1 00:00:08,368 --> 00:00:11,163 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 2 00:00:18,670 --> 00:00:20,506 - Sold my book. - Oh. 3 00:00:20,506 --> 00:00:22,800 Discovered on a Bloomsbury slush pile 4 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,219 by some dickhead called Barnaby. 5 00:00:25,219 --> 00:00:28,806 - Barnabys are the worst. - Mm. He's my new editor. 6 00:00:28,806 --> 00:00:31,975 Got in touch after that pashmina video went viral. 7 00:00:31,975 --> 00:00:34,812 I believe Salinger was discovered the same way. 8 00:00:36,688 --> 00:00:39,191 COSTELLO JONES: All I did was shout at some posh bitch. 9 00:00:39,191 --> 00:00:41,735 - (CHUCKLES) - COSTELLO: Now everyone thinks 10 00:00:41,735 --> 00:00:44,530 I'm the Joan of Arc of the council estate. 11 00:00:44,530 --> 00:00:47,825 - You deserve this... - Hmm. Still potless. 12 00:00:48,826 --> 00:00:51,203 Council are sending us to Somerset. 13 00:00:51,203 --> 00:00:53,914 - Tell 'em to fuck off. - COSTELLO: Yeah, I did. 14 00:00:53,914 --> 00:00:55,791 They can't force you out. 15 00:00:58,335 --> 00:00:59,378 If I don't take it, 16 00:00:59,378 --> 00:01:01,463 then we're intentionally homeless. 17 00:01:03,090 --> 00:01:05,092 Oh, Lenny, I am gonna miss you, 18 00:01:05,092 --> 00:01:06,927 my favorite pervert. 19 00:01:09,179 --> 00:01:12,182 But we'll be back next spring when the book's out. 20 00:01:15,102 --> 00:01:17,271 I bet you can't believe it's really happening. 21 00:01:20,774 --> 00:01:24,152 Ugh! Been burned by posh pricks before. 22 00:01:24,152 --> 00:01:28,073 I won't believe it's real until it's on sale in Foyles. 23 00:01:31,368 --> 00:01:33,161 And when it is out, 24 00:01:33,161 --> 00:01:35,455 I'm gonna ride the tube day and night 25 00:01:35,455 --> 00:01:37,332 until I find someone who's reading it. 26 00:01:38,500 --> 00:01:40,669 Because that's how you know you've really made it. 27 00:01:43,422 --> 00:01:45,215 And I'm gonna go up to them, 28 00:01:45,215 --> 00:01:48,427 pull the book down and say, "I wrote that, I did." 29 00:01:48,427 --> 00:01:50,888 They are going to think that you're mad. 30 00:01:50,888 --> 00:01:52,764 Be a great fucking day. 31 00:01:52,764 --> 00:01:55,350 Back in the city because of my book. 32 00:01:59,438 --> 00:02:01,648 You know, Barnaby reckons it's gonna be big. 33 00:02:01,648 --> 00:02:03,567 - Bigger than Dickens? - COSTELLO: Yeah. 34 00:02:03,567 --> 00:02:05,986 Basically Oliver Twist, but with big tits. 35 00:02:12,784 --> 00:02:13,911 You're a real artist. 36 00:02:16,663 --> 00:02:20,667 All you can ask for in life is one moment of perfection. 37 00:02:22,419 --> 00:02:26,048 Because it-- it doesn't last. It's not meant to. 38 00:02:27,549 --> 00:02:28,634 Remember that. 39 00:02:31,011 --> 00:02:32,179 - Mom. - Hmm? 40 00:02:32,179 --> 00:02:34,223 - Lenny, go. Run, run, run. - ♪ (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 41 00:02:34,223 --> 00:02:35,807 Just like real life, you get what you want 42 00:02:35,807 --> 00:02:38,435 - then someone comes to ruin it. - SECURITY GUARD: Hey, excuse me? 43 00:02:38,435 --> 00:02:42,606 Who the hell do you think you are? Hey! Excuse me? 44 00:02:44,524 --> 00:02:46,318 ♪ (JAZZ MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 45 00:02:47,069 --> 00:02:51,156 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 46 00:02:52,199 --> 00:02:53,617 So you got my letter then. 47 00:03:04,670 --> 00:03:05,879 (SIGHS) 48 00:03:07,089 --> 00:03:09,967 (IN MANDARIN) 49 00:03:09,967 --> 00:03:12,552 (IN ENGLISH) Mm, Broadband's slow. 50 00:03:12,552 --> 00:03:14,012 Food's microwaved. 51 00:03:14,012 --> 00:03:16,223 And the only other homosexual has had a cold sore 52 00:03:16,223 --> 00:03:18,850 for the last two weeks, so it's not ideal. 53 00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:20,268 FEN: (IN ENGLISH) Here's your shit. 54 00:03:21,395 --> 00:03:22,437 You look good. 55 00:03:23,438 --> 00:03:27,109 (IN MANDARIN) 56 00:03:28,568 --> 00:03:30,237 (IN ENGLISH) Still got a way to go. 57 00:03:38,161 --> 00:03:40,372 FLORIAN SELBY: "Fiscus Publishing signs new novel 58 00:03:40,372 --> 00:03:43,041 from authentic, working class, 59 00:03:43,041 --> 00:03:45,836 - single mom." - (FEN CHUCKLES) 60 00:03:46,628 --> 00:03:47,796 She'll hate that. 61 00:03:53,135 --> 00:03:54,594 Well, she no longer needs me then. 62 00:03:56,263 --> 00:03:58,724 Won't be long before the money's rolling in. 63 00:04:03,395 --> 00:04:05,689 Come on then, you ever fucked in an asylum? 64 00:04:05,689 --> 00:04:08,608 ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 65 00:04:11,361 --> 00:04:12,404 (COSTELLO SIGHS) 66 00:04:12,404 --> 00:04:14,448 They've sent us straight to hell. 67 00:04:14,448 --> 00:04:16,074 GLORIA: Be grateful you got a place. 68 00:04:16,074 --> 00:04:18,076 Where are all the people? 69 00:04:18,076 --> 00:04:19,703 It's in the middle of nowhere. 70 00:04:19,703 --> 00:04:22,080 Lots of people come out to the countryside 71 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:23,749 - to finish their book. - Yeah. 72 00:04:23,749 --> 00:04:27,169 Rich ones, retreating to daddy's holiday cottage. 73 00:04:27,169 --> 00:04:29,171 - (LAUGHS MOCKINGLY) - It's pretty peaceful, though. 74 00:04:29,838 --> 00:04:32,924 It means we can be wild. 75 00:04:32,924 --> 00:04:34,468 - Whoo! - COSTELLO: All right. 76 00:04:34,468 --> 00:04:36,595 - All right. - GLORIA: Whoo! 77 00:04:36,595 --> 00:04:39,723 - Oh. (CHUCKLES) Stop it. - (CHUCKLES) 78 00:04:39,723 --> 00:04:43,935 (GROANS) I don't wanna live in peace. 79 00:04:43,935 --> 00:04:45,854 I want to shout at people who don't know 80 00:04:45,854 --> 00:04:47,606 how to use escalators correctly. 81 00:04:47,606 --> 00:04:49,149 Watch this bend, watch this bend. 82 00:04:49,149 --> 00:04:51,318 COSTELLO: Okay, stop it. I don't wanna die here, 83 00:04:51,318 --> 00:04:52,736 I wanna die in the city. 84 00:04:52,736 --> 00:04:54,613 One more, just to upset Mom. You ready? 85 00:04:54,613 --> 00:04:57,616 - Don't stop, Auntie G. - GLORIA: Whoo! 86 00:04:57,616 --> 00:04:59,451 - No, God! It's the police! - GLORIA: What? What? 87 00:04:59,451 --> 00:05:01,161 - Brilliant. Oh, great. - (POLICE SIREN WAILING) 88 00:05:01,161 --> 00:05:03,663 COSTELLO: Are they following us? Yeah, they're following us. 89 00:05:03,663 --> 00:05:07,125 - IRIS JONES: Oh, it'll be-- It will be fine. - Fantastic. Well done. 90 00:05:07,125 --> 00:05:09,795 - OFFICER: You're over the limit. - (GLORIA GROANS) 91 00:05:09,795 --> 00:05:11,546 - How many have you had? - Only a couple last night. 92 00:05:11,546 --> 00:05:13,965 - Oh, fuck! - (INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER POLICE RADIO) 93 00:05:13,965 --> 00:05:16,093 - Am I being arrested? - Mm-hmm. 94 00:05:16,093 --> 00:05:17,552 - Oh! - Where are you taking her? 95 00:05:17,552 --> 00:05:19,429 - OFFICER: Minehead. - I'm sorry. 96 00:05:19,429 --> 00:05:21,098 No! What the fuck is wrong with you? 97 00:05:21,098 --> 00:05:23,600 Yeah, all right, calm down or I'll arrest you too. 98 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:27,145 - (CHUCKLES) Sorry, what for? - Public nuisance. 99 00:05:29,189 --> 00:05:32,317 There is no public. Where the fuck is the public? 100 00:05:32,317 --> 00:05:34,486 We're in the middle of fucking nowhere! 101 00:05:35,487 --> 00:05:36,571 Last warning. 102 00:05:39,407 --> 00:05:43,578 - Will Auntie G be all right? - She'll always be all right. 103 00:05:43,578 --> 00:05:45,622 She's got a family to bail her out. 104 00:05:48,375 --> 00:05:51,294 I promise you, I will write us out of here. 105 00:05:53,255 --> 00:05:56,341 First hardcover, then paperback... 106 00:05:57,467 --> 00:06:00,303 Audible, Sunday Times bestseller, 107 00:06:00,887 --> 00:06:02,597 Man Booker, 108 00:06:02,597 --> 00:06:04,432 and then Richard and Judy's Book Club. 109 00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:06,393 (CHUCKLES) 110 00:06:06,393 --> 00:06:09,020 Then I'll sell the TV rights to the highest bidder. 111 00:06:10,021 --> 00:06:11,148 I'll write the adaptation 112 00:06:11,148 --> 00:06:12,774 because that's where the real money is. 113 00:06:12,774 --> 00:06:16,153 - We'll be all right. - Yeah, but can we live... 114 00:06:16,153 --> 00:06:19,698 in a place with high ceilings in Belsize Park? 115 00:06:21,199 --> 00:06:24,202 - Yeah, sure. - (HOOVES CLACKING) 116 00:06:27,622 --> 00:06:29,833 - What the hell? - (HORSES NEIGHING) 117 00:06:29,833 --> 00:06:31,042 Oh, God. 118 00:06:35,338 --> 00:06:36,506 And it's back... 119 00:06:38,341 --> 00:06:40,343 thanks to you. (SIGHS) 120 00:06:40,343 --> 00:06:43,597 Glad to hear. Though, can't take all the credit. 121 00:06:44,389 --> 00:06:46,183 Costello no longer needs me... 122 00:06:48,268 --> 00:06:51,146 which made me feel worthless... 123 00:06:53,607 --> 00:06:55,775 so I fucked Fen. 124 00:06:55,775 --> 00:07:00,030 Did you know, Kenneth, I had my first buggering... 125 00:07:01,114 --> 00:07:04,659 and my first heartbreak on the same day? 126 00:07:06,077 --> 00:07:08,788 We had fagging at boarding school. 127 00:07:08,788 --> 00:07:13,084 It's where a young boy acts as a servant 128 00:07:13,084 --> 00:07:14,920 - for one of the older boys. - (EXHALES SHARPLY) 129 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:17,255 Sounds totally normal. 130 00:07:17,255 --> 00:07:18,548 I mean, I enjoyed it. 131 00:07:20,217 --> 00:07:23,303 Bed hopping in dorms, mutual masturbation. 132 00:07:24,596 --> 00:07:26,139 Meaningless, functional. 133 00:07:27,807 --> 00:07:29,309 I mean, all powerful men do it. 134 00:07:29,309 --> 00:07:32,646 - Do you honestly believe that? - Yes, Kenneth, I do. 135 00:07:32,646 --> 00:07:34,147 You take a dry cock in your asshole, 136 00:07:34,147 --> 00:07:36,608 you can definitely take a grilling from Andrew Neil. 137 00:07:36,608 --> 00:07:38,276 (INHALES DEEPLY) What was his name? 138 00:07:39,361 --> 00:07:41,154 The boy who took your virginity. 139 00:07:41,154 --> 00:07:44,449 Oliver. Straightened out now, of course. 140 00:07:44,449 --> 00:07:46,993 Married, kids, member of parliament. 141 00:07:46,993 --> 00:07:48,495 How did he break your heart? 142 00:07:49,371 --> 00:07:51,081 Oh, no. He didn't break anything. 143 00:07:51,081 --> 00:07:54,960 But, um, ten minutes after we'd finished, 144 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:57,587 my Housemaster requested a chat. 145 00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:00,548 (SIGHS) 146 00:08:03,051 --> 00:08:04,261 My father had made 147 00:08:04,261 --> 00:08:06,763 yet another attempt on his life. 148 00:08:12,852 --> 00:08:14,729 And this time, he'd succeeded. 149 00:08:22,195 --> 00:08:24,114 And that was both... 150 00:08:25,991 --> 00:08:30,245 the horniest and the saddest day of my life. 151 00:08:35,417 --> 00:08:37,127 (INHALES) Do you want to play a game? 152 00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:40,672 Good. Need to teach you the rules first. 153 00:08:41,965 --> 00:08:44,092 FERRYMAN: Uber won't touch the place. 154 00:08:45,010 --> 00:08:47,679 No Deliveroo, no Ocado, not even Aldi. 155 00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:51,057 None of them can handle Sunset Park. 156 00:08:51,057 --> 00:08:53,310 Thank you so much for this, this is so kind. 157 00:08:53,310 --> 00:08:55,353 Yeah, well, it's a pound each for the ride. 158 00:08:55,353 --> 00:08:57,814 Fifteen to deliver the junk to your door. 159 00:08:57,814 --> 00:09:01,818 Okay. Um. (SCOFFS) Can I pay you later? 160 00:09:01,818 --> 00:09:04,029 Are you working? 161 00:09:04,029 --> 00:09:05,780 I got an interview with a debt collector 162 00:09:05,780 --> 00:09:06,948 on the estate. 163 00:09:06,948 --> 00:09:09,701 Go on, then. I'll risk it. In you get. 164 00:09:11,703 --> 00:09:14,080 You're going to enjoy Sunset Park. 165 00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:16,750 Only pedo-free estate in the country. 166 00:09:16,750 --> 00:09:17,876 What's a pedo? 167 00:09:19,002 --> 00:09:20,587 FERRYMAN: You'd know if you met one. 168 00:09:21,171 --> 00:09:22,047 Right! 169 00:09:22,047 --> 00:09:23,298 - What's a pedo? - Don't ask. 170 00:09:23,298 --> 00:09:24,841 - FERRYMAN: Off into the sunset. - Okay. 171 00:09:24,841 --> 00:09:27,260 (HORSES NEIGH) 172 00:09:31,181 --> 00:09:34,017 Four players. North, south, east, west. That's it. 173 00:09:34,017 --> 00:09:37,187 I just think you and Costello seem unlikely friends. 174 00:09:37,187 --> 00:09:40,607 And then we build the wall. 175 00:09:40,607 --> 00:09:42,942 That depends on your view of the world, doesn't it? 176 00:09:42,942 --> 00:09:44,903 I tend to think you meet a better class of person 177 00:09:44,903 --> 00:09:46,363 in the gutter than in the drawing room. 178 00:09:46,363 --> 00:09:49,783 Why is that? Does it make you feel powerful? 179 00:09:51,034 --> 00:09:52,077 No. 180 00:09:52,077 --> 00:09:54,913 You have money, you can leave any time. 181 00:09:54,913 --> 00:09:57,290 Costello can't, Iris can't. 182 00:09:57,290 --> 00:09:59,084 How many times have you left Iris now? 183 00:09:59,084 --> 00:10:03,421 I didn't choose to leave. I love Iris. 184 00:10:03,421 --> 00:10:05,423 Yet you sabotage your relationship with her 185 00:10:05,423 --> 00:10:09,469 before she has a chance to reject you. It's what you do. 186 00:10:10,553 --> 00:10:14,265 (GROANS) 187 00:10:14,265 --> 00:10:16,393 - (GRUNTS) - You're wrong. You're wrong. 188 00:10:16,393 --> 00:10:17,852 You know nothing about me. 189 00:10:19,604 --> 00:10:22,148 I know you're a privileged little shit. 190 00:10:22,148 --> 00:10:24,818 Oh, God! All I wanna do now is kiss you. 191 00:10:24,818 --> 00:10:26,569 Knock that shit off! 192 00:10:26,569 --> 00:10:27,779 Have I broken you, Kenneth? 193 00:10:28,446 --> 00:10:30,407 Not even close. 194 00:10:30,407 --> 00:10:32,617 Your game has rules, and so does mine. 195 00:10:32,617 --> 00:10:34,702 You don't do that in here. 196 00:10:36,413 --> 00:10:37,789 (SIGHS) 197 00:10:37,789 --> 00:10:43,878 Yes. (PANTS) 198 00:10:46,506 --> 00:10:48,550 Well, I didn't smash your face in. That's... 199 00:10:50,176 --> 00:10:52,470 I mean, that's gotta be growth. 200 00:10:54,681 --> 00:10:55,849 Do you want me to leave? 201 00:10:57,142 --> 00:10:58,768 Sit the fuck down. 202 00:11:00,603 --> 00:11:01,855 We haven't even started yet. 203 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:11,948 ♪ (MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 204 00:11:14,576 --> 00:11:18,455 FERRYMAN: Here we are, ladies. Sunset Park. 205 00:11:19,372 --> 00:11:21,166 And you're welcome to it. 206 00:11:29,048 --> 00:11:30,467 ♪ (MELLOW MUSIC FADES) ♪ 207 00:11:31,468 --> 00:11:32,844 FERRYMAN: Whoa! 208 00:11:36,264 --> 00:11:39,225 (SIGHS) Right, this is you up yonder. 209 00:11:40,602 --> 00:11:42,103 Last woman there died. 210 00:11:42,937 --> 00:11:44,481 - Brilliant. - (CART DOOR OPENING) 211 00:11:45,231 --> 00:11:46,649 (GROANS) 212 00:11:46,649 --> 00:11:48,776 Are you all land-lined up, then? 213 00:11:49,736 --> 00:11:51,446 Place is a dead zone. 214 00:11:51,446 --> 00:11:56,910 - No TV signal. You're off-grid. - Check your mobile. No signal. 215 00:11:57,535 --> 00:11:58,870 Fucking hell. 216 00:12:04,292 --> 00:12:08,338 GREY: Hey, kiddo. More newbies. Show them 107. 217 00:12:11,090 --> 00:12:13,635 My name's Tennessee. Welcome to hell. 218 00:12:13,635 --> 00:12:16,387 - It ain't so bad. - Hi, I'm Iris. 219 00:12:21,518 --> 00:12:22,602 (DOOR CLOSES) 220 00:12:36,491 --> 00:12:37,534 (EXHALES) 221 00:12:42,455 --> 00:12:45,500 - It's all right, isn't it? - Mm-hmm. 222 00:12:47,794 --> 00:12:50,088 SIMON: Sit yourself down. Get comfy. 223 00:12:50,088 --> 00:12:53,132 So, why do you want to be a debt collector then? 224 00:12:53,132 --> 00:12:56,219 - Honestly? Desperate. - (SIMON CHUCKLES) 225 00:12:56,219 --> 00:12:57,762 You've come to the right place. 226 00:12:58,805 --> 00:13:01,724 What about, um, other hustles? 227 00:13:01,724 --> 00:13:05,395 Most people these days, you know, got hustles. 228 00:13:05,395 --> 00:13:08,022 - In between hustles. - All right. 229 00:13:08,022 --> 00:13:10,942 Well, I googled you. Nothing pervy. 230 00:13:10,942 --> 00:13:13,152 Saw your working-class hero speech. 231 00:13:13,152 --> 00:13:15,697 I thought of I was watching a fucking Ken Loach film. 232 00:13:15,697 --> 00:13:16,990 What about, um... 233 00:13:18,616 --> 00:13:20,159 this Battered Bitches thing? 234 00:13:20,159 --> 00:13:24,247 (INHALES) Yeah, that hasn't, um, aged well. 235 00:13:24,247 --> 00:13:28,126 Internet says you're a bit of a dick, darling. 236 00:13:30,003 --> 00:13:31,212 Are you bit of a dick? 237 00:13:32,297 --> 00:13:34,090 Yeah. Sometimes. 238 00:13:34,090 --> 00:13:36,217 "Sometimes." That's honest. 239 00:13:36,217 --> 00:13:38,261 Got a criminal record? 240 00:13:38,261 --> 00:13:41,306 - Couple of cautions. - What? Theft, drugs? 241 00:13:41,306 --> 00:13:43,433 Assault, criminal damage. 242 00:13:43,433 --> 00:13:45,602 Could come in handy around here. 243 00:13:45,602 --> 00:13:49,647 Hmm. You look strong. Like a big tree. 244 00:13:49,647 --> 00:13:53,610 You're trouble, but I like it, so start tomorrow. 245 00:13:53,610 --> 00:13:56,487 - I've got the job? - Oh, yeah. There's your clobber. 246 00:13:56,487 --> 00:13:57,864 COSTELLO: All right, thanks. 247 00:14:00,033 --> 00:14:02,869 - So, is this your mom's salon? - I'll see you tomorrow then, yeah? 248 00:14:02,869 --> 00:14:04,329 - Nine o'clock. - Oh. 249 00:14:04,329 --> 00:14:09,917 ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 250 00:14:10,585 --> 00:14:12,086 IRIS: Hello. 251 00:14:12,086 --> 00:14:14,964 TENNESSEE: One hundred and four, that's me and my nana. 252 00:14:16,758 --> 00:14:18,259 One hundred and eight is Ferryman. 253 00:14:22,555 --> 00:14:24,098 Spice Boy lives there. 254 00:14:24,098 --> 00:14:26,976 And Tony the murderer, he lives there. 255 00:14:28,436 --> 00:14:30,480 Oh, don't worry. He's never killed no one. 256 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:33,483 He's just a plumber and a terrific karaoke singer. 257 00:14:33,483 --> 00:14:35,360 I'm making a film about him. 258 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:37,445 (SIGHS) You're a weirdo, Tennessee, 259 00:14:37,445 --> 00:14:39,447 but luckily, I like weirdos a lot. 260 00:14:39,947 --> 00:14:42,200 Aye, thanks. 261 00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:46,329 And apparently, Larry David lives in number 98, 262 00:14:46,329 --> 00:14:47,789 but I don't think it's him. 263 00:14:47,789 --> 00:14:50,917 I just think it's a bald man who shouts at people. 264 00:14:50,917 --> 00:14:55,588 - Who's Larry David? - Absolute lunatic. Google him. 265 00:14:57,590 --> 00:14:59,133 SIMON: You got a fellow then? 266 00:14:59,133 --> 00:15:01,302 (SCOFFS) Inappropriate. 267 00:15:01,302 --> 00:15:04,305 Not really, I was just sayin'. I'll take you out some time. 268 00:15:04,305 --> 00:15:07,016 What makes you think I'd go out with you? 269 00:15:07,016 --> 00:15:09,310 You got a mirror in your house? 270 00:15:09,310 --> 00:15:12,146 Yeah. Got three actually, darling. 271 00:15:12,146 --> 00:15:14,065 One of them, lovely antique. 272 00:15:14,065 --> 00:15:16,984 Ah, well you might wanna take a look in it sometime. 273 00:15:17,944 --> 00:15:19,696 Pretty sure I'm a few rungs above you 274 00:15:19,696 --> 00:15:21,906 on the fuck ladder, mate. 275 00:15:21,906 --> 00:15:24,283 You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take. 276 00:15:24,909 --> 00:15:26,786 I had to take mine. 277 00:15:26,786 --> 00:15:29,122 See, you gotta do something every day that scares you. 278 00:15:30,164 --> 00:15:31,541 Today, it was asking you out. 279 00:15:31,541 --> 00:15:34,001 Tomorrow I'm booked in at jujitsu. 280 00:15:36,045 --> 00:15:37,880 It's important to keep your mind busy, 281 00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:40,216 when everyday you've gotta look the worst of humanity 282 00:15:40,216 --> 00:15:41,467 in the eye. 283 00:15:42,969 --> 00:15:44,721 - Yes? - You got the money or what? 284 00:15:44,721 --> 00:15:46,472 I told you, I-- I have nothing. 285 00:15:46,472 --> 00:15:48,516 I can't even-- even top-up the meter. 286 00:15:50,268 --> 00:15:52,311 Yeah, well, you can't hide away forever. 287 00:15:52,311 --> 00:15:54,063 The more time I spend coming back here, 288 00:15:54,063 --> 00:15:55,356 the worse it's gonna get for you. 289 00:15:55,356 --> 00:15:57,066 So get it sorted. 290 00:15:57,066 --> 00:15:58,735 All right, you can do the next one. 291 00:16:08,786 --> 00:16:11,414 Oh, I can't do this, Simon. 292 00:16:11,414 --> 00:16:12,707 Eh? 293 00:16:12,707 --> 00:16:14,292 (SIGHS) It ain't for me. 294 00:16:14,292 --> 00:16:15,793 I thought you were desperate. 295 00:16:15,793 --> 00:16:17,879 Look, if it's not you knocking on her door, 296 00:16:17,879 --> 00:16:19,756 it'll be someone else knocking on yours. 297 00:16:21,132 --> 00:16:22,925 Yeah, well, they're not knocking today. 298 00:16:27,138 --> 00:16:29,390 (SIGHS) Don't worry, love, 299 00:16:29,390 --> 00:16:31,726 I'm not a debt collector anymore. 300 00:16:34,395 --> 00:16:35,480 If you need leccy, 301 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:38,274 we can pop to the Londis and I can top you up, yeah? 302 00:16:38,274 --> 00:16:40,777 And I'll just wait here. 303 00:16:43,905 --> 00:16:47,909 (VAN ENGINE REVS) 304 00:16:47,909 --> 00:16:51,454 GREY: Big spender. Cornettos are cheaper. 305 00:16:51,454 --> 00:16:53,998 Don't do Cornettos no more. 306 00:16:53,998 --> 00:16:57,919 About to be a published author, I only eat fucking Magnums now. 307 00:16:59,837 --> 00:17:01,088 What's the book about? 308 00:17:02,298 --> 00:17:03,382 Four webcammers, 309 00:17:03,382 --> 00:17:05,802 living in a battered woman's refuge, 310 00:17:05,802 --> 00:17:08,096 undertake a jewelry heist. 311 00:17:08,096 --> 00:17:10,640 Guess what it's called? Diamond Beavers. 312 00:17:12,016 --> 00:17:13,643 Autobiographical? 313 00:17:13,643 --> 00:17:16,395 No. Who do you think I am, Grey? 314 00:17:16,395 --> 00:17:19,816 All sorts around here. So, it's fictional? 315 00:17:19,816 --> 00:17:24,111 Yeah, I'm a satirist. Just because I'm not posh, 316 00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:26,531 everybody takes what I say literally. 317 00:17:26,531 --> 00:17:29,992 No, but some of it is true, we did live in a refuge. 318 00:17:30,910 --> 00:17:32,036 According to the internet, 319 00:17:32,036 --> 00:17:34,872 women like me must only speak the truth. 320 00:17:34,872 --> 00:17:38,042 The internet's not a real place, is it? 321 00:17:38,042 --> 00:17:39,544 COSTELLO: Feels real. 322 00:17:39,544 --> 00:17:41,879 For cunts and cry babies. 323 00:17:43,965 --> 00:17:47,301 Now tell me it's not worth paying a bit extra 324 00:17:47,301 --> 00:17:48,553 for your ice cream. 325 00:17:49,428 --> 00:17:50,429 (CHUCKLES) 326 00:17:52,181 --> 00:17:54,058 GREY: I remember my first weeks out here. 327 00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:57,311 Lonely, eh? 328 00:17:57,311 --> 00:17:59,981 Feels like I'm living on the moon. 329 00:17:59,981 --> 00:18:01,983 Well, you're welcome 'round ours. 330 00:18:03,860 --> 00:18:05,278 Can I use your internet? 331 00:18:06,571 --> 00:18:09,532 I've got to send some new chapters to my editor. 332 00:18:10,324 --> 00:18:13,369 - Uh-huh. - COSTELLO: Thank you. 333 00:18:13,369 --> 00:18:15,746 IRIS: Oh, so you've forgiven her now, have you? 334 00:18:15,746 --> 00:18:18,165 COSTELLO: Yeah. I miss her. Don't you? 335 00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:21,252 - IRIS: Yeah. Can I talk to her? - COSTELLO: Yeah. 336 00:18:21,252 --> 00:18:23,004 - (BABY CRYING) - (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 337 00:18:23,004 --> 00:18:27,550 - (CELLPHONE RINGS) - COSTELLO: Gloria? It's me. 338 00:18:27,550 --> 00:18:30,511 (SIGHS) I thought you were Sky. 339 00:18:30,511 --> 00:18:33,222 - He's still calling you? - Miss you, Auntie G. 340 00:18:33,222 --> 00:18:36,142 Oh, Iris. I miss you, baby. 341 00:18:36,142 --> 00:18:38,686 - Are you pissed off at me? - No. Not anymore. 342 00:18:38,686 --> 00:18:41,147 Dad's basically got me on house arrest. 343 00:18:41,147 --> 00:18:43,399 How's you? And the baby? 344 00:18:43,399 --> 00:18:45,860 GLORIA: I wasn't trying to harm it, you know? 345 00:18:45,860 --> 00:18:49,655 I was just so scared. Still am. 346 00:18:49,655 --> 00:18:52,658 Anyway, I've had a scan. She's good. 347 00:18:52,658 --> 00:18:56,037 - Wait, she's good? - (CHUCKLES) 348 00:18:56,037 --> 00:18:58,581 - It's a girl. - Call her Iris. (CHUCKLES) 349 00:18:58,581 --> 00:18:59,790 I don't know what to call her, 350 00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:01,751 but I'll see what her face suits, innit? 351 00:19:01,751 --> 00:19:02,919 What's it like up there? 352 00:19:02,919 --> 00:19:05,630 Hmm. Reckon I can get some good stories 353 00:19:05,630 --> 00:19:08,007 - out of this place. - Can I talk to her? 354 00:19:08,591 --> 00:19:11,886 Wait. Come visit. 355 00:19:11,886 --> 00:19:13,554 I can't drive, can I? 356 00:19:15,681 --> 00:19:17,642 - You okay? - Mm-hmm. 357 00:19:17,642 --> 00:19:20,227 GLORIA: Your pashmina video keeps coming up on my feed. 358 00:19:20,227 --> 00:19:21,479 It's huge. 359 00:19:21,479 --> 00:19:24,398 I can't believe someone posted the Battered Bitches video. 360 00:19:25,566 --> 00:19:26,776 Don't read the comments. 361 00:19:26,776 --> 00:19:29,654 Bunch of masturbators and bedroom activists. 362 00:19:29,654 --> 00:19:32,240 Those mental bitches, they're on a witch hunt. 363 00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:33,491 You need to deal with them 364 00:19:33,491 --> 00:19:35,785 like you did Stacey Backshaw in the London Dungeon. 365 00:19:35,785 --> 00:19:36,994 I'd love to. 366 00:19:36,994 --> 00:19:40,498 - Can I talk to her now? - Iris wants to talk to you. 367 00:19:40,498 --> 00:19:41,707 (IRIS CLEARS THROAT) 368 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,710 Okay, G. So... 369 00:19:44,710 --> 00:19:47,630 will I be its aunt or its cousin? 370 00:19:47,630 --> 00:19:53,135 And can I babysit? Oh, and everybody here is a freak. 371 00:19:53,135 --> 00:19:54,720 GLORIA: Perfect for you then. 372 00:19:55,846 --> 00:19:59,558 ♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 373 00:20:11,487 --> 00:20:13,990 - (KNOCKING ON DOOR) - TENNESSEE: Come in. 374 00:20:15,825 --> 00:20:18,911 - Hey. - ♪ (SOMBER MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 375 00:20:20,329 --> 00:20:23,207 - My nana's at bingo. - IRIS: Wow. 376 00:20:23,207 --> 00:20:26,669 (SIGHS) She used to work in a place called The Video Shop. 377 00:20:26,669 --> 00:20:28,629 You go in, choose a film, 378 00:20:28,629 --> 00:20:31,549 borrow it for one night only and then take it back. 379 00:20:32,633 --> 00:20:35,803 Crazy. What, so you couldn't keep it? 380 00:20:35,803 --> 00:20:39,015 TENNESSEE: Yeah, people were savages in the '90s. 381 00:20:41,809 --> 00:20:44,353 IRIS: So is this one of those videos playing now? 382 00:20:44,353 --> 00:20:46,355 TENNESSEE: Uh-huh. It's by my favorite director, 383 00:20:46,355 --> 00:20:50,568 Dario Argento. The maestro of blood and boobs. 384 00:20:50,568 --> 00:20:52,445 - IRIS: Can we watch it? - TENNESSEE: Yeah. 385 00:20:52,445 --> 00:20:55,448 If you're into the hellish side of life, you'll love it. 386 00:20:58,200 --> 00:20:59,410 (SIGHS) 387 00:21:01,162 --> 00:21:05,374 You write shit about me online, but I tell stories, 388 00:21:05,374 --> 00:21:07,460 so here's a fucking story for you. 389 00:21:08,085 --> 00:21:09,920 Uh-- It's 1999, 390 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:12,548 everybody thinks the world's about to end. 391 00:21:12,548 --> 00:21:14,884 Bruce Willis is busy seeing dead people, 392 00:21:14,884 --> 00:21:17,344 and I'm 13, yet to be kissed. 393 00:21:17,344 --> 00:21:18,804 - Gross. - I'm a freak. 394 00:21:18,804 --> 00:21:21,265 Well, that's what Stacey Backshaw calls me. 395 00:21:21,265 --> 00:21:23,976 She also calls me Fatty Fishy Fanny. 396 00:21:23,976 --> 00:21:27,354 She was in my year. That sort of girl that peaks at 15. 397 00:21:27,354 --> 00:21:30,399 So anyway, I'm on the 176 bus, 398 00:21:30,399 --> 00:21:32,401 heading towards Tottenham Court Road. 399 00:21:32,401 --> 00:21:36,781 And Stacey is sat next to me, and she says... 400 00:21:38,074 --> 00:21:40,159 "Marty Castle thinks you're proper fit." 401 00:21:41,243 --> 00:21:42,536 And then she says, 402 00:21:42,536 --> 00:21:44,455 "He wants to meet you after school. 403 00:21:44,455 --> 00:21:47,291 Outside the Imperial War Museum, 404 00:21:47,291 --> 00:21:49,293 and he wants to kiss you by the big guns." 405 00:21:49,293 --> 00:21:52,755 Now this kid, Marty, I mean he was proper fit, like-- 406 00:21:52,755 --> 00:21:55,257 like the David Beckham of Walworth Road. 407 00:21:55,257 --> 00:21:59,345 So anyway, cut to me, standing by the big guns, 408 00:21:59,345 --> 00:22:02,723 and Marty Castle's face is close to mine. 409 00:22:03,516 --> 00:22:06,018 And as he moves in for a kiss, 410 00:22:06,018 --> 00:22:11,649 he shouts and says, "I don't kiss big pigs." 411 00:22:18,364 --> 00:22:22,993 And I turn around, and, um, Stacey, 412 00:22:22,993 --> 00:22:28,207 and the rest of the 176 bus are laughing at me. 413 00:22:29,250 --> 00:22:31,168 And I feel like a fucking fool. 414 00:22:33,671 --> 00:22:36,966 That's what you lot are. Stacey Backshaws. 415 00:22:36,966 --> 00:22:39,510 And you know what? I took care of her. 416 00:22:39,510 --> 00:22:42,138 I, uh, actually beat the shit out of her 417 00:22:42,138 --> 00:22:43,305 at London Dungeons. 418 00:22:43,305 --> 00:22:45,599 (WHISPERS) Oh, my God. She's doing a Britney. 419 00:22:45,599 --> 00:22:47,768 And I'm gonna say this, uh, because I can, 420 00:22:47,768 --> 00:22:49,812 because I did live in a woman's refuge. 421 00:22:49,812 --> 00:22:52,857 Uh, a lot of you bitches need a proper beating. 422 00:22:52,857 --> 00:22:54,483 And I would love to dish that out. 423 00:22:54,483 --> 00:22:57,278 (WHISPERS) She is doing a Britney. I love her. 424 00:22:57,278 --> 00:23:00,865 Anyway, huns, you do you. I'm gonna carry on writing 425 00:23:00,865 --> 00:23:02,366 and telling my stories. 426 00:23:02,366 --> 00:23:05,911 And just so you know, I see you. Cunts! 427 00:23:15,546 --> 00:23:20,342 (CELLPHONE BUZZING) 428 00:23:20,342 --> 00:23:23,179 Barnaby? Hello? 429 00:23:23,179 --> 00:23:25,639 - BARNABY: Can you hear me? - Yeah. 430 00:23:25,639 --> 00:23:27,266 You're about to fuck me, aren't you? 431 00:23:27,266 --> 00:23:28,934 I know when someone's gonna fuck me, 432 00:23:28,934 --> 00:23:30,144 'cause my mom fucked me 433 00:23:30,144 --> 00:23:31,812 and not just in the Phillip Larkin way. 434 00:23:31,812 --> 00:23:35,357 BARNABY: Look. (SIGHS) We've got a-- a situation. 435 00:23:35,357 --> 00:23:39,570 You're a very talented writer, but my hand's been forced. 436 00:23:39,570 --> 00:23:42,907 We need a voice who represents the working class. 437 00:23:42,907 --> 00:23:45,576 With so much doubt surrounding your authenticity, 438 00:23:45,576 --> 00:23:48,120 there's no way we can publish Diamond Beavers. 439 00:23:48,120 --> 00:23:50,080 Please don't take this away from me. 440 00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:52,541 BARNABY: Costello, you've brought this on yourself. 441 00:23:52,541 --> 00:23:56,045 - I tried to help you. - I've got nothing else. 442 00:23:58,047 --> 00:24:02,218 Is there something I can say for you to stop doing this? 443 00:24:02,218 --> 00:24:04,261 BARNABY: First, you do Battered Bitches, 444 00:24:04,261 --> 00:24:05,471 then you offer to dish out 445 00:24:05,471 --> 00:24:07,348 a beating to those critical of you. 446 00:24:07,348 --> 00:24:08,557 (SIGHS) It's just... 447 00:24:08,557 --> 00:24:12,603 (SIGHS) It's kind of not how authors behave. 448 00:24:12,603 --> 00:24:14,897 I thought you wanted authentic working class, 449 00:24:14,897 --> 00:24:17,024 - I guess not. - BARNABY: I'm sorry. 450 00:24:17,024 --> 00:24:20,778 ♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 451 00:25:58,125 --> 00:26:00,085 - Can I use your landline? - Aye. 452 00:26:05,924 --> 00:26:07,801 ♪ (SOMBER MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 453 00:26:08,469 --> 00:26:09,553 Takes a while. 454 00:26:12,973 --> 00:26:14,224 REPORTER OVER TV: Today, we've come 455 00:26:14,224 --> 00:26:16,852 to one of the Peak District's most popular auctions, 456 00:26:16,852 --> 00:26:19,480 - many bargains to be had. - (CELLPHONE RINGING) 457 00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:22,858 (REPORTER OVER TV SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) 458 00:26:24,777 --> 00:26:26,236 (TV STOPS) 459 00:26:26,236 --> 00:26:28,822 (CELLPHONE RINGING) 460 00:26:30,824 --> 00:26:33,911 - Yes, hello. - (WHISPERS) Selby, it's me. 461 00:26:33,911 --> 00:26:36,705 ♪ ("PRINCE OF TEARS" BY BAXTER DURY PLAYING) ♪ 462 00:26:36,705 --> 00:26:38,916 (WHISPERS) Uh, why you whispering? 463 00:26:38,916 --> 00:26:40,918 (SPEAKS NORMALLY) I don't know. 464 00:26:40,918 --> 00:26:43,379 - (SPEAKS NORMALLY) You okay? - IRIS: Yeah, it's weird here. 465 00:26:43,379 --> 00:26:46,048 I mean, it's all right. Yeah, it's good actually. 466 00:26:47,007 --> 00:26:48,801 Mom's lost the book deal. 467 00:26:48,801 --> 00:26:51,220 She's drinking, she's talking to the internet. 468 00:26:51,845 --> 00:26:52,930 Can you visit? 469 00:26:55,224 --> 00:26:57,017 Yes. Where are you? 470 00:26:57,017 --> 00:26:58,519 Somerset. I've gotta go. 471 00:26:58,977 --> 00:27:00,229 GREY: I'm home. 472 00:27:00,646 --> 00:27:03,232 Iris? Iris? 473 00:27:03,232 --> 00:27:05,567 GREY: Oh, hi Iris. Are you staying for tea? 474 00:27:05,567 --> 00:27:07,694 Where's your mom? 475 00:27:07,694 --> 00:27:11,073 ♪ Prince of tears Prince of tears ♪ 476 00:27:11,073 --> 00:27:14,576 ♪ No one's gonna love you More than us ♪ 477 00:27:14,576 --> 00:27:16,912 ♪ Everybody loves to say... ♪ 478 00:27:16,912 --> 00:27:19,873 FERRYMAN: Oh, a beer. There you go and a loaf of bread. 479 00:27:19,873 --> 00:27:21,708 Four pounds, got it? 480 00:27:21,708 --> 00:27:23,836 All right. And what about you, flower? 481 00:27:23,836 --> 00:27:25,337 - Have you got any red? - FERRYMAN: Any red? 482 00:27:25,337 --> 00:27:27,089 I've got all the red in the world. 483 00:27:27,089 --> 00:27:29,091 - Yeah, I'll get two bottles. - Two, is it? 484 00:27:29,967 --> 00:27:32,219 That'll be five pounds each. 485 00:27:32,219 --> 00:27:34,096 - Cheers! - FERRYMAN: Thanks a lot, love. 486 00:27:34,972 --> 00:27:36,432 Uh, what about you guys? 487 00:27:36,432 --> 00:27:38,016 ♪ Prince of tears Prince of tears ♪ 488 00:27:38,016 --> 00:27:41,478 ♪ No one's gonna love you More than us ♪ 489 00:27:41,478 --> 00:27:44,898 ♪ Prince of tears Prince of tears ♪ 490 00:27:44,898 --> 00:27:48,193 ♪ No one's gonna love you More than us ♪ 491 00:27:48,944 --> 00:27:50,737 ♪ And the prince of tears ♪ 492 00:27:51,697 --> 00:27:53,115 ♪ Wiped his eyes ♪ 493 00:27:55,451 --> 00:27:57,536 ♪ And looked At everything he owned ♪ 494 00:27:58,287 --> 00:27:59,538 ♪ And smiled ♪ 495 00:28:01,832 --> 00:28:06,879 ♪ Everybody loves to say Goodbye ♪ 496 00:28:08,589 --> 00:28:14,094 ♪ Everybody loves to say Goodbye ♪ 497 00:28:15,554 --> 00:28:20,225 ♪ Everybody loves to say Goodbye ♪ 498 00:28:20,225 --> 00:28:21,477 ♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪