1 00:00:05,614 --> 00:00:07,268 Previously on So Help Me Todd... 2 00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:10,967 MARGARET: Allison! Mom? Dick? 3 00:00:11,098 --> 00:00:11,663 DICK: Patty, is that you? 4 00:00:11,794 --> 00:00:13,056 You know my aunt? 5 00:00:13,187 --> 00:00:14,579 I am deserving of senior associate. 6 00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:16,929 I would like nothing more than to give you that promotion, 7 00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:19,758 but now is not the time. 8 00:00:19,889 --> 00:00:21,847 The firm is going under. 9 00:00:21,978 --> 00:00:23,327 MERRITT [over speaker]: Welcome to the world behind the curtain. 10 00:00:23,458 --> 00:00:25,982 It's a Cube-Brick. Folding wanted it. 11 00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:27,636 Of course Folding wanted it. 12 00:00:27,766 --> 00:00:29,246 Probably to spy on us. 13 00:00:29,377 --> 00:00:31,553 MERRITT [over speaker]: The Lee sisters are on board, 14 00:00:31,683 --> 00:00:32,728 but it's only gonna last us six months. 15 00:00:32,858 --> 00:00:34,208 We're not out of the woods yet. 16 00:00:34,338 --> 00:00:36,253 WOMAN 1: Merritt Folding? MAN 1: Merritt Folding. 17 00:00:36,384 --> 00:00:37,863 WOMAN 2: Merritt Folding? MAN 2: Merritt Folding. 18 00:00:37,994 --> 00:00:38,995 ["9 to 5" by Dolly Parton playing] 19 00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:40,083 ♪ Jump in the shower ♪ 20 00:00:40,214 --> 00:00:41,563 ♪ And the blood starts pumping ♪ 21 00:00:41,693 --> 00:00:42,825 ♪ Out on the streets ♪ 22 00:00:42,955 --> 00:00:44,044 ♪ The traffic starts jumping ♪ 23 00:00:44,174 --> 00:00:46,133 ♪ For folks like me on the job ♪ 24 00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:47,830 ♪ From nine to five [elevator bell dings] 25 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:50,267 ♪ Working nine to five ♪ 26 00:00:50,398 --> 00:00:52,095 ♪ What a way to make a living... ♪ 27 00:00:52,226 --> 00:00:54,141 Ms. Wright. Ms. Wright, I have several... Wrong. 28 00:00:54,271 --> 00:00:56,578 - I can't right now, Lewis. - But I've sent you three emails. 29 00:00:56,708 --> 00:00:58,275 Our office supply vendor is raising their rates. 30 00:00:58,406 --> 00:01:00,756 - I am aware. - I can't keep pushing them off. 31 00:01:00,886 --> 00:01:02,540 Well, push a little bit longer, like I did with your emails. 32 00:01:02,671 --> 00:01:04,890 Margaret, I still need you to review these H.R. complaints. 33 00:01:05,021 --> 00:01:06,457 O-Okay. ELLEN: And sign these checks. 34 00:01:06,588 --> 00:01:08,068 - I was here first. - Mine is urgent. 35 00:01:08,198 --> 00:01:09,982 I camped out all day yesterday in the women's bathroom 36 00:01:10,113 --> 00:01:10,722 - waiting to talk to her. - You did? 37 00:01:10,853 --> 00:01:12,115 Mm-hmm. Stop doing that. 38 00:01:12,246 --> 00:01:13,377 Payroll, maintenance, and custodial. 39 00:01:13,508 --> 00:01:14,944 I can't see it... Here, here, and... 40 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,685 [overlapping chatter] 41 00:01:16,815 --> 00:01:18,513 An H.R. complaint can bankrupt us if it turns into a lawsuit. 42 00:01:18,643 --> 00:01:20,428 No, I know. I won't. I'm not. I can't. 43 00:01:20,558 --> 00:01:22,082 [overlapping chatter] 44 00:01:22,212 --> 00:01:23,692 All right, I got it... And then one more page... 45 00:01:23,822 --> 00:01:25,085 [overlapping chatter] I'll be right back, yes. 46 00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:26,825 Just give me a minute, okay? 47 00:01:26,956 --> 00:01:28,000 [chatter stops][sighs] 48 00:01:28,131 --> 00:01:30,655 [groans] How is this not working? 49 00:01:30,786 --> 00:01:32,701 - [shrieks] Todd. - Uh... 50 00:01:32,831 --> 00:01:33,702 Vacate my chair, please. 51 00:01:33,832 --> 00:01:34,833 Yeah. How is what not working? 52 00:01:34,964 --> 00:01:36,705 Todd's Taco Tuesday. 53 00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:39,186 I'm advertising a special for my P.I. services. 54 00:01:39,316 --> 00:01:42,667 Half off, plus one delicious breakfast taco, 55 00:01:42,798 --> 00:01:44,452 and it has yielded exactly zero new clients. 56 00:01:44,582 --> 00:01:46,280 Zip. Zilcho. 57 00:01:46,410 --> 00:01:47,759 Well, hard to believe that people aren't lining up 58 00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:49,239 for one breakfast taco. 59 00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:50,893 TODD: Shouldn't be wasting my time 60 00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:52,938 scouring for business like a sewer rat. 61 00:01:53,069 --> 00:01:54,897 I should be out on the streets like a vigilante superhero, 62 00:01:55,027 --> 00:01:56,638 solving crimes 63 00:01:56,768 --> 00:01:58,901 and catching murderers with my bare hands. 64 00:01:59,031 --> 00:02:00,598 You're the one who made the choice to open your own business 65 00:02:00,729 --> 00:02:02,513 and you're lucky you have the firm to fall back on, 66 00:02:02,644 --> 00:02:04,820 and if you feel like you just can't make a go of it, 67 00:02:04,950 --> 00:02:06,082 then maybe... Instead, I am stuck with two dozen tacos. 68 00:02:06,213 --> 00:02:07,388 - ...it is time to admit defeat. - Well, 12 dozen tacos. 69 00:02:07,518 --> 00:02:08,302 Guess I know what I'm eating every day... 70 00:02:08,432 --> 00:02:09,912 Maybe it isn't everything that you want. 71 00:02:10,042 --> 00:02:12,523 Maybe-maybe there's another way to get ahead, and... 72 00:02:12,654 --> 00:02:13,655 Oh... 73 00:02:13,785 --> 00:02:15,570 What's going on with you? You okay? 74 00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:17,920 - Heard from The Bradshaw Group. - And? 75 00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:19,530 Not returning. 76 00:02:19,661 --> 00:02:21,228 They signed with Granger Zisk.[gasps] 77 00:02:21,358 --> 00:02:23,491 Half a million dollar retainer, gone. 78 00:02:23,621 --> 00:02:26,537 Granger Zisk. Good God, the vultures are circling. 79 00:02:26,668 --> 00:02:30,976 I think everyone can smell CF&W failing, 80 00:02:31,107 --> 00:02:33,414 and it is causing them to avoid my tacos. 81 00:02:33,544 --> 00:02:34,980 [shrieks] 82 00:02:35,111 --> 00:02:37,331 I did not become a name partner 83 00:02:37,461 --> 00:02:39,115 to be buried alive in paperwork 84 00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:40,943 and personnel issues 85 00:02:41,073 --> 00:02:43,728 and problems that I cannot solve. Ugh! 86 00:02:43,859 --> 00:02:45,295 Is this what my life's work amounts to? 87 00:02:45,426 --> 00:02:48,124 Just rolling a giant boulder 88 00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:52,128 up an impossible hill to nowhere? 89 00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:53,738 Forever? 90 00:02:53,869 --> 00:02:55,523 [groans] Damn... 91 00:02:55,653 --> 00:02:57,177 Damn it. 92 00:02:57,307 --> 00:02:59,918 I want to accomplish 93 00:03:00,049 --> 00:03:01,485 just one thing today, 94 00:03:01,616 --> 00:03:02,921 just one thing. 95 00:03:03,052 --> 00:03:06,229 To solve one problem. 96 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:09,885 To make myself feel more effective for once. 97 00:03:10,015 --> 00:03:11,016 Is that too muchto ask? 98 00:03:11,147 --> 00:03:13,236 - It is a lot to ask. - Todd. 99 00:03:13,367 --> 00:03:15,151 I refuse to let this firm fail. 100 00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:17,284 I helped build this entire place, 101 00:03:17,414 --> 00:03:19,677 and I did not work this hard to get my name... 102 00:03:19,808 --> 00:03:21,113 Your wrong name. 103 00:03:21,244 --> 00:03:23,203 My wrong name above the door just to... 104 00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:24,856 Just to what? Go down with the ship? 105 00:03:24,987 --> 00:03:26,989 Pulling under innocent victims? Like me and Francey 106 00:03:27,119 --> 00:03:28,077 and Susan and... Lyle can float. 107 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,078 Stop it. 108 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,949 I... 109 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,387 am going downstairs for some coffee. 110 00:03:33,517 --> 00:03:35,040 Ooh, I-I'll take a latte 111 00:03:35,171 --> 00:03:36,651 with a side of... nothing. 112 00:03:36,781 --> 00:03:37,826 Side of nothing. 113 00:03:37,956 --> 00:03:41,046 Yeah. Hold the latte. 114 00:03:42,483 --> 00:03:44,136 Oh, Ms. Wright, wait. 115 00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:46,226 [overlapping chatter] 116 00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:49,533 Margaret... Uh, Ms. Wright, I just need one more approval... 117 00:03:49,664 --> 00:03:51,318 [elevator bell dings] 118 00:03:51,448 --> 00:03:53,624 [overlapping chatter] 119 00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:55,452 Whoa. 120 00:03:55,583 --> 00:03:56,714 [overlapping chatter] 121 00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:01,545 [sighs] 122 00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:03,243 [man crying] 123 00:04:03,373 --> 00:04:07,508 I'm sorry. Are... are you okay? 124 00:04:07,638 --> 00:04:10,598 No. I'm dead. 125 00:04:10,728 --> 00:04:13,775 - Sorry, you're what? You're dead? - Yes. 126 00:04:13,905 --> 00:04:16,778 And this lawyer just turned down my case. 127 00:04:16,908 --> 00:04:18,867 Says it's impossible to resurrect me. 128 00:04:18,997 --> 00:04:21,086 Now, how am Isupposed 129 00:04:21,217 --> 00:04:23,611 to live my life when I don't exist anymore? 130 00:04:23,741 --> 00:04:26,440 [chuckles] But-but you're - right here. - Mm-mm. 131 00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:27,658 No? 132 00:04:31,749 --> 00:04:33,621 Your obituary? 133 00:04:33,751 --> 00:04:36,406 [crying] 134 00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:40,410 I was declared dead six months ago. 135 00:04:40,541 --> 00:04:42,630 - H-How did this happen? - I have no idea. 136 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,633 I've contacted every government agency I can think of, 137 00:04:45,763 --> 00:04:49,071 and it's been nothing but... Dead ends? [chuckles] Sorry. 138 00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:51,029 I don't understand. I mean... 139 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,902 you are alive, you are clearly alive. 140 00:04:54,032 --> 00:04:57,471 Yeah, can't you just show your I.D. or your birth certificate 141 00:04:57,601 --> 00:04:58,733 to the police or...?Once my "death" was reported 142 00:04:58,863 --> 00:05:00,430 to the Social Security Administration, 143 00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:02,040 it set off a chain reaction. 144 00:05:02,171 --> 00:05:04,695 My credit cards, my health insurance were canceled. 145 00:05:04,826 --> 00:05:07,481 I lost my job at Belmont Auto Repair 146 00:05:07,611 --> 00:05:09,439 because "dead people" can't get paychecks. 147 00:05:10,745 --> 00:05:12,224 [sighs] Hey, um, 148 00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:15,097 what are the chances he's actually dead 149 00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:17,055 and we're the only ones that could see him? 150 00:05:17,186 --> 00:05:19,536 You know, like on that show about apparitions? 151 00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:21,233 Todd. 152 00:05:21,364 --> 00:05:23,192 I'm on the verge of being broke and homeless, 153 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,976 and the State of Oregon is seizing 154 00:05:25,107 --> 00:05:26,717 all my assets in probate court today. 155 00:05:26,848 --> 00:05:29,111 - Wait, today? - Like, today-today 156 00:05:29,241 --> 00:05:31,287 or today-today? Must be today. 157 00:05:31,418 --> 00:05:33,942 If someone doesn't help me soon, I... 158 00:05:34,072 --> 00:05:35,726 I don't know. What... 159 00:05:35,857 --> 00:05:38,686 What happens to someone who doesn't legally exist? 160 00:05:38,816 --> 00:05:40,252 I can help you. 161 00:05:40,383 --> 00:05:42,254 We can help you. 162 00:05:42,385 --> 00:05:44,518 We can straighten this all out 163 00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:46,650 at your probate hearing today. 164 00:05:46,781 --> 00:05:48,652 We can fix whatever 165 00:05:48,783 --> 00:05:50,524 bureaucratic nonsense 166 00:05:50,654 --> 00:05:53,222 led to this egregious clerical error. 167 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,659 We can accomplish this today. 168 00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:57,008 Thank you. 169 00:05:57,139 --> 00:05:58,314 Thank you. 170 00:06:00,011 --> 00:06:00,925 Yeah, he seems real. 171 00:06:01,056 --> 00:06:03,275 Very soft hands. 172 00:06:10,239 --> 00:06:13,198 Hey, Margaret, - do you have a minute? - Oh, Susan. 173 00:06:13,329 --> 00:06:15,418 Yes, of course. I'm preparing for probate court 174 00:06:15,549 --> 00:06:17,420 this afternoon, but what do you need? 175 00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:19,335 I have a last-minute meeting with a potential client 176 00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:22,164 tomorrow morning, and I need your help. 177 00:06:22,294 --> 00:06:23,861 Oh. Now you need my help, do you? 178 00:06:23,992 --> 00:06:26,603 Um, well, okay. 179 00:06:26,734 --> 00:06:28,866 I'd be happy to. Just have Francey put it on my schedule, 180 00:06:28,997 --> 00:06:31,129 or, Susan, 181 00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:33,218 we could have lunch and discuss... 182 00:06:33,349 --> 00:06:35,525 Oh. A-Actually, I just need the conference room, 183 00:06:35,656 --> 00:06:36,744 and you have it booked. 184 00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:39,137 Okay. All yours. 185 00:06:39,268 --> 00:06:40,748 Thank you. 186 00:06:40,878 --> 00:06:41,879 Who's the client? 187 00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:44,360 4X Technology Innovators. 188 00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:46,754 A potential one million dollar - a year retainer. - Oh. 189 00:06:46,884 --> 00:06:50,888 Amazing. And, uh, how'd you get the meeting? 190 00:06:51,019 --> 00:06:54,457 The CEO, Rory McIntosh, is a new business associate of Peter's. 191 00:06:54,588 --> 00:06:58,679 Ah-hah. You know, Susan, 192 00:06:58,809 --> 00:07:01,812 building your client roster is very important, 193 00:07:01,943 --> 00:07:06,034 but this-- this could be very, very big for the firm. 194 00:07:06,164 --> 00:07:08,471 So, maybe if you let me help you, we can land this account. 195 00:07:08,602 --> 00:07:12,736 Oh, thank you, but, uh, I think I can do it on my own. 196 00:07:12,867 --> 00:07:15,478 And then you'll have to promote me. 197 00:07:16,479 --> 00:07:17,393 LYLE: Ah! 198 00:07:17,524 --> 00:07:18,786 Ugh, cheese and crackers! 199 00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:21,005 Lyle, are you okay? 200 00:07:21,136 --> 00:07:24,661 Oh, uh, it's just a toothache. I'm fine. Ah... 201 00:07:29,318 --> 00:07:31,407 Okay, so, when someone dies, like, for real, 202 00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:33,104 they get entered into the EDRS, 203 00:07:33,235 --> 00:07:34,584 the Electronic Death Registration System. 204 00:07:34,715 --> 00:07:38,066 Electronic death? That sounds awful. What? 205 00:07:38,196 --> 00:07:40,938 - Don't come back here. - Okay, fine. Then what happens? 206 00:07:41,069 --> 00:07:42,940 Okay. Then that gets sent to the Social Security Administration 207 00:07:43,071 --> 00:07:45,726 and added to their Death Master File. 208 00:07:45,856 --> 00:07:48,163 Death Master? This all sounds so creepy. 209 00:07:48,293 --> 00:07:49,512 And, by the way, speaking of death, 210 00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:50,774 part of me is still trying to come back to life 211 00:07:50,905 --> 00:07:52,428 after catching you in my bed 212 00:07:52,559 --> 00:07:53,951 with that fraud, Dick Franks. 213 00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:55,213 Todd, Dick and I... 214 00:07:55,344 --> 00:07:56,301 I don't like you saying "Dick." 215 00:07:56,432 --> 00:07:58,086 You just said it, okay? 216 00:07:58,216 --> 00:07:59,609 And, also, I'm not discussing my sex life. 217 00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:01,263 Nor will I be judged by someone 218 00:08:01,393 --> 00:08:02,264 who has an ex-girlfriend in prison. 219 00:08:02,394 --> 00:08:04,266 Hey, I put her in prison. 220 00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:05,702 Yeah, that doesn't make it better. 221 00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:08,357 Look, I'm not talking about this. Not with you, 222 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,838 not with Mom, from whom I have not heard in a week, 223 00:08:10,968 --> 00:08:13,493 by the way. Ugh, I can just feel her judging me 224 00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:15,103 and criticizing me and dying to tell me 225 00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:17,279 what to do and how to do it. I hate it. I hate this. 226 00:08:17,409 --> 00:08:19,890 God, you're so Angry Teen Allison. 227 00:08:20,021 --> 00:08:22,023 Yeah well, I never was Angry Teen Allison, 228 00:08:22,153 --> 00:08:23,546 so bring it on. 229 00:08:23,677 --> 00:08:25,592 Oh, it's been broughten, sister. 230 00:08:25,722 --> 00:08:26,854 By the way, 231 00:08:26,984 --> 00:08:28,638 are we just waiting for this Electrical Death Lord 232 00:08:28,769 --> 00:08:30,248 - to print or whatever? - It's printing right now. 233 00:08:30,379 --> 00:08:32,512 Electrical Death Lord? What is wrong with you? 234 00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:34,514 What? That's exactly what you just said. 235 00:08:34,644 --> 00:08:35,689 No. 236 00:08:35,819 --> 00:08:37,473 MARGARET: Your Honor, 237 00:08:37,604 --> 00:08:40,955 my client, Leo Hart, is clearly alive. 238 00:08:41,085 --> 00:08:42,304 There's no need to proceed 239 00:08:42,434 --> 00:08:44,262 with a probate hearing regarding his estate. 240 00:08:44,393 --> 00:08:46,787 Your Honor, we've never had a case 241 00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:49,398 where the decedent contested their own probate hearing. 242 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,531 That's because the decedent isn't deceased. 243 00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:53,620 He's right here, alive. 244 00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:55,839 I can only go by what the paperwork says, 245 00:08:55,970 --> 00:08:58,494 and all my paperwork says Leo Hart is dead. 246 00:08:58,625 --> 00:09:00,148 MARGARET: This is him. 247 00:09:00,278 --> 00:09:02,019 He literally has a pulse. 248 00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:04,021 Obviously, I see that. We all see that, 249 00:09:04,152 --> 00:09:06,633 but in the eyes of the U.S. government, it's curtains. 250 00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:09,287 MARGARET: Your Honor, this is ludicrous. 251 00:09:09,418 --> 00:09:10,941 My client isn't going to lose everything 252 00:09:11,072 --> 00:09:12,160 he owns just because of a... 253 00:09:12,290 --> 00:09:13,335 JACKIE:Only God 254 00:09:13,465 --> 00:09:15,206 and the Social Security Administration 255 00:09:15,337 --> 00:09:16,381 can reverse a death. 256 00:09:16,512 --> 00:09:18,296 And how long would that take? 257 00:09:18,427 --> 00:09:20,472 Months. Years. 258 00:09:20,603 --> 00:09:22,083 We don't even have an official form 259 00:09:22,213 --> 00:09:23,214 to fix something like this. 260 00:09:23,345 --> 00:09:25,086 No form, no fix. 261 00:09:25,216 --> 00:09:27,305 No form, no fix? 262 00:09:27,436 --> 00:09:29,656 This is a highly unusual situation, 263 00:09:29,786 --> 00:09:32,354 so I will grant you a continuance 264 00:09:32,484 --> 00:09:34,443 on the probate hearing, Counselor. 265 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:37,272 You have one week to prove that your client is, um... 266 00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:39,709 legally alive. 267 00:09:40,405 --> 00:09:42,320 Thank you. 268 00:09:42,451 --> 00:09:43,670 Is-is this a good thing? 269 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,410 Oh, it buys us time, and Todd 270 00:09:45,541 --> 00:09:47,717 is already looking into who reported you dead, 271 00:09:47,848 --> 00:09:49,589 so I promise you 272 00:09:49,719 --> 00:09:51,112 we will have this sorted out 273 00:09:51,242 --> 00:09:52,592 within the week. [chuckles] 274 00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:54,637 No form, no fix. 275 00:09:55,856 --> 00:09:58,206 Your client's death was reported to the EDRS 276 00:09:58,336 --> 00:09:59,947 by a Dr. Ray Munipke. 277 00:10:00,077 --> 00:10:01,949 - What? Do you know him? - No, which is odd, 278 00:10:02,079 --> 00:10:03,559 because I know every doctor on this wing. 279 00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:04,691 I've never even heard that name before. 280 00:10:04,821 --> 00:10:06,562 Oh, maybe because it's pronounced "Manupkay," 281 00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:07,955 - not Munipke. - It's not pronounced "Manupkay." 282 00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:09,347 - It's Munipke. - It's "Manupkay." Look right there. 283 00:10:09,478 --> 00:10:10,871 What, do you have a degree in pronunciation? 284 00:10:11,001 --> 00:10:12,612 Yes, I do, dude.[sarcastic laugh] 285 00:10:12,742 --> 00:10:14,657 This is his office. This is his office? 286 00:10:17,921 --> 00:10:19,096 Hello? 287 00:10:20,141 --> 00:10:21,142 Uh, this is 288 00:10:21,272 --> 00:10:22,926 a janitor's closet. 289 00:10:23,057 --> 00:10:26,190 This is all... T-The form is wrong. 290 00:10:26,321 --> 00:10:28,018 Someone faked an address in the hospital? 291 00:10:28,149 --> 00:10:29,890 And medical credentials. 292 00:10:30,020 --> 00:10:32,806 Which explains why you've never heard of Dr. "Manupkay,"Munipke. 293 00:10:32,936 --> 00:10:34,982 because he doesn't exist. 294 00:10:35,112 --> 00:10:37,158 Maybe... 295 00:10:37,288 --> 00:10:39,595 maybe Leo's death wasn't a clerical error. 296 00:10:39,726 --> 00:10:42,729 Maybe someone killed him on paper 297 00:10:42,859 --> 00:10:44,556 on purpose. 298 00:10:44,687 --> 00:10:46,733 ♪ ♪ 299 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,395 Do you have any idea who would want you declared dead? 300 00:10:57,526 --> 00:10:59,180 No. I'm a nobody. 301 00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:01,225 I don't have any enemies or... 302 00:11:01,356 --> 00:11:02,792 I don't even have any friends. 303 00:11:02,923 --> 00:11:04,141 I generally try and stay away from people. 304 00:11:04,272 --> 00:11:05,926 Why? 305 00:11:07,536 --> 00:11:10,452 Because, um, I don't deserve to have people in my life. 306 00:11:10,582 --> 00:11:12,584 Um, I've been sober ten years, 307 00:11:12,715 --> 00:11:14,282 - but I was a mess. - Ah. 308 00:11:14,412 --> 00:11:16,066 I'm an alcoholic. 309 00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:18,895 All I did was let people down and drive them away. 310 00:11:19,026 --> 00:11:20,549 Well, you can't punish yourself for your past. 311 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,117 No one deserves to be alone. 312 00:11:23,247 --> 00:11:24,596 I talked to your son-in-law, Chet. 313 00:11:24,727 --> 00:11:26,424 He said Leo's obituary was submitted 314 00:11:26,555 --> 00:11:29,689 to The Portland Sentinel by one Kirkland Quimby, 315 00:11:29,819 --> 00:11:30,690 owner of Hillside Funeral Home. 316 00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:32,517 Do you know any Kirkland Quimby? 317 00:11:32,648 --> 00:11:34,868 Kirkland Quimby. No. 318 00:11:34,998 --> 00:11:36,434 Why would he write an obituary for me? 319 00:11:36,565 --> 00:11:38,088 Well, if somebody wants you dead, 320 00:11:38,219 --> 00:11:40,264 the longer the paper trail, the harder it is to unravel. 321 00:11:40,395 --> 00:11:41,962 If there's anything else you need, 322 00:11:42,092 --> 00:11:42,919 I'm around! 323 00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:44,529 Oh, Lyle. 324 00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:45,879 Uh, Francey, can you come in here right now, please, 325 00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:48,490 and take Lyle to the dentist? 326 00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:49,447 It is clearly an emergency. 327 00:11:49,578 --> 00:11:50,884 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 328 00:11:51,014 --> 00:11:52,276 No. There's no need. 329 00:11:52,407 --> 00:11:54,061 I'm fi... [yelps] ...ine. 330 00:11:54,191 --> 00:11:55,236 Lyle, you are not fine. 331 00:11:55,366 --> 00:11:56,759 Go now, Francey. 332 00:11:56,890 --> 00:11:59,457 Lyle, the last time you ignored a toothache, 333 00:11:59,588 --> 00:12:01,416 I found you passed out from the pain in your office. 334 00:12:01,546 --> 00:12:03,113 Let's go.[Lyle grumbles] 335 00:12:03,244 --> 00:12:04,462 It's okay. 336 00:12:04,593 --> 00:12:06,682 Just admit you're afraid of the dentist. 337 00:12:06,813 --> 00:12:08,510 - I just need some ginger ale. - Oh... 338 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:10,599 So, uh, what do we do now? 339 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:13,994 Well, now, I'm going to pay a visit to this Kirkland Quimby. 340 00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:16,605 TODD: You got to admit, 341 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:19,303 paper-killing someone is genius. 342 00:12:19,434 --> 00:12:21,175 They're dead, but you didn't do it, 343 00:12:21,305 --> 00:12:23,177 - But you did. - Both are illegal. 344 00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:25,048 I can think of a few people I would love to paper kill. 345 00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:26,049 Who? 346 00:12:26,180 --> 00:12:28,312 Harry, Veronica, Lyle sometimes, 347 00:12:28,443 --> 00:12:30,401 Lyle most times, Colonel Sanders. 348 00:12:30,532 --> 00:12:31,663 - Colonel Sanders? - Yeah. 349 00:12:31,794 --> 00:12:33,056 He's terrifying. That little body? 350 00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:34,623 Welcome. Come this way, please. 351 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:35,798 Thank you so much. 352 00:12:35,929 --> 00:12:37,844 Todd, perhaps you could add that vagrant 353 00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:40,498 that Allison was with in your apartment to the list. 354 00:12:40,629 --> 00:12:42,022 Is she still seeing him? 355 00:12:42,152 --> 00:12:43,588 I don't know, but you're not gonna find out 356 00:12:43,719 --> 00:12:45,939 by ignoring her and then dumping on her choices, 357 00:12:46,069 --> 00:12:47,854 which will then make her ignore you. I mean, 358 00:12:47,984 --> 00:12:49,943 how long did we go without talking? 359 00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:52,162 You still owe me, like, 104 family dinners. 360 00:12:52,293 --> 00:12:54,686 Hello. I'm Kirkland Quimby. 361 00:12:54,817 --> 00:12:56,601 - How may I help you? - Hi. Hello, hello. 362 00:12:56,732 --> 00:12:57,951 How do you do? Uh, we're here 363 00:12:58,081 --> 00:12:59,735 to discuss some - funeral arrangements. - Please. 364 00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:01,955 Yes, for my mother, God bless her soul. 365 00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:03,478 [chuckles] Such a sprightly sense of humor. 366 00:13:03,608 --> 00:13:05,088 No, no, no, for my son. 367 00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:07,047 No, I thought the last thing a parent wants to do 368 00:13:07,177 --> 00:13:08,962 - is bury their child. - Well, it depends on the child. 369 00:13:09,092 --> 00:13:12,313 I... Well, whichever one of you is dying, uh, 370 00:13:12,443 --> 00:13:15,142 may I ask which funeral package you are interested in? 371 00:13:15,272 --> 00:13:16,883 Uh, for me? Very expensive. 372 00:13:17,013 --> 00:13:19,015 Money is no object. Sky's the limit. 373 00:13:19,146 --> 00:13:20,495 Mm, yes, well, I was actually thinking 374 00:13:20,625 --> 00:13:22,323 of something much simpler, along the economy side. 375 00:13:22,453 --> 00:13:23,933 A box. A flower. A hole. 376 00:13:24,064 --> 00:13:25,195 Oh, for your beloved favorite son? 377 00:13:25,326 --> 00:13:26,544 I have another. 378 00:13:26,675 --> 00:13:27,676 All right then, 21-gun salute, 379 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,852 6,000 doves, ten bald eagles-- 380 00:13:29,983 --> 00:13:31,506 the baldest money can buy-- 381 00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:32,812 and I also want want an ax 382 00:13:32,942 --> 00:13:34,291 and an oxygen tank down there 383 00:13:34,422 --> 00:13:35,945 just in case I spring back to life. 384 00:13:36,076 --> 00:13:37,860 Does that happen? There's got to be a few cases, right? 385 00:13:37,991 --> 00:13:39,166 It's rare, but... 386 00:13:39,296 --> 00:13:40,732 - What? - May I ask, 387 00:13:40,863 --> 00:13:42,822 are obituaries a part of your funeral package? 388 00:13:42,952 --> 00:13:46,173 Oh, yes, we provide touching, personalized obituaries. 389 00:13:46,303 --> 00:13:49,567 Ah-ha. So, you could write an obituary for my son, 390 00:13:49,698 --> 00:13:51,526 like the one you wrote for Leo Hart. 391 00:13:51,656 --> 00:13:53,789 Leo Hart? 392 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:56,444 I-I've never written an obituary for anybody by that name. 393 00:13:56,574 --> 00:13:57,967 Really? You didn't write this? 394 00:13:58,098 --> 00:13:59,969 This is a copy of an email that you sent 395 00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:01,231 to The Portland Sentinel 396 00:14:01,362 --> 00:14:03,712 along with Leo Hart's obituary.W... 397 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,193 I... This isn't my email address. 398 00:14:06,323 --> 00:14:08,543 Th-This account belonged to my father, 399 00:14:08,673 --> 00:14:09,805 Kirkland Quimby, Senior. 400 00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:12,982 But he died, 20 years ago. 401 00:14:13,113 --> 00:14:16,159 That makes sense. It is an AOL account. 402 00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:17,944 Will you excuse us for one second, please? 403 00:14:20,163 --> 00:14:23,819 Todd, how does someone access a dead father's email account 404 00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:26,300 in order to send an obituary to The Portland Sentinel? 405 00:14:26,430 --> 00:14:27,954 Sounds like we're dealing - with a computer hacker. - Hmm. 406 00:14:28,084 --> 00:14:30,347 The same person who used fake medical credentials 407 00:14:30,478 --> 00:14:32,219 to pose as a nonexistent doctor. 408 00:14:32,349 --> 00:14:34,830 Oh, and until, like, last year, you had an AOL account. 409 00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:37,789 Todd. We need get Lyle to track down this hacker. 410 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:39,966 Lyle? What am I, buried alive? 411 00:14:40,096 --> 00:14:43,143 Excuse me, but may I ask, 412 00:14:43,273 --> 00:14:46,494 what exactly is it you are dying of? 413 00:14:46,624 --> 00:14:49,149 Oh, um, tongue... problem. 414 00:14:49,279 --> 00:14:50,890 Chronic tongue problem. 415 00:14:52,674 --> 00:14:54,197 Make way! 416 00:14:54,328 --> 00:14:55,242 Okay, easy, easy. 417 00:14:55,372 --> 00:14:56,243 No, no, no, no, no. 418 00:14:56,373 --> 00:14:57,244 - Lyle, here. - Mm? 419 00:14:57,374 --> 00:14:58,810 Mm... This is you. Here. 420 00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:00,247 Easy, tiger.[roars] 421 00:15:00,377 --> 00:15:01,726 Uh... Oh. Okay. 422 00:15:01,857 --> 00:15:03,511 Not a-not a coatrack. Oop. 423 00:15:03,641 --> 00:15:04,860 Sit. Sit. 424 00:15:04,991 --> 00:15:06,470 Okay, all right. 425 00:15:06,601 --> 00:15:07,950 - [humming] Hello. - All right. 426 00:15:08,081 --> 00:15:09,517 [mutters] Lyle, 427 00:15:09,647 --> 00:15:12,389 are you sure you don't want to lie down and rest? 428 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:13,521 I'm fine. 429 00:15:13,651 --> 00:15:14,783 No, no, no, I'm fine. 430 00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:15,871 I'm fine. 431 00:15:16,002 --> 00:15:17,481 Hey, Lyle, I need your help with a... 432 00:15:17,612 --> 00:15:19,179 I'm fine. 433 00:15:19,309 --> 00:15:20,745 Fine... 434 00:15:20,876 --> 00:15:22,573 They, um, extracted a tooth. 435 00:15:22,704 --> 00:15:23,531 The nitrous oxide 436 00:15:23,661 --> 00:15:24,967 hasn't worn off yet. 437 00:15:25,098 --> 00:15:26,577 - Well, what's he doing here? - He insisted. 438 00:15:26,708 --> 00:15:28,014 He almost passed out after seeing the drill. 439 00:15:28,144 --> 00:15:29,363 [chuckles] 440 00:15:29,493 --> 00:15:30,277 I think he's afraid to be home alone. 441 00:15:30,407 --> 00:15:31,669 Lyle? 442 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:32,714 Lyle? [speaks Spanish] 443 00:15:32,844 --> 00:15:35,282 I'm gonna go get you some water. 444 00:15:35,412 --> 00:15:36,936 Okay. 445 00:15:39,677 --> 00:15:40,852 M'kay. 446 00:15:40,983 --> 00:15:42,028 So... 447 00:15:43,507 --> 00:15:44,944 ...what do you need my help with? 448 00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:47,120 Well, I'm trying to track down a criminal hacker 449 00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:49,339 who fakes medical credentials and steals email accounts, 450 00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:52,299 but you're clearly in no shape to help, so..."Dock weh." 451 00:15:52,429 --> 00:15:53,343 Hm?"Dock weh." 452 00:15:53,474 --> 00:15:55,519 "Dock way-buh." 453 00:15:55,650 --> 00:15:57,782 Dark web? Are you saying dark web? 454 00:15:57,913 --> 00:15:58,783 "Dock weh." 455 00:15:58,914 --> 00:16:00,089 I-I can't go on the dark web 456 00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:02,091 from a work computer, I'd get fired. 457 00:16:02,222 --> 00:16:03,353 Use a computer 458 00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:05,790 with its own Internet "serber." 459 00:16:05,921 --> 00:16:07,314 What?"Swerber." 460 00:16:07,444 --> 00:16:08,663 "S-Swerver." 461 00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:10,534 But we all share the same server. 462 00:16:10,665 --> 00:16:12,145 Oh, no, no, no, no, we don't. 463 00:16:12,275 --> 00:16:14,016 Shh. No. 464 00:16:14,147 --> 00:16:17,106 "Merriff Tolding" has his own "swerber." 465 00:16:17,237 --> 00:16:18,978 Merritt Folding has his own server? 466 00:16:19,108 --> 00:16:20,631 And he is "neber hee-oh." 467 00:16:20,762 --> 00:16:23,634 And he is "neber hee-oh." 468 00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,723 But Folding's computer 469 00:16:25,854 --> 00:16:27,725 would be protected, right? Like Beverly? 470 00:16:27,856 --> 00:16:29,466 You can only access it with his fingerprint? 471 00:16:29,597 --> 00:16:31,686 And mine. 472 00:16:31,816 --> 00:16:34,167 System administrator. 473 00:16:34,297 --> 00:16:35,429 Boop. 474 00:16:41,304 --> 00:16:44,177 ♪ ♪ 475 00:16:44,307 --> 00:16:46,266 Ooh, fancy-fancy. 476 00:16:50,052 --> 00:16:52,489 Well, hello, Merritt Folding. 477 00:16:54,883 --> 00:16:56,406 If you'll just let me speak to someone in charge, 478 00:16:56,537 --> 00:16:57,755 I'm certain they'll be interested 479 00:16:57,886 --> 00:16:59,148 in this fantastic opportunity. 480 00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:03,022 Sir, we are a law firm. And I really don't think... 481 00:17:03,152 --> 00:17:04,762 Just look at our brochure. 482 00:17:04,893 --> 00:17:07,983 Francey! I just want to double-check the, uh, details 483 00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:09,289 of my meeting with Rory McIntosh this morning. 484 00:17:09,419 --> 00:17:11,421 Which you just did an hour ago. 485 00:17:11,552 --> 00:17:12,683 The conference room is all set. 486 00:17:12,814 --> 00:17:14,642 Okay, thanks, I just... 487 00:17:14,772 --> 00:17:16,426 I have to win this client, 488 00:17:16,557 --> 00:17:18,298 so please let me know - when he arrives. - Mm-hmm. 489 00:17:18,428 --> 00:17:20,169 [elevator bell dings] I think he's kind of tall. 490 00:17:22,215 --> 00:17:24,260 Ah, I can wait. I'd be happy to. 491 00:17:24,391 --> 00:17:25,522 You know what, 492 00:17:25,653 --> 00:17:26,784 I'm gonna grab a coffee, maybe a snack. 493 00:17:26,915 --> 00:17:27,959 Just... Thanks so much. 494 00:17:29,396 --> 00:17:31,006 [Scottish accent]: Hello there. Rory McIntosh, 495 00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:32,529 here to meet with Susan Yang. 496 00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:34,531 But tell me, which way is your restroom? 497 00:17:34,662 --> 00:17:35,532 That way. 498 00:17:35,663 --> 00:17:37,578 Thanks so much. 499 00:17:37,708 --> 00:17:39,188 LYLE: Okay... 500 00:17:40,581 --> 00:17:42,061 - Dark web. - What? 501 00:17:42,191 --> 00:17:45,064 Dark web. ♪ Scary place, scary people. ♪ 502 00:17:46,326 --> 00:17:47,936 Maybe we shouldn't do this. 503 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,243 Oh, uh, you know what? Um... 504 00:17:50,373 --> 00:17:51,679 look at this. Merritt Folding just texted. 505 00:17:51,809 --> 00:17:53,681 He says hi, and it's okay, 506 00:17:53,811 --> 00:17:55,683 and he wants you to help me with this case no matter what. 507 00:17:55,813 --> 00:17:57,511 - He said that? - Mm-hmm. 508 00:17:57,641 --> 00:17:59,861 He knows Todd and Lyle - are in his office? - Yep. 509 00:17:59,991 --> 00:18:01,384 Todd and Lyle. 510 00:18:01,515 --> 00:18:02,690 Tyle. 511 00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:03,691 Tyle! 512 00:18:03,821 --> 00:18:05,171 That's right. Team Lodd. 513 00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:08,304 Now, let's go ahead and, uh, dark web us up. 514 00:18:08,435 --> 00:18:09,653 You got it. 515 00:18:09,784 --> 00:18:11,351 Oh, cap'n, my cap'n. 516 00:18:11,481 --> 00:18:13,092 [chuckles] 517 00:18:20,621 --> 00:18:22,666 [whistling a tune] 518 00:18:26,714 --> 00:18:28,107 Why does the firm use your fingerprint 519 00:18:28,237 --> 00:18:29,673 to gain security access? 520 00:18:29,804 --> 00:18:31,719 My fingerprint has an arch. 521 00:18:31,849 --> 00:18:34,069 Only five percent of the population has 'em. 522 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,332 [trilling] Yay. 523 00:18:37,942 --> 00:18:39,074 TODD: Lapland? 524 00:18:39,205 --> 00:18:40,815 Is this a gum? 525 00:18:40,945 --> 00:18:42,556 Merritt Folding chews gum 526 00:18:42,686 --> 00:18:43,905 from Lapland? 527 00:18:45,254 --> 00:18:46,168 Is one of you Merritt Folding? 528 00:18:47,430 --> 00:18:48,475 The Merritt Folding? 529 00:18:50,085 --> 00:18:51,739 Lead counsel on the PDX Securities tribunal? 530 00:18:52,957 --> 00:18:55,569 Brilliant work. Gah, you're a legend! 531 00:18:55,699 --> 00:18:56,657 [chuckles] 532 00:18:56,787 --> 00:18:57,962 And so young. 533 00:18:58,093 --> 00:18:59,877 I cannot believe that you're here. 534 00:19:00,008 --> 00:19:02,184 I heard that you're a recluse. 535 00:19:02,315 --> 00:19:05,187 [Scottish accent]: Aye. Nay. Merritt Folding. 536 00:19:05,318 --> 00:19:06,232 In the flesh. 537 00:19:06,362 --> 00:19:08,843 Feast your eyes upon me. [chuckles] 538 00:19:08,973 --> 00:19:09,800 No. Are you Scottish? 539 00:19:09,931 --> 00:19:11,715 Aye. 540 00:19:12,977 --> 00:19:14,327 Now you've been evicted. 541 00:19:14,457 --> 00:19:16,546 What am I gonna do? Where am I gonna live? 542 00:19:16,677 --> 00:19:18,374 Okay, okay, don't panic. Francey? 543 00:19:18,505 --> 00:19:19,767 Okay, just make yourself at home right in my office 544 00:19:19,897 --> 00:19:20,898 and I'll be right back. 545 00:19:21,029 --> 00:19:21,899 Francey? 546 00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:23,205 SUSAN: Where is he? It's 11:05. 547 00:19:23,336 --> 00:19:25,425 Oh! That must be him. Rory McIntosh. 548 00:19:25,555 --> 00:19:27,514 Hello, hi. [chuckles] 549 00:19:27,644 --> 00:19:29,168 I'm Susan Yang. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. 550 00:19:30,343 --> 00:19:31,300 You too. 551 00:19:31,431 --> 00:19:32,823 You too. 552 00:19:32,954 --> 00:19:34,347 My Scottish brother! 553 00:19:34,477 --> 00:19:38,438 Rory McIntosh, CEO, 4X Technology Innovators. 554 00:19:38,568 --> 00:19:39,830 I'm here to meet Susan Yang. 555 00:19:39,961 --> 00:19:41,832 - Susan? - Aye. Yeah. 556 00:19:41,963 --> 00:19:43,051 I'm about to go public-- I'd be an idiot 557 00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:44,400 to do that without a law firm. 558 00:19:44,531 --> 00:19:45,706 Whereabouts in Scotland are you from? 559 00:19:45,836 --> 00:19:47,838 Oh, um, uh, Loch Narb. 560 00:19:47,969 --> 00:19:49,492 Right around the bend from Loch Ness. 561 00:19:49,623 --> 00:19:51,102 But we got a wee different monster, don't we? 562 00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:54,410 Yeah, ours is an enormous white crab. 563 00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:56,978 [laughs] Look at us, two young bastards, Ow. 564 00:19:57,108 --> 00:19:58,458 conquering Portland. 565 00:19:58,588 --> 00:19:59,589 Right, right. 566 00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:01,939 [sing-song]: And we are in! 567 00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:03,419 TODD: Oh, uh... 568 00:20:03,550 --> 00:20:06,205 this is my assistant, Todd. 569 00:20:06,335 --> 00:20:07,423 Yeah, he's a bit out of it. 570 00:20:08,511 --> 00:20:09,382 Hey, why don't we go to the kitchen 571 00:20:09,512 --> 00:20:10,513 and grab a bite to eat 572 00:20:10,644 --> 00:20:11,601 - while he works, huh? - Aye. 573 00:20:11,732 --> 00:20:12,994 [grunting softly] 574 00:20:14,517 --> 00:20:15,823 [grunts] 575 00:20:15,953 --> 00:20:16,998 JEAN: I can't believe 576 00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:18,913 - Folding is here. - Yeah, I guess he's meeting 577 00:20:19,043 --> 00:20:20,741 with some guy, some tall I guy I just saw 578 00:20:20,871 --> 00:20:22,090 - in the kitchen. - Oh, my God. 579 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,657 Oh, Francey, there you are. 580 00:20:23,787 --> 00:20:24,875 Can you please make a case file... 581 00:20:25,006 --> 00:20:26,137 Folding is here. 582 00:20:26,268 --> 00:20:27,226 - What? - Folding. 583 00:20:27,356 --> 00:20:28,705 Here? Why? 584 00:20:28,836 --> 00:20:30,925 I-I heard he's meeting with Rory McIntosh, 585 00:20:31,055 --> 00:20:31,621 who's in the kitchen. 586 00:20:31,752 --> 00:20:33,580 What? Rory? 587 00:20:33,710 --> 00:20:35,669 The client Susan - is trying to sign? - Yes. 588 00:20:35,799 --> 00:20:37,801 Wait, if she brought Folding into her meeting instead of me, 589 00:20:37,932 --> 00:20:39,586 they're shoving me out. 590 00:20:39,716 --> 00:20:42,110 Take... No... The audacity. They are going to include me 591 00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:43,677 whether they like it or not. 592 00:20:43,807 --> 00:20:46,506 I'm gonna go talk to this Rory McIntosh... 593 00:20:46,636 --> 00:20:48,072 right now. 594 00:20:48,203 --> 00:20:49,900 Go get 'em. 595 00:20:50,031 --> 00:20:51,250 LEO: Huh. Impressive. 596 00:20:51,380 --> 00:20:52,381 And that's why they included me 597 00:20:52,512 --> 00:20:54,253 in the 40 under 40 profile. 598 00:20:54,383 --> 00:20:57,212 - That's me. Number 22 of 40. - Wow. 599 00:20:57,343 --> 00:20:59,649 You should be really proud of all your achievements. 600 00:20:59,780 --> 00:21:00,911 Thank you. 601 00:21:01,042 --> 00:21:02,957 But having you as a client 602 00:21:03,087 --> 00:21:04,263 is the kind of achievement we dream about. 603 00:21:04,393 --> 00:21:05,916 Fighting for you, 604 00:21:06,047 --> 00:21:07,875 building your future. 605 00:21:08,005 --> 00:21:10,225 It's the whole reason I became a lawyer. 606 00:21:10,356 --> 00:21:13,141 I got to say, uh, your firm 607 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:14,534 really knows how to make a guy 608 00:21:14,664 --> 00:21:15,752 feel valuable. 609 00:21:15,883 --> 00:21:17,276 Of course. 610 00:21:17,406 --> 00:21:18,625 [chuckles] 611 00:21:20,017 --> 00:21:21,149 My presentation. Okay. 612 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,456 My laptop. I will be right back. 613 00:21:23,586 --> 00:21:25,371 You eat that cake. [chuckles][chuckles] 614 00:21:25,501 --> 00:21:27,590 Okay.[door opens] 615 00:21:27,721 --> 00:21:30,114 - Oh, these tacos are incredible. - Yeah. 616 00:21:30,245 --> 00:21:31,942 When my company was a start-up-- 617 00:21:32,073 --> 00:21:33,683 two employees, no revenue-- 618 00:21:33,814 --> 00:21:35,555 I lived off tacos. 619 00:21:35,685 --> 00:21:36,904 Was all I could afford. 620 00:21:37,034 --> 00:21:38,471 Ah, indeed, me blighty. 621 00:21:38,601 --> 00:21:39,515 Or me matey? 622 00:21:39,646 --> 00:21:40,951 But tell me, 623 00:21:41,082 --> 00:21:42,736 from one young Scot to another, 624 00:21:42,866 --> 00:21:45,869 how did you build your company into what it is today? 625 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,784 - Trust the product. - Hmm. 626 00:21:47,915 --> 00:21:50,396 Aye. You dinna need gimmicks, giveaways, 627 00:21:50,526 --> 00:21:52,702 uh, spend all your cash on silly promotions. 628 00:21:52,833 --> 00:21:54,574 If you're selling quality products and services, 629 00:21:54,704 --> 00:21:56,750 - your customers find you. - Trust the product. 630 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:58,317 That's bloody brilliant advice, Rory. 631 00:21:58,447 --> 00:21:59,535 Rory? 632 00:22:00,536 --> 00:22:01,798 Hello there, lassie. 633 00:22:01,929 --> 00:22:02,843 Rory McIntosh. How are you? 634 00:22:02,973 --> 00:22:04,758 Rory McIntosh? 635 00:22:04,888 --> 00:22:06,237 That's what the man said, 636 00:22:06,368 --> 00:22:07,978 and you're looking bonny today, 637 00:22:08,109 --> 00:22:09,328 - Susan. - Susan Yang? 638 00:22:09,458 --> 00:22:11,330 Oh, Merritt here has been filling me 639 00:22:11,460 --> 00:22:12,809 with tacos and nonsense. 640 00:22:12,940 --> 00:22:13,854 I'm so pleased to finally meet you. 641 00:22:13,984 --> 00:22:15,551 - Hi. - Right. 642 00:22:15,682 --> 00:22:17,161 Let's get back to your office, 643 00:22:17,292 --> 00:22:19,425 and I can hear what - your firm has to offer. - Aye. 644 00:22:19,555 --> 00:22:22,906 - Merritt Folding? - Aye... 645 00:22:23,037 --> 00:22:24,386 MARGARET: I was told I could find you in the kitchen. 646 00:22:24,517 --> 00:22:26,780 Margaret Wright of Crest, Folding and Wright. 647 00:22:26,910 --> 00:22:29,826 And I just stopped by to let you know, personally, 648 00:22:29,957 --> 00:22:32,655 that, as name and managing partner, 649 00:22:32,786 --> 00:22:34,918 we would be thrilled to be in business with you. 650 00:22:35,049 --> 00:22:36,964 [chuckles]: Well, I am delighted to hear that. 651 00:22:37,094 --> 00:22:39,183 [laughs]: Well, as am I. 652 00:22:39,314 --> 00:22:41,795 We are just chomping at the bit to make this happen. 653 00:22:43,144 --> 00:22:45,451 If you'd be happy to sign today.[gasps] 654 00:22:45,581 --> 00:22:49,411 Oh, yes, ooh, yes. I would be so very happy, yes. 655 00:22:49,542 --> 00:22:51,500 Um, I'm just gonna go tell my assistant 656 00:22:51,631 --> 00:22:53,372 to fill out the proper paperwork. 657 00:22:56,157 --> 00:22:57,419 [squeals quietly] 658 00:22:57,550 --> 00:22:58,899 So, how about a drink, Merritt? 659 00:22:59,029 --> 00:23:00,379 All right. 660 00:23:00,509 --> 00:23:01,205 I really think we'd be more comfortable 661 00:23:01,336 --> 00:23:02,337 in the conference room. 662 00:23:02,468 --> 00:23:03,686 No, let's stay in here. 663 00:23:03,817 --> 00:23:04,992 Now, I don't need another 664 00:23:05,122 --> 00:23:06,254 PowerPoint presentation 665 00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:08,430 or to end up at a stuffy, auld firm. 666 00:23:08,561 --> 00:23:10,432 That's why I was so pleased to meet this young titan. 667 00:23:10,563 --> 00:23:11,520 And a fellow Scot. 668 00:23:11,651 --> 00:23:13,392 Aye! 669 00:23:13,522 --> 00:23:14,958 [phone rings] 670 00:23:15,089 --> 00:23:16,612 RORY: Excuse me. 671 00:23:16,743 --> 00:23:17,874 Work calls. 672 00:23:18,005 --> 00:23:18,788 - Of course. - Hello? 673 00:23:20,050 --> 00:23:21,922 [whispers]: What the hell are you doing? 674 00:23:22,052 --> 00:23:24,141 [regular accent]: He assumed that I was Folding and Scottish, 675 00:23:24,272 --> 00:23:25,665 so I had to go along with it. 676 00:23:25,795 --> 00:23:26,970 And I've been watching a lot of Shrek lately. 677 00:23:27,101 --> 00:23:28,668 Like, a lot. 678 00:23:28,798 --> 00:23:30,365 And-and what are you doing in here, and... [gasps] 679 00:23:30,496 --> 00:23:32,019 Who was I just meeting with in the conf... 680 00:23:32,149 --> 00:23:33,324 We're hacking the dark web. 681 00:23:33,455 --> 00:23:34,630 Oh, great. 682 00:23:34,761 --> 00:23:37,328 Look, you're trying to land Rory as a client. 683 00:23:37,459 --> 00:23:39,461 He loves me. He'll totally sign on. 684 00:23:39,592 --> 00:23:41,115 Well, yeah, if you pretend to be Merritt Folding 685 00:23:41,245 --> 00:23:43,117 the entire time we represent him. 686 00:23:43,247 --> 00:23:45,772 And why are you on the dark web on this computer? 687 00:23:45,902 --> 00:23:47,991 You're on the dark web? 688 00:23:49,036 --> 00:23:50,646 Yes? Y-Yes. 689 00:23:50,777 --> 00:23:53,780 Uh, we will go to any lengths to help our clients. 690 00:23:53,910 --> 00:23:55,956 That's brilliant, innit? What are you looking for? 691 00:23:56,086 --> 00:23:58,437 A very scary hacker, 692 00:23:58,567 --> 00:24:00,917 but I can't keep up with this dynamic encryption. 693 00:24:01,048 --> 00:24:03,572 It's so fast. Zoom, zoom. 694 00:24:03,703 --> 00:24:04,965 You need more processing power, Todd. 695 00:24:05,095 --> 00:24:05,966 A single computer's 696 00:24:06,096 --> 00:24:08,272 no match for the dark web. 697 00:24:08,403 --> 00:24:10,405 You know, my company makes a mobile device 698 00:24:10,536 --> 00:24:11,667 that can turn any computer 699 00:24:11,798 --> 00:24:12,973 into a rocket powerful enough 700 00:24:13,103 --> 00:24:15,671 to handle anything. And I mean anything. 701 00:24:15,802 --> 00:24:16,585 [Scottish accent]: A rocket? 702 00:24:16,716 --> 00:24:18,369 Aye. 703 00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:21,677 I happen to have one right here. 704 00:24:21,808 --> 00:24:23,679 A rocket in your pocket? 705 00:24:25,115 --> 00:24:25,986 Aye. 706 00:24:26,116 --> 00:24:27,944 Francey! Francey. 707 00:24:28,075 --> 00:24:30,077 I showed them. 708 00:24:30,207 --> 00:24:33,689 I just signed Rory McIntosh in his fabulous purple suit 709 00:24:33,820 --> 00:24:34,951 all by myself, 710 00:24:35,082 --> 00:24:36,736 without Merritt or Susan. 711 00:24:36,866 --> 00:24:38,912 I'm going to singlehandedly save this firm. 712 00:24:39,042 --> 00:24:41,088 Hmm. Purple suit? 713 00:24:41,218 --> 00:24:42,219 Yes, in the kitchen, like you said. 714 00:24:42,350 --> 00:24:44,178 That man is raising money 715 00:24:44,308 --> 00:24:48,138 - for vegan reptile rescue hotels. - What? 716 00:24:48,269 --> 00:24:50,663 That man you just entered into a verbal agreement with... Uh-huh. 717 00:24:50,793 --> 00:24:52,708 is not Rory McIntosh. 718 00:24:52,839 --> 00:24:53,883 That man represents 719 00:24:54,014 --> 00:24:56,843 a charity pairing endangered reptiles 720 00:24:56,973 --> 00:24:59,149 with rehabilitative 721 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:00,629 housing centers for the disenfranchised. 722 00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:02,936 I've just agreed to sponsor 723 00:25:03,066 --> 00:25:05,286 a lounge of imperiled lizards? 724 00:25:05,416 --> 00:25:08,332 Yes, and here is our first 725 00:25:08,463 --> 00:25:10,813 displaced dragon. 726 00:25:10,944 --> 00:25:11,727 There you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.[whimpering] 727 00:25:11,858 --> 00:25:13,250 [muttering][giggling] 728 00:25:13,381 --> 00:25:14,338 You'll be giving her a home 729 00:25:14,469 --> 00:25:16,732 and a new lease on life. 730 00:25:16,863 --> 00:25:18,386 - Oh. Here, Francey. - Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 731 00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:20,257 No, legally, I can't. Yeah. 732 00:25:20,388 --> 00:25:21,607 Hmm. 733 00:25:21,737 --> 00:25:23,086 Wait a minute. 734 00:25:27,134 --> 00:25:29,353 Aye, there's the data you wanted. 735 00:25:29,484 --> 00:25:31,138 So, who's our wee pesky hacker? 736 00:25:31,268 --> 00:25:33,270 That we are trying to locate only to help a client. 737 00:25:33,401 --> 00:25:35,272 - Right. - Nexus21 738 00:25:35,403 --> 00:25:37,666 is her "fakeroni" hacker name. 739 00:25:37,797 --> 00:25:39,581 But her real name is... [gasps] 740 00:25:39,712 --> 00:25:40,974 Piper Harlow. 741 00:25:41,104 --> 00:25:43,237 You know, I forgot how much I missed going down 742 00:25:43,367 --> 00:25:44,543 the dark web rabbit hole. 743 00:25:44,673 --> 00:25:46,240 Well, once you sign up with us, 744 00:25:46,370 --> 00:25:48,155 we can make this a weekly ritual. 745 00:25:48,285 --> 00:25:50,070 Taco Dark Web Rabbit Hole Tuesdays. 746 00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:51,375 [chuckles weakly] 747 00:25:51,506 --> 00:25:52,812 Yeah, I'll admit, the thought 748 00:25:52,942 --> 00:25:54,553 of working with a fellow Scot-- that's tempting. 749 00:25:54,683 --> 00:25:56,946 But Granger Zisk 750 00:25:57,077 --> 00:25:58,992 has been pressing me pretty hard for my business. 751 00:25:59,122 --> 00:26:01,211 And you should consider all of your options. 752 00:26:01,342 --> 00:26:02,691 However, at Crest, Fold... 753 00:26:02,822 --> 00:26:04,954 Eh, you're off your head if you go with Granger Zisk. 754 00:26:05,085 --> 00:26:07,522 A bunch of boring old bampots, if you ask me. 755 00:26:07,653 --> 00:26:08,871 You're off your head. 756 00:26:09,002 --> 00:26:10,177 [both shouting] 757 00:26:10,307 --> 00:26:11,439 A funny man, huh?[muttering] 758 00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:13,659 Ah, get in here. - All right. - Okay. 759 00:26:13,789 --> 00:26:16,792 That'll do it, Todd. That'll do. 760 00:26:16,923 --> 00:26:19,055 LYLE: This feels so good. 761 00:26:19,186 --> 00:26:21,057 So, until we get your case straightened out 762 00:26:21,188 --> 00:26:22,624 and you back into your apartment, 763 00:26:22,755 --> 00:26:24,365 this is where you'll be living, 764 00:26:24,495 --> 00:26:26,323 a-at no cost to you whatsoever. 765 00:26:26,454 --> 00:26:28,108 And all you have to do is provide 766 00:26:28,238 --> 00:26:29,544 some companionship 767 00:26:29,675 --> 00:26:30,676 and light care 768 00:26:30,806 --> 00:26:33,417 to some very troubled... reptiles. 769 00:26:36,246 --> 00:26:38,597 How did you know I love iguanas? 770 00:26:38,727 --> 00:26:39,641 [gasps] 771 00:26:39,772 --> 00:26:41,295 Intuition. 772 00:26:41,425 --> 00:26:43,297 I can't tell you how wonderful 773 00:26:43,427 --> 00:26:45,038 you've all made me feel. 774 00:26:45,168 --> 00:26:46,735 Like I'm really worth something. 775 00:26:46,866 --> 00:26:48,171 Well, of course you are worth something, Leo. 776 00:26:48,302 --> 00:26:49,172 And as soon as we figure out 777 00:26:49,303 --> 00:26:50,521 the hacker behind this... 778 00:26:50,652 --> 00:26:52,436 I found the lad. Uh, lassie. 779 00:26:52,567 --> 00:26:54,482 I found the hacker. 780 00:26:54,613 --> 00:26:55,744 Aye, it's Piper, me mates. 781 00:26:55,875 --> 00:26:57,528 Uh, me scurvies. 782 00:26:57,659 --> 00:26:59,661 [regular accent]: Wh... It's Piper Harlow. 783 00:26:59,792 --> 00:27:02,185 Why do you sound like an Australian Scottish pirate? 784 00:27:02,316 --> 00:27:03,317 I've had a lot of tacos today. 785 00:27:03,447 --> 00:27:05,319 Piper Harlow? Uh, Leo, 786 00:27:05,449 --> 00:27:06,363 do you know any Piper Harlow? 787 00:27:06,494 --> 00:27:08,670 Uh... I looked her up online. 788 00:27:08,801 --> 00:27:11,107 Piper Harlow is currently serving a five-year sentence 789 00:27:11,238 --> 00:27:13,022 at the Oregon State Correctional Facility, 790 00:27:13,153 --> 00:27:16,025 where she has no computer access whatsoever. 791 00:27:16,156 --> 00:27:18,027 But how could she have possibly paper-killed Leo 792 00:27:18,158 --> 00:27:19,681 from inside of a prison cell? 793 00:27:19,812 --> 00:27:21,335 [Scottish accent]: Aye, it is 794 00:27:21,465 --> 00:27:23,816 a wee bit of a head-scratcher. 795 00:27:29,604 --> 00:27:31,301 [gate buzzes in distance] 796 00:27:35,915 --> 00:27:37,612 Hello, Piper. 797 00:27:37,743 --> 00:27:39,658 Who the hell are you? 798 00:27:39,788 --> 00:27:42,312 Are you Greg from my Prison Pen Pals ad? 799 00:27:42,443 --> 00:27:44,227 'Cause I'm not sure I want to get married anymore. 800 00:27:44,358 --> 00:27:46,752 Ha, ha. No. 801 00:27:46,882 --> 00:27:49,972 Listen, I want to hire you to do a little job for me. 802 00:27:50,103 --> 00:27:52,801 Well, um, I'm in prison, idiot. 803 00:27:52,932 --> 00:27:54,760 Yeah, but word on the street is 804 00:27:54,890 --> 00:27:56,849 even on the inside, you know how to kill people 805 00:27:56,979 --> 00:27:58,285 on paper. 806 00:27:58,415 --> 00:27:59,808 Like you did to Leo Hart? 807 00:28:00,983 --> 00:28:01,984 Never heard of the guy. 808 00:28:02,115 --> 00:28:03,203 Really? 809 00:28:03,333 --> 00:28:05,031 Because we traced your digital footprint. 810 00:28:05,161 --> 00:28:06,859 You mean "fingerprint," dummy. 811 00:28:06,989 --> 00:28:07,903 Cops don't dust 812 00:28:08,034 --> 00:28:09,949 for footprints. 813 00:28:10,079 --> 00:28:11,777 - Look, I got to go. - Wait, wait, hold on. No. 814 00:28:13,648 --> 00:28:16,129 I will drop 100 bucks into your commissary account 815 00:28:16,259 --> 00:28:17,957 if you answer just one more question. 816 00:28:18,087 --> 00:28:19,132 Make it two. 817 00:28:19,262 --> 00:28:20,699 Two questions for $100? Fantastic. 818 00:28:20,829 --> 00:28:22,048 $200. 819 00:28:22,178 --> 00:28:24,659 Right. Yeah, that makes more sense. 820 00:28:24,790 --> 00:28:27,053 Okay. Deal. Tell me, 821 00:28:27,183 --> 00:28:30,752 in order to gain backdoor access on the dark web, 822 00:28:30,883 --> 00:28:33,320 did you use triple encryption or static malware? 823 00:28:33,450 --> 00:28:34,887 Static malware. 824 00:28:35,017 --> 00:28:36,932 Perfect. 825 00:28:37,063 --> 00:28:38,629 Because I made that one up. 826 00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:41,197 Doesn't exist, which you would know 827 00:28:41,328 --> 00:28:43,112 if you were a hardened, criminal computer hacker, 828 00:28:43,243 --> 00:28:45,158 but you're not. 829 00:28:45,288 --> 00:28:49,162 And something tells me you're also not Piper Harlow. 830 00:28:50,337 --> 00:28:52,469 I am Piper Harlow. 831 00:28:54,515 --> 00:28:56,691 TODD: I'm telling you, 832 00:28:56,822 --> 00:28:58,954 this rando woman has totally somehow swapped places 833 00:28:59,085 --> 00:29:00,477 with Piper in prison. 834 00:29:00,608 --> 00:29:02,741 Are you suggesting that the real Piper has paid 835 00:29:02,871 --> 00:29:04,394 this other woman to serve her time? 836 00:29:04,525 --> 00:29:06,788 Mm-hmm.[groans] 837 00:29:06,919 --> 00:29:08,703 That is a mind-boggling supposition 838 00:29:08,834 --> 00:29:11,271 that would require a next-to-impossible network 839 00:29:11,401 --> 00:29:13,273 of crooked contacts inside the penal system. 840 00:29:13,403 --> 00:29:14,491 Ooh, I don't like you saying "penal." 841 00:29:14,622 --> 00:29:17,625 Speaking of sensitive people, 842 00:29:17,756 --> 00:29:20,846 I hope that Susan was able to land Rory McIntosh, 843 00:29:20,976 --> 00:29:23,544 whom I did not have the pleasure of meeting, as a client. 844 00:29:23,674 --> 00:29:25,372 That would put us in the black, 845 00:29:25,502 --> 00:29:28,244 for a few weeks, anyway. 846 00:29:28,375 --> 00:29:30,769 I don't know, I heard McIntosh really hit it off 847 00:29:30,899 --> 00:29:31,944 - with Merritt Folding. - Folding? 848 00:29:32,074 --> 00:29:32,988 The little worm. 849 00:29:33,119 --> 00:29:34,163 But he is still leaning 850 00:29:34,294 --> 00:29:35,556 towards Granger Zisk. 851 00:29:35,686 --> 00:29:38,080 Those vultures. [groans] Again. 852 00:29:38,211 --> 00:29:40,735 You see, I'm not sure that Susan has the experience 853 00:29:40,866 --> 00:29:42,824 to close a deal of this size. 854 00:29:42,955 --> 00:29:45,435 So step in. Give her some guidance. 855 00:29:45,566 --> 00:29:47,220 Lead the cows into the barn, 856 00:29:47,350 --> 00:29:49,091 o-or tuck the monkeys into their little monkey bed, 857 00:29:49,222 --> 00:29:52,791 or-or harpoon the whales into the, um... 858 00:29:52,921 --> 00:29:54,662 Or you sh... You can gi... 859 00:29:54,793 --> 00:29:56,316 You know, so they could swim, 'cause... Mm-hmm. 860 00:29:56,446 --> 00:29:57,578 You should probably stop while you're behind. 861 00:29:57,708 --> 00:29:58,709 We should save the whales. 862 00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:00,581 Anyway, Susan does not want my advice 863 00:30:00,711 --> 00:30:02,235 or my help or anything. 864 00:30:02,365 --> 00:30:06,195 In fact, lately, she's been a pain in my butt. 865 00:30:06,326 --> 00:30:09,198 However, maybe... 866 00:30:09,329 --> 00:30:13,855 may... maybe you could suggest to her 867 00:30:13,986 --> 00:30:17,337 that she give this client Rory, uh, an extravagant gift basket. 868 00:30:17,467 --> 00:30:18,599 - Yes, yes, yes! - Mm. 869 00:30:18,729 --> 00:30:20,035 - Text this to her right now. - Right now? 870 00:30:20,166 --> 00:30:22,429 Uh, full of Scottish comfort food, 871 00:30:22,559 --> 00:30:24,474 like haggis and biskies 872 00:30:24,605 --> 00:30:26,607 Biskies?and-and luxury items and, oh, 873 00:30:26,737 --> 00:30:27,695 and a little card that reads, 874 00:30:27,826 --> 00:30:28,696 [Scottish accent]: "At C.F. and W, 875 00:30:28,827 --> 00:30:30,132 you'll always be at home." 876 00:30:30,263 --> 00:30:31,046 [regular accent]: Text that to her right now. 877 00:30:31,177 --> 00:30:32,656 I am texting as fast as I can, ma'am. 878 00:30:32,787 --> 00:30:35,007 [door opens] 879 00:30:35,137 --> 00:30:37,052 - Sorry I'm late. - Oh. 880 00:30:37,183 --> 00:30:41,491 No problem, dear. Uh, the food is still warm. 881 00:30:41,622 --> 00:30:44,581 And I see that you've had your 882 00:30:44,712 --> 00:30:45,582 roots done. 883 00:30:45,713 --> 00:30:47,193 Yeah, I did them myself. 884 00:30:47,323 --> 00:30:48,542 Oh. And they look... 885 00:30:48,672 --> 00:30:49,586 great? 886 00:30:49,717 --> 00:30:51,240 Well, I am just thrilled 887 00:30:51,371 --> 00:30:52,894 that you've made it here at all. 888 00:30:53,025 --> 00:30:55,027 - What is that supposed to mean? - Nothing. 889 00:30:55,157 --> 00:30:56,376 I just know that you worked overnight shift 890 00:30:56,506 --> 00:30:58,857 and you're clearly very tired, 891 00:30:58,987 --> 00:31:01,729 and... but you showed up here... I'm not very tired, I'm... 892 00:31:02,773 --> 00:31:04,297 I dressed up for you. 893 00:31:04,427 --> 00:31:05,951 - I put on this nice scarf. - Well, you dressed up 894 00:31:06,081 --> 00:31:08,127 your neck. - The rest is just gross. - It doesn't matter 895 00:31:08,257 --> 00:31:09,824 what I wear, you're always gonna criticize... 896 00:31:09,955 --> 00:31:11,608 Allison, I'm happy you're here. 897 00:31:11,739 --> 00:31:13,175 I don't want to fight. 898 00:31:13,306 --> 00:31:14,960 I just want to feed you.[scoffs] 899 00:31:15,090 --> 00:31:16,222 Okay. 900 00:31:16,352 --> 00:31:18,180 [pouring wine] 901 00:31:18,311 --> 00:31:20,748 [clears throat] And... 902 00:31:20,879 --> 00:31:22,750 if you would like to invite your new friend 903 00:31:22,881 --> 00:31:24,230 for dinner sometime... Oh, boy. 904 00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:25,927 - My new friend? - The one 905 00:31:26,058 --> 00:31:28,625 without the pants. He seems very charming. 906 00:31:28,756 --> 00:31:29,844 Charming. Okay. 907 00:31:29,975 --> 00:31:32,020 Mm-hmm. Yeah, okay. 908 00:31:32,151 --> 00:31:33,587 Now he seems charming. 909 00:31:33,717 --> 00:31:35,676 When you met him, he was disappointing. 910 00:31:35,806 --> 00:31:37,721 Like, I was disappointing. 911 00:31:37,852 --> 00:31:39,375 But now he's charming. 912 00:31:39,506 --> 00:31:41,900 Maybe I'll marry him, have his babies. 913 00:31:42,030 --> 00:31:44,380 Okay. - You do what you need to do. - Yeah. Yeah. 914 00:31:44,511 --> 00:31:47,514 I think I need to be Mrs. Dick Franks. 915 00:31:47,644 --> 00:31:49,516 I think I need a second husband 916 00:31:49,646 --> 00:31:51,300 who's had 17 heart attacks 917 00:31:51,431 --> 00:31:53,781 and what he's described as an open 918 00:31:53,912 --> 00:31:56,653 psychosexual relationship with my aunt. 919 00:31:57,828 --> 00:31:59,874 Todd, would you like some wine? 920 00:32:00,005 --> 00:32:01,006 No, I'd actually like to die. 921 00:32:01,136 --> 00:32:02,659 - Mm-hmm. - Mm. 922 00:32:04,661 --> 00:32:06,446 Why aren't you saying anything? 923 00:32:06,576 --> 00:32:08,013 Why aren't you criticizing me? 924 00:32:09,449 --> 00:32:11,103 Allison. 925 00:32:11,233 --> 00:32:12,931 If I say something, you're angry. 926 00:32:13,061 --> 00:32:14,933 If I don't say something, you're angry. 927 00:32:15,063 --> 00:32:17,283 I think you want to fight. 928 00:32:17,413 --> 00:32:20,677 I think you need to fight. To be mad at me. 929 00:32:20,808 --> 00:32:21,940 To be mad at everything. 930 00:32:22,070 --> 00:32:25,291 To-to blow your life up. 931 00:32:25,421 --> 00:32:28,772 And you've asked me not to control you. So, 932 00:32:28,903 --> 00:32:31,297 if you need to have a gigantic meltdown, 933 00:32:31,427 --> 00:32:33,255 I'm going to let you have a gigantic meltdown. 934 00:32:39,609 --> 00:32:41,176 Okay, that's fair. 935 00:32:43,265 --> 00:32:45,528 I am, yeah, admittedly, 936 00:32:45,659 --> 00:32:47,095 presenting a challenging situation. 937 00:32:47,226 --> 00:32:51,099 I-I want guardrails, but I don't. 938 00:32:51,230 --> 00:32:54,581 And... I just feel like everything is in flux right now. 939 00:32:54,711 --> 00:32:57,279 And I feel like I'm, like, hiding from myself 940 00:32:57,410 --> 00:32:59,847 inside my own life. 941 00:33:01,544 --> 00:33:03,372 Hiding... 942 00:33:03,503 --> 00:33:05,809 - From herself. - What if Piper Harlow... 943 00:33:05,940 --> 00:33:07,637 Is hiding from her life 944 00:33:07,768 --> 00:33:09,639 - inside her life. - Okay, sorry, I was sort of in the middle 945 00:33:09,770 --> 00:33:10,640 - of a big moment there. - There's another person pretending to be her... 946 00:33:10,771 --> 00:33:11,554 Right, so what's stopping 947 00:33:11,685 --> 00:33:12,686 the real Piper Harlow from... 948 00:33:12,816 --> 00:33:13,643 - Hiding in plain sight. - Okay, I'm glad my 949 00:33:13,774 --> 00:33:14,775 personal crisis is secondary to... 950 00:33:14,905 --> 00:33:16,168 In the safest, most comfortable 951 00:33:16,298 --> 00:33:17,734 place possible. 952 00:33:17,865 --> 00:33:19,345 - Okay. Yeah. Uh-huh. Okay. - TODD: What is her address? 953 00:33:19,475 --> 00:33:20,607 I'm glad that my problems could help you 954 00:33:20,737 --> 00:33:22,739 crack the case. Okay. I'll see you. 955 00:33:22,870 --> 00:33:24,393 Did you... Let me get her address. No, no, I have it. 956 00:33:24,524 --> 00:33:27,483 - ask Lyle? But he might. - No, Lyle doesn't have it. I... 957 00:33:27,614 --> 00:33:29,224 - Lyle does have it. - I'll be in the bath. If you care. If you're listening. Okay. 958 00:33:29,355 --> 00:33:30,443 He's been... All right, I'll text him. 959 00:33:30,573 --> 00:33:33,228 MARGARET: This is it? This is Piper's house? 960 00:33:33,359 --> 00:33:35,448 - Mm. - Hiding in her own home. 961 00:33:35,578 --> 00:33:37,232 It seems absurd, but... Look at all those 962 00:33:37,363 --> 00:33:38,799 blackout shades. She is in there, 963 00:33:38,929 --> 00:33:40,235 hiding from the whole world. 964 00:33:40,366 --> 00:33:41,715 I know it. Now we just need to get her 965 00:33:41,845 --> 00:33:43,586 to open the door and talk to us 966 00:33:43,717 --> 00:33:45,632 and tell the truth... Go lie down in that yard and play dead. 967 00:33:45,762 --> 00:33:47,068 What? Are you serious? 968 00:33:47,199 --> 00:33:48,504 First you're burying me alive 969 00:33:48,635 --> 00:33:50,419 - and now I'm playing dead? - I have an idea. 970 00:33:50,550 --> 00:33:51,986 And no one's going to open that door for nothing. 971 00:33:52,117 --> 00:33:53,596 You go lie down and play dead. 972 00:33:53,727 --> 00:33:56,251 - This is a $1,000 suit. - This is a $12 jacket! 973 00:33:56,382 --> 00:33:57,905 Wh... 974 00:34:00,647 --> 00:34:01,996 What are you doing? 975 00:34:02,127 --> 00:34:03,911 I am going to lie down 976 00:34:04,042 --> 00:34:05,652 and play dead and you're going to ring 977 00:34:05,782 --> 00:34:06,957 that doorbell and ask for help. 978 00:34:07,088 --> 00:34:08,611 Okay. Fine, fine. 979 00:34:08,742 --> 00:34:10,700 What are you doing spending $1,000 on a suit? 980 00:34:10,831 --> 00:34:12,659 I mean, with that kind of money I could've bought, like... 981 00:34:12,789 --> 00:34:15,618 83.3 jackets. Now go! Ring the bell. 982 00:34:15,749 --> 00:34:17,359 Okay. That's very fast math. 983 00:34:17,490 --> 00:34:19,927 [whimpers] 984 00:34:21,189 --> 00:34:22,756 Help! Help! 985 00:34:22,886 --> 00:34:24,714 Call 911! Somebody help! 986 00:34:24,845 --> 00:34:26,803 - Help, help! - I know CPR. 987 00:34:26,934 --> 00:34:27,891 - I can help. - No, no! 988 00:34:28,022 --> 00:34:29,110 Don't, don't! Just go away! 989 00:34:29,241 --> 00:34:30,111 Let her die. 990 00:34:30,242 --> 00:34:31,069 Aah! Aah! 991 00:34:31,199 --> 00:34:33,158 Stop! Go, go, go. Exercise. 992 00:34:34,550 --> 00:34:35,725 Oh, my God. Uh, can we use your phone 993 00:34:35,856 --> 00:34:37,423 or-or your hose? Or, uh, do you have a defibrillator? 994 00:34:37,553 --> 00:34:40,078 [groaning] 995 00:34:42,645 --> 00:34:43,907 Hey! What's going on? 996 00:34:44,038 --> 00:34:45,126 Hi, can I help you? 997 00:34:45,257 --> 00:34:46,954 Piper Harlow. 998 00:34:48,129 --> 00:34:50,827 Aren't you supposed to be in prison? 999 00:34:58,661 --> 00:35:00,141 - We have some questions. - You've got the wrong person. 1000 00:35:00,272 --> 00:35:01,664 Oh, please. We know all about your little prison-swap scam. 1001 00:35:01,795 --> 00:35:03,362 You're a home-hiding hacker, 1002 00:35:03,492 --> 00:35:05,712 and now it's time to pay the piper, Piper. 1003 00:35:05,842 --> 00:35:07,453 You've been waiting to say - that for days, haven't you? - Yes. 1004 00:35:07,583 --> 00:35:09,890 Okay, look, we represent Leo Hart. 1005 00:35:10,020 --> 00:35:12,022 I represent-- I am the lawyer-- 1006 00:35:12,153 --> 00:35:14,155 Leo Hart, whom you have gone to great lengths 1007 00:35:14,286 --> 00:35:15,374 to have declared dead. 1008 00:35:15,504 --> 00:35:17,811 I have no idea what you're talking about. 1009 00:35:17,941 --> 00:35:19,029 Ah, maybe you'd rather talk to the cops 1010 00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:20,335 about skipping out on your sentence? 1011 00:35:22,424 --> 00:35:24,426 Oaky. Okay, look, it wasn't personal. 1012 00:35:24,557 --> 00:35:25,471 I was hired to do it. 1013 00:35:26,776 --> 00:35:27,690 Hired by whom? 1014 00:35:28,691 --> 00:35:29,866 Ethan Zillow. 1015 00:35:29,997 --> 00:35:31,259 What? Seriously? Another person? 1016 00:35:31,390 --> 00:35:33,566 When does this daisy chain of suspects end? 1017 00:35:33,696 --> 00:35:35,916 I met Ethan online, and he... 1018 00:35:36,046 --> 00:35:38,266 he said he wanted Leo wiped off the face of the earth, so I... 1019 00:35:38,397 --> 00:35:40,225 You had him killed for a price. 1020 00:35:40,355 --> 00:35:42,096 Okay, one last thing, or we're turning you into the cops. 1021 00:35:42,227 --> 00:35:44,098 I don't mean magically transforming you 1022 00:35:44,229 --> 00:35:45,404 into the police, I mean... You get it. 1023 00:35:45,534 --> 00:35:47,449 How'd you pull off your little inmate switcheroo? 1024 00:35:50,322 --> 00:35:51,801 There's a crooked corrections deputy 1025 00:35:51,932 --> 00:35:53,107 who handles prison transfers. 1026 00:35:53,238 --> 00:35:56,545 She does this for a price, 1027 00:35:56,676 --> 00:35:58,286 and I paid that other woman to serve my sentence. 1028 00:35:58,417 --> 00:36:01,550 A corrections deputy at the Multnomah County Jail? 1029 00:36:01,681 --> 00:36:03,770 Oh, Todd, let's go find that Effrum Ziblow. 1030 00:36:03,900 --> 00:36:05,554 Wh... Ethan Zillow. 1031 00:36:05,685 --> 00:36:06,773 What are you... 1032 00:36:09,906 --> 00:36:11,125 MARGARET: These are 1033 00:36:11,256 --> 00:36:12,431 all of the Ethan Zillows we could find 1034 00:36:12,561 --> 00:36:13,780 in the state of Oregon. 1035 00:36:13,910 --> 00:36:15,216 According to Piper, 1036 00:36:15,347 --> 00:36:17,871 she was paid by one of these three men to kill you. 1037 00:36:18,001 --> 00:36:19,220 Do any of them look familiar? 1038 00:36:19,351 --> 00:36:20,482 Uh... 1039 00:36:20,613 --> 00:36:21,788 no. 1040 00:36:21,918 --> 00:36:23,659 Does the name Ethan Zillow ring a bell? 1041 00:36:23,790 --> 00:36:25,574 No, but... 1042 00:36:25,705 --> 00:36:28,098 but I used to know someone named Sofie Zillow. 1043 00:36:29,143 --> 00:36:30,057 Sofie. 1044 00:36:30,188 --> 00:36:31,711 And-and who was she to you? 1045 00:36:31,841 --> 00:36:33,278 She was my girlfriend. 1046 00:36:33,408 --> 00:36:36,281 Almost 18 years ago, back when I was still drinking. 1047 00:36:36,411 --> 00:36:39,458 She, uh, put up with me for about two years 1048 00:36:39,588 --> 00:36:41,373 - before she left. - And you haven't stayed in touch? 1049 00:36:41,503 --> 00:36:43,070 No, not at all. 1050 00:36:43,201 --> 00:36:44,637 Do you think she had something to do with this? 1051 00:36:44,767 --> 00:36:46,508 I wasn't gonna show you this, 1052 00:36:46,639 --> 00:36:47,944 because I thought that he was too young to be a suspect, 1053 00:36:48,075 --> 00:36:50,120 but this is 1054 00:36:50,251 --> 00:36:52,427 Ethan Zillow, Sofie's son. 1055 00:36:53,733 --> 00:36:54,473 Son? 1056 00:36:54,603 --> 00:36:55,909 Mm. 1057 00:36:57,650 --> 00:36:58,651 How old is he? 1058 00:36:58,781 --> 00:37:00,392 Sixteen. 1059 00:37:07,921 --> 00:37:09,531 MARGARET: All right, well, good morning. 1060 00:37:09,662 --> 00:37:11,707 I'm Margaret Wright, and, Sofie, 1061 00:37:11,838 --> 00:37:13,970 thank you for agreeing to meet with us on such short notice. 1062 00:37:14,101 --> 00:37:15,842 On the phone, you said 1063 00:37:15,972 --> 00:37:18,497 - felony, jail time. - MARGARET: Mm-hmm. 1064 00:37:18,627 --> 00:37:21,151 Your son Ethan paid $5,000 1065 00:37:21,282 --> 00:37:24,154 from his Venmo account to a computer hacker 1066 00:37:24,285 --> 00:37:27,419 to have my client, Leo, legally declared dead. 1067 00:37:27,549 --> 00:37:30,160 What? H-How would he even know how to do something like that? 1068 00:37:30,291 --> 00:37:32,859 He's 16. This is how you drag me back into your life 1069 00:37:32,989 --> 00:37:35,383 after all this time, and you blame him. 1070 00:37:35,514 --> 00:37:37,342 I just want to know why. 1071 00:37:39,518 --> 00:37:42,695 You always said we were dead to him. 1072 00:37:42,825 --> 00:37:44,697 And that's why he was never around, that he didn't care. 1073 00:37:44,827 --> 00:37:47,569 You have to work two crappy jobs 1074 00:37:47,700 --> 00:37:49,919 and do everything by yourself because of him. 1075 00:37:50,050 --> 00:37:53,575 He treats us like we don't exist, so I... 1076 00:37:53,706 --> 00:37:57,013 I used the money that I saved up, and I... 1077 00:37:57,144 --> 00:37:57,971 MARGARET: And you went online, 1078 00:37:58,101 --> 00:37:59,451 found a hacker who could make it 1079 00:37:59,581 --> 00:38:01,235 so that Leo doesn't exist. 1080 00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:03,542 Why now? 1081 00:38:03,672 --> 00:38:06,196 I'm 16. 1082 00:38:06,327 --> 00:38:08,111 All of my friends are getting their driver's licenses 1083 00:38:08,242 --> 00:38:10,070 and Stuart and Eric 1084 00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:12,159 are rebuilding old cars with their dads, and... 1085 00:38:13,247 --> 00:38:14,901 ...I don't get to do anything. 1086 00:38:15,031 --> 00:38:16,424 [sighs] 1087 00:38:16,555 --> 00:38:17,686 I never even knew about you. 1088 00:38:17,817 --> 00:38:19,471 Yeah, right. 1089 00:38:19,601 --> 00:38:20,515 Mom had always said that... I lied. 1090 00:38:22,169 --> 00:38:23,953 I was trying to protect you. 1091 00:38:25,433 --> 00:38:26,782 I thought it was best if you... LEO: No, your mom 1092 00:38:26,913 --> 00:38:28,349 did the right thing by lying to you. 1093 00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:30,569 I was in no shape to be anyone's dad back then. 1094 00:38:36,749 --> 00:38:38,446 Ethan. 1095 00:38:38,577 --> 00:38:40,622 You're a juvenile. 1096 00:38:40,753 --> 00:38:44,496 And, Leo, if you choose not to press charges, 1097 00:38:44,626 --> 00:38:46,628 then... 1098 00:38:46,759 --> 00:38:48,500 I think we can keep him out of trouble. 1099 00:38:50,328 --> 00:38:52,155 You know, I happen to be a mechanic. 1100 00:38:53,548 --> 00:38:55,420 What kind of cars do you like? 1101 00:39:00,512 --> 00:39:03,341 And with your son Ethan's confession, 1102 00:39:03,471 --> 00:39:05,560 we should have no problem clearing everything up 1103 00:39:05,691 --> 00:39:07,693 in probate court and reversing your death. 1104 00:39:07,823 --> 00:39:10,957 [chuckles] I don't know how I can ever repay you 1105 00:39:11,087 --> 00:39:12,437 for all the things you've done. 1106 00:39:12,567 --> 00:39:13,742 Oh, no need. 1107 00:39:13,873 --> 00:39:15,004 We were happy to do this for you. 1108 00:39:15,135 --> 00:39:16,005 Thank you, Margaret. 1109 00:39:16,136 --> 00:39:18,399 - Of course. - Thank you. 1110 00:39:18,530 --> 00:39:20,183 May... It okay? Yeah? All right.[laughs]: Oh, yeah, okay. 1111 00:39:20,314 --> 00:39:21,489 - Of course. - Oh, thank you. 1112 00:39:21,620 --> 00:39:23,491 [elevator bell dings] 1113 00:39:26,407 --> 00:39:27,843 You brought me back to life. 1114 00:39:27,974 --> 00:39:29,802 [laughing] 1115 00:39:29,932 --> 00:39:32,108 Well... 1116 00:39:32,239 --> 00:39:34,546 I'm having a little God complex. 1117 00:39:35,808 --> 00:39:37,505 Trust the product. 1118 00:39:38,550 --> 00:39:40,029 The clients will come. 1119 00:39:44,469 --> 00:39:46,645 [buzzer sounds][exclaims] 1120 00:39:47,646 --> 00:39:48,603 What did you make me do? 1121 00:39:48,734 --> 00:39:50,039 Uh, not sure what you're referring to. 1122 00:39:50,170 --> 00:39:51,737 - Sorry, could you take a number? - I was 1123 00:39:51,867 --> 00:39:54,566 altered on dentist gas and you took advantage of me. 1124 00:39:54,696 --> 00:39:57,743 Is that what the kids are calling it now-- dentist gas? 1125 00:39:57,873 --> 00:40:00,180 I don't remember anything. What happened? 1126 00:40:00,310 --> 00:40:03,139 Nothing. Nothing. 1127 00:40:03,270 --> 00:40:04,576 Nothing but going on the dark web 1128 00:40:04,706 --> 00:40:07,056 and lying to some people and signing some papers. 1129 00:40:07,187 --> 00:40:08,493 - What papers? - It's nothing, 1130 00:40:08,623 --> 00:40:10,277 you just signed over lead detective to me 1131 00:40:10,408 --> 00:40:11,887 and cosigned a car loan 1132 00:40:12,018 --> 00:40:14,412 and made me your legal guardian, but it's nothing. 1133 00:40:24,726 --> 00:40:26,815 You know, this is gonna sound crazy, 1134 00:40:26,946 --> 00:40:28,164 but I was thinking about Piper 1135 00:40:28,295 --> 00:40:30,340 and her little inmate switcheroo, 1136 00:40:30,471 --> 00:40:33,605 and I looked into it. 1137 00:40:33,735 --> 00:40:35,476 And you know who was in the same jail 1138 00:40:35,607 --> 00:40:37,609 and transferred to the same 1139 00:40:37,739 --> 00:40:39,959 prison and processed by the same corrections deputy? 1140 00:40:40,089 --> 00:40:41,134 Who? 1141 00:40:41,264 --> 00:40:42,352 Veronica. 1142 00:40:43,789 --> 00:40:44,877 You don't think... 1143 00:40:45,007 --> 00:40:46,400 [elevator bell dings] Oh, hi. 1144 00:40:46,531 --> 00:40:48,184 I'm actually going down. The elevator just 1145 00:40:48,315 --> 00:40:50,883 randomly took me to that empty floor upstairs. 1146 00:40:55,365 --> 00:40:57,585 So, how are things progressing with Rory McIntosh? 1147 00:40:57,716 --> 00:40:59,413 He's signing with us. 1148 00:40:59,544 --> 00:41:01,894 - Oh. - I am on my way to meet Peter to celebrate. 1149 00:41:02,024 --> 00:41:03,548 - Hey, that's great. - Congratulations. 1150 00:41:03,678 --> 00:41:05,419 - Thank you. - Yeah. 1151 00:41:05,550 --> 00:41:06,638 Rory said he almost went with Granger Zisk, 1152 00:41:06,768 --> 00:41:07,769 but he loved 1153 00:41:07,900 --> 00:41:09,075 Todd's idea of 1154 00:41:09,205 --> 00:41:11,207 the Taste Of Scotland gift basket I sent. 1155 00:41:11,338 --> 00:41:14,384 He said the personal touch really convinced him that 1156 00:41:14,515 --> 00:41:16,038 I would go the extra mile for a client. 1157 00:41:16,169 --> 00:41:17,083 Hey, you know, that idea 1158 00:41:17,213 --> 00:41:18,824 was actually brilliant. 1159 00:41:18,954 --> 00:41:20,869 Yeah. 1160 00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:23,306 [Scottish accent]: Yeah, totally brilliant. 1161 00:41:30,531 --> 00:41:33,099 Captioning sponsored by CBS 1162 00:41:33,229 --> 00:41:36,406 and TOYOTA. 1163 00:41:36,537 --> 00:41:40,537 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org