1 00:00:13,473 --> 00:00:16,434 {\an8}- Hold all my ca-- Whoa! 2 00:00:17,059 --> 00:00:18,394 ♪ Boss Baby! ♪ 3 00:00:18,394 --> 00:00:20,688 ♪ I'm the boss, dial in to the meeting ♪ 4 00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,732 ♪ Everybody here? Please find your seating ♪ 5 00:00:22,732 --> 00:00:24,942 ♪ While you teething I'm sinking my teeth in ♪ 6 00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:27,320 ♪ First one to show So I can do all my greeting ♪ 7 00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:29,530 ♪ Profits, payrolls, and pacifiers ♪ 8 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,866 ♪ I make friends! I love you, you're hired! ♪ 9 00:00:31,866 --> 00:00:34,368 ♪ So come on And raise your juice boxes skyward! ♪ 10 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,370 ♪ Boss babies until we retire! ♪ 11 00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:38,331 - ♪ Boss baby ♪ - ♪ Tell 'em who this is ♪ 12 00:00:38,331 --> 00:00:40,792 - ♪ Boss baby ♪ - ♪ I'm a legend, mythic ♪ 13 00:00:40,792 --> 00:00:43,044 - ♪ Boss baby ♪ - ♪ Can a baby get a witness? ♪ 14 00:00:43,044 --> 00:00:44,087 ♪ Grab a high chair ♪ 15 00:00:44,087 --> 00:00:47,006 ♪ This the family business Boss baby ♪ 16 00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:54,013 Just-- Legs in and relax your back. How do you even bend like that? 17 00:00:54,013 --> 00:00:57,225 - Honey! Baby! Muffin! 18 00:00:57,225 --> 00:00:59,852 Three pet names in a row, Mommy's losing it! 19 00:00:59,852 --> 00:01:02,688 Let her get some fresh air, kid, it's been two weeks. 20 00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:04,857 - What are you seeing? 21 00:01:04,857 --> 00:01:08,903 Nothing, sorry! I'm just... New company, first mission! 22 00:01:08,903 --> 00:01:10,655 Gotta stay focused, JJ. 23 00:01:10,655 --> 00:01:14,075 On how we'll remember this day for the rest of our lives! 24 00:01:14,075 --> 00:01:18,287 - Okay! Okay! We will stay in! 25 00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:20,581 No, she's trying to power through it! 26 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,750 Dez, have you made contact with Fussy Baby? 27 00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:26,504 Still waiting for an opportunity. But may I indulge in a personal aside? 28 00:01:26,504 --> 00:01:27,672 Go for it. 29 00:01:27,672 --> 00:01:30,758 I am, excuse me, very excited about all this. 30 00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:33,344 {\an8}- I know, me too! 31 00:01:33,344 --> 00:01:37,807 Hey! We are in the middle of a tantrum-throwing hostage situation! 32 00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:39,767 Are you both as giddy as I am? 33 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:42,478 What kept you? 34 00:01:42,478 --> 00:01:46,732 Brainstorming names for the new company with Tabitha and Bad Idea Baby. 35 00:01:46,732 --> 00:01:50,194 I told you, "Heartdazzle Into Happiness Inc." HI-HI! Done. 36 00:01:50,194 --> 00:01:54,365 Great! I'm gonna carve the name into our first mission celebration cake. 37 00:01:54,365 --> 00:01:56,826 We are not calling the company "HI-HI." 38 00:01:56,826 --> 00:02:00,621 We should be calling it "National United Baby Resources Group," 39 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:03,666 but apparently, my co-CEO hates thinking big. 40 00:02:03,666 --> 00:02:05,710 Who wants to work for "Nubrg"? 41 00:02:05,710 --> 00:02:08,337 Heads up, Mommy's back on her phone and scrolling. 42 00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:10,173 No, stay off social media! 43 00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:12,675 It's a false reality to make you feel bad 44 00:02:12,675 --> 00:02:15,845 so you'll purchase things and vote against your own interests! 45 00:02:15,845 --> 00:02:18,723 Update. She's not just scrolling, she's posting! 46 00:02:18,723 --> 00:02:20,975 She's taking her baby frustrations public! 47 00:02:20,975 --> 00:02:23,144 - What? - No! 48 00:02:23,144 --> 00:02:24,228 What's she writing? 49 00:02:24,228 --> 00:02:25,521 I can't make it out, 50 00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:28,441 but I see a lot of exclamation points and screaming emojis. 51 00:02:28,441 --> 00:02:31,777 She's gonna lob a mommy-blog Molotov all over Baby Love, 52 00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:33,279 on our company's first mission! 53 00:02:33,279 --> 00:02:36,574 Dez, we have to open negotiations with that fussy baby! 54 00:02:36,574 --> 00:02:39,327 - I think I can get them separated, but-- - Then do it! 55 00:02:42,747 --> 00:02:47,585 I am secretly alive, and every dream you've had about me is real. 56 00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:54,050 Lovey, sweetie? Mommy's gonna let you play while she locks herself in the bathroom 57 00:02:54,050 --> 00:02:56,969 and screams into the hand towels for a few minutes, okay? 58 00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:04,143 Fussy's free to talk, but he's not gonna wanna negotiate with me. 59 00:03:04,143 --> 00:03:06,187 Gonna be a real shriek-show in there. 60 00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:09,231 Simmons threw together some tantrum-defusing suits. 61 00:03:19,325 --> 00:03:21,702 - What? What? - What? 62 00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:24,705 - No. What? - What? 63 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:27,792 - Luxes. - What are you doing here? 64 00:03:27,792 --> 00:03:30,836 Don't change your location or outfits before we make this call. 65 00:03:30,836 --> 00:03:34,799 Look and say hello Nannycam No-Filter CEO Baby! 66 00:03:34,799 --> 00:03:38,302 Yo, we got bunnies! Adorable. 67 00:03:38,302 --> 00:03:43,057 Yeah, great to see you, but we're actually on a mission right now. 68 00:03:43,057 --> 00:03:46,352 Did you two start your own Baby Love company? That's so cute! 69 00:03:46,352 --> 00:03:48,562 - It's called "Heartdazzle Into-- - No, it's not. 70 00:03:49,522 --> 00:03:52,149 If that one's your client, you mind getting on it? 71 00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:54,527 My new and improved field team-- 72 00:03:54,527 --> 00:03:55,903 - Hi. - Hello. Us. 73 00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:58,572 They're working a five-percenter birthday party next door. 74 00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,283 We don't wanna harsh the vibes. 75 00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:05,246 There's so much Baby Love we're actually required to have doctors standing by. 76 00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:09,208 Anyway, no hard feelings for ruining my retirement from Baby Corp! 77 00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:14,213 You're replaceable and I've forgotten you exist. Bye, bunnies! 78 00:04:14,213 --> 00:04:16,841 Good luck with your shouty trash baby! 79 00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:19,593 Fussy's mom still occupied? 80 00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:22,471 In the bathroom, typing. Sounds like you better hurry. 81 00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:26,183 - Go send for the big gun, we're coming in. Deploying now, sir. 82 00:04:30,855 --> 00:04:32,106 Since when does he--? 83 00:04:32,106 --> 00:04:35,901 Italian marble, German-engineered propulsion system! 84 00:04:38,571 --> 00:04:42,908 Easy, Fussy. We're just two happy bunnies, here to help. 85 00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:45,077 But you gotta help us out too. 86 00:04:45,077 --> 00:04:47,663 You've had Mommy cooped up for two weeks. 87 00:04:47,663 --> 00:04:51,167 What's it gonna take for you to let her see daylight again? 88 00:04:53,127 --> 00:04:55,379 Stuffed plushy and a warm bottle. 89 00:04:58,215 --> 00:05:02,094 See how easy it is for all of us to get everything we want? 90 00:05:02,094 --> 00:05:04,555 Human contact! I'm coming! 91 00:05:04,555 --> 00:05:07,600 Big gun's here. You did real good, kid. 92 00:05:08,351 --> 00:05:11,979 Hello, ma'am. Professional babysitter. At your service. 93 00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:15,149 Are you real? Don't answer that, I'm desperate! 94 00:05:15,149 --> 00:05:17,026 - He needs me. 95 00:05:17,026 --> 00:05:19,487 No, ma'am. Please. I can handle him. 96 00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:21,822 Ma'am. Trust the professionals. 97 00:05:25,451 --> 00:05:28,621 You guys got a vacuum or a large fish tank filter? 98 00:05:28,621 --> 00:05:31,999 - White noise might soothe him. - I'll try anything. 99 00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,043 Hey, bub, we had a deal! 100 00:05:35,294 --> 00:05:38,464 Yes, I did say it was easy to get everything we want, 101 00:05:38,464 --> 00:05:41,050 but that wasn't an invitation to gouge us! 102 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:45,763 Where would we even get a kiddie pool full of applesauce? 103 00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:51,811 Get him what he wants! Kid's playing us like a public golf course. 104 00:05:51,811 --> 00:05:55,606 Hang on. See how happy he looks with his grandpa? 105 00:05:55,606 --> 00:05:58,025 Tabitha, you're worth every nickel 106 00:05:58,025 --> 00:06:01,153 of your masterfully negotiated compensation package. 107 00:06:01,153 --> 00:06:02,488 Cammy, tune up. 108 00:06:04,115 --> 00:06:07,409 She's typing. Gonna be posting that rant any second. 109 00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:09,036 Grandpa ETA? 110 00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:12,957 Give me a break! He's a couple towns away. But I put a rush on it. 111 00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:18,003 I feel one-upped. 112 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:22,049 - Where's my little tooting bean? 113 00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:25,261 Dad? How did you...? Who cares how. 114 00:06:25,261 --> 00:06:26,720 Can you watch the baby? 115 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:30,516 I gotta get a manicure, massage, haircut, groceries, jog, try on a dress, 116 00:06:30,516 --> 00:06:32,726 put it on hold to have brunch with friends, 117 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,146 then remember the dress, go back and try it on 118 00:06:35,146 --> 00:06:38,232 and realize I never liked it to begin with! I love you! 119 00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:42,862 Take a bow! 120 00:06:42,862 --> 00:06:45,030 - All right! Whoa! 121 00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:46,866 Let the baby world know, 122 00:06:46,866 --> 00:06:50,327 Grinnygums Smileforce is open for business! 123 00:06:50,828 --> 00:06:52,788 If you're gonna shoot down HI-HI, 124 00:06:52,788 --> 00:06:55,416 I gotta use one of my million great backup company names! 125 00:06:55,416 --> 00:06:59,336 We need a name that shows we may be small, but we're tenacious, 126 00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:02,173 digging in deep until we hit the jackpot. 127 00:07:02,173 --> 00:07:07,636 And that's why we call ourselves "Mosquitoswarm, LLC." 128 00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:08,762 No. 129 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,848 This calls for cupcakes! 130 00:07:10,848 --> 00:07:12,349 Yes, it does! 131 00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:16,562 Only question is, double sprinkles? Or double double? 132 00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:18,522 Tina... - Later, Amal. 133 00:07:18,522 --> 00:07:21,692 - I'm ordering cupcakes. No, you're not. 134 00:07:21,692 --> 00:07:23,277 We can't afford cupcakes. 135 00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:26,780 Actually, we can't even afford to be having this conversation. 136 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:27,698 We're broke. 137 00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:29,617 Broke? How? 138 00:07:29,617 --> 00:07:33,537 That one mission completely wiped out our entire operating budget. 139 00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:36,499 Flying marble bust? Tantrum-defusing bunny suits? 140 00:07:36,499 --> 00:07:39,084 Grandpa helped himself to the snacks on that helicopter. 141 00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:40,711 That's where they get you. 142 00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:43,130 No, you're reading it wrong. 143 00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:44,882 We just earned Baby Love. 144 00:07:44,882 --> 00:07:47,176 But we still need money to operate. 145 00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:49,261 Money? Ha! Who cares about money? 146 00:07:49,261 --> 00:07:51,347 You stop talking right now. 147 00:07:51,347 --> 00:07:54,725 This business is about important stuff, not money! 148 00:07:54,725 --> 00:07:58,145 You are invoking forces you cannot possibly comprehend! 149 00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:00,898 It's nonsense. A thing mommies and daddies talk about 150 00:08:00,898 --> 00:08:03,651 about when they wanna be sad or angry. Money is dumb. 151 00:08:03,651 --> 00:08:05,528 Dolla-billa-mammon! 152 00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:06,529 Wha...? 153 00:08:06,529 --> 00:08:09,782 You wanna know what money is? It's possibility! 154 00:08:09,782 --> 00:08:11,951 Because that's what money buys you. 155 00:08:11,951 --> 00:08:15,412 See Bob over there? Bob makes hats. That's his job! 156 00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:18,582 And when he sells them, what do you think he gets? 157 00:08:18,582 --> 00:08:22,044 A shower of gross paper? Possibility! 158 00:08:22,044 --> 00:08:23,546 Look at Bob go! 159 00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:27,132 He's turning that money into a new bike! Or Thai takeout! 160 00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:31,178 Or a neon sign with a shark saying, "Where's the party, dudes?" 161 00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:35,808 Thanks, money. - Wait! 162 00:08:36,058 --> 00:08:38,602 So Bob has to work his hat-making butt off 163 00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:42,815 just so some bozo can decide, "You get this many pieces of paper, Bob"? 164 00:08:42,815 --> 00:08:45,651 And some other clown gets to decide how many papers it takes 165 00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:48,362 to trade for a neon shark or food? 166 00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:49,863 Yeah, you get it! 167 00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:52,700 - Dumb. Uh, kids? 168 00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:54,451 You got visitors. 169 00:08:56,495 --> 00:09:01,292 "Reclaiming property for lack of payment." They can do that? 170 00:09:03,794 --> 00:09:05,963 Hey! You can't take Dez! 171 00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:10,134 It's okay. I already changed into something more affordable. 172 00:09:10,134 --> 00:09:11,635 Convinced yet? 173 00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:16,390 Mommy! Daddy! Our company has no money, so we need you to give us a bunch! 174 00:09:18,851 --> 00:09:21,186 Sorry, baby. Can't help you. 175 00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:22,980 It breaks my number-one rule: 176 00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:26,233 Don't mix money with family, unless you're prepared to lose both. 177 00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:28,652 - This is different. - You know your Uncle Javi? 178 00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:29,695 No. 179 00:09:29,695 --> 00:09:31,530 Let that be a lesson to you. 180 00:09:32,114 --> 00:09:35,784 Need I remind you, we are already providing lodging and workspace for-- 181 00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:37,494 You need more pudding cups. 182 00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:41,165 Now I have to eat the good ice cream you hide in the back of the freezer. 183 00:09:41,165 --> 00:09:42,541 Not the little carton! 184 00:09:42,541 --> 00:09:46,712 No! Kids get the store-brand value tub. You're too small to know the difference! 185 00:09:46,712 --> 00:09:48,130 Is she wearing my slippers? 186 00:09:48,130 --> 00:09:51,634 We don't need much, just some seed money for launch. 187 00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:53,636 A million or two, three at most. 188 00:09:55,638 --> 00:09:59,433 Well, sorry to tell you girls, but your parents are cheapskates. 189 00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:01,518 Simmons! How are the new monitors? 190 00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:05,689 I stitched this together from some old electronics I found under the stairs. 191 00:10:05,689 --> 00:10:07,232 But I am not your brother. 192 00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:11,236 I am undercover police but also the ghost of your former boyfriend. 193 00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:14,573 You are under arrest. And I still love you! 194 00:10:14,573 --> 00:10:15,491 I know! 195 00:10:15,491 --> 00:10:16,909 How can Didier still love her 196 00:10:16,909 --> 00:10:20,329 after she pushed him into that sinkhole at their wedding? 197 00:10:20,329 --> 00:10:24,208 Sorry. Sometimes it gets interference from an Ivorian soap opera. 198 00:10:24,208 --> 00:10:27,836 Let me know if Moussa went through with the brain transplant. 199 00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:30,798 Thank you, Simmons! And if I know soap operas, he will. 200 00:10:31,882 --> 00:10:34,051 All right, let's get some money. 201 00:10:34,051 --> 00:10:36,428 What? How? You said it was super hard! 202 00:10:36,428 --> 00:10:39,264 Only because I didn't wanna make this call. 203 00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:41,934 Benny? I need transport for two. 204 00:10:44,061 --> 00:10:47,690 Welcome to the first and only baby bank! 205 00:10:47,690 --> 00:10:51,860 Converting love into dollars for who knows how many generations. 206 00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:54,113 Wow. Why is it underwater? 207 00:10:54,113 --> 00:10:56,198 What did you think "offshore banking" meant? 208 00:10:56,198 --> 00:10:57,825 - Oh! 209 00:10:57,825 --> 00:11:02,287 Is that a choo-choo? Can we ride? Let's get front row! Are those lollipops? 210 00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:04,164 Why didn't we come here first? 211 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:06,667 - Are you serious? 212 00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:08,585 We had to do all this runaround 213 00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:10,754 because you didn't wanna bank with kittens? 214 00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:14,049 Oh, no, cats are uniquely suited to working in finance. 215 00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:18,053 Finicky about the details, and not an ounce of pity in their souls. 216 00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:22,850 I was hoping to avoid... 217 00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:24,518 Ooh! Boss Baby! 218 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:27,312 And this must be the Tina Templeton! 219 00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:30,190 Banker Baby Benny, here's my hand, you know what to do! 220 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,693 I love this color. I wish everything was this color. 221 00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:35,154 - What are we doing today? - We need money! 222 00:11:35,154 --> 00:11:37,406 - Yes. A small-- - Business loan. Jinx! 223 00:11:37,406 --> 00:11:38,782 I figured as much. 224 00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:40,826 Heard about your exit from Baby Corp. 225 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,914 So, what's the new shingle, my dingles? 226 00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:50,210 Still generating Baby Love, but instead of cashing in on the most loved babies-- 227 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,379 Choo-choo! 228 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:53,297 Carry on. 229 00:11:53,297 --> 00:11:56,467 Our company is interested in cornering a different market. 230 00:11:56,467 --> 00:11:58,177 Hold on just one sec. 231 00:11:58,177 --> 00:12:01,513 Mr. Tigglesnooks, I'm gonna need you to reschedule my 4:00 p.m. burping. 232 00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:03,223 Nope, just cancel. 233 00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:08,729 Uh, yes, see, our company will focus on the babies Baby Corp ignores, 234 00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:10,022 the hardest ones. 235 00:12:10,022 --> 00:12:15,277 A business built entirely on a bunch of Tantrum Tysons and Drooly Julies? 236 00:12:17,613 --> 00:12:20,949 Hmm. Could work. Does this company have a name? 237 00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:23,660 - Sunshine Businesski! - Parvulus Worldwide. 238 00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:26,455 You're throwing a bunch of consonants together! 239 00:12:26,455 --> 00:12:29,082 - Pick a hand. - That's only one hand. 240 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:32,377 Then it should be easy. I'll make it even easier. It's money. 241 00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:33,837 You're giving us money? 242 00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:37,799 Your pitch was terrible. Worst I've heard in a rash and a half. 243 00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:41,220 But I know how much love you two used to bring in back in the day. 244 00:12:41,220 --> 00:12:45,974 And a baby doesn't get an office this close to the train without taking risks. 245 00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:49,645 Gross paper! - Ten dollars? 246 00:12:49,645 --> 00:12:54,066 Use this to prove you're a viable, Baby-Love booming business. 247 00:12:54,066 --> 00:12:55,526 Then you get the loan. 248 00:12:55,526 --> 00:12:58,987 - And you better impress me-- Shiny train! 249 00:13:01,198 --> 00:13:05,160 I say we buy more pencils. Chip keeps snapping mine. 250 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:09,665 Every pencil I break in half is two I can sell on the black market! 251 00:13:09,665 --> 00:13:11,583 We're still paying me, right? 252 00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:14,461 Because I love this job, but I'm not lowering my quote. 253 00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:16,797 - We'll pay you in stock options. - Deal! 254 00:13:17,673 --> 00:13:19,675 It's like imaginary future money. 255 00:13:19,675 --> 00:13:22,636 This just gets dumber and dumber. 256 00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:26,890 We need to use this to show who we are, by helping a difficult baby. 257 00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:30,018 Shoplifter Baby? Always throwing stuff in the cart. 258 00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:31,895 - Love that guy. - Headbutt Baby! 259 00:13:31,895 --> 00:13:34,231 We turn his head into an actual butt, 260 00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:37,442 it'll be softer and we wouldn't even have to change the name. 261 00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:39,778 To wow Benny, it's gotta be flashy. 262 00:13:39,778 --> 00:13:42,781 - Who's the most hated baby in town? 263 00:13:42,781 --> 00:13:44,491 - Cathy. 264 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,959 You stink, Cathy! 265 00:13:54,543 --> 00:13:57,671 Sorry. It's just hard being so close to evil. 266 00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:58,839 What am I missing? 267 00:13:58,839 --> 00:14:01,508 It's okay, I got this one. 268 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:04,177 It all started on Cathy's birthday. 269 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:08,056 Picnic, party hats, even balloons with her face on them. 270 00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:11,351 It was the best first birthday Cathy ever had. 271 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:14,605 But it was about to go up in smoke. 272 00:14:15,147 --> 00:14:18,191 - See, it wasn't just Cathy's birthday. - Why? 273 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:21,445 It was game seven of the finals. 274 00:14:21,445 --> 00:14:24,197 We played so hard and this was gonna be our year. 275 00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,617 - It's not fair! 276 00:14:26,617 --> 00:14:29,786 - That baby's a loser! She ruined everything! 277 00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:31,580 That's awful. 278 00:14:31,580 --> 00:14:34,666 - So who won the game? - Do not ask! 279 00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:37,461 The whole town refused to find out. 280 00:14:37,461 --> 00:14:39,296 What? That's ridiculous! 281 00:14:39,296 --> 00:14:43,425 What's worse, we lost, or we won but no one could watch the victory? 282 00:14:43,425 --> 00:14:45,260 It's a lose-lose, man! 283 00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:48,430 It's public knowledge! Look, I found a recap. 284 00:14:48,430 --> 00:14:51,975 - You just broke your own phone. - I'll take it out of my stock options. 285 00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:59,816 How much does it cost to have an airplane write "Cathy's really sorry" with clouds? 286 00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:01,485 This is beyond apologies. 287 00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:04,821 Sports fans aren't exactly rational. Right, Tabitha? 288 00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:06,531 I stand by my actions. 289 00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:10,243 The way the town sees it, Cathy stole something, and they want it back. 290 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,996 But what's been stolen here can't be given back. 291 00:15:12,996 --> 00:15:16,333 - It's a conundrum. - Wait, can't we give it back? 292 00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:17,918 Never give it back! 293 00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:21,046 Sorry, standard policy. What are you pitching? 294 00:15:21,046 --> 00:15:22,422 We do the game over! 295 00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:26,510 I mean, need I remind you all, we have ten dollars. 296 00:15:26,510 --> 00:15:29,513 Uh, staging a major sporting event could cost upwards of-- 297 00:15:29,513 --> 00:15:30,931 Wait a minute. Yes! 298 00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:33,809 No fans in town saw how it turned out anyway, right? 299 00:15:33,809 --> 00:15:35,769 We'll give all the credit to Cathy! 300 00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:38,313 She'll go from abhorred to adored. 301 00:15:38,313 --> 00:15:39,272 Nice. 302 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:42,025 Am I the only one who sees how insane this is? 303 00:15:42,025 --> 00:15:45,529 We can't recreate a national sporting event for ten bucks! 304 00:15:45,529 --> 00:15:47,656 Have you seen the team we have here? 305 00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:52,077 Tabitha, who once traded up a pen cap for an electric scooter? 306 00:15:52,077 --> 00:15:53,537 I am pretty good. 307 00:15:53,537 --> 00:15:57,124 Cammy, who chartered a helicopter in the middle of a suburb 308 00:15:57,124 --> 00:15:59,626 faster than it takes to deliver a pizza? 309 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,420 Me, who once talked a golf buddy 310 00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:05,132 into opening an island theme park where dinosaurs get brought back to-- 311 00:16:05,132 --> 00:16:07,509 Great story. Point is, sure, it's impossible. 312 00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:10,262 But we do impossible. 313 00:16:10,262 --> 00:16:11,471 - Yeah! - Yeah! 314 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:12,681 Let's do it! 315 00:16:12,681 --> 00:16:13,974 For Cathy. 316 00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:15,017 For Cathy. 317 00:16:15,017 --> 00:16:17,477 - Yeah! - For Cathy. 318 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:19,896 Touchdown! Touchdown! Touchdown! 319 00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:23,525 - What do you mean this is all we got? - We only had ten bucks! 320 00:16:23,525 --> 00:16:25,444 And don't forget about Chet! 321 00:16:25,444 --> 00:16:28,613 He's athletic and he'll do any job for $2. 322 00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:32,159 Hey, goose. How much you think I can dead lift? 323 00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:34,036 But our beautiful speech! 324 00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:36,371 What happened to all that inspiration? 325 00:16:36,371 --> 00:16:39,124 Well, marketing's had quite a day. 326 00:16:39,124 --> 00:16:43,712 Everyone smile 'cause we're gonna be on TV! 327 00:16:43,712 --> 00:16:44,671 Oh, no. 328 00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:49,051 And I made sure the whole town knows 329 00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:51,970 this is all thanks to Cathy. 330 00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:57,309 We need to call this off right now. 331 00:16:57,309 --> 00:17:00,270 M-O-N-E-Y. Benny is a cheering guy! 332 00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:02,898 - Why is Benny here? - I sent him VIP tix. 333 00:17:02,898 --> 00:17:04,024 Box seats! 334 00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:07,402 Can't wait to see what you two do with my money. So exciting! 335 00:17:07,402 --> 00:17:10,030 You pick today to be good at your job? 336 00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:12,532 Warning for our more sensitive viewers, 337 00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:16,828 the following story contains graphic descriptions of an atrocious baby. 338 00:17:16,828 --> 00:17:22,292 Ever since our game-seven experience was devastated by local miscreant Cathy, 339 00:17:22,292 --> 00:17:26,880 the question on everyone's mind has been, "Can we throw a baby in jail?" 340 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:30,342 We gotta cover this up! Somebody get rid of the goose! 341 00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:33,887 No, I didn't mean it sinisterly! 342 00:17:35,972 --> 00:17:37,474 Oh, head start, goose? 343 00:17:37,474 --> 00:17:39,601 I think not. 344 00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:41,561 In a baffling new development, 345 00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:45,899 it appears we have a gentleman on a literal wild goose chase. 346 00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:47,734 Is Cathy mocking us? 347 00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:50,237 - You be the judge. - What is this? 348 00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:56,201 And remember, today's event is brought to you by Cathy. 349 00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:58,286 Not Cathy again! 350 00:17:58,286 --> 00:18:03,125 So, Cathy, any comments on why you love to torture this town? 351 00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:05,836 Marsha's out for blood and another Peabody Award. 352 00:18:05,836 --> 00:18:07,295 Get Cathy out of there. 353 00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:09,881 Do you daydream of ruining people's nights, 354 00:18:09,881 --> 00:18:12,634 and night-dream of ruining their days? 355 00:18:12,634 --> 00:18:15,929 Well, at least that baby in the background's cute. 356 00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:18,890 Bystander Baby? [gasps] They wouldn't! 357 00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:20,475 Hi. Hello. 358 00:18:20,475 --> 00:18:23,019 Oh, good afternoon. For us. 359 00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:25,438 Not your Cathy. 360 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:28,900 Did you put your five-percenter in our news coverage? 361 00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,068 Yeah. 362 00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:33,071 Do you know how many persons are watching this catastrophe? 363 00:18:33,071 --> 00:18:34,364 Look at her numbers! 364 00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:37,993 - Hey, Bystander! Hey! Hey! Shut it down! 365 00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:42,747 Yes. Yes. I'm happy to see you again too! Just bystand somewhere else! 366 00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:44,916 How desperate would you say we are? 367 00:18:44,916 --> 00:18:47,252 Do you see me begging a baby not to be cute? 368 00:18:47,252 --> 00:18:51,339 You know how much the five-percenters always loved that Tina Templeton energy? 369 00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:54,009 I bet if you talked to Bystander right now, 370 00:18:54,009 --> 00:18:57,429 you could charm her away from Baby Corp to be our client. 371 00:18:57,429 --> 00:19:01,600 Salvage at least a little Baby Love from this disaster, keep our company afloat... 372 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:06,396 And baby-wipe those smirks off the Luxes' European supermodel faces! 373 00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:09,941 People are calling you "worse than an asphalt knee scrape." 374 00:19:09,941 --> 00:19:11,318 Care to comment? 375 00:19:12,611 --> 00:19:14,863 I know. You don't even have to say it. 376 00:19:14,863 --> 00:19:17,949 We started this business to help the hardest babies. 377 00:19:17,949 --> 00:19:20,243 I just said I know! 378 00:19:20,243 --> 00:19:22,287 Team Cathy to the bitter end. 379 00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:32,547 You think you're better than me, tape? 380 00:19:32,547 --> 00:19:36,801 You thought we were worth the risk once, we're asking you to take that risk again. 381 00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:38,970 - So, what do you say? Ten more-- - No! 382 00:19:38,970 --> 00:19:42,307 You didn't even let me finish! It was gonna be dollars. 383 00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:45,936 So close! Come on, move so I can see the action. 384 00:19:47,479 --> 00:19:48,730 You got this, man! 385 00:19:48,730 --> 00:19:51,691 - Almost reached the corner. - Get him, tape! Beat old Chet. 386 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:54,653 He's only in this for the money! You've got the heart! 387 00:19:54,653 --> 00:19:55,654 Get up, Chet! 388 00:19:55,654 --> 00:19:58,240 I mean, what is a "sporting event" anyway? 389 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:02,827 Just some contest with an uncertain outcome that people decide to care about. 390 00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:05,664 - Really, it's as dumb as money-- 391 00:20:05,664 --> 00:20:10,585 Quit while you're ahead. Dez, get some eyeballs on this dramatic contest. 392 00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:14,422 - Come on, you stupid tape! Busted. 393 00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:17,801 Yes, it's Cathy two, town zero-- 394 00:20:17,801 --> 00:20:19,886 Whoa! Watch it, man. You're... 395 00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:24,557 Come on! - So close to grasping that tape. 396 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:27,227 And a big effort from the tape grabber. 397 00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:29,938 But that sticky loop is really hanging on! 398 00:20:29,938 --> 00:20:32,649 We have a barnstormer of a doozy here, folks. 399 00:20:32,649 --> 00:20:35,819 Can man prevail? Or is it tape's lucky day? 400 00:20:35,819 --> 00:20:37,946 - Hey. Wait. Go back. 401 00:20:37,946 --> 00:20:41,241 He's trying through the legs. Inches away! 402 00:20:41,241 --> 00:20:43,451 Oh, and he's down! 403 00:20:48,206 --> 00:20:49,624 Go, Chet! 404 00:20:49,624 --> 00:20:52,961 He tries the spin-and-grab. Looks left. Looks right. 405 00:20:52,961 --> 00:20:57,215 - Looks promising. Oh, no dice. - Come on, Chet, you hack! 406 00:20:57,215 --> 00:21:00,510 - What do you got, pool noodle arms? We love you, Chet! 407 00:21:00,510 --> 00:21:02,971 Something big brewing here, sports fans. 408 00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:29,539 - Sweet Jiminy Jackson, he did it, folks! 409 00:21:29,539 --> 00:21:33,209 - The strange man got the back tape! - Yeah! 410 00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:37,881 Let me take a moment to thank the sponsor of today's event, Cathy! 411 00:21:37,881 --> 00:21:40,675 You thought you hated her, but think again. 412 00:21:40,675 --> 00:21:44,596 Cathy, how does it feel to be the most-loved baby in town? 413 00:21:48,391 --> 00:21:50,477 What's this? Should I open it? 414 00:21:51,728 --> 00:21:55,440 - We won game seven! 415 00:21:59,069 --> 00:22:03,114 Looks like loan approval for whatever we call ourselves. 416 00:22:03,114 --> 00:22:06,368 We can stay untitled for now. That's our company. 417 00:22:06,368 --> 00:22:07,577 Yeah, Cathy! 418 00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:21,049 Um, hey. 419 00:22:21,049 --> 00:22:25,136 I hear you're the baby who can ruin other babies' lives for money? 420 00:22:25,136 --> 00:22:29,766 Well, I got money and two babies I'm still pretty steamed at, 421 00:22:29,766 --> 00:22:32,102 so vengeance, please! 422 00:22:38,525 --> 00:22:41,778 It would make me ever so happy. 423 00:22:47,617 --> 00:22:54,165 - ♪ Boss baby ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 424 00:22:56,876 --> 00:22:59,170 - ♪ Boss baby ♪ - ♪ Tell 'em who this is ♪ 425 00:22:59,170 --> 00:23:01,714 - ♪ Boss baby ♪ - ♪ I'm a legend, mythic ♪ 426 00:23:01,714 --> 00:23:04,467 ♪ Y'all heard the story But you know what the twist is? ♪ 427 00:23:04,467 --> 00:23:07,428 ♪ Welcome to the family business Boss baby ♪