1
00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:17,810
‪-嘿,哥兒們,早上好嗎?
‪-不太好,什麼“哥兒們”?

2
00:00:17,810 --> 00:00:22,231
‪說到這,我跟露比共度良宵
‪還收到以前的教授傳來簡訊

3
00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:25,902
‪我的早晨每況愈下,你只是假裝關心

4
00:00:26,486 --> 00:00:28,696
‪我要跟安娜開第一次的季度預算會議

5
00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:32,617
‪好慘,總之卡萊爾教授要進城
‪他約我碰面

6
00:00:32,617 --> 00:00:33,826
‪我一直是他的愛徒

7
00:00:34,869 --> 00:00:36,120
‪-你還有話要說
‪-沒錯

8
00:00:36,829 --> 00:00:37,705
‪我很害怕

9
00:00:38,331 --> 00:00:41,834
‪感覺就像跟獅子開會
‪而且知道如果說錯話

10
00:00:41,834 --> 00:00:44,587
‪她就會張開滿嘴利牙
‪把我撕扯得體無完膚

11
00:00:44,587 --> 00:00:48,508
‪我以前很怕卡萊爾教授
‪現在他特地來到洛杉磯

12
00:00:48,508 --> 00:00:50,051
‪最期待見到誰?我

13
00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:51,219
‪謝謝你的建議

14
00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:53,679
‪我會試著運用在
‪八竿子打不著的情況上

15
00:00:56,015 --> 00:00:57,767
‪這傢伙,又留了一通留言給我

16
00:00:57,767 --> 00:01:00,186
‪大概是還想我的稱讚我的畢業論文吧

17
00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:04,398
‪要我播放嗎?好夥計
‪你親自聽聽我有多棒,免得你懷疑

18
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,901
‪-你在唸大字報嗎?
‪-我心情很好

19
00:01:07,693 --> 00:01:11,531
‪傑克森,哥兒們
‪你好嗎?我的好夥計,希望你很好

20
00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:15,660
‪我是想問,我們這周末的
‪畢業典禮演講人沒空來

21
00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:18,079
‪不知道令尊能不能幫忙

22
00:01:18,079 --> 00:01:20,414
‪你能幫我們美言幾句嗎?

23
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:21,707
‪這對我意義重...

24
00:01:22,708 --> 00:01:24,502
‪可惡,他主動聯絡我就是為了這個

25
00:01:24,502 --> 00:01:25,670
‪我很遺憾

26
00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:30,383
‪這就像布雷克老師為了認識你爸
‪隨便讓你在音樂劇軋一角

27
00:01:32,677 --> 00:01:35,596
‪綠色實驗室,義手的研發大有進展

28
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:38,015
‪我喜歡你們把它設定為能做沙卡手勢

29
00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:40,768
‪繼續研發其他手該有的功能吧

30
00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:43,354
‪紅色實驗室,碳項目的期限迫在眉睫

31
00:01:43,354 --> 00:01:45,231
‪我會把我寫的新序列寄給妳們

32
00:01:45,231 --> 00:01:47,358
‪做好心理準備,成果很美

33
00:01:47,358 --> 00:01:50,153
‪藍色實驗室,高蛋白香蕉做得很好

34
00:01:50,153 --> 00:01:55,533
‪營養含量增為四倍
‪接著設法去除魷魚的餘味吧

35
00:01:55,533 --> 00:01:58,077
‪好了,各位,回到工作崗位吧

36
00:01:58,077 --> 00:01:59,287
‪加油,團隊!

37
00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:01,122
‪艾利斯的震盪人生

38
00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:05,710
‪今天是景觀美化日
‪你怎麼沒去人家的花園搬秋海棠?

39
00:02:05,710 --> 00:02:07,295
‪你的輕重緩急呢?

40
00:02:07,295 --> 00:02:09,046
‪雙胞胎點燃我的幹勁

41
00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:13,217
‪下次的董事會議上
‪我們必須展示碳捕集做出的混凝土

42
00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:15,136
‪-所以我今天必須進公司
‪-謝天謝地

43
00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:18,931
‪激勵大家奮發向上
‪現在我要去美化環境了

44
00:02:18,931 --> 00:02:21,309
‪我要勒死你,但我不會這麼做

45
00:02:21,309 --> 00:02:23,519
‪安娜,我的造景工作很重要

46
00:02:23,519 --> 00:02:26,856
‪因為我做那些工作的時候
‪也在鍛鍊這裡

47
00:02:26,856 --> 00:02:28,566
‪當我鍛鍊這裡時

48
00:02:29,233 --> 00:02:30,234
‪公司也會有幫助

49
00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:31,611
‪你的鞋帶鬆了

50
00:02:31,611 --> 00:02:34,780
‪-我綁鞋帶的時候...
‪-天啊,快去施肥吧

51
00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:39,327
‪我受邀去畢業典禮上致詞
‪我需要有人幫我寫演講稿

52
00:02:39,327 --> 00:02:41,662
‪-一個瞭解我的人
‪-好吧,祝你好運

53
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:44,332
‪我要妳操刀,內容一定要精彩、動人

54
00:02:44,332 --> 00:02:46,167
‪最好還能爆紅

55
00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:49,212
‪-但又至於弄巧成拙
‪-好吧,祝你好運

56
00:02:49,212 --> 00:02:50,504
‪我在自言自語

57
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:53,049
‪請麥爾坎幫忙
‪你們就像我肚子裡的蛔蟲

58
00:02:53,049 --> 00:02:56,469
‪用笑話開場
‪要夠逗趣,但別弄巧成拙

59
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:02,350
‪昨晚後來情況怎麼樣?

60
00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:06,562
‪超棒,我跳舞,偷了一把叉子
‪還有人把帽子給我

61
00:03:06,562 --> 00:03:09,398
‪然後我到回家
‪布萊恩說:“希望妳玩得開心

62
00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:12,235
‪因為妳錯過新聞節目精華片段
‪而且我不會告訴妳”

63
00:03:12,235 --> 00:03:14,862
‪幸好我決定不批評他了

64
00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:17,156
‪至少妳拿到免費的帽子和叉子

65
00:03:17,156 --> 00:03:21,077
‪說到叉子,妳昨晚跟傑克森
‪“圈圈叉叉”了嗎?

66
00:03:21,077 --> 00:03:23,663
‪有時候妳真的滿嘴垃圾話

67
00:03:23,663 --> 00:03:25,289
‪沒有,我們都很醉

68
00:03:25,289 --> 00:03:27,875
‪只是親親抱抱,最後一起睡著了

69
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,293
‪聽起來不錯

70
00:03:29,293 --> 00:03:30,878
‪剛開始是

71
00:03:31,796 --> 00:03:35,591
‪然後他在我家過夜
‪早上還用我最愛的咖啡和司康叫醒我

72
00:03:35,591 --> 00:03:39,262
‪所以問題出在
‪他是可以認真交往的好男生

73
00:03:39,262 --> 00:03:41,764
‪而不是妳習慣交往的約炮男嗎?

74
00:03:41,764 --> 00:03:44,809
‪他又約我出去了,一切光速進行

75
00:03:44,809 --> 00:03:46,978
‪萬一他以為我們要認真交往了呢?

76
00:03:46,978 --> 00:03:48,187
‪真是個混球

77
00:03:48,187 --> 00:03:52,692
‪我知道,他人很好
‪真希望我是正常人,我想當正常人

78
00:03:52,692 --> 00:03:56,445
‪被一個離婚七次的媽媽養大
‪想必很困難吧

79
00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:57,947
‪妳破壞自己的感情

80
00:03:57,947 --> 00:04:00,574
‪因為妳的內心滿是創傷垃圾

81
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,368
‪-好閨密
‪-這不是妳的錯

82
00:04:02,368 --> 00:04:04,495
‪如果妳想改變模式,就做吧

83
00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:09,959
‪好,我會試著善待對我好的男生

84
00:04:09,959 --> 00:04:12,336
‪-非常好
‪-看看妳對我做了什麼,媽

85
00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:15,965
‪還有戴洛、傑瑞、卡麥
‪另一個戴洛、史考特兄弟檔和朱蒂絲

86
00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:22,847
‪計畫有變
‪我們要替艾利斯寫畢業典禮講稿

87
00:04:22,847 --> 00:04:26,225
‪他說用玩笑當開場白
‪非常好,因為我充滿幽默感

88
00:04:27,727 --> 00:04:29,812
‪-妳開玩笑吧?
‪-沒有,我超搞笑

89
00:04:29,812 --> 00:04:32,273
‪好吧,但我不知道
‪要給畢業生什麼建議

90
00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:35,943
‪我連取消健身房會員資格都不敢
‪因為我怕死櫃台那個女的

91
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:39,280
‪我也不能上健身房
‪因為我怕死深蹲架那個女的

92
00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:40,781
‪你去女性健身房嗎?

93
00:04:41,365 --> 00:04:44,160
‪別擔心,沒問題的
‪我也是經驗豐富的作家

94
00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:47,163
‪-因為妳寫同人小說嗎?
‪-什麼同人小說?

95
00:04:47,163 --> 00:04:50,166
‪-妳沒寫、我也不知道的同人小說
‪-沒錯

96
00:04:52,001 --> 00:04:54,337
‪好了,有趣的開場白

97
00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:56,714
‪我想到一件滑稽的事

98
00:04:57,214 --> 00:05:00,343
‪我那個討厭鄰居不小心觸電了

99
00:05:01,427 --> 00:05:03,220
‪你怎麼不寫下來?

100
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:07,850
‪早安,露比,妳今天很漂亮

101
00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:08,768
‪謝謝

102
00:05:09,769 --> 00:05:12,021
‪真窩心,多謝你的稱讚

103
00:05:13,105 --> 00:05:16,609
‪不客氣,露娜
‪聽說妳昨晚帶著帽子回家

104
00:05:16,609 --> 00:05:20,404
‪對,我們一起睡
‪是一頂貝雷帽,粗魯但很性感

105
00:05:20,404 --> 00:05:22,865
‪早上它讀詩給我聽,沒有沖澡就走了

106
00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:24,408
‪典型的貝雷帽

107
00:05:25,034 --> 00:05:28,204
‪-艾利斯傳來的序列
‪-他說得對,的確很美

108
00:05:28,204 --> 00:05:31,123
‪雖然他有多到數不清的缺點

109
00:05:31,123 --> 00:05:32,792
‪我爸真的很有科學頭腦

110
00:05:32,792 --> 00:05:36,587
‪我們快動手吧,聽說董事會下個月前
‪要看到成果,否則就麻煩了

111
00:05:36,587 --> 00:05:37,713
‪那我們開始吧

112
00:05:37,713 --> 00:05:41,467
‪還有,我把妳最愛的杏仁奶藏在冰箱
‪省得又被賴瑞喝光

113
00:05:41,467 --> 00:05:44,345
‪真貼心,你不必這麼做的

114
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:47,473
‪-我們該去工作了
‪-我先去喝杯咖啡

115
00:05:47,473 --> 00:05:48,682
‪妳做得很好

116
00:05:49,558 --> 00:05:50,684
‪所以...

117
00:05:52,311 --> 00:05:53,521
‪昨晚很愉快

118
00:05:53,521 --> 00:05:54,730
‪是很愉快

119
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,066
‪但今天早上糟透了

120
00:05:57,066 --> 00:05:57,983
‪是嗎?

121
00:05:58,484 --> 00:06:00,403
‪-多說一點
‪-好

122
00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:05,074
‪我很崇拜的一位教授利用我聯繫我爸

123
00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:07,326
‪真遺憾,的確感覺很糟

124
00:06:08,119 --> 00:06:10,538
‪有時候很難分辨該相信誰

125
00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:12,415
‪我知道這麼說很可笑

126
00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:15,042
‪但有人可以聊聊真的很棒

127
00:06:21,841 --> 00:06:25,344
‪-情況怎麼樣?
‪-我現在是他天殺的女朋友了

128
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:33,394
‪這是你的蛋三明治,蘿莎多放了起司

129
00:06:34,270 --> 00:06:38,482
‪-她對你有意思
‪-但不可能有結果,我愛我老婆

130
00:06:38,482 --> 00:06:41,026
‪但我願意接受加量起司

131
00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:43,571
‪他們怎麼了?一副迫不及待的樣子

132
00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:45,573
‪難道雞糞肥終於要送來了嗎?

133
00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:48,367
‪甚至更好,今天是樹木修剪日

134
00:06:48,367 --> 00:06:50,619
‪表示愛德華多要登場了

135
00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:56,625
‪(我為你砍樹!)

136
00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:06,802
‪(愛德華多)

137
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:16,812
‪(電鋸)

138
00:07:19,899 --> 00:07:20,858
‪那是誰?

139
00:07:20,858 --> 00:07:25,112
‪他是愛德華多,大師級人物
‪這個世代絕無僅有的修樹工

140
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:29,909
‪我會好好照顧你

141
00:07:30,409 --> 00:07:34,413
‪聽說他曾大老遠去蒙特斯托
‪修剪歐普拉家的藍花楹樹

142
00:07:34,413 --> 00:07:38,876
‪我聽說他的修枝技術
‪曾讓美國梧桐起死回生

143
00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:47,134
‪我也想做到那樣

144
00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:51,138
‪我的朋友,你永遠做不到

145
00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:52,181
‪我們都不可能

146
00:07:52,181 --> 00:07:55,017
‪我們只是來收集愛德華多剪下的樹枝

147
00:07:55,017 --> 00:07:58,646
‪我不想只收集德華多的樹枝
‪我想做他做的事

148
00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:02,233
‪還用說嘛
‪但這些夢想只能藏在男人的心裡

149
00:08:02,233 --> 00:08:03,317
‪-可是...
‪-安靜

150
00:08:05,861 --> 00:08:07,488
‪開始奏樂了

151
00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:15,037
‪我剛才看了艾利斯的計算結果
‪發現耐人尋味的地方

152
00:08:15,037 --> 00:08:16,163
‪傑克森人呢?

153
00:08:16,664 --> 00:08:18,624
‪傑克森,你女朋友在找你

154
00:08:18,624 --> 00:08:20,584
‪-露娜!
‪-他不在這裡

155
00:08:20,584 --> 00:08:21,710
‪他回家吃午餐了

156
00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:25,130
‪那個叫金的女人幫他們訂了
‪舞台開放夜,他們需要練習

157
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:29,051
‪他就是希望我去看這種表演
‪我做不到

158
00:08:29,051 --> 00:08:33,055
‪試試看吧,撐一小時
‪但如果還是沒準備好,就算了

159
00:08:33,055 --> 00:08:35,724
‪我要怎麼提分手才不會傷到傑克森?

160
00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:40,521
‪沒辦法,話說回來
‪用氯化鍶取代氯化鈣應該更有效率

161
00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:45,109
‪妳說對了,我很難開口
‪因為我想專心處理我的事

162
00:08:45,109 --> 00:08:47,820
‪-妳應該去告訴艾利斯
‪-我不確定

163
00:08:47,820 --> 00:08:50,906
‪萬一他覺得權威受損呢?
‪我為什麼要更改他寄來的東西?

164
00:08:50,906 --> 00:08:53,826
‪-妳做了改進
‪-妳永遠猜不到老闆會怎麼反應

165
00:08:53,826 --> 00:08:57,871
‪我當實習生時,發現老闆的數字有誤
‪兩個月後他就拋棄老婆

166
00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,665
‪這兩件事也許無關

167
00:08:59,665 --> 00:09:03,669
‪不,有關,他寫數學公式
‪驗證應該繼續維繫婚姻

168
00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:08,591
‪好吧,但妳必須聲援自己
‪妳有更好的點子,不能只想保護別人

169
00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:11,719
‪妳也無法保護別人的兒子不傷心

170
00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:14,054
‪-這也沒錯
‪-所以我們都要堅強

171
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,848
‪-然後說我們該說的話
‪-沒錯

172
00:09:15,848 --> 00:09:17,850
‪-我很害怕
‪-我也是

173
00:09:19,935 --> 00:09:23,939
‪希望妳不介意在地下室排練
‪這裡的音效棒呆了

174
00:09:23,939 --> 00:09:26,442
‪我喜歡地下的聲音

175
00:09:26,442 --> 00:09:29,612
‪我曾經在巴黎地底的隧道玩了一整夜

176
00:09:29,612 --> 00:09:32,906
‪太美了,我差點忘了那是下水道

177
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,325
‪那是幹嘛的?

178
00:09:34,325 --> 00:09:36,827
‪我爸和他的怪咖治療師朋友萊斯利
‪一起打造的

179
00:09:36,827 --> 00:09:39,371
‪他們進去那裡說秘密和抽雪茄

180
00:09:39,371 --> 00:09:42,166
‪應該吧,我不確定
‪女孩或兒子不准進入

181
00:09:42,166 --> 00:09:44,835
‪董事會聘請的心理治療師
‪萊斯利克萊文傑嗎?

182
00:09:44,835 --> 00:09:49,214
‪聽我勸,千萬別綁架生無可戀的人
‪因為他很可能打死不走

183
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:51,842
‪除了周二和周四上水上有氧運動課

184
00:09:51,842 --> 00:09:53,135
‪你剛才說“綁架”

185
00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:57,097
‪是指你爸用難以抗拒的魅力
‪迷倒克萊文傑醫生嗎?

186
00:09:57,681 --> 00:10:01,101
‪不,而是把人丟進地下室
‪把門鎖起來之類的

187
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,228
‪真假,就算是艾利斯,也算破天荒了

188
00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:05,064
‪希望如此,繼續吧?

189
00:10:05,064 --> 00:10:06,065
‪開始...

190
00:10:22,665 --> 00:10:24,375
‪我們正在排練

191
00:10:24,375 --> 00:10:26,543
‪-而且非常動聽
‪-金妮,“金因”序列

192
00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:28,504
‪-嗨,艾利
‪-你來這裡做什麼?

193
00:10:28,504 --> 00:10:32,216
‪我要拿電鋸,你們有沒有人會書法?

194
00:10:32,216 --> 00:10:34,760
‪等等,這樣可能太急了

195
00:10:35,344 --> 00:10:37,930
‪嘿,如果妳想休息,我來做午餐

196
00:10:37,930 --> 00:10:40,182
‪我們可以聊聊
‪妳最近交往的那個愛爾蘭舞者

197
00:10:40,182 --> 00:10:43,977
‪我很樂意,那男人不能移動上半身

198
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,771
‪但他的下半身,可猛了

199
00:10:45,771 --> 00:10:49,942
‪爸,可以到樓上聊兩句嗎?

200
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:54,196
‪是私密的事,跟我的內褲有關

201
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,534
‪絕對不可能是他的內褲

202
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:03,372
‪-跟我的內褲無關
‪-我就知道!是為了起司的事嗎?

203
00:11:03,372 --> 00:11:06,458
‪我今天本來想做三明治,結果很灰心

204
00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:09,169
‪萊斯利喜歡起司但不能吃
‪所以全丟進馬桶了

205
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,504
‪丟進馬桶?為什麼?

206
00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:13,340
‪這樣他才不會被誘惑
‪他還編了順口溜

207
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:14,341
‪我記得是

208
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:18,387
‪“垃圾桶起司,快快撿
‪馬桶起司,好噁,快快避”

209
00:11:18,387 --> 00:11:20,848
‪抱歉,我開始發現他在這裡的壞處了

210
00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:22,725
‪他昨晚又約人過來

211
00:11:22,725 --> 00:11:26,395
‪他說這是“沙龍”
‪但他們喝得爛醉後在圖書館摔角

212
00:11:26,395 --> 00:11:29,982
‪我知道,他有個朋友的頭
‪卡在你的古董地球儀裡,戴回家了

213
00:11:29,982 --> 00:11:32,401
‪但不是為了這個,我想跟你談金的事

214
00:11:32,401 --> 00:11:35,112
‪你想退出舞台開放夜表演嗎?很明智

215
00:11:35,112 --> 00:11:36,029
‪什麼?並不是

216
00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:39,867
‪-你很有吸引力
‪-謝謝

217
00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:44,163
‪我說清楚一點,這是抱怨
‪你把別人從我的生活吸入你的生活

218
00:11:44,163 --> 00:11:46,373
‪就像今天早上卡萊爾教授的事

219
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:49,543
‪我以為他要找我
‪但其實是利用我跟你聯繫

220
00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:52,171
‪不是這樣,他碰上難題

221
00:11:52,171 --> 00:11:56,258
‪他失去畢業典禮致詞者
‪這是我跟魯迪朱利安尼之間的事

222
00:11:56,258 --> 00:11:57,926
‪你就那麼討厭你的母校嗎?

223
00:11:57,926 --> 00:12:01,722
‪金是我認識少數幾個
‪不會利用我去接近你的人

224
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,348
‪我不希望妳把她拉走

225
00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:04,808
‪金愛你,傑克森

226
00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:08,479
‪但我也可以當她的朋友
‪沒人喜歡霸占金的傢伙

227
00:12:08,479 --> 00:12:10,647
‪沒錯,但我們正在忙

228
00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:12,941
‪你一走進來就搶走焦點

229
00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:15,486
‪你就像太陽,別人會被吸進你的軌道

230
00:12:15,486 --> 00:12:17,237
‪你真的這麼想嗎?因為太陽超棒

231
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,364
‪它閃爍光芒,還能幫助作物成長

232
00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:22,117
‪你很幼稚,我剛把太陽說出口
‪就知道該選別的東西

233
00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:23,535
‪-但我聽進去了
‪-謝謝

234
00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:24,620
‪我會當耳邊風

235
00:12:24,620 --> 00:12:27,915
‪因為我就是這樣,多數人都覺得很酷

236
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:34,171
‪不如這樣好了,“恭喜各位畢業生

237
00:12:34,171 --> 00:12:38,759
‪直到現在你們都被
‪關心你們的人包圍,老師,家長

238
00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:40,677
‪有些人甚至還有朋友

239
00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:45,098
‪但這一切將在今天結束
‪因為現實世界冷酷無情

240
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,351
‪沒人在乎你或你的痛苦”

241
00:12:47,351 --> 00:12:50,312
‪好喔,非常擲地有聲

242
00:12:50,312 --> 00:12:52,648
‪要不我們就朝這個方向
‪因為寫得很好

243
00:12:52,648 --> 00:12:54,566
‪但語句潤飾得積極一點怎麼樣?

244
00:12:54,566 --> 00:12:56,735
‪-你覺得這樣行不通?
‪-我沒這麼說

245
00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:58,946
‪-你就是這個意思
‪-好,我是這個意思

246
00:12:58,946 --> 00:13:01,073
‪-真放肆
‪-對不起,妳說得對

247
00:13:01,073 --> 00:13:03,158
‪如果你覺得我不對,就堅持立場

248
00:13:03,158 --> 00:13:04,952
‪畢業生需要更多鼓勵

249
00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:06,286
‪-你錯了
‪-我同意

250
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:08,664
‪-你不認同,那就直說
‪-我不認同

251
00:13:08,664 --> 00:13:10,874
‪-對我還是對你?
‪-我不知道該說什麼

252
00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:11,875
‪對你

253
00:13:15,212 --> 00:13:17,464
‪計畫有變,氯化鍶的事我錯了

254
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,883
‪很好,這樣妳就不必
‪告訴艾利斯妳比他強了

255
00:13:20,384 --> 00:13:22,469
‪我來把蛋白質放回低溫冷藏箱

256
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,721
‪會讓我的皮膚水噹噹

257
00:13:25,222 --> 00:13:27,933
‪不,我是說我完全正確這點錯了

258
00:13:27,933 --> 00:13:31,770
‪我的想法完全顛覆艾利斯的論點
‪所以我要刪除我的內容

259
00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:35,858
‪不可以,記得嗎?我們說好
‪不保護別人的感受,必須講實話

260
00:13:35,858 --> 00:13:40,112
‪妳要告訴傑克森妳不想談感情
‪一天有這些實話就夠了

261
00:13:40,696 --> 00:13:42,823
‪其實我決定不這麼做了

262
00:13:42,823 --> 00:13:45,367
‪他今天早上心情不好
‪所以我要等一天左右

263
00:13:46,535 --> 00:13:48,912
‪妳要撐多久才告訴我

264
00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:50,664
‪妳決定臨陣退縮?

265
00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:52,916
‪-幾小時吧
‪-嘿

266
00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:56,920
‪妳們一定不相信我爸跟金幹了什麼

267
00:13:57,713 --> 00:14:00,257
‪我做不到,我要去低溫冷藏庫

268
00:14:03,135 --> 00:14:04,678
‪好像有點刻薄,對吧?

269
00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:09,016
‪抱歉,我正忙著維護你爸的自尊
‪你也需要幫忙嗎?

270
00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:10,601
‪不用

271
00:14:16,315 --> 00:14:17,774
‪嘿,妳還好嗎?

272
00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:20,360
‪我沒事,只是把小瓶子拿來放
‪我自己應付得來

273
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:23,071
‪-糟糕,也許不行
‪-我來吧

274
00:14:23,739 --> 00:14:25,782
‪-這裡
‪-謝謝

275
00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:29,328
‪話說我現在跟我爸碰上很多事

276
00:14:29,328 --> 00:14:32,164
‪所以並不適合談感情

277
00:14:32,164 --> 00:14:34,791
‪等等,你要跟我分手嗎?

278
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,710
‪應該不算分手吧,我們只約會過兩次

279
00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:39,671
‪對,但先弄清楚,你想認真跟我交往

280
00:14:40,255 --> 00:14:43,467
‪-妳說是就是吧
‪-你早上大老遠帶糕點回來給我

281
00:14:43,467 --> 00:14:46,178
‪妳是說我買的,被妳吃掉的司康嗎?

282
00:14:48,764 --> 00:14:51,099
‪抱歉,這跟性愛有關嗎?

283
00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:52,851
‪裡面冷爆了,我們穿著厚外套

284
00:14:52,851 --> 00:14:54,811
‪我不想知道細節,我轉身就是了

285
00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:58,398
‪-但你不必轉身
‪-我不能離開,我在躲安娜

286
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,650
‪你幹嘛躲她?

287
00:14:59,650 --> 00:15:01,485
‪妳忘了另一瓶蛋白質

288
00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:06,365
‪我不希望它融掉,我可不想花一整天
‪把人體肝臟丟進肝臟壓縮器

289
00:15:07,282 --> 00:15:09,618
‪-你在這裡做什麼?
‪-他在躲安娜,原因不明

290
00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:13,914
‪安娜對我精神折磨
‪我趁她去拿果汁時溜走了

291
00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:16,083
‪直接說你不喜歡她對你的態度

292
00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:17,292
‪是啊,對人要坦誠

293
00:15:17,292 --> 00:15:20,337
‪以免困在冰箱時
‪被別人的實話殺個措手不及

294
00:15:20,337 --> 00:15:24,174
‪我覺得不該挑戰老闆
‪就算你有更棒的點子

295
00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:26,593
‪懦弱是有好處的
‪所以才有那麼多懦夫

296
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:27,844
‪很爛的建議

297
00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:29,638
‪沒錯,但對我很受用

298
00:15:29,638 --> 00:15:31,974
‪-我要把這個放好
‪-喔,對

299
00:15:36,645 --> 00:15:39,606
‪看吧,這就是我跟我男友說
‪不曾在職場發生過的事

300
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,779
‪老天,你們全都在這裡

301
00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:47,990
‪-跟性愛有關嗎?
‪-我們只是把蛋白質收好

302
00:15:47,990 --> 00:15:50,283
‪很科學的說法 ,但沒關係

303
00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:52,995
‪-麥爾坎,我們還沒弄完
‪-妳怎麼找到我的?

304
00:15:52,995 --> 00:15:55,038
‪-我追踪到你的識別證
‪-追蹤得到嗎?

305
00:15:56,707 --> 00:15:57,541
‪不行

306
00:15:58,250 --> 00:16:01,586
‪快點,除非你想在這裡工作
‪低溫對我的皮膚很有好處

307
00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:03,714
‪是不是?痛苦很值得

308
00:16:03,714 --> 00:16:05,090
‪不要,我們可以走了

309
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:09,469
‪麥爾坎,勇敢面對她,你可以的

310
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:10,387
‪麥爾坎!

311
00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:15,225
‪我也要出去了

312
00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:21,690
‪好吧,這就是我男友
‪希望在職場上發生的事

313
00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:29,448
‪告訴布萊恩
‪努力想像自己的色情職場情境

314
00:16:29,448 --> 00:16:30,657
‪他在家工作

315
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:38,498
‪對了,我也覺得
‪我們之間應該冷靜一下

316
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:39,875
‪好,沒問題

317
00:16:39,875 --> 00:16:42,711
‪對,因為很明顯我們有來電

318
00:16:42,711 --> 00:16:43,712
‪-看得出來
‪-對

319
00:16:43,712 --> 00:16:46,256
‪但我們是同事
‪所以可能會出很多岔子

320
00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:47,215
‪很多

321
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:50,135
‪所以我們回到原點,單純做朋友

322
00:16:51,470 --> 00:16:52,304
‪單純做朋友

323
00:17:00,145 --> 00:17:01,730
‪(艾利斯)

324
00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:05,609
‪不會吧,我就怕會發生這種事

325
00:17:05,609 --> 00:17:06,568
‪真的發生了

326
00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:08,904
‪拜託,艾利斯,別爬那棵樹

327
00:17:10,906 --> 00:17:11,740
‪一定要

328
00:17:11,740 --> 00:17:13,116
‪觀察身邊崇高卓越的事物

329
00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:16,369
‪而不要只看自己的偉大之處
‪是一樁美事

330
00:17:17,412 --> 00:17:18,997
‪抱歉,我不能接受

331
00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:24,044
‪我可以的

332
00:17:30,801 --> 00:17:31,635
‪一定行

333
00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:35,597
‪現在你必須好好學

334
00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:39,309
‪幫個忙?天啊!

335
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:43,271
‪算了,我能搞定

336
00:17:52,364 --> 00:17:54,366
‪這次沒有弄掉電鋸

337
00:17:54,366 --> 00:17:57,828
‪很好啊,繼續緣木求魚吧

338
00:18:03,959 --> 00:18:05,460
‪天啊.我懂了

339
00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:08,964
‪所有男人都活在別人的陰影下

340
00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:16,138
‪“辭典把痛苦定義為
‪肉體上的痛苦,但不只如此”

341
00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:17,222
‪我要打斷妳

342
00:18:17,222 --> 00:18:18,849
‪-你確定嗎?
‪-應該吧

343
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,935
‪我是說確定,妳寫的東西太負面了

344
00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:22,853
‪你什麼都不懂

345
00:18:22,853 --> 00:18:24,771
‪還有,妳對我的態度很惡劣

346
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:27,691
‪-我沒有,也不在乎
‪-妳為什麼要這樣對我?

347
00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:31,820
‪-因為我擔心你,好嗎?
‪-什麼?

348
00:18:32,863 --> 00:18:36,408
‪我小的時候爸爸離開了
‪很不幸,我媽還在

349
00:18:36,408 --> 00:18:39,661
‪而且跟伏特加難分難捨

350
00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:40,912
‪所以12歲時

351
00:18:40,912 --> 00:18:44,457
‪我基本上要靠自己撫養我的弟妹

352
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:47,335
‪同時在本地業餘製作公司
‪拍的《真善美》裡

353
00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:49,045
‪飾演瑪莉亞

354
00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:52,465
‪我很快就發現這個世界很可怕

355
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:55,802
‪除非自己變堅強,才可能安全

356
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:58,346
‪原來每個反派都有獨特的故事

357
00:18:58,346 --> 00:18:59,514
‪我是說每個人

358
00:18:59,514 --> 00:19:02,601
‪我的重點是堅強讓我好好活著

359
00:19:02,601 --> 00:19:06,605
‪我擔心如果你不硬起來
‪會被世界生吞活剝

360
00:19:06,605 --> 00:19:08,315
‪最後吃乾抹淨

361
00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:11,610
‪抱歉,形容得很殘忍
‪但你說我是反派

362
00:19:11,610 --> 00:19:15,614
‪所以妳讓我經歷這些
‪是因為擔心我嗎?

363
00:19:15,614 --> 00:19:16,531
‪沒錯

364
00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:18,241
‪而且我覺得很有趣

365
00:19:18,742 --> 00:19:20,243
‪也許我真的是壞蛋

366
00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:24,164
‪嘿,你找我嗎?

367
00:19:24,164 --> 00:19:27,792
‪-兒子,我的確想見你,向來都是
‪-看得出來你有話說

368
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:30,003
‪傑克森,我今天完全體會了你的處境

369
00:19:30,712 --> 00:19:32,130
‪我活在神的陰影下

370
00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:35,717
‪讚喔,你差點過完
‪沒有自比是神的一天

371
00:19:35,717 --> 00:19:37,135
‪我不是神

372
00:19:37,135 --> 00:19:41,473
‪但我躺在地上,看著愛德華多時
‪突然有所領悟

373
00:19:41,473 --> 00:19:43,850
‪那是誰?算了,我不打斷你

374
00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:47,354
‪我體會到
‪你生活在我的陰影下有多辛苦

375
00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:49,356
‪你和金的關係很重要

376
00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:54,069
‪應該留給你們兩人
‪我會退開,帶走我的影子

377
00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:56,988
‪謝謝,我很感激

378
00:19:56,988 --> 00:20:00,242
‪我也意識到卡萊爾教授
‪怎麼利用你跟我接觸

379
00:20:00,242 --> 00:20:02,285
‪所以如果你不願意我就不去致詞

380
00:20:02,285 --> 00:20:03,578
‪謝謝你

381
00:20:03,578 --> 00:20:07,082
‪拜託,我把金還給你
‪還從樹上摔下來

382
00:20:07,082 --> 00:20:09,251
‪讓我演說吧,你又不會少塊肉

383
00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:11,378
‪天啊,去演講,你真是不可理喻

384
00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:14,714
‪謝謝,我會提到你,但不會刻意提

385
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,383
‪好吧,期待你的成果

386
00:20:17,842 --> 00:20:18,760
‪怎麼了?

387
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:24,849
‪籠罩在我的陰影下一定很冷

388
00:20:24,849 --> 00:20:28,603
‪你的臉上照不到陽光

389
00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:34,567
‪看到我大放異彩你就滿足了,那是...

390
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:35,485
‪嘿,露娜

391
00:20:35,485 --> 00:20:37,737
‪-老闆,你找我嗎?
‪-請坐

392
00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:43,493
‪我看過妳今天刪除的實驗報告

393
00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:45,120
‪你看得到我們刪除的內容?

394
00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:47,789
‪這不是完全破壞“刪除”的意義了嗎?

395
00:20:47,789 --> 00:20:52,002
‪-怎麼搞的,露娜?為什麼要刪除?
‪-我自作主張想到一個蠢點子

396
00:20:52,002 --> 00:20:52,919
‪一個蠢點子

397
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:56,423
‪還是比我更好的點子
‪而且妳擔心我的反應?

398
00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:59,050
‪你不只看得到我們刪除的內容
‪還有我們的想法?

399
00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:02,178
‪露娜,在這裡我們只想要大作為

400
00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:05,515
‪只有這樣才可能發現新事物

401
00:21:05,515 --> 00:21:07,267
‪我不希望我兒子活在我的陰影下

402
00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:09,352
‪也不希望妳被埋沒才能

403
00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:12,522
‪謝謝,很棒的訓話,老闆

404
00:21:12,522 --> 00:21:15,358
‪永遠不要因為恐懼或別人的反應卻步

405
00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:17,485
‪對的事就是對的

406
00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:21,031
‪如果是錯的
‪不管怎麼假裝也不會變成對的

407
00:21:21,906 --> 00:21:22,741
‪沒錯

408
00:21:23,241 --> 00:21:26,619
‪我為什麼要為了跳舞
‪或帶著帽子和叉子回家道歉?

409
00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:30,790
‪我不清楚來龍去脈
‪但我想妳懂我的意思

410
00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:31,875
‪所以我贊同

411
00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:37,464
‪嘿,妳跟傑克森怎麼樣了?

412
00:21:37,464 --> 00:21:39,341
‪我們決定當朋友比較好

413
00:21:39,341 --> 00:21:42,093
‪雙方有共識,我都忘了是誰先提的

414
00:21:42,093 --> 00:21:43,345
‪所以他先提的?

415
00:21:43,345 --> 00:21:47,140
‪-對,妳跟艾利斯談得怎麼樣?
‪-我必須跟布萊恩分手

416
00:21:47,932 --> 00:21:49,267
‪天啊,談得這麼順利嗎?

417
00:21:49,267 --> 00:21:53,021
‪沒有,他只是要我
‪壯起膽子和做對的事

418
00:21:53,021 --> 00:21:54,814
‪我知道布萊恩不適合我

419
00:21:55,982 --> 00:21:56,816
‪露娜

420
00:21:59,903 --> 00:22:02,280
‪我今晚會在家,打給我,好嗎?

421
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:03,198
‪好

422
00:22:06,409 --> 00:22:10,830
‪“世界是個殘酷的地方
‪但永遠都有希望

423
00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:13,166
‪只是別因為尋找希望讓自己變得懦弱

424
00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:16,252
‪也不要過於小心翼翼
‪把愛拒於千里之外

425
00:22:16,252 --> 00:22:19,089
‪但要留點心眼,因為愛可能背叛你”

426
00:22:19,798 --> 00:22:22,592
‪-有點語意不明,對吧?
‪-我的點子有用

427
00:22:23,551 --> 00:22:25,595
‪別管演講稿了,我已經想到要說什麼

428
00:22:26,304 --> 00:22:27,138
‪看吧?

429
00:22:28,056 --> 00:22:29,808
‪這就是最好的教訓

430
00:22:30,308 --> 00:22:32,102
‪你不能依賴任何事物

431
00:22:34,521 --> 00:22:38,400
‪有時候爬上樹,有時候從樹上掉下來

432
00:22:39,067 --> 00:22:42,153
‪我最近學到一件事,在人生的道路上

433
00:22:42,153 --> 00:22:45,115
‪往上爬和向下墜有異曲同工之妙

434
00:22:45,615 --> 00:22:48,118
‪只是速度和方向不同

435
00:22:48,910 --> 00:22:50,286
‪真希望我能像他一樣

436
00:24:06,988 --> 00:24:11,993
‪字幕翻譯:莊雅婷