1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.BZ 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ 3 00:00:25,067 --> 00:00:26,526 Breaking news. 4 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:29,237 Actor Jason Biggs of American Pie fame was found dead 5 00:00:29,238 --> 00:00:31,030 in his Wind River home. 6 00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,199 The event brings this year's celebrity death toll 7 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:36,327 to 27 after Pope Francis's heart explosion last week. 8 00:00:36,328 --> 00:00:37,704 His estate wants 9 00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:40,415 to remind the world that Jason Biggs was a good guy 10 00:00:40,416 --> 00:00:41,708 and we should all be very, 11 00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:43,084 very sad. 12 00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:45,128 Authorities aren't ruling out foul play. 13 00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:00,269 Ah. 14 00:01:06,776 --> 00:01:08,735 Get fucked, Biggs! 15 00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:16,493 ♪ I heard I heard the old man say ♪ 16 00:01:16,494 --> 00:01:19,329 ♪ John Kanaka-naka too-rye-ay ♪ 17 00:01:19,330 --> 00:01:22,999 ♪ Today, today's a holiday ♪ 18 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:26,211 ♪ John Kanaka-naka too-rye-ay ♪ 19 00:01:26,212 --> 00:01:28,797 ♪ Too-rye-ay ♪ 20 00:01:28,798 --> 00:01:31,216 ♪ Whoa oh ♪ 21 00:01:31,217 --> 00:01:36,012 ♪ Too-rye-ay ♪ 22 00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:38,515 ♪ John Kanaka-naka too-rye-ay ♪ 23 00:01:57,368 --> 00:02:00,161 ♪ We'll work tomorrow but not today ♪ 24 00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:02,205 ♪ John Kanaka-naka too-rye-ay ♪ 25 00:02:02,206 --> 00:02:04,958 ♪ We'll work tomorrow but not today ♪ 26 00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:07,252 ♪ John Kanaka-naka too-rye-ay ♪ 27 00:02:07,253 --> 00:02:09,128 ♪ Too-rye-ay ♪ 28 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,964 ♪ Whoa oh ♪ 29 00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:13,467 ♪ Too-rye-ay ♪ 30 00:02:14,510 --> 00:02:16,761 ♪ John Kanaka-naka too-rye-ay ♪ 31 00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:19,264 ♪ We're bound away for Frisco Bay ♪ 32 00:02:19,265 --> 00:02:21,599 ♪ John Kanaka-naka too-rye-ay ♪ 33 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,269 ♪ We're bound away at the break of day ♪ 34 00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:26,604 ♪ John Kanaka-naka too-rye-ay ♪ 35 00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:28,648 ♪ Too-rye-ay ♪ 36 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,400 ♪ Whoa oh ♪ 37 00:02:30,401 --> 00:02:34,195 ♪ Too-rye-ay ♪ 38 00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:36,156 ♪ John Kanaka-naka too-rye-ay ♪ 39 00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:15,696 So, 35? Do we have a deal? 40 00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:19,198 Okay. You got me. 41 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,491 Twenty-five. 42 00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:21,701 You drive a hard bargain. 43 00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,786 Luke, how much for this? 44 00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:25,663 Oh. For you, Jake, 45 00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:26,956 absolutely free. 46 00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:28,042 Take it. It's yours. 47 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,920 - No kidding? - No kidding. 48 00:03:31,921 --> 00:03:35,673 You know, a toaster like this would probably get you $27. 49 00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:36,842 I doubt that. 50 00:03:38,636 --> 00:03:40,304 It's a very nice thing. Uh... 51 00:03:41,639 --> 00:03:44,223 I think I'll put it on my desk next to my computer. 52 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:49,854 I came by to-- to give you a little going away advice. 53 00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:53,524 You need to change the password on your Wi-Fi 54 00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:56,527 and the majority of your streaming accounts. 55 00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:58,947 - What do you mean? - Type in some extra numbers 56 00:03:58,948 --> 00:04:02,033 or some big letters. Those go a long way. 57 00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:04,744 Jake, are you saying you've been using my Wi-Fi? 58 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,287 Is that why Google keeps recommending 59 00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:08,247 - different ketamine clinics? - I'm just saying 60 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,875 I don't want people in your new building 61 00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:13,252 to take advantage of you the way... 62 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:16,339 some people might have been taking advantage of you here. 63 00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:17,382 Thanks, Jake. 64 00:04:17,383 --> 00:04:19,884 You're a good guy, Luke. 65 00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:20,885 You deserve better. 66 00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:21,887 Okay. 67 00:04:23,389 --> 00:04:24,390 Oh, hey, Janet. 68 00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:26,891 Respectfully, Janet, I really think 69 00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:28,184 that we should just try it my way. 70 00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:30,311 We're really going miss you around here, Luke, 71 00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:32,689 and not just your Wi-Fi and your streaming services. 72 00:04:32,690 --> 00:04:34,190 You're like family. 73 00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:35,942 Were my passwords that easy to figure out? 74 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:37,694 Uh, where you headed now? 75 00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:39,195 Ottawa, Canada. Watch your finger. 76 00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:43,700 Ottawa. Uh, you got family up there or something? 77 00:04:43,701 --> 00:04:46,285 No. No. The only family I have left is an older brother, 78 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,162 but I haven't heard from him in years. 79 00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:50,289 In fact, I actually don't even know if he's dead or alive. 80 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,708 Oh, well, that's dreadful, 81 00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:56,129 because, uh, family is the most important thing there is. 82 00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:59,591 Family sticks together, no matter what. 83 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,593 Uh. What was that? 84 00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:03,720 What was what? 85 00:05:03,721 --> 00:05:06,514 The random family sentiment you just read out loud, 86 00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:08,099 what was that about? 87 00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:11,060 Uh, I gotta go. 88 00:05:12,104 --> 00:05:13,730 Clinton... 89 00:05:13,731 --> 00:05:15,481 How much you want for this? 90 00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:16,858 It's beautiful. 91 00:05:16,859 --> 00:05:19,193 What the hell? This isn't mine. 92 00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:20,611 - Who put this here? - You did. 93 00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:22,530 No. Why would I have a painting 94 00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:24,699 of the pope eating tacos with Big Foot? 95 00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,576 I mean, I'm basically Jewish, for Christ's sake. 96 00:05:26,577 --> 00:05:27,745 That's a lie. 97 00:05:28,746 --> 00:05:30,079 I've seen his penis. 98 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,915 The man you know as Luke is not circumcised. 99 00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:35,918 Quite the opposite. He possesses a generous amount of foreskin, 100 00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:38,212 making his dick look like the head of a baby elephant. 101 00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:40,466 What? Who-- Who are you? What is happening? 102 00:05:48,724 --> 00:05:49,767 Geez Louise. 103 00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:52,269 Ow! 104 00:05:55,981 --> 00:05:57,106 Danny! 105 00:05:57,107 --> 00:05:58,274 - Bring it in. - Danny! 106 00:05:58,275 --> 00:06:00,151 - Huh? Ow! Ow! Ow! - Oh, oh God, God, God! 107 00:06:00,152 --> 00:06:02,070 I'm sorry! I'm sorry! What happened? Are you okay? 108 00:06:02,071 --> 00:06:03,154 Yeah, it's nothing, really. 109 00:06:03,155 --> 00:06:04,363 You should've seen the other guy. 110 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,740 - Yeah? - Oh, yeah. 111 00:06:05,741 --> 00:06:08,034 He was driving the sickest Mercedes when he plowed into me. 112 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,702 Okay. That looks really bad. 113 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:12,622 Oh, and that painting is from me. Hmm? 114 00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:15,041 - Oh! - You like it? 115 00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:16,209 Yeah, man. 116 00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,710 One more hug? Soft? 117 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,003 Wow, man. 118 00:06:29,765 --> 00:06:31,390 Mmm. 119 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,392 Mm. 120 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:37,772 So, how's life living off-grid all this time? 121 00:06:37,773 --> 00:06:40,441 It's fine, until the grid got bigger. 122 00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:41,692 After a while, it became like 123 00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:43,528 one of Todd Simmons's famous nosebleeds. 124 00:06:43,529 --> 00:06:45,280 Yeah. 125 00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:47,281 Wait. Who's-- 126 00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:48,699 So, what's with the moving sale? 127 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:49,700 You moving somewhere? 128 00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:51,452 Ah, very perceptive of you. 129 00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:52,495 Yeah. Yeah. No. 130 00:06:52,496 --> 00:06:55,289 I'm, uh, heading up to Ottawa, Canada. 131 00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:57,125 Ottawa? What do you got a girlfriend up there 132 00:06:57,126 --> 00:06:58,626 - or something? - No. 133 00:06:58,627 --> 00:06:59,877 - Yeah, you do. - No. 134 00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:03,089 You have a girlfriend in Canada. Eh-eh. 135 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,590 - I wish. No. - Yeah. You gotta go all 136 00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:07,176 the way up there to get laid, because you can't get laid here. 137 00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:08,553 - Danny, Danny, no. - Sorry. 138 00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:11,681 No. I-- I am driving up today 139 00:07:11,682 --> 00:07:14,351 to start at the new paleontology research center. 140 00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:17,520 What, today, today? 141 00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:18,646 Yeah. 142 00:07:18,647 --> 00:07:20,815 - You can't leave today. - Why not? 143 00:07:20,816 --> 00:07:23,025 Well, because I'm here now. I want to hang out. 144 00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:24,360 Yeah, but I-- I start on Monday. 145 00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:27,280 Ah, fuck muffin. 146 00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:30,366 I was really hoping to spend some time together 147 00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:32,870 before I start my new job in Tucson next week. 148 00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:48,676 Hey, man. Why don't you come with me? 149 00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:49,719 - Really? - Yeah. 150 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:51,637 - You wouldn't mind? - No. I-- I-- 151 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,306 I've wanted to spend time with you, too. 152 00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:55,766 Wow. I'm impressed, Luke. 153 00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:58,144 You really do have faith in your fellow man. 154 00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:00,563 It's like Todd Simmons said, 155 00:08:00,564 --> 00:08:02,648 "Faith is all about taking that initial step 156 00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,275 without first checking for scorpions." 157 00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:05,277 Yeah. 158 00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:08,279 Who is this Todd Simmons guy? 159 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:19,207 So, tell me about the job in Ottawa, huh? 160 00:08:19,208 --> 00:08:21,417 - You happy with it? - Oh, beyond happy, man. 161 00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,002 It's like, for the first time in my life, 162 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:25,004 everything's finally making sense, you know? 163 00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,088 And that's a good thing? 164 00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:27,924 Yeah, of course it is. 165 00:08:27,925 --> 00:08:29,967 I get to go on real digs with real paleontologists, 166 00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:32,011 and you know what we're doing on my very first day? 167 00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,055 - How would I know that? - We're gonna go to a dig site 168 00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:35,932 where they've already found a brand-new species 169 00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:37,391 of cretaceous-era theropod, 170 00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:39,685 and they've already given her a name, too: Snommisddot. 171 00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:40,811 - Snommisddot. - Yeah. 172 00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:42,521 Apparently, she's massive. 173 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,941 And her femur bone 174 00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:47,109 is exactly five foot, 10 and a half inches long, 175 00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:49,320 which is my precise height, 176 00:08:49,321 --> 00:08:51,197 which is weird and neat, right? 177 00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:53,824 Yeah. I'm just happy you're happy. 178 00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:55,618 - Yeah. - Just don't freak out 179 00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:57,703 when you learn what actually killed the dinosaurs. 180 00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:59,623 What do you mean? 181 00:09:00,749 --> 00:09:03,542 No. Uh, it's too soon. 182 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,962 I'm sorry. I'm just going to shut up now, okay? 183 00:09:05,963 --> 00:09:07,380 No. No. 184 00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:10,007 What do you think killed the dinosaurs, Danny? 185 00:09:10,008 --> 00:09:11,759 Well, it wasn't a fucking meteor. 186 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:12,803 I'll tell you that. 187 00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:19,393 What? 188 00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:21,978 Just so you know, 189 00:09:21,979 --> 00:09:24,772 I-- I don't actually care that-- that you believe 190 00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:26,607 in all this conspiracy theory stuff. 191 00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:28,609 It honestly doesn't even bother me. 192 00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,319 Conspiracy theory stuff? 193 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:33,322 Just so you know, all science is theory until proven otherwise. 194 00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:35,157 Did you know that Galileo was once considered 195 00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:37,576 - a conspiracy theorist? - Okay, but just so you know, 196 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:40,871 even if, somehow, one of your crazy conspiracy theories 197 00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:42,999 just happened to be proven true, nobody would believe you, 198 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,333 because you think everything is part 199 00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:45,626 of some massive conspiracy theory. 200 00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:47,378 So you'd basically just be the boy who cried wolf. 201 00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:49,046 Oh, just so you know, the boy who cried wolf 202 00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:50,798 - is a personal hero of mine. - Of course he is. 203 00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:52,633 No. Think about it. He tricked his entire town 204 00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:54,176 into thinking that a wolf was coming, 205 00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:55,803 so by the end, when the wolf actually came, 206 00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:58,973 he had him all to himself, and who doesn't want a little wolf? 207 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:08,816 This just in. 208 00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:11,652 Jason Biggs's death has been officially ruled a homicide. 209 00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:13,029 The suspect is said to-- 210 00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:14,655 ...bloody, grisly murder scene. 211 00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:15,781 We should all be 212 00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,366 very sad, according to his estate. 213 00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:25,292 So, tell me about this job in Tucson. 214 00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:30,004 Oh, yeah. I'm-- I'm really excited about it. 215 00:10:30,005 --> 00:10:32,173 Is it, like, a-- an office job or... 216 00:10:32,174 --> 00:10:34,508 The day I set foot in an office is the day I die. 217 00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:37,094 Yeah. So, what is it? 218 00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:38,929 Oh, I can't say. I-- I signed an NDA. 219 00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:40,056 Oh, with who? 220 00:10:40,057 --> 00:10:41,432 Can't say that, either. 221 00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:43,517 Well, can you tell me anything about it? 222 00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:45,227 Let me think. No. 223 00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:46,896 Well, come on. You're not being chased 224 00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:48,647 by a bounty hunter or something, are you? 225 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,024 Jesus, Luke! 226 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,235 I'm not that guy anymore. 227 00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:55,488 - Alright. Sorry. - Sure, at one point, 228 00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:57,865 I was a little off my rocker. Sure, at one point, 229 00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,158 I ran for sheriff of Daytona 230 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,493 under the name Deacon Shrimp. 231 00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:02,745 Sure, at one point, I scammed the Portuguese mafia 232 00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:04,663 out of 1,000 fluid ounces of Taiwanese ketamine. 233 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,040 - What? - But I also know 234 00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:07,958 I haven't been the best big brother to you. 235 00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:10,169 I left you all alone in that hell hole, 236 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,171 took out multiple houseboat loans in your name. 237 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,256 - That was you? - But I'm a changed man now 238 00:11:14,257 --> 00:11:17,051 who's trying to get his life back on track, 239 00:11:17,052 --> 00:11:19,763 and... I need you to believe that. 240 00:11:21,098 --> 00:11:23,182 Uh... yeah. Alright. 241 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,475 Thank you. 242 00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:25,893 I have no reason to lie to you, man. 243 00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:28,479 Literally not one. Knock on wood. 244 00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:33,067 Sheriff's Department! 245 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:51,794 Hey. Oh, yeah. He's been here. 246 00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:53,921 Looks like his brother's helping him after all. 247 00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:55,297 We're going to need 248 00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:57,550 an additional 277 on Luke Davenport, 249 00:11:57,551 --> 00:12:00,010 accomplice to wanted felon Daniel Davenport. 250 00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:09,728 ♪ Tri martolod so young ♪ 251 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:13,899 ♪ Tra-la-la la-la-la-la ♪ 252 00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:17,278 ♪ Tri martolod so young ♪ 253 00:12:17,279 --> 00:12:21,740 ♪ They sailed away to sea ♪ 254 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:24,952 ♪ Tri martolod so young ♪ 255 00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:29,165 ♪ Tra-la-la la-la-la-la ♪ 256 00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:32,835 ♪ Tri martolod so young ♪ 257 00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:37,840 ♪ They set sail from Brittany ♪ 258 00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:39,925 ♪ Tri martolod so young ♪ 259 00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,886 ♪ Tra-la-la la-la-la-la ♪ 260 00:12:41,887 --> 00:12:44,221 ♪ Tri martolod so young ♪ 261 00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:46,015 ♪ They sailed away to sea ♪ 262 00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:48,309 ♪ Tri martolod so young ♪ 263 00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:50,144 ♪ Tra-la-la la-la-la-la ♪ 264 00:12:50,145 --> 00:12:52,354 ♪ Tri martolod so young ♪ 265 00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:54,773 ♪ They set sail from Brittany ♪ 266 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,859 ♪ A storm began as they set sail ♪ 267 00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:59,028 ♪ The waves swelled high around them ♪ 268 00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:00,946 ♪ The winds were strong, the journey long ♪ 269 00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:02,490 ♪ They landed in Newfoundland ♪ 270 00:13:02,491 --> 00:13:04,158 ...coincidence 271 00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:05,451 that it was around the same time 272 00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:07,453 Bill Gates had Princess Di assassinated, 273 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:08,871 and that's the fourth reason why 274 00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:10,624 one should never trust the Portuguese. 275 00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:14,502 - What? - Nothing. 276 00:13:14,503 --> 00:13:16,086 No. Seriously, man, what? 277 00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:18,339 No. It's... It's nothing. Never mind. 278 00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:19,340 I know that look. 279 00:13:19,341 --> 00:13:21,800 You're contemplating whether or not I'm back on my meds, huh? 280 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:22,885 What? How is that a look? 281 00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:24,929 Well, I am, okay? 282 00:13:24,930 --> 00:13:27,348 I mean, do I look like Todd Simmons on a Spanish holiday? 283 00:13:27,349 --> 00:13:29,350 Who the fuck is Todd Simmons? 284 00:13:29,351 --> 00:13:31,353 I swear you have nothing to worry... 285 00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:37,983 - What? What is it? - Nothing. It's nothing. 286 00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:40,277 Uh, I'm just going to go see if Old Man Waters 287 00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:41,946 still lives over there. I'll be right back. 288 00:13:41,947 --> 00:13:44,031 Old Man Waters? It's clearly made up! 289 00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:45,658 And it's my turn to drive! 290 00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:08,138 What the... 291 00:14:08,139 --> 00:14:10,266 Hands on the steering wheel, now. 292 00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:11,934 Oh, dear. 293 00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:13,644 I gotta hand it to you. 294 00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:16,105 I thought I lost you back in Wind River. 295 00:14:16,106 --> 00:14:18,524 You banged me up good. 296 00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:19,858 I don't want your fucking money! 297 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,110 Hands on the wheel! Do it now! 298 00:14:21,111 --> 00:14:22,278 Oh, dear. 299 00:14:22,279 --> 00:14:24,738 Does this mean anything to you? Huh? 300 00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:27,157 It's a Taco Gary's taco, 301 00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:29,368 as in the TG truce of '21? 302 00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,537 Who's Taco Jerry? 303 00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:32,955 It's Taco Gary! 304 00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:34,790 This is a Mercedes, right? 305 00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:37,543 I don't know. I don't know! 306 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,211 It's my husband's car! 307 00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:42,215 He was using the restroom. 308 00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:44,759 Oh. 309 00:15:00,358 --> 00:15:02,192 God damn it! 310 00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:03,986 I'm truly sorry for mistaking you 311 00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:05,487 for a member of the Coalition. 312 00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,282 It was an honest mistake. 313 00:15:09,326 --> 00:15:11,202 I'm assuming you have the child lock on. 314 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,121 Thank you, ma'am. 315 00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:15,582 You have a lovely day. 316 00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:31,347 Shit! Shit! Shit! 317 00:15:32,349 --> 00:15:33,350 Fuck! 318 00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:39,313 You okay? 319 00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:42,441 Not really, man. I saw it. 320 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,068 Fuck. Okay. Yeah. 321 00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:45,611 Putting a hunting knife to a grandmother's throat 322 00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:46,820 looks really bad on paper, 323 00:15:46,821 --> 00:15:48,280 but technically that was in self-defense. 324 00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:50,949 What? No. I'm talking about these. 325 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,868 Fucking M&M's, man. 326 00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:54,536 Oh, yeah. Me, too. 327 00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:56,705 You're lying to me, Danny, again. 328 00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:59,291 Relax, Luke! They're just anti-psychotics. 329 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,377 - Nothing bad's gonna happen-- - Not yet, 330 00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:03,879 but I refuse to be the idiot in the horror movie 331 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:06,965 who sees all the dead animals and the ghost children, 332 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,300 yet doesn't get out. 333 00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:10,344 I-- I feel like I'm being set up for disaster. 334 00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:12,888 If you would like me to take the regular pills that work, 335 00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:15,140 I will, okay? Pinky swear. 336 00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,517 I love you, Danny. I do, 337 00:16:16,518 --> 00:16:18,143 but I am in a new chapter in my life, 338 00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,270 and I don't have time to accommodate you and your... 339 00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:22,231 Wait. What did you do to some grandma? 340 00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:23,650 Nothing. It's a metaphor. 341 00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:26,986 Where's my phone? 342 00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:29,906 You promise you won't get angry? 343 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,449 - Oh, God. - Look. 344 00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:34,993 For your own safety and for reasons I can't disclose yet, 345 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:37,037 I had to dispose of your phone 346 00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:38,789 via toilet at the gas station. 347 00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:40,708 - Pull over. - Why? We just stopped. 348 00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:42,167 Pull over! 349 00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:44,503 Christ! Calm down! 350 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:46,047 What is happening right now? 351 00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:49,718 Where you going? 352 00:16:51,386 --> 00:16:53,638 - Get-- - Damn it! What the fuck? 353 00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:58,642 Shit. Just wait! Just wait! 354 00:16:58,643 --> 00:17:00,018 No! It's over! 355 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,395 You're not going to talk me out of it! 356 00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:03,522 I know! I know. 357 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:04,606 I understand. 358 00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:06,233 Look. I'm sorry! 359 00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:08,569 You know I hate taking that shit! 360 00:17:08,570 --> 00:17:11,447 It makes me feel too... not me! 361 00:17:11,448 --> 00:17:13,907 - Things make too much sense! - That's a bad thing? 362 00:17:13,908 --> 00:17:15,325 Can you just get out of the car 363 00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:17,035 so I can give you a proper hug goodbye? 364 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,913 - No! - I'll leave. I promise. 365 00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:22,458 It just might be a really long time before I see you again. 366 00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:24,626 Just come out and give me one last hug, 367 00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:25,795 and then I'm gone, okay? 368 00:17:27,172 --> 00:17:28,214 Please? 369 00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:33,928 Thank you. 370 00:17:37,849 --> 00:17:38,932 I love you, man. 371 00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:40,601 Love you, too. What-- 372 00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:42,227 Ah! What the fuck was that? 373 00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:45,063 I-- I know. I'm sorry. It's for your own good. 374 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,190 - Trust me. - Don't! 375 00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:48,442 Trust me! You're okay. 376 00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:51,069 Alright. That's it. 377 00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:54,199 You're okay. 378 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,369 Goodnight, sweet prince. 379 00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:03,248 Ah. They never show this part in the movies. 380 00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,418 How hard could it be? 381 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:43,372 There's Mr. Sleepy Head. 382 00:18:43,373 --> 00:18:45,707 Wha... 383 00:18:45,708 --> 00:18:46,959 What happened? Where are we? 384 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,502 What? You don't remember? 385 00:18:48,503 --> 00:18:50,587 Makes sense. You were pretty damn drunk. 386 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,967 No. I-- I remember I-- 387 00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:57,386 I couldn't find my phone, and-- 388 00:18:57,387 --> 00:19:00,723 and then we-- we got in an argument and... 389 00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:07,688 Holy shit. You... You... 390 00:19:07,689 --> 00:19:09,731 Okay. Fine. I injected you with some ketamine, 391 00:19:09,732 --> 00:19:11,275 but you were having a temper tantrum. 392 00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:12,860 Oh, you're out of your mind. 393 00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:14,320 You're-- You're-- Oh, God. 394 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,161 There's Mr. Sleepy Head. 395 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,163 - God damn it! - I know. 396 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,207 This hurts me just as much as it hurts you. 397 00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:28,960 Why are you doing this to me? 398 00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:32,671 I haven't been completely honest with you. 399 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:34,256 I kind of stumbled into some trouble, 400 00:19:34,257 --> 00:19:36,300 and I sort of need to-- How do I say this? 401 00:19:36,301 --> 00:19:37,843 Flee the country, so when I found out 402 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,761 you were going to Canada, I thought it was meant to be, 403 00:19:39,762 --> 00:19:41,471 - you know, like fate. - What did you do? 404 00:19:41,472 --> 00:19:42,639 Nothing. 405 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:45,183 I simply took something from someone deemed important. 406 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:46,393 Give it back! 407 00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:48,645 No! The world needs to see this, 408 00:19:48,646 --> 00:19:50,564 - and I need your help. - No! 409 00:19:50,565 --> 00:19:52,900 Come on, Luke. You're family! 410 00:19:52,901 --> 00:19:55,611 And you know family is the most important thing of all. 411 00:19:55,612 --> 00:19:59,323 Family sticks together, no matter what. 412 00:19:59,324 --> 00:20:01,450 You paid my neighbor to say that, didn't you? 413 00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:03,035 Look. It's not my fault your neighbor didn't take 414 00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:04,870 the extra five minutes to memorize his fucking lines! 415 00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:07,289 Look. Whatever, it doesn't matter. The fact is, 416 00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:09,875 I love you, and you're the only one that I can truly trust. 417 00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:11,084 And you have a valid passport, 418 00:20:11,085 --> 00:20:12,502 and we kinda look like each other. 419 00:20:12,503 --> 00:20:14,212 Oh, I can't believe I fell for this. 420 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:17,966 No! No! No, no, no! Help! 421 00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:19,217 Come here, you little rascal. 422 00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,886 Help me! Help! 423 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:22,930 Stop doing that! 424 00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:25,724 Look. I'm begging you, man. I need your help, 425 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,684 and I need to borrow your identity one last time. 426 00:20:27,685 --> 00:20:29,561 Just try to see the forest through the trees. 427 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,605 It's "for the trees," you idiot, 428 00:20:31,606 --> 00:20:33,857 and the answer is no! 429 00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:36,902 I am not gonna risk my chance at happiness for you. 430 00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,820 The thing is, Luke, 431 00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:41,490 I don't think you have any other options. 432 00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:43,909 Of course I do. I'll-- I'll just suck it up and fly there. 433 00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:46,078 Truck's worthless anyway, and all my important stuff 434 00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:47,162 is already at my new place. 435 00:20:47,163 --> 00:20:48,413 Yeah, but you can't book a flight 436 00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:50,248 without your phone and your wallet. 437 00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:53,044 God damn it! Where is my wallet, Danny? 438 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:57,714 It's in safe hands. You'll get it once we cross the border. 439 00:20:57,715 --> 00:20:58,757 I know that look. 440 00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,175 You wanna cause me physical harm, 441 00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:02,135 but right now, I'm your best and only option. 442 00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:04,513 You'll still get there on time. I promise. 443 00:21:04,514 --> 00:21:05,555 Any questions? 444 00:21:05,556 --> 00:21:06,974 Can I at least have my shirt back? 445 00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:09,309 No. Oh, and there's something else I need to give you. 446 00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:11,103 Now, you're probably not ready to hear this, 447 00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:13,480 but that right there is a highly advanced homing beacon. 448 00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:15,607 This is a Rubik's Cube covered with black Sharpie ink. 449 00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:17,484 Oh, trust me. That's the highest of high tech. 450 00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:19,695 - I do not trust you. - And don't ask me how I got it. 451 00:21:19,696 --> 00:21:21,947 I'll just say it involved a full-figured Big Foot suit, 452 00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:24,282 a live chicken, and a shit-ton of ketamine. 453 00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:26,159 Now, on the off chance that we get separated, 454 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:27,703 you press this part down right here, 455 00:21:27,704 --> 00:21:29,204 and I'll know exactly where you are. 456 00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:30,998 Oh, shit! Get down! 457 00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:32,207 - What? - Get down! 458 00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:33,542 - No. - At least take a knee! 459 00:21:33,543 --> 00:21:34,751 - No. - Oh, shit. 460 00:21:34,752 --> 00:21:36,628 The truck's been made. 461 00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:38,588 Oh, thank God. 462 00:21:38,589 --> 00:21:39,756 - Let go! - If you tattletale, 463 00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:41,216 I swear you'll never make it to your job. 464 00:21:41,217 --> 00:21:43,135 I'll tell 'em you're the mastermind behind all this. 465 00:21:43,136 --> 00:21:44,886 - How you gonna do that? - You really should rethink 466 00:21:44,887 --> 00:21:47,431 your password. Just add a few numbers or big letters. 467 00:21:47,432 --> 00:21:49,808 - Those go a long way. - What have you been doing? 468 00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:51,685 Enough to make it seem like you and I have been accomplices 469 00:21:51,686 --> 00:21:53,895 all along, but if you stick with me, I'll clear your name. 470 00:21:53,896 --> 00:21:55,439 - Pinky swear. - God damn it. 471 00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:58,025 It's okay, brother. I intended for plan A to fail. 472 00:21:58,026 --> 00:21:59,526 This is all part of the plan. 473 00:21:59,527 --> 00:22:01,528 We're just going to skip ahead to step 17. 474 00:22:01,529 --> 00:22:05,073 WWTSD. What would Todd Simmons do? 475 00:22:05,074 --> 00:22:06,658 How many hand grenades do you have on your person? 476 00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:07,993 - Danny. - On second thought, 477 00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:09,703 - we don't need a truck. - My passport is in there. 478 00:22:09,704 --> 00:22:11,371 God damn it, Luke. What were you thinking? 479 00:22:11,372 --> 00:22:13,123 - I was unconscious! - You can say that again. 480 00:22:13,124 --> 00:22:15,584 - That's them! - Shit. Plan C. Run! 481 00:22:15,585 --> 00:22:16,835 You'll never catch us! 482 00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:18,962 We're very armed and extremely deranged! 483 00:22:18,963 --> 00:22:21,131 Why would you say that? No, no, no, we're-- we're not. 484 00:22:21,132 --> 00:22:23,217 I'm-- I'm not! Fuck! 485 00:22:25,928 --> 00:22:28,430 This way! Through the trees! 486 00:22:28,431 --> 00:22:29,473 Wait! 487 00:22:57,210 --> 00:22:58,503 Shit. 488 00:23:33,496 --> 00:23:34,789 Man down! 489 00:23:41,045 --> 00:23:42,546 Jesus Christ. 490 00:23:45,258 --> 00:23:46,342 Needs salt. 491 00:23:47,844 --> 00:23:49,261 Come on! 492 00:23:49,262 --> 00:23:51,179 Fuck! I'm so fucked! 493 00:23:51,180 --> 00:23:52,806 Why did you say that? 494 00:23:52,807 --> 00:23:55,183 Oh, that is nothing compared to what I told the authorities 495 00:23:55,184 --> 00:23:56,893 we've been doing for the last two weeks. 496 00:23:56,894 --> 00:23:58,061 No. You, not we. You! 497 00:23:58,062 --> 00:23:59,938 Shut up! This is all happening 498 00:23:59,939 --> 00:24:01,940 according to the new plan that I just thought of. 499 00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:03,441 All we need is a ride 500 00:24:03,442 --> 00:24:05,652 so I can connect with an associate I have in the area, 501 00:24:05,653 --> 00:24:07,612 - and that guy's perfect. - Too rare. 502 00:24:07,613 --> 00:24:09,281 Okay. Here's what we're gonna do. 503 00:24:09,282 --> 00:24:11,324 I'm going to tell him that my fiancée's dog, 504 00:24:11,325 --> 00:24:13,910 Stanley McRuffRuff, was stolen by a one-eyed Portuguese man 505 00:24:13,911 --> 00:24:16,454 and we're on a desperate and inspiring rescue mission. 506 00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:18,123 Why would anyone believe that? 507 00:24:18,124 --> 00:24:20,375 Because no one wants to believe the truth anymore, man, 508 00:24:20,376 --> 00:24:22,169 and people don't let strangers with no pants 509 00:24:22,170 --> 00:24:23,336 ride in their car willy-nilly. 510 00:24:23,337 --> 00:24:26,256 - Why is there no pants? - Bingo bongo. 511 00:24:26,257 --> 00:24:27,466 What? 512 00:24:29,135 --> 00:24:30,677 What the fuck? 513 00:24:30,678 --> 00:24:33,388 You know, if something happened to my little ruff-ruff, 514 00:24:33,389 --> 00:24:35,348 I'd do the same thing. 515 00:24:35,349 --> 00:24:36,725 Damn Portuguese. 516 00:24:36,726 --> 00:24:38,351 Amen, brother. 517 00:24:38,352 --> 00:24:40,478 Oh, right. Uh, for your information, 518 00:24:40,479 --> 00:24:41,855 I've kidnapped my brother 519 00:24:41,856 --> 00:24:44,232 and am forcing him to come along against his will. 520 00:24:44,233 --> 00:24:46,484 He wants to let you know in case you're a witness 521 00:24:46,485 --> 00:24:48,695 in a trial that'll never happen. 522 00:24:48,696 --> 00:24:50,155 Brothers, huh? 523 00:24:50,156 --> 00:24:52,783 I guess y'all do smell pretty similar. 524 00:24:55,745 --> 00:24:57,287 Danny, what the fuck are you doing? 525 00:24:57,288 --> 00:24:59,789 These are the exact coordinates. I triple-checked. 526 00:24:59,790 --> 00:25:02,000 Oh, uh, excuse me, sir. Do you mind driving me to the hospital? 527 00:25:02,001 --> 00:25:03,585 I-- I've been kidnapped! 528 00:25:03,586 --> 00:25:04,878 Nice try, Luke, 529 00:25:04,879 --> 00:25:06,504 but no one wants to believe the truth anymore. 530 00:25:06,505 --> 00:25:07,797 Just let me work. 531 00:25:07,798 --> 00:25:09,591 Now that neither of us have a passport 532 00:25:09,592 --> 00:25:11,009 because you're irresponsible, 533 00:25:11,010 --> 00:25:13,553 we're going to require the services of a badger. 534 00:25:13,554 --> 00:25:14,971 It's like a Canadian coyote. 535 00:25:14,972 --> 00:25:16,890 She'll help us cross the border. 536 00:25:27,026 --> 00:25:28,526 Let's talk. 537 00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:31,155 No running, Eric! 538 00:25:33,449 --> 00:25:35,325 It's nice to see you again, Allison. 539 00:25:35,326 --> 00:25:36,326 It's been a while. 540 00:25:36,327 --> 00:25:38,954 This is my little brother, Luke. 541 00:25:38,955 --> 00:25:41,039 Ah, I know that look. 542 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,792 You're sexually attracted to her, aren't you? 543 00:25:43,793 --> 00:25:45,043 So, where you two heading? 544 00:25:45,044 --> 00:25:46,795 I'm trying to get to Ottawa before Monday, 545 00:25:46,796 --> 00:25:48,755 and he's a wanted felon. 546 00:25:48,756 --> 00:25:50,048 Ottawa. 547 00:25:50,049 --> 00:25:52,551 What, you guys got family up there or something? 548 00:25:53,886 --> 00:25:55,595 Eric, slow the fuck down! 549 00:25:55,596 --> 00:25:56,930 You're a good brother, you know, 550 00:25:56,931 --> 00:25:58,306 helping Danny out like this. 551 00:25:58,307 --> 00:26:00,476 That man has opened my eyes to a lot of truths. 552 00:26:02,228 --> 00:26:04,479 Did you know that there's a metropolis of squid people 553 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:06,815 living directly beneath Santa Fe, New Mexico? 554 00:26:09,860 --> 00:26:11,945 I'm just playing, I don't believe in that kind of stuff. 555 00:26:11,946 --> 00:26:13,905 Push it, Eric. 556 00:26:13,906 --> 00:26:15,573 God damn it, Eric. 557 00:26:15,574 --> 00:26:17,284 I don't get it. You seem so... 558 00:26:17,285 --> 00:26:19,703 Look. When Danny called me up asking if I knew a badger, 559 00:26:19,704 --> 00:26:21,830 I just went, "Screw it. I'll be your badger." 560 00:26:21,831 --> 00:26:23,832 I've got nothing else to do right now, and Danny always 561 00:26:23,833 --> 00:26:26,042 knows how to spin nothing into something crazy and fun. 562 00:26:26,043 --> 00:26:28,128 This is not fun, okay? 563 00:26:28,129 --> 00:26:29,754 Before Danny came back, 564 00:26:29,755 --> 00:26:32,382 things in my life were just finally starting to make sense. 565 00:26:32,383 --> 00:26:35,218 And that's a good thing? Danny will clear your name. 566 00:26:35,219 --> 00:26:36,845 He's gotten me out of much tighter jams than this. 567 00:26:36,846 --> 00:26:39,347 Trust me. And who knows? Maybe by the end, 568 00:26:39,348 --> 00:26:41,308 you'll no longer see this cup as half empty, like me. 569 00:26:41,309 --> 00:26:42,350 Oh, yeah? Why's that? 570 00:26:42,351 --> 00:26:44,894 'Cause I stopped wearing contacts. Can't see shit now. 571 00:26:44,895 --> 00:26:46,688 I just made contact with an associate of mine. 572 00:26:46,689 --> 00:26:48,940 He's gonna provide us with a new vehicle and weaponry. 573 00:26:48,941 --> 00:26:50,650 - Can he be trusted? - Oh, yeah. 574 00:26:50,651 --> 00:26:52,736 We ran a lot of jobs together back in Pismo. 575 00:26:52,737 --> 00:26:54,821 No, no, no, no. Danny, please tell me 576 00:26:54,822 --> 00:26:56,531 you're not talking about Klyle. 577 00:26:56,532 --> 00:26:58,658 I don't know what you'd like me to say, then. 578 00:26:58,659 --> 00:27:00,660 Oh, Danny, come on. Isn't he, like, the president 579 00:27:00,661 --> 00:27:01,828 of the Flat Earth Society? 580 00:27:01,829 --> 00:27:03,330 No, not anymore. He knows the world 581 00:27:03,331 --> 00:27:06,333 is a three-dimensional isosceles triangle. Don't worry. 582 00:27:06,334 --> 00:27:08,501 He said to meet him at these coordinates. 583 00:27:08,502 --> 00:27:10,754 Jesus Christ! 584 00:27:10,755 --> 00:27:13,173 Relax, baby! You're in a sauna! 585 00:27:13,174 --> 00:27:14,424 This is definitely the spot. 586 00:27:14,425 --> 00:27:16,092 I quadruple-checked the coordinates. 587 00:27:16,093 --> 00:27:17,469 You said his name was Klyle? 588 00:27:17,470 --> 00:27:19,471 Yeah. He purposely misspells his name 589 00:27:19,472 --> 00:27:21,806 to make himself harder to track. It's very smart. 590 00:27:24,226 --> 00:27:26,228 Come with me. 591 00:27:29,273 --> 00:27:30,398 Were you followed? 592 00:27:30,399 --> 00:27:31,649 Uh, I don't think so. 593 00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:33,276 What about that guy? 594 00:27:33,277 --> 00:27:35,862 Nope. He's not one of them. 595 00:27:35,863 --> 00:27:37,280 Well, who's the sheep? 596 00:27:37,281 --> 00:27:39,074 That's my little brother, Luke. 597 00:27:39,075 --> 00:27:40,241 Can he be trusted? 598 00:27:40,242 --> 00:27:42,702 Yeah, 100 percent. He's my brother. 599 00:27:42,703 --> 00:27:44,454 I see you found yourself a badger. 600 00:27:44,455 --> 00:27:45,830 Best in the business. 601 00:27:45,831 --> 00:27:47,332 Only the best for Danny. 602 00:27:47,333 --> 00:27:49,376 Okay, guys. Can we please just hurry this up? 603 00:27:49,377 --> 00:27:50,460 How can I help? 604 00:27:50,461 --> 00:27:51,961 They need to get to Ottawa. 605 00:27:51,962 --> 00:27:54,881 Ottawa... 606 00:27:54,882 --> 00:27:56,467 And no, we don't have any family there. 607 00:27:57,468 --> 00:27:58,552 Wait. 608 00:27:59,553 --> 00:28:00,887 You're going to Ottawa? 609 00:28:00,888 --> 00:28:03,223 There's no way you stole what I think you stole. 610 00:28:03,224 --> 00:28:05,016 Maybe I did. 611 00:28:05,017 --> 00:28:06,935 Oh, you really got it, huh? 612 00:28:06,936 --> 00:28:08,938 Then whip it out and show it to me. 613 00:28:17,863 --> 00:28:19,322 You do realize that is worth 614 00:28:19,323 --> 00:28:22,992 upwards of 27.7 million USD? 615 00:28:22,993 --> 00:28:25,328 He's exaggerating. Besides, it's not for sale. 616 00:28:25,329 --> 00:28:27,789 Now, can you help us with a vehicle and weaponry or not? 617 00:28:27,790 --> 00:28:30,792 You... 618 00:28:30,793 --> 00:28:33,754 Yeah. Yes. Yes, I can. 619 00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:37,632 Take your pick. 620 00:28:37,633 --> 00:28:39,843 Is this your entire inventory? 621 00:28:39,844 --> 00:28:42,262 Yeah. My mom isn't CEO of Gucci Vuitton, 622 00:28:42,263 --> 00:28:43,263 I'm sorry to say. 623 00:28:43,264 --> 00:28:44,515 Ah. 624 00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:48,893 This one doesn't have any side mirrors. 625 00:28:48,894 --> 00:28:52,147 Yeah. Well, I had to kick them off to decrease wind resistance. 626 00:28:53,524 --> 00:28:54,650 Smart. 627 00:28:58,446 --> 00:29:01,156 Ooh, impressive. 628 00:29:01,157 --> 00:29:03,825 If you want anything, all this stuff is 30 percent off. 629 00:29:13,085 --> 00:29:15,128 Hey, sheep. 630 00:29:15,129 --> 00:29:16,754 Hey, baa-baa sheep. 631 00:29:16,755 --> 00:29:19,007 Hey. Hey! 632 00:29:19,008 --> 00:29:21,676 - You gonna answer me or not? - What was the question again? 633 00:29:21,677 --> 00:29:24,762 If Grover Cleveland showed up right here, right now, 634 00:29:24,763 --> 00:29:27,682 right next to you and you got to ask him one question, 635 00:29:27,683 --> 00:29:29,058 - what would it be? - I-- I don't know. 636 00:29:29,059 --> 00:29:31,269 I guess I'd ask him what he thought 637 00:29:31,270 --> 00:29:33,021 about current events and stuff. 638 00:29:34,106 --> 00:29:35,607 Wrong. Uh-uh. 639 00:29:35,608 --> 00:29:36,900 Okay, Klyle. 640 00:29:36,901 --> 00:29:38,401 What would you ask him? 641 00:29:38,402 --> 00:29:40,904 - How he did it. - How he did what? 642 00:29:40,905 --> 00:29:43,448 Time travel! How did a man that size 643 00:29:43,449 --> 00:29:45,992 show up right here, right now, right next to you? 644 00:29:45,993 --> 00:29:47,619 That didn't weird you out or anything? 645 00:29:47,620 --> 00:29:50,038 That didn't spring up a bunch of questions in your mind? 646 00:29:50,039 --> 00:29:52,123 Danny, we already got the car, man! Can we just go? 647 00:29:52,124 --> 00:29:54,292 Jesus! Be careful, man. 648 00:29:54,293 --> 00:29:55,835 Relax. It's not even loaded. 649 00:29:55,836 --> 00:29:57,003 Whoa, Danny! 650 00:29:57,004 --> 00:29:58,880 - The fuck are you doing? - What? 651 00:29:58,881 --> 00:30:00,716 There's nothing to worry about. See? 652 00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:05,512 Oh, you gotta be kidding me. 653 00:30:05,513 --> 00:30:08,348 Klyle, you son a bitch, you were trying to rip me off! 654 00:30:08,349 --> 00:30:10,099 Bullshit! You probably had the safety on! 655 00:30:10,100 --> 00:30:11,644 It's off! Look! 656 00:30:13,437 --> 00:30:15,563 That is not how you test it! 657 00:30:15,564 --> 00:30:16,981 - What? - Let me see. 658 00:30:16,982 --> 00:30:18,191 What? No. Jesus. 659 00:30:18,192 --> 00:30:20,568 What is the matter with you guys? God! 660 00:30:20,569 --> 00:30:22,237 I don't understand it. 661 00:30:22,238 --> 00:30:24,280 It randomly discharged this morning. 662 00:30:24,281 --> 00:30:25,281 It should work. 663 00:30:25,282 --> 00:30:26,367 Huh. 664 00:30:29,411 --> 00:30:31,829 Wouldn't it be funny if it just randomly went off right now? 665 00:30:35,918 --> 00:30:37,211 I mean, a little. 666 00:30:41,549 --> 00:30:43,883 Mama, you want a taco? 667 00:30:43,884 --> 00:30:45,261 Okay. Your loss. 668 00:30:53,936 --> 00:30:57,313 Mm. Hey. Hey, baa-baa. Next question. 669 00:30:57,314 --> 00:30:59,566 If you could have brunch with one person, 670 00:30:59,567 --> 00:31:02,193 living, dead, or ghost, who would it be? 671 00:31:02,194 --> 00:31:06,114 My former self, to remind me to never, ever trust my brother. 672 00:31:06,115 --> 00:31:07,574 Seriously, if I miss out on this dig, 673 00:31:07,575 --> 00:31:09,242 I will literally shoot you. 674 00:31:09,243 --> 00:31:11,911 - Wrong answer, pal. - Okay, Klyle! 675 00:31:11,912 --> 00:31:13,162 What's the right one, then? 676 00:31:13,163 --> 00:31:14,163 Todd Simmons. 677 00:31:14,164 --> 00:31:15,540 Okay. Will someone please 678 00:31:15,541 --> 00:31:17,667 just tell me who the fuck this Todd Simmons guy is? 679 00:31:17,668 --> 00:31:19,127 Oh! 680 00:31:19,128 --> 00:31:20,753 - Shit! - Oh, my God! 681 00:31:20,754 --> 00:31:22,589 I told you it worked! 682 00:31:22,590 --> 00:31:26,509 Oh, fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I've been fucking shot! 683 00:31:26,510 --> 00:31:28,094 Sure that wasn't there the whole time? 684 00:31:28,095 --> 00:31:29,429 God! No! Call 911! 685 00:31:29,430 --> 00:31:30,597 You're fine. It's just a BB. 686 00:31:30,598 --> 00:31:31,806 Fuck you, Danny! It hurts! 687 00:31:31,807 --> 00:31:35,059 - Check for an exit wound. - What? 688 00:31:35,060 --> 00:31:36,894 Somebody help me! Somebody help me, please! 689 00:31:36,895 --> 00:31:38,062 Restrain him! 690 00:31:38,063 --> 00:31:40,315 Somebody! 691 00:31:41,609 --> 00:31:43,485 Not like that, you idiot! 692 00:31:44,570 --> 00:31:46,946 Ah! Ah! 693 00:31:46,947 --> 00:31:48,615 Badger, go upstairs to my room 694 00:31:48,616 --> 00:31:50,617 and get the Band-Aids from my grenade drawer. 695 00:31:50,618 --> 00:31:51,784 - On it. - Alright. 696 00:31:51,785 --> 00:31:53,244 We gotta restrain him, 697 00:31:53,245 --> 00:31:54,746 'cause I'm gonna suck the bullet out. 698 00:31:54,747 --> 00:31:56,623 What the fuck? That's what you do with snake venom! 699 00:31:56,624 --> 00:31:57,999 Yeah. That doesn't sound right. 700 00:31:58,000 --> 00:31:59,542 - Trust me. I'm a doctor. - Oh, really? 701 00:31:59,543 --> 00:32:01,462 If you're a doctor, let's see your badge. 702 00:32:03,047 --> 00:32:04,756 - Checks out. Proceed, Klyle. - Okay. 703 00:32:04,757 --> 00:32:06,966 What the fuck? Ah! 704 00:32:06,967 --> 00:32:09,093 Oh, gross! He's vaccinated! Ugh! 705 00:32:10,179 --> 00:32:14,098 - Oh, shit! - Somebody call 911! Ah! 706 00:32:14,099 --> 00:32:16,267 I got him. It's okay, Luke. 707 00:32:16,268 --> 00:32:17,977 I'll take care of you, alright? 708 00:32:19,021 --> 00:32:20,313 No! 709 00:32:20,314 --> 00:32:22,148 It's okay! It's just enough to ease the pain! 710 00:32:22,149 --> 00:32:24,400 How about we make our own exit wound? 711 00:32:24,401 --> 00:32:26,277 I'm gonna push the bullet all the way through. 712 00:32:26,278 --> 00:32:28,154 - Ah! - Whoa, whoa, whoa! 713 00:32:28,155 --> 00:32:29,530 Wait! What is happening? 714 00:32:29,531 --> 00:32:31,824 What does it look like? We're making an exit wound. 715 00:32:31,825 --> 00:32:33,034 Oh, let me try. 716 00:32:33,035 --> 00:32:34,786 - Whoa! - Wrong arm! Wrong arm! 717 00:32:34,787 --> 00:32:36,663 Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! I'm blind as a bat here! 718 00:32:36,664 --> 00:32:38,206 Ah! 719 00:32:38,207 --> 00:32:40,375 - Oh! - Ah! 720 00:32:40,376 --> 00:32:42,543 Okay. Alright. Okay. Okay. 721 00:32:42,544 --> 00:32:43,878 Ah! 722 00:32:43,879 --> 00:32:46,047 Oh, wow. That was satisfying. 723 00:32:46,048 --> 00:32:47,340 - Okay. Okay. - Ah! 724 00:32:47,341 --> 00:32:50,344 Everything's gonna be fine, brother. Whew! 725 00:32:51,970 --> 00:32:54,847 Oh, fuck muffin. 726 00:32:54,848 --> 00:32:55,974 Klyle. Klyle. 727 00:33:02,981 --> 00:33:05,108 She must have just bought it. I swear I didn't know! 728 00:33:05,109 --> 00:33:06,401 Well, now, they know! 729 00:33:06,402 --> 00:33:08,111 Oh, easy, easy. He's pretty dazed. 730 00:33:08,112 --> 00:33:10,196 Shh. Shh. 731 00:33:10,197 --> 00:33:12,282 - Run. Run! - Shit, shit. 732 00:33:14,451 --> 00:33:15,451 Shotgun! 733 00:33:19,456 --> 00:33:20,456 Ah! 734 00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:29,257 Go, go, go, go, go! 735 00:33:31,552 --> 00:33:33,053 Oh, fuck muffin. 736 00:33:34,221 --> 00:33:36,013 I think I just pissed my pants. 737 00:33:36,014 --> 00:33:37,640 - Are we being followed? - I don't know. 738 00:33:37,641 --> 00:33:40,060 I can't tell without any side-view mirrors! 739 00:33:41,145 --> 00:33:43,020 Shit! Is that them? 740 00:33:43,021 --> 00:33:44,439 I think so. 741 00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:46,023 Good thing I called shotgun. 742 00:33:46,024 --> 00:33:48,484 Whoa! What the fuck are you doing, Danny? Calm down. 743 00:33:48,485 --> 00:33:49,777 It's okay, alright? 744 00:33:49,778 --> 00:33:51,654 I'm just gonna shoot out the tires. 745 00:33:51,655 --> 00:33:54,031 No blood shall be spilled this day. 746 00:33:54,032 --> 00:33:55,868 I mean, no additional blood. 747 00:33:57,536 --> 00:33:59,954 God damn it, Klyle! This one's busted, too! 748 00:33:59,955 --> 00:34:02,165 No doy. Why do you think it was in the bargain bin? 749 00:34:02,166 --> 00:34:03,791 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! 750 00:34:03,792 --> 00:34:05,960 - What do we do, man? - The only thing we can do. 751 00:34:05,961 --> 00:34:07,628 - We gotta get to a-- - Taco Gary's. 752 00:34:07,629 --> 00:34:08,755 It's neutral territory. 753 00:34:08,756 --> 00:34:10,465 No member of the Coalition can do business 754 00:34:10,466 --> 00:34:11,966 inside of a Taco Gary's restaurant. 755 00:34:11,967 --> 00:34:13,801 Can you please let me out of the car. 756 00:34:13,802 --> 00:34:15,261 It's the truth, nonbeliever. 757 00:34:15,262 --> 00:34:16,596 When the Coalition was founded, 758 00:34:16,597 --> 00:34:18,389 fights broke out for tickets off world. 759 00:34:18,390 --> 00:34:20,600 The head elders declared their favorite restaurant, 760 00:34:20,601 --> 00:34:22,602 Taco Gary's, as a safe zone. 761 00:34:22,603 --> 00:34:25,646 Violators of the safe zone had their eyes melted 762 00:34:25,647 --> 00:34:28,691 and their souls sold on the galactic slave market. 763 00:34:28,692 --> 00:34:30,693 It's not that bad. He's exaggerating. 764 00:34:30,694 --> 00:34:33,196 The galactic slave market closed about seven years ago. 765 00:34:33,197 --> 00:34:34,572 Okay. Just keep going straight. 766 00:34:34,573 --> 00:34:36,491 I think there's one just over Jeremonte Ridge. 767 00:34:36,492 --> 00:34:37,492 Copy that. 768 00:34:57,930 --> 00:34:58,931 Get in. 769 00:35:00,849 --> 00:35:02,725 Voice on speaker: Welcome to Taco Gary's. 770 00:35:02,726 --> 00:35:04,435 Try the new single buffalo blast... 771 00:35:04,436 --> 00:35:05,561 Sit, sit, sit, sit. 772 00:35:05,562 --> 00:35:07,438 ...available for a limited time... 773 00:35:07,439 --> 00:35:11,192 It's okay. 774 00:35:11,193 --> 00:35:12,235 Danny. 775 00:35:12,236 --> 00:35:13,945 It's okay. Stop staring. 776 00:35:13,946 --> 00:35:15,905 We're safe for now. 777 00:35:15,906 --> 00:35:17,532 Safe for now, but how the heck 778 00:35:17,533 --> 00:35:20,576 are we gonna get out of here alive? 779 00:35:20,577 --> 00:35:22,995 Voice on speaker:...try Taco Gary's chaos-adilla. 780 00:35:22,996 --> 00:35:24,956 I don't know. You guys sure she want to kill us? 781 00:35:24,957 --> 00:35:27,583 Mm-hmm. What she wants is what I stole, 782 00:35:27,584 --> 00:35:30,127 and she'll happily string us up by our testicles to get it. 783 00:35:30,128 --> 00:35:31,504 - Oof. - And your vagina. Sorry. 784 00:35:31,505 --> 00:35:32,755 - Thank you. - You should go 785 00:35:32,756 --> 00:35:34,423 before you're implicated any further. 786 00:35:34,424 --> 00:35:37,218 You can shove that idea, 787 00:35:37,219 --> 00:35:39,929 because I'm going with you guys all the way to Ottawa. 788 00:35:39,930 --> 00:35:41,472 I gotta see this thing through, buddy. 789 00:35:41,473 --> 00:35:44,559 No. I can't be responsible for another soul, Klyle. 790 00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:46,143 Oh, but this guy gets to go? 791 00:35:46,144 --> 00:35:49,146 This useless piece of this guy? No way. 792 00:35:49,147 --> 00:35:51,190 Probably couldn't shoot a pheasant out of the sky 793 00:35:51,191 --> 00:35:52,608 with a sightless crossbow, 794 00:35:52,609 --> 00:35:54,235 but you know who can? 795 00:35:54,236 --> 00:35:55,987 Cash Israel. Yeah. 796 00:35:55,988 --> 00:35:57,363 You're not friends with him again. 797 00:35:57,364 --> 00:35:58,948 - Yes, I am. - You guys are talking? 798 00:35:58,949 --> 00:36:00,867 Yeah. We're talking, and we're tight. 799 00:36:00,868 --> 00:36:02,326 And he told me one thing. He said, 800 00:36:02,327 --> 00:36:04,579 "I'm gonna teach you everything I know, pal." 801 00:36:04,580 --> 00:36:06,539 And then he gave me a kiss on the cheek. 802 00:36:06,540 --> 00:36:11,043 Look. What I have here is worth 27.7 million USD. 803 00:36:11,044 --> 00:36:12,670 I can-- 804 00:36:12,671 --> 00:36:14,631 I cannot be responsible for another soul, Klyle. 805 00:36:16,258 --> 00:36:17,717 - Fine. - Thank you. 806 00:36:17,718 --> 00:36:22,346 I'll leave, but I'm not going out without doing this! 807 00:36:24,933 --> 00:36:26,225 What is this thing? 808 00:36:26,226 --> 00:36:28,561 It's frigging heavy. 809 00:36:28,562 --> 00:36:30,105 What the... It's bolted. 810 00:36:37,404 --> 00:36:38,572 Fine. 811 00:36:40,616 --> 00:36:41,783 God damn it. 812 00:36:43,201 --> 00:36:44,660 Okay. Okay. 813 00:36:44,661 --> 00:36:46,579 Klyle's a lot. 814 00:36:46,580 --> 00:36:48,205 Wha-- What are you doing? 815 00:36:48,206 --> 00:36:49,832 Jesus. Are you that unaware? 816 00:36:49,833 --> 00:36:51,751 I am done with all of this. 817 00:36:51,752 --> 00:36:54,462 I'm taking whatever you stole, and I'm calling the police. 818 00:36:54,463 --> 00:36:56,923 You can't do that. What about getting to Ottawa on time, huh? 819 00:36:56,924 --> 00:36:59,133 If I stay with you, I'll probably never make it up there. 820 00:36:59,134 --> 00:37:00,134 Let go of my fucking bag! 821 00:37:00,135 --> 00:37:01,219 - Let go! - Hey! 822 00:37:02,721 --> 00:37:04,681 Did you take something out of here? Huh? 823 00:37:05,766 --> 00:37:06,850 Hell. 824 00:37:08,352 --> 00:37:09,394 What the fuck? 825 00:37:13,649 --> 00:37:16,317 Ah! You truce-breaking fuck! 826 00:37:16,318 --> 00:37:18,611 What happened to the Taco Gary's peace? 827 00:37:18,612 --> 00:37:20,613 - I beg your pardon? - Don't play dumb with me. 828 00:37:20,614 --> 00:37:22,323 I know you're a member of the Coalition. 829 00:37:22,324 --> 00:37:23,825 Danny. Danny! 830 00:37:29,623 --> 00:37:32,792 No, no, Klyle! No! No, no, no, no! Fuck! Fuck! 831 00:37:32,793 --> 00:37:34,710 woman: Hey! Watch where you're going! 832 00:37:34,711 --> 00:37:37,171 Fuck. God damn it! 833 00:37:37,172 --> 00:37:39,715 I swear to God, I'm going to rip off his fucking head, 834 00:37:39,716 --> 00:37:41,258 shove it up his ass, and fuck-- 835 00:37:41,259 --> 00:37:42,302 Shut up! 836 00:37:45,180 --> 00:37:48,057 Listen to me very closely. 837 00:37:48,058 --> 00:37:49,184 You're fucking insane. 838 00:37:51,186 --> 00:37:53,396 - But-- - There is no "but", asshole. 839 00:37:53,397 --> 00:37:54,981 Wow. I can't believe 840 00:37:54,982 --> 00:37:56,816 my own brother's turning against me, too. 841 00:37:56,817 --> 00:37:59,193 Of course you can't believe it, because it's the truth. 842 00:37:59,194 --> 00:38:01,821 Look at me. I have been shot and stabbed and-- and drugged 843 00:38:01,822 --> 00:38:04,156 and fucking kidnapped, all in the last 16 hours. 844 00:38:04,157 --> 00:38:05,366 I know this sounds crazy, 845 00:38:05,367 --> 00:38:07,618 but it's still all part of the plan, okay? 846 00:38:07,619 --> 00:38:09,620 I don't like seeing you like this! You know how hard it is-- 847 00:38:09,621 --> 00:38:11,414 Oh, my God! Are you actually trying to play the victim 848 00:38:11,415 --> 00:38:13,874 right now, seriously? You have got to be 849 00:38:13,875 --> 00:38:16,669 the most selfishly psychotic fuck-up 850 00:38:16,670 --> 00:38:18,212 on the entire planet, 851 00:38:18,213 --> 00:38:21,007 and I am not gonna let you ruin my life anymore. 852 00:38:21,008 --> 00:38:22,508 Wait. No. You can't go. 853 00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:25,220 This whole trip is about you. 854 00:38:26,972 --> 00:38:30,349 Mom and Dad were right to cut you out of their lives, 855 00:38:30,350 --> 00:38:34,812 and my only regret... is that I didn't do the same. 856 00:38:34,813 --> 00:38:37,816 You are what's wrong with this world, Danny. 857 00:38:39,443 --> 00:38:40,569 Never contact me again. 858 00:38:45,032 --> 00:38:46,033 You coming? 859 00:38:49,661 --> 00:38:52,580 Come on, Allison. You are clearly a smart person. 860 00:38:52,581 --> 00:38:55,041 If you want some excitement in your life, just buy a Vespa. 861 00:38:55,042 --> 00:38:57,251 It's a lot safer than all this! 862 00:39:05,218 --> 00:39:06,510 I'm going to stay with Danny. 863 00:39:06,511 --> 00:39:08,554 Ah! 864 00:39:08,555 --> 00:39:11,932 Okay! Okay! 865 00:39:11,933 --> 00:39:16,395 Am I the last sane person left in this entire country? 866 00:39:16,396 --> 00:39:18,230 Okay! Okay! 867 00:39:18,231 --> 00:39:20,649 It's okay. Just let him cool off a little bit. 868 00:39:20,650 --> 00:39:21,776 He ain't going far. 869 00:39:21,777 --> 00:39:24,403 You want a burrito? I'm starving. 870 00:39:36,875 --> 00:39:38,043 Okay. 871 00:39:42,255 --> 00:39:44,465 Uh, excuse me. 872 00:39:44,466 --> 00:39:46,842 Hey, uh, can I use your phone? 873 00:39:46,843 --> 00:39:49,011 I'm not allowed to let customers use the phone. 874 00:39:49,012 --> 00:39:50,221 Use your own damn phone. 875 00:39:50,222 --> 00:39:51,931 Right. Well, that is a very good idea, 876 00:39:51,932 --> 00:39:53,808 except it has been stolen. 877 00:39:53,809 --> 00:39:55,810 Hence why I'm asking to borrow yours. 878 00:39:55,811 --> 00:39:57,269 Customers aren't allowed. 879 00:39:57,270 --> 00:39:59,396 - It's an emergency. - What kind of emergency? 880 00:39:59,397 --> 00:40:01,774 Well, I have been kidnapped and shot, for one. 881 00:40:01,775 --> 00:40:03,567 You been shot? 882 00:40:03,568 --> 00:40:05,152 You think I'm dumb. 883 00:40:05,153 --> 00:40:07,113 This motherfucker. 884 00:40:07,114 --> 00:40:09,073 Would it help if I told you that my fiancée's dog 885 00:40:09,074 --> 00:40:11,325 has been kidnapped by a one-eyed Portuguese man 886 00:40:11,326 --> 00:40:13,327 and I need to tell the police about it? 887 00:40:13,328 --> 00:40:14,621 Of course. 888 00:40:15,622 --> 00:40:16,748 Here. Take it. 889 00:40:25,882 --> 00:40:27,675 911. What's your emergency? 890 00:40:27,676 --> 00:40:29,552 Yes. Hello. Hi. My name is Luke Davenport, 891 00:40:29,553 --> 00:40:31,971 and I have been kidnapped by my brother, Danny Davenport. 892 00:40:31,972 --> 00:40:34,682 I-- I believe he is wanted, or maybe we both are, 893 00:40:34,683 --> 00:40:36,350 but I-- I am the victim here. 894 00:40:36,351 --> 00:40:38,894 I was the one who was kidnapped, and I have been drugged. 895 00:40:38,895 --> 00:40:40,521 And I have been shot, and-- and you-- 896 00:40:40,522 --> 00:40:42,190 One moment, please. 897 00:40:44,442 --> 00:40:47,112 So... what brings you out here? 898 00:40:48,155 --> 00:40:49,530 Were you not listening? 899 00:40:49,531 --> 00:40:52,449 Oh. Dog guy, right? 900 00:40:52,450 --> 00:40:54,285 Is your brother currently with you? 901 00:40:54,286 --> 00:40:55,703 No, he is not. 902 00:40:55,704 --> 00:40:57,121 What's your location? 903 00:40:57,122 --> 00:40:58,706 Hey, what's the name of this place? 904 00:40:58,707 --> 00:41:00,666 Huh? What's that? 905 00:41:00,667 --> 00:41:02,085 Where are we? 906 00:41:04,462 --> 00:41:07,089 You know, if anything happened to my little ruff-ruff, 907 00:41:07,090 --> 00:41:08,466 - I'd do the same. - I don't... 908 00:41:11,845 --> 00:41:13,304 Whoa! 909 00:41:13,305 --> 00:41:14,930 Hands on your fucking head. 910 00:41:14,931 --> 00:41:16,140 Hands on your fucking head! 911 00:41:16,141 --> 00:41:18,058 Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Wait, wait, wait, wait! 912 00:41:18,059 --> 00:41:20,352 - I'm on your side! - I'm on your side. 913 00:41:20,353 --> 00:41:21,979 I don't really sound like that. Come on. 914 00:41:21,980 --> 00:41:23,480 Oh. What the fuck is that? 915 00:41:23,481 --> 00:41:24,732 Sir, that's my penis! 916 00:41:24,733 --> 00:41:26,275 Wow. Very nice. 917 00:41:26,276 --> 00:41:27,735 It's very nice, but a lot of skin. 918 00:41:27,736 --> 00:41:29,486 What's wrong with that? What's happening there? 919 00:41:29,487 --> 00:41:30,905 What? No! You don't understand! 920 00:41:30,906 --> 00:41:34,033 - I was taken against my will-- - Shut the fuck up! 921 00:41:34,034 --> 00:41:36,493 No. It's-- It's Danny that you want, 922 00:41:36,494 --> 00:41:38,746 and I-- I can tell you where he's going! 923 00:41:38,747 --> 00:41:40,789 You think I'm dumb? Huh? 924 00:41:40,790 --> 00:41:43,000 He's going to Ottawa, him and your other accomplice, 925 00:41:43,001 --> 00:41:44,627 the kooky guy with the beautiful hair. 926 00:41:44,628 --> 00:41:46,670 No. They are not my accomplices. 927 00:41:46,671 --> 00:41:48,297 Heh! So you do think I'm dumb. 928 00:41:48,298 --> 00:41:49,757 Okay. That's how we're going to play it? 929 00:41:49,758 --> 00:41:51,550 No. No. Listen. I just-- I just-- I need to talk 930 00:41:51,551 --> 00:41:53,719 to a lawyer, okay? I do get one phone call? 931 00:41:53,720 --> 00:41:55,763 Oh, my friend, that is where you're wrong. 932 00:41:55,764 --> 00:41:57,514 You see, I'm not the police, 933 00:41:57,515 --> 00:42:00,351 and you don't get to call nobody. 934 00:42:00,352 --> 00:42:03,812 What? 935 00:42:10,779 --> 00:42:12,155 Come on. 936 00:42:35,845 --> 00:42:37,179 What is this place? 937 00:42:37,180 --> 00:42:40,182 My summer bomb shelter, of course. 938 00:42:40,183 --> 00:42:41,558 Jason Biggs? 939 00:42:41,559 --> 00:42:44,186 What? Were you expecting Todd Simmons or something? 940 00:42:44,187 --> 00:42:47,690 Uh-oh! That was good. Oh, my goodness. 941 00:42:47,691 --> 00:42:49,275 That was funny. 942 00:42:49,276 --> 00:42:50,484 Oh, yeah. 943 00:42:50,485 --> 00:42:52,194 You're supposed to be dead. 944 00:42:52,195 --> 00:42:53,821 God. You look terrible, buddy. 945 00:42:53,822 --> 00:42:55,197 Tiago, did you offer him a drink? 946 00:42:55,198 --> 00:42:56,699 - I did not. - What about some mango? 947 00:42:56,700 --> 00:42:58,242 I could slice one up for you. 948 00:42:58,243 --> 00:42:59,660 I'm okay. 949 00:42:59,661 --> 00:43:01,495 What do you think, Tiago? Should we, like, 950 00:43:01,496 --> 00:43:03,205 tie him up or something? Is that a good idea? 951 00:43:03,206 --> 00:43:05,374 You know, it's really whatever you feel, Jason. 952 00:43:05,375 --> 00:43:08,043 I don't know, Tiago. That's why I was asking you. 953 00:43:08,044 --> 00:43:10,004 - Do we even have rope? - Oh, we have rope. Come on. 954 00:43:10,005 --> 00:43:12,089 Okay. Great. Then we might as well use it, right? 955 00:43:12,090 --> 00:43:13,132 Mm-hmm. 956 00:43:13,133 --> 00:43:15,384 Maybe some duct tape for his mouth? 957 00:43:15,385 --> 00:43:17,052 Huh? How's that look? 958 00:43:17,053 --> 00:43:18,304 - Perfect. - Great. 959 00:43:18,305 --> 00:43:19,596 - Well done, Tiago. - Thank you. 960 00:43:19,597 --> 00:43:20,889 Go have yourself some mango. 961 00:43:20,890 --> 00:43:22,308 Hey, I don't want to be rude, 962 00:43:22,309 --> 00:43:23,726 but I'm kind of, like, ugh, 963 00:43:23,727 --> 00:43:26,271 up to here with mangos for today, so... 964 00:43:31,776 --> 00:43:33,444 Suit yourself. Heh. 965 00:43:33,445 --> 00:43:35,612 Lots of good mangos not being taken advantage of. 966 00:43:35,613 --> 00:43:36,947 True. 967 00:43:36,948 --> 00:43:39,325 So... ahem, you are probably wondering 968 00:43:39,326 --> 00:43:41,327 why haven't we shot you in the face yet? 969 00:43:41,328 --> 00:43:43,162 - Unh-unh. - It's because we need 970 00:43:43,163 --> 00:43:46,206 your brother, the criminal formerly known 971 00:43:46,207 --> 00:43:49,460 as Sheriff Deacon Shrimp. 972 00:43:49,461 --> 00:43:53,339 You see, I... am the victim here, okay? 973 00:43:53,340 --> 00:43:56,300 Sure, myself and thousands of others 974 00:43:56,301 --> 00:43:59,053 may be faking our death in order to... 975 00:43:59,054 --> 00:44:01,638 Well, I'm sure you know all that. 976 00:44:03,808 --> 00:44:05,017 What's that? 977 00:44:08,980 --> 00:44:10,105 Is... 978 00:44:10,106 --> 00:44:11,523 Do you get-- What? One more time. 979 00:44:14,027 --> 00:44:16,070 This is-- This is making me so uncomfortable. 980 00:44:16,071 --> 00:44:18,655 This whole, like, you know, tied-up interrogation vibe, 981 00:44:18,656 --> 00:44:20,157 it makes me feel like the bad guy. 982 00:44:20,158 --> 00:44:21,742 - And you're not the bad guy. - Exactly. 983 00:44:21,743 --> 00:44:23,077 - You are the victim. - Thank you. 984 00:44:23,078 --> 00:44:24,912 - Let's scale it back. - Let's scale it back. 985 00:44:24,913 --> 00:44:27,873 - Yeah. Little bit. - Scaling it back. Okay. 986 00:44:27,874 --> 00:44:29,250 Uh... 987 00:44:31,294 --> 00:44:33,463 Nope. Uh, okay. 988 00:44:35,048 --> 00:44:36,465 How does this look, Tiago? 989 00:44:36,466 --> 00:44:38,008 Yeah. You know, it looks like two guys 990 00:44:38,009 --> 00:44:39,927 just casually enjoying mangos. 991 00:44:39,928 --> 00:44:42,471 Perfect! Perfect. Okay. Great. 992 00:44:42,472 --> 00:44:44,098 Great. Now, uh, where was I? 993 00:44:44,099 --> 00:44:45,891 Ah, yes. 994 00:44:45,892 --> 00:44:49,686 The point is, I am not hurting anyone, 995 00:44:49,687 --> 00:44:51,438 but if I don't have my ticket, 996 00:44:51,439 --> 00:44:54,525 this whole charade would be for naught, right? 997 00:44:54,526 --> 00:44:55,609 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Right. 998 00:44:55,610 --> 00:44:58,404 So I need you to contact your brother 999 00:44:58,405 --> 00:44:59,905 and explain the situation. 1000 00:44:59,906 --> 00:45:01,573 What is the situation? 1001 00:45:01,574 --> 00:45:04,243 That I'm being held hostage? 1002 00:45:04,244 --> 00:45:05,577 - Hold up! - Whoa! 1003 00:45:05,578 --> 00:45:07,413 Wait a minute. 1004 00:45:07,414 --> 00:45:09,123 - Stop that. - Yikes. 1005 00:45:09,124 --> 00:45:10,624 - Whew! Big word. - No. That's, uh-- 1006 00:45:10,625 --> 00:45:13,293 Ooh, that word. And-- and again, 1007 00:45:13,294 --> 00:45:16,130 I am not the bad guy, okay? 1008 00:45:16,131 --> 00:45:17,339 - You know what? - Yep? 1009 00:45:17,340 --> 00:45:18,590 - Tiago? - Yep? 1010 00:45:18,591 --> 00:45:20,050 Bring the ropes back. 1011 00:45:20,051 --> 00:45:23,178 Okay. Much better. Much better. 1012 00:45:23,179 --> 00:45:26,432 Now, you need to inform your brother 1013 00:45:26,433 --> 00:45:29,768 that he has 24 hours to find that Kyle friend of his. 1014 00:45:29,769 --> 00:45:31,562 Uh, it's-- it's Klyle. 1015 00:45:31,563 --> 00:45:33,021 What? 1016 00:45:33,022 --> 00:45:34,231 His name is Klyle. 1017 00:45:34,232 --> 00:45:35,816 Are you, like, stuttering, or is... 1018 00:45:35,817 --> 00:45:36,984 No, it's Klyle. 1019 00:45:36,985 --> 00:45:38,944 - Klyle? - With, like, an L-sound? 1020 00:45:38,945 --> 00:45:40,028 - Yeah. - Huh. 1021 00:45:40,029 --> 00:45:42,281 - K-L? - Y-L-E. 1022 00:45:42,282 --> 00:45:43,282 - Uh... - Oh. 1023 00:45:43,283 --> 00:45:44,825 - Stupid name. - Yeah. 1024 00:45:44,826 --> 00:45:47,453 That does explain, though, why he's been so difficult to track. 1025 00:45:47,454 --> 00:45:49,288 - He got you. - Yeah. Very clever. 1026 00:45:49,289 --> 00:45:51,206 Very clever. Regardless... 1027 00:45:51,207 --> 00:45:54,376 You need to facilitate returning what is rightfully mine, 1028 00:45:54,377 --> 00:45:56,545 or... 1029 00:45:57,589 --> 00:45:59,089 This dog gets it. 1030 00:45:59,090 --> 00:46:01,258 Who-- Whose dog is that? 1031 00:46:01,259 --> 00:46:03,594 Lives are on the line here! 1032 00:46:03,595 --> 00:46:05,804 Don't make Tiago become the bad guy. 1033 00:46:05,805 --> 00:46:07,097 I'll do it, but I don't want to. 1034 00:46:07,098 --> 00:46:08,640 Danny doesn't even have a cell phone! 1035 00:46:08,641 --> 00:46:10,309 There's literally no way to contact him. 1036 00:46:10,310 --> 00:46:11,852 Oh well, in that case, Tiago? 1037 00:46:11,853 --> 00:46:13,979 - Bye-bye, puppy. - No, no, no! Wait, wait, wait. 1038 00:46:13,980 --> 00:46:16,273 Wait. I just remembered. He gave me this. 1039 00:46:16,274 --> 00:46:19,526 Damn it. 1040 00:46:19,527 --> 00:46:21,195 - Oopsie. - Tiago? 1041 00:46:21,196 --> 00:46:22,404 Yeah. 1042 00:46:22,405 --> 00:46:24,823 - Did we not frisk him? - I did! 1043 00:46:24,824 --> 00:46:26,074 I did, Jason, I swear. 1044 00:46:26,075 --> 00:46:27,826 It's just, I got super distracted 1045 00:46:27,827 --> 00:46:30,078 by his massive amount of foreskin, man. 1046 00:46:30,079 --> 00:46:31,788 It was like tickling a Shar Pei, man. 1047 00:46:31,789 --> 00:46:33,958 - You could feel all that? - Dude, you can see it! 1048 00:46:35,168 --> 00:46:38,462 Oh my God. Wow. You can see it. 1049 00:46:38,463 --> 00:46:40,047 - Yeah. - Very nice. 1050 00:46:40,048 --> 00:46:42,049 - What is it? - I don't know. 1051 00:46:42,050 --> 00:46:44,426 He told me it's like, a locating beacon 1052 00:46:44,427 --> 00:46:47,012 for if we ever get separated. 1053 00:46:47,013 --> 00:46:49,806 This is obviously just a black Rubik's cube. 1054 00:46:49,807 --> 00:46:52,100 Oh, I see what's happening. You think we're dumb. 1055 00:46:52,101 --> 00:46:53,810 No, no, no. No, no, no. 1056 00:46:53,811 --> 00:46:56,021 No, not at all. 1057 00:46:56,022 --> 00:46:58,148 I know my tech, and that is definitely 1058 00:46:58,149 --> 00:47:00,526 some Elder high tech right there. 1059 00:47:00,527 --> 00:47:01,860 Okay, fine. 1060 00:47:01,861 --> 00:47:03,320 How does it work, smart guy? 1061 00:47:03,321 --> 00:47:05,698 I-- I don't know. 1062 00:47:07,116 --> 00:47:08,450 Um... 1063 00:47:08,451 --> 00:47:10,035 What if I just, like, twist it? 1064 00:47:10,036 --> 00:47:11,578 - Good thinking. - Great. 1065 00:47:36,271 --> 00:47:38,647 ♪ Born a worm ♪ 1066 00:47:38,648 --> 00:47:41,024 ♪ Spins a cocoon ♪ 1067 00:47:41,025 --> 00:47:43,277 ♪ Goes to sleep ♪ 1068 00:47:43,278 --> 00:47:45,487 ♪ Wakes up a butterfly ♪ 1069 00:47:45,488 --> 00:47:49,993 ♪ Oh, what the fuck is that about? ♪ 1070 00:47:50,994 --> 00:47:55,330 ♪ What the fuck is that about? ♪ 1071 00:47:55,331 --> 00:47:59,918 ♪ Oooh-ooh ♪ 1072 00:47:59,919 --> 00:48:04,756 ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ 1073 00:48:04,757 --> 00:48:06,967 ♪ Oooh ♪ 1074 00:48:10,346 --> 00:48:12,723 There's Mr. Sleepy Head! 1075 00:48:12,724 --> 00:48:14,725 - What happened? - I don't know. 1076 00:48:14,726 --> 00:48:17,269 You were just having one crazy ass nightmare or something. 1077 00:48:17,270 --> 00:48:20,022 I'm just kidding. Jason Biggs really did kidnap you. 1078 00:48:20,023 --> 00:48:22,691 I figured you'd wander off at some point and get snagged 1079 00:48:22,692 --> 00:48:25,110 by one of his minions, so the beacon I gave you 1080 00:48:25,111 --> 00:48:26,778 was actually an Elder stun grenade. 1081 00:48:29,407 --> 00:48:32,577 What the fuck is going on?! 1082 00:48:34,662 --> 00:48:36,455 I haven't been completely honest with you. 1083 00:48:36,456 --> 00:48:37,706 No shit! 1084 00:48:37,707 --> 00:48:39,791 The police aren't the only ones that are after me. 1085 00:48:39,792 --> 00:48:42,544 I had in my possession extremely classified information. 1086 00:48:42,545 --> 00:48:44,463 Proof that aliens not only exist 1087 00:48:44,464 --> 00:48:45,839 but have been living amongst us 1088 00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:48,176 since the 1996 Summer Olympics. 1089 00:48:51,387 --> 00:48:54,222 You just had your first run-in with a member of the Coalition. 1090 00:48:54,223 --> 00:48:57,601 They're a group of tech giants and celebrities and politicians 1091 00:48:57,602 --> 00:48:59,311 who have been secretly dealing with 1092 00:48:59,312 --> 00:49:01,938 said extra-terrestrial beings, we call them "Elders," 1093 00:49:01,939 --> 00:49:04,942 selling Earth's natural resources for decades. 1094 00:49:09,864 --> 00:49:12,783 The Coalition agreed to let the Elders suck the Earth dry 1095 00:49:12,784 --> 00:49:14,201 under two conditions. 1096 00:49:14,202 --> 00:49:15,994 One, that they would provide space shuttles 1097 00:49:15,995 --> 00:49:17,245 to go to a new habitable world, 1098 00:49:17,246 --> 00:49:20,583 and two, that they'd get 10% of the back end. 1099 00:49:24,045 --> 00:49:26,088 Why do you think so many rich and famous people 1100 00:49:26,089 --> 00:49:28,423 have been dying at such a rapid pace these last few years? 1101 00:49:28,424 --> 00:49:30,133 Take Jason Biggs, for instance. 1102 00:49:30,134 --> 00:49:31,593 It's because they're not dying! 1103 00:49:31,594 --> 00:49:33,804 They're covering up for the fact that they are leaving 1104 00:49:33,805 --> 00:49:35,722 this God-forsaken rock for greener pastures. 1105 00:49:35,723 --> 00:49:36,973 I didn't believe it either 1106 00:49:36,974 --> 00:49:38,809 until I saw Jason Biggs face down in a mango. 1107 00:49:38,810 --> 00:49:41,228 It might be the most insane conspiracy theory on the planet, 1108 00:49:41,229 --> 00:49:42,979 but if everything Danny is saying is true, 1109 00:49:42,980 --> 00:49:45,399 then we've gotta do something about it. 1110 00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:47,818 I don't care! 1111 00:49:47,819 --> 00:49:50,237 Stop involving me in this! 1112 00:49:50,238 --> 00:49:52,531 We want to let the world know that the planet 1113 00:49:52,532 --> 00:49:54,408 is being sold off by the Coalition. 1114 00:49:54,409 --> 00:49:55,742 I don't care! 1115 00:49:55,743 --> 00:49:57,869 I just want to go to Ottawa! That's it! 1116 00:49:57,870 --> 00:49:59,121 We're gonna make it to Ottawa, 1117 00:49:59,122 --> 00:50:00,497 and you're gonna get there on time. 1118 00:50:00,498 --> 00:50:02,499 And once the whistle is blown, no one can touch us. 1119 00:50:02,500 --> 00:50:04,126 Like Snowden and other tattletales, 1120 00:50:04,127 --> 00:50:06,294 we'll be protected and our names will be cleared. 1121 00:50:06,295 --> 00:50:08,630 But you're gonna have to stick with us. 1122 00:50:08,631 --> 00:50:10,090 Okay, buddy? 1123 00:50:10,091 --> 00:50:11,675 How do you feel about that? 1124 00:50:19,559 --> 00:50:21,351 God damn Coalition. 1125 00:50:21,352 --> 00:50:23,395 We don't have time for this. 1126 00:50:23,396 --> 00:50:24,897 Ooh. 1127 00:50:35,074 --> 00:50:36,700 You all right? 1128 00:50:36,701 --> 00:50:38,410 I just wanted a better life. 1129 00:50:38,411 --> 00:50:41,037 A fresh start in a new place. 1130 00:50:41,038 --> 00:50:44,332 You'll get it... one way or another. 1131 00:50:44,333 --> 00:50:48,044 Look at what he has done to me. 1132 00:50:48,045 --> 00:50:50,213 Oh, wait, you can't, 1133 00:50:50,214 --> 00:50:54,134 because you prefer to be blind! 1134 00:50:54,135 --> 00:50:55,510 This isn't normal! 1135 00:50:55,511 --> 00:50:57,137 There's no such thing as normal, Luke. 1136 00:50:57,138 --> 00:50:58,597 Look, I used to have 1137 00:50:58,598 --> 00:51:00,223 a strong narrative that I believed in. 1138 00:51:00,224 --> 00:51:01,850 - Stay back! - But after my mom's death, 1139 00:51:01,851 --> 00:51:03,685 and losing everything to a houseboat fire, 1140 00:51:03,686 --> 00:51:05,479 I realized the only way I was going to survive 1141 00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:08,356 this chaotic world is if I just kept admitting to myself 1142 00:51:08,357 --> 00:51:09,816 that I don't get it. 1143 00:51:09,817 --> 00:51:12,444 I had to accept the absurdity, accept the chaos. 1144 00:51:12,445 --> 00:51:14,488 Accept the Todd Simmons of it all. 1145 00:51:14,489 --> 00:51:16,783 Okay, we've gotta go. Right now. 1146 00:51:24,207 --> 00:51:27,459 Hey, boss, can... I just have, like, a couple of notes 1147 00:51:27,460 --> 00:51:31,129 but like, I don't want you to take this the wrong way. Okay? 1148 00:51:31,130 --> 00:51:32,839 - Yeah. Sure, sure, sure. - Okay, 1149 00:51:32,840 --> 00:51:35,008 sometimes I feel like we can, um, like, 1150 00:51:35,009 --> 00:51:38,970 shorten the time between, like, talking to the people 1151 00:51:38,971 --> 00:51:41,014 - and, like, killing them. - That's a good note. 1152 00:51:41,015 --> 00:51:42,641 Good note. Thank you. 1153 00:51:42,642 --> 00:51:44,643 You know, the power that you exude 1154 00:51:44,644 --> 00:51:46,853 when you, like, say less, is, wow. 1155 00:51:46,854 --> 00:51:49,105 I understand what you're saying. I get it. I get it. 1156 00:51:49,106 --> 00:51:51,107 - Thank you, Tiago. - But, like, do you, though? 1157 00:51:51,108 --> 00:51:52,901 Yes, Tiago! I said I get it. 1158 00:51:52,902 --> 00:51:54,195 God. 1159 00:51:59,826 --> 00:52:02,410 I have what you seek. If you'd like to end this race, 1160 00:52:02,411 --> 00:52:04,162 come to the following coordinates 1161 00:52:04,163 --> 00:52:06,414 with $27.7 million dollars 1162 00:52:06,415 --> 00:52:09,584 in a large Gucci Vuitton briefcase. 1163 00:52:09,585 --> 00:52:11,503 This is Klyle, by the way. 1164 00:52:11,504 --> 00:52:14,965 You know I don't mess around. 1165 00:52:18,719 --> 00:52:20,136 How do I turn this off? 1166 00:52:20,137 --> 00:52:22,639 I was not shitting. 1167 00:52:25,935 --> 00:52:27,436 Did you hear that? 1168 00:52:28,980 --> 00:52:30,355 No, I'm pretty far away. 1169 00:52:30,356 --> 00:52:31,940 - What? - No. 1170 00:52:31,941 --> 00:52:34,901 - 'Cause I'm pretty far away. - Okay. 1171 00:52:34,902 --> 00:52:38,655 Hey, Tiago, what rhymes with "12:30 am"? 1172 00:52:38,656 --> 00:52:40,615 - Phlegm. - Phlegm! Okay, yeah. 1173 00:52:40,616 --> 00:52:42,200 I can make that work. 1174 00:52:42,201 --> 00:52:45,287 Oh. Looks like Klyle just crossed the border. 1175 00:52:45,288 --> 00:52:46,621 How do you know? 1176 00:52:46,622 --> 00:52:49,165 Same reason I knew where Luke was... microchips. 1177 00:52:49,166 --> 00:52:51,334 You see, your soccer mom conspiracy theorist 1178 00:52:51,335 --> 00:52:53,795 thinks that the government tracks us through vaccines. 1179 00:52:53,796 --> 00:52:56,381 Not true. In fact, not even the Elders have that kind of tech. 1180 00:52:56,382 --> 00:52:58,258 No, it's any time you go get your teeth cleaned 1181 00:52:58,259 --> 00:53:00,927 or a cavity filled, the dentist injects you with microchips. 1182 00:53:00,928 --> 00:53:03,221 So, you're saying all dentists are actually undercover 1183 00:53:03,222 --> 00:53:04,973 - government agents? - Contractors, yes. 1184 00:53:04,974 --> 00:53:06,975 Think about it. I mean, have you ever met a dentist 1185 00:53:06,976 --> 00:53:09,644 that doesn't seem like they're hiding some horrible secret? 1186 00:53:09,645 --> 00:53:10,979 The answer is no. 1187 00:53:10,980 --> 00:53:13,398 So, what's our plan for crossing, badger? 1188 00:53:13,399 --> 00:53:15,984 Oh, hah! 1189 00:53:18,613 --> 00:53:20,822 Now it's time for you to get a taste of your own bullshit! 1190 00:53:20,823 --> 00:53:22,073 Go on, tell him, Allison. 1191 00:53:22,074 --> 00:53:23,950 Tell him that you-- you're not really a badger 1192 00:53:23,951 --> 00:53:25,869 or whatever the fuck. Or no, no, better yet, 1193 00:53:25,870 --> 00:53:28,371 why don't you say... 1194 00:53:28,372 --> 00:53:30,790 "I haven't been completely honest with you, Danny." 1195 00:53:30,791 --> 00:53:32,375 Luke, I don't think you-- 1196 00:53:32,376 --> 00:53:35,087 No, no! Just, tell him the truth. 1197 00:53:37,131 --> 00:53:39,883 I haven't been completely honest with you, Danny. 1198 00:53:39,884 --> 00:53:42,302 Ha-ha! 1199 00:53:42,303 --> 00:53:44,054 What do you mean? 1200 00:53:48,559 --> 00:53:52,604 I mean... the subterranean bobsled track that was 1201 00:53:52,605 --> 00:53:54,439 big enough to smuggle cars collapsed last fall. 1202 00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:56,232 We're gonna have to pass through cross point 11 1203 00:53:56,233 --> 00:53:58,109 using a basic diversion tactic. From 3pm to 5pm there are 1204 00:53:58,110 --> 00:53:59,819 only two agents stopping us from getting across. 1205 00:53:59,820 --> 00:54:01,529 From there, it's a straight shot to highway 34. 1206 00:54:01,530 --> 00:54:03,490 God damn it! 1207 00:54:03,491 --> 00:54:05,784 So, your subterranean bobsled track, that's like, 1208 00:54:05,785 --> 00:54:07,786 a Canadian version of an Underground Railroad. 1209 00:54:07,787 --> 00:54:09,329 - Shut up! - Would've been perfect. 1210 00:54:09,330 --> 00:54:12,123 No matter. So, what's your diversion plan? 1211 00:54:12,124 --> 00:54:14,292 I'll leave that up to you, but it's gotta be big. 1212 00:54:14,293 --> 00:54:16,503 Afterwards, meet up at these coordinates just north 1213 00:54:16,504 --> 00:54:18,380 - of the border. - Copy that. Roger. 1214 00:54:18,381 --> 00:54:20,048 Over and out. 1215 00:54:20,049 --> 00:54:21,967 These days, its hard to hold anyone's attention, 1216 00:54:21,968 --> 00:54:24,177 so it's gotta make as little sense as possible. 1217 00:54:24,178 --> 00:54:25,805 We need to make a few stops. 1218 00:54:37,650 --> 00:54:40,694 Phew! Well, that went smoothly. 1219 00:54:40,695 --> 00:54:42,320 Okay. According to Klyle's teeth, 1220 00:54:42,321 --> 00:54:44,322 he's just off the main road by Big Mountain Crest. 1221 00:54:44,323 --> 00:54:46,324 Aren't you even gonna ask me how I made it look like 1222 00:54:46,325 --> 00:54:48,201 I sucked the blood out of that live chicken 1223 00:54:48,202 --> 00:54:52,080 without actually having-- 1224 00:55:15,563 --> 00:55:17,814 Bawk-bawk. Bawk... 1225 00:55:17,815 --> 00:55:19,441 What happened? 1226 00:55:19,442 --> 00:55:21,860 Is that rhetorical, or can you actually not see? 1227 00:55:21,861 --> 00:55:23,195 Both. 1228 00:55:29,660 --> 00:55:30,995 Whoa. 1229 00:55:32,329 --> 00:55:35,081 I can tell by Klyle's teeth he's still alive. 1230 00:55:35,082 --> 00:55:37,167 We just have to follow his tracks. 1231 00:55:37,168 --> 00:55:40,170 You can see here, he was dragged off by several people 1232 00:55:40,171 --> 00:55:42,922 or one person who was really good at break dancing. 1233 00:55:42,923 --> 00:55:45,091 We'll go with the former. 1234 00:55:49,555 --> 00:55:50,638 You okay, bud? 1235 00:55:50,639 --> 00:55:52,348 Oh, yeah. I'm totally cool, man. 1236 00:55:52,349 --> 00:55:54,017 I know that look. 1237 00:55:54,018 --> 00:55:56,478 You look like you're about to have as psychotic break. 1238 00:55:56,479 --> 00:55:58,688 Right again, Danny! 1239 00:55:58,689 --> 00:56:00,607 You've actually been right about a lot lately. 1240 00:56:00,608 --> 00:56:02,609 - But? - No, there's no "but," man. 1241 00:56:02,610 --> 00:56:04,861 You're fucking Galileo. You're-- You're-- 1242 00:56:04,862 --> 00:56:06,362 You're the boy with the wolf. 1243 00:56:06,363 --> 00:56:08,198 In fact, I can't believe I'm about to say this 1244 00:56:08,199 --> 00:56:10,658 after everything you've put me through, but... 1245 00:56:10,659 --> 00:56:12,994 I am sorry for ever doubting you. 1246 00:56:12,995 --> 00:56:16,122 You clearly know more about how the world works than I do. 1247 00:56:16,123 --> 00:56:18,500 In fact, I would give you a hug right now, 1248 00:56:18,501 --> 00:56:19,667 if I could, but you know. 1249 00:56:19,668 --> 00:56:21,836 Well, that's so sweet. 1250 00:56:21,837 --> 00:56:24,672 I'm glad you finally came around. 1251 00:56:24,673 --> 00:56:26,217 Yeah. 1252 00:56:27,551 --> 00:56:29,052 Aww. Love you, man. 1253 00:56:29,053 --> 00:56:30,678 Love you too. 1254 00:56:32,765 --> 00:56:34,474 - Fuck! - No! No! Back off! 1255 00:56:34,475 --> 00:56:36,017 - Back off! - Calm down! 1256 00:56:36,018 --> 00:56:39,020 I am calm. I am being calm. I am the only one whose calm. 1257 00:56:39,021 --> 00:56:40,271 No, no, no, no! 1258 00:56:40,272 --> 00:56:41,815 That's better. Ow! 1259 00:56:41,816 --> 00:56:43,858 What are you doing? 1260 00:56:46,904 --> 00:56:48,530 Ooh! 1261 00:56:48,531 --> 00:56:50,740 Fuck! Stop! Jesus Christ! 1262 00:56:50,741 --> 00:56:52,408 Focus on the eyes, look me in the eyes. 1263 00:56:52,409 --> 00:56:53,660 - You look at me! - Calm down. 1264 00:56:53,661 --> 00:56:55,453 You can't even see! You can't see any of this! 1265 00:56:55,454 --> 00:56:57,247 Get some fucking glasses! 1266 00:56:57,248 --> 00:56:59,415 What? No! Stop. Okay, enough! 1267 00:56:59,416 --> 00:57:01,042 Fuck. Ah. 1268 00:57:01,043 --> 00:57:02,794 Ow, fuck! I did too much. Gimme one more. 1269 00:57:02,795 --> 00:57:05,421 Ah! Now we're even. Okay. 1270 00:57:08,175 --> 00:57:10,051 No, no, wait! Wait! What about our deal? 1271 00:57:10,052 --> 00:57:12,011 - I'm dealing with this. - Hey, a deal is a deal. 1272 00:57:12,012 --> 00:57:14,556 We signed the contract in Taco Gary's guacamole picante. 1273 00:57:14,557 --> 00:57:16,432 - I did my part. - Okay. 1274 00:57:16,433 --> 00:57:18,935 Take your damn ticket. 1275 00:57:18,936 --> 00:57:20,104 Wait up! 1276 00:57:21,147 --> 00:57:22,690 Good luck. 1277 00:57:24,692 --> 00:57:26,110 Got the golden ticket. 1278 00:57:27,319 --> 00:57:28,778 Not bad, bro! 1279 00:57:28,779 --> 00:57:30,613 I'm proud of you for taking the initiative. 1280 00:57:30,614 --> 00:57:32,448 You don't need me anymore. Let me go. 1281 00:57:32,449 --> 00:57:34,284 There's no point in leaving, Luke. 1282 00:57:34,285 --> 00:57:37,121 I haven't been completely honest with you. 1283 00:57:38,789 --> 00:57:40,540 There is no job in Ottawa. 1284 00:57:40,541 --> 00:57:41,958 Nice try. Go fuck yourself! 1285 00:57:41,959 --> 00:57:44,127 There's not. I made the whole thing up. 1286 00:57:44,128 --> 00:57:45,587 It's not gonna work! 1287 00:57:45,588 --> 00:57:47,255 All right, if you don't believe me, 1288 00:57:47,256 --> 00:57:49,090 take the name of that new dinosaur, 1289 00:57:49,091 --> 00:57:51,926 "Snommisddot," and spell it backwards. 1290 00:57:51,927 --> 00:57:53,595 As if! 1291 00:57:53,596 --> 00:57:56,139 That's-- That's just the stupidest thing I ever... 1292 00:58:02,104 --> 00:58:04,355 No. No... 1293 00:58:04,356 --> 00:58:06,649 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1294 00:58:06,650 --> 00:58:08,860 It spells "Todd Simmons," doesn't it. 1295 00:58:10,487 --> 00:58:12,864 I'm sorry, brother, but the ends justify the beans, okay? 1296 00:58:12,865 --> 00:58:14,867 This is for your own good. 1297 00:58:16,535 --> 00:58:18,953 It was you? 1298 00:58:18,954 --> 00:58:23,875 This whole time, the months of emails. 1299 00:58:23,876 --> 00:58:26,753 And the calls. 1300 00:58:26,754 --> 00:58:29,047 The fucking femur bone? 1301 00:58:29,048 --> 00:58:31,966 Yeah, it was a lot of work, 1302 00:58:31,967 --> 00:58:34,845 but I knew it was the only way to safely get you to Ottawa. 1303 00:58:36,597 --> 00:58:38,306 Why do you hate me so much? 1304 00:58:38,307 --> 00:58:40,850 I don't hate you. I love you! 1305 00:58:40,851 --> 00:58:42,810 And it doesn't change anything. 1306 00:58:42,811 --> 00:58:44,604 Whether you like it or not, 1307 00:58:44,605 --> 00:58:46,105 I'm the one that got you into this mess 1308 00:58:46,106 --> 00:58:47,649 and I'm the only one who can get you out, 1309 00:58:47,650 --> 00:58:49,108 so, we have to stick together. 1310 00:58:49,109 --> 00:58:50,777 Alright, look, feel free to punch me. 1311 00:58:50,778 --> 00:58:52,195 I deserve it. Come on. Let me have it. 1312 00:58:52,196 --> 00:58:53,948 I can't feel my face anyways. 1313 00:59:10,297 --> 00:59:12,423 Come on, bro, I'm sorry! 1314 00:59:12,424 --> 00:59:15,094 Just let me explain everything, all right? 1315 00:59:20,182 --> 00:59:23,726 Klyle, you dirty piece of shit. 1316 00:59:23,727 --> 00:59:25,561 I know exactly what happened here. 1317 00:59:25,562 --> 00:59:27,689 He's trying to give the prize back to the Coalition 1318 00:59:27,690 --> 00:59:29,691 but got taken instead! 1319 00:59:29,692 --> 00:59:32,819 The backstabber becomes the back stabbed, stabbee, 1320 00:59:32,820 --> 00:59:35,571 got-stabbed-in-the-back guy. 1321 00:59:35,572 --> 00:59:37,865 If he only knew that money would be completely worthless 1322 00:59:37,866 --> 00:59:39,492 in two weeks, anyways. 1323 00:59:42,037 --> 00:59:43,579 Who is that? 1324 00:59:43,580 --> 00:59:45,832 That's... it's Jason Biggs. 1325 00:59:45,833 --> 00:59:48,960 He's trying to... Never mind. 1326 00:59:48,961 --> 00:59:51,254 Watch your knees. There we go. There we go. 1327 00:59:51,255 --> 00:59:52,714 Okay, do the rope. 1328 00:59:52,715 --> 00:59:53,965 Rope, rope, rope, rope. 1329 00:59:53,966 --> 00:59:55,133 Huh? Huh? 1330 00:59:55,134 --> 00:59:57,385 Yeah, there we go. Okay. Very "hostage." 1331 00:59:57,386 --> 00:59:59,178 Hey, hey, look at me. No, look at me. 1332 00:59:59,179 --> 01:00:01,222 I'm not the bad guy, okay? 1333 01:00:01,223 --> 01:00:03,057 I'm as much as a victim as you are. 1334 01:00:03,058 --> 01:00:05,393 You think I want to be here? I don't wanna be doing this. 1335 01:00:05,394 --> 01:00:07,520 Neither do I! That's why I'm out of here. 1336 01:00:09,273 --> 01:00:10,606 Oh, shit. 1337 01:00:10,607 --> 01:00:12,817 I believe he's trying to kick us. 1338 01:00:12,818 --> 01:00:13,985 Sweep! 1339 01:00:13,986 --> 01:00:16,279 And that's why you never take martial arts lessons 1340 01:00:16,280 --> 01:00:18,364 from Cash Israel. It's all leg sweeps. 1341 01:00:18,365 --> 01:00:19,949 - Sweep! Marco. - Polo. 1342 01:00:19,950 --> 01:00:21,617 - Okay. - No, oh, the sweep. 1343 01:00:21,618 --> 01:00:23,619 Go over there. 1344 01:00:23,620 --> 01:00:25,538 - Marco. - Polo. 1345 01:00:25,539 --> 01:00:27,040 - Now go over there. - Sweep! 1346 01:00:27,041 --> 01:00:28,207 Polo! 1347 01:00:28,208 --> 01:00:30,418 Take the two of you at once! 1348 01:00:30,419 --> 01:00:31,794 What in the world is he doing? 1349 01:00:31,795 --> 01:00:34,255 Axe kick! I need a break. Hey, hey. 1350 01:00:34,256 --> 01:00:36,090 - Let me catch my... - Hey come... 1351 01:00:36,091 --> 01:00:37,884 - Okay. - Let's lay down over here, man. 1352 01:00:37,885 --> 01:00:39,844 - Is this a rest area? - Yeah, rest area. 1353 01:00:39,845 --> 01:00:41,512 Just watch your knees, watch the knees. 1354 01:00:41,513 --> 01:00:43,348 ...some electrolytes. 1355 01:00:43,349 --> 01:00:44,474 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got you. 1356 01:00:44,475 --> 01:00:46,393 Holy shit! 1357 01:00:48,520 --> 01:00:50,938 Oh God! No, no, no! This was supposed to... 1358 01:00:50,939 --> 01:00:52,482 Go check the minivan. 1359 01:00:52,483 --> 01:00:53,858 It's gotta be in there somewhere. 1360 01:00:53,859 --> 01:00:55,485 Yes, they don't have it yet! 1361 01:00:55,486 --> 01:00:56,903 - Hold my waist! - Okay, I got you. 1362 01:00:56,904 --> 01:00:59,155 Wait a minute. Do you remember when Klyle was talking 1363 01:00:59,156 --> 01:01:01,032 about a secret smuggling compartment under 1364 01:01:01,033 --> 01:01:03,534 - the minivan passenger seat? - Holy shit. They killed him. 1365 01:01:03,535 --> 01:01:04,869 Yes, it has to be there! 1366 01:01:04,870 --> 01:01:06,204 Come on. 1367 01:01:07,831 --> 01:01:10,583 Come on, bro! 1368 01:01:10,584 --> 01:01:12,210 Ah! 1369 01:01:12,211 --> 01:01:15,129 She stranded us here! I should have known better. 1370 01:01:15,130 --> 01:01:16,923 It's like Todd Simmons always said-- 1371 01:01:16,924 --> 01:01:19,927 - Danny! - Hang on. Hang on. 1372 01:01:21,303 --> 01:01:22,345 I think it's in here. 1373 01:01:22,346 --> 01:01:24,555 I got it! I got it! 1374 01:01:24,556 --> 01:01:25,765 I found it! I got it! 1375 01:01:25,766 --> 01:01:27,725 - I don't care. - Well, you should care. 1376 01:01:27,726 --> 01:01:29,477 This is probably the most important thing 1377 01:01:29,478 --> 01:01:30,895 that you'll ever-- 1378 01:01:30,896 --> 01:01:31,897 Ah! Shit! 1379 01:01:35,359 --> 01:01:36,692 Sir! 1380 01:01:36,693 --> 01:01:38,111 Can I have a hug? 1381 01:01:38,112 --> 01:01:40,781 Sir! Can I just please have one hug? 1382 01:01:43,117 --> 01:01:45,244 Sorry, man. 1383 01:01:46,703 --> 01:01:49,038 Oh, let's do this. 1384 01:01:49,039 --> 01:01:50,998 Wait, how many times did you tranq me again? 1385 01:01:50,999 --> 01:01:52,166 I don't know, like, five. 1386 01:01:52,167 --> 01:01:56,212 I... need a bump... of coke... Oh, dear. 1387 01:01:56,213 --> 01:01:58,089 You gotta be kidding me! 1388 01:01:59,174 --> 01:02:01,510 Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Ah! 1389 01:02:03,554 --> 01:02:06,432 Come on. 1390 01:02:15,315 --> 01:02:18,776 Oh! Okay! Uh... 1391 01:02:18,777 --> 01:02:20,153 Whoa! 1392 01:02:20,154 --> 01:02:22,405 Sorry, Danny. Okay. 1393 01:02:22,406 --> 01:02:25,032 What the fuck? No. 1394 01:02:25,033 --> 01:02:27,535 Oh, God. 1395 01:02:27,536 --> 01:02:28,786 Too many fucking pedals! 1396 01:02:30,497 --> 01:02:32,499 Ah! How does this work? Fuck! 1397 01:02:37,838 --> 01:02:40,382 No, leave me alone! 1398 01:02:41,383 --> 01:02:42,426 Fuck! 1399 01:02:43,677 --> 01:02:46,596 Oh, okay, okay, okay. 1400 01:02:46,597 --> 01:02:48,431 Hang on, Danny! 1401 01:03:17,377 --> 01:03:19,254 Welcome back to Taco Gary's. 1402 01:03:20,797 --> 01:03:23,300 Check your weapons in with me, sir. 1403 01:03:27,971 --> 01:03:29,472 Okay. 1404 01:03:29,473 --> 01:03:31,307 Voice on speaker: ...siesta at Taco Gary's, 1405 01:03:31,308 --> 01:03:34,185 so eat up like there's not tomorrow. 1406 01:03:34,186 --> 01:03:36,229 Okay. 1407 01:03:36,230 --> 01:03:37,355 Okay, buddy. Wakey-wakey. 1408 01:03:39,441 --> 01:03:42,026 Ah! Whoo! Mmm. Mmm. 1409 01:03:42,027 --> 01:03:43,569 It's okay, it's okay. You're safe now. 1410 01:03:43,570 --> 01:03:45,738 What happened? Where are we? Are we on the shuttle? 1411 01:03:45,739 --> 01:03:48,032 No, we're at Taco Gary's. You passed out. 1412 01:03:48,033 --> 01:03:49,283 - Really? - Yeah. 1413 01:03:49,284 --> 01:03:50,743 That doesn't sound like me. 1414 01:03:50,744 --> 01:03:53,204 I must've been trying to teach you a valuable life lesson 1415 01:03:53,205 --> 01:03:54,497 - or something. - Hey, guys. 1416 01:03:54,498 --> 01:03:57,583 I've gotta say, this has been a blast. Really. 1417 01:03:57,584 --> 01:04:00,920 All the chasing and the shooting, wow! How fun. 1418 01:04:00,921 --> 01:04:02,880 - Okay, it has had its moments. - Come on, right? 1419 01:04:02,881 --> 01:04:03,965 Yeah, it has. 1420 01:04:03,966 --> 01:04:05,466 We've been having a great time. 1421 01:04:05,467 --> 01:04:07,093 What was your favorite, like... 1422 01:04:07,094 --> 01:04:08,928 Marco Polo was funny. That was really funny, 1423 01:04:08,929 --> 01:04:10,513 watching him run around, he was like... 1424 01:04:10,514 --> 01:04:12,515 - Like, kicking... - He thought there were like, 1425 01:04:12,516 --> 01:04:14,225 six of you. It was great. 1426 01:04:14,226 --> 01:04:17,061 - Anyways, please hand it over. - Oh, you want it? 1427 01:04:17,062 --> 01:04:18,646 - Okay, listen. - This motherfucker. 1428 01:04:18,647 --> 01:04:20,189 We are aware-- 1429 01:04:20,190 --> 01:04:21,274 Okay. 1430 01:04:21,275 --> 01:04:23,234 We are aware of the Taco Gary's truce, 1431 01:04:23,235 --> 01:04:25,319 but you're gonna have to leave eventually 1432 01:04:25,320 --> 01:04:26,612 if you want to catch that shuttle. 1433 01:04:26,613 --> 01:04:28,114 Oh, really, so you can kill us too? 1434 01:04:28,115 --> 01:04:29,991 If you just hand over the ticket, 1435 01:04:29,992 --> 01:04:32,159 we will let bygones be bygones. 1436 01:04:32,160 --> 01:04:34,161 You blew my best friend's head off. 1437 01:04:34,162 --> 01:04:36,455 Mmm, he said you were just associates. 1438 01:04:36,456 --> 01:04:39,333 No! We were best-- 1439 01:04:39,334 --> 01:04:41,252 actually, you know what, I never really liked the guy. 1440 01:04:41,253 --> 01:04:42,878 Hey, guys, look me in the eyeball. 1441 01:04:42,879 --> 01:04:45,590 Right here, okay. Last chance to save your skins. 1442 01:04:45,591 --> 01:04:46,966 Please just fucking hand it over. 1443 01:04:46,967 --> 01:04:48,509 Yeah, just give it back to 'em, Danny. 1444 01:04:48,510 --> 01:04:50,386 No. Fuck you, Jason Biggs, 1445 01:04:50,387 --> 01:04:52,513 - and your Portuguese Popeye. - Super rude. 1446 01:04:52,514 --> 01:04:53,764 People need to know about this. 1447 01:04:53,765 --> 01:04:56,100 Why? So they can pretend they know what's best for humanity? 1448 01:04:56,101 --> 01:04:59,604 Please. Leave that to us celebrities. 1449 01:04:59,605 --> 01:05:01,522 Yeah, and celebrity-adjacent people. 1450 01:05:01,523 --> 01:05:03,274 - No. - You talked about this to me. 1451 01:05:03,275 --> 01:05:05,067 - Just celebrities. - Sorry I did it again. 1452 01:05:05,068 --> 01:05:06,902 That is enough. 1453 01:05:06,903 --> 01:05:08,155 Oh my goodness. 1454 01:05:10,907 --> 01:05:12,908 - What's this now? - It's a piss-eyed Elder. 1455 01:05:12,909 --> 01:05:14,578 - A what? - A fucking alien, dude. 1456 01:05:27,132 --> 01:05:29,091 You two. Stand up. 1457 01:05:29,092 --> 01:05:31,385 Your majesty, these are the ones that have-- 1458 01:05:31,386 --> 01:05:34,348 Silence. Unless you would like to ejaculate guacamole picante. 1459 01:05:35,641 --> 01:05:37,016 What? 1460 01:05:37,017 --> 01:05:39,018 I can make any human secrete guacamole picante 1461 01:05:39,019 --> 01:05:40,979 from any orifice. Behold. 1462 01:05:48,445 --> 01:05:49,737 See? 1463 01:05:49,738 --> 01:05:52,782 What do you want, you cunt-quistador? 1464 01:05:52,783 --> 01:05:55,951 Clever. Follow me. 1465 01:05:55,952 --> 01:05:58,372 Daniel, Lucas. 1466 01:05:59,373 --> 01:06:01,500 We travel by silver Sonic. 1467 01:06:02,959 --> 01:06:05,044 No one would suspect the master race of the galaxy 1468 01:06:05,045 --> 01:06:07,505 to drive a spacious yet affordable compact sedan. 1469 01:06:07,506 --> 01:06:09,965 A great cover with a great turning radius. 1470 01:06:09,966 --> 01:06:11,425 Just get to the point. 1471 01:06:11,426 --> 01:06:14,053 Ah, yes. I have been following you two for some time now. 1472 01:06:14,054 --> 01:06:15,179 Creepy. 1473 01:06:15,180 --> 01:06:16,972 You want to expose us. 1474 01:06:16,973 --> 01:06:18,224 Hell yeah, we do! 1475 01:06:18,225 --> 01:06:21,394 This can't be. How? Why is... 1476 01:06:21,395 --> 01:06:23,437 A galactic super race interested in Earth? 1477 01:06:23,438 --> 01:06:24,647 I will soon show you. 1478 01:06:24,648 --> 01:06:26,691 Trust me, Luke, you don't want to know. 1479 01:06:26,692 --> 01:06:29,110 No, no, no. He should know the whole truth. 1480 01:06:30,237 --> 01:06:32,822 We are here for the same reason why your people invade, 1481 01:06:32,823 --> 01:06:34,865 well, anywhere. 1482 01:06:34,866 --> 01:06:37,118 - Oil. - For fuck's sakes! 1483 01:06:37,119 --> 01:06:38,994 Yes, it is true. 1484 01:06:38,995 --> 01:06:41,372 Every planet in the galaxy runs on oil. 1485 01:06:41,373 --> 01:06:43,708 Told you, Luke. It's fucking bonkers. 1486 01:06:43,709 --> 01:06:45,292 We are currently collecting the last 1487 01:06:45,293 --> 01:06:46,752 of your earthly reserves. 1488 01:06:46,753 --> 01:06:48,754 Once our extraction is complete, 1489 01:06:48,755 --> 01:06:51,549 we plan on exterminating all life on this planet. 1490 01:06:51,550 --> 01:06:52,591 Why?! 1491 01:06:52,592 --> 01:06:54,343 Dead organic material 1492 01:06:54,344 --> 01:06:56,512 mixes with other sediment when buried. 1493 01:06:56,513 --> 01:06:58,013 Over millions of years, 1494 01:06:58,014 --> 01:06:59,849 under high pressure and high temperature, 1495 01:06:59,850 --> 01:07:02,643 the remains of these organisms transform into 1496 01:07:02,644 --> 01:07:05,563 what we know as fossil fuels. 1497 01:07:05,564 --> 01:07:07,314 By exterminating all life, 1498 01:07:07,315 --> 01:07:09,233 we are simply creating a new oil reserve 1499 01:07:09,234 --> 01:07:11,694 to be harvested in 16 million years, 1500 01:07:11,695 --> 01:07:14,363 which, to an Elder, is not long at all. 1501 01:07:14,364 --> 01:07:15,948 We did the same process 1502 01:07:15,949 --> 01:07:18,367 with the organisms you call "dinosaurs". 1503 01:07:18,368 --> 01:07:20,411 You killed the dinosaurs? 1504 01:07:20,412 --> 01:07:23,038 Literally my one and only interest? 1505 01:07:23,039 --> 01:07:25,082 - Told ya you weren't ready. - No. No. No, no, no. 1506 01:07:25,083 --> 01:07:27,668 This doesn't make any sense, because if you can fly 1507 01:07:27,669 --> 01:07:29,503 through space and live for millions of years, 1508 01:07:29,504 --> 01:07:31,797 then why don't you just synthesize your own fucking oil? 1509 01:07:31,798 --> 01:07:33,966 Well, it is very political. 1510 01:07:33,967 --> 01:07:36,218 Too many jobs would be lost 1511 01:07:36,219 --> 01:07:38,095 by transitioning to greener hyper coils. 1512 01:07:38,096 --> 01:07:39,638 Fucking unions. 1513 01:07:39,639 --> 01:07:41,974 However, we are not barbarian invaders. 1514 01:07:41,975 --> 01:07:44,810 Therefore, we have made a deal with your chieftains. 1515 01:07:44,811 --> 01:07:48,063 In exchange for the oil and destruction of all life, 1516 01:07:48,064 --> 01:07:51,358 we have allowed for passage to a brand-new planet development 1517 01:07:51,359 --> 01:07:54,320 in the midwestern Milky Way. 1518 01:07:54,321 --> 01:07:56,239 I think I'm going to throw up. 1519 01:07:58,200 --> 01:08:00,075 Was it something I said? 1520 01:08:00,076 --> 01:08:02,328 Uh, yeah! It's everything you said. 1521 01:08:02,329 --> 01:08:05,206 Listen, human. 1522 01:08:05,207 --> 01:08:08,083 We Elders are not without our empathy. 1523 01:08:08,084 --> 01:08:12,546 I feel your plight, and your anguish. 1524 01:08:12,547 --> 01:08:14,173 Cool. 1525 01:08:14,174 --> 01:08:15,925 You'll be glad to know that I will asking 1526 01:08:15,926 --> 01:08:18,177 our board of directors for a 100 year delay 1527 01:08:18,178 --> 01:08:20,095 in humanity's destruction. 1528 01:08:20,096 --> 01:08:22,389 - A hundred years? - Yes. 1529 01:08:22,390 --> 01:08:26,936 All you must do is continue to keep our existence a secret. 1530 01:08:26,937 --> 01:08:28,562 Why? I wasn't sworn to anything. 1531 01:08:28,563 --> 01:08:30,272 I'm not part of the Coalition. 1532 01:08:30,273 --> 01:08:32,984 You are now. 1533 01:08:45,956 --> 01:08:48,207 Fuck it. 1534 01:08:48,208 --> 01:08:50,668 And I will transfer the $27.7 million 1535 01:08:50,669 --> 01:08:53,379 into your bank account immediately. 1536 01:08:53,380 --> 01:08:55,257 - Was that all? - You're forgetting one thing. 1537 01:08:56,424 --> 01:08:59,552 Ah, yes. I will also free the squid people 1538 01:08:59,553 --> 01:09:01,262 underneath Santa Fe, New Mexico. 1539 01:09:01,263 --> 01:09:03,430 Great. I've gotta hand it to you. 1540 01:09:03,431 --> 01:09:05,266 I was not expecting this 1541 01:09:05,267 --> 01:09:07,142 from a smug alien fuck like yourself, 1542 01:09:07,143 --> 01:09:09,270 but you've got yourself a deal. 1543 01:09:09,271 --> 01:09:11,897 Fantastic. Now we seal the agreement 1544 01:09:11,898 --> 01:09:13,274 with a simple genital cupping. 1545 01:09:13,275 --> 01:09:17,152 Of course we do. Fucking weirdos. 1546 01:09:17,153 --> 01:09:19,738 A little higher. 1547 01:09:19,739 --> 01:09:21,241 Oh, Jesus. 1548 01:09:23,493 --> 01:09:25,411 Come now. 1549 01:09:31,334 --> 01:09:33,002 Ow. 1550 01:09:33,003 --> 01:09:36,046 Oh, Dearlock... 1551 01:09:36,047 --> 01:09:37,840 There! Happy now? 1552 01:09:37,841 --> 01:09:39,341 We've got all the proof that you need, 1553 01:09:39,342 --> 01:09:41,427 and then we can just return the whatever-the-fuck 1554 01:09:41,428 --> 01:09:43,345 - to Jason, and-- - What the fuck are you doing, 1555 01:09:43,346 --> 01:09:45,848 you idiot?! We were just about to-- 1556 01:09:45,849 --> 01:09:47,683 Actually, you know what? Fuck it, it's better this way. 1557 01:09:47,684 --> 01:09:51,103 - Come on. Let's go. - What about the alien?! 1558 01:09:51,104 --> 01:09:54,023 Oh, yeah. Uh... 1559 01:09:54,024 --> 01:09:55,983 I haven't been completely honest with you. 1560 01:09:55,984 --> 01:09:57,985 God damn it! 1561 01:09:57,986 --> 01:09:59,778 The plan was never to reveal them to the world 1562 01:09:59,779 --> 01:10:01,113 or blow any whistles, okay? 1563 01:10:01,114 --> 01:10:03,490 Then why are you doing all of this? 1564 01:10:03,491 --> 01:10:07,369 What is the point? Why did I just assault a freakin' alien? 1565 01:10:07,370 --> 01:10:09,204 I didn't tell you to do that! Look, whatever, 1566 01:10:09,205 --> 01:10:11,540 the world's about to end and the shuttle's leaving today, 1567 01:10:11,541 --> 01:10:14,919 so forget this thing and its two-headed dick. Come on! 1568 01:10:25,597 --> 01:10:27,264 Please answer the question! 1569 01:10:27,265 --> 01:10:29,350 Why-- Why are you trying to fuck me over so hard? 1570 01:10:29,351 --> 01:10:30,768 Why am I here? 1571 01:10:30,769 --> 01:10:32,478 I told you! The shuttle is here. 1572 01:10:32,479 --> 01:10:35,105 What shuttle? 1573 01:10:35,106 --> 01:10:36,523 Fuck! 1574 01:10:36,524 --> 01:10:37,816 Oh! Bingo bongo. 1575 01:10:37,817 --> 01:10:39,777 Computerized voice: Coalition ID confirmed. 1576 01:10:39,778 --> 01:10:40,903 Welcome! 1577 01:10:40,904 --> 01:10:43,656 The entrance to the space port is around here somewhere. 1578 01:10:43,657 --> 01:10:46,408 I'm 99.7% sure this is where the Elders first made contact. 1579 01:10:46,409 --> 01:10:48,452 This is where they had their first Taco Gary's taco. 1580 01:10:48,453 --> 01:10:50,371 It has to be here. It could look like anything. 1581 01:10:50,372 --> 01:10:51,997 It could be tiny, it could be invisible, 1582 01:10:51,998 --> 01:10:53,875 it definitely won't look like a door. 1583 01:11:09,265 --> 01:11:11,267 Fuck! 1584 01:11:20,360 --> 01:11:21,402 Is this it? 1585 01:11:26,032 --> 01:11:28,283 Yes! Yes! 1586 01:11:28,284 --> 01:11:30,619 Good eye. Yes! 1587 01:11:30,620 --> 01:11:32,163 Come on. 1588 01:11:38,211 --> 01:11:40,171 Danny. Danny. Danny. 1589 01:11:43,466 --> 01:11:44,718 No! 1590 01:11:47,554 --> 01:11:49,555 Voice on speaker: ...Welcome to the Taco Gary's 1591 01:11:49,556 --> 01:11:52,349 Interstellar Space Port... 1592 01:11:52,350 --> 01:11:54,184 Holy shit. 1593 01:11:54,185 --> 01:11:55,311 Hmm? 1594 01:12:00,483 --> 01:12:02,568 Voice on speaker: Welcome to the Taco Gary's 1595 01:12:02,569 --> 01:12:07,072 Interstellar Space Port, located in beautiful Ottawa, 1596 01:12:07,073 --> 01:12:10,910 birthplace of the Bingo Bongo Burrito... 1597 01:12:21,421 --> 01:12:24,256 ...So, eat up, like there's no tomorrow! 1598 01:12:24,257 --> 01:12:25,966 Luke. 1599 01:12:25,967 --> 01:12:28,761 I haven't been completely honest with you. 1600 01:12:28,762 --> 01:12:30,971 - Yeah, I know that-- - But you don't know why. 1601 01:12:30,972 --> 01:12:34,183 The reason I haven't been completely honest with you 1602 01:12:34,184 --> 01:12:35,476 until this exact moment 1603 01:12:35,477 --> 01:12:37,811 is because you'd never believe it all at once. 1604 01:12:37,812 --> 01:12:39,021 Fair. 1605 01:12:39,022 --> 01:12:41,148 When I found out that we only had a couple weeks left, 1606 01:12:41,149 --> 01:12:43,525 I knew I had to get you on the last shuttle out of here. 1607 01:12:43,526 --> 01:12:45,778 And I know I've done nothing but lie to you, 1608 01:12:45,779 --> 01:12:49,198 but if there was ever a time for you to trust me, 1609 01:12:49,199 --> 01:12:51,408 it's right now. 1610 01:12:51,409 --> 01:12:53,660 So, you're gonna take this ticket. 1611 01:12:53,661 --> 01:12:56,080 And you're gonna get on that shuttle. 1612 01:12:56,081 --> 01:12:57,372 You know why? 1613 01:12:57,373 --> 01:12:59,792 'Cause your life depends on it. 1614 01:12:59,793 --> 01:13:01,251 Take it. 1615 01:13:01,252 --> 01:13:04,046 But it's my ticket! It was meant for me. 1616 01:13:04,047 --> 01:13:06,673 You are not seeming to grasp the complaint here. 1617 01:13:06,674 --> 01:13:08,217 Present it, and you may board. 1618 01:13:08,218 --> 01:13:10,511 - It was stolen! - Oh, that's too bad. 1619 01:13:10,512 --> 01:13:12,971 Possession may be nine tenths of the law for humans. 1620 01:13:12,972 --> 01:13:14,765 It is 100% for Elders. 1621 01:13:14,766 --> 01:13:16,391 We do not have laws against stealing. 1622 01:13:16,392 --> 01:13:17,518 What? Why not? 1623 01:13:17,519 --> 01:13:19,520 Because we do not steal. Duh. 1624 01:13:19,521 --> 01:13:22,523 Every Elders has what he, slash she, slash Gliborb needs. 1625 01:13:22,524 --> 01:13:23,607 Minus affordable gasoline. 1626 01:13:23,608 --> 01:13:24,900 - What was that? - What was that? 1627 01:13:24,901 --> 01:13:26,235 - Hmm? - What? 1628 01:13:26,236 --> 01:13:28,403 - Two dicks says what? - I missed that. What? 1629 01:13:28,404 --> 01:13:30,781 Look, this isn't fair. Okay? I faked my own death already! 1630 01:13:30,782 --> 01:13:33,492 I'm sorry, but no ticket, no boarding. 1631 01:13:33,493 --> 01:13:34,536 Jason, look! 1632 01:13:36,913 --> 01:13:39,414 Go! Go, go, go! 1633 01:13:39,415 --> 01:13:40,415 Next. 1634 01:13:40,416 --> 01:13:42,417 Voice on speaker: Attention, all passengers. 1635 01:13:42,418 --> 01:13:44,336 The shuttle will be boarding in seven minutes. 1636 01:13:44,337 --> 01:13:46,088 - But what about you? - Don't worry about me, 1637 01:13:46,089 --> 01:13:47,965 you've done enough of that in your life. Okay? 1638 01:13:47,966 --> 01:13:49,299 This is me returning the favor. 1639 01:13:49,300 --> 01:13:52,219 No, no, because if all that were true, then-- 1640 01:13:52,220 --> 01:13:54,429 then why me, man? 1641 01:13:54,430 --> 01:13:58,308 And why not like, a doctor or even a competent swimmer? 1642 01:13:58,309 --> 01:14:00,144 Because you offer something that most of 1643 01:14:00,145 --> 01:14:02,771 these self-entitled "important" people here don't. 1644 01:14:02,772 --> 01:14:06,275 You are a good person. 1645 01:14:06,276 --> 01:14:08,652 You care about your neighbors, your family. 1646 01:14:08,653 --> 01:14:10,737 You make people feel good about themselves. 1647 01:14:10,738 --> 01:14:13,824 Yeah, sure, the new world will need innovators 1648 01:14:13,825 --> 01:14:17,161 and goal-driven risk takers to keep humanity moving forward, 1649 01:14:17,162 --> 01:14:19,955 but kind, delicate good neighbors like yourself 1650 01:14:19,956 --> 01:14:21,957 are the foundation. 1651 01:14:21,958 --> 01:14:23,834 So, knowing that there will be good people like you 1652 01:14:23,835 --> 01:14:26,962 on Earth 2.0 gives me hope. 1653 01:14:26,963 --> 01:14:28,840 And that's more than enough for me. 1654 01:14:30,717 --> 01:14:32,759 This is absolutely insane. 1655 01:14:32,760 --> 01:14:34,636 I know it is! 1656 01:14:34,637 --> 01:14:37,222 It's fucking insane, but I need you to embrace the chaos. 1657 01:14:37,223 --> 01:14:40,642 I need you to accept the Todd Simmons of it all. 1658 01:14:40,643 --> 01:14:43,563 Look, I am asking you, do you trust me? 1659 01:14:50,653 --> 01:14:53,530 I can't believe I'm about to say this, but... 1660 01:14:53,531 --> 01:14:55,574 yeah. 1661 01:14:55,575 --> 01:14:57,201 Thanks, dude. 1662 01:14:57,202 --> 01:14:58,577 Cough, cough. 1663 01:14:58,578 --> 01:15:00,621 I can't believe my good luck. Makes me wonder 1664 01:15:00,622 --> 01:15:02,289 why I didn't just wait for you guys here. 1665 01:15:02,290 --> 01:15:03,832 But alas, can't change the past. 1666 01:15:03,833 --> 01:15:05,542 Anyway, this is the part of the story-- 1667 01:15:05,543 --> 01:15:07,586 Hey, hey, Jason, please. Hello. 1668 01:15:07,587 --> 01:15:09,046 - What? - You're doing it again, man. 1669 01:15:09,047 --> 01:15:10,839 - Doing what again? - The fucking monologue. 1670 01:15:10,840 --> 01:15:12,341 - We talked about this. - Sorry. 1671 01:15:12,342 --> 01:15:14,092 - Can I please just shoot them? - You're right. Okay. 1672 01:15:14,093 --> 01:15:15,385 - Much simpler. - No more monologues. 1673 01:15:15,386 --> 01:15:16,970 - Thank you very much. - Thank you. 1674 01:15:16,971 --> 01:15:19,348 See ya! 1675 01:15:19,349 --> 01:15:21,016 - Tiago? - Yep? 1676 01:15:21,017 --> 01:15:22,559 That was on me. So sorry. 1677 01:15:22,560 --> 01:15:23,811 What the fuck, man? 1678 01:15:30,151 --> 01:15:31,777 This way. 1679 01:15:43,706 --> 01:15:46,376 - What do we do now? - Shh. 1680 01:15:50,797 --> 01:15:52,006 Whoopsie! 1681 01:15:53,007 --> 01:15:54,800 Looks like it's over, huh? 1682 01:15:54,801 --> 01:15:58,221 You see, we are covering the only exit. 1683 01:15:59,681 --> 01:16:01,598 I'll tell you what. You come on out, 1684 01:16:01,599 --> 01:16:03,350 and there will be no more bloodshed. 1685 01:16:03,351 --> 01:16:05,477 Promessa Portuguesa. 1686 01:16:05,478 --> 01:16:08,273 Now that is a Portuguese promise. 1687 01:16:11,359 --> 01:16:13,235 I knew it would end one day in an office. 1688 01:16:13,236 --> 01:16:14,236 - What? - Nothing. 1689 01:16:14,237 --> 01:16:15,988 I have a plan. 1690 01:16:15,989 --> 01:16:17,239 When I give you the signal, 1691 01:16:17,240 --> 01:16:19,366 you run back to the space door. Got it? 1692 01:16:19,367 --> 01:16:20,617 What about it you? 1693 01:16:20,618 --> 01:16:23,121 Didn't I tell you to stop worrying about me? 1694 01:16:26,624 --> 01:16:28,418 What the fuck? 1695 01:16:33,089 --> 01:16:34,715 Bingo bongo! 1696 01:16:34,716 --> 01:16:37,592 Get yer tickets to outer space here! 1697 01:16:37,593 --> 01:16:38,594 There! 1698 01:16:39,595 --> 01:16:42,222 Hey, assholes! I have your prize! 1699 01:16:42,223 --> 01:16:43,598 Come and get it! 1700 01:16:43,599 --> 01:16:46,018 Jesus, what the fuck are you doing, you idiot? 1701 01:16:46,019 --> 01:16:49,147 Come and get it, you mango-eating motherfuckers. 1702 01:16:50,398 --> 01:16:52,482 Hey, Luke! This is the signal! 1703 01:16:52,483 --> 01:16:55,068 Go, go, go! Luke, go, run! 1704 01:16:55,069 --> 01:16:57,529 Thank you. Well, well, well. 1705 01:16:57,530 --> 01:16:59,072 Seems to me-- 1706 01:16:59,073 --> 01:17:01,116 Please, not another fucking monologue. Please. 1707 01:17:01,117 --> 01:17:02,534 - You're right. - Let me just do it. 1708 01:17:02,535 --> 01:17:04,286 - Go ahead, go ahead. - Thank you so much. 1709 01:17:04,287 --> 01:17:05,620 Run, Luke! 1710 01:17:10,126 --> 01:17:14,629 ♪ So many years, got a face that's old ♪ 1711 01:17:14,630 --> 01:17:16,465 ♪ Saw the world unfold ♪ 1712 01:17:16,466 --> 01:17:17,841 Run, Luke! 1713 01:17:17,842 --> 01:17:22,429 ♪ And the truth be told in a steadfast love ♪ 1714 01:17:22,430 --> 01:17:25,099 ♪ In a steadfast love ♪ 1715 01:17:36,319 --> 01:17:38,111 ♪ It's a steadfast love ♪ 1716 01:17:38,112 --> 01:17:39,863 Oh my God, that felt so satisfying. 1717 01:17:39,864 --> 01:17:41,073 - It looked great. - Thank you. 1718 01:17:41,074 --> 01:17:42,449 - You looked so good. - Thank you. 1719 01:17:42,450 --> 01:17:44,242 Yeah, it looked really good. 1720 01:17:44,243 --> 01:17:46,453 Why is-- What's going on? Is this empty? 1721 01:17:46,454 --> 01:17:48,205 - Son of a bitch! - It's empty! 1722 01:17:48,206 --> 01:17:51,124 Look, that motherfucker is right there! 1723 01:17:51,125 --> 01:17:52,251 Come on! 1724 01:18:03,179 --> 01:18:06,556 ♪ Nah-nah-nah ♪ 1725 01:18:06,557 --> 01:18:09,267 ♪ Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah ♪ 1726 01:18:09,268 --> 01:18:11,687 ♪ Nah-nah-nah ♪ 1727 01:18:16,442 --> 01:18:17,443 Ah... 1728 01:18:19,695 --> 01:18:21,280 The boarding pass, please. 1729 01:18:22,782 --> 01:18:24,116 I know what you're thinking. 1730 01:18:24,117 --> 01:18:25,951 "Why don't you just go ahead and shoot me already? 1731 01:18:25,952 --> 01:18:28,495 "Doesn't even matter as the world will end in two weeks." 1732 01:18:28,496 --> 01:18:29,913 But this isn't easy for us. 1733 01:18:29,914 --> 01:18:31,248 Jesus Christ, man, can you literally 1734 01:18:31,249 --> 01:18:33,625 not help yourself with the monologue shit? 1735 01:18:33,626 --> 01:18:35,127 Sorry, did... What do you mean, 1736 01:18:35,128 --> 01:18:36,795 the world is gonna end in two weeks? 1737 01:18:36,796 --> 01:18:38,380 Oh, come on. 1738 01:18:38,381 --> 01:18:40,257 I told you, this is the last shuttle. 1739 01:18:40,258 --> 01:18:41,716 I thought you figured it out already. 1740 01:18:41,717 --> 01:18:42,884 No, I didn't figure it out! 1741 01:18:42,885 --> 01:18:44,803 Wait, are the Elders destroying the Earth? 1742 01:18:44,804 --> 01:18:47,013 - No, no, no. Not at all. - Oh, thank goodness. 1743 01:18:47,014 --> 01:18:48,640 - Just all life on Earth. - What? 1744 01:18:48,641 --> 01:18:50,350 Why didn't you just tell me the truth, man? 1745 01:18:50,351 --> 01:18:52,144 No one wants to believe the truth anymore. 1746 01:18:52,145 --> 01:18:53,728 You said I would inherit your fortune! 1747 01:18:53,729 --> 01:18:55,188 - You still do. - And I have like 1748 01:18:55,189 --> 01:18:57,315 - two weeks to spend it? - Twelve days, technically. 1749 01:18:57,316 --> 01:18:59,484 - Oh, you liar. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1750 01:18:59,485 --> 01:19:02,863 Tiago, what are you doing, buddy? 1751 01:19:02,864 --> 01:19:05,323 Come on, it's me. Jason. 1752 01:19:05,324 --> 01:19:07,284 So I wasn't completely honest with you, 1753 01:19:07,285 --> 01:19:09,286 but it was for your own good, buddy. 1754 01:19:09,287 --> 01:19:11,746 I wanted your last precious moments 1755 01:19:11,747 --> 01:19:13,790 to be lived in blissful ignorance. 1756 01:19:13,791 --> 01:19:15,917 Again, I am the good guy, here. 1757 01:19:15,918 --> 01:19:18,253 Actually, no, Jason. You are not the good guy. 1758 01:19:18,254 --> 01:19:20,088 You are the bad guy. 1759 01:19:20,089 --> 01:19:22,007 You have always been the bad guy. 1760 01:19:22,008 --> 01:19:24,342 You take that back. 1761 01:19:24,343 --> 01:19:27,929 I am the hero! 1762 01:19:27,930 --> 01:19:29,556 Leonardo, come on, help me out here? 1763 01:19:29,557 --> 01:19:31,475 Thank you. 1764 01:19:31,476 --> 01:19:33,393 This is why you should never trust the Portuguese. 1765 01:19:33,394 --> 01:19:34,686 - What'd you say? - What was that? 1766 01:19:34,687 --> 01:19:35,896 You said something about the Portuguese? 1767 01:19:35,897 --> 01:19:37,856 - No, nothing. - No, fuck you, man! 1768 01:19:37,857 --> 01:19:40,317 You know, I changed for you! And fuck this eye patch. 1769 01:19:40,318 --> 01:19:42,068 You know he told me to wear it because it would make 1770 01:19:42,069 --> 01:19:43,778 me more intimidating? Well, guess what? 1771 01:19:43,779 --> 01:19:45,489 It doesn't, this gun does! 1772 01:19:45,490 --> 01:19:46,781 New plan. 1773 01:19:46,782 --> 01:19:48,325 I'm taking the fucking ticket. 1774 01:19:49,911 --> 01:19:51,953 What the hell? 1775 01:19:51,954 --> 01:19:54,122 What is that, like, supposed to be? 1776 01:19:54,123 --> 01:19:57,501 Is it supposed to be, um, give me a sec. 1777 01:19:57,502 --> 01:19:59,711 Can't take my eyes off it. Look at it. 1778 01:19:59,712 --> 01:20:01,296 Give me a second. Gimme a sec. Ah! 1779 01:20:01,297 --> 01:20:03,340 But what's the significance of the boobs, though? 1780 01:20:03,341 --> 01:20:04,799 It's like, super hypnotic, 1781 01:20:04,800 --> 01:20:06,051 but it makes no sense, though. 1782 01:20:06,052 --> 01:20:07,552 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 1783 01:20:07,553 --> 01:20:11,181 It's not supposed to make any sense. 1784 01:20:11,182 --> 01:20:14,101 - Because... - It's a ruse! 1785 01:20:16,896 --> 01:20:18,564 Fuck muffin! 1786 01:20:21,150 --> 01:20:22,234 They shot Danny! 1787 01:20:22,235 --> 01:20:23,568 I know! Just keep running! 1788 01:20:23,569 --> 01:20:25,820 This is the final 1789 01:20:25,821 --> 01:20:27,864 boarding call for the last shuttle to New Earth. 1790 01:20:27,865 --> 01:20:29,824 Doors will be closing momentarily. 1791 01:20:29,825 --> 01:20:31,368 If you do not wish to be incinerated 1792 01:20:31,369 --> 01:20:32,744 and repurposed as fossil fuel, 1793 01:20:32,745 --> 01:20:34,580 please proceed to the gate immediately. 1794 01:20:40,836 --> 01:20:43,838 Okay. I got it! I got it! 1795 01:20:43,839 --> 01:20:46,383 I got it! 1796 01:20:54,141 --> 01:20:55,976 Excuse me, sirs. 1797 01:20:55,977 --> 01:20:58,270 But murder is not allowed in a Taco Gary's. 1798 01:20:59,605 --> 01:21:02,524 And this port is technically on Taco Gary's property. 1799 01:21:02,525 --> 01:21:04,401 So you know the penalty. 1800 01:21:04,402 --> 01:21:06,069 You see why I kept you in the dark. 1801 01:21:06,070 --> 01:21:07,988 I see it now. I'm sorry. 1802 01:21:07,989 --> 01:21:10,407 - Oh! - Oh, wow. 1803 01:21:10,408 --> 01:21:12,951 - This is all your fault. - I know, I'm sorry! 1804 01:21:15,037 --> 01:21:16,913 - What's that smell? - I don't know, dude. 1805 01:21:16,914 --> 01:21:18,456 - Mangos? - Fuck, yes. 1806 01:21:18,457 --> 01:21:20,209 Mangos! 1807 01:21:22,587 --> 01:21:25,463 Oh dear. 1808 01:21:25,464 --> 01:21:27,258 Welcome aboard. 1809 01:21:31,012 --> 01:21:32,929 Oh dear. 1810 01:21:46,569 --> 01:21:50,697 ♪ Well, I came along to find a little peace of mind ♪ 1811 01:21:50,698 --> 01:21:52,365 ♪ Neglected all my duties ♪ 1812 01:21:52,366 --> 01:21:54,451 ♪ Stepping off that straightened line ♪ 1813 01:21:54,452 --> 01:21:56,453 ♪ Now I just sit by my front door ♪ 1814 01:21:56,454 --> 01:21:58,788 ♪ Filled with indolence and sound ♪ 1815 01:22:00,249 --> 01:22:03,126 ♪ It's like I'm watching the weeds grow on the ground ♪ 1816 01:22:03,127 --> 01:22:04,252 Look, Luke. 1817 01:22:04,253 --> 01:22:05,754 This is going to be hard to hear, 1818 01:22:05,755 --> 01:22:09,633 but it's what Danny expected to happen all along. 1819 01:22:09,634 --> 01:22:11,635 He never planned on leaving, 1820 01:22:11,636 --> 01:22:13,970 but he didn't want you to be alone. 1821 01:22:13,971 --> 01:22:15,347 I still don't get it. 1822 01:22:15,348 --> 01:22:17,974 Embrace it. Look, this is the norm, Luke. 1823 01:22:17,975 --> 01:22:19,684 The world is always ending. 1824 01:22:19,685 --> 01:22:21,603 Things never make total sense, 1825 01:22:21,604 --> 01:22:24,773 and sometimes our only option is to just go with the flow. 1826 01:22:24,774 --> 01:22:26,776 It's the one thing we can control. 1827 01:22:28,736 --> 01:22:30,613 Do you know who said that? 1828 01:22:32,573 --> 01:22:35,493 Do you know who said that? 1829 01:22:42,333 --> 01:22:44,001 Todd Simmons. 1830 01:22:50,299 --> 01:22:52,717 And now you get it. 1831 01:22:52,718 --> 01:22:54,344 ♪ You pass something down ♪ 1832 01:22:54,345 --> 01:22:56,012 ♪ No matter where or how ♪ 1833 01:22:56,013 --> 01:22:58,014 ♪ Well, there'll be weeds or wildflowers ♪ 1834 01:22:58,015 --> 01:22:59,724 ♪ Affixed upon your bows ♪ 1835 01:22:59,725 --> 01:23:01,851 ♪ And there's a crooked burning cigarette ♪ 1836 01:23:01,852 --> 01:23:03,186 ♪ Rolling on your tongue ♪ 1837 01:23:03,187 --> 01:23:05,188 ♪ Well, there'll be weeds or wildflowers ♪ 1838 01:23:05,189 --> 01:23:07,524 ♪ When you're done ♪ 1839 01:23:07,525 --> 01:23:11,194 ♪ Da-da, da-da ♪ 1840 01:23:11,195 --> 01:23:15,031 ♪ Da-da-da ♪ 1841 01:23:15,032 --> 01:23:18,827 ♪ Da-da, da-da ♪ 1842 01:23:18,828 --> 01:23:22,497 ♪ Da-da-da ♪ 1843 01:23:22,498 --> 01:23:26,084 ♪ Da-da, da-da ♪ 1844 01:23:26,085 --> 01:23:30,296 ♪ Da-da-da ♪ 1845 01:23:30,297 --> 01:23:34,008 ♪ Da-da, da-da ♪ 1846 01:23:34,009 --> 01:23:37,763 ♪ Da ♪ 1847 01:23:38,764 --> 01:23:41,307 ♪ Blown about by the wind ♪ 1848 01:23:41,308 --> 01:23:42,892 ♪ And the worthless little thing ♪ 1849 01:23:42,893 --> 01:23:44,602 ♪ But the world can feel the changes ♪ 1850 01:23:44,603 --> 01:23:46,354 ♪ Of a butterfly's wings ♪ 1851 01:23:46,355 --> 01:23:48,106 ♪ And so that crooked burning cigarette ♪ 1852 01:23:48,107 --> 01:23:49,774 ♪ Rolling on your tongue ♪ 1853 01:23:49,775 --> 01:23:53,153 ♪ Will leave its weeds before your flowers yet have sprung ♪ 1854 01:23:53,154 --> 01:23:56,573 ♪ Will there be weeds or wildflowers when you're done? ♪