1
00:00:12,013 --> 00:00:14,849
‪你那張頭頂著頌缽
‪和老鷹的照片爆紅了

2
00:00:14,849 --> 00:00:16,934
‪他們叫你“怪咖巫師”

3
00:00:16,934 --> 00:00:20,146
‪網上甚至瘋傳稻一張
‪稻草人給你大腦的迷因

4
00:00:20,146 --> 00:00:21,856
‪我們得處理這些餘波

5
00:00:22,899 --> 00:00:24,192
‪你在聽嗎?

6
00:00:24,192 --> 00:00:26,903
‪老天,你又冥想入定了嗎?

7
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,617
‪這樣叫醒我很危險

8
00:00:32,617 --> 00:00:35,161
‪我本來和猴子在樹上
‪安撫我的內在小孩

9
00:00:35,161 --> 00:00:37,413
‪現在那個小男孩獨自跟猴群待在一起

10
00:00:37,413 --> 00:00:41,334
‪聽起來不像什麼正經的問題
‪比起這個的話

11
00:00:41,918 --> 00:00:43,628
‪我知道,慘不忍睹

12
00:00:43,628 --> 00:00:47,173
‪我本來希望猴子給點建議
‪但牠們不發一語

13
00:00:47,173 --> 00:00:48,549
‪我們都很珍惜猴子

14
00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:51,469
‪另一方面,妳的人類好友金來了

15
00:00:51,469 --> 00:00:54,388
‪她不是想像出來的
‪也是你在董事會的最佳盟友

16
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,140
‪也許她會有點高見?

17
00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:58,392
‪金來了?她人超好

18
00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:01,104
‪我喜歡跟好人在一起
‪讓我覺得很安全

19
00:01:01,104 --> 00:01:02,814
‪太好了,我去叫她

20
00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:06,651
‪喂,待在這裡

21
00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:10,988
‪沒有這裡

22
00:01:12,031 --> 00:01:14,325
‪艾利斯的震盪人生

23
00:01:18,246 --> 00:01:20,039
‪嗨,你要喝咖啡嗎?

24
00:01:20,039 --> 00:01:22,416
‪-我很樂意
‪-來,你先請吧

25
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:25,503
‪你已經有咖啡了
‪所以嚴格來說,你已經先了

26
00:01:25,503 --> 00:01:28,798
‪沒錯,現在應該你先吧

27
00:01:28,798 --> 00:01:29,757
‪謝謝

28
00:01:30,842 --> 00:01:31,676
‪好

29
00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:34,554
‪你是麥爾坎吧?

30
00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:36,722
‪一直都是

31
00:01:37,682 --> 00:01:40,768
‪人資部的情況如何?
‪可以問嗎?還是會違反規定?

32
00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:42,937
‪抱歉,我必須舉發你

33
00:01:42,937 --> 00:01:44,605
‪希望我不會被打屁股

34
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:47,525
‪太過火了,但我的確在人資部工作

35
00:01:47,525 --> 00:01:49,735
‪抱歉,我根本不喜歡打屁股

36
00:01:51,070 --> 00:01:54,031
‪這樣說大概也不太妥,我先走了

37
00:01:58,828 --> 00:02:00,997
‪(艾利斯德雷根
‪怪異、瘋狂、荒唐、愚蠢)

38
00:02:00,997 --> 00:02:02,206
‪(光明會,碧草丘)

39
00:02:04,584 --> 00:02:07,837
‪金妮!“金因”序列,快過來

40
00:02:07,837 --> 00:02:11,549
‪看到你的臉真好,艾利斯
‪你還好嗎?

41
00:02:12,175 --> 00:02:15,052
‪我每時每刻都感覺到凱蒂的存在

42
00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:18,764
‪我也是,她是我的死黨
‪她就像燦爛的陽光

43
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:21,893
‪那個記者用她那根大砲把你搞慘了

44
00:02:21,893 --> 00:02:24,353
‪-看得出來妳還是文采過人
‪-我盡量

45
00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:26,272
‪很抱歉我沒參加董事會議

46
00:02:27,273 --> 00:02:31,110
‪我現在要用柔和的眼神接觸
‪和輕緩的撫觸

47
00:02:31,110 --> 00:02:35,281
‪跟你建立舒服的默契
‪然後開始談不舒服的事

48
00:02:35,281 --> 00:02:38,492
‪聽起來很體貼,真希望妳也能這樣

49
00:02:39,452 --> 00:02:41,621
‪我對你也有很多期望

50
00:02:41,621 --> 00:02:45,249
‪那篇報導讓情況變得更複雜

51
00:02:45,917 --> 00:02:49,170
‪雙胞胎說你讓公司蒙羞,必須換掉

52
00:02:49,170 --> 00:02:50,880
‪那兩個自以為是的混蛋

53
00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:53,299
‪他們敗壞每個有錢的白人的形象

54
00:02:53,299 --> 00:02:55,718
‪艾利斯,我一直以來都支持你

55
00:02:55,718 --> 00:02:59,680
‪但雙胞胎去遊說其他董事會成員
‪不滿情緒可能會蔓延

56
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,850
‪好,我要放手了,因為流手汗了

57
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,644
‪據我所知,你幾乎沒進實驗室

58
00:03:04,644 --> 00:03:08,522
‪你現在必須回去工作
‪讓董事會看到真正的進展

59
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:11,859
‪我喜歡,不只是因為
‪我已經重複這些話好幾星期了

60
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,069
‪不,等等,這就是原因

61
00:03:13,069 --> 00:03:15,738
‪我會照做
‪而且還能趁機跟傑克森相處

62
00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:17,907
‪雙胞胎怎麼辦?他們還是在

63
00:03:17,907 --> 00:03:19,700
‪把那兩個髒東西交給我處理吧

64
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:22,912
‪我最近挖出一些事
‪應該能讓他們從此閉嘴

65
00:03:22,912 --> 00:03:23,996
‪快告訴我

66
00:03:24,747 --> 00:03:26,457
‪算了,我想有驚喜

67
00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:29,543
‪告訴我吧,還是算了

68
00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:35,341
‪謝謝妳的支持和友誼,金
‪對我來說意義重大

69
00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:38,636
‪安娜,艾利斯有妳的擁護
‪是他上輩子修來的福氣

70
00:03:38,636 --> 00:03:40,054
‪謝謝妳,金

71
00:03:42,682 --> 00:03:43,975
‪好吧,很好

72
00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:50,356
‪抱夠久了,多謝

73
00:03:57,947 --> 00:03:59,031
‪傑克森

74
00:03:59,031 --> 00:04:03,119
‪金!天啊,見到妳真好

75
00:04:03,119 --> 00:04:05,371
‪聽說你這裡工作,你爸一定很高興

76
00:04:05,371 --> 00:04:07,456
‪是啊,但他不讓我得意忘形

77
00:04:07,456 --> 00:04:10,584
‪一個勁批評我的穿著、姿態和性格

78
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:13,504
‪告訴我,你感覺怎麼樣?

79
00:04:13,504 --> 00:04:14,839
‪馬上切入重點

80
00:04:14,839 --> 00:04:18,009
‪我感覺很好
‪還是很難受,情緒來來去去

81
00:04:18,009 --> 00:04:22,138
‪我只是希望你知道
‪如果有需要什麼,儘管來找我

82
00:04:25,683 --> 00:04:29,353
‪-眼神交流太久了
‪-那就放鬆吧,聽我倒數

83
00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:31,188
‪三、二、一

84
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:35,901
‪我還在彈豎琴,下次帶長笛過來吧

85
00:04:35,901 --> 00:04:38,195
‪我們可以表演招牌的吹竹調絲

86
00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:41,198
‪聽起來很棒
‪但我還是想找個更好的名字

87
00:04:43,826 --> 00:04:45,828
‪快分裂啊,討厭的核狀體!

88
00:04:45,828 --> 00:04:48,456
‪你還在等什麼,傲嬌的小王子?

89
00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:52,293
‪有了!有些細胞需要被羞辱
‪否則永遠不會分裂

90
00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:56,464
‪所以妳想再給傑克森一次機會嗎?

91
00:04:57,715 --> 00:05:01,260
‪-妳真的想談這個嗎?
‪-我沒事,我很滿意我男友

92
00:05:01,260 --> 00:05:04,388
‪布萊恩有內涵
‪他喜歡我,我們同時就寢

93
00:05:04,388 --> 00:05:05,931
‪我想想,還有什麼?

94
00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:09,393
‪肯定還有更多,我們都喜歡布萊恩
‪和他那雙可靠的布希鞋

95
00:05:10,269 --> 00:05:12,063
‪-別這樣叫他
‪-叫他什麼?

96
00:05:12,063 --> 00:05:14,315
‪-魯蛇
‪-我沒說他是魯蛇

97
00:05:14,315 --> 00:05:17,234
‪-真的嗎?妳可能發誓說有
‪-我只是提到他的布希鞋

98
00:05:17,234 --> 00:05:18,569
‪別再這樣叫他了

99
00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:22,907
‪好吧,我知道問題在哪裡
‪妳說“魯蛇”,我就聽到“魯蛇”

100
00:05:22,907 --> 00:05:25,993
‪可惡,我是說“布希鞋”
‪妳說“布希鞋”時,我聽到“魯蛇”

101
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:29,497
‪我知道妳對他
‪穿著那雙蠢鞋趴趴走的看法

102
00:05:29,497 --> 00:05:31,665
‪所以妳和傑克森怎麼樣?

103
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:35,127
‪我喜歡他,他很真誠,這是好事

104
00:05:35,127 --> 00:05:37,338
‪所以如果妳真的沒意見...

105
00:05:38,464 --> 00:05:42,134
‪-好吧,我不會再跟他見面了
‪-妳知道怎樣對自己最好

106
00:05:42,134 --> 00:05:45,096
‪早安,女士們,有什麼新鮮事?

107
00:05:45,096 --> 00:05:47,681
‪聽說我很哈人資部的性感帥哥

108
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,267
‪-真假,你應該約他出去
‪-我不行

109
00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:51,602
‪-膽小鬼
‪-你真遜

110
00:05:51,602 --> 00:05:53,145
‪太危險了,他在人資部工作

111
00:05:53,145 --> 00:05:56,440
‪萬一他不哈我,可以自行舉發我
‪你覺得他會挺誰?

112
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:57,650
‪他說得對,風險很大

113
00:05:57,650 --> 00:06:00,194
‪如果我們用科學方法
‪判斷他喜不喜歡你呢?

114
00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:04,281
‪我們可以用實證方法
‪確定人資男喜歡的類型

115
00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:05,282
‪這樣就能排除風險

116
00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:07,868
‪然後你就可以像度假那樣大膽行動

117
00:06:08,369 --> 00:06:11,997
‪我的確喜歡度假時大膽行動
‪讓我考慮一下

118
00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:13,040
‪-膽小鬼!
‪-你真遜

119
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:16,710
‪-嗨,科學帥哥美女
‪-她還是不知道我們的名字

120
00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:19,296
‪今天是大日子
‪艾利斯又重返實驗室了

121
00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:21,298
‪不是來蜻蜓點水,沒有雜務在身

122
00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:23,884
‪-限制干擾我的事物
‪-不會有干擾

123
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:26,846
‪太好了,我一度擔心跟我同住的人

124
00:06:26,846 --> 00:06:29,432
‪會跟我在不同實驗室工作

125
00:06:30,474 --> 00:06:33,727
‪好了,我一些想法能讓我們重振旗鼓

126
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:34,728
‪非常好

127
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:38,941
‪盡情享受調製液體和觀察的樂趣吧!

128
00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:42,820
‪我對這裡的工作一竅不通
‪先去處理髒東西了

129
00:06:44,196 --> 00:06:47,825
‪突然想到你們不清楚來龍去脈

130
00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:51,662
‪我要去找幾個爛人
‪你們專心研究科學吧

131
00:06:58,335 --> 00:07:00,921
‪-我不需要你看顧我
‪-我想見證魔力

132
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:07,803
‪我知道你們在追蹤碳反應
‪所以我有個瘋狂的想法

133
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,348
‪如果我們能把

134
00:07:11,849 --> 00:07:13,225
‪某種

135
00:07:13,893 --> 00:07:14,977
‪氧化還原劑

136
00:07:16,437 --> 00:07:17,271
‪弄在正極上...

137
00:07:18,022 --> 00:07:19,482
‪爸,你在哭嗎?

138
00:07:19,482 --> 00:07:21,817
‪哪有,我幹嘛哭?我沒事

139
00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:24,612
‪所以...

140
00:07:26,030 --> 00:07:28,616
‪正極...

141
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,953
‪是細胞太漂亮了嗎?

142
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:35,915
‪老兄,怎麼回事?

143
00:07:35,915 --> 00:07:38,501
‪沒事,只是在實驗室工作而已

144
00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:40,169
‪不如我們去散步?

145
00:07:40,169 --> 00:07:41,921
‪不,不能分心

146
00:07:44,465 --> 00:07:46,800
‪好吧,我不曉得怎麼回事

147
00:07:48,761 --> 00:07:51,889
‪但就快結束了,等我一下

148
00:08:01,774 --> 00:08:04,443
‪-有何貴幹?
‪-對啊,有何貴幹?

149
00:08:04,443 --> 00:08:05,569
‪我們必須談談

150
00:08:06,779 --> 00:08:08,739
‪-喂,這是我們家
‪-這是我們家

151
00:08:08,739 --> 00:08:11,700
‪-你們不能再找艾利斯麻煩
‪-不可能

152
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,744
‪當初艾利斯創業,是我爸爸借錢給他

153
00:08:13,744 --> 00:08:17,206
‪但輪到我爸想開公司時
‪他卻不肯借他半毛錢

154
00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:18,707
‪那是養老虎的可愛動物園

155
00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:20,334
‪那是一家公司

156
00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:23,629
‪不管怎樣,都很不道德
‪你爸對老虎一無所知

157
00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:25,214
‪妳的口氣跟我們媽媽一樣

158
00:08:25,214 --> 00:08:28,259
‪那個女人,一直對我們父親沒信心

159
00:08:28,259 --> 00:08:32,054
‪-那你們幹嘛不去找她麻煩?
‪-她是我們的媽媽,妳有病嗎?

160
00:08:32,054 --> 00:08:33,847
‪對啦,白痴的人是我

161
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,015
‪我就說重點了

162
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:39,520
‪我最近發現一些你們很不堪的事

163
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:43,190
‪你們跟其他超級富豪
‪一起開奢靡的性愛趴

164
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:46,652
‪在那裡交換體液和垃圾政治觀點

165
00:08:46,652 --> 00:08:49,029
‪譏笑,我們在科技業工作
‪這沒什麼大不了

166
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,156
‪你剛說“譏笑”嗎?

167
00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:53,784
‪對,我在譏笑,這就是譏笑的方式

168
00:08:53,784 --> 00:08:57,955
‪並不是,你不能照字面唸
‪它是形容驚訝發出的聲音

169
00:08:57,955 --> 00:09:00,082
‪才怪,譏笑!

170
00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:03,544
‪-妳沒事吧?
‪-這才是譏笑

171
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:07,089
‪我知道你們不覺得參加性愛趴丟臉
‪但我敢打包票

172
00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:11,176
‪你們可悲又癡呆的朋友
‪看到這個後,不會再邀你們參加

173
00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:13,220
‪你們假扮朝聖者

174
00:09:15,431 --> 00:09:18,934
‪我很享受擺脫英國教會暴政後的自由

175
00:09:19,435 --> 00:09:21,145
‪我正在攪拌奶油

176
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:24,690
‪妳從哪弄來的?

177
00:09:24,690 --> 00:09:27,359
‪我住的大樓裡有個很可愛的14歲小孩

178
00:09:27,359 --> 00:09:29,820
‪興趣是收集泥土並潑別人髒水

179
00:09:29,820 --> 00:09:33,657
‪我們是裝成朝聖者
‪有什麼大不了的?朝聖者受歡迎

180
00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:35,117
‪他們發明了美國

181
00:09:35,117 --> 00:09:36,827
‪事實並非如此

182
00:09:36,827 --> 00:09:40,080
‪除了美化種族歧視
‪和濫殺無辜的殖民者

183
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,291
‪你們歷史重現的圈子排擠女性

184
00:09:42,291 --> 00:09:44,418
‪有些女人會深感被冒犯

185
00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:48,130
‪說不定不乏一些
‪參加你們奢靡性愛趴的女性

186
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:52,760
‪她說得對,性愛趴的女人
‪非常注重歧視議題

187
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:55,554
‪女人是我們性愛趴的寶

188
00:09:55,554 --> 00:09:58,682
‪如果她們不爽,我們能跟誰上床?
‪剩下朱利安嗎?

189
00:09:59,183 --> 00:10:00,809
‪別再找艾利斯麻煩

190
00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:05,481
‪否則影片就會流出去
‪你們就永遠跟自己的體液作伴吧

191
00:10:08,484 --> 00:10:11,111
‪(我的另一輛車是豎琴)

192
00:10:15,741 --> 00:10:17,076
‪傑克森,拜託,暫停一下

193
00:10:17,743 --> 00:10:21,163
‪這首歌叫《走在陽光下》
‪不是《爬進黑暗》

194
00:10:21,163 --> 00:10:25,292
‪對,我試圖用音樂偽裝
‪但笛聲騙不了人

195
00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:27,795
‪樂器會揭露演奏者的真實本色

196
00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:30,964
‪所以自從我跟教練上床後
‪就不再彈豎琴給我丈夫聽了

197
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,466
‪我只是擔心我爸

198
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:35,594
‪-他今天在實驗室哭不停
‪-你有試著幫他嗎?

199
00:10:35,594 --> 00:10:38,013
‪他從來不要我幫,喜歡對我下指導棋

200
00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:41,767
‪但當我想給他建議時
‪他就露出高高在上的微笑

201
00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:42,685
‪就好像...

202
00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:47,648
‪他看起來很崩潰

203
00:10:48,774 --> 00:10:51,652
‪你有沒有認識誰
‪偶爾也一副崩潰的樣子?

204
00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:54,029
‪天啊,當然有,每天發作

205
00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:55,864
‪-就是我吧?
‪-對

206
00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:58,909
‪既然你們有這個共通點
‪也許你能幫他熬過去

207
00:10:58,909 --> 00:11:00,202
‪我做過了

208
00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:07,251
‪實驗室一直帶給我無比安全感
‪我在那裡覺得最自在

209
00:11:07,251 --> 00:11:09,086
‪所以這才讓我害怕

210
00:11:10,087 --> 00:11:11,255
‪萬一又發生怎麼辦?

211
00:11:11,255 --> 00:11:13,257
‪如果我回不去實驗室呢?

212
00:11:13,257 --> 00:11:16,802
‪要是我不能回實驗室,我是誰?

213
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:22,891
‪-我可以嘗一口你的可可嗎?
‪-我問過你,你說不要

214
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,935
‪因為我不知道你有放小棉花糖

215
00:11:24,935 --> 00:11:27,938
‪我知道你,說好嘗一口
‪但你會灌下一大口

216
00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:31,108
‪不會的,我保證,而且也太燙了

217
00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:33,777
‪嘗一點,就這樣

218
00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:36,155
‪一小口,一點巧克力

219
00:11:37,406 --> 00:11:38,365
‪謝謝

220
00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:41,076
‪那個...

221
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,580
‪夠了啦!

222
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:50,335
‪-你留下一顆棉花糖
‪-沒想到你居然讓我嘗一口

223
00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:55,507
‪好吧,專心談你的問題
‪也許你應該離開

224
00:11:56,633 --> 00:12:00,095
‪我們去旅行吧?你沒帶過我出去玩

225
00:12:00,095 --> 00:12:01,180
‪嘿,爸

226
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:04,349
‪還有萊斯利,當然有你在,你好

227
00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:07,352
‪你好,年輕人,我們剛才聊到旅行

228
00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:09,229
‪-可以考慮西班牙
‪-伊維薩島嗎?

229
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:12,399
‪-對,文明的搖籃
‪-發明DJ的地方

230
00:12:13,192 --> 00:12:14,401
‪不,別扯遠了

231
00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:17,905
‪-你感覺怎麼樣?
‪-還有點驚魂未定

232
00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:21,450
‪我不知道我為什麼哭
‪只是整個人不知所措

233
00:12:21,450 --> 00:12:24,495
‪其實我情緒潰堤時會做一件事

234
00:12:24,495 --> 00:12:26,830
‪-真的嗎?什麼事?
‪-我想告訴你

235
00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:30,250
‪但你得保證不會微笑
‪擺出高高在上的樣子

236
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,877
‪像你偶爾或每次那樣

237
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:36,799
‪-傑克森,我才沒有那麼做
‪-你現在就在做了

238
00:12:36,799 --> 00:12:39,176
‪天大的誤會,小夥子

239
00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:40,969
‪這樣吧,還是算了

240
00:12:40,969 --> 00:12:43,639
‪好啦,我不做我沒做的事
‪你想說什麼?

241
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:48,101
‪好吧,我告訴你
‪但這很私密,而且有點尷尬

242
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:51,855
‪如果你想說打手槍
‪在這裡可以放心談

243
00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:53,524
‪不是

244
00:12:54,066 --> 00:12:56,777
‪我覺得情緒潰堤時,會用力捏屁股

245
00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:58,278
‪聽起來很蠢,但有效

246
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,572
‪痛苦讓我感到踏實,並活在當下

247
00:13:01,907 --> 00:13:05,452
‪很感謝你跟我分享
‪我要試試看,謝謝

248
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:06,954
‪不客氣

249
00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:11,583
‪你們父子真的太棒了
‪這就是我踏入家族治療的原因

250
00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:15,170
‪不會有病人對我大吼,叫我醒來

251
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:22,553
‪嘿,一切都還好嗎?
‪我聽說昨天在實驗室情緒有點激動

252
00:13:22,553 --> 00:13:25,764
‪是有點,但有傑克森幫我
‪雙胞胎那邊怎麼樣了?

253
00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:29,977
‪雙胞胎裡有個“雙”字
‪昨天我創下了雙贏

254
00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:32,396
‪因為他們是雙胞胎
‪而我是語言大師

255
00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,231
‪真令人愉快

256
00:13:39,111 --> 00:13:41,780
‪-我們就知道會在這裡找到妳
‪-什麼?我的辦公室嗎?

257
00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:43,198
‪你們的心思真敏銳

258
00:13:43,198 --> 00:13:46,243
‪我們只是想讓妳措手不及

259
00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:47,619
‪以其人之道還治其人之身

260
00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:50,789
‪也許你們應該先講重點
‪以免忘了來這裡的目的

261
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:54,960
‪我們才不會忘記

262
00:13:57,963 --> 00:13:59,006
‪我知道了

263
00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:02,718
‪妳寫了超尷尬的辦公室同人小說
‪被我們發現了

264
00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:07,431
‪-我不知道你在說什麼
‪-就是妳,因為我們入侵了妳的硬碟

265
00:14:07,431 --> 00:14:11,101
‪我們在科技業工作
‪認識其他有本事的同行

266
00:14:11,101 --> 00:14:14,396
‪也許妳的同事會想拜讀妳的大作

267
00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:16,899
‪《感謝上帝創造安娜》

268
00:14:16,899 --> 00:14:18,066
‪糟糕

269
00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:19,943
‪“德雷根公司迎來另一個早晨

270
00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:22,529
‪但安娜看起來特別引人注目”

271
00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:30,913
‪早安,安娜
‪妳今天真漂亮,每天都是

272
00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:32,956
‪-謝謝,女科學家
‪-不客氣

273
00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:36,376
‪我再也不會為了
‪妳叫不出我們的名字大驚小怪了

274
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:38,962
‪都怪我們的名字太難記

275
00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:40,714
‪妳很聰明,頭腦又好

276
00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:43,634
‪安娜,我剛才想到內部資產報表

277
00:14:43,634 --> 00:14:46,929
‪欄位對調的事,妳馬上糾錯改正

278
00:14:46,929 --> 00:14:49,514
‪我真不應該,沒有好好稱讚妳

279
00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:51,391
‪妳很聰明,頭腦又好

280
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,894
‪而且外表迷人,知道我的意思吧

281
00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:56,355
‪我知道,而且永遠不可能發生

282
00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:58,482
‪話別說太滿

283
00:15:00,609 --> 00:15:02,778
‪安娜,我可以唱一首
‪我為妳寫的歌嗎?

284
00:15:02,778 --> 00:15:04,905
‪又來一首?好吧

285
00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:07,908
‪我們都要感謝安娜
‪賜我們薪水與食物

286
00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:10,911
‪沒錯,安娜是我們唯一能崇拜的人

287
00:15:10,911 --> 00:15:13,580
‪如果你替女神效勞,很難謙虛自制

288
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:14,706
‪拜託,別唸了

289
00:15:14,706 --> 00:15:17,709
‪要是這些內容傳出去
‪公司的人不會再認真看待妳

290
00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:20,295
‪對啊,嘗嘗在不受尊重的公司
‪當主管的滋味吧

291
00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:23,006
‪-我們碰過兩次,感覺很差
‪-你們想怎樣?

292
00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:26,259
‪要是妳敢把我們
‪穿朝聖鞋的照片洩漏半張

293
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:29,471
‪妳辦公室的每個人
‪都會拿到一份妳的小說

294
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:36,186
‪好吧,愚蠢的殖民地農夫
‪你們的秘密很安全

295
00:15:36,186 --> 00:15:40,107
‪很好,這樣我們三人陷入僵局
‪我們要繼續搞垮艾利斯

296
00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:41,024
‪為我們父親出氣

297
00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:42,442
‪-我們的父親
‪-別煩我

298
00:15:46,530 --> 00:15:47,364
‪天啊

299
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:50,993
‪經過大量研究
‪我們已經找到萬無一失的方法

300
00:15:50,993 --> 00:15:53,954
‪可以確認人資男對你感不感興趣

301
00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:55,831
‪變數A是這塊棉絨

302
00:15:55,831 --> 00:15:58,083
‪變數B和變數C則是其他碎屑...

303
00:15:58,083 --> 00:15:59,251
‪妳們兩位,行行好

304
00:15:59,251 --> 00:16:01,920
‪我們在你的襯衫上放了棉絨
‪看看人資男會不會挑走

305
00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:04,715
‪替潛在配偶整理儀容
‪是表達興趣的方式

306
00:16:04,715 --> 00:16:07,843
‪所以如果他碰你,就知道他喜歡你了

307
00:16:07,843 --> 00:16:09,302
‪太厲害了

308
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:12,681
‪雖然前幾天
‪我也幫我媽挑走上衣的東西

309
00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:16,727
‪好吧,小傢伙,我們行動

310
00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:22,065
‪-科學讓一切變得更好
‪-核武呢?

311
00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:23,108
‪-對喔
‪-早安

312
00:16:23,108 --> 00:16:25,652
‪真的很早,準備好上班了嗎?

313
00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:28,113
‪我對碳削減有新想法

314
00:16:29,740 --> 00:16:31,616
‪謝謝,但我不會潰堤

315
00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:34,703
‪昨晚有個很特別的小傢伙給了我建議

316
00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:36,872
‪很好,她們都不知道你在說誰

317
00:16:36,872 --> 00:16:39,416
‪-我去拿吸管
‪-我來幫妳

318
00:16:39,416 --> 00:16:41,460
‪我很期待試試你的屁股那招

319
00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:46,006
‪不,不是傳統意義的那個屁股

320
00:16:46,006 --> 00:16:48,592
‪而是利用屁股讓你覺得舒服的方式

321
00:16:49,092 --> 00:16:52,637
‪好比用屁股幫你達成...該死的,爸

322
00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:55,599
‪好了,所以我在想

323
00:16:56,767 --> 00:16:57,893
‪如果能反轉

324
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:02,147
‪正極,也許就能加速...

325
00:17:03,732 --> 00:17:05,317
‪加油

326
00:17:06,401 --> 00:17:09,780
‪-爸?
‪-沒事,有用,效果很好

327
00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:12,449
‪氧化還原劑...

328
00:17:14,493 --> 00:17:17,746
‪這就是我的想法,我們明天見

329
00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:23,376
‪-爸
‪-抱歉你的捏屁股方法不管用

330
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:26,963
‪你不必假裝,就算對我有用
‪也不代表在你身上會奏效

331
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:29,674
‪你努力想幫我
‪我知道這對你來說有多難

332
00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:31,218
‪我不想讓你失望

333
00:17:31,802 --> 00:17:33,887
‪爸,你永遠不用擔心讓我失望

334
00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:36,264
‪我的好兒子

335
00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:39,559
‪-因為你每天都讓我失望
‪-讚喔

336
00:17:41,353 --> 00:17:45,315
‪我該怎麼辦?
‪要是我不回實驗室,你媽會殺了我

337
00:17:45,315 --> 00:17:47,526
‪她非常看重碳項目

338
00:17:47,526 --> 00:17:50,028
‪如果她殺了你
‪她就得花更多時間陪你

339
00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:53,365
‪我想她應該很享受休息時間
‪所以她頂多會糾纏你

340
00:17:53,365 --> 00:17:57,077
‪但我還是不想半夜醒來
‪看到她在我床邊徘徊

341
00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:59,871
‪下巴掉下來,失望地對我尖叫

342
00:17:59,871 --> 00:18:03,250
‪你有沒有想過給自己那麼多壓力

343
00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:05,210
‪是因為不想讓老媽失望?

344
00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:08,088
‪-但為什麼只在實驗室裡發生?
‪-碳項目

345
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,340
‪因為你覺得在實驗室最可能讓她失望

346
00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:14,219
‪-天啊!我們怎麼沒想到這點?
‪-我剛剛想到了

347
00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:15,637
‪但我立刻就想通了

348
00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:18,849
‪你不明白嗎?
‪在實驗室我最可能讓她失望

349
00:18:18,849 --> 00:18:22,352
‪別說得好像是你想出來的
‪你也不會讓媽失望

350
00:18:22,352 --> 00:18:25,564
‪她說過:“讓別人失望的唯一方法
‪就是放棄”

351
00:18:25,564 --> 00:18:26,481
‪你說得對

352
00:18:26,481 --> 00:18:27,732
‪不,她說得對

353
00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:29,484
‪不,我才對

354
00:18:30,193 --> 00:18:33,363
‪我不會放棄,希望你今天有收穫

355
00:18:38,201 --> 00:18:40,078
‪你爸還好嗎?

356
00:18:40,078 --> 00:18:44,082
‪他會沒事的
‪我突破盲點,但他獨攬功勞

357
00:18:44,082 --> 00:18:47,002
‪-像你現在邀功一樣嗎?
‪-老天,這是遺傳

358
00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:50,839
‪你幹嘛...

359
00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:58,513
‪妳身上有棉絨

360
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,273
‪好了,沒事

361
00:19:08,857 --> 00:19:12,235
‪只是一塊棉絨
‪不代表什麼,科學真愚蠢

362
00:19:12,736 --> 00:19:14,779
‪不對,科學很聰明

363
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,241
‪妳怎麼渾身溼答答?

364
00:19:18,241 --> 00:19:20,535
‪-我盡力了
‪-好的

365
00:19:20,535 --> 00:19:23,705
‪我在想妳應該再約傑克森出去

366
00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:25,290
‪他人很好,去約吧

367
00:19:25,290 --> 00:19:27,125
‪-妳確定嗎?
‪-對

368
00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:29,002
‪我覺得他可愛嗎?有點

369
00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:31,880
‪這表示我想甩掉布萊恩
‪和傑克森約會嗎?

370
00:19:34,549 --> 00:19:35,550
‪-怎麼樣?
‪-不想

371
00:19:36,468 --> 00:19:37,469
‪約他出去

372
00:19:38,053 --> 00:19:39,930
‪好吧,如果妳真的同意,我會約他

373
00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:41,264
‪很好,謝謝

374
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:44,851
‪露比?露娜?這裡有人裸體嗎?

375
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:47,854
‪你不用遮眼了,我們已經收好胸部

376
00:19:48,813 --> 00:19:51,942
‪棉絨測試有用
‪人資帥哥幫我挑掉,所以我約他了

377
00:19:51,942 --> 00:19:53,777
‪我們十分鐘內離開

378
00:19:53,777 --> 00:19:57,030
‪如果我去磨蹭艾利斯
‪沾上他的味道,會很怪嗎?

379
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:59,449
‪會,但沒你超級迷戀他那麼怪

380
00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:00,825
‪我沒有迷戀艾利斯

381
00:20:01,660 --> 00:20:04,704
‪而且我今天已經抱過他兩次
‪所以應該不用了

382
00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:09,501
‪嘿,準備好去喝一杯了嗎?

383
00:20:09,501 --> 00:20:12,087
‪天啊,當然好了
‪我剛收到艾利斯的電郵

384
00:20:12,087 --> 00:20:15,548
‪他要我查一下
‪怎麼把他的鷹登記為服務動物

385
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:17,467
‪有時候那傢伙有點難搞

386
00:20:18,802 --> 00:20:21,596
‪-什麼?
‪-艾利斯,有時他有點難搞

387
00:20:25,642 --> 00:20:27,769
‪沒成功,太多警訊了

388
00:20:32,190 --> 00:20:34,776
‪-找到你了
‪-而且沒流淚

389
00:20:34,776 --> 00:20:36,319
‪好極了,你是怎麼做...

390
00:20:36,319 --> 00:20:38,154
‪快過來,看看這個

391
00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:40,991
‪-看到了嗎?
‪-沒有

392
00:20:40,991 --> 00:20:42,659
‪什麼?那個小點嗎?是啥?

393
00:20:42,659 --> 00:20:44,119
‪我有突破了

394
00:20:45,328 --> 00:20:46,413
‪說來聽聽

395
00:20:47,205 --> 00:20:52,794
‪妳眼前這顆水泥粒子
‪完全由溫室氣體組成

396
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:55,380
‪我們成功了,而且只是開始

397
00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:58,466
‪-天啊,艾利斯,太不可思議了
‪-可不是嗎?

398
00:20:59,009 --> 00:21:00,844
‪看看妳,滿面笑容

399
00:21:01,344 --> 00:21:04,639
‪我不該笑的,我無法逼退雙胞胎

400
00:21:04,639 --> 00:21:07,851
‪他們握有一些我很難堪的把柄

401
00:21:08,476 --> 00:21:09,352
‪有比全世界

402
00:21:09,352 --> 00:21:12,772
‪看到你躲在劣質隱形斗篷底下

403
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:14,441
‪頭上還頂著頌缽和老鷹難堪嗎?

404
00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:16,067
‪我寫辦公室同人小說

405
00:21:16,651 --> 00:21:20,238
‪-這也未必代表...
‪-背景是大家都崇拜我

406
00:21:20,238 --> 00:21:21,948
‪有一章我還拆解了炸彈

407
00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:24,200
‪讓我拜讀,我就給妳4萬塊

408
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:27,579
‪不行,我只是先知會你
‪萬一雙胞胎真的公諸於世

409
00:21:27,579 --> 00:21:28,788
‪你才不會措手不及

410
00:21:29,289 --> 00:21:30,707
‪天啊,我恨死那兩個傢伙了

411
00:21:30,707 --> 00:21:35,337
‪爛人,找我碴是一回事
‪但妳沒不該面對這些

412
00:21:36,588 --> 00:21:38,590
‪我想是時候報復了

413
00:21:38,590 --> 00:21:41,217
‪我們冷凍庫裡還有一些天花病毒

414
00:21:41,217 --> 00:21:45,013
‪我有不同想法
‪但我喜歡妳搞不清楚事情輕重

415
00:21:49,142 --> 00:21:52,020
‪所以我們握住一頭
‪把整捲扔到房子上?

416
00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:54,522
‪還有草叢和樹,所有東西

417
00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:56,691
‪所有東西,天啊,真刺激

418
00:21:57,442 --> 00:22:01,279
‪爽啦,我們來找你們了!

419
00:22:01,905 --> 00:22:04,074
‪要是下雨,就不可能清得乾淨

420
00:22:04,074 --> 00:22:05,950
‪天啊,真希望下雨

421
00:22:06,618 --> 00:22:08,495
‪下雨吧!

422
00:22:08,995 --> 00:22:11,039
‪好,別再吼了,我們快到了

423
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:13,249
‪關車燈

424
00:22:13,249 --> 00:22:15,210
‪我們像貓一樣在夜裡悄悄移動

425
00:22:23,468 --> 00:22:24,719
‪你好像撞到雙胞胎之一了

426
00:23:41,379 --> 00:23:46,384
‪字幕翻譯:莊雅婷