What more proof do you need?
650
00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:53,360
That's it. Fuck it all. Wanna get married?
651
00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:54,600
Keep your eyes on the road!
652
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:57,400
It has chocolate on it
because I hid it inside that coulant.
653
00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:59,480
But since you ordered
violet ice cream, well…
654
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:02,360
Raúl, you know I'm a divorce lawyer
who's also divorced.
655
00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:04,480
-So?
-Of course not.
656
00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:07,640
Is that what you really want?
657
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:09,960
No, I wanna go back to a week ago,
658
00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:12,080
to when my girlfriend
didn't want an open relationship
659
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:14,280
and my mother
was a woman without piercings
660
00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:16,440
who made empanadas with tuna.
661
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:19,960
Honey, I don't want you to do anything
that makes you uncomfortable.
662
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:21,680
Look, no, no, no, no. I'm uncomfortable.
663
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:24,120
I don't want anyone banging my girlfriend.
Call me a weirdo.
664
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:27,200
I love you,
but I no longer believe in monogamy.
665
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:30,360
I don't believe in the dirty things that
those people do, people like my parents.
666
00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:32,240
Okay, fine, now what do we do?
667
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:36,800
But I'm telling you
to do whatever you want to.
668
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:39,160
But you shouldn't say that.
You should support me, man.
669
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:40,880
You're not the center of the universe.
670
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:43,240
I think it's amazing
that you wanna be an influ--
671
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:45,640
Creator of content.
672
00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:48,920
But there are millions. Millions, Daniela.
What makes you so special?
673
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:51,560
When you talk to me
in that condescending shitty little tone,
674
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:53,840
as if you were my dad,
I swear I wanna beat your ass.
675
00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:57,760
You're the one that treats me like a fool.
"Reinvent yourself, go with the flow."
676
00:32:57,840 --> 00:32:59,440
Here I am fixing the faucet.
677
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:01,760
-Taking dopey photos.
-You're the one who offered to do it.
678
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:03,520
And do not get me started on that trip.
679
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,280
Ah-ah! So you don't wanna go
on vacation with me?
680
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:07,280
-With you, yes.
-Sure.
681
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:09,640
But not with your sister,
Miss Treatments, God no.
682
00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:11,640
-But yes, I'll come with you.
-Hey, listen.
683
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:14,440
If you're pissed because you got fired,
don't take it out on me, okay?
684
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:17,320
I'm not pissed, my love.
I'm reinventing myself.
685
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:20,080
Go fuck yourself.
686
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:22,400
And go get unemployment.
687
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:28,040
Don't you worry.
I'll go to Tenerife by myself.
688
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:35,480
Good.
689
00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:36,600
That look hot?
690
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:38,880
-Care for another margarita?
-Yes, thank you.
691
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:43,520
Oh, and a shot. Uh, anything.