1 00:00:06,074 --> 00:00:08,494 - (DRILL RUMBLING IN DISTANCE) - Dear Lord, I know you can hear me. 2 00:00:08,494 --> 00:00:11,997 It's Jade Mary Megan James, the one from Carshalton. 3 00:00:13,040 --> 00:00:14,500 Give us the strength not to become 4 00:00:14,500 --> 00:00:17,878 them stereotypical, weak bitches who live in refuges. 5 00:00:17,878 --> 00:00:19,797 Like the pathetic ones you see on telly, 6 00:00:19,797 --> 00:00:22,257 crying with limp, lifeless hair. 7 00:00:22,257 --> 00:00:24,009 (CHUCKLES) 8 00:00:24,009 --> 00:00:26,720 Now, you ask the Lord for salvation. 9 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:28,096 Go on. Ask him for something deep 10 00:00:28,096 --> 00:00:31,016 - in your heart. - COSTELLO JONES: (SIGHS) Um. 11 00:00:31,016 --> 00:00:33,268 Fucking ask him. He ain't got all day. 12 00:00:33,894 --> 00:00:36,063 (GROANS) Um. 13 00:00:37,689 --> 00:00:40,818 Dear Lord, please give me and Iris, 14 00:00:40,818 --> 00:00:43,904 uh, a council flat in London. 15 00:00:43,904 --> 00:00:46,490 Why are you obsessed with London? It's shit. 16 00:00:46,490 --> 00:00:47,699 That's where we're from. 17 00:00:47,699 --> 00:00:49,785 No, you came here from a great, big country house. 18 00:00:49,785 --> 00:00:51,078 Hypocrite much? 19 00:00:51,078 --> 00:00:53,497 Too right, if a mansion's on offer. 20 00:00:53,497 --> 00:00:56,250 But if I'm being thrown to some slum, 21 00:00:56,250 --> 00:00:58,001 it better be in the center of the universe, 22 00:00:58,001 --> 00:00:59,878 - which is London. - Yeah. 23 00:00:59,878 --> 00:01:02,589 Deliver Jesus and hear my prayer for Costello, 24 00:01:02,589 --> 00:01:04,424 whose daughter hates her. 25 00:01:04,424 --> 00:01:07,177 - (CHUCKLES) No, she doesn't. - There's vibes. 26 00:01:07,177 --> 00:01:09,179 No. She hates her new school. 27 00:01:09,179 --> 00:01:11,723 - This place and that fucking noise. - JADE MARY MEGAN JAMES: Yes. 28 00:01:11,723 --> 00:01:15,018 Heavenly Father, silence the greedy folk next door, 29 00:01:15,018 --> 00:01:16,353 cast them into the furnace, 30 00:01:16,353 --> 00:01:18,605 - burn them alive in their Pashminas... - (COSTELLO CHUCKLES) 31 00:01:18,605 --> 00:01:21,525 ...lead them to damnation. Thanks, God. Bye. 32 00:01:23,485 --> 00:01:25,153 You ask a lot of Him. 33 00:01:26,363 --> 00:01:29,408 I thought Jesus liked women who helped themselves. 34 00:01:29,408 --> 00:01:32,244 Oh, yeah. Jesus loves a hustler. 35 00:01:34,663 --> 00:01:38,625 What you doing for money? Wanna earn some cash? 36 00:01:38,625 --> 00:01:40,711 - Doing what? - Webcamming and shit. 37 00:01:40,711 --> 00:01:43,755 Hmm, don't really wanna fuck Serena off. 38 00:01:43,755 --> 00:01:46,258 Bitch. It's your funeral. 39 00:01:46,258 --> 00:01:52,890 - ♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - (LINE TRILLING) 40 00:01:57,477 --> 00:01:59,730 COSTELLO: (OVER VOICEMAIL) All right. It's Costello Jones. 41 00:01:59,730 --> 00:02:01,148 I don't owe you any fucking money! 42 00:02:01,148 --> 00:02:04,067 - But go on, leave a message. - (VOICEMAIL BEEPS) 43 00:02:04,067 --> 00:02:08,280 Day 12 in Bedlam for me. (CLEARS THROAT) 44 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:12,159 And you'll be pleased to hear I've bounced back somewhat. 45 00:02:12,159 --> 00:02:14,244 And I'm willing to concede there's a ten-percent chance 46 00:02:14,244 --> 00:02:15,787 - I'm the full nutty. - ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ 47 00:02:15,787 --> 00:02:19,416 So rest assured, I'm giving my time here 48 00:02:19,416 --> 00:02:22,961 - the full college try. - (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 49 00:02:22,961 --> 00:02:27,049 FLORIAN SELBY: I think you might even enjoy my little updates. 50 00:02:27,049 --> 00:02:30,052 Like, postcards from a demented island. 51 00:02:31,845 --> 00:02:34,056 And I'm even making friends here. 52 00:02:34,056 --> 00:02:38,310 I met an interesting "thing" called Frida. 53 00:02:38,310 --> 00:02:40,437 She helps pass the time. 54 00:02:44,024 --> 00:02:45,734 Do you think you could come and visit? 55 00:02:48,070 --> 00:02:50,864 - I feel like you owe me that, at least. - (EXHALES) 56 00:02:53,033 --> 00:02:56,161 - (GLASS SQUEAKING) - Give Iris a kiss from me. 57 00:02:56,161 --> 00:02:57,829 - (SCOFFS) - (RECEIVER CLATTERS) 58 00:02:57,829 --> 00:02:59,247 (COINS CLINKING) 59 00:03:02,751 --> 00:03:04,169 CUSTOMER: (FAINTLY) All right, love... 60 00:03:05,379 --> 00:03:08,131 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 61 00:03:08,131 --> 00:03:11,677 RICHARD: In all the food banks in all the world, 62 00:03:12,511 --> 00:03:14,221 if it isn't Costello Jones. 63 00:03:16,014 --> 00:03:17,307 All right, just... 64 00:03:19,059 --> 00:03:21,103 - Hey. - (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) 65 00:03:32,906 --> 00:03:34,783 Heard you moved to the country with Selby. 66 00:03:34,783 --> 00:03:37,995 - Yeah, I'm back now, so... - Yeah, probably for the best. 67 00:03:37,995 --> 00:03:39,705 He's a total knob, isn't he? 68 00:03:39,705 --> 00:03:43,500 He's my best friend, and you know nothing about him. 69 00:03:43,500 --> 00:03:46,753 (CHUCKLES) Okay, come on then. Let's get you some food. 70 00:03:50,257 --> 00:03:51,508 (GRUNTS) 71 00:03:51,508 --> 00:03:55,262 Bit presumptuous, aren't we? I'm here to volunteer. 72 00:03:57,889 --> 00:04:00,350 I can do weekday mornings, or... 73 00:04:00,350 --> 00:04:01,601 (RICHARD CHUCKLES) 74 00:04:02,853 --> 00:04:04,354 - Oh! (CHUCKLES) - Mm-hmm. 75 00:04:04,354 --> 00:04:08,025 Okay, uh... Great. (CHUCKLES) 76 00:04:08,025 --> 00:04:10,444 Well, um, in that case, uh, 77 00:04:10,444 --> 00:04:13,405 follow me, and I'll show you how food banking's done. 78 00:04:13,405 --> 00:04:14,906 - Okay. - (IN FRENCH ACCENT) Donations. 79 00:04:14,906 --> 00:04:16,575 - Mm-hmm. - (IN NORMAL VOICE) Um. 80 00:04:16,575 --> 00:04:19,119 This is the packing station. Fresh goods here. 81 00:04:19,119 --> 00:04:22,539 Eggs, free-range. (CHUCKLES) Hello, mate. 82 00:04:22,539 --> 00:04:24,541 And this is absolutely stunning. 83 00:04:24,541 --> 00:04:26,543 - PATIENT: Whoa! - We just have the appropriate stocks, 84 00:04:26,543 --> 00:04:29,421 and we're just happening to give away 20. 85 00:04:29,421 --> 00:04:32,924 I mean, what's the one thing that you've got loads of 86 00:04:32,924 --> 00:04:37,137 that you can always use more of? Right. Black shirts. 87 00:04:37,137 --> 00:04:40,057 Uh... I must have 40 at home. (CHUCKLES) 88 00:04:40,057 --> 00:04:43,393 I really must. Uh, can you see this? 89 00:04:43,393 --> 00:04:45,562 These are actual real silk... 90 00:04:45,562 --> 00:04:50,400 - I know what's wrong with you. - (BUZZER HUMMING) 91 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,069 I know what's wrong with everyone in here. 92 00:04:52,069 --> 00:04:54,279 I'd be a psychiatrist if they let me out. 93 00:04:55,864 --> 00:04:59,576 Well, given you were elbow deep in your vagina earlier, 94 00:04:59,576 --> 00:05:01,369 you'd make a wonderful psychiatrist. 95 00:05:02,037 --> 00:05:03,330 FRIDA: See him? 96 00:05:03,330 --> 00:05:07,250 Schizoid Personality Disorder. I can tell. 97 00:05:08,543 --> 00:05:09,878 And check out the nurse. 98 00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:15,592 - Avoidant Personality Disorder. - (TELEPHONE RINGING) 99 00:05:15,592 --> 00:05:18,303 (SHOPPING CHANNEL PRESENTER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) 100 00:05:23,892 --> 00:05:25,936 Narcissistic Personality Disorder. 101 00:05:26,561 --> 00:05:27,646 I 100-percent know that 102 00:05:27,646 --> 00:05:29,106 'cause my granddad was the same. 103 00:05:29,106 --> 00:05:30,607 And what is wrong with you? 104 00:05:30,607 --> 00:05:33,110 Borderline Personality Disorder. 105 00:05:33,110 --> 00:05:36,905 And I've been anorexic since I was eight, 106 00:05:36,905 --> 00:05:40,367 ADHD since I was 11, and complex PTSD 107 00:05:40,367 --> 00:05:42,536 since, like, forever. 108 00:05:43,995 --> 00:05:45,288 Gosh. 109 00:05:45,288 --> 00:05:47,374 - You're quite the collector. - (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 110 00:05:51,711 --> 00:05:53,547 I've been watching you since you got here. 111 00:05:54,589 --> 00:05:56,133 I've got you sussed. 112 00:05:56,133 --> 00:05:58,093 Are you ready for my diagnosis? 113 00:05:59,928 --> 00:06:00,971 If you must. 114 00:06:00,971 --> 00:06:02,806 Antisocial Personality Disorder. 115 00:06:02,806 --> 00:06:05,308 All of your relationships have been violent, 116 00:06:05,308 --> 00:06:07,477 and you've got big daddy issues. 117 00:06:07,477 --> 00:06:09,563 - (THUD ON TABLE) - Am I right? 118 00:06:10,689 --> 00:06:12,357 Well, you can be the judge of that 119 00:06:12,357 --> 00:06:14,151 when I tell you that I want to grab 120 00:06:14,151 --> 00:06:15,861 your stupid, little head 121 00:06:15,861 --> 00:06:18,947 and ram it into that cunting television. 122 00:06:21,867 --> 00:06:25,620 That's it. There's only 20 on sale in this exclusive offer. 123 00:06:25,620 --> 00:06:26,997 So, if you want one, 124 00:06:26,997 --> 00:06:29,374 you shouldn't wait to call the number below. 125 00:06:34,087 --> 00:06:35,797 I've been holding out for a miscarriage 126 00:06:35,797 --> 00:06:38,008 but it's still up there. 127 00:06:38,008 --> 00:06:40,927 You've never been very lucky, have you? 128 00:06:40,927 --> 00:06:42,846 Did you ever think about getting rid of Iris? 129 00:06:42,846 --> 00:06:45,182 Never. As soon as I found out, 130 00:06:45,182 --> 00:06:47,601 I knew I was gonna take my baby and run. 131 00:06:47,601 --> 00:06:49,019 I ain't as strong as you. 132 00:06:49,019 --> 00:06:51,396 - I can't do this on my own. - I'm not strong. 133 00:06:51,396 --> 00:06:54,941 And I ain't doing it with Paul. No. No choice but to abort. 134 00:06:54,941 --> 00:06:58,111 Well, it sounds like you need to get rid of him, not the kid. 135 00:06:58,111 --> 00:07:01,364 I tried to break up with him, like, three times. (CHUCKLES) 136 00:07:01,364 --> 00:07:03,909 COSTELLO: Pity you can't abort 50-year-old men. 137 00:07:03,909 --> 00:07:08,288 I could call him and tell him that you've died. 138 00:07:09,873 --> 00:07:12,459 (BOTH LAUGH) 139 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:17,672 Selby called me for the first time today 140 00:07:17,672 --> 00:07:18,757 and wants me to visit. 141 00:07:18,757 --> 00:07:20,884 - Don't you fucking dare. - I was so relieved. 142 00:07:20,884 --> 00:07:23,678 I thought he hated me. I miss him, G. I just-- 143 00:07:23,678 --> 00:07:25,722 GLORIA DUKE: I think you'll find that's nostalgia talking. 144 00:07:25,722 --> 00:07:28,516 Look, what you need is a distraction. 145 00:07:30,185 --> 00:07:33,104 Will you have this abortion with me? 146 00:07:33,772 --> 00:07:35,065 (SIGHS) 147 00:07:35,065 --> 00:07:37,359 I've been waiting years for you to ask me. 148 00:07:37,359 --> 00:07:41,738 (CHUCKLES) If I do it. I mean, I'm probably gonna do it. 149 00:07:42,906 --> 00:07:44,199 I'm gonna do it. 150 00:07:50,497 --> 00:07:52,290 - Maybe. - ♪ (SOFT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 151 00:07:52,290 --> 00:07:53,416 COSTELLO: Bubba, please. 152 00:07:53,416 --> 00:07:55,502 What can I do to stop you hating me? 153 00:07:58,046 --> 00:08:00,924 Nothing. You and Selby messed up. 154 00:08:00,924 --> 00:08:02,926 Why should I have to live this crappy life? 155 00:08:02,926 --> 00:08:04,052 (DOOR OPENS) 156 00:08:05,220 --> 00:08:07,555 Costello! I need a word. 157 00:08:07,555 --> 00:08:11,393 Iris, go upstairs and do your homework. 158 00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:16,398 Oh, just put me up for adoption, why don't you? 159 00:08:16,398 --> 00:08:19,192 - (BABY CRYING) - Iris! 160 00:08:19,192 --> 00:08:20,443 (MOCKINGLY) "Iris, Iris." 161 00:08:22,153 --> 00:08:24,322 It's a joy to see you at communal prayer each morning. 162 00:08:24,322 --> 00:08:29,536 Yeah. Well, it is mandatory, Serena. I've been a good girl. 163 00:08:29,536 --> 00:08:31,121 No contact with Selby. 164 00:08:31,121 --> 00:08:32,414 God rewards the good. 165 00:08:33,248 --> 00:08:34,374 COSTELLO: No men, no work. 166 00:08:34,374 --> 00:08:36,334 I started volunteering at a food bank. 167 00:08:36,334 --> 00:08:38,253 All of this is good, good, good. 168 00:08:38,253 --> 00:08:41,298 Now, I need to talk to you about an organization we work with 169 00:08:41,298 --> 00:08:42,841 who house wayward mothers. 170 00:08:42,841 --> 00:08:45,176 I know it's quick, and you've barely settled in, 171 00:08:45,176 --> 00:08:48,972 but we have found you and Iris your forever home. 172 00:08:48,972 --> 00:08:51,599 - Here? In London? - Uh, let's see. 173 00:08:51,599 --> 00:08:54,477 Two bedrooms, a balcony, by the sea. Thanet! 174 00:08:54,477 --> 00:08:55,979 Oh! The Lord giveth. 175 00:08:56,855 --> 00:08:58,732 Am I fuck moving to Thanet. 176 00:08:58,732 --> 00:08:59,983 And the Lord taketh away. 177 00:08:59,983 --> 00:09:02,444 I've been a good person for 12 days now. 178 00:09:02,444 --> 00:09:04,654 And I'm not a good person, Serena. 179 00:09:04,654 --> 00:09:07,574 I've been pretending, and I am exhausted, 180 00:09:07,574 --> 00:09:09,117 and now I'm being shat on. 181 00:09:09,117 --> 00:09:10,660 The Lord moves in mysterious ways. 182 00:09:10,660 --> 00:09:12,370 Serena, the Lord is a knob. 183 00:09:12,370 --> 00:09:15,540 And if the Lord thinks that I'm leaving London, 184 00:09:15,540 --> 00:09:18,752 - he can go fuck himself. - (CHUCKLES SARCASTICALLY) 185 00:09:18,752 --> 00:09:20,420 "Your murderers come with smiles. 186 00:09:20,420 --> 00:09:21,713 They come as your friends." 187 00:09:21,713 --> 00:09:25,717 That's-- That's not even the Bible. That is Goodfellas. 188 00:09:25,717 --> 00:09:29,095 You're getting your gospels all mixed up. This is just... 189 00:09:29,095 --> 00:09:31,222 (SCOFFS) What? So you're chucking me out now? 190 00:09:31,222 --> 00:09:32,682 No. Why would I do that? 191 00:09:32,682 --> 00:09:35,018 The government give me 600 quid a week to keep you here. 192 00:09:35,018 --> 00:09:39,522 (SCOFFS) Ah, capitalism! 193 00:09:39,522 --> 00:09:43,943 The real religion of the 21st century. Hallelujah! 194 00:09:44,986 --> 00:09:48,156 - (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - Hmm. 195 00:09:48,156 --> 00:09:50,283 This is gonna be my last shift today. 196 00:09:50,283 --> 00:09:53,745 I need a job that pays. I need to get a private flat. 197 00:09:53,745 --> 00:09:55,580 - What about the refuge? - (GROANS) 198 00:09:55,580 --> 00:09:57,916 I've got six months there, but the clock is ticking 199 00:09:57,916 --> 00:09:59,542 before they kick me to the council, 200 00:09:59,542 --> 00:10:00,960 who will fuck me. 201 00:10:01,836 --> 00:10:04,089 Well, is there anything I can do? 202 00:10:04,089 --> 00:10:06,341 How much money have you got on you right now? 203 00:10:07,425 --> 00:10:08,468 Uh. 204 00:10:13,473 --> 00:10:15,975 - Fiver. - Now, eat me out. 205 00:10:18,686 --> 00:10:19,771 Is this a... 206 00:10:21,189 --> 00:10:23,274 Oh. No, I'm not a... 207 00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:26,361 Listen I support sex workers, but I don't pay for it. 208 00:10:26,361 --> 00:10:29,447 Can I stop you right there before you say something stupid? 209 00:10:29,447 --> 00:10:32,992 The pussy is for free. (SOFTLY) I just need five pounds. 210 00:10:34,619 --> 00:10:37,163 Is it ethical to lick out a woman who lives in a refuge? 211 00:10:37,163 --> 00:10:40,917 Uh, I don't think this pussy is that worried about ethics. 212 00:10:40,917 --> 00:10:42,544 I just need a distraction. 213 00:10:42,544 --> 00:10:45,422 And if you don't want it, then you can fuck off. 214 00:10:48,675 --> 00:10:53,054 This is gonna be the best offer you're gonna get 215 00:10:53,054 --> 00:10:55,557 in any foodbank today. 216 00:10:56,558 --> 00:11:00,270 - (BAGS RUSTLING) - (BREATHES HEAVILY) 217 00:11:08,069 --> 00:11:10,947 (RICHARD MOANS) 218 00:11:15,493 --> 00:11:19,622 I just can't imagine ever loving you. 219 00:11:21,499 --> 00:11:22,834 Mate, that hurts. 220 00:11:25,837 --> 00:11:27,589 Is that a reason to call it a day? 221 00:11:27,589 --> 00:11:30,216 Yes. I think it is. 222 00:11:31,801 --> 00:11:33,761 I've never broken up with someone before. 223 00:11:33,761 --> 00:11:36,556 Normally, when I'm horrible to them, they just leave. 224 00:11:36,556 --> 00:11:39,809 I don't believe you could ever be horrible, G. 225 00:11:39,809 --> 00:11:43,646 Uh. I literally just need some space, 226 00:11:43,646 --> 00:11:48,943 and for you not to be in it ever. (EXHALES DEEPLY) 227 00:11:54,073 --> 00:11:55,241 Good luck. 228 00:11:55,241 --> 00:11:57,535 You're a lovely man, but not for me. 229 00:11:57,535 --> 00:11:58,995 Yeah, thanks. 230 00:12:03,124 --> 00:12:05,001 Listen, do you fancy grabbing a drink sometime? 231 00:12:05,001 --> 00:12:07,420 I think that would be a bit weird, don't you? 232 00:12:07,420 --> 00:12:09,255 Yeah. Oh, yeah. Of course. 233 00:12:11,591 --> 00:12:16,262 - I'll see you soon, Gloria. - No. You probably won't. 234 00:12:17,931 --> 00:12:19,182 Well, take care. 235 00:12:20,850 --> 00:12:23,353 - (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - (CAR HORN BLARING IN DISTANCE) 236 00:12:23,937 --> 00:12:24,979 (DOOR CLOSES) 237 00:12:27,565 --> 00:12:29,359 (SIGHS) 238 00:12:31,069 --> 00:12:33,488 - Okay. - (TELEPHONE LINE RINGING) 239 00:12:33,488 --> 00:12:35,823 (PEN CAP CLICKS, CLATTERS) 240 00:12:35,823 --> 00:12:41,663 Hello. I think I'd really love to book in for a termination. 241 00:12:42,497 --> 00:12:43,873 - (GROANS) - Right. No makeup. 242 00:12:43,873 --> 00:12:46,501 You're not allowed to look good. Stick on the trackie. 243 00:12:48,336 --> 00:12:49,379 (GROANS) 244 00:12:54,133 --> 00:12:55,885 What are you doing? Get off. 245 00:12:55,885 --> 00:12:59,055 Making it look like you actually live in a refuge. 246 00:12:59,055 --> 00:13:02,934 Mm-hmm? Can't be all fancy. It ain't Babestation. 247 00:13:04,143 --> 00:13:05,770 Authenticity is what they want. 248 00:13:05,770 --> 00:13:08,314 Yeah, well, it's not authentic to me. 249 00:13:10,692 --> 00:13:12,569 Hiya. 250 00:13:12,569 --> 00:13:17,949 We are two horny babes trapped in a battered women's refuge 251 00:13:17,949 --> 00:13:20,577 with no men to satisfy us. (INHALES SHARPLY) 252 00:13:21,494 --> 00:13:22,704 Do you wanna help us out? 253 00:13:22,704 --> 00:13:24,914 You run away from horrible men, did you? 254 00:13:24,914 --> 00:13:27,875 Yeah. Please help us. (INHALES) 255 00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:31,337 We're one hundred percent battered British bitches. 256 00:13:31,337 --> 00:13:32,630 She's new here. 257 00:13:32,630 --> 00:13:37,093 Fresh from being abused. (INHALES) Tell him. 258 00:13:38,177 --> 00:13:41,055 Yeah. It's true. 259 00:13:41,055 --> 00:13:45,935 Been abused all my life by men and women. 260 00:13:47,061 --> 00:13:48,646 VIEWER 1: (OVER COMPUTER) You got any bruises? 261 00:13:48,646 --> 00:13:51,566 - (BOTH SIGH) - You have no idea. 262 00:13:51,983 --> 00:13:53,026 Oh! 263 00:13:54,193 --> 00:13:58,489 But if you could just click, uh, the donate button, 264 00:13:58,489 --> 00:14:03,661 I'll tell you the whole, sordid story. 265 00:14:03,661 --> 00:14:05,705 ♪ (UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 266 00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:11,169 VIEWER 2: (OVER COMPUTER) Hi, girls. 267 00:14:11,169 --> 00:14:12,378 - Hi. - Hi. 268 00:14:13,713 --> 00:14:15,006 - (GASPS) - Those, you like? 269 00:14:15,006 --> 00:14:16,591 - Love those. - I thought you would. 270 00:14:16,591 --> 00:14:18,343 Tell me where he hit you. 271 00:14:24,307 --> 00:14:26,684 Oh. You've got a face I want to punch. 272 00:14:26,684 --> 00:14:28,645 - (GASPS) - Oh, that makes me want to cry. 273 00:14:42,533 --> 00:14:45,411 I wouldn't have let you out of my sight. 274 00:14:45,411 --> 00:14:47,121 - It's beautiful. - That's so nice. 275 00:14:47,121 --> 00:14:48,581 And a bit scary. 276 00:14:48,581 --> 00:14:51,125 VIEWER 3: (OVER COMPUTER) List all of your injuries for me. 277 00:14:51,125 --> 00:14:55,546 - Well, I had my ribs broken. - Yeah. I broke my jaw. 278 00:14:55,546 --> 00:14:58,132 You deserved it, didn't you? 279 00:14:58,132 --> 00:15:01,511 - I'm so sorry. - Well, I'm sorry, too. 280 00:15:01,511 --> 00:15:03,680 I'd hit you with my big dick. 281 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:06,849 - Hmm. I can't wait. - Good. 282 00:15:06,849 --> 00:15:08,476 - ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ - (DOOR OPENS) 283 00:15:13,773 --> 00:15:16,109 - (DOOR CLOSES) - (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 284 00:15:22,407 --> 00:15:25,785 - (EXHALES) - (COIN RATTLING) 285 00:15:27,245 --> 00:15:29,038 (DIALPAD CLACKING) 286 00:15:31,624 --> 00:15:35,503 (CLICKS TONGUE) Day 29 in the funny farm. 287 00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:39,048 I miss you. 288 00:15:40,758 --> 00:15:42,927 Why won't you visit me? 289 00:15:42,927 --> 00:15:47,724 - She's already forgot you, mate. - (COINS CLINKING) 290 00:15:47,724 --> 00:15:50,143 - They always do. - (LINE DROPS) 291 00:15:59,277 --> 00:16:00,445 (RECEIVER CLATTERS) 292 00:16:02,447 --> 00:16:07,410 I suppose you think this is some sort of meet-cute, don't you? 293 00:16:07,410 --> 00:16:11,080 Two nut-nuts in an asylum falling in love. 294 00:16:12,999 --> 00:16:15,251 Well, it just isn't that movie, darling. 295 00:16:17,879 --> 00:16:20,256 And when I say fuck off, 296 00:16:20,256 --> 00:16:24,135 I don't mean follow me and love me. I mean, fuck off. 297 00:16:25,511 --> 00:16:28,097 Fuck off! (SOFTLY) Okay? 298 00:16:32,185 --> 00:16:36,355 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 299 00:16:40,109 --> 00:16:41,444 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 300 00:16:41,444 --> 00:16:44,864 - Just through here, please. - PATIENT: Thank you. 301 00:16:44,864 --> 00:16:47,408 So you're sure you want to go through with this? 302 00:16:48,910 --> 00:16:51,412 Because you've had a lot to drink. 303 00:16:51,412 --> 00:16:53,539 - Dutch courage. - Oh. 304 00:16:54,457 --> 00:16:56,459 And why have you tarted yourself up? 305 00:16:56,459 --> 00:16:59,212 I can dress up for my abortion if I like. 306 00:17:00,588 --> 00:17:02,673 I've split up with Paul, and I'm happy about that. 307 00:17:02,673 --> 00:17:05,092 - COSTELLO: Mm-hmm. - GLORIA: Oh, wait. 308 00:17:05,092 --> 00:17:07,762 I think I want... (WHISPERS) ...the baby. 309 00:17:09,430 --> 00:17:10,807 All right. Come on then, let's go. 310 00:17:10,807 --> 00:17:13,226 No, no, no. 311 00:17:13,226 --> 00:17:15,728 You know what I'm like. I'll fuck it up. I'll just fuck it up. 312 00:17:15,728 --> 00:17:18,731 - (COSTELLO EXHALES) - GLORIA: It's best to get it over and done with. 313 00:17:18,731 --> 00:17:20,483 RECEPTIONIST: Gloria Duke. 314 00:17:27,615 --> 00:17:29,659 Sorry, I have to ask. 315 00:17:29,659 --> 00:17:31,702 But have you consumed alcohol in the last 24 hours? 316 00:17:31,702 --> 00:17:32,870 (GASPS) 317 00:17:35,456 --> 00:17:36,999 A couple over lunch. 318 00:17:36,999 --> 00:17:38,876 I'm afraid you can't legally consent 319 00:17:38,876 --> 00:17:41,295 to the procedure under the influence of alcohol. 320 00:17:41,295 --> 00:17:44,632 No. I've made up my mind now. I want an abortion. 321 00:17:44,632 --> 00:17:46,551 - Give it to me. - Come on. 322 00:17:46,551 --> 00:17:48,719 No! Give me my abortion. 323 00:17:48,719 --> 00:17:50,388 What's happened to this country? What? 324 00:17:50,388 --> 00:17:52,515 A woman can't have an abortion after a couple of wine? 325 00:17:52,515 --> 00:17:54,058 - Come on. Let's go. - GLORIA: No. Look. 326 00:17:54,058 --> 00:17:55,560 Hey, look at me. Look at me. 327 00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:59,188 Do I look like the kind of woman that should be having a kid? 328 00:17:59,188 --> 00:18:00,398 - Huh? - Look, 329 00:18:00,398 --> 00:18:01,858 let's just get you to bed, 330 00:18:01,858 --> 00:18:03,317 and we'll talk about it in the morning. 331 00:18:03,317 --> 00:18:07,822 Don't make me go Vera Drake. Don't make me go backstreet. 332 00:18:08,322 --> 00:18:09,365 Come on. 333 00:18:13,327 --> 00:18:14,829 (SOFTLY) Sorry. 334 00:18:14,829 --> 00:18:16,247 - SERENA: You're arrogant. - (DRILL RUMBLING) 335 00:18:16,247 --> 00:18:19,542 SERENA: You're up yourself. You're rude, aggressive. 336 00:18:19,542 --> 00:18:21,252 (DRILL CONTINUES RUMBLING IN DISTANCE) 337 00:18:21,252 --> 00:18:23,129 You just don't seem very vulnerable. 338 00:18:23,796 --> 00:18:24,922 (SCOFFS) 339 00:18:26,215 --> 00:18:31,512 Abused women are usually a lot more... humble. 340 00:18:31,512 --> 00:18:34,682 (CHUCKLES) So what, you think I'm lying? 341 00:18:35,308 --> 00:18:37,226 (RUMBLING INTENSIFIES) 342 00:18:37,226 --> 00:18:39,103 (MACHINERY CRASHING) 343 00:18:39,103 --> 00:18:42,398 - (INDISTINCT SCREAMING) - COSTELLO: Iris! Iris! 344 00:18:42,398 --> 00:18:45,443 - (INDISTINCT CLAMOR) - COSTELLO: Iris! 345 00:18:45,443 --> 00:18:47,361 (ALARM RINGING) 346 00:18:48,696 --> 00:18:50,573 - Oh, Lord! - Iris! 347 00:18:50,573 --> 00:18:53,117 - JADE: Candi? - (CLAMORING CONTINUES) 348 00:18:53,117 --> 00:18:55,411 JADE: Candi! Candi, where are you? 349 00:18:55,411 --> 00:18:57,079 - (ALARM RINGING) - (SIGHS) 350 00:18:57,079 --> 00:18:59,749 - Mom, what's-- - COSTELLO: We're okay. We're okay. Right. 351 00:18:59,749 --> 00:19:01,334 Right, you're gonna grab your money, and let's go. 352 00:19:01,334 --> 00:19:03,628 JADE: This is 'cause of them greedy bastards next door. 353 00:19:03,628 --> 00:19:05,755 All right, bubba. Iris, can you help me? 354 00:19:07,757 --> 00:19:08,841 Right. 355 00:19:09,425 --> 00:19:10,968 Everything's fine. 356 00:19:12,595 --> 00:19:14,096 Okay. Good girls. 357 00:19:15,222 --> 00:19:18,517 Okay. All right. Let's go. 358 00:19:18,517 --> 00:19:20,436 Iris, you just stay with mommy, okay? 359 00:19:20,436 --> 00:19:23,940 Get out of his way, yeah? Get out, now. Now. 360 00:19:23,940 --> 00:19:25,775 Keep moving! Keep going! 361 00:19:28,319 --> 00:19:30,821 (INDISTINCT CLAMOR) 362 00:19:33,074 --> 00:19:34,784 IRIS: Mom. Mom. 363 00:19:36,744 --> 00:19:40,414 - (SIGHS) Oh, gosh. - SERENA: Is everyone out? 364 00:19:40,414 --> 00:19:43,376 - COSTELLO: You okay? - IRIS: Yeah, I guess. 365 00:19:43,376 --> 00:19:45,127 JADE: Are you all right? 366 00:19:45,127 --> 00:19:47,713 KENNETH: You said, and I quote, 367 00:19:47,713 --> 00:19:50,800 "I want to grab your stupid, little head and ram it 368 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:52,635 into that cunting television." 369 00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:58,516 - (BIRDS CHIRPING) - I'm a work in progress. 370 00:19:59,725 --> 00:20:00,893 No, I've quit. 371 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:05,731 Oh. Go on, then. 372 00:20:09,652 --> 00:20:10,987 You doing okay? 373 00:20:12,029 --> 00:20:13,114 (CLICKS TONGUE) 374 00:20:14,824 --> 00:20:15,992 I miss Iris. 375 00:20:18,244 --> 00:20:19,370 More than anything. 376 00:20:20,830 --> 00:20:23,374 And I just can't wait 377 00:20:23,374 --> 00:20:25,543 to get back to them both and make it all better. 378 00:20:25,543 --> 00:20:27,837 ♪ (MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 379 00:20:27,837 --> 00:20:29,714 KENNETH: How would you make it all better? 380 00:20:35,094 --> 00:20:38,347 - What would you say to them? - What would I say? 381 00:20:42,893 --> 00:20:45,688 That I have all the right feelings in my heart. 382 00:20:49,984 --> 00:20:52,987 But I just don't know how to love like everyone else. 383 00:20:52,987 --> 00:20:54,113 Because... 384 00:20:55,322 --> 00:20:58,701 no one ever fucking taught me how to do it right. 385 00:21:09,795 --> 00:21:12,423 But then I sound like an absolute twat. 386 00:21:12,423 --> 00:21:14,800 KENNETH: You're attempting to change. 387 00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:17,011 Most don't have the guts to try that. 388 00:21:17,011 --> 00:21:19,930 Well, I'm a big, brave boy, Doctor. 389 00:21:23,726 --> 00:21:25,352 (ALARM BEEPING) 390 00:21:25,352 --> 00:21:28,773 - ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ - (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 391 00:21:36,906 --> 00:21:40,201 Oi, Pashmina! Why are you crying? 392 00:21:40,951 --> 00:21:42,369 This is your fault. 393 00:21:42,369 --> 00:21:45,539 Your house is fine, ours is fucked. 394 00:21:46,457 --> 00:21:48,125 I mean, you barely even live here. 395 00:21:48,125 --> 00:21:49,835 You live in Oxfordshire. 396 00:21:52,213 --> 00:21:54,006 You take more and more 397 00:21:54,006 --> 00:21:57,802 without thinking about people who get less and less. 398 00:21:59,929 --> 00:22:01,680 (SOBS) We lived here! 399 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:04,433 It was just a shitty little room, 400 00:22:04,433 --> 00:22:07,603 and it wasn't forever, but it was ours. 401 00:22:09,939 --> 00:22:13,234 You are lucky that someone didn't die! 402 00:22:13,234 --> 00:22:15,861 My daughter could've died, 403 00:22:15,861 --> 00:22:17,947 you posh cunts! 404 00:22:17,947 --> 00:22:20,324 - RESIDENT 1: That's right. - RESIDENT 2: That's right. 405 00:22:20,324 --> 00:22:21,909 ♪ (SOFT GUITAR MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 406 00:22:21,909 --> 00:22:25,121 (SOBS) Thank you. 407 00:22:29,291 --> 00:22:30,668 Thank you. (SNIFFLES) 408 00:22:32,044 --> 00:22:34,922 I'll sort this. Okay? I promise. 409 00:22:35,923 --> 00:22:37,341 I'm sorry, bubba. 410 00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:45,057 - ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ - Selby, you've got a visitor. 411 00:22:46,851 --> 00:22:48,727 - Who? - Some woman. 412 00:22:48,727 --> 00:22:50,521 She got a little girl with her. She's so cute. 413 00:22:50,521 --> 00:22:52,481 ♪ ("WEAR YOUR LOVE LIKE HEAVEN" BY DONOVAN PLAYING) ♪ 414 00:22:52,481 --> 00:22:54,400 ♪ Color in sky, Prussian blue ♪ 415 00:22:54,400 --> 00:23:02,950 - ♪ Wear your love like heaven ♪ - ♪ Wear your love like ♪ 416 00:23:02,950 --> 00:23:06,370 - ♪ Wear your love like heaven ♪ - ♪ Wear your love ♪ 417 00:23:06,370 --> 00:23:07,705 ♪ (SONG CONTINUES OVER SPEAKER) ♪ 418 00:23:07,705 --> 00:23:11,375 ♪ Lord, kiss me once more Fill me with song ♪ 419 00:23:11,375 --> 00:23:14,295 ♪ Allah, kiss me once more That I may, that I may ♪ 420 00:23:14,295 --> 00:23:16,213 - Visitors? - Not today. 421 00:23:16,213 --> 00:23:20,342 - ♪ Wear my love like heaven ♪ - ♪ Wear my love like ♪ 422 00:23:20,342 --> 00:23:23,429 - ♪ Wear my love like heaven... ♪ - ♪ Wear my love... ♪ 423 00:23:23,429 --> 00:23:27,600 - (DOOR OPENS) - (LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY) 424 00:23:31,437 --> 00:23:33,522 (INHALES DEEPLY) 425 00:23:35,941 --> 00:23:37,902 That was a horrible thing to do. 426 00:23:37,902 --> 00:23:41,071 ♪ (DRAMATIC ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 427 00:23:51,540 --> 00:23:52,708 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 428 00:23:52,708 --> 00:23:54,585 ♪ (GOSPEL MUSIC PLAYING OVER RADIO) ♪ 429 00:23:57,129 --> 00:23:58,088 COSTELLO: We're not coming. 430 00:23:58,088 --> 00:24:00,216 The Lord pours scorn on the ungrateful. 431 00:24:00,216 --> 00:24:03,219 There's refuge for you in Skegness. Now, get in. 432 00:24:03,219 --> 00:24:07,932 - (EXHALES) No. We live here. - Yeah. We live here, too. 433 00:24:07,932 --> 00:24:09,558 Here, ladies, get off. 434 00:24:09,558 --> 00:24:12,353 Costello's staging a protest about social cleansing. 435 00:24:12,353 --> 00:24:15,314 COSTELLO: No. I'm-- I'm not. I'm... (EXHALES) 436 00:24:15,314 --> 00:24:17,107 We're just not leaving. 437 00:24:19,151 --> 00:24:21,946 But you should go and get a little flat, 438 00:24:21,946 --> 00:24:23,322 you know, by the sea. 439 00:24:23,322 --> 00:24:26,242 And get your mom and your sister to come and stay at weekends. 440 00:24:26,242 --> 00:24:27,493 You won't be on your own. 441 00:24:31,539 --> 00:24:35,459 - I bet there's a God in Skegness, as well. (CHUCKLES) - (CHUCKLES) 442 00:24:37,503 --> 00:24:39,338 Right. Come on, get on. 443 00:24:40,464 --> 00:24:44,635 - (DOOR SLIDES SHUT) - (THUMPING ON DOOR) 444 00:24:44,635 --> 00:24:49,014 - IRIS: Should've got on. - Mm, no. This is our home. 445 00:24:49,014 --> 00:24:50,808 IRIS: Sure doesn't feel like it. 446 00:24:50,808 --> 00:24:55,104 COSTELLO: Just a couple of city rats, hey? (CHUCKLES) 447 00:25:02,069 --> 00:25:04,863 - You all right? - Ain't I always? 448 00:25:04,863 --> 00:25:08,450 So, to abort or not to abort, that is the question. 449 00:25:10,577 --> 00:25:12,621 Not to abort. 450 00:25:12,621 --> 00:25:16,667 - (BOTH CHUCKLE) - The Loneliness of the Unwed Single Mother, 451 00:25:16,667 --> 00:25:19,169 - name of your memoir. - (LAUGHS) 452 00:25:19,169 --> 00:25:21,005 (SIREN WAILING IN THE DISTANCE) 453 00:25:21,005 --> 00:25:23,173 You can stay at mine until you get a place sorted 454 00:25:23,173 --> 00:25:24,383 - with the council. - Thank you. 455 00:25:24,383 --> 00:25:26,802 - Thanks. - You're welcome. Come on, babes. 456 00:25:33,392 --> 00:25:34,435 (CAR DOOR OPENS) 457 00:25:38,272 --> 00:25:40,107 (DOOR CLOSES) 458 00:25:40,107 --> 00:25:44,111 Could you, um... (SNIFFLES) ...take Iris out for dinner? 459 00:25:44,111 --> 00:25:47,364 GLORIA: Sure. The practice can come in handy. 460 00:25:48,657 --> 00:25:52,244 I just need to... clear my head, I think. 461 00:25:53,454 --> 00:25:56,040 Oh, babe. No, I get it. I get it. 462 00:25:58,375 --> 00:25:59,460 Okay. 463 00:26:09,345 --> 00:26:10,387 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) 464 00:26:15,434 --> 00:26:19,730 (DOORS CREAKING) 465 00:26:21,023 --> 00:26:22,566 (DOOR CLOSES, LOCKS) 466 00:26:23,525 --> 00:26:29,031 (SIGHS, BREATHES DEEPLY) 467 00:26:33,369 --> 00:26:34,453 (EXHALES SOFTLY) 468 00:26:43,003 --> 00:26:44,797 ♪ (MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 469 00:26:51,387 --> 00:26:53,472 (SIRENS WAILING DISTANTLY) 470 00:26:53,472 --> 00:26:55,140 (SNIFFS) 471 00:26:55,140 --> 00:26:56,850 (CELLPHONE BEEPS, CHIMES) 472 00:27:09,363 --> 00:27:10,656 (LINE TRILLING) 473 00:27:11,698 --> 00:27:12,783 (VOICEMAIL BEEPS) 474 00:27:12,783 --> 00:27:16,286 SELBY: (OVER VOICEMAIL) Day 30 at the looney bin. 475 00:27:16,286 --> 00:27:19,289 Stop all the clocks. Cut off the telephone. 476 00:27:19,289 --> 00:27:24,211 Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone. (LAUGHS) 477 00:27:25,045 --> 00:27:27,131 Saccharine wank! 478 00:27:27,131 --> 00:27:29,800 Don't worry. I haven't gone the full mental. 479 00:27:30,676 --> 00:27:32,094 It's still a terrible poem, 480 00:27:32,094 --> 00:27:35,639 - and Four Weddings is still a fucking awful film! - (CHUCKLES) 481 00:27:35,639 --> 00:27:38,100 SELBY: (OVER VOICEMAIL) What was it you said, Costello? 482 00:27:38,100 --> 00:27:40,769 "The world is a vile place. 483 00:27:40,769 --> 00:27:42,312 And neither Richard Curtis 484 00:27:42,312 --> 00:27:44,982 nor W.H. Orton will ever change that." 485 00:27:44,982 --> 00:27:46,775 (CHUCKLES SADLY) 486 00:27:46,775 --> 00:27:48,944 SELBY: I hope to see you soon. 487 00:27:50,863 --> 00:27:52,865 And I hope you and Iris are okay. 488 00:27:55,909 --> 00:27:58,662 I let you down, and I'm sorry. 489 00:28:01,373 --> 00:28:03,000 And right now, I can't reach you, 490 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,169 and it's fucking terrifying. 491 00:28:27,483 --> 00:28:31,278 ♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪ 492 00:28:55,928 --> 00:28:58,972 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪