1
00:00:13,556 --> 00:00:14,891
Hold all my... Whoa!
2
00:00:14,891 --> 00:00:16,058
{\an8}[laughing]
3
00:00:17,059 --> 00:00:18,394
♪ Boss Baby ♪
4
00:00:18,394 --> 00:00:20,438
♪ I'm the boss
Dial in to the meeting ♪
5
00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:22,607
♪ Everybody here
Please, find your seating ♪
6
00:00:22,607 --> 00:00:24,984
♪ While you're teething
I'm sinking my teeth in ♪
7
00:00:24,984 --> 00:00:27,361
♪ First one to show
So I can do all my greeting ♪
8
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,655
♪ Profits, payrolls, and pacifiers ♪
9
00:00:29,655 --> 00:00:31,866
♪ I make friends
I love you, you're hired ♪
10
00:00:31,866 --> 00:00:34,368
♪ So come on and raise
Your juice boxes skyward ♪
11
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,162
♪ Boss babies until we retire ♪
12
00:00:36,162 --> 00:00:38,456
- ♪ Boss Baby ♪
- ♪ Tell them who this is ♪
13
00:00:38,456 --> 00:00:40,875
- ♪ Boss Baby ♪
- ♪ I'm a legend, mythic ♪
14
00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:43,377
- ♪ Boss Baby ♪
- ♪ Can a baby get a witness? ♪
15
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:46,005
♪ Grab a high chair
This the family business ♪
16
00:00:46,005 --> 00:00:47,006
♪ Boss Baby ♪
17
00:00:49,509 --> 00:00:52,303
"Floaties" on threes. Ones, twos...
18
00:00:52,303 --> 00:00:53,721
- Floaties.
- Uh...
19
00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:58,142
Yeah, no good.
No bigs. Plenty time for more.
20
00:00:58,142 --> 00:00:59,352
You excited?
21
00:00:59,352 --> 00:01:03,481
For Floaties? Oh, totally.
I've never actually been before.
22
00:01:03,481 --> 00:01:04,899
It's the best ever--
23
00:01:04,899 --> 00:01:07,068
I know it's gonna be perfect.
24
00:01:07,068 --> 00:01:10,905
I'll sort out my many
personal and professional struggles
25
00:01:10,905 --> 00:01:14,117
over a few days' vacation
at an all-inclusive baby resort.
26
00:01:15,076 --> 00:01:16,369
Wanna try another?
27
00:01:16,369 --> 00:01:17,829
{\an8}[both] Floaties!
28
00:01:17,829 --> 00:01:20,498
{\an8}You're a working baby. You know how it is.
29
00:01:20,498 --> 00:01:23,501
One day, your sister's pony
runs away to figure her life out
30
00:01:23,501 --> 00:01:25,586
after a run-in with a baby villain.
31
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:30,216
Next day, your cute cousin makes you feel
you're short-changing Mommy and Daddy
32
00:01:30,216 --> 00:01:33,094
on the snuggles
they'd get if you were a regular baby.
33
00:01:33,094 --> 00:01:37,014
{\an8}And you think maybe
that runaway pony was onto something.
34
00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:40,935
{\an8}But, gosh, if I run off
to vacation-solve all my problems,
35
00:01:40,935 --> 00:01:42,603
who's thinking of our clients?
36
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,188
- Do they need me?
- Floaties!
37
00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:46,107
- Can I borrow that? Thanks.
- Oi.
38
00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:48,651
[Boss Baby]
Buongiorno, my new Italian babies.
39
00:01:48,651 --> 00:01:50,069
{\an8}[sniffs]
40
00:01:50,069 --> 00:01:51,320
{\an8}[speaking Italian]
41
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:52,822
{\an8}[cell phone rings]
42
00:01:53,823 --> 00:01:55,700
{\an8}Can you reach me at Floaties
43
00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:59,871
{\an8}if something's wrong
with Pterodactyl Baby or Untalented Baby?
44
00:01:59,871 --> 00:02:02,165
{\an8}I'll keep naming babies
if you don't answer.
45
00:02:02,165 --> 00:02:04,000
{\an8}Answering with a question.
46
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,253
{\an8}Do you think I can't run an office solo?
47
00:02:07,253 --> 00:02:08,921
Answering you with a quiz.
48
00:02:08,921 --> 00:02:12,425
I name a client,
you describe the hug I invented for them.
49
00:02:12,425 --> 00:02:13,342
Question one--
50
00:02:13,342 --> 00:02:14,802
Answering with a noise.
51
00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:16,012
Teddy? [grumbles]
52
00:02:16,012 --> 00:02:17,930
- You need to let go.
- Sorry.
53
00:02:17,930 --> 00:02:22,143
I meant, let go of your work.
Otherwise, you end up like that.
54
00:02:22,143 --> 00:02:24,061
No, no, I'm still en route.
55
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:27,273
My chili-for-brains assistant
booked the wrong flight.
56
00:02:27,273 --> 00:02:30,610
- [babies babbling]
- Ugh. Tons of babies on this plane.
57
00:02:30,610 --> 00:02:32,695
Yeah, I saw the production costs.
58
00:02:32,695 --> 00:02:35,114
We sell moist towelettes,
not Italian loafers.
59
00:02:35,114 --> 00:02:37,283
Come on, I'm nothing like that.
60
00:02:37,283 --> 00:02:38,284
[snoring]
61
00:02:45,291 --> 00:02:47,001
Remember clocking in?
62
00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:51,297
Spending all day
type-type-typing up reports?
63
00:02:51,297 --> 00:02:54,926
Those unsatisfying lunches at your desk?
64
00:02:54,926 --> 00:02:55,843
The...
65
00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,053
[yawning]
66
00:02:57,053 --> 00:02:58,638
late nights?
67
00:02:58,638 --> 00:03:01,557
Remember all that?
Because I don't anymore.
68
00:03:01,557 --> 00:03:03,225
- [back cracks]
- Oh! Ooh.
69
00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:06,228
Floaties,
the five star-shaped-block resort
70
00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:10,066
where working tots go
to be pampered like regular babies,
71
00:03:10,066 --> 00:03:11,651
and have a little fun.
72
00:03:11,651 --> 00:03:13,736
I right well plan to, boyo.
73
00:03:13,736 --> 00:03:15,488
- Whoo!
- [all cheering]
74
00:03:18,449 --> 00:03:19,909
[Tina] This place is...
75
00:03:19,909 --> 00:03:23,329
[Lex] You skimp on towelette moisture,
know what you got?
76
00:03:23,329 --> 00:03:24,246
A napkin.
77
00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:26,832
My connecting flight's not for a bit.
I need a room.
78
00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:29,835
Oh! You're a baby.
I thought you worked here.
79
00:03:29,835 --> 00:03:31,587
Nobody works here,
80
00:03:31,587 --> 00:03:33,214
but I am the manager.
81
00:03:33,214 --> 00:03:35,508
- Welcome to Floaties Baby Resort.
- [gasping]
82
00:03:35,508 --> 00:03:40,304
While your arrival at this haven
for talking babies was an accident,
83
00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:44,767
causing your brain to feel like
it dove into a pool of mousetraps,
84
00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:47,770
we hope you'll let our Floaties family
85
00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:49,939
soothe your stresses away,
86
00:03:49,939 --> 00:03:52,066
until life makes sense again.
87
00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:55,903
It's like an office computer
screensaver come to life.
88
00:03:58,155 --> 00:04:00,157
[gasps] This is mine?
89
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:03,035
You are Tina Templeton, yes?
90
00:04:03,035 --> 00:04:07,081
Is that a friendship bracelet?
Yeesh. Give me a nickname first.
91
00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:10,793
Kidding. I have one. It's Tina-Beana.
Bo-Beana if we're besties.
92
00:04:10,793 --> 00:04:12,420
This is your Paradise Key.
93
00:04:12,420 --> 00:04:16,841
It's for access to your cabana,
and is the only payment necessary
94
00:04:16,841 --> 00:04:18,801
for meals or daytime activities.
95
00:04:18,801 --> 00:04:20,553
And nighttime activities?
96
00:04:20,553 --> 00:04:24,640
There are
no nighttime activities at Floaties.
97
00:04:25,266 --> 00:04:27,143
And you are good to float.
98
00:04:27,685 --> 00:04:29,478
Who is this cutie pie?
99
00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:30,730
[Yasa] Bobber the Cub.
100
00:04:30,730 --> 00:04:34,150
Our mascot
and spiritual guide to taking it breezy.
101
00:04:34,150 --> 00:04:37,486
If you're thinking about work,
give Bobber a tap.
102
00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:40,448
He's full of fun ideas
to enjoy at Floaties.
103
00:04:40,448 --> 00:04:43,868
Mm! I love him.
You guys thought of everything.
104
00:04:43,868 --> 00:04:46,704
No, we just thought of you.
105
00:04:49,415 --> 00:04:53,044
Ooh, phone. I should check--
Nope, you're right, Bobber.
106
00:04:53,044 --> 00:04:54,545
I am letting work go.
107
00:04:54,545 --> 00:04:55,796
Any ideas?
108
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,965
[Bobber on watch]
Let's dig holes on the beach.
109
00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:00,718
You dug a hole into my mind, and read it.
110
00:05:06,349 --> 00:05:09,727
- Is this where you're hiding, Precious?
- Who's hiding?
111
00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:14,482
Folks gotta know Mike Tullyhouse better
before they call me Precious.
112
00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:17,276
Sorry, thought you were someone else.
[groans]
113
00:05:17,276 --> 00:05:20,446
[Bobber]
Enjoy an ice-cold tropical formula.
114
00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:24,950
Ah.
115
00:05:25,785 --> 00:05:28,245
Mayonnaise City needs you.
116
00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:29,538
[shrieks]
117
00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:32,833
It's not working.
Relax my worries away harder.
118
00:05:33,417 --> 00:05:37,254
[Bobber] Join a crawling tour
to learn about the local plant life.
119
00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:41,008
And under those very palm trees in 1807,
120
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:46,388
Sticks Stuff in Mouth Baby invented
the idea of eating fistfuls of dirt.
121
00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:47,515
[crowd clamoring]
122
00:05:47,515 --> 00:05:48,974
[shouting]
123
00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:54,105
Look how much love for us fell
because you're not working!
124
00:05:54,105 --> 00:05:57,566
[Bobber] Try relieving your anxiety
by checking in at work.
125
00:05:57,566 --> 00:05:59,527
- Finally.
-I didn't say that.
126
00:05:59,527 --> 00:06:00,986
You pretended I did.
127
00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:02,863
That's enough out of you.
128
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,240
[cell phone ringing]
129
00:06:06,325 --> 00:06:07,201
What's wrong?
130
00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:08,661
New loafers.
131
00:06:08,661 --> 00:06:09,870
So treacherous.
132
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,914
So Italiano.
133
00:06:11,914 --> 00:06:12,957
Are the clients okay?
134
00:06:12,957 --> 00:06:16,001
You want to turn this
into a working vacay?
135
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:17,628
Aw. So proud.
136
00:06:17,628 --> 00:06:18,712
You're like me.
137
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:21,382
I am not. I'm relaxing. I just wanna--
138
00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:25,636
We'll pull an all-nighter. What's a good
fax number to send trend forecasts?
139
00:06:25,636 --> 00:06:27,138
Block this number.
140
00:06:27,805 --> 00:06:31,892
- [Bobber] Care to try a massage?
- No, I am not turning into Boss Baby.
141
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:34,019
Sorry. Massage sounds great.
142
00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:35,479
[cell phone beeps]
143
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:39,108
[Cassandra] Ooh.
The tension is like a jack-in-the-box
144
00:06:39,108 --> 00:06:40,943
inside a jack-in-the-box.
145
00:06:40,943 --> 00:06:43,487
How often do you get to just relax?
146
00:06:43,487 --> 00:06:47,199
Recently? Feels like ne-- [burps] Whoa.
147
00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:50,411
That's normal.
It's a shiatsu burping massage.
148
00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:52,705
The stress comes out like that.
149
00:06:52,705 --> 00:06:54,540
Well, it is working-- [burps]
150
00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:56,917
Sorry, lot of stresses up in-- [burping]
151
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,419
Shh. No words.
152
00:06:58,419 --> 00:07:02,464
Just the sound of troubles escaping
in esophageal eruptions.
153
00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:03,507
[burps]
154
00:07:03,507 --> 00:07:05,676
Sorry, I know I'm talking too-- [burps]
155
00:07:05,676 --> 00:07:08,721
You must be sick
of my complaints about work. [burping]
156
00:07:08,721 --> 00:07:12,141
You haven't
mentioned your job once since we started.
157
00:07:12,141 --> 00:07:13,934
[burps] I haven't?
158
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:17,188
We did it, Bobber.
We're finally letting it out.
159
00:07:17,813 --> 00:07:19,106
[farting]
160
00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:25,654
Also normal.
161
00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:28,365
Now let's have a real vacation.
162
00:07:29,450 --> 00:07:30,784
Off-beat head bobs.
163
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:33,746
Knees bending
like they got licorice inside.
164
00:07:33,746 --> 00:07:35,915
I'm dancing like a baby.
165
00:07:35,915 --> 00:07:39,084
Nothing's gonna make me
worry about work ever again.
166
00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:41,420
Thank you, my play friends.
167
00:07:41,420 --> 00:07:42,463
[gasps]
168
00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:45,007
I have just one more song to play,
169
00:07:45,007 --> 00:07:47,760
a special lullaby for a special baby
170
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,763
who is oh-so-far from home.
171
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:52,806
No.
172
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,642
[Crispin playing "Rock-A-Bye Baby"]
173
00:07:56,227 --> 00:07:57,853
Bye.
174
00:08:02,483 --> 00:08:03,609
[snoring]
175
00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:07,530
- [balloon pops]
- Look out, Tina, Crispin Biscuits is here!
176
00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:11,534
You.
177
00:08:11,534 --> 00:08:14,745
I hope you aren't upset
about the trick I played.
178
00:08:14,745 --> 00:08:17,164
I only wanted you to get some rest.
179
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:20,125
Blah, blah, creepy veiled threats
in a posh accent. I get it.
180
00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:24,380
Tell me your plan, so I can squash it
without wasting our time.
181
00:08:24,380 --> 00:08:27,299
I'm just here as an oh-so-very-good friend
182
00:08:27,299 --> 00:08:31,011
to make sure you have
the baby vacation you deserve.
183
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:33,931
Hey, you two.
Can I see some Paradise Keys?
184
00:08:33,931 --> 00:08:37,184
Got a tip that a musically talented baby
snuck onto the island.
185
00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:41,146
- He's the one you're looking for.
- Sorry, I've been naughty.
186
00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:44,692
And talented, you say?
I mean, I've barely had lessons.
187
00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:48,404
All right, trespasser,
you're on the first flight off the island.
188
00:08:48,404 --> 00:08:50,781
Apologies, Ms. Biscuits.
189
00:08:50,781 --> 00:08:52,992
What? No, he's Biscuits.
190
00:08:52,992 --> 00:08:55,911
- Not what your Paradise Key says.
- What?
191
00:08:55,911 --> 00:08:59,039
My Bobber was drinking a pineapple.
This isn't my wristband.
192
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,874
I am not Crispin Biscuits.
193
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:02,668
Mine says Rick,
194
00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:03,961
and Rick I am.
195
00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:07,006
Your bracelet says Biscuits,
you're Biscuits.
196
00:09:07,006 --> 00:09:09,300
These are the facts of life.
They ground me.
197
00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:10,759
[grunts]
198
00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:13,178
Have just a marvelous holiday,
199
00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:15,431
Crispin Biscuits.
200
00:09:15,431 --> 00:09:19,476
- [bell rings]
- Take this off. It's Crispin Biscuits's.
201
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:20,769
What befell yours?
202
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:22,479
- It was taken off.
- By whom?
203
00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:23,606
Crispin Biscuits.
204
00:09:23,606 --> 00:09:25,399
You, Ms. Crispin Biscuits?
205
00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:27,443
No, I don't miss him. Crispin's a madman.
206
00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:30,112
It's pronounced "madame."
207
00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:32,364
But I understand. We are babies.
208
00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:33,324
Madman.
209
00:09:33,324 --> 00:09:37,745
The Platinum Parental Parenting
Pampering Experience you purchased
210
00:09:37,745 --> 00:09:38,829
kicks in today.
211
00:09:38,829 --> 00:09:42,333
You have impeccable taste,
Madame Biscuits.
212
00:09:42,333 --> 00:09:45,753
- What?
- I'll fetch your activity attendant. Hugo.
213
00:09:45,753 --> 00:09:46,670
- Who?
- Go.
214
00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:47,630
Yes?
215
00:09:47,630 --> 00:09:50,841
Escort Madame Biscuits
to her next activity.
216
00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:52,843
What just happened?
217
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:56,430
Are you talking?
Are you trying to talk to me?
218
00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:58,349
What? Yes, of course, I am.
219
00:09:58,349 --> 00:09:59,808
You don't say.
220
00:09:59,808 --> 00:10:01,560
What? What are you doing?
221
00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:03,979
My job is to provide...
222
00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:10,235
My job is to provide the endless
positive parental reinforcement that comes
223
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:14,573
with the Platinum Parental Parenting
Pampering Experience, Madame Biscuits.
224
00:10:14,573 --> 00:10:17,117
It's weird. And stop calling me--
225
00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:20,204
Listen to me, Hugo.
226
00:10:20,204 --> 00:10:21,497
My name is Tina.
227
00:10:21,497 --> 00:10:22,831
Tina Templeton.
228
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,459
And I can prove it.
229
00:10:26,043 --> 00:10:26,877
Hey there.
230
00:10:26,877 --> 00:10:30,381
Remember me?
Tina Templeton? Yesterday's massage?
231
00:10:30,381 --> 00:10:34,968
Sorry, I'm great with backs,
but terrible with faces, Ms. Biscuits.
232
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:37,388
Ignore the bracelet. It's me, Tina.
233
00:10:37,388 --> 00:10:39,181
I know you remember this.
234
00:10:39,181 --> 00:10:40,557
[farting]
235
00:10:46,105 --> 00:10:49,775
Wow, passed gas
on the massage table is part of the job.
236
00:10:49,775 --> 00:10:52,736
But blowing a swamp kiss
in the middle of a conversation?
237
00:10:52,736 --> 00:10:55,322
That's rude. Good day, Ms. Biscuits.
238
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:56,740
That's not who I am.
239
00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:59,785
Yeah,
she prefers Madame Biscuits or Crispin.
240
00:10:59,785 --> 00:11:02,788
Maybe Criz-Biz.
We haven't tried it, but it's cool.
241
00:11:03,372 --> 00:11:06,041
I liked you better
when you were my pineapple Bobber.
242
00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:09,461
Still gonna give you kissies,
but I'm not gonna mean it as much.
243
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:10,838
[Lex] Hugo.
244
00:11:10,838 --> 00:11:12,047
What it be?
245
00:11:12,047 --> 00:11:14,508
Hey, always good, Mr. Tina.
246
00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:15,759
Always good.
247
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:19,346
- What did you call him?
- You know Mr. Tina Templeton?
248
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,682
This is my Bobber.
249
00:11:21,682 --> 00:11:24,601
This is my wristband. I'm Tina Templeton.
250
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:27,104
- Uh, Hugo?
- Sorry, Mr. Tina.
251
00:11:27,104 --> 00:11:29,648
I am Tina Templeton.
252
00:11:29,648 --> 00:11:33,318
Yeah, we all wish
we were Mr. Tina Templeton sometimes.
253
00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:34,278
My advice?
254
00:11:34,278 --> 00:11:37,781
Chill it down,
and let this baby resort smooth away
255
00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:42,077
all your recent personal
and professional struggles, girlfriend.
256
00:11:42,661 --> 00:11:46,707
[groans] This will be
the worst week of my baby life.
257
00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:49,835
Great, the worse this week is,
think how much better
258
00:11:49,835 --> 00:11:51,628
your three months here will seem.
259
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:52,588
Three months?
260
00:11:52,588 --> 00:11:54,047
Paid in advance.
261
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:58,177
And we appreciate the trust
you've placed in us, Madame Biscuits.
262
00:11:58,177 --> 00:11:59,094
[Tina groans]
263
00:11:59,094 --> 00:12:00,429
Pick up. Pick up.
264
00:12:01,013 --> 00:12:05,184
Teddy, Crispin Biscuits made me into him.
I'm stuck at Floaties while he plans--
265
00:12:05,184 --> 00:12:07,686
[operator] Sorry, your number is blocked.
266
00:12:08,437 --> 00:12:12,524
It's just you and me, beach bum Bobber,
who's not mine, but is winning my heart.
267
00:12:12,524 --> 00:12:16,361
Biscuits thinks he can trap me?
This baby's checking out.
268
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:17,821
Every flight's full?
269
00:12:17,821 --> 00:12:20,991
No, I didn't know the ferry boat
was stolen by pirates.
270
00:12:20,991 --> 00:12:22,743
Do you have their number?
271
00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:25,287
Arr, mateys, I be wondering if--
272
00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:29,124
Hello? Hello?
Front desk? What happened to the pirates?
273
00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:30,667
Forget it, I need your help.
274
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:34,796
No, I won't come by tomorrow.
I am marching over there right now.
275
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:43,055
What kind of baby resort doesn't
have a single night-light? [gasps]
276
00:12:44,181 --> 00:12:46,016
- [baby screaming and crying]
- [gasps]
277
00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:48,435
Hello? Is someone out there?
278
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:52,773
Do you have a ring tone
that sounds like pure terror?
279
00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:53,899
[shrieks]
280
00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:56,902
[crying]
281
00:13:02,241 --> 00:13:04,243
[screams] Zombabies!
282
00:13:04,243 --> 00:13:06,328
Whoa, whoa, not cool.
283
00:13:06,328 --> 00:13:09,373
We prefer the term Night Terror Babies.
284
00:13:09,373 --> 00:13:11,583
Tons of babies get the terrors.
285
00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:15,003
That's why our guests
stay in their rooms at night.
286
00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:16,964
We don't want them getting scared.
287
00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:19,466
- It's not that scary.
- [shrieks]
288
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,093
[bell ringing]
289
00:13:21,093 --> 00:13:24,179
How does paradise find us
this morning, Madame Bisc--?
290
00:13:24,179 --> 00:13:26,598
Nope, I don't care
what my bracelet tells you,
291
00:13:26,598 --> 00:13:29,184
or how long Crispin Biscuits prepaid.
292
00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:32,646
I want off this island
faster than I'd high-five a monkey.
293
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:34,064
If you insist.
294
00:13:36,692 --> 00:13:38,694
Type something that makes a plane come.
295
00:13:38,694 --> 00:13:40,904
- I'm waiting for you to insist.
- I insist.
296
00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:42,364
[speaking Portuguese]
297
00:13:42,364 --> 00:13:44,950
You must really be enjoying yourself.
298
00:13:44,950 --> 00:13:48,495
Remember the message
you sent upon booking with us?
299
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,747
"If I insist to be let off the island,
300
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:54,918
that means I'm scared
of how much figgy-plum fun I'm having."
301
00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:58,630
I didn't write that.
I don't know what figgy-plum fun is.
302
00:13:58,630 --> 00:14:01,383
I was hoping you'd explain,
but continuing your note.
303
00:14:01,383 --> 00:14:04,011
"I might play dumb..." Mm-hm...
304
00:14:04,011 --> 00:14:06,471
"cry, scream, complain, or deflect.
305
00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:10,934
This is how I relax. Ignore me
and let me continue my holiday."
306
00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:15,355
Give me that figgy-plum paper.
I've never used it before, I swear.
307
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,858
As soon as I heard it, I had to try it.
308
00:14:17,858 --> 00:14:18,817
Hugo.
309
00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:23,572
Uh, I don't need a vacation anymore.
All my problems went away. I'm cured.
310
00:14:23,572 --> 00:14:24,865
Let me off this island.
311
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:26,950
May I splish-splash, Crispin?
312
00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:30,120
I'm not Crispin. I'm not Crispin.
313
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:32,831
Menu, Madame Crispin?
314
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:37,044
I'm just saying, your cruise ship
is only a Panama Canal away.
315
00:14:37,044 --> 00:14:40,339
Hands up
into swinging mobile, Ms. Biscuits.
316
00:14:41,173 --> 00:14:42,299
You're not Crispin.
317
00:14:42,299 --> 00:14:43,717
I'm not Crispin.
318
00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:45,260
Let go of the tension
319
00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:47,387
and just let yourself be you, Crispin.
320
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,472
[groans]
321
00:14:48,472 --> 00:14:50,891
Your hot-air balloons
are for recreation only.
322
00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:52,935
If I have fun, will you come get me?
323
00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:55,646
- Hang loose, Crispy B.
- [groans]
324
00:14:55,646 --> 00:14:58,440
I don't care what you say.
I'm not him. He's not me.
325
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,776
Me no be no Crispin Biscuits.
326
00:15:00,776 --> 00:15:01,818
[groans]
327
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:05,155
[all] Hey, Crispin. Hey, Crispin.
328
00:15:05,155 --> 00:15:07,491
Hey, Crispin...
329
00:15:07,491 --> 00:15:10,661
- [phone rings]
- Yes, hi, hi. New Hampshire Pizza?
330
00:15:10,661 --> 00:15:13,080
No, I don't want
your Live Free or Diet Pizza.
331
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,791
I want your help.
My name's Crispin Biscuits.
332
00:15:15,791 --> 00:15:16,833
[gasps]
333
00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:20,170
No!
334
00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:23,048
No, no. I'm not Crispin. I'm Tina.
335
00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:25,300
But Tina wouldn't be mean to pizza people.
336
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:26,385
Crispin's mean.
337
00:15:26,385 --> 00:15:27,469
Yeah, she is.
338
00:15:27,469 --> 00:15:28,470
He is. I am.
339
00:15:28,470 --> 00:15:29,388
You are.
340
00:15:29,388 --> 00:15:32,224
- What is happening to me?
- [baby crying]
341
00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:34,685
Hey, hey.
342
00:15:34,685 --> 00:15:35,936
Careful.
343
00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:39,106
Who's supposed
to be watching out for you? Hey.
344
00:15:40,399 --> 00:15:42,567
Stick with me. I'll protect you.
345
00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:47,364
You and me both.
346
00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:50,867
Where is everyone?
347
00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:53,245
Night terrors again?
348
00:15:53,245 --> 00:15:56,873
It's okay. I kept an eye out for you.
My winking one.
349
00:15:57,457 --> 00:16:00,252
- Whoa!
- Easy. How about I walk you to bed?
350
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,421
Thank you so much.
351
00:16:02,421 --> 00:16:04,464
You were a huge help tonight.
352
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:12,931
Look at you, smiling like
Daddy made pancakes shaped like pandas.
353
00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:15,767
Me? What's got you so grinny-gums?
354
00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:19,438
Answering you with a quiz.
What's Tina's favorite thing to do?
355
00:16:19,438 --> 00:16:21,523
- Pumpkin--
-Besides pumpkin carving.
356
00:16:22,149 --> 00:16:24,109
I really like helping babies. [gasps]
357
00:16:27,237 --> 00:16:30,073
I can build a raft to get off this island.
358
00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:31,992
Whoa! Where did that come from?
359
00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:34,703
This brain runs on caring about others.
360
00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:38,123
Baby, we just
found ourselves a refueling station.
361
00:16:38,123 --> 00:16:40,125
Night Terror Baby.
362
00:16:40,125 --> 00:16:42,753
Helping her makes me feel like myself.
363
00:16:42,753 --> 00:16:45,714
- Other than I'm talking to a puddle.
-And a bracelet.
364
00:16:45,714 --> 00:16:49,009
I did not ask
to get involved in this batch of crazy.
365
00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:50,343
Forget vacation.
366
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,512
You're a baby who fixes things.
367
00:16:53,096 --> 00:16:55,348
And it's time to get to work.
368
00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:59,269
Ms. Biscuits, you are one skilled yogi.
369
00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:02,397
Or did you prefer
Madame Biscuits? I forget.
370
00:17:02,397 --> 00:17:04,524
Whatever you want. Gotta go.
371
00:17:05,734 --> 00:17:09,362
- You think you can fix my night terrors?
- I know I can.
372
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,990
I'll try anything to get a good sleep.
373
00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:16,661
First time I tried pineapple,
I loved it so much, I ate the whole thing.
374
00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:18,288
I had the fruit sugies so bad,
375
00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:20,999
I spent nap time
teaching myself to juggle.
376
00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:22,918
Oh, wow.
377
00:17:22,918 --> 00:17:26,838
Yeah. We don't get this much
fresh fruit at Baby Corp Alaska.
378
00:17:26,838 --> 00:17:30,050
That has to be it, then.
Night terrors cured.
379
00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:33,804
- [crying]
- Well, it's not the sugies.
380
00:17:33,804 --> 00:17:37,349
I'll keep an eye on you
while I gather sticks for my raft.
381
00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:42,437
If the marks on my legs
are from my diaper being too tight,
382
00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:44,731
that's causing the night terrors?
383
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,733
That is the only thing it could be.
384
00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:48,318
[baby crying]
385
00:17:49,528 --> 00:17:52,531
Hmm. Looser diaper ain't helping.
386
00:17:52,531 --> 00:17:54,574
We may have overcorrected.
387
00:17:56,326 --> 00:17:59,955
Don't worry,
I won't raft away until I figure this out.
388
00:17:59,955 --> 00:18:01,373
Careful, that's hot.
389
00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:02,999
[gasps]
390
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:05,252
Sunblock?
391
00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:08,171
You get overheated all day,
then can't sleep at night.
392
00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:09,714
It just makes sense.
393
00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:12,384
- [crying]
- Come on. What could it be?
394
00:18:12,384 --> 00:18:16,054
Whoa, someone's watch is on Alaska time.
395
00:18:16,054 --> 00:18:17,180
That's it.
396
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:18,682
She's jet-lagged.
397
00:18:18,682 --> 00:18:20,142
You're jet-lagged.
398
00:18:20,851 --> 00:18:25,147
Can you cancel this one's wake-up call
and schedule an extra nap?
399
00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:26,898
You got it.
400
00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:30,986
Your friend did not show, Madame Biscuits.
401
00:18:30,986 --> 00:18:34,531
I don't even care what you call me,
because that is great news.
402
00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:36,074
Ah.
403
00:18:44,416 --> 00:18:45,333
We did it.
404
00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:46,334
[baby] Yeah, we did.
405
00:18:47,252 --> 00:18:50,088
Why are you awake?
Shouldn't you be sleeping peacefully?
406
00:18:50,088 --> 00:18:52,174
Oh. My turn to wipe down the beach chairs.
407
00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:55,719
You'd think after staying up late,
pretending to have night terrors,
408
00:18:55,719 --> 00:18:58,013
management would
give me time off, but nope.
409
00:18:58,013 --> 00:18:59,222
Pretending?
410
00:18:59,222 --> 00:19:03,226
Smart thinking on the time change.
Was I too obvious when I mentioned Alaska?
411
00:19:03,226 --> 00:19:05,478
I thought about winking,
but you caught it.
412
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:06,980
This was all fake?
413
00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:09,900
I prefer to call it a faithful simulation.
414
00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:14,738
I did research for this role.
Took me weeks to get the shrieks right.
415
00:19:14,738 --> 00:19:15,906
[shrieks]
416
00:19:15,906 --> 00:19:17,616
Wait, that sounded off.
417
00:19:17,616 --> 00:19:20,702
But I'm a baby who fixes things.
418
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:26,541
Hope you got your money's worth
on our Help a Troubled Baby add-on.
419
00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:28,001
If you'd like another round,
420
00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:32,631
I was thinking I'd pretend to fear
sentences that end in a question mark?
421
00:19:32,631 --> 00:19:36,635
You were built on a lie, Rafty.
I'm never getting off this island.
422
00:19:36,635 --> 00:19:39,221
We'll be play friends forever.
423
00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:40,430
[screams]
424
00:19:41,473 --> 00:19:44,309
I'm Crispin Biscuits.
425
00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:47,312
[baby] Yes, you are Crispin Biscuits.
426
00:19:47,312 --> 00:19:50,815
Been a long night?
Let's get you back, Ms. Biscuits.
427
00:19:50,815 --> 00:19:54,945
Biscuits. Biscuits.
428
00:19:54,945 --> 00:19:56,571
An excellent choice.
429
00:19:56,571 --> 00:19:57,864
Biscuits.
430
00:19:57,864 --> 00:20:01,743
Voilà. What will madame
wash the biscuits down with?
431
00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:03,036
[speaking French]
432
00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:04,412
Juice of the apple?
433
00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:05,705
Biscuits.
434
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:06,665
Uh...
435
00:20:06,665 --> 00:20:09,709
If Madame Biscuits
wants to drink biscuits,
436
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:13,546
then biscuits are what
Madame Biscuits gets with her biscuits.
437
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,799
Biscuits.
438
00:20:15,799 --> 00:20:17,175
But of course.
439
00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:20,720
Biscuits.
440
00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:26,142
Biscuits. Biscuits.
441
00:20:26,142 --> 00:20:30,563
I apologize, but the biscuits sont finis.
There are no more.
442
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:33,692
So if I may trouble you for payment?
443
00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:36,403
Biscuits.
444
00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:38,154
And, boop, there we go.
445
00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:42,534
Whoa. I want you
to have an amazing time here at Floaties.
446
00:20:42,534 --> 00:20:45,287
- But you can't keep spending like this.
- Biscuits?
447
00:20:45,287 --> 00:20:48,540
Yeah, it's wild,
there's a food named after you,
448
00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:52,335
but I don't want you running out of money
before you run out of vacation.
449
00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:58,758
Money!
450
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:02,178
Yes, tell me more
about the Live Free or Diet Pizza
451
00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:04,889
on this expensive international call.
452
00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:07,058
Have any shades that cost more?
453
00:21:07,058 --> 00:21:10,228
Ooh! Bring them here, and start feeding.
454
00:21:10,228 --> 00:21:12,355
That will cost extra, madame.
455
00:21:12,355 --> 00:21:15,775
I sure hope so.
And give yourself a nice juicy tip.
456
00:21:16,818 --> 00:21:19,821
New Hampshire Pizza, you cool by me.
457
00:21:19,821 --> 00:21:21,406
I cool by you?
458
00:21:21,406 --> 00:21:22,324
That's cool.
459
00:21:22,324 --> 00:21:24,409
Madame Biscuits, I warned you.
460
00:21:24,409 --> 00:21:27,370
I am afraid
you must leave Floaties at once.
461
00:21:27,370 --> 00:21:30,915
Your account's funds are depleted.
Beyond depleted.
462
00:21:30,915 --> 00:21:33,251
You now owe us a large sum of money.
463
00:21:33,251 --> 00:21:35,295
Send in your debt collectors.
464
00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:40,216
Big scary types with names like
Cyclone Saint Macaroni and Basement.
465
00:21:40,216 --> 00:21:43,303
You have an address
for me, Crispin Biscuits?
466
00:21:43,303 --> 00:21:46,139
That busy workaday world tries to tell you
467
00:21:46,139 --> 00:21:50,226
you should be this, shouldn't do that,
and I got so mixed up.
468
00:21:50,226 --> 00:21:53,396
I didn't know what I was looking for
when I came to Floaties,
469
00:21:53,396 --> 00:21:55,774
but what I found was me.
470
00:21:55,774 --> 00:21:57,317
I make my own life.
471
00:21:57,317 --> 00:21:59,903
Because I am Tina Templeton.
472
00:21:59,903 --> 00:22:01,196
Nope, that's me.
473
00:22:01,196 --> 00:22:03,698
- Wait. Then who am I?
- [cell phone buzzes]
474
00:22:03,698 --> 00:22:07,869
Hello? Messy Wings Johnson.
You old bird dog.
475
00:22:07,869 --> 00:22:10,121
How many moist towelettes today?
476
00:22:10,121 --> 00:22:11,998
[Crispin] Of course I'm still here.
477
00:22:11,998 --> 00:22:14,918
I'm known for my tenacity and patience,
478
00:22:14,918 --> 00:22:16,086
even on hold.
479
00:22:16,086 --> 00:22:18,797
Is the grappling hook
still available in crimson?
480
00:22:18,797 --> 00:22:21,508
What do you mean, my credit was declined?
481
00:22:31,017 --> 00:22:35,563
"Reclaiming property
due to credit overdrafts at Floaties"?
482
00:22:37,607 --> 00:22:39,901
Good game, play friend.
483
00:22:39,901 --> 00:22:41,319
My turnsies.
484
00:22:43,404 --> 00:22:44,739
[theme music playing]
485
00:22:47,617 --> 00:22:48,660
♪ Boss Baby ♪
486
00:22:49,994 --> 00:22:51,037
♪ Boss Baby ♪
487
00:22:52,247 --> 00:22:53,289
♪ Boss Baby ♪
488
00:22:56,793 --> 00:22:59,003
♪ Boss Baby
Tell 'em who this is ♪
489
00:22:59,003 --> 00:23:01,673
♪ Boss Baby
I'm a legend, mythic ♪
490
00:23:01,673 --> 00:23:04,384
♪ Y'all heard the story
But you know what the twist is? ♪
491
00:23:04,384 --> 00:23:07,220
♪ Welcome to the family business
Boss Baby ♪