1 00:00:07,216 --> 00:00:08,551 - Thanks for meeting, all right? 2 00:00:08,593 --> 00:00:10,386 I know everyone's busy, and we've been trying 3 00:00:10,428 --> 00:00:12,221 to make this happen for a while. 4 00:00:12,263 --> 00:00:14,015 The reason you're all here 5 00:00:14,057 --> 00:00:17,560 is because I am a big fan of your content. 6 00:00:17,602 --> 00:00:23,232 One of you has the chance to be our next new breakthrough star 7 00:00:23,274 --> 00:00:26,527 of our "Based on a True Story" spinoff. 8 00:00:26,569 --> 00:00:29,322 Now, I'm looking for someone that America can relate to. 9 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:31,199 We need a sad story-- 10 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:34,243 maybe cancer, maybe a dead sister. 11 00:00:34,285 --> 00:00:36,537 Just think, like, "American Idol." 12 00:00:36,579 --> 00:00:37,705 Go. 13 00:00:37,747 --> 00:00:39,165 - My parents died in a car accident. 14 00:00:39,207 --> 00:00:40,333 - Ooh, ooh, ooh. - I have diabetes. 15 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:42,043 - My mom abused me. 16 00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:43,461 [together] Me too. Me too. 17 00:00:43,503 --> 00:00:45,922 - Yeah, well, I mean, guys, no surprise there, right? 18 00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:48,966 [phone rings] If, uh--hey, I am so sorry. 19 00:00:49,008 --> 00:00:50,676 One second. 20 00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:51,719 [clears throat] 21 00:00:51,761 --> 00:00:52,929 Oh, hey, how are you? 22 00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:54,222 - You fuck! - You fucking psychopath! 23 00:00:54,263 --> 00:00:55,640 - We've been calling you for an hour. 24 00:00:55,681 --> 00:00:56,724 - What is wrong with you? - Why aren't you picking up? 25 00:00:56,766 --> 00:00:58,351 We called you ten times in an hour. 26 00:00:58,393 --> 00:01:00,853 - Guys, guys, guys, one at a time, please, people. 27 00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:03,523 - Okay. You said you weren't gonna kill anyone. 28 00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:04,982 - Uh, no. 29 00:01:05,024 --> 00:01:08,194 What I think I said was, I wasn't gonna kill Michelle. 30 00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:09,737 - Oh, my God! 31 00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:11,531 - I don't want to use the word "hero," 32 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:14,450 but she was gonna turn you in. 33 00:01:14,492 --> 00:01:16,035 - What? - How do you know that? 34 00:01:16,077 --> 00:01:17,286 You don't know that. 35 00:01:17,328 --> 00:01:18,329 - How do you think I know, Nathan? 36 00:01:18,371 --> 00:01:19,414 She told me. 37 00:01:19,455 --> 00:01:20,790 She called the cops. 38 00:01:20,832 --> 00:01:22,458 - Oh, that's bullshit. You--you know what? 39 00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:23,876 We can't believe a word that you fucking say, Matt. 40 00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:24,961 That's the thing. 41 00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:26,129 - Why did you frame me with the dart? 42 00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:27,213 - Yeah! 43 00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:28,506 - We're supposed to be partners. 44 00:01:28,548 --> 00:01:29,716 - Nathan, if I wanted to frame you, 45 00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:31,300 I'd have dumped her body on Sunset Boulevard, 46 00:01:31,342 --> 00:01:32,301 all right? 47 00:01:32,343 --> 00:01:33,511 I just want you to know 48 00:01:33,553 --> 00:01:35,722 that I could frame you if I ever wanted. 49 00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:37,140 - Okay, here's what you're gonna do. 50 00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:38,391 You're gonna get your ass over here, 51 00:01:38,433 --> 00:01:40,184 and you're gonna clean this up. 52 00:01:40,226 --> 00:01:42,311 - Uh--oh, you mean the body? 53 00:01:42,353 --> 00:01:43,813 [clicks tongue] Yeah, no. 54 00:01:43,855 --> 00:01:45,022 That's on you guys. 55 00:01:45,064 --> 00:01:46,399 - What--uh, I'm sorry. 56 00:01:46,441 --> 00:01:48,651 We're not gonna dispose of Ruby's fucking body. 57 00:01:48,693 --> 00:01:49,986 Are you out of your mind? - All right, 58 00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:52,488 but, uh, she's gonna start to stink up the place, 59 00:01:52,530 --> 00:01:55,158 and your new fancy Malibu neighbors 60 00:01:55,199 --> 00:01:58,077 are gonna be up your ass. 61 00:01:58,119 --> 00:01:59,620 All right, I'm back. 62 00:01:59,662 --> 00:02:00,580 So sorry. 63 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,498 Any more trauma? Keep it coming. 64 00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:03,583 - Fucker! - Okay. He can't hear us. 65 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:04,584 Just call him back. Call him back. 66 00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:07,170 - Okay, okay. - Oh, my God. 67 00:02:07,211 --> 00:02:08,588 Oh, my God. 68 00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:09,839 [phone rings] - Guys, keep 'em coming. 69 00:02:09,881 --> 00:02:10,840 Write 'em down. 70 00:02:10,882 --> 00:02:11,966 I'll be one sec. 71 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:13,926 Hello. 72 00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:15,511 - Um, we can't-- - No, we can't do this. 73 00:02:15,553 --> 00:02:17,096 Please, you have to come help us. 74 00:02:17,138 --> 00:02:18,473 We can't do this. - Please, Matt, please. Please. 75 00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:20,516 - Ah, Jesus Christ. 76 00:02:20,558 --> 00:02:22,268 It's like dealing with children. 77 00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:23,770 All right, fine. 78 00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:25,980 Meet me at your place in an hour. 79 00:02:26,022 --> 00:02:26,981 - Our place? No, we're not-- 80 00:02:27,023 --> 00:02:27,940 we're not meeting at our place. 81 00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:29,192 Absolutely not, no. 82 00:02:29,233 --> 00:02:30,526 - It's totally cool. 83 00:02:30,568 --> 00:02:33,404 I'll just--I'll hang with Tory. 84 00:02:33,446 --> 00:02:34,572 - What? - Uh, no. 85 00:02:34,614 --> 00:02:36,866 - No. - You will not hang with Tory. 86 00:02:36,908 --> 00:02:37,909 - Don't be late. 87 00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:40,286 Bring the body. 88 00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:43,164 - Oh, my God. 89 00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:45,458 - We're fucked. 90 00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:48,252 [suspenseful music] 91 00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:49,837 - Okay. 92 00:02:49,879 --> 00:02:56,803 * * 93 00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:08,356 [sighs] She's gonna be okay. 94 00:03:08,398 --> 00:03:09,440 He's not gonna do anything. 95 00:03:09,482 --> 00:03:16,614 * * 96 00:03:25,373 --> 00:03:27,083 Try her again. - I'm calling. 97 00:03:27,125 --> 00:03:28,501 [line trilling] 98 00:03:28,543 --> 00:03:30,712 - Hi, it's Tory. Leave a message. 99 00:03:30,753 --> 00:03:32,255 - Voice mail again. Oh, my God. 100 00:03:32,296 --> 00:03:33,840 He's gonna kill her. - He's not. 101 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,091 Don't say that. 102 00:03:35,133 --> 00:03:37,093 He's not gonna--he's not going to kill her, okay? 103 00:03:37,135 --> 00:03:38,136 - He's gonna kill her. 104 00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:39,470 [horn honks] - Move! 105 00:03:39,512 --> 00:03:46,644 * * 106 00:03:50,732 --> 00:03:51,858 - Got the keys? - Yeah. Let's go. 107 00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:53,401 - Okay. Okay. 108 00:03:53,443 --> 00:03:55,653 Okay, okay. All right. 109 00:03:55,695 --> 00:03:56,487 Come on. 110 00:03:56,529 --> 00:03:59,574 * * 111 00:03:59,615 --> 00:04:00,616 - Tory. - Tory? 112 00:04:00,658 --> 00:04:01,993 - Tory? Hey. - Tory. 113 00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:03,119 - Tory. 114 00:04:03,161 --> 00:04:05,413 all: Surprise! 115 00:04:05,455 --> 00:04:08,332 Happy anniversary! 116 00:04:08,374 --> 00:04:10,209 - Oh, my God. - Oh, my God. Hi. 117 00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:12,211 - Oh, my God, hi! - Hey. 118 00:04:12,253 --> 00:04:13,254 - Are you surprised? 119 00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:14,922 - Yes! - Ah, what a surprise. 120 00:04:14,964 --> 00:04:16,382 [indistinct chatter] 121 00:04:16,424 --> 00:04:17,759 - How you doing, buddy? - Hey. 122 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:20,762 - Oh, my God, yes, I almost gave birth. 123 00:04:20,803 --> 00:04:24,223 - We got you so good. - We got you good. 124 00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:25,308 - Okay, wait, get together. 125 00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:26,601 Smile. 126 00:04:26,642 --> 00:04:28,311 Cute. Say "ten years." 127 00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:29,312 - Yeah, you can frame that. - Cute. 128 00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:30,813 - Oh, my God. 129 00:04:30,855 --> 00:04:32,065 - I don't know what he said to get you guys here, 130 00:04:32,106 --> 00:04:34,567 but he guaranteed it would be on the dot. 131 00:04:34,609 --> 00:04:35,777 - I kept my promise, right? 132 00:04:35,818 --> 00:04:37,111 - What did he say to you guys? 133 00:04:37,153 --> 00:04:38,654 - Oh, you don't want to know. - Yeah. 134 00:04:38,696 --> 00:04:40,448 - It was crazy. - It was crazy. 135 00:04:40,490 --> 00:04:42,158 Yeah. Yeah. - We had to race here. 136 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:43,326 - You know what? 137 00:04:43,367 --> 00:04:44,535 You're gonna get me back. 138 00:04:44,577 --> 00:04:46,329 - We sure are, yeah. 139 00:04:46,370 --> 00:04:47,997 - I have to pee. 140 00:04:48,039 --> 00:04:49,207 - Guys... - Yes. 141 00:04:49,248 --> 00:04:50,166 - Thank you. - And then this is gonna be-- 142 00:04:50,208 --> 00:04:51,375 we're gonna party. 143 00:04:51,417 --> 00:04:52,502 - What a night we're gonna have here. 144 00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:53,920 Thank you, everybody, for coming. 145 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,171 I'm gonna be right back. 146 00:04:55,213 --> 00:04:57,507 - Oh, hi. Look at you. - Hey, great to see you. 147 00:04:57,548 --> 00:04:59,133 - What are we gonna do? 148 00:04:59,175 --> 00:05:00,385 - We act normal. 149 00:05:00,426 --> 00:05:01,511 - Oh, act normal. - Yeah. 150 00:05:01,552 --> 00:05:02,678 - Okay, cool. 151 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:04,347 Act normal with Ruby's fucking body 152 00:05:04,389 --> 00:05:06,933 in the trunk of our car? 153 00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:08,059 - Fucking nuts. 154 00:05:08,101 --> 00:05:09,185 - How did he know? 155 00:05:09,227 --> 00:05:10,603 How did he know that she knew? 156 00:05:10,645 --> 00:05:11,854 - I have no idea. 157 00:05:11,896 --> 00:05:13,606 - Like, I-- - Hey, guys. 158 00:05:13,648 --> 00:05:15,358 - Get out there right now and take care of the body. 159 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,026 - Hey, it's a party. 160 00:05:17,068 --> 00:05:20,363 - Get your ass out there right now and fucking fix this. 161 00:05:20,405 --> 00:05:21,697 - Guys, I really think 162 00:05:21,739 --> 00:05:22,907 you need to fix this yourselves. 163 00:05:22,949 --> 00:05:23,783 - Yeah? 164 00:05:23,825 --> 00:05:27,036 - And when you do--bonus-- 165 00:05:27,078 --> 00:05:29,997 I figured out how we can protect the spinoff 166 00:05:30,039 --> 00:05:32,166 from the woke police. both: What? 167 00:05:32,208 --> 00:05:34,544 - We're gonna make the spinoff inclusive. 168 00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:36,003 - Okay, I can't talk about this right now. 169 00:05:36,045 --> 00:05:38,881 - Hey, would you just hear me out? 170 00:05:38,923 --> 00:05:39,882 Thank you. 171 00:05:39,924 --> 00:05:41,384 Right, so what we're gonna do is, 172 00:05:41,426 --> 00:05:42,552 we're gonna give a voice 173 00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:44,637 to the marginalized serial killers-- 174 00:05:44,679 --> 00:05:46,431 the BIPOC killers, the disabled killers. 175 00:05:46,472 --> 00:05:49,434 We are gonna take their voice, and we're gonna raise it up. 176 00:05:49,475 --> 00:05:50,768 - Marginalized serial killers? - Mm-hmm. 177 00:05:50,810 --> 00:05:52,103 - Are you fucking insane? 178 00:05:52,145 --> 00:05:53,646 Where would you even find those people? 179 00:05:53,688 --> 00:05:54,772 - We have a chat room. 180 00:05:54,814 --> 00:05:56,107 It's kind of like an affinity group. 181 00:05:56,149 --> 00:05:57,400 - Huh, 'cause it kind of sounds like 182 00:05:57,442 --> 00:05:58,776 a forum for terrible people. 183 00:05:58,818 --> 00:06:00,403 - It's a safe space where 184 00:06:00,445 --> 00:06:02,572 people can trade stories, talk craft. 185 00:06:02,613 --> 00:06:04,657 - Dead body right in the fucking driveway. 186 00:06:04,699 --> 00:06:07,118 - You have lost your mind. 187 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:08,161 - Really? 188 00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:09,579 Because I've already had some Zooms, 189 00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:11,539 and the response is amazing. 190 00:06:11,581 --> 00:06:13,416 - Oh, my God, you've-- you've had some Zooms? 191 00:06:13,458 --> 00:06:14,751 That's so great. 192 00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:16,085 Did you guys also make some TikTok videos, 193 00:06:16,127 --> 00:06:17,420 you and your little killer friends? 194 00:06:17,462 --> 00:06:18,421 Do a little couple dances together? 195 00:06:18,463 --> 00:06:19,547 Let me tell you something. 196 00:06:19,589 --> 00:06:20,673 There's not gonna be a spinoff. 197 00:06:20,715 --> 00:06:21,924 There's not gonna be a universe. 198 00:06:21,966 --> 00:06:23,217 Nothing. - All right, fine, fine. 199 00:06:23,259 --> 00:06:25,344 All right, fine. Fine. 200 00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:26,387 You don't have to do it. - Great. 201 00:06:26,429 --> 00:06:27,346 - All right. - Fantastic. 202 00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:28,347 - Yeah, I don't need you. 203 00:06:28,389 --> 00:06:29,557 I'll do it on my own. 204 00:06:29,599 --> 00:06:30,558 - What? - What? 205 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:32,060 - The hell you will. 206 00:06:32,101 --> 00:06:33,102 This was my idea. 207 00:06:33,144 --> 00:06:35,104 I created this podcast. 208 00:06:35,146 --> 00:06:37,023 * * 209 00:06:37,065 --> 00:06:39,317 - I am the podcast. 210 00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:41,152 - Hey, guys? - Hey, Tory. 211 00:06:41,194 --> 00:06:42,153 - Hey, Tor. 212 00:06:42,195 --> 00:06:43,279 - Hi. 213 00:06:43,321 --> 00:06:45,156 Um, someone crashed the party. 214 00:06:45,198 --> 00:06:46,324 - What? 215 00:06:46,365 --> 00:06:48,618 [indistinct chatter] 216 00:06:48,659 --> 00:06:51,370 [clears throat] 217 00:06:51,412 --> 00:06:55,291 - Hey, here's the happy couple. 218 00:06:55,333 --> 00:06:57,210 [laughs] 219 00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:59,587 Can I talk to you outside? 220 00:06:59,629 --> 00:07:00,630 - Yeah. 221 00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:02,548 [tense music] 222 00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:04,133 Sure. 223 00:07:04,175 --> 00:07:09,680 * * 224 00:07:15,228 --> 00:07:16,562 - I don't know what you're doing here. 225 00:07:16,604 --> 00:07:17,480 - Yeah. - You weren't invited. 226 00:07:17,522 --> 00:07:18,564 - I know. 227 00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:20,483 I know, and look, I totally get it. 228 00:07:20,525 --> 00:07:22,443 I just thought that we've been friends so long-- 229 00:07:22,485 --> 00:07:23,403 - Give me a fucking break. 230 00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:24,570 You shot my dog, Simon. 231 00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:25,696 - No, I know. 232 00:07:25,738 --> 00:07:27,657 And I am really, really sorry. 233 00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:29,117 - Are you sorry you put a gun to my head? 234 00:07:29,158 --> 00:07:30,576 Sorry about that? 235 00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:32,412 - I can't even believe that I did that. 236 00:07:32,453 --> 00:07:34,455 It's like-- - The fuck is wrong with you? 237 00:07:34,497 --> 00:07:35,790 - I think I just fucking lost it. 238 00:07:35,832 --> 00:07:38,876 And this whole open marriage bullshit, 239 00:07:38,918 --> 00:07:41,838 it's just--it's just been eating away at me, Nathan. 240 00:07:41,879 --> 00:07:44,841 And I--I just--like, I-- 241 00:07:44,882 --> 00:07:46,759 I think I was just doing it to be cool. 242 00:07:46,801 --> 00:07:48,136 And I'm not. 243 00:07:48,177 --> 00:07:49,178 It's just not me. 244 00:07:49,220 --> 00:07:50,263 - I don't care. 245 00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:52,140 - Thank God Ruby and I worked it out. 246 00:07:52,181 --> 00:07:53,683 [tense music] 247 00:07:53,725 --> 00:07:55,101 - You worked it out? 248 00:07:55,143 --> 00:07:57,145 - Yeah. Oh, yeah, we're doing great. 249 00:07:57,186 --> 00:07:59,814 Just had to hit reset, and she's gonna come here. 250 00:07:59,856 --> 00:08:01,149 She'll tell you. 251 00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:02,984 But we're not gonna fuck around on each other. 252 00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:05,528 We got a new dog, Duke Jr. 253 00:08:05,570 --> 00:08:06,988 - Are you kidding me? Duke Jr.? 254 00:08:07,029 --> 00:08:09,073 You can't just pretend this didn't happen. 255 00:08:09,115 --> 00:08:10,283 - Oh-- - You shouldn't be here. 256 00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:11,701 You weren't invited. - Okay, I get it. 257 00:08:11,743 --> 00:08:13,161 - You should leave, okay? - No-- 258 00:08:13,202 --> 00:08:14,662 - 'Cause I'm starting to get really fucking pissed off, 259 00:08:14,704 --> 00:08:15,621 Simon. - Okay, no, no, no, no, no. 260 00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:17,165 Let me make this up to you. 261 00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:19,709 Uh, I'll get a house in Belize, 262 00:08:19,751 --> 00:08:22,128 and we'll get the whole gang together, you know? We'll-- 263 00:08:22,170 --> 00:08:25,006 - Yeah, that's the thing about you, Simon. 264 00:08:25,048 --> 00:08:28,676 You think you're better than me, but you're not. 265 00:08:29,802 --> 00:08:32,889 [cell phone ringing] 266 00:08:36,392 --> 00:08:37,310 - You hear that? 267 00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:39,812 - No. 268 00:08:39,854 --> 00:08:40,772 - Is that a phone? 269 00:08:40,813 --> 00:08:41,814 - What? 270 00:08:41,856 --> 00:08:43,483 I don't hear anything. 271 00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:46,402 [ringing continues] 272 00:08:48,029 --> 00:08:49,530 - That--there's a phone. 273 00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:51,074 It's, uh-- - I don't think so. 274 00:08:52,450 --> 00:08:54,077 Maybe it's coming from across the street? 275 00:08:54,118 --> 00:08:55,495 - No, it's definitely not. 276 00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:56,913 It's definitely, uh... 277 00:08:56,954 --> 00:08:59,248 [ringing continues] 278 00:08:59,290 --> 00:09:01,375 it's definitely coming from in here. 279 00:09:02,752 --> 00:09:04,003 Yeah. Let's open it. 280 00:09:04,045 --> 00:09:05,588 You got the keys? - They're inside. 281 00:09:05,630 --> 00:09:06,964 Hey, don't worry about it. 282 00:09:07,006 --> 00:09:08,549 - Whoa, what if somebody's trapped inside? 283 00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:10,385 Get the keys. - Hey, hey, look. 284 00:09:11,386 --> 00:09:12,845 You know what? 285 00:09:12,887 --> 00:09:14,847 Let's put that stuff in the past, okay? 286 00:09:14,889 --> 00:09:16,391 You and I are cool. 287 00:09:16,432 --> 00:09:18,184 Come back inside. - Really? 288 00:09:18,226 --> 00:09:20,978 - Yeah, we are-- we're totally cool. 289 00:09:21,020 --> 00:09:22,146 Let's put it behind us. 290 00:09:22,188 --> 00:09:23,189 - Oh. 291 00:09:23,231 --> 00:09:25,400 - I've done some crazy shit too. 292 00:09:25,441 --> 00:09:26,859 - Yeah. 293 00:09:26,901 --> 00:09:28,653 - [groans] 294 00:09:28,694 --> 00:09:30,363 [sighs] 295 00:09:30,405 --> 00:09:31,864 - What about the prenatal classes? 296 00:09:31,906 --> 00:09:33,241 How are they? - You know what? 297 00:09:33,282 --> 00:09:34,492 I never went. 298 00:09:34,534 --> 00:09:35,493 - Girl... - Yeah, no. 299 00:09:35,535 --> 00:09:36,869 - But it's, like, showtime. 300 00:09:36,911 --> 00:09:39,038 - Well, um, kind of. Not really. 301 00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,165 - Well, look, has anyone told you about the guy? 302 00:09:41,207 --> 00:09:42,750 - The who? - The shit guy. 303 00:09:42,792 --> 00:09:44,585 - The shit guy. - The what? 304 00:09:44,627 --> 00:09:45,878 - No, I mean, you're gonna shit on the table, 305 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:47,213 and that's okay. - Okay, quiet. 306 00:09:47,255 --> 00:09:49,048 - He's gonna wipe it-- - Okay, guys, you know,-- 307 00:09:49,090 --> 00:09:51,968 - And the diapers, the big, giant vagina diapers. 308 00:09:52,009 --> 00:09:53,344 - Oh, huge. - All right, 309 00:09:53,386 --> 00:09:54,387 you know what, guys? Maybe we can stop talking-- 310 00:09:54,429 --> 00:09:55,555 - With the ice inside. 311 00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:57,265 - It's like a snowman is going down you. 312 00:09:57,306 --> 00:09:59,684 - Your pussy is gonna be on ice for weeks, months. 313 00:09:59,726 --> 00:10:01,227 - Well, this is a great party. 314 00:10:01,269 --> 00:10:02,895 - You got a guy in the kitchen putting edibles up his ass. 315 00:10:02,937 --> 00:10:04,480 - Right up his ass. - Oh, my God. 316 00:10:04,522 --> 00:10:06,566 - I would do that. 317 00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:08,192 Uh, give me one second, okay? 318 00:10:08,234 --> 00:10:09,902 Bye. 319 00:10:09,944 --> 00:10:11,320 We're not ready for this, baby. 320 00:10:11,362 --> 00:10:12,739 - Ruby's phone is ringing in the trunk. 321 00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:13,823 - What? 322 00:10:13,865 --> 00:10:15,575 - Yes, come on. 323 00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:17,076 - Seriously? 324 00:10:17,118 --> 00:10:20,037 You left her phone in her pocket in the car? 325 00:10:20,079 --> 00:10:21,372 Are you nuts? - I'm sorry. 326 00:10:21,414 --> 00:10:22,915 It's my first time dealing with a dead body. 327 00:10:22,957 --> 00:10:25,084 - Oh, my God. 328 00:10:25,126 --> 00:10:26,419 Oh, God, I can't look at her. 329 00:10:26,461 --> 00:10:27,962 * * 330 00:10:28,004 --> 00:10:30,506 - Okay, how do you turn this fucking thing off? 331 00:10:30,548 --> 00:10:31,799 - Don't turn it off. 332 00:10:31,841 --> 00:10:33,843 - The cops can fucking track us. 333 00:10:33,885 --> 00:10:35,094 - I'm sure this thing has been pinging 334 00:10:35,136 --> 00:10:36,763 every cell tower since we left Malibu. 335 00:10:36,804 --> 00:10:38,014 We'll deal with that later. 336 00:10:38,056 --> 00:10:39,474 We have to see if Matt's telling us the truth. 337 00:10:39,515 --> 00:10:40,683 - Okay. 338 00:10:40,725 --> 00:10:41,726 Well, do you have the code? 339 00:10:41,768 --> 00:10:43,102 - Uh, no. 340 00:10:43,144 --> 00:10:44,312 - All right, well, what do you want to do? 341 00:10:44,353 --> 00:10:46,439 - Oh, my God. 342 00:10:46,481 --> 00:10:47,523 Uh... 343 00:10:47,565 --> 00:10:49,067 okay, okay. 344 00:10:49,108 --> 00:10:52,153 Just, uh--oh, my God, move her face towards me. 345 00:10:52,195 --> 00:10:53,905 - Okay. 346 00:10:54,697 --> 00:10:57,325 - Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. 347 00:10:57,366 --> 00:10:58,743 Oh, it worked. - It worked. 348 00:10:58,785 --> 00:11:01,079 - Okay. All right, I'm gonna check if anyone's called. 349 00:11:03,122 --> 00:11:04,499 Uh, unknown caller. 350 00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:06,292 There's a voice mail seven minutes ago. 351 00:11:06,334 --> 00:11:08,711 - Play it. - Okay. Okay. 352 00:11:08,753 --> 00:11:11,297 - Now, this is a message for Ruby Gale. 353 00:11:11,339 --> 00:11:13,257 Detective Quincy Burrell of the LAPD 354 00:11:13,299 --> 00:11:15,468 Westside Ripper Task Force returning your call. 355 00:11:15,510 --> 00:11:17,303 - Oh, my God. - It sounds like you have 356 00:11:17,345 --> 00:11:18,388 very relevant information. - Shit. 357 00:11:18,429 --> 00:11:19,430 - She did call! 358 00:11:19,472 --> 00:11:20,264 She was gonna turn us in! 359 00:11:20,306 --> 00:11:21,641 - Here's my personal cell. 360 00:11:21,682 --> 00:11:22,892 310-700... 361 00:11:22,934 --> 00:11:24,102 - What did she tell them? 362 00:11:24,143 --> 00:11:25,937 - Fuck. - 5647. 363 00:11:25,978 --> 00:11:27,814 - Fucking mother-- relevant information? 364 00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:30,274 What kind of fucking relevant information do they have? 365 00:11:30,316 --> 00:11:32,819 - She was gonna make baby an orphan. 366 00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:34,862 - What are you guys doing? 367 00:11:35,571 --> 00:11:36,864 - Hey. 368 00:11:36,906 --> 00:11:38,491 Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off. 369 00:11:38,533 --> 00:11:41,369 Yeah, we're coming! 370 00:11:44,831 --> 00:11:45,832 [glass dinging] 371 00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:47,250 - Okay, speech time. 372 00:11:47,291 --> 00:11:50,169 Everybody come in from the kitchen, please. 373 00:11:50,211 --> 00:11:52,755 - God, I love a speech. 374 00:11:52,797 --> 00:11:54,090 - [clears throat] 375 00:11:54,132 --> 00:11:56,050 - You know, you're a fucking asshole. 376 00:11:56,092 --> 00:11:58,386 You left the fucking phone on her on purpose. 377 00:11:58,428 --> 00:11:59,470 - Yeah. 378 00:11:59,512 --> 00:12:00,638 I wanted to throw you in the deep end, 379 00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:01,931 see if you could swim. 380 00:12:01,973 --> 00:12:03,141 - Guys, shut the fuck up. 381 00:12:03,182 --> 00:12:04,600 - Simon was out there. 382 00:12:04,642 --> 00:12:05,685 What if he saw something? 383 00:12:05,727 --> 00:12:07,228 What if he knows her fucking ringtone? 384 00:12:07,270 --> 00:12:09,147 - Well, then we take care of Simon. 385 00:12:10,356 --> 00:12:11,941 - When does this end? 386 00:12:11,983 --> 00:12:14,610 - Well, that's the beauty of it. 387 00:12:14,652 --> 00:12:16,446 Never ends. 388 00:12:17,739 --> 00:12:21,117 - All right, okay. 389 00:12:21,159 --> 00:12:24,746 So I don't really know if anybody knows this, 390 00:12:24,787 --> 00:12:30,126 but Ava and Nathan kind of saved my life. 391 00:12:30,168 --> 00:12:35,048 Um, our mom died when I was 10, 392 00:12:35,089 --> 00:12:39,343 and Ava was living out here with Nathan. 393 00:12:39,385 --> 00:12:45,099 And I got stuck with my dad and step-monster in Chicago, 394 00:12:45,141 --> 00:12:49,729 and I kind of wanted to blow my brains out. 395 00:12:49,771 --> 00:12:52,690 So I called Ava, 396 00:12:52,732 --> 00:12:57,070 and she drove cross-country, 397 00:12:57,111 --> 00:13:01,324 picked me up, and brought me here. 398 00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:05,953 She and Nathan gave me a life and a home 399 00:13:05,995 --> 00:13:09,665 and a family. 400 00:13:09,707 --> 00:13:14,295 You guys always looked out for me, 401 00:13:14,337 --> 00:13:20,176 and that baby is so lucky to have you guys as parents. 402 00:13:20,218 --> 00:13:22,178 Seriously. 403 00:13:22,220 --> 00:13:23,429 Am I right? 404 00:13:23,471 --> 00:13:26,015 all: Yes. 405 00:13:26,057 --> 00:13:27,475 - I love you. 406 00:13:27,517 --> 00:13:28,851 - Love you. 407 00:13:28,893 --> 00:13:31,270 Thank you. [laughs] 408 00:13:31,312 --> 00:13:34,857 - Happy 10-year anniversary 409 00:13:34,899 --> 00:13:37,485 to Ava and Nathan. 410 00:13:37,527 --> 00:13:39,737 [together] To Ava and Nathan. 411 00:13:39,779 --> 00:13:41,072 - Ow, ow! 412 00:13:41,114 --> 00:13:43,032 - All right, let's party. [bottle pops] 413 00:13:43,074 --> 00:13:44,534 - Bye. Thank you. - Yeah, take care. 414 00:13:44,575 --> 00:13:46,411 Thank you. Hey, buddy. Thanks--thanks for coming. 415 00:13:46,452 --> 00:13:47,912 - Bye. Thank you so much. - Oh, buddy. 416 00:13:47,954 --> 00:13:49,914 - Bye. Too many ass gummies. 417 00:13:49,956 --> 00:13:51,124 - They are really kicking in now. 418 00:13:51,165 --> 00:13:52,208 - Wow. - Nathan. 419 00:13:52,250 --> 00:13:53,543 - You okay to drive? - Yep. 420 00:13:53,584 --> 00:13:55,837 - We'll see. 421 00:13:55,878 --> 00:13:57,088 - All right. 422 00:13:57,130 --> 00:13:58,881 - Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. 423 00:13:58,923 --> 00:14:00,925 - Guys? 424 00:14:00,967 --> 00:14:03,219 I got you an anniversary present. 425 00:14:03,261 --> 00:14:06,305 [foreboding music] 426 00:14:06,347 --> 00:14:13,479 * * 427 00:14:23,197 --> 00:14:24,615 Have fun. 428 00:14:24,657 --> 00:14:29,912 * * 429 00:14:29,954 --> 00:14:32,039 [elevator dings] 430 00:14:32,081 --> 00:14:35,668 - Okay. 431 00:14:35,710 --> 00:14:37,295 - Okay. Come on, let's go. 432 00:14:37,336 --> 00:14:44,469 * * 433 00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:08,493 * * 434 00:15:12,371 --> 00:15:14,373 - Thank God for the pickleballers. 435 00:15:14,415 --> 00:15:19,754 * * 436 00:15:24,258 --> 00:15:27,387 - [grunting] 437 00:15:32,683 --> 00:15:34,394 - Are you sure this is okay? 438 00:15:34,435 --> 00:15:38,523 - Yeah, they're gonna cement it tomorrow. 439 00:15:38,564 --> 00:15:41,359 Cameras haven't worked here in years, so it's perfect. 440 00:15:46,114 --> 00:15:47,323 [sighs] 441 00:15:47,365 --> 00:15:49,909 [grunts] 442 00:15:49,951 --> 00:15:52,537 - How come we never talk about the baby? 443 00:15:52,578 --> 00:15:55,039 - We talk about the baby. 444 00:15:55,081 --> 00:15:57,583 - Uh, no, we don't. 445 00:15:57,625 --> 00:16:00,712 We haven't even bought anything for this little human. 446 00:16:00,753 --> 00:16:03,089 I mean, we don't have a stroller 447 00:16:03,131 --> 00:16:05,425 or car seats, diapers--nothing. 448 00:16:05,466 --> 00:16:08,094 Don't you think that's a little bit weird? 449 00:16:08,136 --> 00:16:11,055 - I guess. 450 00:16:11,097 --> 00:16:13,141 Uh... 451 00:16:13,182 --> 00:16:14,475 I mean, I'm super excited. 452 00:16:14,517 --> 00:16:18,438 [gentle music] 453 00:16:18,479 --> 00:16:21,232 But I'm fucking terrified. 454 00:16:21,274 --> 00:16:23,025 [sighs] 455 00:16:23,067 --> 00:16:24,861 - Yeah, me too. 456 00:16:24,902 --> 00:16:27,572 - [laughs] 457 00:16:27,613 --> 00:16:31,743 I just want to be a good dad. 458 00:16:31,784 --> 00:16:34,579 I don't wanna let you down. 459 00:16:34,620 --> 00:16:37,081 - You could never let me down. 460 00:16:37,123 --> 00:16:39,751 - Ava, come on, you've been-- 461 00:16:39,792 --> 00:16:41,627 you've been so excited these last few months. 462 00:16:41,669 --> 00:16:45,590 You're so--you're so alive. 463 00:16:45,631 --> 00:16:48,134 It's because we're finally getting somewhere, right? 464 00:16:48,176 --> 00:16:49,385 - Yeah, but for me, 465 00:16:49,427 --> 00:16:51,095 it was never about getting somewhere. 466 00:16:51,137 --> 00:16:54,474 It was about being together, 467 00:16:54,515 --> 00:16:57,185 connecting again like we used to, you know? 468 00:16:57,226 --> 00:17:00,063 That's literally all I ever wanted. 469 00:17:00,104 --> 00:17:02,398 * * 470 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:03,900 - That's all I wanted. 471 00:17:03,941 --> 00:17:08,404 * * 472 00:17:08,446 --> 00:17:09,489 Let's do this. 473 00:17:09,530 --> 00:17:12,492 [tense music] 474 00:17:12,533 --> 00:17:15,244 * * 475 00:17:15,286 --> 00:17:16,954 - Wow. - [grunts] 476 00:17:16,996 --> 00:17:19,540 * * 477 00:17:19,582 --> 00:17:21,459 - Oh, God, good job. 478 00:17:21,501 --> 00:17:24,837 * * 479 00:17:24,879 --> 00:17:25,880 [groans] 480 00:17:32,053 --> 00:17:33,679 [sighs] 481 00:17:37,058 --> 00:17:39,519 You know, we--we met 482 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:42,188 at a party for Taylor Lautner. 483 00:17:42,230 --> 00:17:43,856 We were so young. 484 00:17:43,898 --> 00:17:46,025 She was just, like, the coolest girl in the room. 485 00:17:46,067 --> 00:17:47,527 Everyone wanted to be around her, 486 00:17:47,568 --> 00:17:49,612 but we just--I don't know. 487 00:17:49,654 --> 00:17:52,240 We just, like, bonded and sat in a corner 488 00:17:52,281 --> 00:17:53,825 and drank all night. 489 00:17:53,866 --> 00:17:57,078 And she was the most adorable, the most fun. 490 00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:59,122 - And the one that was gonna turn us in. 491 00:17:59,163 --> 00:18:05,336 * * 492 00:18:05,378 --> 00:18:06,921 - Hey, where's the dart? 493 00:18:09,132 --> 00:18:11,718 - [gasping] Ahh! 494 00:18:11,759 --> 00:18:13,219 - Ahh! - [screaming] 495 00:18:13,261 --> 00:18:14,387 - Fuck! 496 00:18:14,429 --> 00:18:16,264 - Oh, God! 497 00:18:16,305 --> 00:18:17,348 No, don't! 498 00:18:17,390 --> 00:18:18,975 [thudding] 499 00:18:19,016 --> 00:18:20,017 - Ahh! 500 00:18:20,059 --> 00:18:23,062 - [screaming] 501 00:18:23,104 --> 00:18:25,148 - Nathan? 502 00:18:25,189 --> 00:18:26,858 [groaning] 503 00:18:26,899 --> 00:18:28,901 Ruby, no, no. Ruby, no, please! 504 00:18:28,943 --> 00:18:30,570 Ruby, Ruby, please. I'm so sorry. 505 00:18:30,611 --> 00:18:32,238 Please, please. - Oh, please don't. 506 00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:34,240 - Ruby, I'm so sorry. Ruby, no, no, no, no, no. 507 00:18:34,282 --> 00:18:35,408 Ruby, no, no, no, please. 508 00:18:35,450 --> 00:18:37,243 Please, please, my baby. 509 00:18:37,285 --> 00:18:38,995 - Fuck the baby. 510 00:18:39,036 --> 00:18:40,621 Ah! 511 00:18:41,164 --> 00:18:43,583 Yes! Yes! 512 00:18:43,624 --> 00:18:48,171 The hot bitch wins for fucking once! 513 00:18:48,212 --> 00:18:49,464 And you know what? 514 00:18:49,505 --> 00:18:51,632 I'm gonna create my own podcast, 515 00:18:51,674 --> 00:18:53,384 and it's gonna be called 516 00:18:53,426 --> 00:18:55,762 "How My Shitty-Ass Friends Protected 517 00:18:55,803 --> 00:18:59,390 "a Fucking Serial Killer and Ended Up in a Ditch 518 00:18:59,432 --> 00:19:01,476 Instead of Me," okay? 519 00:19:01,517 --> 00:19:04,812 Fuck you! 520 00:19:08,816 --> 00:19:10,818 - She looks so peaceful. 521 00:19:13,321 --> 00:19:14,489 - [sighs] 522 00:19:14,530 --> 00:19:16,115 - Oh, God, oh, God. 523 00:19:16,157 --> 00:19:17,283 [thudding] 524 00:19:17,325 --> 00:19:19,035 - Okay. 525 00:19:19,077 --> 00:19:21,996 [gentle music] 526 00:19:22,038 --> 00:19:28,628 * * 527 00:19:28,669 --> 00:19:31,047 Anything else you want to say? 528 00:19:31,089 --> 00:19:33,800 - Yeah, hurry up. 529 00:19:33,841 --> 00:19:36,135 We got a lot of cleanup to do. 530 00:19:36,177 --> 00:19:39,138 [dark music] 531 00:19:39,180 --> 00:19:46,104 * * 532 00:20:09,669 --> 00:20:12,463 [ominous music] 533 00:20:12,505 --> 00:20:19,637 * * 534 00:20:26,018 --> 00:20:27,520 - [gasps] 535 00:20:27,562 --> 00:20:34,694 * * 536 00:20:49,792 --> 00:20:51,335 [objects clattering] 537 00:20:51,377 --> 00:20:52,378 - How long have we got? 538 00:20:52,420 --> 00:20:53,713 - I don't know. 539 00:20:53,755 --> 00:20:55,506 They're having a sexy hotel night. 540 00:20:55,548 --> 00:20:57,383 - That's perfect. 541 00:20:57,425 --> 00:21:00,887 * * 542 00:21:00,928 --> 00:21:03,598 - Hey, we've gotta tell them sometime. 543 00:21:03,639 --> 00:21:05,433 - We will. 544 00:21:05,475 --> 00:21:10,313 * * 545 00:21:10,354 --> 00:21:13,024 Oh, God, this dress. 546 00:21:15,526 --> 00:21:18,196 - What about the name Jack for a boy? 547 00:21:18,237 --> 00:21:21,032 - I like that. - I know. I do too. 548 00:21:21,074 --> 00:21:23,743 It's, like, very old-school, rock and roll, classic. 549 00:21:23,785 --> 00:21:25,078 What up, Jack? - Yeah. 550 00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:26,412 Hey, what's up, Jack? - What's up, Jack? 551 00:21:26,454 --> 00:21:27,622 - Jack Nicholson. 552 00:21:27,663 --> 00:21:28,748 - That's a cool kid. 553 00:21:28,790 --> 00:21:30,458 - Jack Kerouac, Jack London. 554 00:21:30,500 --> 00:21:31,667 - Like it. - Yeah. 555 00:21:31,709 --> 00:21:33,586 - Mm-hmm. 556 00:21:33,628 --> 00:21:35,380 - And what if it's a girl? 557 00:21:35,421 --> 00:21:37,632 - I like the name Ellie. 558 00:21:37,673 --> 00:21:38,716 - Oh, Ellie. 559 00:21:38,758 --> 00:21:39,717 - Do you like that one? 560 00:21:39,759 --> 00:21:42,762 - Ellie or Jack. 561 00:21:42,804 --> 00:21:43,846 I love it. 562 00:21:43,888 --> 00:21:47,016 - Yeah, me too. It's sweet. 563 00:21:47,058 --> 00:21:48,684 - [gasps] 564 00:21:48,726 --> 00:21:51,104 * * 565 00:21:51,145 --> 00:21:53,606 - Oh... 566 00:21:53,648 --> 00:21:55,358 whose blood is that? 567 00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:56,776 [Betty Hutton's "Murder, He Says"] 568 00:21:56,818 --> 00:21:58,444 - [laughs] 569 00:21:58,486 --> 00:22:01,155 - * He says murder, he says, every time we kiss * 570 00:22:01,197 --> 00:22:04,534 * He says murder, he says, at a time like this * 571 00:22:04,575 --> 00:22:06,536 * He says murder, he says * 572 00:22:06,577 --> 00:22:10,873 * Is that the language of love? * 573 00:22:10,915 --> 00:22:14,335 * He says, solid, he says, takes me in his arms * 574 00:22:14,377 --> 00:22:17,714 * And says, solid, he says, meaning all my charms * 575 00:22:17,755 --> 00:22:20,299 * He says, solid, he says * 576 00:22:20,341 --> 00:22:24,387 * Is that the language of love? * 577 00:22:24,429 --> 00:22:26,806 * He says hep hep with helium * 578 00:22:26,848 --> 00:22:28,516 * Now babe we're cookin' * 579 00:22:28,558 --> 00:22:31,477 * He sounds like his uppers don't fit * 580 00:22:31,519 --> 00:22:35,314 * He says murder * 581 00:22:35,356 --> 00:22:37,984 * And the ways he says murder * 582 00:22:38,025 --> 00:22:41,779 * In that impossible tone * 583 00:22:41,821 --> 00:22:46,200 * I've told him over and over and over again * 584 00:22:46,242 --> 00:22:49,787 * That it'll be nobody else's murder, boy * 585 00:22:49,829 --> 00:22:55,084 * But his own * 586 00:22:55,126 --> 00:22:57,211 both: Nice shot, Dad.