Dear Lord, I know you can hear me.
It's Jade Mary Megan James, the one from Carshalton.
Give us the strength not to become
them stereotypical, weak bitches who live in refuges.
Like the pathetic ones you see on telly, crying with limp, lifeless hair.
Now, you ask the Lord for salvation.
Go on. Ask him for something deep in your heart.
Fucking ask him. He ain't got all day.
Dear Lord, please give me and Iris a council flat in London.
Why are you obsessed with London? It's shit.
That's where we're from.
No, you came here from a great, big country house.
Hypocrite much?
Too right, if a mansion's on offer. But if I'm being thrown to some slum,
it better be in the center of the universe,
- which is London. - Yeah.
Deliver Jesus and hear my prayer for Costello,
whose daughter hates her.
- No, she doesn't. - There's vibes.
No. She hates her new school.
- This place and that fucking noise. - Yes.
Heavenly Father, silence the greedy folk next door,
cast them into the furnace,
burn them alive in their Pashminas, lead them to damnation.
Thanks, God. Bye.
You ask a lot of Him.
I thought Jesus liked women who helped themselves.
Yeah. Jesus loves a hustler.
What you doing for money?
- Wanna earn some cash? - Doing what?
Webcamming and shit.
- Don't really wanna fuck Serena off. - Bitch. It's your funeral.
All right. It's Costello Jones.
I don't owe you any fucking money! But go on, leave a message.
Day 12 in Bedlam for me.
And you'll be pleased to hear I've bounced back somewhat.
And I'm willing to concede there's a ten-percent chance
I'm the full nutty.
So rest assured, I'm giving my time here the full college try.
I think you might even enjoy my little updates.
Like, postcards from a demented island.
And I'm even making friends here.
I met an interesting "thing" called Frida. She helps pass the time.
Do you think you could come and visit?
I feel like you owe me that, at least.
Give Iris a kiss from me.
All right, love...
In all the food banks in all the world, if it isn't Costello Jones.
All right, just...
Hey.
Heard you moved to the country with Selby.
- Yeah, I'm back now, so... - Yeah, probably for the best.
He's a total knob, isn't he?
He's my best friend, and you know nothing about him.
Okay, come on then. Let's get you some food.
Bit presumptuous, aren't we? I'm here to volunteer.
I can do weekday mornings, or...
Okay.
Great.
Well, in that case,
follow me, and I'll show you how food banking's done.
- Okay. - Donations.
This is the packing station. Fresh goods here. Eggs, free-range.
Hello, mate.
And this is absolutely stunning.
We just have the appropriate stocks,
and we're just happening to give away 20.
I mean, what's the one thing
that you've got loads of that you can always use more of?
Right. Black shirts. I must have 40 at home.
I really must. Can you see this? These are actual real silk...
I know what's wrong with you.
I know what's wrong with everyone in here.
I'd be a psychiatrist if they let me out.
Well, given you were elbow deep in your vagina earlier,
you'd make a wonderful psychiatrist.
See him? Schizoid Personality Disorder. I can tell.
And check out the nurse.
Avoidant Personality Disorder.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
I 100% know that 'cause my granddad was the same.
- And what is wrong with you? - Borderline Personality Disorder.
And I've been anorexic since I was eight,
ADHD since I was 11, and complex PTSD since, like, forever.
Gosh. You're quite the collector.
I've been watching you since you got here.
I've got you sussed. Are you ready for my diagnosis?
- If you must. - Antisocial Personality Disorder.
All of your relationships have been violent,
and you've got big daddy issues.
Am I right?
Well, you can be the judge of that when I tell you that I want to grab
your stupid, little head and ram it into that cunting television.
That's it. There's only 20 on sale in this exclusive offer.
So, if you want one,
you shouldn't wait to call the number below.
I've been holding out for a miscarriage but it's still up there.
You've never been very lucky, have you?
Did you ever think about getting rid of Iris?
Never. As soon as I found out, I knew I was gonna take my baby and run.
I ain't as strong as you.
- I can't do this on my own. - I'm not strong.
And I ain't doing it with Paul. No. No choice but to abort.
Well, it sounds like you need to get rid of him, not the kid.
I tried to break up with him, like, three times.
Pity you can't abort 50-year-old men.
I could call him and tell him that you've died.
Selby called me for the first time today and wants me to visit.
- Don't you fucking dare. - I was so relieved.
I thought he hated me. I miss him, G. I just...
I think you'll find that's nostalgia talking.
Look, what you need is a distraction.
Will you have this abortion with me?
I've been waiting years for you to ask that.
If I do it. I mean, I'm probably gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
Maybe.
Bubba, please. What can I do to stop you hating me?
Nothing. You and Selby messed up.
Why should I have to live this crappy life?
Costello! I need a word.
Iris, go upstairs and do your homework.
Oh, just put me up for adoption, why don't you?
- Iris! -"Iris, Iris."
It's a joy to see you at communal prayer each morning.
Yeah. Well, it is mandatory, Serena. I've been a good girl.
- No contact with Selby. - God rewards the good.
No men, no work. I started volunteering at a food bank.
All of this is good, good, good.
Now, I need to talk to you about an organization we work with
who house wayward mothers.
I know it's quick, and you've barely settled in,
but we have found you and Iris your forever home.
- Here? In London? - Let's see.
Two bedrooms, a balcony, by the sea. Thanet!
The Lord giveth.
- Am I fuck moving to Thanet. - And the Lord taketh away.
I've been a good person for 12 days now. And I'm not a good person, Serena.
I've been pretending, and I am exhausted and now I'm being shat on.
- The Lord moves in mysterious ways. - Serena, the Lord is a knob.
And if the Lord thinks that I'm leaving London,
he can go fuck himself.
"Your murderers come with smiles, they come as your friends."
That's... that's not even the Bible. That is Goodfellas.
You're getting your gospels all mixed up. This is just...
- What? So, you're chucking me out now? - No. Why would I do that?
The government give me 600 quid a week to keep you here.
Capitalism!
The real religion of the 21st century.
Hallelujah!
This is gonna be my last shift today.
I need a job that pays. I need to get a private flat.
What about the refuge?
I've got six months there, but the clock is ticking
before they kick me to the council, who will fuck me.
Well, is there anything I can do?
How much money have you got on you right now?
- Fiver. - Now, eat me out.
Is this a...
No... I'm not a...
Listen I support sex workers, but I don't pay for it.
Can I stop you right there before you say something stupid?
The pussy is for free. I just need five pounds.
Is it ethical to lick out a woman who lives in a refuge?
I don't think this pussy is that worried about ethics.
I just need a distraction.
And if you don't want it, then you can fuck off.
This is gonna be the best offer you're gonna get
in any food bank today.
I just can't imagine ever loving you.
Mate, that hurts.
- Is that a reason to call it a day? - Yes.
I think it is.
I've never broken up with someone before.
Normally, when I'm horrible to them, they just leave.
I don't believe you could ever be horrible, G.
I literally just need some space,
and for you not to be in it ever.
Good luck. You're a lovely man, but not for me.
Yeah, thanks.
Listen, do you fancy grabbing a drink sometime?
I think that would be a bit weird, don't you?
Yeah. Yeah. Of course.
- I'll see you soon, Gloria. - No. You probably won't.
Well, take care.
Okay.
Hello.
I think, I'd really love to book in for a termination.
Right. No makeup.
You're not allowed to look good. Stick on the trackie.
What are you doing? Get off.
Making it look like you actually live in a refuge.
Can't be all fancy. It ain't Babestation.
- Authenticity is what they want. - Yeah, well, it's not authentic to me.
Hiya.
We are two horny babes trapped in a battered women's refuge
with no men to satisfy us.
Do you wanna help us out?
You run away from horrible men, did you?
Yeah. Please help us.
We're 100% battered British bitches.
She's new here. Fresh from being abused.
Tell him.
Yeah. It's true.
Been abused all my life by men and women.
You got any bruises?
You have no idea.
But if you could just click the donate button,
I'll tell you the whole, sordid story.
Hi, girls.
- Hi. - Hi.
Those, you like?
- Love those. - I thought you would.
Tell me where he hit you.
You've got a face I want to punch.
That makes me want to cry.
I wouldn't have let you out of my sight.
- It's beautiful. - That's so nice.
And a bit scary.
List all of your injuries for me.
- Well, I had my ribs broken. - Yeah. I broke my jaw.
You deserved it, didn't you?
- I'm so sorry. - Well, I'm sorry, too.
I'd hit you with my big dick.
- I can't wait. - Good.
Day 29 in the funny farm.
I miss you.
Why won't you visit me?
She's already forgot you, mate.
They always do.
I suppose you think this is some sort of meet-cute, don't you?
Two nut-nuts in an asylum falling in love.
Well, it just isn't that movie, darling.
And when I say fuck off, I don't mean follow me and love me.
I mean, fuck off.
Fuck off!
Okay?
- Just through here, please. - Thank you.
So, you're sure you want to go through with this?
Because you've had a lot to drink.
Dutch courage.
And why have you tarted yourself up?
I can dress up for my abortion if I like.
I've split up with Paul, and I'm happy about that.
But wait.
I think I want the baby.
- All right. Come on then, let's go. - No, no, no. Sit, sit.
You know what I'm like. I'll fuck it up. I'll just fuck it up.
- It's best to get it over and done with. - Gloria Duke.
Sorry, I have to ask.
But have you consumed alcohol in the last 24 hours?
A couple over lunch.
I'm afraid you can't legally consent
to the procedure under the influence of alcohol.
No. I've made up my mind now. I want an abortion.
- Give it to me. - Come on.
No! Give me my abortion. What's happened to this country?
What? A woman can't have an abortion after a couple of wine?
- Come on. Let's go. - No. Look.
Hey, look at me. Look at me.
Do I look like the kind of woman that should be having a kid?
Look, let's just get you to bed, and we'll talk about it in the morning.
Don't make me go Vera Drake. Don't make me go backstreet.
Come on.
Sorry.
You're arrogant. You're up yourself. You're rude, aggressive.
You just don't seem very vulnerable.
Abused women are usually a lot more...
humble.
So what, you think I'm lying?
Iris! Iris!
Iris!
- Lord! - Iris!
Candi?
Candi! Candi, where are you?
- Mom, what's... - We're okay. We're okay.
Right. You're gonna grab your money and let's go.
This is 'cause of them greedy bastards next door.
All right, bubba. Iris, can you help me?
Right. Everything's fine.
Okay. Good girls.
Okay. All right. Let's go.
Iris, you just stay with mommy, okay?
Get out of his way, yeah? Get out, now. Now.
Keep moving! Keep going!
Mom. Mom.
- Gosh. - Everyone out?
- You okay? - Yeah, I guess.
Are you all right?
You said, and I quote,
"I want to grab your stupid, little head
and ram it into that cunting television."
I'm a work in progress.
No, I've quit.
Go on, then.
You doing okay?
I miss Iris.
More than anything.
And I just can't wait
to get back to them both and make it all better.
How would you make it all better?
- What would you say to them? - What would I say?
That I have all the right feelings in my heart.
But I just don't know how to love like everyone else.
Because...
no one ever fucking taught me how to do it right.
- But then I sound like an absolute twat. - You're attempting to change.
Most don't have the guts to try that.
Well, I'm a big, brave boy, Doctor.
Oi, Pashmina! Why are you crying?
This is your fault. Your house is fine, ours is fucked.
I mean, you barely even live here. You live in Oxfordshire.
You take more and more
without thinking about people who get less and less.
We lived here!
It was just a shitty little room, and it wasn't forever, but it was ours.
You are lucky that someone didn't die!
My daughter could've died, you posh cunts!
- That's right. - That's right.
Thank you.
I'll sort this. Okay? I promise. I'm sorry, bubba.
Selby, you've got a visitor.
- Who? - Some woman.
She got a little girl with her. She's so cute.
- Visitors? - Not today.
That was a horrible thing to do.
- We're not coming. - The Lord pours scorn on the ungrateful.
There's refuge for you in Skegness. Now, get in.
- No. We live here. - Yeah. We live here, too.
Here, ladies, get off.
Costello's staging a protest about social cleansing.
No. I'm... I'm not. I'm...
We're just not leaving.
But you should go and get a little flat, you know, by the sea.
And get your mom and your sister to come and stay at weekends.
You won't be on your own.
I bet there's a God in Skegness, as well.
Right. Come on, get on.
- Should've got on. - No. This is our home.
Sure doesn't feel like it.
Just a couple of city rats, hey?
- You all right? - Ain't I always?
So, to abort or not to abort, that is the question.
Not to abort.
The Loneliness of the Unwed Single Mother,
name of your memoir.
You can stay at mine until you get a place sorted
- with the council. - Thank you.
- Thanks. - You're welcome. Come on, babes.
Could you take Iris out for dinner?
Sure.
The practice can come in handy.
I just need to clear my head, I think.
Babe. No, I get it. I get it.
Okay.
Day 30 at the looney bin.
Stop all the clocks. Cut off the telephone.
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone.
Saccharine wank! Don't worry. I haven't gone the full mental.
It's still a terrible poem,
and Four Weddings is still a fucking awful film!
What was it you said, Costello? "The world is a vile place."
"And neither Richard Curtis nor W.H. Auden will ever change that."
I hope to see you soon.
And I hope you and Iris are okay.
I let you down and I'm sorry.
And right now, I can't reach you and it's fucking terrifying.