A NETFLIX SERIES
-[birds chirping] -[insects chittering]
You've got a beautiful garden, man.
I planted this buffalo turf, which is awesome,
but it doesn't take root so well.
-[Luis] Hmm. -I really gotta water it a lot.
And the pool looks pretty good too.
[Pedro] Saltwater. Much better than chlorine pools.
Yeah, it's the perfect place to throw a birthday party for Ulises. Hmm.
-Wait, what? -[Luis] Yeah.
I'd like to throw a big party for him. He's still upset about the divorce.
And why do I gotta help fix your marriage shit?
[Santi] Let him use it.
The whole point of having a huge house is to share it with loved ones.
Says the guy with the shitty little apartment.
At least it's mine. You live at your girlfriend's, no?
[Luis] I wanna rent a bounce-house castle with a slide that goes into the water.
Why don't you have the party in one of those places with the colorful balls,
like other parents do?
Hey, man, this is a much cooler place. Hmm?
[sighs] Come on, dude. Don't worry.
I'll make sure the kids behave well and all.
[sighs] Okay, how many kids?
A few kids. Twenty.
Twenty kids? No way. They'll eat my grass, man.
They're children, not goats.
But, dude, I wouldn't ask you if I didn't have to.
[sighs] Okay, fine, 20. No more than that.
Well, their parents will be here.
-No parents in the pool. -Fine.
SOS.
We've lost four of the five commercials we had booked for this week.
-[Daniela gasps] -[cell phone chimes]
-All five now. -What?
Oh, and it looks like they've just rescinded your invitation to the Goyas.
-What? But I picked my dress for that. -They've taken that back too.
What else can we do? I've deleted all my content with Pedro.
You've been targeted, sweetheart. Just like in The Scarlet Letter.
And I'm also getting splattered by your shitstorm here, all right?
I've already posted that I think he's a giant asshole.
Give it a like. That'll help.
Tell your prick boyfriend to stop posting all that regressive he-man bullshit,
'cause it's ruining you.
Or you could dump him.
I love him, no.
-Just for now, you'll forget him. -Heartbreak will pass.
If you're cancelled, it's forever.
And what if I upload a video to Instagram saying that I'm a super feminist, but, uh,
I don't know, that opposites attract or--
-Don't do that. Do not talk to anybody. -No, no, no, no.
Just gotta wait out the tsunami.
Fall into a cyber-coma.
Do you seriously want to be with someone that thinks those things?
-But he doesn't think that. -You sure though?
-[Raúl] Duna. -What?
Did you get a lip ring?
Yes, you like it?
We're not running a punk bar, okay? This is a fine-dining restaurant.
Right, "fine-dining."
-That thing's just in bad taste, okay? -[cell phone ringing]
-Yes. -[woman] Raúl, it's me.
-Who? -Carmen, asshole.
Oh. Hello. No, well, you know,
since you called me Mr. Limp Dick, well, I deleted your number.
Let's meet at the usual place in half an hour.
[sighs] It's just… I'm busy now.
It's important. I gotta talk to you.
[line beeps]
What does she want now?
Jimena, 43 years, very athletic.
A lover of extreme sports, the gym, dancing.
Well, you two have nothing in common, but you never know.
-Oh, shit! Let's go, come on. -Who's there? My mom?
-No, Nagore, the drunkard. Come on. -[Nagore] Sebas!
-But, Dad, she already saw you. -Come on!
[Nagore] Sebas!
[laughs] What a coincidence.
Yes. How are you, Nagore?
You haven't called me back or anything.
Hmm, hey, well, out of respect for your breakup.
Yeah, 'cause you were so clearly in love with your ex.
What a son of a bitch. He's with someone else.
-Mm. It can happen. -Okay, let's celebrate together.
Oh, no, we can't. No, we've got number 29 at the fish counter, mm-hmm.
She's a little young for you. God damn, what you guys go for, really.
-No, no, she's my daughter. Álex. -Hey, hi, there.
Oh, well, you didn't tell me you were a father.
Yes, yes, I told you, Nagore.
-Okay, gotta go, see you later. -What a coincidence that we connected.
-Ciao, call me! -[Álex] Why'd she call you Sebas?
See what kind of women you find me, huh? I'll pass, okay? Really, I'll pass on her.
You're one body away from the target.
It's like abandoning a marathon at the final mile.
Okay, go on, go on. I'll go see Jimena, hmm?
Let's see if she's the love of my life.
Uh, no, you need ten hookups in order for your body to forget Mom.
Then you'll be prepared for the love of your life to appear.
Even then, you still might end up alone.
And you have to learn to be alone.
-[clerk] Next customer. -[gasps, sighs]
No way, come on. The boy can celebrate his birthday at home here.
I'll pass on that mansion, because the kid will realize that we're broke.
Don't be so damn stubborn.
He'll have great fucking time showing off to all his friends.
This week, it's my turn to have custody, so I'll make the decision.
[Luis sighs] Uh…
"In the case of a special occasion,
the minor will spend the morning with the custodial parent
until four in the afternoon,
and then transfer to the noncustodial until eight o'clock."
"Unless otherwise agreed by both parties."
That agreement hasn't been ratified by the court though.
Esther, I'm trying to win over Ulises because for some bizarre reason,
he's blaming me that you cheated on me with your personal trainer.
Yeah, because the children are very smart.
And they know deep down the breakup is on you.
Yeah, but the clown's retainer fee is non-refundable.
Then why don't you play the clown, 'cause it'd be free?
-Let's ask our son. How about he decides? -Okay.
Ulises.
With Mom.
That's a shame.
There was gonna be a bounce-house castle with a slide going into the pool.
Then with Dad, with my dad!
Well, I could hire a magician here.
Well, he can come to Dad's party.
[chuckles]
-It saves you from having to clean up. -Hmm.
-Didn't you say you wanted to talk? -Yes. Yeah, in a minute. In a minute.
[both panting]
-[line ringing] -That's it.
That's good. That's it. That's it. [moaning]
Raúl?
Raúl, what the--
-The fuck am I seeing? -Holy shit!
-Give it to me! -Turn that thing off!
-Carmen! -[both panting]
What the hell's wrong with you?
He dumped me, the motherfucker.
[panting]
-[Raúl groans, sighs] -Ugh!
-So why'd you screw her? -I don't know. Just force of habit.
The real loss is the money we spent on that course.
Yeah, well, Luz'll find out, and it'll all go to shit.
-We were doing well. -[Pedro] Sell it.
Go sell your share of the restaurant to Jero for a low price.
Then distance yourself from the two of them.
But my share belongs to Luz.
Get power of attorney. Go to the notary.
And what will I do with my life? I'm gonna go broke now.
Your choice. Business or girlfriend?
I'll go broke then. I'll reinvent myself again, huh?
[grunts] If Luz leaves me, I'll die.
Well, all that "If Luz leaves me, I'll die" stuff,
bet you don't care while fucking Carmen, huh?
[laughs]
You're a bunch of assholes giving advice.
[sighs] What's wrong? Are you okay?
The guys are downstairs.
No. Not okay.
I'm cancelled thanks to my boyfriend, the sexist asshole guru.
Okay, so you lost some followers. Not like it's the end of the world.
Fuck, they've already cancelled every one of my jobs.
I mean, Pedro, my God!
I finally find a way to make a living, and you come along and ruin it.
-What's your problem with my success, huh? -What's wrong with mine?
You can't go around saying those things. You believe this stuff?
Daniela, it's not me though. It's my avatar. You remember?
You told me that.
-Are you comparing that to what I do? -It's exactly the same.
We take advantage of how stupid people are in order to make money.
Capitalism in its purest form.
I don't project any hurtful messages. I don't hurt anyone.
Really, you don't?
You push 'em to consume things that they don't need at all.
And what's worse, you make 'em think that they can buy happiness.
-Whoa! -[Pedro] Those creams don't rejuvenate.
Skin is impermeable. That crap doesn't pass through the epidermis.
-What about my yoga classes? -That's just a way to show your ass off.
Which I respect, okay? But can we all just agree to call a spade a spade?
Not saying this just to piss you off,
but your shitty character is destroying you.
Since when are you such a feminist?
-Since you became such an asshole. -Relax. Let's try to get organized.
-We're a team now. -Pedro, do you love me?
-I do love you. -Then cut it out with all this bullshit.
-Stop with yours. -I started before this.
Daniela, my potential for growth is much greater than yours.
You've already topped out.
-[scoffs] Are we competing now? -[cell phone rings]
Yes? Yes, this is me. It's the network. [grunts]
Yes, Pedro Aguilar, the very same.
-Sure. Today? Yeah, no problem at all. -[sighs]
[Pedro] No, no, I can get there. I know where it is.
[Luis] Uli, it's your birthday tomorrow, big guy.
We're gonna have a great time together.
Wait till you see your Uncle Pedro's awesome house. You'll love it. Uh…
Uh, would you stop with the filters and talk to me?
Dad, we miss you so much.
You know I miss both of you so much, honey.
Mommy, do you also miss Dad?
[sighs] Luis, where did you leave the strainer for the pasta?
In the cupboard.
[Esther] No, it's not in the cupboard.
Everything is in the wrong place, God damn it, and I can't find anything!
-What's the matter? -[Esther] Nothing!
Hey, the cute gym guy that Mom knows went back to his old girlfriend.
He's a jerk.
Uh-huh. Uh, I just mean-- don't say that.
-Kids, hang up now. We're having dinner. -[beeps]
Hmm, Iris, very bad, huh? We don't talk about Mom's stuff.
But that's what you told Luz.
-[door closes] -Hi, honey.
You want some of this baked salmon?
Yeah, sounds good.
Oh, hey, um, I was thinking and…
I need a change of scenery.
I'm thinking about selling Jero my share of the restaurant.
Why though? You were doing so well.
Yeah, but you and I are entering a new phase,
and I'll need some new challenges.
So, Amsterdam's a no-go, huh?
Yeah, no, they hired someone.
But, hey, if you wanna sell…
Yes, yes. It's something I've been thinking about for some time.
But didn't you say that you just thought about this?
No, I mean,
I'd already been thinking about this. You know, I like to chew on things.
[inhales] Uh, hospitality biz sucks.
Well, that's what I always say.
Oh, and if you can't make it to the notary,
uh, you can give me power of attorney. I'll sign if you don't have time to go.
No, no way. I'll go, because you're a disaster.
You sure? There's no need to go, huh?
-I said yes, so I can check it all. -Okay, okay.
[inhales] But you gotta learn to delegate, huh?
[Marga] This hand is mine. Diamonds are trumps.
Well, no, I had the highest card.
But you saw clubs, and you still played spades.
Hey, Dad, either watch the movie or play cards.
-[cell phone ringing] -Concentrate.
Each round is taking forever.
Hello.
[Pedro] Hey, bud, I can't let you use the house for the party.
You're fucking kidding.
The gardener used this special fertilizer, so the grass is very toxic now.
You lay fertilizer in spring, don't you?
Besides, Daniela told me she doesn't want a big to-do,
'cause she's a little depressed.
I didn't say anything. He's trying to back out.
[Luis] Dude, I've already sent out the invitations.
It was a WhatsApp message, but everyone's already read it.
It's just that the TV network booked me for tomorrow.
-They'll be at your house? -[Daniela] No.
-So, what does that matter? -[Pedro sighs]
I just don't like the idea
of 20 dirty kids running loose around my house, dude.
-I told you I'd keep them under control. I'll help you, Luis. Don't you worry.
-Thank you, sweetie. See you tomorrow. -[gunfire blasting on TV]
Here, we dealt you in.
Pedro, your friend needs you.
-And that dumb grass can be replanted. -Sure.
[scoffs] You're not the one paying.
Because you wouldn't let me, asshole.
And it's not grass. It's buffalo turf.
"Me, me, me, me. Me, me, me, me."
Things with my ex-husband were more or less fine.
Then he secretly got a facelift and looked like Pokémon.
-[Santi] No. -Oh, yes.
I said, "What am I doing with this guy?" He can't even close his own eyes."
It was just so creepy.
Oh, God, please. No, he's got issues with age.
-Hmm. -Oof. Some people can't accept it.
-Mm-hmm. Hmm. -You said you were 43 years old, right?
-Mm-hmm. Yes. And you? -Hmm.
-Forty-four. -Hmm. Look, we're almost the same age.
Check that out, what a coincidence, right? The same age, yes.
For example, when you were little, what shows did you like?
Well, I used to like watching Heidi.
I also really liked The Crystal Ball, Candy Candy.
You watch anything in black and white too?
Uh, that's kind of a weird question.
No, no, no, sorry. It was just to get to know each other. That's all I meant.
Hey, ask me anything you want.
Yeah. You like having sex too?
Let me think.
Well, more than I thought I did.
[both sigh]
Oh, shit.
Oh!
Oh, so great. Very great. [laughs]
Going to the bathroom.
[Santi sighing]
[Jimena grunts]
[Santi exhales]
Oh, wow.
What a great body you have for-- for a 43-year-old.
[clicks tongue] Mm! Thank you.
[panting]
"1964"?
Holy shit!
-Hey, what are you doing? -Oh!
-Are you robbing me? -No, no, really, I wasn't.
Brad Pitt can rob me, like in Thelma and Louise, but not you.
I'm sorry, really. I was just curious about your age,
and, uh, are you actually, like, 58-years old?
[sighs] If I put in my real age,
I only get matches with these desperate old farts.
And besides, you also lied to me too, because I know you're 50 at least.
But I didn't lie to you. I am 44.
You're serious? Oof. Kid, take care of yourself.
Okay, but for me, age isn't even important, okay?
But your body's a problem for me though.
No way I'm gonna work out like a Green Beret every day,
just to snag a guy with a dad bod.
A dad bod?
Uh, my body's real.
It's, uh, authentically beautiful.
Come on, if I went to the gym though, in two weeks, I'd be strong as a bull.
-Huh? -[door opens]
Jimena?
Santi, you're officially a sexual predator.
No, worse, a gerontophile.
When you're 40, you go for 30-year-olds, not 60-year-olds.
Where you going?
To shut you all up!
That woman is seriously 58-years old? What's her diet?
Women really don't look their age these days.
When my grandma was 50, she looked like a grandma.
That was when women had nine kids.
What happened with Jane Fonda?
Well, she caught me looking at her ID, and she got mad.
[scoffs] Such a shame, 'cause her buttocks was…
Did you say "buttocks"?
Would you date a chick much older than you?
Well, the age thing is just a, mm, sexist hangup, you know.
You'll go from pulling off her thong to changing her diaper.
Oh, come on.
-[cell phone ringing] -[sighs] Oh, just what I need.
Hey, so we still playing? We've got the court until 12.
-What is it? [sighs] -[Blanca] Santiago.
You're gonna have to come and get me because I've been in a car crash,
and it turns out, the insurance is expired.
Blanca, I told you if you're gonna keep the car, you must renew the policy on it.
Ugh, you liar. And now he's saying it's my fault. Really, what an asshole!
-Who are you talking with? -The officer that's gonna fine you.
Who is comforting me because I'm having a nervous breakdown.
Really, Santiago. I'm asking you, please, can you explain it to them?
-Then fine. I'm on my way. -I'll send the location.
-Come on, dude. -You're leaving now?
-Dude, get over that bitch already. -[sighs]
Well, man, the car's in my name, and I could get in trouble.
Why's that car still in your name?
I really don't feel like responding to all these questions, okay?
See you later, bye.
I'm done with this, okay?
Well, that's even better. More time to celebrate his birthday now.
Fuck. Brilliant. [inhales]
[children shouting]
-Oh! Isn't this nice? -All right! [chuckles]
-A little joy in this house for once. -Don't give that kid candies.
It's just for one day.
It's just that with those amphetamines and the sugar,
he's like a wet gremlin now.
[chattering]
I'll be back.
Don't you dare! I'll beat your ass.
Get away!
-[Luis] What? -How much did all this cost you?
Well, less than it looks like.
Oh, hey, I'm sorry things didn't work out with your personal trainer.
Don't think I'm gonna be discussing that.
Come on, if he hurt you, I'll keep giving him tickets.
I'll have his license revoked.
-But I'm not like that. -[mutters]
But, hey, if he commits a violation one day…
[Luis] Hmm.
…it's your duty to penalize him. I think his vehicle registration's due soon.
Ulises, don't bring that water gun in the house.
Ugh!
-[Pedro] Esther, not inside the house. -[Esther] Pedro, I'm sorry.
Hey, see this? How stupid can people be when it comes to Internet fame and photos?
[scoffs] Yes, it's pretty pathetic, huh?
Pedro, can you take a photo with me?
I wanna show off that I met the sexist macho guru.
-Yeah, now's good. -[man chuckles]
[Pedro cackles]
-Thank you so much. [laughs] -Yeah. This guy gets it.
[sighs] Ah, I gotta get to that interview,
but I'm afraid to leave here.
It's all under control, man.
You're talking to an administer of law and order.
Get a move on.
[classical music fanfare playing]
What's up, everyone? Hey, José Ángel.
Pedro, how are ya?
Hey, I told you you'd be calling me soon enough.
-How are you, Cristina? -Happy.
You fired me for being a sexist pig, but called me back for the same reason.
Half of Spain hates you. That always gets an audience.
I also have my fans, huh?
Nuria says she can't wait to interview you. Are you nervous for it?
-Well, a little bit. I'm not gonna lie. -[chuckles]
That's it. Get yourself to makeup. You know where it is.
-We'll see you later. -Wait, hang on. I got a pitch for you.
Could you hold this for a sec, Cristina? Thank you.
What do you think about a series following a group of troubled macho men?
Machos Alpha.
Title's ironic, hon.
-Oh, wow, you don't say. -Sounds good. We'll talk about it.
Okay. I'll see you.
-Uh. Cristina. -Hmm.
So Alpha Males? He's serious?
Mm-hmm.
-[laughs] [huffs]
[Nuria] So today, we have a very special guest with us.
Maybe some of you still don't know him, but he holds the dubious honor
of having annoyed an enormous number of feminists,
and that includes our very own Minister of Equality,
with his videos opposing new notions of masculinity.
Uh, Pedro Aguilar, good afternoon.
How are you, Nuria?
I'm doing very well, but, well, uh, you've really caused quite a stir.
Yeah, well, society evolves, and new problems arise.
-We ought to seek out solutions to them. -Huh? Is feminism the problem here?
[inhales] I've been a staunch advocate for parity, equality and so on.
The roadmap for women has been very clear,
but for men, it's not so clear.
As of now, we're a bit in the woods.
Um, and your course on the reconstruction of virility,
I understand it's to enlighten us about the male gender.
[Pedro] And the female gender too. There are quite a few women
who are also fed up with the nonsense we're seeing.
Uh, do you expect us to believe that all of a sudden
men are the victimized ones?
Cis, hetero, white people, we're basically screwed.
Mm, take this asshole down. Please, come on, I'm begging you.
[Patri] Oh, ma'am. Ma'am!
The house is full of kids playing a game of hide and seek.
Wait, Patri, I'll be there soon.
The gentleman said kids weren't allowed inside.
Well, fuck the gentleman. He's really so full of shit.
-We'll go and sort it all out now. -Yes, uh, excuse us.
-What is this? Get outta there! -Come on, kids! Everyone outside.
-You have a huge yard to play in. -[door closes]
Psst, psst. Hey, there are more upstairs.
-I can hear 'em. -[Esther] God damn it.
Hey, come on! Get a move on.
Everybody in the fucking yard right now.
-You can't play in here. -Hey, Luis!
-Come on-- ah! -Oh, shit!
God, how many are there? Downstairs, asshole!
-Luis, watch the language. -Huh!
This is from you. After making that scene during that housewarming dinner, huh?
"I wanna fuck. I wanna fuck!"
Cut it out. Don't-- don't remind me.
I mean, in hindsight, we probably should've just fucked.
[chuckles]
[both moaning]
[panting]
Fuck, Esther. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
-Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! -There, there!
Oh! [panting]
-Well, come on. Come on! -Get this damn thing off.
I got it. [grunts]
-Come on, Luis. -Come on!
-Almost there. Here I come. Here I come. -[panting]
[both moaning]
-[Luis chuckles] -Quiet.
-Come on. Let's go. -[sighs]
-Hmm, hey, honey. Mm, how do I say this? -Hmm?
Um, if you notice something seems up with Jero, don't be surprised.
Why? Something happen?
No, just with this new open relationship thing, well…
I went and slept with Carmen.
What?
It was her, okay? For a long time, she'd been chasing me.
And I wanted a hot story I could tell you.
Because you were so insistent with that, so…
You didn't tell me this one.
I was saving it for our anniversary, uh, 'cause it's a great story.
The notary's waiting for you in room seven.
-[Raúl] Mm. -[Luz chuckles]
Is the other signatory coming? The notary's quite busy today.
[Luz] Hmm.
Hey, he's here.
[Luz] Hello, Jero.
Your ID, please, sir.
All right, so the two of you will be signing off
on the sale of the company's shares.
Uh, Barkeeps' Café and Tavern, which you're listed as owning 50%.
Correct?
[Jero] Yes, we shared everything.
Including my woman.
We were both fucking her. I just didn't realize it.
You wanna see the video?
What, there's a video?
I was gonna put the pen drive in the chocolate cake.
[Jero] He's a prick.
There's so many women out there. You had to go and fuck mine.
All right, Jero, it takes two to tango, okay?
Well, don't place so much importance on it,
because monogamy is a fallacy of our society.
-I agree. -So you're, what, a modern woman?
We have an open relationship.
You don't mind for the last two years, he's been fucking Carmen?
What do you mean "two years"?
Uh, no, no, no, no, no. It wasn't that long, no.
She told me everything.
-Raúl. -N-No, no way.
No, he must've misunderstood. He was mad.
I cannot believe this. You've been cheating that long?
-Don't you two have an open relationship? -Yeah, for the last three months.
Asshole!
-[scoffs] -L-Lu-- Luz.
Hey, honey.
It's-- hey, no, it's not like that.
Hey, don't-- don't listen to this asshole.
But are you going to sign the sale or not?
You're-- you're really throwing me off schedule.
[sighs]
[Nuria] What angers me is that you men don't acknowledge
that the old model of dominant masculinity
is incapable of adapting itself to the new reality
that we are creating through our own struggle.
You're all very scared of connecting with liberated women.
You're right. Us guys certainly need to evolve, but you women do as well.
The radical feminists are always comparing the penis to a weapon.
-But aren't they? -Not since you've emptied the barrel.
Excuse me, Pedro, are you joking?
[Pedro] The problem with this new man
is that it goes against our biological nature.
And we know wimpy guys don't turn you on.
-Here you go now with "wimpy guys." -[Pedro] Be honest with me.
When you were in school, who were you attracted to?
The tough guy with the motorcycle
who was always skipping class and smoking joints
or the nerdy guy with the glasses who failed gym classes?
Uh, me? The female Spanish teacher.
-[exhales] Oh, touché. -[Nuria] Okay.
And how is your partner. a certain well-known influencer,
taking her boyfriend's sudden boost in popularity amongst sexist followers?
Well, she's just overjoyed about my success,
and I about hers, of course.
Well, it can't be easy now for a public figure
to maintain a close relationship with you.
Because Daniela loves being with a man who's strong and sure of himself.
An alpha male.
Yeah, uh, we're taking a live phone call from her?
Daniela, good afternoon.
[Daniela] Don't make stuff up. I'm not enjoying this.
Um, uh, honey, I--
[splutters] What's up?
[chuckles] Ah! She's watching me on TV now.
I'm feeling embarrassed by you, to be honest, and I'm feeling sad.
-Because I just can't do this anymore. -What?
I can't be with someone who goes around saying this messed-up stuff.
I-- I have too much dignity.
Daniela, I'm sorry. Are you breaking up with him on air?
Please, tell me that you are.
Look, I realize this isn't the time or the place, but--
Uh, my love, honey… [chuckles]
Let's just-- how about we discuss this later at home, okay?
'Cause to be honest, I'm not understanding any of this.
Well, between me and your ego, your ego has won, Pedro.
So what else can I do?
-Goodbye. -No. No, no.
Hang on, hang on, hang on. Uh, Daniela!
-Daniela. -Uh, continue. You said before…
What were you telling me about the alpha male?
[door closes]
[water running]
-Hello! -[Santi] Hey, how's it going?
You look so beautiful. You're just-- wow, that's such an awesome T-shirt.
-Whoa! -Who's that in the shower?
Oh, I was just about to tell you.
Oh, Dad, you've got ten bodies now!
Well, now technically, it's 11, okay?
We can officially declare that you've totally erased your body's memory of Mom.
Hi, there, honey. How was your day at school?
Are you joking?
-[Santi] Uh, yeah, hmm, uh… -I'm gonna dry off. Don't wanna get cold.
What'd you do?
She's been much more affectionate than usual, honey, really.
Well, it's just--
We just had sex, oral sex. Your mom's never done that before.
-Oh, please, Dad, I really-- -No, not even on my birthday.
-On our anniversary, really, never-- oh! -Well, then. Hey!
Should we make a dinner reservation? I think this deserves a celebration.
Uh… [splutters]
-Álex, Álex, come on! -What?
-Can you delete my Tinder? -You go fuck yourself.
No, no, no, no, no. Uh, better if you hide my profile.
'Cause you never know.
-[chuckles] I'll-- -[scoffs]
[Santi clears throat] Uh, bye.
[exhales]
[Blanca] What's up? Was she not expecting it?
It was inevitable, no?
Uh, mm, yeah.
Okay, there you go.
-Mmm! -Dad, this was the best birthday ever.
[chuckles] Yeah, hasn't been too bad.
-[Esther] Mm-hmm. -Um, all right, let's get some rest, huh?
-Okay. Love you. -See you tomorrow.
Paola told me that you two had a fight earlier.
-Uh, we had a fight? How so? -[Luis] Huh.
That Dad kept slapping your butt, and both of you were shouting a lot.
Uh, and who is this, uh, Paola?
The winner of our hide and seek game.
Uh, go and tell Paola to stop lying, because it's not nice of her.
-Hmm? -Hmm. Yeah. Okay, good night.
-Good night, kids. -[Iris and Ulises] Night-night.
Well, guess that's it.
-I'll go. -Okay.
Uh, hey, what happened today at Pedro's?
We had an excellent fuck.
-Yeah, huh? [chuckles] -Yes.
But I don't know. What do you think it all means?
Well, that we're more attracted to each other when we're apart.
And that we're not original at all.
Yeah, but what's the solution though?
Because if we get back together, we're just gonna die of boredom again.
Yeah, but, uh, being separated is so uncomfortable.
-And a bit sad. -Yes.
Okay, so, there's, mm, no solution.
-[sighs] -There might be.
An open relationship?
[Raúl] Well, I'm all packed up now.
If you find anything that I've forgotten here, call me up?
Or I'll burn it.
Leave the keys there.
We're really ending this way?
-Insult me or something. -What for?
You're so cold all of a sudden.
[Luz] I'm not cold, Raúl.
I'm just so damn sick of all this stupidity.
I chose to share my life with what turned out
to be a childish, insecure, empty man.
Surprised I didn't breastfeed you.
[scoffs] You might have screwed a lot of women,
but you don't have any goddamn idea how to treat them.
Sorry, kid, you've come up short.
Oh, by the way. Uh, in the end,
I did sell your share of the restaurant to Jero.
Oh.
-How do we do this? Pay me in cash or-- -For one euro.
Here, you take it.
One euro?
[gulps]
Hello. I just got home, hon.
Hello!
Oh. There you are.
Oh, what a genius idea to break up with me on air.
It was perfectly pulled-off.
It's great because now you can regain your status
as an empowered and independent lady, and I--
What's with the bag? We going on vacation or what?
Pedro, I'm out.
Uh, hey, uh, you're joking.
Are you seriously leaving me?
[Daniela clicks tongue]
[Pedro sighs]
You gotta turn your life around, okay?
Patricia, you're leaving with her? After over 15 years of paying you?
That comment was very sexist. I left you spinach lasagna in the fridge.
Wait up, wait up, wait up, hon. What happens to our house now?
Supposed to be for the two of us.
No, you bought this place for you. It's yours now.
I prefer living downtown.
We're leaving. So many memories behind us.
Patri, stop making those videos.
-You're getting obsessed with it. -[Patri] Yeah, I am addicted.
[Patrick] What's it mean to be a man?
That's the question we asked ourselves at the beginning of this course.
The slow agony caused by patriarchy has exposed all of our miseries.
WHAT'S IT MEAN TO BE A MAN?
Our anger, our impotence, our confusion,
our fear of women, our hatred of ourselves.
The patriarchal man is a man who's unwell.
Since we were kids, society's ripped away our femininity.
Because the very first obligation of a man was simply not to be a woman.
-[TV playing] -[Patrick] But abdicating our privileges.
Renouncing our ambition and aggression, recognizing our vulnerability,
learning how to forgive
and dedicating ourselves to looking after our children and doing housework
does not make us lesser men at all.
[knock on door]
The hegemonic masculine ideal,
obsessed with success, power and strength,
is exhausting, and furthermore contrary, to the bisexual origin of all humans.
[Raúl exhales]
[Patrick] It's imperative that we agree to nurture behaviors…
-…traditionally considered to be feminine. -[Raúl sniffles]
[Patrick] But which also constitute part of who we are.
-[Pedro gasps] -[both clear throat]
[Patrick] And that's how we'll be able to eradicate misogyny and homophobia.
-[Pedro clears throat] -[Patrick] We are evolving men.
Halfway between the tough, insensitive man of olden day
and a new man. Androgynous.
Dual.
Solid, but sensitive. Virile, but tender.
That is our objective.
Good luck to you guys.
[sighs] Well, we're supposed to be deconstructed men now.
You got back with Blanca.
-Deconstructed, not sure. Destroyed, sure. -You're alone and ruined.
This is the first I've finished something since I took the officer's exam.
It was 20 hours.
-Don't be too proud of yourself. -[Luis] Well…
Yeah, we got the same.
Excuse me, are you Pedro Aguilar?
-Yes, ma'am. -Yes? [spits]
-What? -Such a shameless man.
[laughing]
You're an utterly shameless man.
-[laughing] -Assholes.
Who markets himself as a macho guru?
Whether to put this on my résumé, don't know if it looks good or bad.
This thing's totally useless.
Well, either the course failed us, or we're the failures.
-[chuckles] Huh? -[Raúl mutters]
Hey.
Whoa! What just happened here? You withheld a catcall.
[chuckles] Yeah, you held back, dude.
Well, you've taken away my spontaneity, and that's always been my forte.
[laughing]
There's still hope though. [chuckles]
I'm gonna get this framed.
Get mine done as well.
-With a passe-partout or without one? -[Pedro] Huh.
-Huh? With a what? -Passe-partout.
-Like, a passe-partout. -A passe-partout.
What's a passe-partout? What is a passe-partout?
-You know, kind of a… -What's a passe-partout? Explain it.
-[indistinct chattering] -[slow-tempo music playing]
You think this is important at all?
Hey, fuck you!
[theme music playing]