1 00:00:06,280 --> 00:00:08,840 A NETFLIX SERIES 2 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,720 CHANNEL 99 3 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:23,960 All right, you have to sign right here 4 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:28,000 and here and right here. 5 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:32,880 We've given you everything that you're entitled to. 6 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:35,680 How nice of you, complying with the law. 7 00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:36,920 Do you need anything else? 8 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,960 My whiteboard. 9 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:45,880 Pedro, I don't know why you were fired, but you-- 10 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:48,720 The glass ceiling shattered and fell on top of me. 11 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:51,960 Okay, I just wanted to tell you that I admire you. 12 00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:54,080 I think you're an amazing guy. 13 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:56,120 Gee, thanks. 14 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:57,600 I agree with you. 15 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,520 Would you be interested in joining my team? 16 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:03,280 As assistant manager? 17 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:05,880 Do you really think I'd put my brilliance 18 00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:07,600 at the service of an opportunist 19 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:10,600 who was handpicked as some kind of feminist affirmative action? 20 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:13,360 Hmm. It's not my fault that things are changing, Pedro. 21 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:14,280 You sure? 22 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:17,240 They pay you to think up idiotic shows that will get high ratings 23 00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:19,480 so they can advertise hair products, 24 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:21,920 creams for antiaging, cereals with whole grains 25 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,640 and other mass-produced pieces of garbage 26 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:25,320 to all these silly little women 27 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:28,280 who've bought into the hyped-up empowerment bullshit. 28 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:29,680 And who pays you? 29 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:31,160 A crazy old man. 30 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:34,800 Sorry, honey, but you're just another pawn of the patriarchy. 31 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:36,080 And you're a bastard. 32 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:38,000 Dumb pawn. 33 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:53,400 Uh, hey, what are you doing with my phone? 34 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:54,880 Shh! I'm shipping you. 35 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:56,800 -Shi-- what? -Getting you a date. 36 00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:58,040 No, no, no, no. No more dates. 37 00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:00,480 -Really, I'm not going on another. -Relax, the same woman. 38 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:01,800 -Who, Ángeles? -Mm-hmm. 39 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:03,720 But I slammed the door in her face. 40 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:06,120 Yeah, that's why I had to work on an apology. 41 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:08,560 She'll be your body number one. Would nine o'clock work? 42 00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:10,560 My body number one? 43 00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:12,680 You have to erase Mom from your body's memory. 44 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:15,000 And for that, you gotta sleep with ten women. 45 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:16,160 -With ten? -Mm-hmm. 46 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:19,440 With ten! Where the hell did you get that crazy idea? 47 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:22,160 -I'm sending you the link. -But what? 48 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,320 This is all nonsense, seriously. 49 00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:28,520 Uh, first off, I don't need to erase anything about your mom, okay? 50 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:31,160 She's been completely erased by now. Did it on her own. 51 00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:33,200 You're lying. You have to take the test at the end. 52 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:35,720 And I actually like being a bachelor. 53 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:36,760 What test? 54 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:38,880 Hey, Dad, why even get up in the morning? 55 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,120 You're like the living dead. You've given up. 56 00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:43,800 I need a good role model. Someone to look up to. 57 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:45,680 But ten women's too much. 58 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:49,640 Really, I've only been with four or five in total. 59 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:51,240 Everything moves quicker now. 60 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:52,480 Dad, YOLO! 61 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:53,400 YOLO? 62 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:54,960 You only live once. 63 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:05,680 HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN YOUR EX? WHO ENDED THE RELATIONSHIP? 64 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:07,480 SHE DID. I DIDN'T EXPECT IT AT ALL 65 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:10,840 Hmm. 66 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:13,720 I just don't-- don't understand it. 67 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:16,160 I don't see the need for it at all. 68 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:18,400 All right, we'll just carry on like everyone else then. 69 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:19,320 Mm-hmm. 70 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:23,680 And we'll just let this hang over us until we become distant. 71 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:25,320 Yeah, like every other damn couple. 72 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:28,400 It doesn't matter. Forget it. You're just not emotionally ready now. 73 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:31,120 -I've lived more than you. -Hey! 74 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:34,040 Hey, cool it, Obi-Wan, okay? I've been around the block. 75 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:38,080 I mean… I-- I've seen some crazy-- wow, crazy stuff. 76 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:41,640 It's very difficult to find people who are mature and sure of themselves. 77 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:43,720 -You think I'm immature? -You're scared shitless. 78 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:44,760 Scared of what? 79 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:47,560 Admit it, darling. You couldn't handle an open relationship. 80 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:52,080 I mean, come on. Can you really see me doing stuff with another girl? 81 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:53,480 Yeah, why not? 82 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:57,320 Yeah, with some young 20-something girl with perky tits and a tight ass, 83 00:03:57,400 --> 00:04:00,720 both of us bare naked, writhing in bed, sweating it out, huh? 84 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:03,040 -Is that a yes? -No, don't put words in my mouth. 85 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:06,320 Oh, because I was getting all horny listening to that. 86 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:08,480 -We'll talk it through. -What is there to talk about? 87 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:10,280 I'm going. I'm late already. 88 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,680 I said no, okay? 89 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,760 I made coffee, and I just went and bought some fresh croissants. 90 00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:27,280 -Don't buy me this junk. I'll eat it all. -Wanna go out tonight? 91 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:29,600 Mmm! Let's save money and have dinner here. 92 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:32,640 I bought these vegan hamburgers that'll make you forget about steak forever. 93 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:35,320 Save for what? I'm sure they'll start fighting over me. 94 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,800 Enjoy your freedom. Come on and reinvent yourself. 95 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:40,360 Didn't you always say you never had time for anything? Hmm. 96 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:42,520 Read, hang out with your buddies, hmm. 97 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:45,120 Install the new kitchen faucet. I don't know, live a little. 98 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:46,720 What? Faucet? 99 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:50,840 Ta-da! This faucet. 100 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:52,400 What's wrong with the one we've got? 101 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:55,760 This one's like those industrial ones. It stretches like a garden hose. 102 00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:57,600 Good morning. 103 00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:59,440 -Good morning, Patri. -She doesn't know, hmm? 104 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:01,720 Hmm, there's no need to tell her. She may quit. 105 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:06,280 Wanna spend the day together and go shopping? 106 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:07,920 Oh, more spending. 107 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,320 Well, we could just walk and hold hands. That's free. 108 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:14,000 Hmm. I'm meeting Cynthia. She was gifted a beauty treatment and invited me along. 109 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:16,080 -How nice of your sister, the influencer. -Hmm. 110 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:18,160 -Content creator. Thank you. -All right. 111 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,920 -Are you off today, sir? -Taking a sick day. 112 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,640 Ah. Enjoy it, you work so hard, sir. 113 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:33,320 Yeah. 114 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,680 Okay, when would you say that your sex problems first arose? 115 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:39,440 You said we were going out to buy a new coffee maker. 116 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:42,800 Our sex life was washed away a long time ago by two tsunamis. 117 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:45,040 Iris and Ulises, our two children. 118 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:46,440 The one with the pods. 119 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:48,400 And he has the sex drive of a plant. 120 00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:51,520 It's 'cause she wants it when I'm tired. I'm under a lot of stress. 121 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:54,280 -I'm a police officer. -Local. 122 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:57,720 Jaywalking, public drinking, parking violations. 123 00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:00,920 And she's a driving instructor, which is a whole lot more exciting. 124 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,800 Okay, I'm gonna stop you there. 125 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:05,320 First and foremost, no personal attacks. 126 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:07,040 Remember that you're on the same team. 127 00:06:07,840 --> 00:06:11,200 Like many couples, you have a communication problem. 128 00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:13,640 My first recommendation is that you talk. 129 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:16,360 Well, we do talk. It's the only thing we do. 130 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:19,520 There's a lot of social pressure about how much sex a couple should have, 131 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,640 but the important thing is quality. 132 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:25,400 And for that, it's important to talk. To talk about sex without fear. 133 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:28,440 About each other's tastes, about what it is you miss. 134 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:29,600 Well, fucking. 135 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:32,160 I had a patient who was strongly feminist, 136 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:35,440 and she was mortified when she was turned on by being called a slut in bed. 137 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,760 If it turns you on, what's the problem with your partner 138 00:06:37,840 --> 00:06:38,800 calling you a "slut"? 139 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:41,280 None at all. If she likes it. 140 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:44,240 You'd be surprised by how many men who are hetero 141 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,600 would like to be fingered in the anus by their partner. 142 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,000 But they don't dare to ask. 143 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:55,800 -Would you like me to finger you in your… -No, not really, no. 144 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:56,920 Hmm. 145 00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:00,360 Is that something you'd like? 146 00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:02,120 Well, like to, no, but… 147 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,440 You see that? You're talking now. 148 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:13,240 Oh, my God! Patricia, excuse me. 149 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:14,760 Sorry, need to come in here? 150 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:17,240 No, no, no, no. Go on, go on. There is more bathrooms. 151 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:22,800 RELIGION FOR SHEEP 152 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:27,720 -Oh, I didn't know you were here. -No problem. 153 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,040 Keep on vacuuming. I'll read upstairs. 154 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:53,240 Motherfucker. 155 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:55,280 Friends, the next step is very easy. 156 00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:57,360 Now that we've finished installing the faucet, 157 00:07:57,440 --> 00:08:01,080 let's check the connection with the valve that supplies water to the faucet. 158 00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:03,080 It's very easy. 159 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:05,640 All done. 160 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:07,680 And as you can see, it works perfectly. 161 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:10,720 There's no water coming out. 162 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:14,280 No leaks at all, no drips. In short, no issues at all. 163 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,320 -Shut up, asshole. -Are you okay, sir? 164 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:18,320 Do you need any help? 165 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,320 This damn faucet doesn't work at all. 166 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,560 Oh, I'll take care of it. Don't worry. 167 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:31,040 Oh, so you know how to fix a faucet. 168 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,920 This is the first time it's happened. 169 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,480 And it had to be me? 170 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:41,240 Do you, I don't know, wanna try it again? 171 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:45,080 Sweetie, if I want bad sex, I already have my husband. 172 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:47,000 Seventeen years. 173 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:48,240 SWINGING 174 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:52,080 Seventeen years of happiness. And suddenly, she's a different person. 175 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:54,440 It's like she's transformed into my enemy. 176 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:55,800 There's like, I don't know, 177 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:58,360 all this silence at home, all this tension. 178 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:00,640 Um, hello. 179 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:03,600 Yes. Ah, yes, sorry, Jesús. 180 00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:05,480 I'm just taking some notes for the lawsuit. 181 00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:07,360 Okay, on her phone, I saw the list of calls, 182 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:10,760 and I saw she'd called her cousin Almudena 160 times in a month. 183 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:12,080 -I didn't believe it. -Mm-hmm. 184 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,880 Plus, I have her number, and it's different. Ha! 185 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:18,000 She made such a scene. She said it was invasion of her privacy. 186 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:19,760 You bitch, you're the one cheating on me. 187 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:21,600 -Of course. Uh-huh. -Sure. 188 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,080 -Excuse me. -Hmm. 189 00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:27,160 Tell me. 190 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:29,880 What are you doing? I've missed you. 191 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:32,240 Working now. You all right? 192 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:33,920 Yes, yes. 193 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,400 You like me calling you out of the blue like this? 194 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:39,200 -Hey, I've gotta go. I'm with a client. -With a client? 195 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:40,880 Like, at the office or-- 196 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:43,720 -Uh, uh, Luz. -I assume you've paid for the hotel? 197 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:47,800 -Thank you. -All right. 198 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:50,400 Well, then what happened to you, buddy? 199 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:52,880 -I think I pulled a muscle in my back. -What's up, you guys? 200 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,320 Where you been, macho man? 201 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:57,080 Uh, sorting out some business. Where's Duna? 202 00:09:57,160 --> 00:10:00,760 Picking her kid up, he's sick. Go on, serve your friends and your parents. 203 00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:03,800 But make sure to charge them though. I know you. 204 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:07,840 Hey. 205 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:11,480 -How are you, sweetie? Mmm! Mmm! -What are you doing here? 206 00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:14,680 -We've started going on morning walks. -I'm a guy who needs incentives, my boy. 207 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:15,800 Ah! 208 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:17,440 Look what I brought you. 209 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,920 Mama, I really don't need any food. I own a restaurant. 210 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,160 Well, then why don't you just share them with the boys? 211 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:24,720 Hi, guys. Empanadas with tuna. 212 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:26,200 -Thank you. -Bravo! 213 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:29,840 Oh, hurry, warm these up. In the oven, don't nuke them. 214 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,480 Come on, please, I gotta work now. 215 00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:33,800 But we came to see you. You never come see us. 216 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:35,520 Okay, Dad, I've been busy for a while. 217 00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:38,320 Come here, give it to me, you ingrate. Thanks, Pili. 218 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:39,320 They're tuna. 219 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:41,280 Have you seen your mom's ass in those? 220 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:43,480 She's got the ass of a goddess. 221 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,120 Dad, come on. Get out. 222 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:46,880 -I love you. -See you later. 223 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:48,040 Mmm! 224 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:50,760 Hey, your parents are proof that happy marriages do exist. 225 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:52,440 Look at 'em. I like that. 226 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:54,360 Damn, yeah, that's true. 227 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:56,120 A different generation. Doesn't count. 228 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,680 -Of course they count. They count more. -No, they don't count. 229 00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:00,640 What are you up to tonight? Wanna go get drinks? 230 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:01,560 No, I can't. 231 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:03,560 -Me neither. -I have a date with Ángeles. 232 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:05,520 From Tinder? You're back for more? 233 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:08,520 Oh, no, Álex convinced her to see me again. 234 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,080 Oh, Álex got you another date. 235 00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:11,880 -She worries about me. The poor thing. -Yeah. 236 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:15,640 Yeah, or she wants to turn your place into a love shack, you know. 237 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:17,840 You're such pig. She's only 16 years old. 238 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:20,680 -She gets laid more than you. -Well, that's not so hard. 239 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,880 No, my kid doesn't think like you, you perverts. 240 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:25,840 Come on, Santi, accept it. Álex is messing around. No big deal. 241 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:27,160 Don't say that. My God! 242 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:29,560 -She is. She's already punched the V card. -God damn. 243 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:31,680 Stuffed the turkey, popped the cherry. 244 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:33,240 Plugged in the pen drive. 245 00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:39,160 -Um… -You're really so disgusting. 246 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:40,400 You all are a bunch of sickos. 247 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:42,280 You know that? Every one of you is. 248 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:45,200 -Hey, she's gonna do a little banging. -Like I said, sick. 249 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:47,560 Oh! 250 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:50,800 LORETO'S DRIVING SCHOOL 251 00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,800 Garage number 11, opening up. 252 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,760 Thank you, you're very kind. 253 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,560 Let's go. 254 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,280 Hope nobody sees us. I can't believe we're doing this. 255 00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:04,040 Straight from the garage to the bedroom. 256 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:06,000 It's so sad coming here with your husband. 257 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:08,760 -Didn't you want some privacy? -Yes, I know, but this is so sad. 258 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:10,320 A bit. 259 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:11,720 Hey, we can always turn around. 260 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:14,640 No way. Your mom's watching the kids for once. Come on, let's do it. 261 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:17,040 All right, the therapist said we should talk. 262 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:19,240 -Correct. -About sex. 263 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:20,640 Well, let's talk about sex then. 264 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:24,040 All right. Uh, okay, but don't take things the wrong way. 265 00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:25,480 -No, no, go on. -Okay. 266 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:29,520 Do you have any sexual urges throughout the day? 267 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:32,520 I mean, okay, I'll just-- I'll kick things off. 268 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:34,320 Do you masturbate? 269 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:35,560 I jerk off constantly, Esther. 270 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:36,720 Where at? 271 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,880 I don't know, shower, work, anywhere. 272 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:41,000 -At work? -Mm-hmm. In the patrol car. 273 00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:44,040 When, uh, Julián goes for coffee, I do it. 274 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:46,600 Um, eww, that's so disgusting. 275 00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:47,680 Well, you asked. 276 00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:49,880 Okay, what do you think of when you… 277 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:51,320 -I think of you. -Luis. 278 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:52,680 And who do you think about? 279 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:54,400 Well, I think about other guys. 280 00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:56,320 But now I'll start thinking about you. 281 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:57,640 You can be my new fantasy. 282 00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,360 Oh, okay, okay. Well, I don't mind. 283 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:02,080 -You like that I think of others? -Why would I like that? 284 00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:03,160 Some people like that. 285 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,000 Would you like it if I thought about others? 286 00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:06,560 Why are you asking the same things? 287 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:07,920 Don't know. It came to mind now. 288 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:11,080 Luis, I need you to take more initiative, okay? 289 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:13,720 I mean, when you feel horny, come find me. 290 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,800 If I'm in the kitchen, we'll do it there. 291 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:17,040 And the kids? 292 00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:20,000 The kids need new hobbies. They spend too much time at home, dear. 293 00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:22,320 Yeah, but we've got two, and hobbies are expensive. 294 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:25,720 Look, really, this doesn't-- it doesn't make any sense at all. 295 00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:28,160 I'm like-- like naked here, right here at a hotel. 296 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,440 We came here to fuck, and I'm not even horny. 297 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:32,880 No, me either, because you're telling me off. 298 00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:39,040 Should we go in the pool? 299 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:43,720 No way. I'm not going in there. 300 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,840 Honest, I couldn't be bothered to go out with you again, 301 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:55,920 but you really amused me with your groveling. 302 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,040 -Yeah. I was very insistent, huh? -Hmm. 303 00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:00,160 I'm not normally that annoying. 304 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:03,440 I said to myself, "Fuck, I must really turn him on." 305 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:06,200 But let me tell you, having your self-esteem boosted at my age, 306 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,080 well, it really feels so great. 307 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:09,360 Yeah, well, good to hear. 308 00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:12,280 Uh, because you know, that isn't-- that's really not my style. 309 00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:13,520 It isn't. Seriously. 310 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:16,520 So, Santi, tell me about you. What are you looking for exactly? 311 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:20,800 Uh, well, well, I… 312 00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:21,880 -I was married. -Oh. 313 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:23,120 But she's dead now. 314 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,160 -Oof! -She died in a car accident. 315 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,720 -She crashed head-on into a bus. -Oof! 316 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,160 School bus. No kids were hurt. Oof, you know. 317 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:32,120 But anyway, must've seen it on the news. 318 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,120 -It was a big tragedy. -Mnh-mnh. 319 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,280 No, actually, it wasn't on the news after all. 320 00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:39,720 It wasn't on it because there was an attack, 321 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:42,400 an important vote or something. I don't know. Pandemic. 322 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:45,520 Something happened that day and took the spotlight off of it. Yeah. 323 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,880 Yeah. I'm sorry. How hard. 324 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:49,360 She can really be a bitch. Karma. 325 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:50,800 Oh. 326 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:53,760 Um, got any kids? 327 00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:56,840 Uh, yes, a daughter. She's, uh, 16 years old. 328 00:14:56,920 --> 00:15:00,120 But you know, I barely see her. She has a life of her own and… 329 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:04,480 Mm, yeah. We both know that, right? You know, kids at that age. 330 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:06,840 And what are they like? 331 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:08,120 They're a different generation. 332 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,120 They're much more grown-up than we were back then. 333 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:12,800 More grown-up, what do you mean by that? 334 00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:15,760 Look, Santi, I lost my virginity when I was 22, 335 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:18,880 and these little pricks are having orgies when they're 15 years old. 336 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,120 -Orgies? -Hmm. 337 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:23,240 Orgies. 338 00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:25,840 They see sex in a different way is what I mean. 339 00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:29,240 But, listen, I do think it's a very healthy thing, right? 340 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:30,240 Your table is ready. 341 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,880 -Okay. Ángeles, I gotta go. -What? 342 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:35,240 Yes, uh, nice seeing you. I had such a great time, 343 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:38,360 but I've just gotta-- I have an emergency, and I'm sorry. I gotta go. 344 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:41,200 You're fucking kidding, right? Santi! 345 00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:46,280 What's going on? What's going on? 346 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:48,760 -Holy shit, Dad. What's wrong, hmm? -Let's see. 347 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,600 No, just… 348 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:54,560 I heard-- I heard a weird noise, and I was worried about you, you know. 349 00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:56,040 And your date? 350 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:57,880 She-- she had to leave. 351 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:00,200 -She had a headache. -You talked about Mom, didn't-- 352 00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:01,360 What smells so weird? 353 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,360 -You feel okay? -Of course. 354 00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:18,360 -What's this, huh? -Homework. 355 00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:23,600 I'm so very proud of you, you know. 356 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:26,240 Keep studying. Study hard, honey, study hard. 357 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,160 God damn it. 358 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:41,400 POSTS 359 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:42,440 Hello! 360 00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:45,720 I'm here in this big house, seeing my sister. 361 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:48,840 Well, well, and who do we have here in the kitchen? 362 00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:51,400 It's my bro-in-law. He's made dinner for us. 363 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:52,320 Don't film me. 364 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:55,000 Well, he's in a bad mood because he got fired from work. 365 00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:57,960 -So you told her? -Cynthia, not now. 366 00:16:58,040 --> 00:16:59,720 Relax, I'll edit it out. It's not live. 367 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:01,960 -Mmm! -What happened to your face? 368 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:04,400 Mm. It's a bit swollen from the treatment. 369 00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:06,560 Yes, but you're gonna love it. Tomorrow, baby face. 370 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:09,880 Hey, let me know about Tenerife 'cause I gotta give an answer. 371 00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:11,520 -Mm. -Are you coming with me? 372 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:12,640 What's this about Tenerife? 373 00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:15,200 She's invited to stay at this hotel this weekend. We can come. 374 00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:17,960 -You up for it? There's a spa. -We'll think about it. 375 00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:20,000 -Now that you have time. -Why did they fire you? 376 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:24,120 Are you going to stay here for dinner, or are you leaving? 377 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:25,120 Oh. 378 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,560 She'll go. She'll go. She'll go. Come on. 379 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:31,040 I mean, who's gonna hire him now because of his old age? 380 00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:35,320 -Love you. -Love you more. 381 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:36,960 Honey, I'm here. 382 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:38,640 -Hello. -Mmm! 383 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:41,160 What's this? 384 00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:42,240 Open it. 385 00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:52,280 "Spreading the Love, a Guide to Open Relationships." 386 00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:53,200 -Mm-hmm. Hmm. 387 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:56,400 Look here. This is my favorite one. "Instinctive Promiscuity." 388 00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:58,440 -The possibilities are endless. -Hmm. 389 00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:01,040 An emotionally polyamorous couple 390 00:18:01,120 --> 00:18:04,880 or sexually polyamorous or romantic anarchists, poly-fidelity… 391 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,560 I want you to meet my parents. 392 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:09,680 What? Isn't it a bit soon? 393 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:10,600 What do you mean? 394 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:13,200 We've been dating for three years. I think it's about time. 395 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:17,400 Yes. Well, I-- okay, at the right moment. 396 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:20,440 Look here. "Basic rules." 397 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:23,240 "One. Start with a solid relationship." 398 00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:25,760 "Two. Avoid being jealous." 399 00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:27,440 That's something we'll need to work on. 400 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,480 Wanna have dinner with them tomorrow? 401 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:32,400 Oh, but tomorrow I wanted to take you to this place that's amazing. 402 00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:35,440 Didn't you say that to have an open relationship things gotta be solid? 403 00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:36,920 Yeah. 404 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,560 A relationship isn't solid until your girlfriend bites the bullet 405 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,960 and meets her in-laws. It's the way it is. 406 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:46,840 Okay, well, let's see them tomorrow. 407 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:48,920 But make it early, okay? I have work. 408 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,200 You'll love them. Ha! 409 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:24,800 Good morning, my little slut. 410 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:28,240 Look what I've got. 411 00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:29,880 All for you. 412 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:37,800 -What are you doing? -Huh? 413 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:41,400 What the hell! 414 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:55,120 9,112 VIEWS 415 00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:56,440 "Starting out my day." 416 00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:01,240 Oh, God, sweet Jesus. 417 00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:03,240 No, no, no, hang on! Stop, stop, stop, stop! 418 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:25,480 Phone higher. 419 00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:26,880 You'll give me a double chin, no. 420 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:29,000 Your legs look longer, because of the perspective. 421 00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:32,760 -Can you see the brand though? -Yes, yes. Perfect. 422 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:35,520 You getting paid to promote that? 423 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,520 Not yet, no. Not yet. 424 00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:41,120 Wait, Patri. I'm gonna get changed, okay? Ow! 425 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,480 Hmm. 426 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:47,520 Not working today either, sir? 427 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:51,520 No, uh, I took the week off, actually. 428 00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:54,120 Oh, how nice. You work so hard. 429 00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,560 Hey, why are you making the maid take photos? 430 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:07,640 A photographer costs a lot, you know. 431 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:09,600 Look, honey, what am I here for? 432 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:11,320 You serious? 433 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:15,960 Jesus! Careful. You'll get yourself killed. 434 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:18,960 Try to look out for cars. 435 00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:22,880 Good. 436 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:24,600 How's that? A bit closer. 437 00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:27,880 -Try turning. -Good. Come on, one more. 438 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:33,840 Come on, I mean, we're not 15 years old anymore. 439 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:37,560 No, no, sir. This way, please. Great. Yes, thank you. 440 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:40,120 Yeah, excellent angle. That's good. 441 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,120 Oh! Oops, sorry. Sorry. 442 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,320 That's it. 443 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,440 Right there. Yeah, that's amazing! 444 00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:55,120 Hey, you! Can't you see we're recording right now? 445 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:56,520 -Come on, knock it off. -Excuse me. 446 00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:59,000 -I asked you to-- come on! -Calm down. Whoa! 447 00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:03,800 But she said take the initiative. 448 00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:05,640 -Literally. -And I was still sleeping. 449 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,120 -That's a kind of rape. -Wow. 450 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,720 You said, "If you're hard, go for it." Isn't that what you said? 451 00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:11,040 Sex is more beautiful 452 00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:13,560 if your partner is also conscious during the act though. 453 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:14,560 Mm-hmm. 454 00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:19,240 Then in 24 hours, I've gone from asexual to rapist. 455 00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:20,160 I just don't get it. 456 00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:21,480 Well, it's not that difficult. 457 00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:23,520 You could say good morning first. Be polite. 458 00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:25,760 -I said, "Good morning, you little slut." -Little slut? 459 00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:27,160 "Look what I've got for you." 460 00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:30,080 Look, if I don't respond, it's because I didn't hear you, hmm? 461 00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:32,000 You could also make me coffee, to wake me up. 462 00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,640 Well, how long do you think an erection lasts at my age? 463 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:35,800 I don't know. You tell me. 464 00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:39,200 I don't know. I-- I give up. I'm just-- I'm just so lost right now. 465 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,640 You really fucked my date up. Thanks, guys. 466 00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:47,920 I hurried home in terror, 467 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,600 and Álex was sitting there studying, like an angel. 468 00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:53,680 Okay, she heard you arrive, and the boyfriend jumped out the window. 469 00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:56,000 We live on the fifth floor. What is he, Batman? 470 00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,320 Ah, don't worry, just go out again with Ángeles. 471 00:22:58,400 --> 00:22:59,840 With Ángeles? No. No, no, guys. 472 00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:01,840 It's the second time I've ditched her, poor thing. 473 00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:03,400 No fixing that. 474 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:06,280 Who is that? Ángeles? 475 00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:08,080 -Pick it up. -No, no, no, no, no. 476 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:09,040 You should answer it. 477 00:23:09,120 --> 00:23:10,720 Turn the speaker on. Turn the-- 478 00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:12,360 I don't want to, damn it! 479 00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:14,040 Ángeles! Ángeles. Hello! 480 00:23:14,120 --> 00:23:16,520 I-- I-- I'm-- I'm sor-- 481 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,880 I'm very sorry about the other day, really. 482 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:22,160 Look, I-- I-- I have to tell you that I have this tick. 483 00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:25,840 And I have to check the gas stove, and I got all anxious about that. 484 00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:28,480 The truth is that I just couldn't… 485 00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:30,760 What? 486 00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:35,200 -What? -Uh, okay, perfect. Yes. 487 00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:37,400 Well, send me your address. 488 00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:39,000 Got it, yes. 489 00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:40,560 Okay, wonderful. 490 00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:43,880 Okay, okay, okay. See you soon. See you soon. 491 00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:44,800 And? 492 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:48,360 She-- she said I should come over and stop playing games. 493 00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:49,640 -Hell yeah! -Santi! 494 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:51,280 They're gonna fix your phimosis. 495 00:23:51,360 --> 00:23:52,800 Hey, come on, please, stop, stop. 496 00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:55,000 Are you all gonna freak out every time I go on a date? 497 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:56,080 Yeah. 498 00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:02,080 What should we do? We could hit the town. 499 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:05,520 Uh, no, no, today's impossible. Got this thing at home that… 500 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,560 I'm going to dinner with Luz. I'm introducing her to my parents. 501 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:15,200 What? 502 00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:21,880 They've been married for 44 years. 503 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:25,080 Forty-four years. Ha! Easier said than done. 504 00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:26,480 And they're still happy. 505 00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:28,960 They even still have sex. Can you believe it? 506 00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:30,400 Thank you for the info. 507 00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:32,280 Mom! 508 00:24:32,360 --> 00:24:34,840 Sweetheart! Ramón, it's our boy. 509 00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:37,160 How were the empanadas? They were tuna. 510 00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:38,520 Yes, uh, delicious. 511 00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:41,800 Hey, I'm gonna come over for dinner to introduce you to Luz. 512 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:43,520 -Which Luz? -His girlfriend. 513 00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:45,760 -Oh, Sol? -That was a different one. 514 00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:48,600 -There in half an hour. -Oh, today? No! No, no, no, no, no. 515 00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:50,520 -We-- we can't today. -Why not? 516 00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:53,640 -Mama. -We're going to a concert. 517 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:55,440 We're going with Aunt Alicia and Uncle Javier 518 00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:56,840 to the National Auditorium. 519 00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:58,600 But since when do you like classical music? 520 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:00,480 Hang up, Pili. We'll be late. 521 00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:02,840 This Sunday. Come on Sunday for stew. 522 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:04,920 Kisses, sweetie-pie. I love you. 523 00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:08,360 What? We're not going, huh? 524 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:11,440 -They're going to a concert. -Why didn't you ask them before? 525 00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:14,080 I never schedule with my parents. They're always home. 526 00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:16,640 Let's go. We should get a drink now. 527 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:19,360 But you-- hey, what a beautiful marriage they've got, huh? 528 00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:21,440 -Uh-huh. -They even go out to concerts and stuff. 529 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:22,440 Forty-four years. 530 00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:25,480 -I know. -And they hold hands in public. 531 00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:28,680 Tricolor quinoa with mixed vegetables, 532 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:30,440 a stew with seitan protein 533 00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:33,560 and eggplant pâté with crudités. 534 00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:37,000 And for our drink, kombucha. 535 00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:39,760 Let's see. That's it. Ginger, my favorite. 536 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:43,800 This is all accompanied by this marvelous cardboard flatbread, 537 00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:45,360 which is so good. 538 00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:48,280 Well, at least it's edible. 539 00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:51,960 Look, really, if you don't like it, use it to fix a wonky table instead. 540 00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:53,840 I don't know who makes this bread. 541 00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:57,640 However, since they're in Germany, they won't find out. 542 00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:01,040 Mm. I've gotta go. My boyfriend is giving me the look. 543 00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:02,720 Bye. 544 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:05,520 -Mmm. -We having this for dinner? 545 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:06,880 Or was it just for the video? 546 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,160 Patri made it for us with all her love. 547 00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:10,800 I've worn her out reading vegan recipes. 548 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:14,120 Poor little thing. 549 00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:19,080 Hey, weren't you going out with your friends now? 550 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,520 People say that work absorbs you, but that's a lie. 551 00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:23,080 It's life that absorbs you. 552 00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:25,320 -What? -Everyone has their families now. 553 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:28,080 Nothing's like it was before, when we did what we wanted. 554 00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:30,840 Growing old really sucks. 555 00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:33,440 Honey, I think you're in shock. 556 00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:34,920 Don't overthink it all. 557 00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:37,840 This one's so good. I love it. 558 00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:42,640 Hey, why are you always on your toes? 559 00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:44,520 It makes my legs look skinny. 560 00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:47,600 -Wow! -And why are you laughing at the sky? 561 00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:50,280 Well, I'm quickly getting more and more followers, smart-ass. 562 00:26:50,360 --> 00:26:52,800 People love my style. Is that a problem? 563 00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:55,880 No, not at all. As long as you're entertained. 564 00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:11,960 Ángeles, your date's here. 565 00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:15,120 How are you? 566 00:27:17,120 --> 00:27:19,760 Uh, that's your mother, huh? Uh-- 567 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:23,440 What's your problem, huh? 568 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:25,640 -Do you like teasing me or what? -Uh, mm-- 569 00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:31,040 Hey, wait, wait, wait! 570 00:27:31,120 --> 00:27:33,600 Uh, it's just I haven't been honest with you. 571 00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:36,400 What? You're married, huh? Look, I don't care 572 00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:39,200 No, no, no, no, no. I'm divorced now, but my ex isn't really dead. 573 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:40,920 Okay, relax. She'll die sooner or later. 574 00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:42,320 No, no, no. Let me say something. 575 00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:44,840 Uh, so we split up three years ago. 576 00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:46,320 -Because she cheated on me. -Hmm. 577 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:48,760 I forgave her, but she moved in with the other guy. 578 00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:50,840 And even though I truly hate her with all my soul, 579 00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:54,640 every single day I hope she'll crawl back and beg me to forgive her, 580 00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:58,120 because the saddest thing of all is that I'm still in love with her. 581 00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,840 And, hmm, how does that affect us two? 582 00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:03,600 Hmm. I don't know. What are you looking for? 583 00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:06,640 -An orgasm. -Well, then that doesn't affect us. 584 00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:17,920 Oh! Hang on. Hang on, hot shot. Why are you in such a hurry? 585 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:19,640 -Eh? -I'm gonna need some lube. 586 00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:21,520 I think it's on my nightstand. 587 00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:23,400 Oh, okay. 588 00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:26,480 Oh, hurry up, for God's sake! I want you in me! 589 00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:28,600 Got it. 590 00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:29,800 Rub it on me, could you? 591 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:32,560 Uh, yes, sure. 592 00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:35,320 Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. 593 00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:40,760 -Ah, now! Ah, now! Do it now! -Yeah, now? 594 00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:44,680 -Oh! Ow! No! Stop, stop, stop! -What? 595 00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:46,960 -Oh! It stings. Oh! It stings. It stings! -What? 596 00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:49,080 -It's burning me! It's stinging! -All right. 597 00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:50,840 Oh, my God, fuck you. 598 00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:52,760 Ah! Oh, holy shit, holy shit! 599 00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:01,600 MOISTURIZING CREAM FOR DRY FEET 600 00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:02,960 LUBRICANT 601 00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:06,120 No fucking way. Oh. 602 00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:09,720 Fuck me! A 30-euro cover charge. Is dinner included or what? 603 00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:12,600 Hello. Two gin and tonics, please. 604 00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:16,120 Let's see. As you seem a bit unsure, 605 00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:20,200 I thought it'd be good for us to debut our new relationship in the public arena, 606 00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:21,280 the two of us. 607 00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:24,000 Let's have a drink, see what happens. And listen-- 608 00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:26,240 Wait a minute, wait. Where have you brought me, Luz? 609 00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:28,040 This is a swingers' club, darling. 610 00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:29,240 -Swingers? -Yes. 611 00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:32,560 -Hey, there, son. -What are you doing here? 612 00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:33,840 Is this your girlfriend? 613 00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:36,000 Yes, Luz. Uh, hi, there. 614 00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:38,560 I'm making you a stew on Sunday. That sounds good, huh? 615 00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:41,040 -Yes, very much. -Her stew is stupendous. 616 00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:44,480 Mama, you have a-- a nipple piercing. 617 00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:46,680 For my birthday. It was a gift from your father. 618 00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:48,840 It got infected. She had to take antibiotics. 619 00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:50,600 -It was horrible. -Oh, look. 620 00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:53,440 Oh! We're going in the jacuzzi. before it gets too crowded to fit in. 621 00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:54,400 See you later. 622 00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:57,960 -You two have fun. See you later. -Bye, now. See you later. 623 00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:04,320 But, uh, I thought they had a concert. 624 00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:09,480 With my aunt and uncle. 625 00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:12,960 Sure. Hmm. 626 00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:14,080 Thank you. 627 00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:18,400 Javier and Alicia. My-- my aunt Alicia. 628 00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:21,200 Right. 629 00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:40,600 I'm home now, Álex! 630 00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:42,720 Álex. 631 00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:44,840 -Yeah, be out in a second! -Huh. 632 00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:47,160 Nothing. Uh, my thing with Ángeles is over, okay? 633 00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:50,320 Body number one, that one's down. 634 00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:52,440 Double check mark, right? Uh-- 635 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:54,800 That's great, huh? Congratulations. 636 00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:57,640 Who's under there? 637 00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:00,040 Me. I'm studying. 638 00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,400 No, no. There. There. What's under there? 639 00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:06,520 Oh, this here? Mm, they're cushions to hold my laptop up. 640 00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:09,160 Come out. Hey, man, out. 641 00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:11,320 There's no problem, really. Don't worry. 642 00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:24,560 Hmm. 643 00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:29,480 Have a good night. 644 00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:36,080 Well, at least they're fucking. 645 00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:37,160 Luz. 646 00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:41,720 Okay, do they get a discount, like, in museums? 647 00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:44,600 My parents are swingers. The world's going to hell. 648 00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:46,960 Look, now we know how they've kept up the passion. 649 00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:48,120 What more proof do you need? 650 00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:53,360 That's it. Fuck it all. Wanna get married? 651 00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:54,600 Keep your eyes on the road! 652 00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:57,400 It has chocolate on it because I hid it inside that coulant. 653 00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:59,480 But since you ordered violet ice cream, well… 654 00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:02,360 Raúl, you know I'm a divorce lawyer who's also divorced. 655 00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:04,480 -So? -Of course not. 656 00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:07,640 Is that what you really want? 657 00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:09,960 No, I wanna go back to a week ago, 658 00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:12,080 to when my girlfriend didn't want an open relationship 659 00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:14,280 and my mother was a woman without piercings 660 00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:16,440 who made empanadas with tuna. 661 00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:19,960 Honey, I don't want you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. 662 00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:21,680 Look, no, no, no, no. I'm uncomfortable. 663 00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:24,120 I don't want anyone banging my girlfriend. Call me a weirdo. 664 00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:27,200 I love you, but I no longer believe in monogamy. 665 00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:30,360 I don't believe in the dirty things that those people do, people like my parents. 666 00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:32,240 Okay, fine, now what do we do? 667 00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:36,800 But I'm telling you to do whatever you want to. 668 00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:39,160 But you shouldn't say that. You should support me, man. 669 00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:40,880 You're not the center of the universe. 670 00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:43,240 I think it's amazing that you wanna be an influ-- 671 00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:45,640 Creator of content. 672 00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:48,920 But there are millions. Millions, Daniela. What makes you so special? 673 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:51,560 When you talk to me in that condescending shitty little tone, 674 00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:53,840 as if you were my dad, I swear I wanna beat your ass. 675 00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:57,760 You're the one that treats me like a fool. "Reinvent yourself, go with the flow." 676 00:32:57,840 --> 00:32:59,440 Here I am fixing the faucet. 677 00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:01,760 -Taking dopey photos. -You're the one who offered to do it. 678 00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:03,520 And do not get me started on that trip. 679 00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,280 Ah-ah! So you don't wanna go on vacation with me? 680 00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:07,280 -With you, yes. -Sure. 681 00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:09,640 But not with your sister, Miss Treatments, God no. 682 00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:11,640 -But yes, I'll come with you. -Hey, listen. 683 00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:14,440 If you're pissed because you got fired, don't take it out on me, okay? 684 00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:17,320 I'm not pissed, my love. I'm reinventing myself. 685 00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:20,080 Go fuck yourself. 686 00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:22,400 And go get unemployment. 687 00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:28,040 Don't you worry. I'll go to Tenerife by myself. 688 00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:35,480 Good. 689 00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:36,600 That look hot? 690 00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:38,880 -Care for another margarita? -Yes, thank you. 691 00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:43,520 Oh, and a shot. Uh, anything.