Morning. Morning.
Ah, I had really weird dreams about Mum last night...
..in this bed.
She was in here, but with a horse.
And the horse was... reading a newspaper.
Do you think she...
..did it...
in here... with him?
"Did it"? Well, what would you say?
"Made love." Ugh, no, God, no.
Well, you asked.
It's just...
..well, what about Dad?
I just need to get this part of the tender over for ten.
I thought we'd won something.
Turns out we've missed a whole bit of due diligence.
CAT MEOWS Can you hear something?
I'm gonna find a cafe, the reception here's useless.
It'd be easier to send a carrier pigeon.
Do you want some breakfast? No, I'm fine. Thank you.
Must be nice just having to sort yourself out.
Why, what are you doing that's so pressing?
No, no, I just, I mean in general.
I know what you mean. CAT MEOWS
Can you hear that?
CAT MEOWS Yeah, it's a cat.
Yeah, but I think it's coming from in here.
CAT MEOWS
I'll get the bags from the B&B and bring them back here, shall I?
No point in paying for somewhere.
Yeah, good idea.
Hey, hello. SMACKS LIPS
I don't think you live here, do you?
Oh... Oh. CAT MEOWS
Oh, what have you done? That looks sore.
That's a Manx cat, they don't have tails.
She didn't like cats. Well, it may not be her cat.
Well, that's her bloody cat bowl, though, innit?
CAT MEOWS
FUNERAL DIRECTOR: Any thoughts on who you'd like
to conduct the service?
Oh, she wasn't religious, really.
Weddings and christenings.
OK, well, I'm sure we can help with that.
Any songs or readings that were her favourite?
We stopped listening to music.
Well... I did.
She always had her earphones on, listening to...
..podcasts and whatnot.
Well, if anything comes to you, just let me know.
I should have asked these things.
It's very common for these conversations to not take place.
It's not something everyone likes talking about.
Yeah, but you never really know someone, do you?
I mean, you know the stuff they choose to show you,
and the stuff you choose to listen to.
But all the rest of it...
..they can just carry it around in their head.
How are you, Mum? BECCA: 'I'm OK. How are you?'
Yeah, good.
So, do you know why Gran was there yet?
I think she just...
..fancied a little trip for herself.
How's your dad?
Yeah, he's good. He worked the washer.
'Medal's in the post (!)
'How's Mol? I tried calling her, but she's not picking up.'
Oh, she's fine.
'You need to stop worrying.
'Are you OK, Mum?'
Yes, I'm fine.
'Listen, I've got to go. I'm gonna be late for work, but...
'love you.'
I love you, darling.
Yes, Nick. I've got that on the third line.
Hiya. Hi.
Um, listen, Nick, I'm gonna have to call you back.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I'm interrupting.
No, it's fine.
I've never milked an oat.
Milked many cows?
Yes, actually, I have. I was raised on a farm.
Where was the farm?
Fischer, Texas.
Not a lot of traffic through there.
Kind of like here.
What brought you here, then?
A man. Oh, really?
No, I liked England and I like Ireland.
And I thought, "Well, this is like somewhere in between."
And is it? Not at all.
No, it's, uh...
..it's its own place, you know.
It's unique. Unique good?
Most of the time. Small. I like that.
Look, your business is never gonna be your own for very long.
We know about Pete. Oh, you do?
Was it a full-on affair?
Well, they weren't exactly Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara,
but they were sweet on each other.
So, what's he like? Pete?
Uh, verbose.
A hugger.
He's a bit of a prig.
SHE SPLUTTERS Hey, I said prig!
THEY LAUGH
No, he's fine. He's fine.
He's just... He must have done something fancy
before he retired.
You know, he's the kind of guy
that no-one ever told him his shit stinks.
Right?
Yep.
Recognise that type.
Oh, oh, God bless him.
Rebecca.
I know you were having an affair with my mum.
Oh.
"Oh"? Is that all you've got to say?
No, I've got a lot to say, actually, if you'll let me.
Let me make you some tea at least.
Come in, please.
So, who was she? My mum.
Like, really?
Oh, she was charming, thoughtful, funny as hell.
Mum? Oh, that doesn't ring a bell?
No! Well, "funny" wouldn't be the first word
that would leap to mind.
What would be the first word?
"Normal." Oh, Lord!
God save us from the tyranny of normality.
What's your sister think about all of this?
Oh, she's horrified.
Had my mother pegged as a living saint.
Oh.
It isn't easy being a sister.
I say that from experience.
The world expects you to have this great deep bond
and my sister was a pain in the ass, God rest her soul.
I'm sorry. No, no, it wasn't her fault.
My mother babied me, and she was a bitch about it.
Hm.
Well, that's about $10,000 worth of psychotherapy right there, isn't it?
Well, my mum definitely believed in horses for courses.
And you got the steeple chase. Yeah.
She treat you girls differently?
You could say. Hm.
Well... what would you need to know about your mother
that might help you, Ros?
I don't know.
She wanted you to know.
She wanted to show you the island, the life that she'd chosen.
It's nice she thought she had a choice.
She didn't think to tell my dad, though.
My dad knew?
No, he didn't.
My dad loved my mum. I don't doubt that he did.
You loved her better, did you? No...
..I just loved her, that's all.
So... what did you do together?
What did you talk about?
We had a... a shared love of history...
of music... literature.
What literature?
Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights.
Edna O'Brien.
Maeve Binchy? Jackie Collins?
This is... So, what was her plan, long term?
She was just gonna busk it and wait for my dad to die?
Or she just saw it as a...
..dirty secret?
No... No.
It really wasn't like that.
She wanted to make the move here permanently.
No, she didn't.
Becca, please, what I'm saying is the truth.
And you must hear me because this is important.
She was happy here... really happy.
She told me that if anything were to happen to her...
she wanted to remain here.
No.
She's coming home.
I don't even know who you are,
you're just some bloke who found her dead.
You don't know her.
Becca, please... I know her.
She went to Flixton High School for girls.
Her first job was at Metropolitan-Vickers near Ringway,
in the accounts department.
She wanted to write,
but she thought that writing wasn't for people like her,
so she wrote in secret, and she wrote beautifully.
I would love you to see some of her writing.
No.
Becca. Becca, please.
You must understand that I cared very deeply for your mother.
DOOR SLAMS
Your bag's in the kitchen.
I went to see Pete.
And?
She was happy here, apparently.
And, um, you're gonna like this (!)
It was her wish to stay on the island.
And she can stay here for all I care.
You don't mean that.
PHONE BUZZES
Hello?
We've had the results from the postmortem.
I'm sorry to have to tell you this,
but your mother had consumed a lethal amount of morphine.
What?
How could that have happened?
Are you saying our mother...
..took her own life?
I'm sorry, but it does look that way.
Morphine? What...?
How was it taken? When was it taken?
The coroner will deliver all this in her findings
once all the information has been gathered.
Well, you need to get it gathered. What else is there?
That's what they're trying to do.
Was she taking it for pain relief, have you at least established that?
We're still awaiting her medical records from the UK.
Are they coming on horseback? I'll call the doctor's.
Who gave it to her?
Oh, she just took it herself, did she?
Dead woman OD'd on morphine, case closed. Is that it?
Why am I the one asking all the questions?
We are doing everything we can.
Can you tell if she took it on purpose?
I mean, how can you even know for certain?
The amount in her stomach suggests that it was taken in one go
with the purpose of ending her life.
The toxicology reports we're awaiting on,
hair strand testing, will show us if there was a history of use or abuse,
although there were no signs of any illness
that would support the need for morphine use.
Uh, and when will you get these reports?
Er, in the next day or two. And what if someone gave it to her?
We've followed up all lines of inquiry
and we have no reason to believe that anyone else was involved.
And you're not interested in where she got the morphine from?
Ms Ward, we are following all leads.
When we have a clearer picture we'll be able to say
if there's cause for a criminal investigation.
At the moment, it's... Right. Yeah, thank you.
..a matter for the coroner.
Was she taking morphine cos there was something wrong?
Was it too much for her, being here? Lying?
Becca?
What do you think? I don't know.
Well, you don't have to know, but you must have an opinion.
Bec, where are you going?
Becca?
PHONE RINGS
JIM: 'All right, babe?' Jim?
Alexa, put butter on my shopping list.
AMAZON ECHO: 'I've put butter on your shopping list.'
'All the butter's gone.' Jim?
'Didn't you only buy some weekend? Sorry, go on, babe.'
I found some things out about Mum.
'Oh, yeah?'
She was having an affair.
'An affair? Oh, Mary, you dark horse.'
No, not dark horse.
Why don't you listen?
'I am listening. I'm all ears, go on.'
No, it's fine. I'm gonna go.
Becca?
This lot can go to a charity shop.
Oh, so you're talking now?
Becca, we need to sort this whole mess out.
I'm gonna go for a run. Now?
Well, yeah. Why?
Is there something you think we should be doing together?
Nope. Right, then.
Pete, it's Rosaline.
SHE SHOUTS
Ah... Oh...
You OK?
Ah... Right?
Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. Here, give me your hand.
Give me your hand.
Argh. Whoops, all right.
Yeah? What did you hurt?
I... honestly, I'm fine.
All right, yeah, all right. Just... Deep breath. Take your time.
VENDOR: OK, then. JACOB: Thanks.
There you are.
Drink the Coke, then the water. I don't have sugar.
Get it down you.
I'm really not hungry. Eat it.
SHE SIGHS
Are you peeling a pie?
Yes. It would appear that I am.
Better? Mm.
How's life on the island going?
Well...
..me mother was living a double life
and, it would seem, killed herself.
And my sister's abdicated all responsibility.
So just dandy. Oh.
Sorry. That's a lot. Mm.
My mother... of all people.
Topped herself.
Were you close?
Not massively.
I mean, we pretended we were, cos that's what you do...
Mm. ..but we weren't.
I was the same. My mum was tricky...
..but it still hit me like a ton of bricks when she died,
like, you know.
I'm sorry. I suppose Larkin said it best.
"They fuck you up, your mum and dad
"They may not mean to, but they do."
Larkin? Mm.
Any more hidden depths I need to know about?
HE CHUCKLES
Here you are.
What about your dad? Is he still alive?
Very much so. Were they together?
Very much so.
What are you gonna say to him?
I have no idea.
CAR ENGINE THRUMS
Thank you. For what?
Picking me up off the side of the road.
Feeding me pie. Allowing me to vent.
Listen...
..if you need anything,
I live in the fisherman's cottage in the village.
Course you do.
See ya. Bye.
ROSALINE: 'Hi, Dad.' Where are you?
'Erm, I'm in the shed.' Oh, right.
Dad...
..the thing is, it looks like Mum...
SHE SIGHS
..like she might have taken something, like... an overdose.
Yeah, I had a... police officer come round, say t'same thing.
What, you knew? 'Well...
'Well, I knew they were making daft claims. Load of nonsense.'
'They had proof, Dad.
'They found morphine in her stomach.'
Well, when's she coming home, then?
We're working on it.
Dad, could you maybe go round to Jim's?
'No, I'm fine.
'Thank you.'
Yeah, I don't really like you being on your own.
Yeah, well, I am now, aren't I? So I'd better get used to it.
'Right, bye, love.' Bye, Dad.
ROSALINE: Becca?
Place is a tip.
Becca, what you doing? Well, we haven't...
haven't all got time to go swanning round the island
with the first bloke we clap eyes on.
Cos cleaning the grouting with a toothbrush
is God's work, is it?
Well, it's something.
Pete's on his way, and so's Cathy. No.
I just wanna talk to them, tell them about Mum.
See if there's anything they know. I don't wanna talk to those people.
Please, Becca.
Erm... ROSALINE CLEARS THROAT
..the police have confirmed that, erm...
..Mum... took an overdose of morphine.
She took her own life?
No.
ROSALINE: Do you know why?
Pete?
Rosaline would like to know
if there's any reason why her mother would've taken her own life.
Your mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.
SOFTLY: Wh... Uh...
Erm, you need to tell me everything. This is everything.
Why would she take her own life?
I said that I'd look after her.
BECCA WHIMPERS
Did you know about this? Oh, don't be ridiculous.
You talked to her all the time. YOU talked to her all the time.
Wait. When was she diagnosed with Alzheimer's?
PETE SIGHS A year ago.
She started forgetting things.
Oh, you must have realised that when you talked to her.
Yes, but, well, she's always been forgetful.
She said she wanted to put the worry out of her mind
and get on with her life.
So, she got tested...
..and the results were not what she wanted.
I told her when the time came, I'd look after her.
So she said nothing to either of you
about not wanting to be here any more?
Nothing.
BECCA EXHALES SHARPLY
But if she was here and she was your friend,
and she was your lover, she must have said something.
There must have been some clue.
I mean, when was the last time you saw her?
What did you do? What did she say?
Five days ago, we had a picnic.
Went out for a drive. We...
We had a perfect day.
Did you?
So perfect she thought, "Time to kill meself"?
BECCA SNIFFLES
ROSALINE SOBS
PHONE RINGS
Hey. LAUREN: 'Hiya, Mum.
'Just checking in. When are you coming home?'
I don't know, darling. Is your dad not there?
Yeah, I'm here, babe.
Yeah. He wants to know where the shower gel is.
Do you know, Mum? Oh, my God.
All right, Bec.
Don't bite her head off. I was asking her, not you.
'But you were asking because you don't know.'
Jesus, Becca, have the afternoon off, will you?
Where are the plasters?
What's that gotta do with the price of fish?
'Kitchen. Third drawer down.'
Right, great. Thank you. That's very useful.
'When's the last time that you sent...'
a card to anyone in the family? Christmas, birthday, Thank You...
'The last time?'
I'm not playing this game right now, Becca.
'I just want you to put yourself in my shoes.'
I am.
Look, your mum's died, and your head's gone. I get it.
We'll have this conversation when you've calmed down a bit.
'I'll speak to you later.' Urgh.
BATH WATER RUNNING
ROSALINE: I've run you a bath.
What for? Cos.
BECCA SIGHS
Thanks.
Oh, OK. You get in.
Oh, God, you can look. WATER SPLASHES
You've seen it all before.
BECCA SIGHS
Is that better?
Here you go.
Well, stay and talk to me.
OK.
Yeah, I think she was a bit strange, last few times I saw her.
She bit my head off for no reason the other month.
And...
..she'd washed a load of cash in the washing machine.
But, I mean, it's waterproof now, so we just... laughed it off.
You can't beat yourself up.
Well, I think we should both be beating ourselves up.
I'm fucking furious.
And why aren't you?
I don't know what I am.
Should we just go out?
What, of the house?
I feel like I need to get out my skin.
So, this is nice.
Shall we go somewhere with a bit more life?
CROWD CHEER AND APPLAUD
LOUD MUSIC PLAYS Oh, it's all right in here.
Are you serious? It's like the Star Wars cantina.
You're such a snob. Thank God one of us is.
BARMAN: You all right, love?
Can we have two gin and tonics and two tequilas?
No tequilas. I'm not holding your hair back.
BARMAN: All right.
I spoke to Dad. Without me?
I just felt he needed telling.
Anyway, he didn't need telling. He already knew.
About the morphine?
Or the adoption? Or the Alzheimer's? Or the affair?
BARMAN: There you go.
You've had affairs with married men, haven't you?
Thank you. Yes, I have.
Well, tell me, does it add to the... of it all?
No. Well, it must do.
It's not like that. Well, what is it like, then, mm?
Tell me. No. Why not?
Because it'll make me feel like shit.
HOST: One, two. You getting that?
SHE SIGHS
Hi. Hi.
What's your name? SHE CHUCKLES
Becca. Becca.
HOST: Right, who's next? MAN: Do I go?
Oh, no, no, no. Not you lot.
You're hogging it. Give someone else a chance.
Becca. Oh, no.
HOST: Come on. Yeah.
BECCA LAUGHS Come on. Come on.
OLLIE LAUGHS
Ooh.
SONG: 'It's Oh So Quiet'
BECCA: # Shh It's oh so quiet
# It's oh so still... #
Oh, shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit!
# All alone... #
ROSALINE: Oh, for God's sake!
TOILET FLUSHES
# And so peaceful until
# You fall in love Zing, boom
# The sky up above Zing, boom
# Is caving in Wow, bam
# You've never Been so nuts about a guy
# You wanna laugh You wanna cry
# You cross your heart And hope to die
# Till it's over... #
That's enough, Becca, let's go. No.
You can have a drink at home.
I'm staying. Shh. No, you're not, come on.
Shh! Are you the only one who's allowed to have any fun?
Is this fun? Yes, actually.
If you don't wanna be here, go home.
I'm not leaving you here. Well, I'm not coming with you.
So either join in, sit there with a face...
You know what, just go home. And what about Jim?
I only sat on his knee.
What's up? Is he not married enough for you?
You're a dick. Do what you like.
# You blow a fuse Zing, boom
# The devil cuts loose Zing, boom
# So what's the use Wow, bam
# Of falling in love? #
Agh!
Jim, it's Rosaline.
I'm sorry for calling so late, but I'm worried about Becca.
She's...
Anyway, call me back when you can.
SHE SIGHS
Mm. Bums up.
SHE LAUGHS
Oh!
BOTH LAUGH
Oh, my God!
Hey.
Just can't go back to that house.
Come in.
Oh, hi. It's Rosaline Ward. Erm, just calling to see
if there'd been any results back from my biopsy.
Yeah. Yes, of course.
Thank you.
HE CLEARS THROAT
Morning. Morning.
Thank you so much for... Oh, no bother.
I wonder how your sister's head is this morning.
Better go and check on her.
Coffee?
Yeah, great. OK.
PHONE BUZZES
SHE SIGHS Oh.
Urgh. Jesus.
SHE GRUNTS
Oh, shit.
JIM: 'Becca, Rosaline called me.
'What the hell are you playing at? Call me.
'Becca. Where are you? It's three in the morning.
'I need you to call me.'
Pfft.
What about your dad?
Yeah, he was OK. Pipe and slippers man.
Worked in finance here, and I followed him into it.
Wait, you worked in finance? Can't you tell?
I was a big hitter, me. SHE LAUGHS
HE CHUCKLES
Do you have brothers and sisters? Yeah, brother lives in Kirk Michael.
We're close. So, what about you and your sister?
Oh!
My therapist says we were forged in the same fire.
SHE SNORTS
That's just therapy speak for "grew up in the same house."
You can live in the same house
but have wildly different experiences, can't you?
ROSALINE SIGHS Sorry.
I didn't mean to upset you.
I had cancer.
Once when I was a teenager, and then again about ten years ago.
So, yeah, we had wildly different experiences.
I'm so sorry.
It's OK.
It's me mum. I mean...
Oh, God, this sounds so self-indulgent,
but I know what it's like to be poorly, you know?
You think life might get taken away in a moment.
How could she do what she did?
I mean, so what? She had Alzheimer's.
Why did she get to just give up? I didn't.
And it's bloody hard to keep going.
BECCA SIGHS
How dare you interfere in my marriage.
What did you say to him? I was worried about you.
What were you playing at? You look like shit.
Don't judge me.
Oh, it's OK for you to judge me all of the time!
We're not doing this. We need to talk about Mum. No, no.
When do I judge you?
Asking me what it's like to have affairs with married men.
Pretending it's just an innocent question,
when it's all judgement.
That isn't judgement, Rosaline. That's called having an opinion.
So you're allowed to have a firm, out-loud opinion about that,
but I couldn't mention your sham of a marriage, for example.
What does that mean?
"Oh, look at us. We had life sewn up at 18,
"and we're gonna let you all know about it."
How have I got life sewn up? I do everything in this family.
Don't give me that! What do you do?
You just swan in for high days and holidays.
Don't give me that. You love being needed.
You always have. It isn't being needed.
It's called being an adult. ROSALINE SCOFFS
YELLS: You're not an adult! You're 18.
You're stuck in 1995, when you got with Jim.
You don't even put petrol in your own car, for God's sake.
"To the moon. To the moon." (!)
Don't talk to me about being an adult.
I've got two teenage kids.
Oh, there it is, the trump card. You've got kids!
Congratulations on utilising your womb.
You know, anyone would think I had an easy life.
Look, I never said that.
You just think that I swanned off, that my life was a bed of roses.
You had everything.
Everything was about you when I was younger.
No! I was sick. That's a given.
But everything was about you and Mum,
your relationship.
You used to whisper behind my back.
No, she used to whisper to me behind your back,
because she didn't want to upset you.
I was 14!
You loved it, being her favourite! How was I her favourite?!
You took that bloody coffee bean necklace...
Oh, my God! ..because you feel entitled to it.
Have it. I don't want it. What, you're throwing that in my face?
And the minute an affair's mentioned,
you throw that in MY face.
Because you think that I'm like Mum, and I'm not. You are.
Well, you might be right there, cos this conversation
is making me want to kill myself!
ROSALINE SCOFFS
You know what? You're gonna hear this.
I wasn't her favourite. You were.
Your life wasn't derailed, but mine was,
because you got to leave home at 18
when she had a full-on nervous breakdown.
She didn't get out of bed for months.
Do you know how hard it is to section someone?
Mm? It's hard.
Because she's not quite a danger to herself,
but she's pretty edgy all the same.
I didn't know. No, I know you didn't,
because I wasn't allowed to tell you,
because you'd just got better and you'd just gone to university,
so I had to look after her.
But what about Dad? What about Dad?
Did his best, but he...
he had to go to work and pay the mortgage.
So I dropped out of college.
No. You dropped out of college to be with Jim.
No. I got with Jim BECAUSE I left college.
No, no. You loved Jim. Yes.
But I could have loved someone else.
I could have loved SOMEWHERE else.
I didn't know about any of this.
Well, now you do.
How bad was Mum?
She was bad enough to do something stupid.
But she didn't...
..because I was there, and I could stop her.
But I couldn't this time, and now she's...
CAR APPROACHES
Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com