1
00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:17,393
‪你好像撞到雙胞胎之一了

2
00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,980
‪-你覺得他死了嗎?
‪-艾利斯德雷根!

3
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:22,648
‪你這個混蛋!

4
00:00:23,149 --> 00:00:25,151
‪他還沒死,所以我們贏了

5
00:00:25,151 --> 00:00:27,987
‪你就光待在裡面說話嗎?
‪快下車幫忙!

6
00:00:27,987 --> 00:00:28,988
‪他真嗆

7
00:00:28,988 --> 00:00:31,282
‪我知道,我不想獎勵這種行為

8
00:00:34,744 --> 00:00:36,954
‪嘿,雙胞胎之一,你還好嗎?

9
00:00:36,954 --> 00:00:39,332
‪我是會運動的查茲
‪我不好,手痛死了

10
00:00:39,332 --> 00:00:42,293
‪天啊,查茲!他們對你做了什麼?

11
00:00:42,293 --> 00:00:44,545
‪他們用車撞我,我的手臂都擦傷了

12
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:47,507
‪而且發生在午夜後
‪也就是我們的生日,簡直兩倍差勁

13
00:00:47,507 --> 00:00:49,092
‪你生日啊?生日快樂

14
00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:51,677
‪真是太棒了,你們有什麼計畫?

15
00:00:51,677 --> 00:00:53,638
‪幹嘛告訴妳?你們想撞死查茲耶

16
00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:59,352
‪沒人想撞死誰
‪問題是誰大半夜會走在車道上?

17
00:00:59,352 --> 00:01:00,978
‪對啊,太扯了

18
00:01:00,978 --> 00:01:02,605
‪我要去收信

19
00:01:02,605 --> 00:01:05,024
‪你們又幹嘛關掉車頭燈
‪停靠在我們家門口?

20
00:01:05,024 --> 00:01:06,734
‪別把焦點轉移到我們身上

21
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:09,946
‪對啊,是你自己像隻
‪四處閒晃的老鼠,半夜出來拿信

22
00:01:09,946 --> 00:01:11,155
‪他們心懷不軌

23
00:01:11,155 --> 00:01:14,325
‪-我們應該報警
‪-好吧,我們說實話就是了

24
00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:17,078
‪我們來附近是因為安娜

25
00:01:17,954 --> 00:01:18,996
‪在找房子

26
00:01:19,497 --> 00:01:22,375
‪對,沒錯,我喜歡這一區

27
00:01:22,375 --> 00:01:25,002
‪-因為胡椒樹嗎?
‪-就是為了胡椒樹

28
00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:28,047
‪辣椒樹不是這區的特色,妳撒謊

29
00:01:28,047 --> 00:01:29,674
‪你們想害死我們,去告他們

30
00:01:29,674 --> 00:01:32,510
‪把這件事告訴董事會
‪警告他們也可能會遭殃

31
00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:35,763
‪之後他們會投票換掉你們
‪因為董事會成員討厭兩件事

32
00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:37,807
‪賠錢和被謀殺

33
00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:38,724
‪好吧

34
00:01:39,517 --> 00:01:44,313
‪其實我們來是知道你們過生日
‪想帶禮物來給你們驚喜

35
00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:45,648
‪送來死亡嗎?

36
00:01:45,648 --> 00:01:48,067
‪不,是別的東西,超讚的

37
00:01:48,067 --> 00:01:50,361
‪為什麼要送禮物?
‪你們根本不喜歡我們

38
00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:54,240
‪胡說,我們當然喜歡你們了,兄弟

39
00:01:54,866 --> 00:01:59,328
‪別這樣,我們一直想交好
‪只是一開始就不順利

40
00:01:59,328 --> 00:02:01,497
‪也許是被你們的酷勁嚇到了

41
00:02:01,497 --> 00:02:04,333
‪-我們是很酷
‪-所以才沒人跟我們說話

42
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:06,377
‪好吧,禮物我們收了,在哪裡?

43
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:08,713
‪安娜,去拿禮物

44
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:12,508
‪禮物?禮物是你的主意
‪還是你去拿吧

45
00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:19,307
‪安娜,我們忘了禮物,天啊,真尷尬

46
00:02:19,307 --> 00:02:24,187
‪不會吧,怎麼老是這樣?
‪真的抱歉,但你們知道嗎?

47
00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:28,065
‪這整個經歷本身就是禮物,所以...

48
00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:30,193
‪晚安

49
00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:32,278
‪你們可以去拿

50
00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:34,572
‪對啊,如果真的有禮物的話

51
00:02:34,572 --> 00:02:37,992
‪最好有,否則就表示
‪你們無心跟我們交友

52
00:02:37,992 --> 00:02:40,870
‪來這裡是心懷不軌,還想撞死我

53
00:02:40,870 --> 00:02:42,914
‪那我們就得通報條子杯杯

54
00:02:43,998 --> 00:02:48,920
‪好吧,兩位,當然有禮物
‪如果沒有,那代表什麼?

55
00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:51,339
‪我們...照你們的邏輯走

56
00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:55,384
‪我們上了車,居心叵測一路開來這裡

57
00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:58,221
‪關掉車頭燈,到這裡已經夠詭異了

58
00:02:58,221 --> 00:03:02,099
‪把車停進你們的車道
‪撞上外出拿信的你?

59
00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:03,976
‪你是這個意思嗎?

60
00:03:03,976 --> 00:03:06,062
‪聽聽自己說的,太荒謬了!

61
00:03:07,772 --> 00:03:09,649
‪我們明天會把禮物送過來

62
00:03:10,900 --> 00:03:12,151
‪包你們喜歡

63
00:03:12,151 --> 00:03:15,196
‪艾利斯的震盪人生

64
00:03:20,993 --> 00:03:22,703
‪這應該是我唯一一次這麼說

65
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:25,665
‪但你得先停下手邊工作
‪專心處理一個嚴重干擾

66
00:03:25,665 --> 00:03:27,500
‪妳竟敢打斷我工作?

67
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,253
‪開玩笑的,有什麼事?

68
00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:34,090
‪我們得送禮物去給雙胞胎
‪記得嗎?以免你因為謀殺未遂坐牢

69
00:03:34,090 --> 00:03:36,133
‪尤其是你已經清楚解釋過程

70
00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:38,970
‪就連二流律師都可能當成是犯罪自白

71
00:03:38,970 --> 00:03:41,347
‪老天,我根本沒想過繼續管這件事

72
00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:45,309
‪不如送他們專為雙人設計的東西吧?

73
00:03:45,309 --> 00:03:48,813
‪像什麼?對講機?伴侶按摩?

74
00:03:48,813 --> 00:03:52,775
‪我喜歡,還是駿馬套裝?
‪一個穿馬尾,另一個馬頭

75
00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:55,361
‪根據我的經驗,後半部吸不太到空氣

76
00:03:55,361 --> 00:03:57,822
‪妳想在後面?不想主導媽?

77
00:03:57,822 --> 00:03:59,282
‪抱歉,打擾到你們了嗎?

78
00:03:59,282 --> 00:04:01,242
‪是的,謝謝你

79
00:04:01,242 --> 00:04:03,911
‪我們在實驗室工作超久了

80
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:07,873
‪可以的話,我想提早下班
‪出去放鬆一下

81
00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:11,210
‪沒問題,我們可以去看電影
‪或去買駿馬套裝?

82
00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:14,422
‪不,我想去酒吧
‪只約實驗室的工作人員

83
00:04:14,422 --> 00:04:16,757
‪而且沒人要穿馬套裝

84
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:19,593
‪你說得對,我們應該去喝一杯
‪只有研究員,抱歉,安娜

85
00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:23,848
‪他從來沒被邀請過參加活動
‪所以搞不清楚狀況

86
00:04:23,848 --> 00:04:26,976
‪我沒說你,老兄,你沒受邀

87
00:04:26,976 --> 00:04:31,647
‪我愛你,我知道沒受邀很痛苦
‪但這一刻會讓你更堅強

88
00:04:31,647 --> 00:04:32,898
‪不,我...

89
00:04:33,733 --> 00:04:37,153
‪我喜歡這個點子
‪信用卡拿去,今晚我請客

90
00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:40,156
‪-謝謝
‪-我欣賞你關照朋友

91
00:04:40,156 --> 00:04:43,075
‪也許還有人不只是朋友?露比

92
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,077
‪好吧,我要走了

93
00:04:47,163 --> 00:04:49,915
‪我想到了,給雙胞胎的完美禮物

94
00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:52,043
‪-床單
‪-不是,為何選床單?

95
00:04:52,043 --> 00:04:54,253
‪因為合適的寢具能替臥房增色

96
00:04:54,253 --> 00:04:57,340
‪好吧,先去拿我的東西,再去買床單

97
00:05:00,426 --> 00:05:02,470
‪我有好消息

98
00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:04,430
‪爸說我們可以提早下班?你爸?

99
00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:08,017
‪對,他還奉上他的信用卡

100
00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:11,312
‪太棒了,我需要這個忘掉前任

101
00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:13,606
‪那個你沒真正約會過的人資男?

102
00:05:13,606 --> 00:05:15,232
‪能不能別在我面前提到他?

103
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:19,528
‪你跟露比進展得怎麼樣?
‪她今晚會來嗎?

104
00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:24,283
‪希望吧,我喜歡她
‪也許我們以後會有發展

105
00:05:24,283 --> 00:05:25,826
‪可能會,也可能不會

106
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,745
‪好喔,贏家氣勢

107
00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:31,832
‪今晚我們要各自享受火辣合意的性愛

108
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,542
‪可能會,也可能不會

109
00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:36,212
‪-沒錯,敬可能發生的事
‪-對

110
00:05:37,755 --> 00:05:40,800
‪我們今晚要出去,妳會一起來吧?

111
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:44,762
‪一定去, 我本來要回家
‪跟布萊恩一起看新聞節目

112
00:05:44,762 --> 00:05:46,138
‪但這活動很好

113
00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:49,350
‪我從不出去喝酒狂歡
‪都不知道怎麼做呢

114
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:52,895
‪萬一我做不到呢?
‪如果我只擅長看新聞節目怎麼辦?

115
00:05:53,813 --> 00:05:57,441
‪記得我們聊過嗎?妳說
‪“別被懶骨頭露娜嚇得待在家

116
00:05:57,441 --> 00:06:00,403
‪挺身對抗,必要的話就咬她”
‪所以妳非去不可

117
00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:02,655
‪妳說得對,謝謝妳沒咬我

118
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:06,492
‪也許我會跳舞或喝著火的飲料

119
00:06:06,492 --> 00:06:09,578
‪吐出來,再喝一次
‪就像該死的羅馬人那樣

120
00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:11,747
‪妳開心就好,但別做以上那些事

121
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:15,459
‪妳期待跟傑克森出去嗎?

122
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:19,255
‪對,我喜歡他,我們的約會有點波折

123
00:06:19,255 --> 00:06:23,008
‪但之後他表現得很正常
‪我喜歡正常人

124
00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:24,135
‪第三優秀的物種

125
00:06:24,135 --> 00:06:26,220
‪是第四,記得嗎?還有鯨魚

126
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:27,763
‪有道理

127
00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:33,144
‪-妳的禮物選得真好
‪-謝謝

128
00:06:33,144 --> 00:06:36,188
‪好到另一個雙胞胎
‪會求我們回來開車撞他

129
00:06:36,188 --> 00:06:37,857
‪我很樂意這麼做

130
00:06:39,150 --> 00:06:41,569
‪-生日快樂!
‪-生日快樂!

131
00:06:41,569 --> 00:06:44,572
‪這就是我們這次沒忘記的禮物

132
00:06:44,572 --> 00:06:45,573
‪你們看!

133
00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:48,868
‪雙人自行車,給兩個人騎的
‪符合你們的人數

134
00:06:48,868 --> 00:06:50,578
‪絕對不能一個人騎

135
00:06:50,578 --> 00:06:53,164
‪要騎也可以,但感覺很淒涼
‪好像有人死了

136
00:06:53,164 --> 00:06:56,459
‪雙人腳踏車是很棒的禮物
‪前四次收到時

137
00:06:56,459 --> 00:06:57,668
‪對,我們有四輛

138
00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:01,672
‪每個人都買這個送雙胞胎

139
00:07:01,672 --> 00:07:04,258
‪但他們也都在車籃裡放了床包組嗎?

140
00:07:04,258 --> 00:07:05,426
‪沒有,幹嘛這麼做?

141
00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:06,886
‪讓房間增色

142
00:07:06,886 --> 00:07:10,848
‪聽著,重點是我們已經盡力
‪這就夠了

143
00:07:10,848 --> 00:07:13,434
‪如果你們真的像昨晚說的
‪想跟我們交朋友

144
00:07:13,434 --> 00:07:15,769
‪就不會隨便弄個破禮物過來

145
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:18,189
‪他們不在乎我們,直接提告吧

146
00:07:18,189 --> 00:07:21,275
‪罪名是什麼?
‪殺人未遂還是二級謀殺?

147
00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:24,153
‪-我去拿我的憲法大全
‪-我也去拿

148
00:07:26,655 --> 00:07:28,365
‪-情況非常糟
‪-我知道

149
00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:31,243
‪他們可能很寂寞
‪我們也許得認真跟他們交朋友

150
00:07:31,243 --> 00:07:32,578
‪也許妳說對了

151
00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:35,623
‪-嗨!
‪-嗨!

152
00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:37,082
‪我們找不到

153
00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:39,960
‪我家只有《獨立宣言》
‪但裡面沒有謀殺的法規

154
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:44,757
‪兩位,我們沒有企圖謀殺
‪我們是好夥伴,別這樣

155
00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:48,511
‪-過來吧,生日快樂
‪-抱一下

156
00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:52,389
‪只有提傑過生日嗎?
‪所以我才得不到擁抱?

157
00:07:53,224 --> 00:07:54,433
‪你也想抱一個嗎?

158
00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:59,063
‪我可不會隨便假設每個人都愛抱抱
‪因為有些人不喜歡

159
00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:00,564
‪好吧,抱就抱

160
00:08:01,941 --> 00:08:02,816
‪夠久了

161
00:08:03,609 --> 00:08:04,443
‪感覺真好

162
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,363
‪夥伴,我們接下來要做什麼?

163
00:08:08,364 --> 00:08:09,615
‪可多著呢,對吧,安娜?

164
00:08:09,615 --> 00:08:13,953
‪沒錯,我們要瘋狂慶生
‪讓你們忘了自己是誰

165
00:08:13,953 --> 00:08:15,120
‪-讚喔
‪-讚喔

166
00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:19,959
‪一、二、三

167
00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:23,921
‪感覺真爽

168
00:08:23,921 --> 00:08:27,258
‪這一定不會灼傷食道,我也不想哭

169
00:08:27,258 --> 00:08:30,052
‪我也是,因為我玩得如魚得水

170
00:08:30,970 --> 00:08:33,639
‪要跳舞嗎?
‪這是我從來沒想過會做的事

171
00:08:35,266 --> 00:08:37,518
‪看看你,有人回家一趟

172
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:39,144
‪你結束後要去參加成年禮嗎?

173
00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:41,105
‪我換衣服因為全身都是實驗室的味道

174
00:08:41,105 --> 00:08:43,399
‪有時有些人愛取笑是因為眼紅

175
00:08:43,399 --> 00:08:46,569
‪你儀容整潔,很帥
‪祭司一定會喜歡

176
00:08:46,569 --> 00:08:49,113
‪我們去喝一杯吧
‪喝過嗆辣體熱邊緣嗎?

177
00:08:49,113 --> 00:08:51,824
‪這是哪門子問題
‪居然問一個轉大人的猶太男孩?

178
00:08:58,289 --> 00:09:00,207
‪是我男友,他一直傳簡訊來

179
00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:03,294
‪他會因為妳跟我這型的異性出去
‪覺得受威脅嗎?

180
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:06,088
‪他只是習慣我待在家

181
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:10,175
‪他問我怎麼分辨義大利麵熟了

182
00:09:11,802 --> 00:09:14,513
‪往牆上丟這招真的可行嗎?

183
00:09:15,014 --> 00:09:17,600
‪感情關係,老天,它們真的...

184
00:09:18,809 --> 00:09:20,644
‪其實我不知道,我沒真的談過

185
00:09:20,644 --> 00:09:22,396
‪值得嗎?妳開不開心?

186
00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:26,108
‪我比單身時更快樂,統計上來說

187
00:09:26,108 --> 00:09:27,860
‪-統計上?
‪-對

188
00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:31,238
‪談戀愛的人感到快樂的機率高了9.3%

189
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:34,867
‪今晚我們要幫你找個對象
‪讓你也成為統計數字

190
00:09:34,867 --> 00:09:37,244
‪-說得我好像會被謀殺
‪-應該不會

191
00:09:37,745 --> 00:09:39,538
‪雖然上千集的新聞節目並不認同

192
00:09:42,124 --> 00:09:43,250
‪天啊

193
00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:46,754
‪那是人資部的帥哥嗎?
‪他來這裡幹嘛?

194
00:09:46,754 --> 00:09:51,008
‪不知道,我騙他約會鴿子的原因
‪配合我就對了

195
00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:53,385
‪嗨

196
00:09:53,385 --> 00:09:57,139
‪麥爾坎,你阿姨還好嗎?
‪她們被迫截肢了?

197
00:09:58,015 --> 00:09:58,974
‪的確是

198
00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:02,770
‪-糖尿病是很嚴重的病
‪-不是被蛇咬嗎?

199
00:10:03,479 --> 00:10:06,357
‪沒錯,我只是開新話題

200
00:10:06,357 --> 00:10:08,609
‪天啊,我討厭糖尿病,你們呢?

201
00:10:09,151 --> 00:10:10,527
‪簡直糟透了

202
00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:13,614
‪我不想打擾,只是關心你阿姨的狀況

203
00:10:13,614 --> 00:10:16,325
‪我跟幾個朋友來,待會過來打招呼吧

204
00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:19,870
‪你應該出擊的

205
00:10:20,371 --> 00:10:24,458
‪但我之前騙了他
‪他也不喜歡艾利斯,太多包袱了

206
00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:27,044
‪今晚我們要把包袱留在門口

207
00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:30,589
‪人資男很可愛,他也喜歡你
‪去吧,去做愛

208
00:10:32,341 --> 00:10:34,426
‪我們全家人都去了婚宴

209
00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:37,346
‪新娘丟出捧花,砸到我堂妹

210
00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:40,474
‪然後我嫂子冷不防跳出來
‪從空中攔截

211
00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:42,726
‪大吼:“今天別想,偷吃的臭婊子”

212
00:10:42,726 --> 00:10:45,646
‪不會吧!是艾迪還是卡洛斯的老婆?

213
00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:48,315
‪艾迪的,等等
‪你怎麼知道我兄弟的名字?

214
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:51,318
‪妳前幾天說湖濱度假時提過他們

215
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,736
‪你還記得湖的事?

216
00:10:54,238 --> 00:10:55,322
‪你真的有聽進去

217
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:57,950
‪-很奇怪嗎?
‪-對,女人最討厭男人認真聽

218
00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:01,203
‪-我開玩笑的,很窩心
‪-小露!

219
00:11:02,413 --> 00:11:04,581
‪天啊,庫柏,你好嗎?

220
00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:08,335
‪我很好,我剛從
‪太平洋屋脊步道健行回來

221
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:11,839
‪還經過卑詩省
‪妳一定會喜歡,有美妙的日落

222
00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:12,798
‪我喜歡日落

223
00:11:13,716 --> 00:11:16,176
‪這是傑克森,傑克森,庫柏
‪庫柏,傑克森

224
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:19,221
‪對了,妳有沒有聽說
‪布蘭登要徒手攀登半圓丘?

225
00:11:19,221 --> 00:11:20,723
‪那傢伙太傳奇了

226
00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:23,726
‪他沒掌握資訊就一次完攀
‪而且在最險峻的路段找到固定點

227
00:11:23,726 --> 00:11:24,768
‪太屌了

228
00:11:26,395 --> 00:11:29,398
‪我也認識叫布蘭登的傢伙
‪所以知道他們有多瘋狂

229
00:11:30,649 --> 00:11:32,401
‪-這傢伙是誰?
‪-他是我朋友

230
00:11:32,401 --> 00:11:34,486
‪我們一起工作,禮貌一點

231
00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:38,282
‪我要回座位了

232
00:11:38,282 --> 00:11:40,868
‪但太平洋屋脊步道的終點
‪在加拿大邊境

233
00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:43,871
‪如果你想把健行當成個人特色
‪最好記清楚名字

234
00:11:47,249 --> 00:11:50,794
‪一起踏步,舉起手,放下來

235
00:11:50,794 --> 00:11:54,590
‪就是這樣,兩位,放輕鬆

236
00:11:54,590 --> 00:11:57,176
‪別害羞,屁股扭起來

237
00:11:59,678 --> 00:12:01,889
‪還差一點,找到節奏就行了

238
00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:03,682
‪還有推動骨盆

239
00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:05,476
‪對空做活塞運動

240
00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:10,189
‪這個派對太遜了

241
00:12:10,189 --> 00:12:13,108
‪我們要報警逮捕你們
‪至少看起來很有趣

242
00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:16,695
‪不好了,警察要把我抓進倫敦塔

243
00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:20,616
‪快去通知我父親,格雷伯爵
‪還有我哥哥大笨鐘!

244
00:12:20,616 --> 00:12:22,534
‪很厲害,信手拈來英國事物

245
00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:23,577
‪柏靈頓熊

246
00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:24,703
‪又中了

247
00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:25,996
‪我要報案

248
00:12:25,996 --> 00:12:30,292
‪慢著,今晚沒有人會被逮捕
‪我們還有更多計畫 ,對吧,安娜?

249
00:12:30,793 --> 00:12:31,668
‪沒錯

250
00:12:32,294 --> 00:12:34,630
‪-對吧,艾利斯?
‪-對,妳說呢,安娜?

251
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,883
‪你覺得該不該跟他們說

252
00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:40,469
‪傑克森在酒吧辦的生日趴?

253
00:12:40,469 --> 00:12:41,678
‪對,沒錯

254
00:12:42,179 --> 00:12:45,641
‪我們就招了,我們一直在拖延
‪要等你們真正的派對準備好

255
00:12:45,641 --> 00:12:46,725
‪我們真正的派對?

256
00:12:46,725 --> 00:12:50,437
‪對,在酒吧
‪有十幾個人要幫你們慶生

257
00:12:52,314 --> 00:12:53,148
‪聽起來不錯

258
00:12:54,066 --> 00:12:57,152
‪好,給我們一點時間換上夜用雪靴

259
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:02,491
‪他們是哪根蔥啊,敢嘲諷英國文化?
‪那他們的文化呢?

260
00:13:02,491 --> 00:13:06,411
‪“我吃大號餐,歷史從50年前才開始”

261
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:07,454
‪真是難以忍受

262
00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:10,249
‪我還跟魔術師大衛布萊恩
‪在棺材裡度過一天呢

263
00:13:10,249 --> 00:13:11,750
‪其實只有六分鐘

264
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:13,544
‪對,但我們面對面

265
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:18,507
‪抱歉打擾了
‪這些人也是人資部同事嗎?

266
00:13:19,258 --> 00:13:22,052
‪不是,也許你不信
‪但我不只是人資部的宅男

267
00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:23,804
‪這是我的蜜蜂社團

268
00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:25,138
‪對,我們是愛蜂人

269
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,266
‪-酷
‪-是很酷

270
00:13:27,266 --> 00:13:30,102
‪除非你覺得研究、欣賞和嘗試拯救

271
00:13:30,102 --> 00:13:33,730
‪我們地球的重要昆蟲不算酷

272
00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:37,693
‪我們可以聊兩句非蜜蜂的話題嗎?

273
00:13:37,693 --> 00:13:39,486
‪好,我可以休息一下

274
00:13:40,571 --> 00:13:42,072
‪蜜蜂永遠不會休息

275
00:13:46,535 --> 00:13:49,204
‪別擔心庫柏,露比不喜歡他

276
00:13:49,705 --> 00:13:51,039
‪看起來喜歡

277
00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:53,667
‪他們以前約炮過,但只是玩玩

278
00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:56,920
‪-露比覺得他床上功夫很強
‪-這樣說無濟於事

279
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,756
‪也許我該過去看看,我爸會這麼說

280
00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:02,676
‪“傑克森,運用你的核心肌群
‪回到那裡去

281
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:05,137
‪別浪費我的基因,我無所不知”

282
00:14:05,137 --> 00:14:08,098
‪也許你該聽那個卡通版老爸的話

283
00:14:08,098 --> 00:14:11,018
‪對,庫柏比我好不到哪裡去

284
00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:13,478
‪這就對了,他有什麼是你沒有的?

285
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,188
‪沒錯

286
00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:18,817
‪其實

287
00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:21,320
‪他有露比

288
00:14:24,281 --> 00:14:28,327
‪我喜歡你,所以我想跟你說實話
‪我阿姨過世了

289
00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:30,704
‪天啊,麥爾坎,你還好嗎?

290
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:33,874
‪很好,她十年前就死了
‪兩腳完好如初

291
00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:35,167
‪我對你瞎掰

292
00:14:35,167 --> 00:14:39,171
‪因為我聽到你說艾利斯壞話
‪而想取消約會

293
00:14:39,171 --> 00:14:42,883
‪你的反應真大,你一定很在乎他

294
00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:46,803
‪我小時候爸爸不常在家
‪但艾利斯總是陪在我身邊

295
00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:52,392
‪他還幫我找到第一份工作
‪所以我也許太崇拜他了

296
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:55,103
‪但他改變了我的人生

297
00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:57,648
‪他對我來說
‪就是你和你朋友口中的女王蜂

298
00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:02,653
‪大家好,壽星查茲和提傑駕到

299
00:15:02,653 --> 00:15:07,199
‪快過來一起慶祝
‪因為你們受邀來參加他們的生日趴

300
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:10,994
‪飲料算我的

301
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:14,581
‪麥爾坎,過來

302
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:19,169
‪你要走了嗎?

303
00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:22,089
‪沒有,我很喜歡跟你相處

304
00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:23,548
‪沒關係,去吧

305
00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:25,884
‪謝謝你體諒我的毛病

306
00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:29,513
‪我來了

307
00:15:29,513 --> 00:15:31,682
‪天啊,真好玩

308
00:15:31,682 --> 00:15:34,017
‪-什麼真好玩?
‪-全部啊,麥爾坎

309
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:35,352
‪大家退後

310
00:15:35,352 --> 00:15:38,021
‪別擠在貴賓身邊,人人都有機會

311
00:15:39,398 --> 00:15:42,818
‪這些人是誰?沒半個我們認識的
‪你有邀請朱利安嗎?

312
00:15:42,818 --> 00:15:46,196
‪我們想過了,但最後為了保有驚喜

313
00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:48,699
‪只邀請你們不認識的人

314
00:15:48,699 --> 00:15:50,867
‪今晚你們可以交新朋友,像是麥爾坎

315
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:52,703
‪他非常友善,對吧?

316
00:15:52,703 --> 00:15:54,454
‪沒錯,你最喜歡什麼顏色?

317
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:57,332
‪-紅紫色,謝謝你問我
‪-我的也是紅紫色

318
00:15:57,332 --> 00:15:58,500
‪不會吧

319
00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:00,419
‪真的,但再稍微淺一點

320
00:16:00,419 --> 00:16:02,504
‪淺的紅紫色不就是桃紅嗎?

321
00:16:02,504 --> 00:16:04,506
‪不是,你們有準備蛋糕嗎?

322
00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:06,758
‪對啊,這是生日趴,應該要有蛋糕

323
00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:09,177
‪有蛋糕,我去拿

324
00:16:09,177 --> 00:16:11,346
‪你們兩個帥氣的壽星屁孩

325
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,224
‪那你最喜歡什麼顏色?

326
00:16:14,224 --> 00:16:16,143
‪天啊,別逼我選

327
00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:17,978
‪-一定要
‪-你逼我們挑了

328
00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:19,730
‪是藍色

329
00:16:19,730 --> 00:16:21,440
‪-你居然喜歡藍色?
‪-不可能

330
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:23,191
‪我們要請你喝一杯

331
00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:25,652
‪我們會幫你點藍色的,這傢伙...

332
00:16:27,863 --> 00:16:31,074
‪-哇塞,你怎麼做到的?
‪-我只是問關於他們的事

333
00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:34,828
‪我喜歡烈酒,這是我朋友

334
00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:37,039
‪真的能減輕傷害

335
00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:38,749
‪或者加劇,我分不出來

336
00:16:38,749 --> 00:16:40,292
‪露比的事我很遺憾

337
00:16:40,292 --> 00:16:43,211
‪沒關係,我們沒有交往
‪她可以隨心所欲

338
00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:47,883
‪我覺得你比庫柏更厲害、有趣與古怪

339
00:16:47,883 --> 00:16:49,301
‪他永遠都比不上

340
00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:54,389
‪謝謝,我也覺得
‪妳很厲害、有趣與古怪

341
00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:55,307
‪謝謝

342
00:17:00,312 --> 00:17:01,521
‪我們來跳舞吧?

343
00:17:02,147 --> 00:17:04,441
‪我整晚都在邀人,但沒人想跳

344
00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:07,527
‪這裡不適合跳舞,去吃煎餅怎麼樣?

345
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,237
‪我真的很喜歡煎餅

346
00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:12,532
‪我認識一個傢伙,他叫丹尼
‪整晚都在做煎餅

347
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:16,119
‪你認識丹尼?太酷了
‪那傢伙有八份糖漿

348
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:18,205
‪丹尼的糖漿可多了

349
00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:19,831
‪要不要去跟他打個招呼?

350
00:17:19,831 --> 00:17:23,460
‪好,但果汁正在測試我的膀胱底線

351
00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:26,213
‪好吧,我去結帳,要比賽嗎?

352
00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:28,090
‪太蠢了,開始!

353
00:17:32,803 --> 00:17:33,637
‪傑克森

354
00:17:33,637 --> 00:17:35,097
‪爸? 你在這裡做什麼?

355
00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:36,890
‪我在找雙胞胎的蛋糕

356
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:39,267
‪你不是說真的吧

357
00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:42,771
‪-你跟露比怎麼樣?
‪-她跟另一個男人走了

358
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:44,397
‪好吧

359
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,983
‪我不介意,你可以數落我做錯了什麼

360
00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:49,528
‪我應該更有自信,應該設法阻止她

361
00:17:49,528 --> 00:17:51,655
‪更堅定立場,讓你的理髮師剪髮

362
00:17:51,655 --> 00:17:52,823
‪不,我覺得很棒

363
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,534
‪-為什麼?
‪-因為這才是人生

364
00:17:56,118 --> 00:18:00,080
‪勇於面對、努力嘗試
‪我一直希望你懂這些道理

365
00:18:00,664 --> 00:18:02,916
‪就算出了差錯,你也會越挫越勇
‪看看我

366
00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:05,627
‪我撞到一個雙胞胎
‪現在還在找生日蛋糕

367
00:18:05,627 --> 00:18:07,087
‪我們都在設法解決問題

368
00:18:09,631 --> 00:18:13,051
‪沒想到你會這麼通情達理
‪而且不帶半點批判

369
00:18:13,552 --> 00:18:14,845
‪抱歉,我沒有蛋糕

370
00:18:14,845 --> 00:18:16,054
‪我接受你的道歉

371
00:18:17,556 --> 00:18:20,517
‪嗨,艾利斯
‪老天,我們必須回去工作嗎?

372
00:18:20,517 --> 00:18:22,978
‪因為酒醉的科學會很有趣

373
00:18:22,978 --> 00:18:26,857
‪沒錯,但不用
‪我得去廚房找生日蛋糕

374
00:18:26,857 --> 00:18:29,067
‪雖然我實在不信
‪做出難吃玉米片的傢伙

375
00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:31,653
‪有什麼做糕點的技能

376
00:18:33,989 --> 00:18:35,657
‪你爸為什麼要找蛋糕?

377
00:18:35,657 --> 00:18:37,576
‪不知道,他做事需要理由嗎?

378
00:18:38,577 --> 00:18:39,452
‪你們好

379
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,454
‪露比,我以為妳離開了

380
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:43,957
‪跟庫柏嗎?怎麼可能
‪我只是叫車送走他

381
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:46,459
‪我不會離開,你以為我們聊到一半

382
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:47,961
‪我會因為阿貓阿狗丟下你?

383
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:50,463
‪他可不是阿貓阿狗,他是庫哥

384
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:53,800
‪他去加拿大流浪
‪自以為走過太平洋屋脊步道

385
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,344
‪傑克森,別這樣
‪我跟你玩得很開心

386
00:18:57,012 --> 00:18:58,763
‪我也跟妳玩得很愉快

387
00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:05,228
‪我跟露娜正要去吃煎餅
‪妳要一起來嗎?

388
00:19:05,937 --> 00:19:09,149
‪其實我想留在這裡
‪看麥爾坎在忙什麼

389
00:19:15,113 --> 00:19:16,656
‪-妳確定嗎?
‪-對

390
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:19,868
‪我一直想學習更耗時的握手方式

391
00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:22,287
‪你們去玩吧,好耶

392
00:19:23,747 --> 00:19:25,123
‪要去吃煎餅嗎?

393
00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:27,876
‪或者我們可以不吃煎餅

394
00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:29,628
‪好喔

395
00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:44,684
‪魷魚!真好玩

396
00:19:45,477 --> 00:19:48,688
‪還有你,跟安娜的同人小說
‪寫的完全不同

397
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,190
‪妳寫了關於我的同人小說?

398
00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:52,442
‪我是吸血鬼嗎?

399
00:19:52,442 --> 00:19:55,237
‪最好是你追得上其他吸血鬼

400
00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:58,907
‪但好吧,如果你不再提這件事
‪我就讓你變成吸血鬼

401
00:19:58,907 --> 00:19:59,866
‪好耶

402
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:02,827
‪生日快樂!我們準備了牛肉蛋糕

403
00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:06,414
‪因為你們兩個是猛男

404
00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:08,541
‪-聽到他們怎麼叫我們嗎?
‪-我喜歡

405
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:11,461
‪-我們一直在健身
‪-很高興能被看見

406
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:16,132
‪好耶!

407
00:20:17,592 --> 00:20:20,762
‪(妳什麼時候回來?)

408
00:20:20,762 --> 00:20:21,972
‪(現在要走了)

409
00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:23,408
‪看看那兩個怪胎
‪跟我們的怪胎一起跳舞

410
00:21:24,075 --> 00:21:27,454
‪-我們今晚促成了友誼
‪-我們成功了,對吧?

411
00:21:29,706 --> 00:21:32,459
‪-沒朋友一定很難受
‪-對

412
00:21:33,418 --> 00:21:34,336
‪妳有朋友嗎?

413
00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:36,046
‪不多

414
00:21:37,172 --> 00:21:38,715
‪-你呢?
‪-多半時候沒有

415
00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:41,051
‪凱蒂是我的朋友

416
00:21:42,886 --> 00:21:44,346
‪等等,我們是朋友嗎?

417
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:47,307
‪不知道,我們算嗎?

418
00:21:47,891 --> 00:21:51,061
‪仔細想想
‪妳跟我一起經歷過綁架和車禍

419
00:21:51,061 --> 00:21:54,230
‪我被勒索時
‪你也拿著廁紙陪在我身邊

420
00:21:54,731 --> 00:21:56,232
‪也許我們是朋友

421
00:21:57,150 --> 00:21:58,026
‪敬友誼

422
00:22:00,904 --> 00:22:02,864
‪那你最喜歡什麼顏色?

423
00:22:02,864 --> 00:22:04,741
‪-我們不必這麼做
‪-謝天謝地

424
00:22:10,747 --> 00:22:12,499
‪你們真的為我們兄弟辦成了生日趴

425
00:22:12,499 --> 00:22:13,458
‪對,很好玩

426
00:22:13,458 --> 00:22:15,460
‪那我們都沒事了吧?

427
00:22:15,460 --> 00:22:19,214
‪-對,我們不會提告
‪-你們是自己人

428
00:22:19,214 --> 00:22:21,966
‪真希望當初我們沒有被迫投票換掉你

429
00:22:21,966 --> 00:22:25,053
‪這可妙了,因為投票的時候
‪你們有選擇

430
00:22:25,804 --> 00:22:28,306
‪對,但我們真的需要你幫公司賺到錢

431
00:22:28,306 --> 00:22:31,226
‪因為我們喜歡你,但我們更愛錢

432
00:22:31,226 --> 00:22:35,605
‪-錢!
‪-錢!

433
00:22:36,106 --> 00:22:37,148
‪我們會沒事的

434
00:22:37,148 --> 00:22:40,402
‪明天我們會加足馬力
‪做出不可思議的成果

435
00:22:40,402 --> 00:22:44,489
‪因為我們有全世界最認真、最勤奮的

436
00:22:45,490 --> 00:22:46,324
‪專業人才

437
00:22:51,287 --> 00:22:53,164
‪明天,我們重新開始

438
00:22:54,124 --> 00:22:55,375
‪不會再分心了

439
00:24:14,162 --> 00:24:19,083
‪字幕翻譯:莊雅婷