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A NETFLIX SERIES
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[Pedro] Santi back against the wall
won't return a single ball.
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-Yeah, yeah.
-[Pedro] Don't say that. Just do it.
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You'll remind me a hundred times
during the match anyway.
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A toast to my daughter, who is a lesbian!
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So screw all you, you perverts,
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because nobody
has inserted their pen drive,
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wet the turkey,
or stuffed the churro or whatever.
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[Luis] Wrong way around.
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How was your date? Did you get laid?
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Okay, who's serving now?
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-Well, we're still just waiting on Raúl.
-Such a pain in the ass.
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Hey, now, look who's here.
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What you got there, dude?
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-Broke up with Luz.
-Oh shit.
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-You okay, man?
-Me? I'm fucking great.
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Who can host me for a few days?
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[all grunting]
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[Luis] All right, let's do it.
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All right, guys, let's go. Let's go.
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Let's go!
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Straighten out.
Can't you see the white line?
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Am I crossing over it?
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Tomorrow is your ninth driving test.
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Tenth test.
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-The cyclist! Safe distance away.
-[driver gasps]
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I'm crossing the solid white line.
That's four points.
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-You can cross it to overtake him.
-You sure?
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-Yes.
-[cell phone ringing]
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-[sighs] Yes, Erika. What's he done now?
-[blows whistle] Let's go.
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Kid, gotta get off your bike
on the crosswalk.
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[girl] He totally ignored you.
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Come on, come on, let's go.
Let's go. Let's go, please. Come on!
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[whistles]
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[cell phone ringing]
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ESTHER SWEETHEART
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[whistles] Come on, move it!
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[ringing continues]
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Oh, not again.
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[chuckles] Uh.
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-Yeah. Yes, honey. Tell me.
-[Esther] Were you ignoring me?
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I was just helping
some pedestrians cross the road.
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-[Esther] Gabriel, brake now!
-[tires screech]
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-[Esther] Let's see. Let's see.
-What… what the… stop!
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-Stop, stop, stop! Here, here.
-[Esther] Can you stop?
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00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:17,560
Ulises got a hold of some scissors
and cut off the braids of three girls.
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In class?
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We need to medicate him now.
Parents are complaining.
49
00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:23,480
And your sure they didn't set him up?
Girls are troublemakers.
50
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They might be framing him for everything.
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Luis, your son is suffering
from attention deficit hyperactivity.
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-We gotta medicate him, period.
-[sighs]
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You pick up his medication?
No. Well, I'll do it. To the pharmacy.
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-[tires screech]
-Whoa, whoa!
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-[Gabriel] Sorry, I didn't see him.
-Please, go ahead. Go on.
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You didn't see him?
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[blows whistle]
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[sighs]
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"Laundry detergent." [sighs]
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[cell phone ringing]
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JC PRIVATE BANK
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-Juan Carlos.
[Juan Carlos] How are you, Pedro?
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Listen, I saw that 103,000 euros were put
in your account.
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Uh, yeah, it's the bonus this year.
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Fuck. They must be happy with you.
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You should invest it, right?
At the moment, our best bet is the US.
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Yes, the Federal Reserve has
reduced incentives, but the macro data.
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Uh, no, no, I'd rather leave the money
in my account for now.
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All of it? Are you gonna buy a new car?
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Asking because you might be interested
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in what we've done
for clients like yourself.
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[Pedro] Hey, listen, Juan Carlos, sorry.
I'm about to enter a meeting.
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"Zucchini."
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[exhales]
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Hey-hey! Ha-ha!
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"Carrot."
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[man] This is like a business.
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First, you have to invest in the product,
and in this case, you are the product.
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What does Daniela Galván
have to offer the world?
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00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:52,840
Uh, well…
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Everything. Because being an influencer
is something you're born to do.
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[Daniela] Mm-hmm.
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Patricia, if you need detergent,
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write the brand
because there's tons of 'em.
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Sorry, sir. The lady usually goes.
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-And she knows which one to get.
-Patri, shh, shh!
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[man] You have to
make people wanna be like you.
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But deep down, they can't ever be.
You get me?
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Yes, yes.
I mean, intimate but unreachable.
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I get it. I get it. [chuckles]
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Well, Jonás.
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[kisses] Thank you.
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[Jonás] Things are in motion, gorgeous.
Go create, create!
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[Pedro] Who was that guy?
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My agent. [laughs]
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Cynthia hooked me up with her agency.
They work with, like, 50 top influencers,
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cream of the crop.
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Sir, did you get one zucchini?
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[exhales] Because it said "zucchini,"
singular.
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If you want more zucchinis,
write "five, five zucchinis."
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[Daniela] They're gonna get me
publicity work.
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Last year they did
more than 1,500 campaigns.
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My God, it's unbelievable. [squeals]
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Are you proud of me?
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-I always am, my love. Wanna go out?
-Hmm.
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Uh, I can't. I'm busy.
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You can hang out with your buddies, right?
Enjoy yourself. You have time now.
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-[Pedro] They're all working.
-[Daniela] Hmm.
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[Patri] You forgot the dust mop too.
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[Santi] To be honest, if I were you,
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I probably would've gone with Pedro, huh?
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You know, he's got a maid,
an awesome pool.
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-You'd have your own suite and bathroom.
-No, no.
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This way, the bachelors
are back together, huh?
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-We'll have a fucking blast here.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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How long you staying here?
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Uh, until I find something,
two days, a month.
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No, I mean, it's just 'cause my daughter
needs her dad right now, you know.
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-And I'm not sure that this will help.
-Álex? She loves me.
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She won't even notice I'm here.
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Yeah, I know. You remember
how small our place is, right?
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If you don't want me here, tell me.
Don't beat around the bush.
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-No, come on. It's not a problem at all.
-Okay.
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Wait here.
Pretend we didn't come together.
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What?
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Yeah, come on.
In ten minutes, ring the bell.
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-And I'll pretend I didn't know.
-Wait here ten minutes?
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-You come in all upset.
-I'm not pretending I'm upset.
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You gotta pretend you're upset.
My daughter isn't stupid.
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Whose house is this? Yours or hers?
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[scoffs] Just wait here
for a bit and shut up. Come on.
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Shh!
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[sighs] Hi, honey.
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-[clears throat] Um…
-Nieves, 41.
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Adventurous, everyone's friend,
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and more of an early bird
than a night owl.
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She'll meet you for dinner at nine.
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That's great. Um…
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[inhales] Uh,
I have something to tell you.
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I get it. I won't bring people back here.
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No, no, no, no,
I think it's great, but really.
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You know, you can't beat sex at home.
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-How about this idea?
-Hmm?
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If one of us gets lucky,
we turn the doormat upside down.
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-What for?
-[Álex] Dad, it's a code.
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So when the other person gets home,
they don't come in.
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[Santi] Oh.
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00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:30,520
Hey, does your Mom know you're a lesbian?
Can I say "lesbian," or is that wrong?
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I prefer not to define myself.
I'm not into labels.
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Uh, you said Nieves, huh? Mm-hmm. Nieves.
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-Are you all right?
-[Santi] Huh?
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-Yeah, honey, of course I am.
-[doorbell buzzes]
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Oh, the doorbell.
That's the doorbell, yeah? That's--
154
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Didn't hear the intercom. How weird.
155
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Wonder who it is.
156
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:52,560
Raúl, how are you, bud?
What a surprise. What brings you here?
157
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:54,680
-I broke up with Luz.
-Jesus.
158
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But I'm not upset about it.
159
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,480
What do you mean not upset? Come on.
160
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,240
No way, but that's tough,
161
00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:01,800
but what happened?
'Cause you were doing well, no?
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00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:05,000
Well, here I am.
Nowhere else for me to go.
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[Santi] Uh-huh.
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00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:11,200
Well, I guess. Here is a little messy.
And how can we help you? Hmm?
165
00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:13,760
Well, I don't know. You got any ideas?
166
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:18,480
Uh, let's see. I'd gladly let
you stay at our place, obviously.
167
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-But, you know, now that…
-[Raúl] Mm-hmm.
168
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,200
I've got Álex staying here with me.
169
00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,080
-It's… oof. Well…
-[Raúl] Hmm.
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Pfft. Uh…
171
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[clears throat]
172
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He's crashing here, huh?
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Mm-hmm. Okay.
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[whispers] Let's go.
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BLOOD TEST
176
00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:39,080
Yes, Luis,
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00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:43,120
it seems that you have early onset
of unspecified testicular hypofunction.
178
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Damn it. And so that means?
179
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,000
That your testosterone's
a bit low for your age.
180
00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:51,480
Oh, right.
See, I'm not normally this tired
181
00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:53,600
or this depressed and since--
182
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When I heard the ad on the radio,
I knew I had to come in.
183
00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:57,560
Something's wrong.
184
00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:00,880
I've got some good news.
The solution is very simple.
185
00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,360
One injection a month.
186
00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:04,160
[snaps fingers]
And it'll change your life.
187
00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:05,600
Okay, I'm ready.
188
00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:09,560
Is there a pill form instead, hmm?
189
00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:27,040
Oh, God. [mutters]
190
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,600
Oh, God.
How could you give this to your boy?
191
00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:32,800
Well, that's what the neurologist
gave him to try and stabilize him.
192
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:34,720
-These are uppers.
-Nuh-uh.
193
00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:37,720
"Ingredients, dextroamphetamine."
194
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:38,680
Oh, they're uppers.
195
00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:40,280
Kid's gonna get hooked.
196
00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:43,000
But he told me to give him
a quarter of a pill, like this.
197
00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:46,240
We used to take a quarter of a pill
at that festival in your town.
198
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,760
-And we'd hallucinate Smurfs.
-All right, all right.
199
00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:50,120
And I ended up marrying one.
200
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:52,320
-I wouldn't give him that.
-[Esther] What should I do?
201
00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:54,600
He can't concentrate,
won't stay still, won't keep quiet.
202
00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:56,600
He hits people. He interrupts everybody.
203
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:59,240
He's hyperactive.
He has no follow-through.
204
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:01,960
He's always tapping his fingers
on every surface.
205
00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:03,160
Hey, and what about therapy?
206
00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:05,960
-It's slower, but there's no drugs.
-[Esther] He's seen a psychologist.
207
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,640
Look, quit bugging me.
You're my friend, damn it.
208
00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:10,560
Just say I'm right about it all.
209
00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:13,280
Just stop it with the goddamn leaflet.
You're getting on my nerves.
210
00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:15,480
I can never fold it back the same way.
Drives me crazy.
211
00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:18,840
[sighs] More coffee?
212
00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:20,520
No, because of you, I want wine now.
213
00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:22,280
[Luz] Weren't you going to the gym today?
214
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:25,360
You can sell your car
without ever leaving your home.
215
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:27,840
Check out what she's wearing
just to sell a car.
216
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:30,720
-It really is so easy.
-Don't you like her? She's super sweet.
217
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:31,800
Well, sorry.
218
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:34,720
I can't be friends with someone
who has zero cellulite on her thighs.
219
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:35,680
It isn't normal.
220
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,480
It's not her fault
she has that metabolism.
221
00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:39,280
And what did I do to deserve mine?
222
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:43,560
[Daniela] Ask me anything.
223
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:46,200
You sold your Mini?
224
00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:49,000
Because I gotta buy clothes
until I get them comped.
225
00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:49,920
And… [sighs]
226
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,040
…a makeup artist
and rent some handbags, jewelry.
227
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:53,800
Darling, it was a gift to you.
228
00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:55,800
Well, now we have one car.
That's enough, no?
229
00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:57,080
And you have your bike too.
230
00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:59,040
And how do you have 100,000 followers?
231
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:00,960
I got 20,000 from my sister,
232
00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:03,640
and I bought 80,000 followers. [laughs]
233
00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:06,200
-You bought followers?
-[Daniela] With cash from the car.
234
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:08,760
Who are all these people? They robots?
235
00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,280
No, no, no, no. These likes are real.
You pay extra for that.
236
00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:13,800
-It's a crazy scene. It's very freaky.
-Wait.
237
00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:15,720
Are you telling me
that you spent the money
238
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,160
from the car to buy likes
from complete strangers?
239
00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:19,560
I also just bought a drone.
240
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,240
-A drone?
-[squeals] Yes!
241
00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:22,400
To take aerial shots.
242
00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:26,280
For when I do yoga out by the pool
or when I go out jogging.
243
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:28,680
Darling, I've got a brand-new one
in the garage.
244
00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:30,320
How would I know? You haven't unpacked.
245
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:31,960
And who's flying it for you?
246
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,960
[whirring]
247
00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:53,240
Where's that loser going to sleep?
248
00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:56,080
[chuckles] Well, on the couch
or the bathtub. There isn't anywhere else.
249
00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:59,120
-He's the famous Mr. Foreclosure, no?
-It wasn't his fault.
250
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:02,800
The housing crisis crash-landed on him.
You know, his clients stopped paying him.
251
00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:06,040
Yeah, well, he's putting his underwear
in your DVD cabinet.
252
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:11,560
[Santi] Hey, man, why are you
putting them in there? Come on!
253
00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:13,560
Dude, what should I do?
I gotta take 'em out.
254
00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:15,680
I can't wear wrinkled clothes
at the restaurant.
255
00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:17,400
-Make room in your closet.
-[Santi] Hmm.
256
00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:19,920
-[Raúl] We're going out tonight, right?
-[Santi groans]
257
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,080
Dad, Nieves.
258
00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:24,240
Yeah, Nieves. Uh, no.
I'm meeting someone from Tinder.
259
00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:27,120
You're trying to meet chicks online?
That's for losers, man.
260
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:28,440
And that's according to you?
261
00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:30,000
And what would you know, child?
262
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:32,000
You gotta charm women in person.
263
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:34,520
Where's the best place to score? The bars.
264
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:36,040
Okay, Gen X.
265
00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:37,280
-[Santi] Hey, uh, honey.
-What?
266
00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:39,760
Couldn't you reschedule Nieves
for tomorrow, for example?
267
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:41,920
[scoffs] What do you think this is,
a manicure?
268
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,960
I've been working on her for four days.
269
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:47,400
All right. Okay, tomorrow we'll go out.
270
00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:49,400
Uh, no. Tomorrow's your date with Lorena.
271
00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:50,960
Lorena, who's Lorena?
272
00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,800
Don't set up so many, okay?
I get all mixed up.
273
00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:56,800
Got you on a leash, huh?
274
00:12:57,760 --> 00:12:59,440
There's an outbreak of syphilis.
275
00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:24,600
-[clicks]
-[grunts]
276
00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:27,520
-[clicks]
-[grunts]
277
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,360
Hi, how are you? I'm Guillermo.
278
00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:35,160
Um, is this your first time here?
279
00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:36,280
Is it that obvious?
280
00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:39,640
No, because you're wearing every item
we give you when you sign up with us.
281
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:43,080
No, the gym bag's in my locker.
The magnetic key sucks, by the way.
282
00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:45,680
[chuckles] Okay. Uh, well, tell me, uh…
283
00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:47,040
-Esther.
-Esther.
284
00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:50,080
What are your goals?
Improving your cardio, losing weight?
285
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,120
If I could look less like a Minion,
that'd be good.
286
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:53,920
[chuckles] Hey, there, you're not so bad.
287
00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:57,880
Hey, listen, I'm teaching
a body rhythm class. You up for it?
288
00:13:58,520 --> 00:13:59,560
What's that?
289
00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:02,840
-[dance music playing]
-[Guillermo] Come on, four, three!
290
00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:04,280
Hands up!
291
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:07,640
Turn!
292
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:12,080
Very good. Switch!
293
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:13,720
Turn!
294
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:16,280
Switch!
295
00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:18,080
Turn!
296
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:19,600
Come on!
297
00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:30,640
Hello, I had a little trouble
with parking, so I'm Santi.
298
00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:33,600
Hello. Uh, Nieves. Nice to meet you.
299
00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:35,880
-[chuckles]
-Yeah, delighted.
300
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,720
-This place is really nice, huh?
-Hmm.
301
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:39,080
You have good taste.
302
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:40,000
Yes, yes.
303
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:43,800
-Uh, uh, bathroom, be right back, okay?
-[Nieves] Want me to order you anything?
304
00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:47,280
[Álex] And so what if she's short?
305
00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:50,160
It's news to me that you only go out
with models from Victoria's Secret.
306
00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:52,040
It's not only that she's short.
307
00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:53,520
What else is it?
308
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,480
She's, uh, a little too curvy.
309
00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:59,880
Oh, Dad, don't be fat-phobic.
Nieves, well, she's an authentic beauty.
310
00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:02,280
No, she isn't.
Her photos make her look thinner.
311
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,520
Damn, if you gain 30 pounds,
update your profile.
312
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:07,760
Why? We have to combat
the body standard dictatorship.
313
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,160
-What's that mean?
-[knock on door]
314
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:10,280
Uh, one moment, yeah?
315
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:12,560
Well, the stereotypes of beauty imposed
on us by society.
316
00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:14,800
It's time to accept the fact
that beauty isn't a--
317
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:17,280
-Álex, you tricked me.
-Dad, ten bodies.
318
00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:19,720
[scoffs]
319
00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:22,680
[sighs]
320
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,640
Hey. Uh, why are you here?
321
00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:28,080
Having dinner with Alfonso.
322
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,120
[Santi] Wow.
323
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:31,320
And you? Are you following me?
324
00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:32,720
Excuse me. I'm on a date now.
325
00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:34,880
And you brought her here?
326
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,880
To the restaurant
where you proposed to me.
327
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,520
You brought your dentist here.
328
00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:40,680
It's not the same.
Alfonso is my boyfriend.
329
00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:44,240
Oh, oh, of course. That's why Álex
had braces all those years.
330
00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:45,520
Hey, where you going? Blanca.
331
00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:46,880
-I wanna meet your date.
-Stop.
332
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:49,480
Hello. Hi, there.
I'm Blanca, Santi's ex-wife.
333
00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:51,400
-[Santi] But she's just leaving.
-Oh! [laughs]
334
00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:54,200
-Don't get up. Don't get up. She got up.
-Hi. Hi, I'm Nieves.
335
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:56,560
Nice to meet you. What a coincidence, huh?
336
00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:58,480
It sure is. [chuckles]
337
00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:03,560
Well, just saying hi.
Hmm. You enjoy your dinner.
338
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:05,760
That's great. Go on.
339
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,680
-[clears throat]
-She's so pretty, right?
340
00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:10,480
-Hmm, no, she's average, a little.
-Yeah.
341
00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:14,480
Hmm. Okay, well, Santi, tell me about you.
342
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:16,560
Am I gonna fall head over heels for you?
343
00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:19,920
-[both laugh]
-Uh, I hope so. I hope so.
344
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:23,000
[both sigh]
345
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:25,560
[pop music playing]
346
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:27,680
YOUR STORY
347
00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:34,240
[laughing]
348
00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:35,800
[continues laughing]
349
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:37,760
[Pedro] Yes, go ahead.
Show off the whole house.
350
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,000
Because now some Albanian gang member
351
00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:43,480
will start following you and see
how to break in and how to get out.
352
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:44,960
Keep rowing. You're very tense.
353
00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:47,840
You forgot to show them
where the alarm sensors are,
354
00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:49,520
but you can save that for the room tour.
355
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:52,160
But we have security. Darling,
you brought me to live in a bunker.
356
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:55,360
And the city council will be thrilled
to see that we have solar panels,
357
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:56,480
but no license at all.
358
00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:58,640
Really, why all the stress?
My God, should I delete it?
359
00:16:58,720 --> 00:16:59,720
I'd prefer you did that.
360
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:01,760
What a pity,
after all the effort I put in.
361
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,200
Just don't see it's necessary
to show off our whole house.
362
00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:05,800
Okay, fine, I'll delete it. It's done.
363
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,440
-Done, took it down.
-[panting]
364
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:13,520
[Daniela] Honey.
365
00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:16,560
-What?
-[shutter clicks]
366
00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:17,880
[Daniela] Stay there, photo.
367
00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:20,480
People are asking me
if I have a boyfriend.
368
00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:21,840
[chuckles]
369
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:26,680
"This is my hubby, gorgeous."
370
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:27,880
[smacks lips]
371
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:32,560
I've just broken the hearts
of many Danielers. [chuckles]
372
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,160
Bathed and in bed by 9:13.
373
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,800
[sighs] They're
especially difficult tonight.
374
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:41,640
I don't know what to do about the boy.
Amphetamines, they're addictive.
375
00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:43,440
Look, the child neurologist
prescribed them,
376
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:46,040
not like we're buying
from the neighborhood dealer.
377
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,280
Have you read the side effects?
378
00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:49,800
Honey, what are you thinking?
379
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:52,080
You never read
the informational leaflet, never.
380
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,200
-"Palpitations, changes in personality."
-[sighs]
381
00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:58,960
"Suicidal thoughts,
rashes, muscle spasms."
382
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:00,280
You gonna read the whole thing?
383
00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:04,000
[Esther] "Neuroleptic
malignant syndrome, priapism."
384
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,640
"Loss of appetite. Weight loss as well."
385
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:09,640
You know, I don't understand why
you insisted so much on seeing a doctor
386
00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:11,000
if you don't trust their opinion.
387
00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:13,000
I do trust them.
These are dangerous though.
388
00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:16,360
Look, Esther, we spent a lot of money
on the psychological evaluation,
389
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:17,920
the blood tests, the checkups.
390
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,240
And today he's playing a hairdresser.
391
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,560
But if it's a carpenter tomorrow
and smashes kids with a hammer,
392
00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:25,360
he'll be kicked out of school,
and then what?
393
00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:27,040
Oh, no, no, no. Let's give him them.
394
00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:29,880
Right, it's settled.
Tomorrow we start drugging our son.
395
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:32,360
What was I-- [sighs]
396
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:34,960
You look beautiful.
397
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:37,440
[kisses]
398
00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:41,800
Hey, darling, you know,
these muscle aches are killing me.
399
00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:43,720
So soon?
400
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,080
When you haven't
worked out in years, yeah.
401
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:49,000
That sounds like an excuse.
402
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:51,280
Luis, let's not argue about this now.
403
00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:52,360
No, no, don't worry.
404
00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:55,000
But, remember,
don't complain about it later.
405
00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:57,160
[exhales] I wanna fuck.
406
00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:00,280
I wanna fuck.
407
00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:01,200
Tomorrow, okay?
408
00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,120
Sure, sure,
just fit me into your schedule.
409
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:04,240
[light clicks]
410
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:18,720
-[wrapper crinkles]
-[coughs]
411
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:32,320
[door closes]
412
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,200
Dad, successful night, right?
413
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,200
Another one down. [grunts]
414
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:40,080
Fuck. Well, give us the details, dude.
415
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:41,680
You sure woke up quickly, huh?
416
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:42,760
Hmm.
417
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:47,320
[Santi] Well, nothing, we had some dinner.
Some pretty good ceviche.
418
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:48,720
We went back to her place and…
419
00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:50,040
[both gasp]
420
00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:52,400
[Santi] Everything was great.
421
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:54,080
She's nice, yeah.
422
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,880
[Álex] So her unconventionally beautiful
body type wasn't an issue?
423
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,160
-No, no, no, no. Not a problem.
-[Nieves panting]
424
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,520
[Santi] But I don't know.
I prefer a different kind of girl.
425
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,640
-Oh, damn, oh!
-[both shout]
426
00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:07,000
[Álex] If that's the case,
why'd you end up in her bed?
427
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,880
I don't know, because I was already there.
Didn't wanna offend her.
428
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:13,000
A courtesy fuck, what a gentleman does.
Says a lot about you.
429
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:13,920
What the hell.
430
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,360
You could have come home and slept.
431
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:18,720
Instead, you fucked her like a champ,
and you gave her a morale boost.
432
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,680
[Álex] That's right.
First you get her hopes up,
433
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:22,520
then reject her
and give her more complexes.
434
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:25,960
What complex though? She wore this
tight dress showing off her giant boobs.
435
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:28,760
Well, it makes her feel feminine.
You guys are embarrassing.
436
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:31,160
But why's he have to fix
other people's complexes anyway?
437
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:33,440
-He's got enough of his own.
-Hey, but--
438
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:37,480
Okay, so what? I'm supposed to feel
guilty because I like thinner ladies?
439
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:40,680
You could be missing the girl of your
dreams 'cause she isn't the right size.
440
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:43,960
Listen, look at my buddies' girls, okay?
There's Luz, Daniela, you know.
441
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:45,360
-All hotties.
-Sure.
442
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:46,960
Because those guys have no personality,
443
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:49,080
they need
to reinforce their fragile male egos.
444
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:50,520
What are you even talking about?
445
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:53,760
Okay, well, I'm gonna shower.
Got three appraisals today. [sighs]
446
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:57,000
-[Álex] And your date with Lorena tonight.
-God damn.
447
00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:02,560
[Raúl] Stop finding more dates
for your dad.
448
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:05,800
Can't you tell he doesn't like it?
Guy hasn't scored this much in his life.
449
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:07,880
It's unnatural.
His brain isn't ready for all this.
450
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:09,840
You don't care about my dad.
451
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:13,080
All you want is a little buddy
at your booze fests for abandoned losers.
452
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:15,440
I wasn't abandoned, okay?
I left her, and she's a mess now.
453
00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:16,600
You sure?
454
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:17,960
-[Raúl] Hmm.
-[cell phone chimes]
455
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:18,880
Wait.
456
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:21,680
A text from Luz.
457
00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:26,880
She wants to meet up today.
She's regretting it already.
458
00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:29,160
Oh, yeah, regretting what?
I thought you left her.
459
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:32,040
You're… you're…
you just don't get these things. Get lost.
460
00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:34,560
Get lost, go study.
You couldn't understand.
461
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:41,680
Here, I've got some toasted flatbread
with avocado, olive oil, and bean sprouts
462
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:45,920
and chia pudding with oats and mango.
Let's try it.
463
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:48,360
See what it tastes like. Let's see.
464
00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:51,480
Mmm! Mm.
465
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:55,840
The chia, it's like
falling head first into the sand.
466
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,760
No. I definitely prefer churros.
467
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,720
Ladies, we're losing
our greasy traditions, what a shame.
468
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:02,920
What a shame.
469
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,560
[kisses] Have a happy day,
my virtual family.
470
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:08,560
Mm. This goddamn chia.
471
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,000
Mm. I'm off to the salon.
472
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,200
-What's up today? What are your plans?
-Hmm, uh, plans are fluid.
473
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:15,080
Maybe you could go and unpack,
right, darling?
474
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:17,280
-Right now?
-I don't know or go get a checkup.
475
00:22:17,360 --> 00:22:18,440
A checkup, why?
476
00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:20,400
I don't know,
take advantage of your free time.
477
00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:22,960
I don't see the link between
opening boxes and getting a checkup.
478
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,240
I'm taking your car.
479
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:28,000
You're not working today either, sir?
480
00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:30,600
Can't you see that I'm here?
481
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:47,120
[slurps]
482
00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:52,120
-So, did you drug the boy?
-Yes, yes, all done.
483
00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:02,720
[slurps]
484
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:15,040
[Raúl] Mm.
485
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:17,640
[Luz] Mm.
486
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:21,280
Sorry. I'm staying at Santi's place,
and you know. [chuckles]
487
00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:23,920
There's only one bathroom,
and we share a shower.
488
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,960
-[chuckles]
-Don't worry. How are you?
489
00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:30,720
Fine. Fine, yes. Very busy. Hmm. You?
490
00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:33,520
-Well, I've been thinking and…
-Me as well.
491
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:35,520
-I don't think we should--
-Be apart.
492
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:38,440
I knew you'd wise up.
You're a bit headstrong at times, honey.
493
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:39,360
-No, come on.
-No, no.
494
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:41,160
The important thing
is you see your mistake.
495
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:43,000
I'll come home.
Everything's sorted. [kisses]
496
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:44,680
-Raúl, listen to me.
-Yes, yes, yes, yes.
497
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:47,400
We shouldn't hold your assets in my name.
498
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:48,920
It's a big responsibility for me.
499
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,680
-And it doesn't make sense now.
-Oh.
500
00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:53,560
Find someone you trust and arrange
an appointment at the notary public
501
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,080
to change it all, okay?
502
00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:01,600
But you--
503
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:04,080
You don't wanna get back together?
504
00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:06,280
No, sorry, my love.
505
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,680
SANTI'S GETTING MARRIED
506
00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:25,920
[chuckles]
507
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,840
BUT WE'RE NOT
508
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,360
[chuckles] Man, oh, man.
509
00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:35,240
Should I throw this out, sir?
Goes in the trash?
510
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:37,280
No, no, no,
that's the, uh, "I don't know" pile.
511
00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:39,120
I'm just separating things for now.
512
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,320
-But I can take the boxes, right?
-No, really, you go.
513
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:43,960
-Go do whatever you gotta do.
-Sorry, sorry, sir.
514
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:47,200
Stop following me, damn it!
515
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:55,560
2018 EXECUTIVE OF THE YEAR
516
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:03,760
You look fantastic, Esperanza.
You haven't changed. How do you do it?
517
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:04,840
[Esperanza] Surgery.
518
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:06,840
[exhales] Well, really, you can't tell.
519
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:10,120
Yeah, that's the idea. Okay, tell me.
520
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:13,720
Nothing, well, uh,
as you were all so interested in me,
521
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:16,120
well, maybe we could go over it again.
522
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:18,000
Pedro… [chuckles]
523
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:20,120
We made you that offer seven years ago.
524
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:23,000
I like to think things through.
525
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:26,320
First you said yes,
and then you left us hanging.
526
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:28,240
We even had the press release ready.
527
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:30,240
Well, there was a counteroffer.
528
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:33,160
Oh, come on.
You used us to improve your contract.
529
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,360
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Esperanza, come on.
530
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:38,760
Not at all, I mean, if…
if I offended you, I'm really sorry.
531
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:40,880
Well, yes, you actually did.
532
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:43,360
Well, the reason
that I wanted to talk to you.
533
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:47,280
[clears throat] Let you know
that right now I'm now available.
534
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:50,720
Well, good luck with that.
535
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,240
My very first paid job!
536
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:01,160
[pops]
537
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:03,480
[shouts] An eye contour!
538
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:07,400
-Where have you been all dressed up?
-Uh, having-- having a checkup.
539
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:08,440
-[both scream]
-[gasps]
540
00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:12,640
[chuckling]
541
00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:15,640
[chuckles]
542
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:21,400
[Julián] In the US,
that's where it pays to be a cop.
543
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,720
You can use your gun or shoot 'em
with your taser
544
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:25,320
if people look at you wrong.
545
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:26,720
God, how awesome.
546
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:29,320
Okay, but the kids there
also take guns to school.
547
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:32,400
Yeah, but people respect cops, okay?
They respect the institution.
548
00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:35,960
And they call each other "brothers,"
you know. So nice.
549
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:38,520
Do you want me to call you brother?
550
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:41,440
Well, not in public, no.
551
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:45,720
But if you feel like saying it someday,
like, in private, uh, I wouldn't mind.
552
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:48,280
God damn it, public drinking. Hmm.
553
00:26:48,360 --> 00:26:50,600
[crowd chattering]
554
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:56,440
What are you doing?
Our shift ends in ten minutes, you know.
555
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:57,600
Just follow me.
556
00:26:58,800 --> 00:26:59,960
Brother.
557
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:07,000
[Luis] Psst, hey, kids. Kids!
558
00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:09,480
You're in big trouble now.
Come on, show me your IDs now.
559
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:11,120
Come on, man. No, we were just leaving.
560
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,480
What? No, no, nobody's leaving here.
You pat 'em down.
561
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:15,640
-What's up with you?
-[boy] We haven't done anything.
562
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:17,480
Come on,
empty everything out of your pockets.
563
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:19,120
[chuckles] Are you out of your mind?
564
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:21,880
What did you say?
You fucked up. Just turn around.
565
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:23,960
-Hey, hey, hey. They're recording us.
-Come on.
566
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:26,320
Hey, phones away or I'll arrest you all.
567
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:28,240
-Come on, yeah.
-[Julián] Yeah, yeah, okay.
568
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:29,920
Get everything out your pockets.
569
00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:31,640
What, is something wrong?
570
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:40,680
-Hi, how are you?
-Hello.
571
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:43,000
-I wanna cancel my gym card.
-Why?
572
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,800
It's just I don't really like
your training system here.
573
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:48,480
-[receptionist] Uh…
-What exactly don't you like about it?
574
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:50,160
-Oh, hello.
-Hey, what's up?
575
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:52,200
Well, my body hurts,
and I've been crabby all day.
576
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:54,560
And besides,
I've found a more comfortable method.
577
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:55,480
What?
578
00:27:57,280 --> 00:27:58,960
Dextrimorol, 20 milligrams.
579
00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:00,520
-[chuckles]
-Amphetamines.
580
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:02,440
They prescribed them for my son's ADHD.
581
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,960
And I started them last night,
and I've only had tea today.
582
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:06,520
I'm not hungry. I'm like Kate Moss.
583
00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:08,560
You know that's very dangerous, right?
584
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:10,640
Whatever. In a month, I'll be a size two.
585
00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:13,560
Okay, what about the flappy skin?
I'm just saying, if you stop eating
586
00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:16,720
and you don't train, at your age,
in two months, it'll all hang.
587
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:19,200
Stop with the chemicals and get inside.
588
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:20,960
No, no. Besides, I don't have my gym bag.
589
00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:23,440
-Well, we have a store here.
-I pulled the back of my knee, so…
590
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:25,840
-We'll do some stretches, relax.
-I'm really not flexible.
591
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:28,520
-[exhales] Listen to me, uh…
-Esther.
592
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:32,800
Esther. Esther. Look, if you buy
a 20-session PT package with me.
593
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:33,920
-I swear--
-PT?
594
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:35,200
Personal training.
595
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:38,600
I promise that I'll get
your ass as hard as a rock.
596
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:40,840
You promise?
597
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:43,080
And I'll throw in
a personalized diet plan.
598
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:46,560
I'm gonna regret this. [sighs]
599
00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:49,880
Guys, you know,
everyone badmouths Covid all the time.
600
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:52,080
It's so easy to criticize the disease,
601
00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:55,000
but I will always be
very grateful to the Chinese,
602
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:58,240
because thanks to this virus,
I learned how to use a frying pan.
603
00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:01,000
We've all learned how to use a frying pan.
604
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:03,280
I think that's why
it's called a "pan-demic."
605
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:05,360
[laughing]
606
00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:08,680
You're enjoying the show, right?
607
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:12,640
Uh, um, sorry. I just don't
find stand-up comedians very funny.
608
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:14,600
They all seem a little pathetic.
609
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:17,160
Well, so much for my plan.
610
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:19,560
No, but, uh, I don't know.
611
00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:22,000
They're all just a bunch
of frustrated people
612
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,080
trying to monetize their misfortunes.
613
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:28,400
Or maybe other people's misfortunes,
which is even worse, in my opinion.
614
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,520
Yeah, and it's always like
they're looking down at us
615
00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:32,240
from their position
of public intellectual.
616
00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:34,080
Well, I find the whole thing so lame.
617
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:36,040
[scoffs]
618
00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:37,600
You all done now?
619
00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:39,680
-Hmm, well…
-I'll be back soon.
620
00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:43,280
[comedian] Don't tell me a funny
mountain lion joke, or I'll puma pants.
621
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:45,240
[audience laughing]
622
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:51,400
Well, I won't torture you any longer.
623
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:55,000
I'll hand you over
to my colleague Lorena Lorenzo!
624
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:57,080
[audience applauding]
625
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:01,760
Well, good evening, guys. How's everyone?
626
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:05,000
So before I get started
pathetically monetizing my misfortunes,
627
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:07,440
I'd like you all
to give a round of applause
628
00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:11,080
to my lovely Tinder date for the evening,
who hates stand-up comedians,
629
00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:14,200
but he's suffering through this
in hopes that he might get laid afterward.
630
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:16,280
[laughing]
631
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:20,800
Come on, Santi.
Hope is the last thing to die. [chuckles]
632
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:24,440
[Luis] You should've seen me.
633
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:28,320
There were about 20 or 30.
Yeah, like 30 kids.
634
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:31,240
-[whimpers, sighs]
-[Luis] And big kids. So big these days.
635
00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:33,960
-And Julián was scared shitless.
-[exhales]
636
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:35,600
[Luis] You coming to bed?
637
00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:40,680
Luis, I don't feel very well.
I… I can't breathe. I can't stop it.
638
00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:44,400
I mean, I'm having terrible palpitations,
but I'm super happy.
639
00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:46,880
[gasps] And I'm paranoid.
Take me to the ER.
640
00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:48,680
I'm not taking you to the ER. Drink water.
641
00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:50,600
No, no, no. No water.
I wanna see a doctor.
642
00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:53,080
-[Luis] It's that green tea you drank.
-Or those drugs I took.
643
00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:54,240
-What now?
-[Esther] Whoa.
644
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:55,760
[panting]
645
00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:58,360
I wanted to know they were safe.
Like a good mom.
646
00:30:58,440 --> 00:30:59,800
But how many did you take?
647
00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:01,760
Four, five pills.
648
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:03,400
Esther, that could make you sick though.
649
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:05,600
That's what I'm saying. Get dressed.
650
00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:08,160
-I'm having a heart attack.
-I'm coming, coming. Wait a minute.
651
00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:09,880
Is this another excuse to not have sex?
652
00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:12,760
-Look at me right now.
-Who in their right mind would do this?
653
00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:14,160
They make you lose weight though.
654
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:16,400
[Luis] I told you not
to read the information leaflet.
655
00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:18,400
[gasps] I'm blind in this eye.
656
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:19,480
[Santi] I laughed so much.
657
00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:22,720
Honestly. I mean,
I had my prejudices all wrong.
658
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:25,080
Of course, some jokes
were a little crude, you know.
659
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:29,280
The same jokes that men tell, but yes,
it sounds uglier coming from a woman.
660
00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:31,400
Because women are not as funny as men.
661
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:34,400
No, they're funnier.
Okay, well, I mean, you are, at least.
662
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:36,400
And besides, you write your own jokes.
663
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:39,440
Oh, yeah.
All on my own. Isn't it incredible?
664
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:44,440
Uh, sorry, don't get me wrong.
I didn't mean to sound patronizing.
665
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:46,520
-Santi, you're a textbook chauvinist pig.
-No.
666
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:50,800
No, no, no, no, okay?
No, I really get along with all women.
667
00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:53,640
I… I just wanted
to praise your… your performance
668
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:55,680
because, to be honest, it was nuts.
669
00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:58,880
-And the others were cunts, huh?
-Come on, you were better.
670
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:01,400
Nuts are good, but cunts not good.
671
00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:03,000
See where I'm going?
672
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:05,160
Look, it's just a figure of speech, so--
673
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:06,640
You think as you talk, sweetheart.
674
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:08,080
And we are what we eat.
675
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:09,240
What does that mean?
676
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:14,040
Nothing. No, it's just that I'm totally
out of my depth right now.
677
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:16,440
Look, we'd better get going
because it's getting late.
678
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:18,360
-Hmm?
-Oh, I thought we weren't…
679
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:22,200
If I had to rule out every chauvinist pig
I came across, my hymen would grow back.
680
00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:23,840
-Let's go.
-[chuckles]
681
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:26,600
Wait.
682
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:29,320
[moaning]
683
00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:35,760
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Just oral sex, okay?
684
00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:37,760
Uh, really?
685
00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:40,800
I'm sorry, but for me,
all penetration counts as rape.
686
00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:44,360
Oh, uh… sure.
687
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:47,320
Uh, okay, on it.
688
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:49,800
Mm. [chuckles]
689
00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:50,960
Santi.
690
00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:53,920
-[Santi] Mmm.
-It… it was just a joke.
691
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,600
But now that you're down there… [inhales]
692
00:32:57,400 --> 00:32:58,720
[sighs]
693
00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:02,480
[door closes]
694
00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:04,520
[muffled pop music playing]
695
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:06,400
Honey, why are you… honey?
696
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:08,000
-[typing]
-[Santi] Honey.
697
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:11,000
Why are you awake so late?
698
00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:13,400
I wanted to talk to you.
699
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:15,720
With me? What's up?
700
00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:19,160
Dad, one depressive at home is fine,
but not two.
701
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:20,200
[Santi] Huh?
702
00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:23,360
Your friend, he's holed up in your room.
He's been crying all night.
703
00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:24,720
What? Raúl's crying?
704
00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:27,920
-What's going on?
-Well, I don't know.
705
00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:30,280
You're friends.
Don't you talk about things?
706
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:33,840
Talk about things? No.
707
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:35,640
You're all so weird.
708
00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:37,720
Did you score with Lorena at least?
709
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:39,480
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
710
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:41,360
Hey, you think I'm a chauvinist?
711
00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:45,040
That's a yes.
712
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:48,240
Attention, beauty alert.
713
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:52,040
With this fabulous new
Francesca Fabbretti eye contour,
714
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:54,320
my crow's feet are a thing of the past.
715
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:56,800
Look here. You have to try it, ladies.
716
00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:59,160
-I'm telling you, it's incredi--
-Crow's feet, what's that?
717
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:00,800
She made 2,000 for that.
718
00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:02,960
She's earning more than you.
719
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:04,960
My job is a vocation. I save lives.
720
00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:08,000
You mean, like, when you hold
the stop sign at the crosswalk?
721
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:11,080
Hey, you guys,
why do we never talk about things?
722
00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:12,320
What are we doing now?
723
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:14,240
No, I mean, fuck, uh,
724
00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:18,320
you know, well, talk about our concerns,
about our feelings and stuff.
725
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:20,440
I don't know.
What we're really worried about.
726
00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:24,600
-Huh?
-I'd stop hanging out if we did that.
727
00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:27,640
Uh, last night you were crying.
Something must've happened.
728
00:34:27,720 --> 00:34:28,920
-Me?
-[Santi] Hmm.
729
00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:30,560
Must've been the TV.
730
00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:32,040
[chuckles]
731
00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:36,200
And you. How do you feel after getting
fired in such a humiliating way?
732
00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:38,480
-I feel fucking great. Can't you tell?
-[Santi chuckles]
733
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:41,760
-You get unemployment?
-No way I'm signing up.
734
00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:42,760
That's for losers, man.
735
00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:46,280
Right now I don't have
any issues that are that important.
736
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:50,240
Last night I was browsing the Internet,
737
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:52,600
and the term
for what's happening to you now
738
00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:55,120
is toxic masculinity.
739
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:57,680
Well, let's balance our pH then.
Another beer?
740
00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:00,640
-[Raúl chuckles]
-[sighs]
741
00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:05,200
Well, there is something
I wanna talk about.
742
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:06,440
Good.
743
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:09,160
Raúl, good, tell us.
What is it, buddy? Open up.
744
00:35:09,240 --> 00:35:11,760
Luz no longer wants my assets in her name.
745
00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:15,160
-[Santi] Hmm.
-So, do any of you guys wanna help me out?
746
00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:21,080
-Patricia, what's the matter with you?
-Sorry. I lost control of the robot.
747
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:24,720
[huffs] She loses more drones
than the Americans in Afghanistan.
748
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:27,000
Nobody answered my question.
749
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:31,320
-[Santi] Uh, beer? Yes. Yes, please.
-[Raúl groans]
750
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:55,280
[theme music playing]