1
00:00:06,132 --> 00:00:07,884
[whimsical music playing]
2
00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:12,805
- [tires screeching]
- [twin grunts]
3
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:15,641
[whimsical music ends]
4
00:00:15,641 --> 00:00:18,102
- I think you just hit a twin.
- Uh-oh.
5
00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,980
- Do you think he's dead?
- [twin] Ellis Dragon!
6
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:22,648
You son of a bitch!
7
00:00:23,149 --> 00:00:25,151
Well, he's not dead, so that's a win.
8
00:00:25,151 --> 00:00:27,987
[twin] Are you just in there talking?
Get out of the car and help me!
9
00:00:27,987 --> 00:00:31,282
- He's being so pushy.
- I know. I hate to reward that behavior.
10
00:00:32,617 --> 00:00:34,660
[twin groaning]
11
00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:36,954
Hey, one of the twins, are you okay?
12
00:00:36,954 --> 00:00:39,332
I'm Chaz. I'm the sporty one,
and no, my arm really hurts.
13
00:00:39,332 --> 00:00:42,293
Oh my God, Chaz! What did they do to you?
14
00:00:42,293 --> 00:00:44,545
They hit me with their car,
and I totally scraped my arm.
15
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:47,507
And they did it after midnight,
so they did it on our birthday.
16
00:00:47,507 --> 00:00:49,092
Oh, it's your birthday? Happy birthday.
17
00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:51,677
That's wonderful news.
Do you have any plans?
18
00:00:51,677 --> 00:00:53,638
Why should we tell you?
You tried to kill Chaz.
19
00:00:53,638 --> 00:00:56,140
[splutters] Whoa!
No one tried to kill anyone.
20
00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:58,226
The real question is
who walks in their driveway
21
00:00:58,226 --> 00:00:59,352
in the middle of the night?
22
00:00:59,352 --> 00:01:00,978
Yeah, that's insane.
23
00:01:00,978 --> 00:01:02,563
I was getting the mail.
24
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:05,024
Why were you pulling up to our house
with your headlights off?
25
00:01:05,024 --> 00:01:06,734
Don't try to make this about us.
26
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:09,946
You're the one scurrying around out here
like a rat looking for your night mail.
27
00:01:09,946 --> 00:01:11,072
They're up to something.
28
00:01:11,072 --> 00:01:14,117
- We should call the police.
- Okay, we'll tell you the truth.
29
00:01:14,659 --> 00:01:16,577
[sighs] We were in the neighborhood
because Anna...
30
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:17,495
[Anna] Mm?
31
00:01:17,995 --> 00:01:18,996
...is house hunting.
32
00:01:19,497 --> 00:01:22,375
Yes. Yes, I am. I love this area.
33
00:01:22,375 --> 00:01:25,002
- Because of the pepper trees?
- Because of the pepper trees.
34
00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:27,755
Ha! Pepper trees are not a feature
of this neighborhood. You lied!
35
00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:29,674
You're here to kill us.
We should press charges.
36
00:01:29,674 --> 00:01:32,510
And tell the board what they did,
and that any of them could be next.
37
00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:35,763
Yeah, then they're gonna vote you out.
There's two things board members hate.
38
00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:37,807
Losing money and being murdered.
39
00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:38,724
Okay.
40
00:01:39,517 --> 00:01:44,313
The truth is we knew it was your birthday,
and we wanted to surprise you with a gift.
41
00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:45,648
Is it death?
42
00:01:45,648 --> 00:01:48,067
No, it's something else.
Something amazing.
43
00:01:48,067 --> 00:01:50,361
Why would you get us a gift?
You don't even like us.
44
00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:54,240
Nonsense. Of course we like you, bros.
45
00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:56,325
[hesitating] Come on, my boys.
46
00:01:56,325 --> 00:01:59,328
We always wanted to be friends.
We just got off on the wrong foot.
47
00:01:59,328 --> 00:02:01,497
Probably because we're intimidated
by how cool you are.
48
00:02:01,497 --> 00:02:04,333
- We are pretty cool.
- That's probably why nobody talks to us.
49
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:06,377
Okay, we'll accept your gift. Where is it?
50
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:08,004
- Anna?
- Hmm?
51
00:02:08,004 --> 00:02:09,380
- Get the gift.
- [clicks tongue]
52
00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:11,215
The gift. The gift was your idea.
53
00:02:11,215 --> 00:02:12,717
Why don't you go and get it?
54
00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:19,307
Oh, Anna, we forgot the gift.
Oh, my... So embarrassing.
55
00:02:19,307 --> 00:02:24,187
Oh my God. Why does this always happen?
I'm so sorry, you guys. But you know what?
56
00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:28,065
This whole experience
has kind of been a gift, so, um...
57
00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:30,193
Good night.
58
00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:32,278
You could go get it.
59
00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:34,572
[TJ] Yeah, if there even is a gift.
60
00:02:34,572 --> 00:02:37,992
There better be. If there isn't, it means
you don't really want to be our friends,
61
00:02:37,992 --> 00:02:40,745
and you came over here
for some evil reason and ran me over.
62
00:02:40,745 --> 00:02:42,914
Then we'd have to report it to the po-po.
63
00:02:42,914 --> 00:02:45,041
Wh-- Okay. [chuckles]
64
00:02:45,041 --> 00:02:47,168
Guys, of course there's a gift.
65
00:02:47,168 --> 00:02:48,920
Because if there wasn't,
it would mean what?
66
00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:51,339
That we... Let's follow your logic.
67
00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:52,381
We get in our car.
68
00:02:52,381 --> 00:02:55,384
We drive all the way down here
for some nefarious reason,
69
00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:58,221
turn our lights off, already weird,
70
00:02:58,221 --> 00:03:02,099
pull into your driveway and hit you
while you were getting your night mail?
71
00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:03,976
That's what you're saying?
72
00:03:03,976 --> 00:03:06,062
Can you hear yourselves? You sound insane.
73
00:03:07,772 --> 00:03:09,649
We will bring you your gift tomorrow.
74
00:03:10,900 --> 00:03:12,151
You're gonna love it.
75
00:03:12,151 --> 00:03:14,070
[whimsical music playing]
76
00:03:19,784 --> 00:03:20,910
[whimsical music ends]
77
00:03:20,910 --> 00:03:22,703
This may be the only time I ever say this,
78
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:25,665
but I need you to stop working
and focus on a huge distraction.
79
00:03:25,665 --> 00:03:27,500
How dare you interrupt my work?
80
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,253
Kidding. What are we getting into?
81
00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:32,171
We have to get a gift
for the twins, remember?
82
00:03:32,171 --> 00:03:34,090
So you don't go to jail
for almost killing one.
83
00:03:34,090 --> 00:03:36,175
Especially since you laid out
exactly what happened,
84
00:03:36,175 --> 00:03:38,970
which even a mediocre lawyer
could interpret as a confession.
85
00:03:38,970 --> 00:03:42,056
Oh God, I've never wanted
to get back to work more. [sighs]
86
00:03:42,056 --> 00:03:45,309
All right. What if we get them something
specifically designed for two people?
87
00:03:45,309 --> 00:03:48,813
Like what? Walkie-talkies?
A couples massage?
88
00:03:48,813 --> 00:03:50,982
I love that. Or a horse costume?
89
00:03:50,982 --> 00:03:52,775
One could be the tail,
one could be the head.
90
00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:55,361
In my experience with those,
there's not a lot of air in the back.
91
00:03:55,361 --> 00:03:57,822
You wanted to be in the back.
You didn't want to steer.
92
00:03:57,822 --> 00:03:59,282
Sorry, am I interrupting?
93
00:03:59,282 --> 00:04:01,200
Yes, and thank you.
94
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,744
So we've been working crazy long hours
in the lab.
95
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,413
Uh, if it's all right with you,
96
00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:07,873
I was thinking we could cut out early
and blow off some steam.
97
00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:09,000
We could all go to a movie,
98
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,210
or what if we got into
a couple of horse costumes?
99
00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:14,422
No, I was thinking more of a bar,
and just the lab people,
100
00:04:14,422 --> 00:04:16,757
and no one would be in a horse costume.
101
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:19,593
You're right. We should get drinks.
It should be just us. Sorry, Anna.
102
00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:23,848
He's never not been invited to something.
He doesn't understand what's happening.
103
00:04:23,848 --> 00:04:26,976
I'm not talking about you, bud.
You're not invited.
104
00:04:26,976 --> 00:04:31,647
I love you, and I know this is painful,
but this moment's gonna make you stronger.
105
00:04:31,647 --> 00:04:32,898
No, I...
106
00:04:33,733 --> 00:04:37,069
I like this. Here. Here's my credit card.
The evening is on me.
107
00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:40,156
- Wow. Thank you.
- You're looking out for friends.
108
00:04:40,156 --> 00:04:43,075
And maybe somebody
who's more than a friend? Ruby.
109
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,077
Okay, I'm gonna go.
110
00:04:45,745 --> 00:04:47,079
[distant phone ringing]
111
00:04:47,079 --> 00:04:49,915
I've got it.
The perfect gift for the twins.
112
00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:52,043
- Sheets?
- No. Why would it be sheets?
113
00:04:52,043 --> 00:04:54,253
Because the right bedding
really makes a room.
114
00:04:54,253 --> 00:04:57,340
Okay. Well, we'll get my thing,
and then we'll get sheets.
115
00:04:57,340 --> 00:05:00,343
[whimsical music playing]
116
00:05:00,343 --> 00:05:02,470
Hey, I've got good news.
117
00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:04,430
Dad said we could leave early? Your dad?
118
00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:08,017
Yes. And he gave us... his credit card.
119
00:05:08,017 --> 00:05:09,310
[exhales] Awesome.
120
00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:11,312
This is just what I need
to get over my ex.
121
00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:15,232
- The HR guy you never went out with?
- Can you not bring him up in front of me?
122
00:05:15,232 --> 00:05:16,317
[Jackson] Mm.
123
00:05:16,317 --> 00:05:19,528
So how are things going with Ruby?
Is she gonna come tonight?
124
00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:21,113
I hope so. I like her,
125
00:05:21,113 --> 00:05:24,283
and I feel like something
could maybe happen one day in the future.
126
00:05:24,283 --> 00:05:25,826
Potentially. Or maybe not.
127
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,745
Okay, baller status.
128
00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:31,832
We are going to respectfully bag
some hot consenting tail tonight.
129
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,542
Potentially. Or maybe not.
130
00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:36,212
- Here's to something maybe happening.
- Yeah.
131
00:05:36,212 --> 00:05:37,671
[whimsical music plays]
132
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:40,758
We are on for tonight,
and you're coming, right?
133
00:05:40,758 --> 00:05:44,762
Definitely. I was just gonna go home
and watch Dateline with Brian like always,
134
00:05:44,762 --> 00:05:46,138
but this is good.
135
00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:49,683
I never go out drinking and partying.
I don't even know how to do it.
136
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:52,895
What if I can't do it? What if
I'm only good at watching Dateline?
137
00:05:52,895 --> 00:05:55,189
Whoa. Remember? We talked about this.
138
00:05:55,189 --> 00:05:57,566
You said, “Don’t let Couch Luna scare me
into staying home."
139
00:05:57,566 --> 00:06:00,403
"Stand up to her.
Bite her if you have to.” So you’re going.
140
00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:03,239
You're right.
And thank you for not biting me.
141
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:06,450
Maybe I'll dance,
or drink something that's on fire.
142
00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:07,410
Then throw it up,
143
00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:09,578
then do it all over again,
like a frigging Roman.
144
00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:11,747
Good for you. Also don't do any of that.
145
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:15,459
So are you excited
to hang out with Jackson?
146
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:19,255
Yeah. I like him.
Our date was a little bumpy,
147
00:06:19,255 --> 00:06:23,008
but ever since then, he's been acting
like a normal human, and I love humans.
148
00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:24,135
Third-best species.
149
00:06:24,135 --> 00:06:26,220
Fourth. Remember? Whales.
150
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:27,763
Oh, yeah.
151
00:06:27,763 --> 00:06:29,348
[whimsical music playing]
152
00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:33,144
- You totally nailed that present.
- Thank you.
153
00:06:33,144 --> 00:06:36,188
The other twin's gonna ask us
to come back and run over him.
154
00:06:36,188 --> 00:06:37,857
Which I will gladly do.
155
00:06:39,150 --> 00:06:41,569
- Happy birthday!
- Happy birthday!
156
00:06:41,569 --> 00:06:44,572
And here is the present
that we did not forget this time.
157
00:06:44,572 --> 00:06:45,573
Ta-da!
158
00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:48,868
It's a tandem bike. It's for two people.
Which is how many people you are.
159
00:06:48,868 --> 00:06:50,578
You literally can't ride one alone.
160
00:06:50,578 --> 00:06:53,164
Well, you can, but it's sad.
It looks like someone died.
161
00:06:53,164 --> 00:06:55,082
A tandem bicycle's a great gift.
162
00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:57,668
- The first four times.
- Yeah, we have four of them.
163
00:06:57,668 --> 00:06:59,044
[Anna groans]
164
00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:01,672
It's what everyone gets twins.
165
00:07:01,672 --> 00:07:04,258
Does everyone fill the basket with sheets?
166
00:07:04,258 --> 00:07:05,426
No. Why would they?
167
00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:06,886
To pull together a room.
168
00:07:06,886 --> 00:07:10,848
Look, the important thing is we tried,
and that's enough.
169
00:07:10,848 --> 00:07:13,434
If you really wanted to be our friends,
like you said last night,
170
00:07:13,434 --> 00:07:15,769
you wouldn't just drop off
some crappy present and go.
171
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:18,189
Yeah. They don't care about us.
We should press charges.
172
00:07:18,189 --> 00:07:21,275
What would it be? Attempted manslaughter
or second-degree murder?
173
00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:24,195
- I’ll get my copy of the Constitoosh.
- I'm gonna get mine too.
174
00:07:26,655 --> 00:07:28,365
- This is going terribly.
- I know.
175
00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:31,243
I think they may be lonely.
We might have to really be their friends.
176
00:07:31,243 --> 00:07:32,578
I think you might be right.
177
00:07:32,578 --> 00:07:34,288
[both groaning]
178
00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:35,623
- Hi!
- Hi!
179
00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:37,082
We couldn't find them.
180
00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:39,960
All we could find was the Declaraish.
There’s nothing about murder there.
181
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:44,757
Hey, guys, we are not attempted murderers.
We're your buds. Come on.
182
00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:48,511
- Bring it in. Happy birthday.
- Aw, hug.
183
00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:52,389
Is it just TJ's birthday?
Is that the reason I'm not getting a hug?
184
00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,433
Oh, you want one too?
185
00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:57,269
Well, I don't go around assuming
that everyone is a hug person
186
00:07:57,269 --> 00:07:59,063
because some people aren't.
187
00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:00,564
Okay, here we go.
188
00:08:01,899 --> 00:08:03,108
Plenty for me. [exhales]
189
00:08:03,609 --> 00:08:04,443
That was nice.
190
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,363
So, buds, what are we gonna do next?
191
00:08:07,363 --> 00:08:08,322
Oh!
192
00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:09,615
So much. Right, Anna?
193
00:08:09,615 --> 00:08:11,033
Absolutely!
194
00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:13,953
We're gonna birthday so hard,
you'll forget which one of you is which.
195
00:08:13,953 --> 00:08:15,120
- Sick.
- Sick.
196
00:08:15,788 --> 00:08:17,122
[light rock music playing]
197
00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:19,959
One, two, three.
198
00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:22,628
[clears throat]
199
00:08:22,628 --> 00:08:23,921
That felt good.
200
00:08:23,921 --> 00:08:27,258
It definitely did not burn my esophagus,
and I don't feel like crying.
201
00:08:27,258 --> 00:08:30,052
Same. Because I am in my element.
202
00:08:30,970 --> 00:08:33,639
Should we go dance? That's something
I wouldn't expect myself to do.
203
00:08:34,515 --> 00:08:39,144
Ooh! Look at you. Someone went home.
Do you have a bar mitzvah after this?
204
00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:41,105
Okay, I changed
because I smelled like the lab.
205
00:08:41,105 --> 00:08:43,399
Sometimes people poke fun
'cause they're jealous.
206
00:08:43,399 --> 00:08:46,569
You look good. Very handsome.
The rabbi's gonna love it.
207
00:08:46,569 --> 00:08:49,113
Let's get a drink.
Have you ever had a spicy rim job?
208
00:08:49,113 --> 00:08:51,824
What kind of question is that
to ask a 13-year-old Jewish boy?
209
00:08:51,824 --> 00:08:52,741
[Ruby chuckles]
210
00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:56,870
[phone chimes]
211
00:08:57,663 --> 00:09:00,207
[sighs] It's my boyfriend.
He keeps texting me.
212
00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:03,294
Does he feel threatened
because you're out with the likes of this?
213
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,838
He's just used to me being home.
214
00:09:05,838 --> 00:09:07,089
[phone chimes]
215
00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:10,175
He wants to know
how to tell when spaghetti is ready.
216
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:11,719
- [phone chimes]
- [inhales deeply]
217
00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:14,513
And if throwing it at the wall
is a real thing.
218
00:09:15,014 --> 00:09:17,600
Relationships, huh? Man, they are...
219
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:20,811
Actually, I don't know.
I've never really been in one.
220
00:09:20,811 --> 00:09:22,396
Is it worth it? Are you happy?
221
00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:26,108
I'm a lot happier than I would be
if I were single. Statistically.
222
00:09:26,108 --> 00:09:27,860
- Statistically?
- Yeah.
223
00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:31,238
People in relationships
are 9.3% more likely to be happy.
224
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:34,867
And tonight, we're gonna find someone
for you so you can be a statistic.
225
00:09:34,867 --> 00:09:37,202
- That sounds like I'm gonna get murdered.
- Probably not.
226
00:09:37,703 --> 00:09:39,538
Although 1,000 Datelines would disagree.
227
00:09:42,124 --> 00:09:43,250
Oh God.
228
00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:46,754
Is that the hot HR guy?
What's he doing here?
229
00:09:46,754 --> 00:09:50,090
I don't know. I lied to him
about why I bailed on our date.
230
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,008
Just play along.
231
00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:53,385
Hi.
232
00:09:53,385 --> 00:09:57,139
Malcolm. Hey, how's your aunt?
They have to amputate the foot?
233
00:09:58,015 --> 00:09:58,974
They sure did.
234
00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:02,770
- Diabetes is a terrible disease.
- I thought she got bit by a snake?
235
00:10:03,479 --> 00:10:06,357
Right, she did.
I was starting a new conversation.
236
00:10:06,357 --> 00:10:08,609
God, I hate diabetes. Don't you?
237
00:10:09,151 --> 00:10:10,527
It's the worst.
238
00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:13,614
Well, I didn't want to interrupt.
I just wanted to see how your aunt was.
239
00:10:13,614 --> 00:10:16,325
I'm with some friends. Come say hi later.
240
00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:19,870
You should hit that.
241
00:10:20,371 --> 00:10:23,332
But I lied to him before,
and he doesn't like Ellis.
242
00:10:23,332 --> 00:10:24,458
There's too much baggage.
243
00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:27,044
Tonight, we're checking our baggage
at the gate.
244
00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:30,589
HR guy is cute, and he likes you.
Go do sex.
245
00:10:32,341 --> 00:10:34,426
So my whole family is at the reception,
246
00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:37,346
the bride throws the bouquet,
and it's headed directly to my cousin.
247
00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:40,432
Out of nowhere, my sister-in-law jumps up,
bats it out of the air
248
00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:42,726
and screams,
"Not today, you cheating bitch!"
249
00:10:42,726 --> 00:10:45,646
[chuckles] Oh my God!
Was that Eddie or Carlos's wife?
250
00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:48,315
Eddie's. Wait, how do you know
my brothers' names?
251
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:51,318
You mentioned them the other day
talking about the lake you vacation at.
252
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,861
You remember the lake?
253
00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:53,779
Wow.
254
00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:55,322
You really listen.
255
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:57,950
- Is that weird?
- Yes, women hate it when guys listen.
256
00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:01,203
- I'm kidding. It's really sweet.
- [man] Rubes.
257
00:11:02,413 --> 00:11:04,581
Oh my God, Cooper. How are you?
258
00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:08,335
Great. I just got back
from hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. Yeah.
259
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:11,839
Went all the way through British Columbia.
You'd have loved it. Amazing sunsets.
260
00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:12,798
I like sunsets.
261
00:11:13,716 --> 00:11:16,176
Oh, this is Jackson.
Jackson, Cooper. Cooper, Jackson.
262
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:19,221
Hey. Did you hear
Brandon's gonna free solo Half Dome?
263
00:11:19,221 --> 00:11:20,723
[Ruby] The guy's a freaking legend.
264
00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:23,726
He climbs onsight with no beta
and still finds bomber holds in the crux.
265
00:11:23,726 --> 00:11:24,768
That's sick.
266
00:11:26,395 --> 00:11:29,815
I know a guy named Brandon as well,
so I know how crazy they can be.
267
00:11:30,649 --> 00:11:32,401
- Who's this guy?
- He's my friend.
268
00:11:32,401 --> 00:11:34,486
We work together. Be nice.
269
00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:38,282
I'm gonna go back to the table,
270
00:11:38,282 --> 00:11:40,868
but hey, man, the Pacific Crest Trail
ends at the Canadian border.
271
00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:43,871
If you're gonna make hiking
your personality, learn the trail names.
272
00:11:47,249 --> 00:11:50,794
Step together. Step together.
Arms up, arms down.
273
00:11:50,794 --> 00:11:54,590
That's it, guys.
Keep it loose. Keep it loose.
274
00:11:54,590 --> 00:11:57,176
Don't be shy with those hips.
275
00:11:57,176 --> 00:11:58,427
[dance music playing]
276
00:11:59,678 --> 00:12:01,889
Almost there. Just find that beat.
277
00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:03,682
And pelvic thrust.
278
00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:05,476
Have sex with the air.
279
00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:08,645
[dance music ends]
280
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:10,189
This party is weak.
281
00:12:10,189 --> 00:12:13,108
Yeah, we'll just have you arrested.
That would at least be fun to watch.
282
00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:16,695
[in British accent] Oh, no, the bobbies
are dragging me to the Tower of London!
283
00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:20,616
Someone call my father, The Earl of Grey!
And my brother, Big Ben!
284
00:12:20,616 --> 00:12:22,534
Brilliant. Some random English things.
285
00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:23,577
Paddington!
286
00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:24,703
Another bull's-eye.
287
00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:25,996
I'm calling 911.
288
00:12:25,996 --> 00:12:30,292
Wait, no one's arresting anyone tonight.
We have a lot more planned. Right, Anna?
289
00:12:30,793 --> 00:12:31,668
We sure do.
290
00:12:32,294 --> 00:12:34,630
- Right, Ellis?
- [chuckles] Yup. Right, Anna?
291
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,883
Do you think we should tell them
292
00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:40,469
about the birthday party
at the bar where Jackson is?
293
00:12:40,469 --> 00:12:41,678
Yes, you're right.
294
00:12:42,179 --> 00:12:45,641
We'll be honest. We've been stalling
until your real party was ready.
295
00:12:45,641 --> 00:12:46,725
Our real party?
296
00:12:46,725 --> 00:12:50,437
Yes, at a bar with dozens of people there
to celebrate you.
297
00:12:52,314 --> 00:12:53,148
That sounds cool.
298
00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:57,194
All right, just give us a minute
to slide into our evening Uggs.
299
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:01,406
Who do they think they are,
mocking British culture?
300
00:13:01,406 --> 00:13:02,491
What about their culture?
301
00:13:02,491 --> 00:13:04,368
[in American accent]
"Oh, I eat giant portions,
302
00:13:04,368 --> 00:13:06,411
and I think history started 50 years ago."
303
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:07,913
[sighs] It's unbearable.
304
00:13:07,913 --> 00:13:10,249
And I spent a day buried in a coffin
with David Blaine.
305
00:13:10,249 --> 00:13:13,544
- Actually, that was six minutes.
- Yeah, but we were face to face.
306
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:18,507
Hey, sorry to interrupt.
Do these guys also work in HR?
307
00:13:18,507 --> 00:13:22,177
[chuckles] Uh, no. Believe it or not,
I'm not just an HR dork.
308
00:13:22,177 --> 00:13:23,804
This is my bee society.
309
00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:25,138
Yeah, we're bee people.
310
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,266
- Cool, cool.
- It is cool.
311
00:13:27,266 --> 00:13:30,102
Unless you think studying,
appreciating, and trying to save,
312
00:13:30,102 --> 00:13:33,730
oh, I don't know, the insect linchpin
of our planet isn't cool.
313
00:13:34,398 --> 00:13:37,693
Uh-huh. Can we talk for a minute
on a non-bee related topic?
314
00:13:37,693 --> 00:13:39,486
Sure, I can take a bee break.
315
00:13:40,571 --> 00:13:42,072
Bees never get a break.
316
00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:43,699
[Ruby laughs]
317
00:13:46,535 --> 00:13:49,204
Don't worry about Cooper.
Ruby's not into him.
318
00:13:49,705 --> 00:13:51,039
It seems like she is.
319
00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:53,667
They just used to hook up,
but it wasn't serious.
320
00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:56,920
- Ruby just thinks he's great at sex.
- That's not helpful.
321
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,756
Maybe I should go over there.
That's what my dad would say to do.
322
00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:02,676
"Jackson, activate your core
and get back out there."
323
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:05,137
"Don't waste my genes.
I know everything about everything."
324
00:14:05,137 --> 00:14:08,098
Maybe you should listen
to that cartoon version of your dad.
325
00:14:08,098 --> 00:14:11,018
Yeah. Yeah.
Cooper's not any better than me.
326
00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:13,478
There you go.
What does he have that you don't?
327
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,188
Yes!
328
00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:18,817
Actually,
329
00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:21,320
he has Ruby.
330
00:14:24,281 --> 00:14:26,909
I like you,
so I want to tell you the truth.
331
00:14:26,909 --> 00:14:28,327
My aunt is dead.
332
00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:30,704
Oh my God, Malcolm. Are you okay?
333
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:33,874
Yes. She died ten years ago
with all her feet.
334
00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:35,167
I told you a stupid lie
335
00:14:35,167 --> 00:14:39,171
because I wanted to cancel our date
since you were talking shit about Ellis.
336
00:14:39,171 --> 00:14:42,883
That's an intense reaction.
You must really care about him.
337
00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:45,177
When I was a kid,
my dad wasn't around a lot,
338
00:14:45,177 --> 00:14:46,803
but Ellis was always there for me.
339
00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:52,392
He even got me my first job, so, yeah,
I might idolize him a little too much,
340
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:55,103
but he changed my life.
341
00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:57,648
He's what you and your friends
might call my queen bee.
342
00:14:57,648 --> 00:14:58,815
[chuckles]
343
00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:02,653
Hey, everyone, it's Chaz and TJ,
the birthday boys!
344
00:15:02,653 --> 00:15:04,029
Gather round to celebrate 'em
345
00:15:04,029 --> 00:15:07,199
'cause it's their party
that we invited you to.
346
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:10,994
Drinks are on my tab.
347
00:15:10,994 --> 00:15:13,497
[cheering]
348
00:15:13,497 --> 00:15:14,581
Malcolm, over here.
349
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:19,169
Do you need to go?
350
00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:22,089
No. I'm enjoying spending time with you.
351
00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:23,548
It's okay. Just go.
352
00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:25,884
Thank you for understanding my sickness.
353
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:28,095
[Malcolm grunts]
354
00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:29,513
I'm here.
355
00:15:29,513 --> 00:15:31,682
Oh my God. This is so fun.
356
00:15:31,682 --> 00:15:34,017
- What is?
- Everything, Malcolm.
357
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:35,352
Stay back, everyone.
358
00:15:35,352 --> 00:15:38,021
Don't crowd around the guests of honor.
You'll all get your chance.
359
00:15:39,398 --> 00:15:41,358
Who are these people?
I don't see anyone we know.
360
00:15:41,358 --> 00:15:42,818
Did you even invite Julian?
361
00:15:42,818 --> 00:15:46,196
We thought about that, but ultimately,
we wanted to protect the surprise,
362
00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:48,699
so we only invited people you don't know.
363
00:15:48,699 --> 00:15:50,867
So now you can make new friends,
like Malcolm.
364
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:52,703
He's super friendly, aren't you?
365
00:15:52,703 --> 00:15:54,454
Sure am. What's your favorite color?
366
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:57,332
- Magenta. Thank you for asking.
- Mine's also magenta.
367
00:15:57,332 --> 00:15:58,500
No way.
368
00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:00,419
It's true. But a slightly lighter shade.
369
00:16:00,419 --> 00:16:02,504
Wouldn't a lighter shade of magenta
be fuchsia?
370
00:16:02,504 --> 00:16:04,464
No. And did you get us a cake?
371
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,758
Yeah, if this is a birthday party,
there should be a cake.
372
00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:09,177
There is a cake. I'll go get the cake.
373
00:16:09,177 --> 00:16:11,346
You beautiful birthday bastards.
374
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,224
So what's your favorite color?
375
00:16:14,224 --> 00:16:16,143
Oh, no. Don't make me pick.
376
00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:17,978
- [chuckles] You have to.
- You made us pick.
377
00:16:17,978 --> 00:16:19,730
[inhales] It's blue.
378
00:16:19,730 --> 00:16:21,440
- [laughing] You're a blue guy?
- No way.
379
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:23,191
[TJ] We gotta get you a drink.
380
00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:25,652
We're gonna get you
something blue. This guy...
381
00:16:27,863 --> 00:16:31,074
- Oh my God, how did you do that?
- I just asked them about themselves.
382
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:32,868
Huh.
383
00:16:32,868 --> 00:16:34,828
I like alcohol. It's my friend.
384
00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:37,122
Definitely makes things hurt less.
385
00:16:37,122 --> 00:16:38,749
Or more. Can't tell.
386
00:16:38,749 --> 00:16:40,292
I'm sorry about Ruby.
387
00:16:40,292 --> 00:16:43,712
It's okay. We're not in a relationship.
She can do what she wants.
388
00:16:43,712 --> 00:16:47,883
I think you're a much more remarkable,
interesting, weird person
389
00:16:47,883 --> 00:16:49,301
than Cooper will ever be.
390
00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:54,389
Thank you. I think you're remarkable,
interesting, and weird too.
391
00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:55,724
- Thank you.
- [phone chimes]
392
00:17:00,312 --> 00:17:01,521
Should we dance?
393
00:17:02,147 --> 00:17:04,441
I've been asking people all night,
and no one wants to.
394
00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:07,527
It's not really a dancing place,
but how do you feel about pancakes?
395
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,237
I really like pancakes.
396
00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:12,532
Okay, I know a guy. His name is Denny.
He makes pancakes all night long.
397
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:16,119
You know Denny? That's so cool.
That guy has, like, eight syrups.
398
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:18,205
Denny rolls deep in syrups.
399
00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:19,831
Should we go say hi to him?
400
00:17:19,831 --> 00:17:23,460
Yes. First, something called Crunk Juice
is testing the limits of my bladder.
401
00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:26,213
Okay, I'm gonna go pay the tab.
Should we race?
402
00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:28,090
That's stupid. Go!
403
00:17:32,803 --> 00:17:33,637
Jackson.
404
00:17:33,637 --> 00:17:35,097
Dad? What are you doing here?
405
00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:36,890
I'm looking for a cake for the twins.
406
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:39,267
That can't be the answer
to the question I just asked you.
407
00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:42,771
- How's everything with Ruby?
- She, uh, left with another guy.
408
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:44,397
Okay.
409
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,983
I'm okay with it,
but tell me everything I did wrong.
410
00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:49,528
I should've been more confident,
tried to stop her,
411
00:17:49,528 --> 00:17:51,655
stood-up straighter,
got a haircut from your guy.
412
00:17:51,655 --> 00:17:52,823
No, no. I think it's great.
413
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,534
- Why?
- Because that's what life's about.
414
00:17:56,118 --> 00:18:00,080
Putting yourself out there, trying things.
It's all I've ever wanted for you.
415
00:18:00,664 --> 00:18:02,916
When stuff goes wrong, you recover.
I mean, look at me.
416
00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:05,627
I ran over a twin,
now I'm looking for a birthday cake.
417
00:18:05,627 --> 00:18:07,587
We're all just trying to figure shit out.
418
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,131
[chuckles] Wow.
419
00:18:09,631 --> 00:18:13,009
That was surprisingly good parenting.
And with zero judgment.
420
00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:16,179
- Sorry I don't have a cake for you.
- Apology accepted.
421
00:18:17,556 --> 00:18:20,517
Hi, Ellis. Oh God.
Do we have to go back to work?
422
00:18:20,517 --> 00:18:22,978
Because drunk science
would be so much fun.
423
00:18:22,978 --> 00:18:26,857
It is. But no, I have to go to the kitchen
and look for a birthday cake.
424
00:18:26,857 --> 00:18:28,942
Although I'm not confident
in the pastry skills
425
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:31,653
of the man responsible
for the epic trash can nachos.
426
00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:37,701
- Why is your dad looking for a cake?
- I don't know. Why does he do anything?
427
00:18:38,577 --> 00:18:39,452
Hey, guys!
428
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,454
Ruby. I thought you left.
429
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:43,957
With Cooper? No way.
I just had to get him into an Uber.
430
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:46,459
Did you think,
in the middle of our conversation,
431
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:47,961
I would just ditch you for some guy?
432
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:50,463
Well, it wasn't just some guy.
It was Coop.
433
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,090
He wandered aimlessly around Canada
434
00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:53,800
thinking he was
on the Pacific Crest Trail.
435
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,344
Jackson, come on.
I was having a nice time with you.
436
00:18:57,012 --> 00:18:58,763
I was having a nice time with you too.
437
00:18:59,848 --> 00:19:01,224
[Jackson chuckles]
438
00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:05,228
Oh, Luna and I were about to get pancakes.
Do you want to join?
439
00:19:05,228 --> 00:19:09,149
Um, actually, I think I'm gonna stay here.
Uh, see what Malcolm's up to.
440
00:19:15,113 --> 00:19:16,656
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
441
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:19,868
I've always wanted to learn a more
time-consuming way to shake hands.
442
00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:22,287
You two go have fun. Yeah.
443
00:19:23,747 --> 00:19:25,123
Should we get pancakes?
444
00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:27,876
Or we could skip the pancakes.
445
00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:29,628
That works.
446
00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:36,927
Turn it.
447
00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:44,684
Squid! That was fun.
448
00:19:45,477 --> 00:19:48,688
And you, you're nothing like you are
in Anna's fan fiction.
449
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,190
You write fan fiction about me?
450
00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:52,442
Oh my God. Am I a vampire?
451
00:19:52,442 --> 00:19:55,237
Like you could keep up
with the other vampires.
452
00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:56,238
But okay, fine.
453
00:19:56,238 --> 00:19:58,907
If you never mention this again,
I will make you a vampire.
454
00:19:58,907 --> 00:19:59,866
Yay.
455
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:02,827
Happy birthday! We got you beef cakes.
456
00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:06,414
Because the two of you are beefcakes.
457
00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:08,541
- Did you hear what they called us?
- I love it.
458
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:11,461
- We have been working out.
- It's nice to be seen.
459
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:14,839
Yay!
460
00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:16,132
[phone chimes]
461
00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:20,262
["Be My Lover" by La Bouche playing]
462
00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:24,641
♪ La-da-da-dee-da-da-da-da ♪
463
00:20:25,308 --> 00:20:29,020
♪ La-da-da-dee-da ♪
464
00:20:29,020 --> 00:20:31,648
♪ La-la-dee-da-da-da-da ♪
465
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:36,820
♪ Be my lover, wanna be my lover ♪
466
00:20:44,369 --> 00:20:47,664
♪ Looking back on all the time
We spent together ♪
467
00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:50,959
♪ You oughta know by now
If you wanna be my lover ♪
468
00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:53,169
♪ Wanna be my lover ♪
469
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:58,300
♪ Go ahead and take your time,
Boy, you gotta feel secure ♪
470
00:20:58,300 --> 00:21:01,678
♪ Before I make you mine
Baby, you have to be sure ♪
471
00:21:01,678 --> 00:21:06,891
♪ You wanna be my lover
Wanna be my lover, wanna be my lover ♪
472
00:21:08,059 --> 00:21:10,603
♪ La-da-da-dee-da-da-da-da ♪
473
00:21:11,688 --> 00:21:14,441
♪ La-da-da-dee-da-da-da-da ♪
474
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,277
♪ La-da-da-dee-da... ♪
475
00:21:17,277 --> 00:21:19,237
["Love Tonight" by Groovetek playing]
476
00:21:19,237 --> 00:21:20,613
♪ One love... ♪
477
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:23,408
Look at those weirdos
dancing with our weirdos.
478
00:21:24,075 --> 00:21:25,952
We made friendship happen tonight.
479
00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:27,537
- We really did, didn't we?
- Mm.
480
00:21:29,706 --> 00:21:32,459
- Must be hard not having friends.
- Yeah.
481
00:21:33,418 --> 00:21:34,336
Do you have friends?
482
00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:36,046
Not a lot.
483
00:21:37,172 --> 00:21:38,715
- Do you?
- Mostly no.
484
00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:41,051
Katie was my friend.
485
00:21:42,886 --> 00:21:44,346
Wait a minute, are we friends?
486
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:47,307
I don't know. Are we?
487
00:21:47,891 --> 00:21:51,061
Well, you've been with me through
a kidnapping and a vehicular assault.
488
00:21:51,061 --> 00:21:54,230
You were there for me with toilet paper
when I was being blackmailed.
489
00:21:54,731 --> 00:21:56,232
Maybe we are friends.
490
00:21:57,150 --> 00:21:58,026
To friendship.
491
00:22:00,904 --> 00:22:02,864
So what's your favorite color?
492
00:22:02,864 --> 00:22:04,741
- Oh, we don't have to do that.
- Thank God.
493
00:22:04,741 --> 00:22:07,410
♪ Do you wanna love tonight? ♪
494
00:22:08,036 --> 00:22:10,163
♪ Do you wanna do me right? ♪
495
00:22:10,163 --> 00:22:12,499
You guys really turned it out
for me and my bro.
496
00:22:12,499 --> 00:22:13,458
Yeah, great hang.
497
00:22:13,458 --> 00:22:15,460
So, we all good then?
498
00:22:15,460 --> 00:22:19,214
- Yeah, we're not gonna press charges.
- You guys are familia.
499
00:22:19,214 --> 00:22:21,966
We just hope we're never forced
to vote you out of the company.
500
00:22:21,966 --> 00:22:25,053
That's funny because you actually
have a choice over how you vote.
501
00:22:25,804 --> 00:22:28,306
Yeah, but we really need you
to make us some money.
502
00:22:28,306 --> 00:22:31,226
Because we like you, but we love money.
503
00:22:31,226 --> 00:22:35,605
- Money, money! Money, money!
- Money, money! Money, money!
504
00:22:36,106 --> 00:22:37,148
We're gonna be okay.
505
00:22:37,148 --> 00:22:40,402
Tomorrow, we kick it into high gear
and pump out something incredible
506
00:22:40,402 --> 00:22:44,489
because we have some of the most serious,
hardworking professionals
507
00:22:45,490 --> 00:22:46,324
in the world.
508
00:22:48,576 --> 00:22:50,078
♪ One love tonight ♪
509
00:22:50,078 --> 00:22:51,204
♪ Baby, give me... ♪
510
00:22:51,204 --> 00:22:53,164
[Ellis] Tomorrow, we start fresh.
511
00:22:54,124 --> 00:22:55,291
No more distractions.
512
00:22:55,291 --> 00:22:57,043
♪ One love tonight ♪
513
00:22:57,043 --> 00:22:58,503
♪ Baby, give me the night ♪
514
00:22:58,503 --> 00:23:00,338
♪ One love tonight ♪
515
00:23:00,338 --> 00:23:02,424
- [song fades]
- [closing theme playing]
516
00:24:23,671 --> 00:24:25,089
[closing theme ends]