It's the first day of school!
You know what that means...
-Schedules! -Muffins!
You packed your own muffin pan?
Doesn't everybody?
It's for my mom's magical mango muffins.
That's how we kick off
West Coast Roberts' back to school traditions.
Um...
After muffins,
there's the first day outfit picture,
time capsules and family karaoke night.
It's the only way to set the tone for a perfect school year.
W-Wow.
That's a lot.
And they all sound great.
I just wish you'd told me sooner.
I still have to pick up my favorite pens.
The right ink flow can make an essay feel alive.
Time for breakfast.
Maybe muffins this weekend?
Um, sure.
Mom, Dad?
George, wake up. It's Barbie.
Are you okay, honey?
It's 4:00 AM?
More noodles!
Oh, Margaret.
It was the mac and cheese dream again.
I was drowning in cheddar.
Whoops. Time zones.
Morning here, way too early there.
Everything's fine.
Love you. Bye.
Wait, sweetie!
Happy first day.
You're making the muffins right?
Yes.
I am.
Heads up.
-Thanks, Dad. -Thanks, baby.
Don't forget to clean the cat box.
-Barbie. -Yes?
Sorry, this Barbie.
Hope you like poppy seed.
Thanks.
Got any milk?
And flour, eggs, baking soda and some mangoes?
Interesting bagel toppings.
Actually I wanted to make muffins.
They're a family tradition.
Hmm. We don't have any mangoes.
Would a week old guava I picked up in Hawaii work?
Um... not really?
Sorry, Barbie.
Maybe I can pick some up later.
Mango muffins this weekend?
-Mm.
Got a jet.
La France, here I come.
And I gotta get to the office.
-Cat box. -Right after the cat box.
Okay. No muffins,
but what about the time capsule?
Fun for the future.
Speaking of the future,
subway leaves in 12 minutes 30 seconds.
We gotta leave in five if we're going to be on time.
-And by on time... -You mean early.
I mean early.
Could use a little mango.
Dance, music theory, vocal.
Morning. Happy first day of school.
Love the hair.
Yes to the purple streaks!
Huh. 8:30.
Still too early on the West Coast to try home again,
but I can call at lunch, right?
Brooklyn?
Malibu, look who it is!
-It's, it's, it's... -Breathe.
Can you spell it out for me?
Charades? How many syllables?
Rafa, Brooklyn short-circuited.
It's Bertram Livsey. He's a genius.
One of the greatest actors of all time.
No, the greatest.
I've seen him on Broadway like 10 times.
He just doesn't know acting, he is acting.
What's he doing here?
Oh, is that him?
Because I heard from some dance kids,
who heard it from some film students,
who heard it from some drama kids
that he's guest-teaching here this year.
By audition only.
Yeah, maybe let's work on that first impression.
I am so getting into his class.
What'll I perform?
I gotta find the perfect piece.
Something that shows my range but isn't too much of a stretch.
Something hilarious but also serious.
Something that everybody knows and loves but is totally fresh.
I know.
A dramatic hero scene.
Nope. Too horsey.
Maybe something mysterious.
Eye of newt and tail of frog.
Wait, is it tail of snake?
Nope.
Too smelly.
More iconic.
Woah!
Ugh!
Nope. Too dizzy.
I have no idea what to do.
Better figure it out fast. Auditions are tomorrow.
-Tomorrow?
And class is now.
See you at lunch, Rafa.
Brooklyn, breathe.
Breathe.
Can I help you with something?
My guess is, uh, no.
Have it your way.
But for future reference, this is my good side.
Let's begin warming up, shall we?
Psst. Brooklyn.
What are you doing?
Didn't you hear her? We're starting.
Gotta find a perfect audition piece.
And seven, and eight.
No. No.
Maybe. No.
Brooklyn, she's coming!
I thought I said no phones, Miss Roberts.
Is there somewhere you'd rather be than in my class?
Because that can be arranged.
Oh, madam.
I, um...
It's my fault.
Because, well, your scarf. It's so beautiful.
It's an Alessandra Boujay, right?
That's correct.
I've been looking everywhere for one just like it,
so I asked Brooklyn to check online
because I left my phone in my locker.
I mean, that color? With your eyes?
They're impossible to find.
But I got this one at a sample sale.
I'll send you the link after class.
Thanks for the rescue.
No problem.
And I snagged an amazing scarf on that site she sent me
so it was a total win-win.
Oh, and speaking of fashion,
I think it's time for the first day outfit photoshoot back home.
Oh, no, I missed it.
At least Skipper sent the pic.
Disaster.
My costume design instructor told us
to build a signature look that explores our inner essence.
I'm still working on my outer essence!
And she wants it in two days?
Real art takes time, and...
Oh, no, he isn't!
Did we not just talk about this?
My right side is my good side.
Future award winning director The Dash.
Cheers.
The Dash?
Like the punctuation?
What, was the comma taken?
The semicolon too boring?
Full name Daschel Haycraft the Third.
But he goes by The Dash.
Here to talk about The Dash's next groundbreaking epic,
an expose on aspiring artists in their natural habitat.
You two, love the desperation. Love it.
You though, you're holding back.
I need grit, I need angst.
Something, anything.
Listen, Dash.
The Dash.
If you say so.
Anyway, we're kind of in the middle of something.
So that's a wrap.
Ah! Speaking The Dash's language.
I like it, I like it.
Ciao.
So.
-This assignment...
Ooh. Got to get to music theory.
And I'm off to stage lighting. And to find an audition piece.
We'll catch up about your costume after school, Rafa.
I cannot work under these conditions.
Ugh. It's still the middle of the school day on the West Coast.
I need to have a serious talk
with whoever invented time zones.
What happened? What's wrong?
Good, huh?
It's part of my audition piece from Romeo and Juliet.
Perfect choice, right?
Lots of crying.
Bertram loves tears.
The man can cry on command.
He won the Sobby Award for his revolutionary work in the play
"The Weeping Windmill".
Well, the next Sobby is as good as yours.
I'll leave you to it.
Yes!
You got this.
Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?
What'd you say, honey?
I'm not talking to you, Dad.
I'm talking to Romeo.
Aww. After first day of school beach walk?
I wish I were there.
What? You're breaking up.
Better now?
How about now?
Now?
Deny thy father and...
Etta? Dinner!
Woah.
Sorry, Etta.
Romeo!
Your timing's perfect.
Just got back from the skateboard park.
So tell me, Barbie,
did you burn the muffins this morning?
Uh, no.
I didn't even get to make them.
And that was one time.
I can still smell the smoke.
I was 10.
That which we call a rose
by any other name would smell as sweet.
She almost got in trouble.
So I told her how much I love her scarf and...
-Oh, one sec.
Does this scream me? What about this?
Does it say I'm a fierce jungle cat but also a frisky kitten?
Um, yes.
I knew it. I'm starting over.
Everything cool?
Yep. Just a costume.
Hold on.
Trust me, you're a jungle cat.
Huh?
Whoops. Hold please.
Does this say elegant elk or teeny mouse?
No, you're right. Needs more majestic moose.
Crisis averted.
-Romeo!
And it sounds like there's one more crisis to handle.
Talk tomorrow?
For sure. Night, Barbie.
Romeo better be worth the yelling!
Morning!
I thought you were coming up after last night's Romeo.
How'd your all nighter go?
Oh, no. I can't talk!
What'd you say? It's like you're not talking.
-I'm not talking. -Are you talking?
Too much rehearsal.
Lost voice.
You must've rehearsed too much
and lost your voice.
Don't worry.
I can fix this, but I'll need some backup.
Tea, drink it.
Heating pad, wear it.
Garlic, chew it.
Oh, no. Still no voice?
Don't worry.
We'll think of something.
I can't pull off antlers.
Don't ask.
Rafa, you're super talented
and you're going to figure this out.
Thank you, Malibu. Your turn, Brooklyn.
Say nice things.
She can't say anything.
Too much rehearsal.
No voice? I'll accept a note.
And cut!
Yeah, better, better, but not great.
I'm not a miracle worker people.
Help me help you.
Oh, and, uh, Rafa, the camera doesn't lie, my friend.
Your left side is your good side.
Please. You have no idea what you're talking abou...
He's right.
Annoying, but right.
This changes everything.
Let's go again, this time with some actual feeling.
Back to one.
We don't have time.
Brooklyn's supposed to perform this afternoon
and she can't talk.
Unbelievable!
This is why I always have understudies standing by.
I need a coffee.
You should have an understudy.
You do have an understudy!
Me. I'll be your voice.
I'll say the lines offstage while you lip sync them onstage.
It'll be like Shakespeare karaoke.
You really think you can do this?
No problem.
It's going to be so flawless no one will suspect a thing.
h
-Hey, Mom, one sec.
I'm trying to pick my song for karaoke tonight.
What's that one you like?
The one where that part goes
-I don't... - Oh, yes, you do.
Seriously, Mom? I don't...
Oh, never mind, honey. Work's calling.
I gotta run.
Call you later. Love you.
Hello, good afternoon and welcome to my auditions.
My name is Bertram Livsey.
You may know me from my smash Broadway hit
"The Flounder at Midnight" and my award winning one-man show,
"Me, Myself, and I: Journey to the Center of Me."
Hmm?
And now I am here to bring me to you.
-If you're lucky.
I am here to mold and shape
the next generation of thespians.
But am I willing to work with just anyone?
No.
You must be excellent, you must be outstanding,
you must be incredible and in a moment
we'll see who has what it takes.
Only the truly gifted will make the cut.
And that's why I will only always and ever love you.
Next.
That will be all.
Don't. Just don't.
You may begin, Miss Roberts.
Miss Roberts, is there a problem?
The play. Where is it?
No, no, no, no.
You got this.
Romeo, Romeo.
Wherefore art thou, Romeo?
Art thou uppeth the hilleth with Jacketh and Jilleth?
Sorry!
Four score and seven years ago,
Romeo Romeo, sat on a wall and had a great fall.
Look, up there, way up there!
It's a bird, it's a plane.
Oh, I'm so sorry, Barbie.
I lost your script and I panicked.
Thanks. I know you tried.
I probably should've just asked to audition later.
My fair ladies, did you knocketh them dead?
Oh, apparently not.
Your turn to say nice things.
Well, it's like my abuela always says,
"When the rain begins to fall
and the roof above your head is leaking,
hop on your motorcycle and ride out of town."
Your abuela rides a motorcycle?
-Only when it rains.
Quite an exit, Miss Barbie Roberts.
And quite a performance as well.
That was the most inventive comedic commentary
on Shakespeare I've ever seen.
Pure genius.
It reminded me of me when I played the lead in
"The Prince and the Doughnut."
Did you see it?
Truly glorious.
Welcome to my class.
-I'm in? -Yes.
-Your friend too.
That's right, Miss Barbie Roberts, the other one.
I could see your shoes the whole time.
Cute, but very noticeable.
Loved your improv.
It reminded me of me when I played the lead in
"The Walrus With a Chance."
Did you see it? It was a triumph.
See you in class.
-Woo-hoo! -Yes!
This is amazing.
You ladies are an inspiration.
I know exactly what to do for my project now.
With a little risk and a whole lot of improv,
my costume will be bursting with inner essence.
And who knows. Maybe I'll win a Sobby Award one day.
You've got my vote.
Oh, we can celebrate with mango muffins.
Actually, I think I'm okay to skip the mangoes.
Who wants mango curry?
Oh, my gosh, I love mangoes!
Gotta go. Love you, bye.
It's a little New York twist on your West Coast tradition.
I know how much you miss them.
Plus, my dad felt so bad, he bought like 100 mangoes.
Had to do something with them.
Thanks, Barbie. It's delicious.
Who's up for some karaoke?
It's not the first day of school,
but traditions and tunes Tuesday
has a nice ring to it, don't you think?
And with the words right on the screen, you can't miss them.