1
00:00:07,883 --> 00:00:09,301
[nobles laughing]
2
00:00:10,469 --> 00:00:13,555
{\an8}- [noble 1] Little tittle, darling?
- [noble 2] I thought you'd never ask.
3
00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:16,433
[both laughing]
4
00:00:18,227 --> 00:00:20,270
- Mmm.
- Oh, Saltley, stop it.
5
00:00:26,902 --> 00:00:29,988
Massive diamond, darling? [chuckles]
6
00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:31,281
Oh.
7
00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:41,375
[horses whinnying]
8
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:46,588
- Hut! Giddyap! Hyah! Hut, hut!
- [gasps] Oh.
9
00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:47,965
What the devil is happening?
10
00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:51,593
Highwayman, sir. You're being robbed.
11
00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:58,183
- What are we to do?
- Your dueling pistol.
12
00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:00,185
Ah, yes. Of course.
13
00:01:02,646 --> 00:01:04,522
Here you go, driver. Good luck.
14
00:01:05,107 --> 00:01:06,942
I think you'll find mine's bigger.
15
00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:09,611
- [hammer cocks]
- Good Lord.
16
00:01:10,863 --> 00:01:13,699
- We'll have to make a run for it.
- I'm not sure I could in this dress.
17
00:01:13,699 --> 00:01:15,284
What have you done with my wife?
18
00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:16,618
- [wife] I'm over here.
- [grunts]
19
00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:19,121
[grunts]
20
00:01:21,832 --> 00:01:22,958
Who the devil are you?
21
00:01:22,958 --> 00:01:25,502
Darling, it's Dick Turpin.
22
00:01:26,461 --> 00:01:30,507
Oh! Well, why didn't you say? Marvelous.
23
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:33,510
Simply everybody wants
to be robbed by Dick Turpin,
24
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:36,805
the most famous and dashing highwayman
of all time.
25
00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,432
Here, have all my money.
26
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,726
Have my trousers. In fact, have my wife.
27
00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:42,019
I'm off. Bye.
28
00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:44,730
- [screams]
- Strange man.
29
00:01:45,314 --> 00:01:48,483
Madam, it's been an absolute pleasure
robbing you blind.
30
00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:50,277
What about a proper kiss?
31
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:53,322
I'd love to. It's just that I've realized
there's no one driving the coach.
32
00:01:53,322 --> 00:01:55,157
One small kiss couldn't hurt.
33
00:01:55,157 --> 00:01:57,659
Mmm. [moans, kisses]
34
00:01:58,327 --> 00:01:59,369
[person] Oi, Turpin.
35
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,706
Wake up.
Think you're dreaming again, mate.
36
00:02:02,706 --> 00:02:04,041
[wife] It's Dick Turpin.
37
00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:05,667
[Saltley] Everybody wants to be
robbed by Dick Turpin.
38
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,336
[grunts, groans]
39
00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:08,878
You were talking in your sleep again.
40
00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:11,131
At one point, you tried to kiss me,
you weirdo.
41
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,133
[chuckling] Really? How was that for you?
42
00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:15,302
Just grab your stuff. We're going.
43
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:16,595
Great, is that lunch?
44
00:02:16,595 --> 00:02:18,430
No, you're about to be hanged.
45
00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:20,224
I see. And then lunch?
46
00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:23,519
[sighs] What an idiot.
47
00:02:24,436 --> 00:02:26,438
[theme music playing]
48
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:57,678
Professional mourner for your hanging, sir?
49
00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,847
- What you got for me?
- Ah, special offer.
50
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:03,058
Two sad hags and a boy in low spirits.
Half a crown?
51
00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:05,561
Mmm, he doesn't look that sad.
52
00:03:05,561 --> 00:03:06,812
Okay.
53
00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:10,190
Well, how about
something from our genuine widow range?
54
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:13,068
- [Dick] Now you're talking.
- Yeah. All recently bereaved.
55
00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:14,695
Real tears are standard.
56
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,489
Look at Margaret, sir. Look at Margaret.
57
00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:19,366
Classic resting sad face.
58
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:21,201
- Sorry for your loss.
- Thank you.
59
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:24,788
Love Margaret. Yes to Margaret.
Got yourself a deal.
60
00:03:24,788 --> 00:03:26,164
See you up there.
61
00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:31,086
[wails] Too soon!
62
00:03:31,587 --> 00:03:33,172
[wailing]
63
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,263
Actually, Margaret,
save it till we get there.
64
00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:43,140
You're bringing the mood down
a little bit.
65
00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:44,349
Oh.
66
00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:52,816
There will now be
a short break for refreshments.
67
00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:54,610
What's going on?
68
00:03:54,610 --> 00:03:56,945
We're allowed a drink before they hang us.
69
00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:59,114
- Come on. I'm buying.
- [growls]
70
00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:05,454
Anyone not back on the coach
in the next half an hour,
71
00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:09,333
I will leave without you. Okay?
72
00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:15,380
Hello. My name's Poorly Martin,
and I shot a chicken.
73
00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:17,632
[all] Hello, Poorly Martin.
74
00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:19,343
Hello. My name's Lizzy Fish,
75
00:04:19,343 --> 00:04:21,261
and I threatened to set fire
to a hay bale.
76
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,055
[all] Hello, Lizzy Fish.
77
00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:25,432
Wow, you really can get hanged
for anything these days. [chuckles]
78
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,768
Hello. My name's Bill the Blade,
79
00:04:28,477 --> 00:04:31,063
and I killed 26 members of my own family.
80
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,277
Hello, Bill the Blade.
81
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:39,071
What about you?
82
00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:41,907
His name is Dick Turpin,
and he's a highwayman.
83
00:04:41,907 --> 00:04:44,618
- Who are you?
- My name is Eliza Bean and I'm a writer.
84
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:47,704
Move over. I write true-crime stories.
85
00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:48,789
- Really?
- Yes.
86
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:51,708
I mean, I used to write
these beautiful plays, poems,
87
00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:53,085
but no one cared.
88
00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:55,587
You write about the most horrific murder
and people can't get enough of it.
89
00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:57,339
Why do you think that is, Eliza?
90
00:04:57,339 --> 00:04:59,800
I don't know. I think people
are just fascinated by criminals.
91
00:05:00,676 --> 00:05:02,469
I think my readers would like
to hear your story.
92
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,054
[Poorly] Well, there's not much to tell.
93
00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:05,806
I wasn't aiming for the chicken.
94
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:08,183
No, no, no. Not you, Poorly Martin.
95
00:05:08,183 --> 00:05:10,686
You. Dick Turpin.
96
00:05:10,686 --> 00:05:13,355
Dick Turpin. I've heard of you.
97
00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:16,275
You shot Tom King.
Shot his face right off.
98
00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:18,777
Nice work.
99
00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:22,239
Do you really think
people would like to hear my story?
100
00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:24,241
- Not really.
- [Poorly] Yes, please.
101
00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:25,868
My mum used to tell me stories.
102
00:05:25,868 --> 00:05:27,327
Come on, Dick. Spill the beans.
103
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:30,163
I think people are gonna
find you fascinating.
104
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,958
[chuckles] I don't know.
I feel a bit embarrassed. I--
105
00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:36,461
I was born to a butcher
in the village of Hempstead.
106
00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:38,547
Oh, God. I'm going for a piss.
107
00:05:42,134 --> 00:05:44,887
[Dick] I had a happy childhood,
and I loved my dad.
108
00:05:44,887 --> 00:05:48,891
But growing up, I realized that
the life of a butcher just wasn't for me.
109
00:05:51,143 --> 00:05:52,978
Have you killed that rabbit yet?
110
00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:56,607
No, but I have made this entire village
out of courgettes. [chuckles]
111
00:05:56,607 --> 00:05:58,609
Look at me and you, made out of peppers.
112
00:05:58,609 --> 00:06:01,361
There's you, looking angry.
Not quite as angry as you are now.
113
00:06:02,321 --> 00:06:04,156
How long did that take you?
114
00:06:04,156 --> 00:06:05,240
Nine hours.
115
00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:09,661
Well, when you finish that,
can you kill those swans?
116
00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:11,538
Not Carol and Sue, they're in love.
117
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:14,124
I mean,
I don't even know how you kill a swan.
118
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:17,377
Do you kick it? Do you chop it?
Do you hit it with a shoe?
119
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:21,256
Sometimes I look at you and think,
"Do you even wanna be a butcher?"
120
00:06:21,256 --> 00:06:23,300
Of course I don't wanna be a butcher.
I'm a vegan.
121
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:25,677
I've been saying this since I was five.
I love animals.
122
00:06:25,677 --> 00:06:28,805
[sighs] It's not my life, Dad.
It's your life. You know?
123
00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:30,724
Yeah, you always were a bit weird.
124
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:34,102
Drawing, coming up with funny ideas,
wearing strange outfits.
125
00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:36,813
You're the weirdest of all my children.
126
00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:38,232
I'm an only child, Dad.
127
00:06:38,232 --> 00:06:41,068
[sighs] I just feel like
I'm destined to do something, you know?
128
00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:42,861
Something big, something creative.
129
00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:44,988
[clicks tongue] Well.
130
00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:49,284
If that's how you feel, I suppose
I could get your cousin Benny in.
131
00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:51,161
He loves killing animals.
132
00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:53,413
He's already done a few shifts
when you weren't around.
133
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:54,957
- He's actually really good.
- I know.
134
00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:56,041
He loves meat.
135
00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:57,751
He loves talking about meat,
touching meat.
136
00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,086
He's got his own knives.
137
00:06:59,962 --> 00:07:01,880
Just get Benny, Dad.
It'll be better for you.
138
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,466
You know, I'll go and follow my dreams.
[sighs]
139
00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:06,009
- [father] You're sure?
- Yeah.
140
00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:08,637
Well, I was gonna leave all this to you.
141
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:13,433
Benny will have it now.
And, uh, your room.
142
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:14,560
What about my stuff?
143
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:17,980
Have to probably burn it.
Throw it into the street.
144
00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:19,982
[sighs] All right, Dad.
145
00:07:19,982 --> 00:07:23,652
Look, I'll just take these purple shoes
and my sewing machine.
146
00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:28,073
Right. Well, if that's your decision,
I'll let Benny know.
147
00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:29,408
All right.
148
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,703
- All right, Benny?
- All right?
149
00:07:32,703 --> 00:07:34,079
Great, so you already told him?
150
00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:37,040
- Things were coming to a head.
- In what way?
151
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,626
You spent nine hours
making a courgette village.
152
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:41,962
Look after yourself, Son.
153
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:44,173
Say goodbye to Carol and Sue for me, Dad.
154
00:07:44,173 --> 00:07:45,924
- See ya, Benny.
- [Benny] See ya.
155
00:07:48,719 --> 00:07:52,055
- Do you think he's gonna be all right?
- He'll be dead by the end of the week.
156
00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:55,350
[thunder rumbling]
157
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,273
So, you really made an entire village
out of courgettes?
158
00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:04,109
Yeah. Well, actually,
I used pumpkins for the foundations.
159
00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:05,611
I mean, you need a firm base.
160
00:08:05,611 --> 00:08:07,029
And your dad kicked you out?
161
00:08:07,029 --> 00:08:09,907
Yeah, I can't believe it.
I've got no job, I've got nowhere to live.
162
00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:12,075
All I own in the world
is this sewing machine
163
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:14,870
- and these powerful, purple shoes.
- Cool.
164
00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:16,413
You haven't got anywhere
I could store them?
165
00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:18,081
Yeah. Put them in the cupboard.
166
00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:20,542
Brilliant. Thanks, Little Karen.
You're a diamond.
167
00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:26,548
[echoing] Whoa, that is a big cupboard.
168
00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:28,967
No, not that door. The next one along.
169
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,594
That's a secret passage.
170
00:08:30,594 --> 00:08:32,763
[Dick]
I didn't know you had a secret passage.
171
00:08:32,763 --> 00:08:35,349
- Well, it's a secret, isn't it?
- [chuckles] Yeah.
172
00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:37,351
If everyone knew about it,
it would just be a passage.
173
00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:39,477
That's not nearly as cool, is it?
174
00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:42,022
Wow, secret passage though. Check you out.
175
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,440
Wish I had a secret passage.
176
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,485
- That sounds weird.
- Yeah, that did sound a bit weird. Sorry.
177
00:08:46,485 --> 00:08:48,153
[door opens]
178
00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:50,155
[thunder rumbling]
179
00:09:05,629 --> 00:09:07,923
Five glasses of kill grief.
180
00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:11,009
We don't serve people we don't know.
181
00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:16,473
[sighs] Fine.
182
00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:18,642
I'm Tom King.
183
00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:20,310
Honesty Barebone.
184
00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:21,645
Nicholas Fraser.
185
00:09:21,645 --> 00:09:25,023
Moose Pleck. And... [grunts]
186
00:09:26,817 --> 00:09:27,818
Steve.
187
00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:29,403
Steve.
188
00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:31,113
Well, actually, I prefer Steven.
189
00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:32,865
[sighs]
190
00:09:32,865 --> 00:09:34,324
Not a biggie. Steve's fine.
191
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:38,287
There's an opening coming up in my gang.
192
00:09:38,871 --> 00:09:39,705
Is there?
193
00:09:39,705 --> 00:09:40,956
- [grunts]
- [patron screams]
194
00:09:46,545 --> 00:09:47,880
You.
195
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:53,802
Tomorrow, Lord Rookwood will be traveling
to his summer retreat in Dagenham.
196
00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:59,099
You're gonna stop his coach and direct him
to Rowney Woods where we will be waiting.
197
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,393
Are you joking? I'm eight.
198
00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:04,813
Exactly. He won't suspect you.
199
00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:08,817
Sorry, just to be clear, does this mean
that I am not in the gang anymore?
200
00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:09,985
- [gunshot]
- [grunts]
201
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:12,321
What if they don't stop?
202
00:10:12,905 --> 00:10:15,324
Then you pull out your barking iron
and you make them stop.
203
00:10:15,324 --> 00:10:16,742
What's a barking iron?
204
00:10:17,993 --> 00:10:19,203
[Nicholas] One of these.
205
00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:21,955
Oh, yeah. I've seen one of those, yeah.
[chuckles]
206
00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:23,582
Got it.
207
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:25,292
Who are you?
208
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,961
Just the local butcher.
I was a butcher actually.
209
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,796
I've just been replaced
by my cousin Benny.
210
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,298
[chuckles] He's got his own knives.
211
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,258
To be honest, I wasn't really feeling it.
212
00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:35,302
You know, I'm a vegan and, uh--
213
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:37,930
I mean, I've got skills. I just
don't really know how to channel them.
214
00:10:37,930 --> 00:10:40,933
But I feel like
there's something out there f-for me.
215
00:10:40,933 --> 00:10:44,019
- [Tom groaning]
- You know, something quite creative.
216
00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:47,731
This is your lucky day.
217
00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:50,192
- Is it?
- [Tom] Yeah.
218
00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:51,860
Got a job for ya.
219
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,779
[chuckles] Cool. What is it?
220
00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:57,241
What I just told her to do!
221
00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:01,078
[Steven] Okay, I guess
I'd just really appreciate some feedback.
222
00:11:01,078 --> 00:11:02,788
- I mean, I thought-- [grunts]
- [gunshot]
223
00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:08,836
Here.
224
00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:14,508
Okay. [sighs] So, um, I just push
that button and it comes out that tube.
225
00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:16,552
Where do I wear that?
Where do you keep yours?
226
00:11:16,552 --> 00:11:19,847
Is it-- Is it sort of up here
or is there a holster?
227
00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:21,181
Is there a safety catch?
228
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:24,017
'Cause I feel like this could go off
in my trousers.
229
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:27,271
No. There's no safety catch.
230
00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:31,358
Right. Seems a bit dangerous.
Maybe I'll carry it in a bag.
231
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:34,611
Yeah. You do that.
232
00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:36,321
Okay.
233
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:40,868
Tomorrow. Ten o'clock. Don't weasel out.
234
00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:45,122
- Steve.
- [gang] Steve.
235
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,501
[Steven] It's Steven.
236
00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:51,086
- [gunshot]
- [Steven grunts]
237
00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:56,300
[Tom] ♪ Oh, my poorest soul
Wherever it may be ♪
238
00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:58,010
- Dick, what are you doing?
- [door closes]
239
00:11:58,010 --> 00:11:59,511
You can't do this.
240
00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:02,598
I couldn't let you go, could I?
You're a child. It's much too dangerous.
241
00:12:02,598 --> 00:12:04,808
- What if we both go?
- That's even worse.
242
00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:06,310
Look, I'll be okay.
243
00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:09,271
Just one question. Did he say
there was or wasn't a safety catch?
244
00:12:09,271 --> 00:12:10,355
Just be careful.
245
00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:13,275
'Cause if you get caught doing this,
you're in real trouble.
246
00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:15,277
I'm not gonna get caught.
Don't worry about me.
247
00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:17,362
I'm a master of disguise.
248
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:23,285
Giddyap, boys. Yep. Yep. [exclaims]
249
00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:26,121
So, what you're saying is
you've seen a gang of men
250
00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:28,707
up in my top field stealing my deer.
251
00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:30,542
And the reason you know this is
252
00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:34,379
because you're from
precisely 15 minutes into the future.
253
00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:35,964
Exactly.
254
00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:37,674
What's it like in the future?
255
00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:40,010
It's pretty much the same as it is now.
256
00:12:40,010 --> 00:12:42,137
I mean,
the outfits have come on a little bit.
257
00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:43,472
Give me that bag.
258
00:12:45,474 --> 00:12:47,809
- What's this?
- That's a banana.
259
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:49,561
[item squeaks]
260
00:12:50,062 --> 00:12:51,146
And this?
261
00:12:51,146 --> 00:12:53,232
It's one of those waterproof ponchos,
in case it rains.
262
00:12:53,232 --> 00:12:55,400
And what's this?
263
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,569
I believe that's called a barking "ion."
264
00:12:57,569 --> 00:13:00,239
- It's a gun.
- Yeah, that's it. It's a gun.
265
00:13:00,239 --> 00:13:04,284
With the initials TK.
You're in Tom King's gang.
266
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,369
Charlatan!
267
00:13:05,369 --> 00:13:08,580
How dare you enter my carriage
with this cock-and-bull story?
268
00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:10,457
- [grunting]
- [Dick] Oh! Please!
269
00:13:12,918 --> 00:13:14,086
[Rookwood] Don't stop, driver!
270
00:13:14,086 --> 00:13:16,630
- It's a bloody ambush!
- [driver exclaims] Come on.
271
00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:18,340
[screams]
272
00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:20,175
[Dick screams]
273
00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:24,513
[Rookwood, Dick scream]
274
00:13:28,267 --> 00:13:31,562
[grunting]
275
00:13:31,562 --> 00:13:34,022
Bye-bye, Future Man!
276
00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:39,361
Get out!
277
00:13:40,571 --> 00:13:43,198
[clicks tongue] Ah, that's a shame.
I love that poncho.
278
00:13:43,198 --> 00:13:44,575
Where is he?
279
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,619
Uh, it didn't quite go according to plan.
280
00:13:49,788 --> 00:13:51,206
Who have you come as?
281
00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:53,375
I'm from the future.
282
00:13:53,375 --> 00:13:55,210
Only 15 minutes into the future.
283
00:13:55,210 --> 00:13:56,295
Uh-huh.
284
00:13:56,295 --> 00:14:00,215
If you're from the future,
you should've seen this coming.
285
00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:02,718
[groans]
286
00:14:06,638 --> 00:14:08,390
- [yelps]
- What happened?
287
00:14:09,141 --> 00:14:10,601
Did you just kill Tom King?
288
00:14:11,393 --> 00:14:14,104
Technically, yeah. But, guys,
there's a little bit of context.
289
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:16,607
Then you are a braver man than me.
290
00:14:16,607 --> 00:14:18,358
He's gone. We're free!
291
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:19,735
- Yes!
- [sighing]
292
00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:21,486
You mean this is fine?
293
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:23,906
We hated him.
You've done us a massive favor.
294
00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:25,157
What, a headshot as well, yeah?
295
00:14:25,157 --> 00:14:28,243
- Nice. I can see inside his mind.
- Oh, that's disgusting.
296
00:14:28,243 --> 00:14:31,538
All he wanted to do was rob people for
money, and that's not what this is about.
297
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:32,623
No. Isn't it?
298
00:14:32,623 --> 00:14:33,916
- No.
- No, of course not.
299
00:14:33,916 --> 00:14:35,584
[Nicholas] I wanna rob people as a protest
300
00:14:35,584 --> 00:14:37,753
about the injustice
of hereditary land ownership.
301
00:14:37,753 --> 00:14:38,837
And to help the poor.
302
00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:40,172
We'll still kill people though?
303
00:14:40,172 --> 00:14:41,840
Yeah, of course we'll still kill people.
304
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:42,925
Sweet.
305
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,303
I can't believe you guys
didn't like Tom King.
306
00:14:46,303 --> 00:14:50,807
Well, he actually said
some really horrible things to me.
307
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:53,810
[sniffles] Really horrible.
308
00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:56,438
Hey, do you wanna talk about it?
309
00:14:56,438 --> 00:14:59,483
[inhales sharply, snorts]
310
00:14:59,483 --> 00:15:02,277
{\an8}And he said I had cankles,
which is not okay.
311
00:15:02,277 --> 00:15:03,195
{\an8}No.
312
00:15:03,195 --> 00:15:05,155
{\an8}'Cause I'm actually quite sensitive
about my legs.
313
00:15:05,155 --> 00:15:08,867
I can never find breeches that fit,
which is why I always ride sidesaddle.
314
00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:12,162
But Tom said I looked like
a big girl's blouse when I did that.
315
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,791
Nothing wrong with looking like
a big girl's blouse, my large friend.
316
00:15:15,791 --> 00:15:17,543
They're practical, they're elegant.
317
00:15:17,543 --> 00:15:19,711
I mean,
I wore a dress for nearly a year once.
318
00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:22,130
No underwear, the breeze blowing up me.
319
00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:23,549
It felt great. You should try it.
320
00:15:23,549 --> 00:15:25,634
- [chuckles] Yes, please.
- We're meant to be scary.
321
00:15:25,634 --> 00:15:26,927
All I'm saying is,
322
00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:30,389
if Moose rocked up
in a stunning loose-cut smock frock,
323
00:15:30,389 --> 00:15:31,849
he'd get my vote.
324
00:15:31,849 --> 00:15:34,434
- It would be more comfortable.
- And your confidence would soar.
325
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:35,853
Clothes maketh the man.
326
00:15:35,853 --> 00:15:37,688
- Clearly.
- Or the woman.
327
00:15:37,688 --> 00:15:40,399
I mean, check out this guy. [chuckles]
Rocking those breeches, yeah?
328
00:15:40,399 --> 00:15:42,192
- Clearly a lady.
- Wait, what?
329
00:15:42,192 --> 00:15:43,944
- [groans]
- Well, that's a game changer.
330
00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:45,028
What, you didn't know?
331
00:15:45,028 --> 00:15:46,655
But you're-- you're called Nicholas.
332
00:15:47,656 --> 00:15:50,784
- Okay, um, my real name is Nell.
- What?
333
00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:53,495
Opportunities for women
in highway robbery aren't exactly great.
334
00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:57,374
So I called myself Nicholas
and dressed as a man.
335
00:15:57,374 --> 00:15:59,626
I mean,
it's pretty obvious to most people.
336
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,421
- No way.
- You know, I can see a time
337
00:16:02,421 --> 00:16:05,716
when women and men do the same job
for the same money.
338
00:16:05,716 --> 00:16:09,386
[laughs] I like it. He's doing a funny.
339
00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:11,638
- That's good.
- I was actually being serious.
340
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:15,976
- [laughing] It's a double bluff. Two.
- [Honesty chuckles]
341
00:16:18,562 --> 00:16:19,730
- Hmm.
- What?
342
00:16:20,606 --> 00:16:23,275
Just thought I saw a loose cartwheel
by that hillock.
343
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:25,652
Rolling.
344
00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:27,946
He made me look! Three! Hat trick.
345
00:16:27,946 --> 00:16:29,865
[chuckling] Oh. Insane.
346
00:16:29,865 --> 00:16:31,283
He's great, isn't he?
347
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:33,702
I like him.
348
00:16:34,912 --> 00:16:36,163
All right, guys. It's been real.
349
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:38,248
I'm gonna skedaddle.
Got a few little bits to do.
350
00:16:38,248 --> 00:16:42,377
Wait, aren't you gonna be our new leader
and, like, spiritual guru and life coach?
351
00:16:42,377 --> 00:16:43,712
[scoffs] I-I-I'm sorry, what?
352
00:16:43,712 --> 00:16:45,547
[stammers] Yeah.
He's in charge now, right?
353
00:16:45,547 --> 00:16:46,840
Me, leader?
354
00:16:47,633 --> 00:16:49,718
Maybe this is what I was destined to do.
355
00:16:49,718 --> 00:16:53,305
Lead a gang of dashing outlaws,
riding across the heath.
356
00:16:53,305 --> 00:16:55,974
- [Honesty] Whoa. Yeah.
- The wind blowing through my hair.
357
00:16:55,974 --> 00:16:57,601
[imitating gunshots]
358
00:16:57,601 --> 00:17:00,062
- [all imitating gunshots]
- Sorry.
359
00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:02,397
"Who are you?"
360
00:17:02,397 --> 00:17:03,899
"I'm Dick Turpin."
361
00:17:03,899 --> 00:17:06,108
"Aren't you a butcher?"
[chuckles] "No, that was ages ago."
362
00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:08,153
- Yes.
-"Can I still buy chops off you?"
363
00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:10,321
"Not really. You'd have to speak
to my dad about that."
364
00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:11,531
Who's he talking to?
365
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,992
- [whispering] His imaginary self.
- He's so cool.
366
00:17:13,992 --> 00:17:15,493
"What about pork medallions?"
367
00:17:15,493 --> 00:17:18,038
"We've been through this, all right?
I'm a highwayman now."
368
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:19,830
I am a highwayman.
369
00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:23,126
- Yes. I'll do it.
- Yeah!
370
00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:24,962
This is so exciting.
We can have a special handshake.
371
00:17:24,962 --> 00:17:27,464
- Yes!
- A little shake, a-a slide.
372
00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:28,966
Fist bump. Booty bounce.
373
00:17:28,966 --> 00:17:30,467
- [grunting]
- No booty bounce.
374
00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:32,469
Right.
You don't get to decide who's leader.
375
00:17:32,469 --> 00:17:35,138
We decide who's leader,
and you're not gonna be leader.
376
00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:36,265
Okay.
377
00:17:36,265 --> 00:17:37,641
I think Dick should be leader.
378
00:17:37,641 --> 00:17:40,394
I-I'm not totally sure, but I think
he's the best man in the world.
379
00:17:40,394 --> 00:17:43,063
Me too. He's gonna make me a dress.
Do you think he has a best friend?
380
00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:45,774
Hang on. What about me? All right?
381
00:17:45,774 --> 00:17:47,860
I'm the best highwayman.
I should be in charge.
382
00:17:47,860 --> 00:17:49,486
[sighs] Nell, we love you.
383
00:17:49,486 --> 00:17:51,154
- Mm-hmm. Mmm.
- You're great with a gun,
384
00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:52,823
- and you ride a mean horse.
- Mmm.
385
00:17:52,823 --> 00:17:54,867
But you do tend to buckle under pressure.
386
00:17:54,867 --> 00:17:56,910
I don't buckle. I never buckle.
387
00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:58,161
I'm unbuckle-able.
388
00:17:58,161 --> 00:17:59,997
Okay then. You can be leader.
389
00:17:59,997 --> 00:18:02,416
- Yeah. Where we going now?
- Head back or get lunch?
390
00:18:02,416 --> 00:18:05,836
Okay. Um, lunch or head back?
391
00:18:05,836 --> 00:18:07,838
Um, both fantastic options.
392
00:18:07,838 --> 00:18:11,592
[clicks tongue] Oh, God. Uh... [sighs]
393
00:18:12,843 --> 00:18:14,303
God, I can't take this stress!
394
00:18:14,303 --> 00:18:15,762
Fine. Whatever. I don't care.
395
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:18,515
- That settles it. Dick's our new leader!
- Yes!
396
00:18:18,515 --> 00:18:21,435
[Dick] And it was in that glorious moment
that my fate was sealed
397
00:18:21,435 --> 00:18:23,103
- and a legend was born.
- [groans]
398
00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:24,730
This is a beautiful moment, guys.
399
00:18:24,730 --> 00:18:26,398
This is where we could do
our special handshake.
400
00:18:26,398 --> 00:18:27,900
- Yes.
- I'm not doing a handshake.
401
00:18:28,567 --> 00:18:29,943
- She'll come around.
- I know.
402
00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:34,072
[Dick] I was now the rightful leader
of my very own gang of outlaws.
403
00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:36,158
- [Bill] Sounds made-up.
- No, it doesn't.
404
00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:37,576
- What bit?
- [Bill] All of it.
405
00:18:37,576 --> 00:18:41,288
One minute you're a butcher
prancing around with your funny ideas.
406
00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:44,041
The next minute
you're dressed as some kind of future man.
407
00:18:44,041 --> 00:18:45,250
Yeah, that was a bit weird.
408
00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:48,420
And then suddenly, you're in charge
of an old gang of criminals.
409
00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:51,924
All right. It does sound a bit made-up.
But I can assure you it did happen.
410
00:18:51,924 --> 00:18:54,092
- I believe you, Dick.
- Thanks, Poorly Martin.
411
00:18:54,092 --> 00:18:57,054
Okay, so let's just do a recap
of what I've written so far.
412
00:18:57,054 --> 00:19:01,225
[clears throat] Turpin,
with his magnificent head of raven hair,
413
00:19:01,225 --> 00:19:03,018
emerges from the upended carriage,
414
00:19:03,018 --> 00:19:05,854
coming face-to-face
with the incandescent Tom King.
415
00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:08,190
Then,
without one thought for his own self,
416
00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:11,777
Dick Turpin bravely and heroically
shoots Tom King in the face.
417
00:19:11,777 --> 00:19:14,571
Dick beguiles the gang to take his place
as the new rightful leader.
418
00:19:14,571 --> 00:19:17,115
Bewitching Honesty,
wrestling Moose to the ground
419
00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:20,077
and seducing Nell, who was clearly
in love with him from the beginning.
420
00:19:20,077 --> 00:19:21,828
- Right?
- I mean, yeah, loosely.
421
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,372
Wow. You're incredible.
422
00:19:23,372 --> 00:19:25,582
Okay. Brilliant. Well, I've got all that.
423
00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:27,876
Now, so you're in charge of the gang.
What happens next?
424
00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:31,964
Well, next, I made myself and the gang
some incredible outfits.
425
00:19:31,964 --> 00:19:34,341
- Outfits?
- Yeah, you know. I wanted us to look good.
426
00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:36,927
I can't listen to this shit anymore.
427
00:19:37,845 --> 00:19:39,429
I love it.
428
00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:40,722
What about the cape? Too long?
429
00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:43,141
- [Little Karen] Can a cape be too long?
- Correct answer.
430
00:19:43,141 --> 00:19:44,518
How do you guys feel?
431
00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:46,770
- Bit weird.
- I like it.
432
00:19:46,770 --> 00:19:48,730
I just feel right.
433
00:19:48,730 --> 00:19:49,815
Sorry, is this leather?
434
00:19:49,815 --> 00:19:53,277
No. Surprisingly, it's pleather.
Parsnip leather.
435
00:19:53,277 --> 00:19:55,988
Catches the light, it's durable,
wipes clean.
436
00:19:55,988 --> 00:19:57,739
- Good for blood, yeah?
- [chuckles] Yeah.
437
00:19:57,739 --> 00:19:59,032
We look incredible.
438
00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:01,034
In fact, somebody draw us.
439
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:02,119
Alf.
440
00:20:15,507 --> 00:20:16,592
[gang groaning, sighing]
441
00:20:16,592 --> 00:20:17,759
Somebody else draw us.
442
00:20:19,553 --> 00:20:21,555
Look out, Dick. Jonathan Wilde's here.
443
00:20:22,556 --> 00:20:24,516
- Who's he?
- The thieftaker general.
444
00:20:24,516 --> 00:20:27,728
I'm not gonna lie, he sounds exactly like
the sort of person we should be avoiding.
445
00:20:27,728 --> 00:20:29,188
No, Dick. He's a crook.
446
00:20:29,188 --> 00:20:30,731
He had a deal with Tom King.
447
00:20:30,731 --> 00:20:32,941
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's dangerous.
- Yeah.
448
00:20:32,941 --> 00:20:36,153
Listen, if you want to walk away
from all this, I wouldn't blame you.
449
00:20:36,153 --> 00:20:38,197
- I'm fine.
- We'll be right here, Dick.
450
00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:41,033
I'll die for you, Dick.
451
00:20:41,033 --> 00:20:42,117
That's good to know.
452
00:20:42,117 --> 00:20:45,871
All right, guys, stand behind me.
Try and look menacing.
453
00:20:45,871 --> 00:20:47,623
Nell, let me do the talking.
454
00:20:47,623 --> 00:20:48,957
- [scoffs]
- [exhales sharply]
455
00:20:52,794 --> 00:20:54,004
Ah, Mr. Wilde.
456
00:20:54,004 --> 00:20:56,715
I have to say,
you're slightly smaller than I'd imagined.
457
00:20:57,799 --> 00:20:59,343
I am Jonathan Wilde.
458
00:20:59,343 --> 00:21:00,802
Yep. That makes more sense.
459
00:21:00,802 --> 00:21:02,804
- This is my son, Christopher.
- Hello, Christopher.
460
00:21:02,804 --> 00:21:05,516
Currently,
my wife and I don't have any childcare.
461
00:21:05,516 --> 00:21:07,059
Absolute ball-ache.
462
00:21:07,684 --> 00:21:09,102
Christopher, go and sit over there.
463
00:21:10,562 --> 00:21:12,231
So, to business.
464
00:21:13,524 --> 00:21:14,691
To business.
465
00:21:18,070 --> 00:21:21,073
Mr. Turpin...
[sighs] ...your reputation precedes you.
466
00:21:21,073 --> 00:21:22,074
Does it?
467
00:21:22,074 --> 00:21:25,827
Well, not many people would have
the nerve to stand up to Tom King.
468
00:21:25,827 --> 00:21:28,330
[chuckles] King was a bully.
I don't like bullies.
469
00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:30,749
Then it's a good thing I come as a friend.
470
00:21:31,542 --> 00:21:34,253
King and I had a certain arrangement.
471
00:21:34,253 --> 00:21:37,047
And now that he's gone
and you seem to be the new leader,
472
00:21:37,047 --> 00:21:41,343
I was wondering if you might be open
to a similar degree of cooperation.
473
00:21:41,343 --> 00:21:43,136
- It's really very simple.
- [Christopher] Dad.
474
00:21:43,136 --> 00:21:44,638
You keep doing what you're doing,
475
00:21:44,638 --> 00:21:46,890
- with no risk of going to the gallows.
- [Christopher] Dad.
476
00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:49,518
We take a look at what you've stolen.
I keep most of it,
477
00:21:49,518 --> 00:21:52,271
maybe even sell one or two items
back to the original owners.
478
00:21:52,271 --> 00:21:53,438
- Dad.
- What?
479
00:21:53,438 --> 00:21:54,565
I found a dead moth.
480
00:21:54,565 --> 00:21:57,317
Christopher,
what did I say to you before we came here?
481
00:21:57,317 --> 00:21:58,735
Keep quiet when you're working.
482
00:21:58,735 --> 00:22:00,696
So why are you telling me
about a dead moth?
483
00:22:00,696 --> 00:22:01,989
It's really big.
484
00:22:01,989 --> 00:22:02,990
Put it down.
485
00:22:02,990 --> 00:22:04,241
It's already dead.
486
00:22:04,241 --> 00:22:07,202
Christopher, you put that moth down now
or you can go and wait in the cart.
487
00:22:08,787 --> 00:22:10,998
Sorry. I mean, adorable, but sometimes...
488
00:22:10,998 --> 00:22:13,584
Okay, so what exactly would be your cut?
489
00:22:13,584 --> 00:22:15,043
Ninety-five percent.
490
00:22:15,043 --> 00:22:17,921
Ninety-five perc--
That's daylight robbery.
491
00:22:17,921 --> 00:22:19,923
I have a lot of overheads, Turpin.
492
00:22:19,923 --> 00:22:23,844
Bribing informants, network of spies,
Christopher's swimming lessons.
493
00:22:23,844 --> 00:22:25,846
- Swimming is important.
- It is.
494
00:22:26,805 --> 00:22:29,224
[sighs] Do you think
you could come down just a little bit?
495
00:22:30,142 --> 00:22:33,187
Listen,
I send a lot of people to the gallows.
496
00:22:34,813 --> 00:22:37,900
Careful, Dick.
I think he might be threatening us.
497
00:22:39,151 --> 00:22:40,152
Not a threat.
498
00:22:41,904 --> 00:22:43,238
We can make an excellent team.
499
00:22:43,238 --> 00:22:45,282
I've already got an excellent team.
500
00:22:45,282 --> 00:22:48,911
We're called the Essex Gang,
and we don't work for anybody.
501
00:22:54,208 --> 00:22:55,918
[sighs] That's a shame.
502
00:22:55,918 --> 00:22:57,085
[slurping]
503
00:22:57,085 --> 00:23:00,464
You, sir,
have just signed your own death warr--
504
00:23:00,464 --> 00:23:03,592
For crying out loud, Christopher,
can you please pack it in?
505
00:23:05,761 --> 00:23:08,639
I'm afraid you and your gang
will be taken in
506
00:23:08,639 --> 00:23:11,058
and hanged for the murder of Tom King.
507
00:23:11,058 --> 00:23:13,560
Oh, really? And who's gonna take us in?
508
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:15,812
- Me.
- [scoffs] You and whose army?
509
00:23:16,939 --> 00:23:18,106
Me and my army.
510
00:23:18,106 --> 00:23:20,067
And who exactly is your army?
511
00:23:20,067 --> 00:23:22,444
Christopher and that singed moth?
512
00:23:22,444 --> 00:23:25,489
No, me and my actual army.
513
00:23:33,789 --> 00:23:35,624
Yeah, that's quite impressive. [sighs]
514
00:23:36,500 --> 00:23:38,919
No one escapes the thieftaker general.
515
00:23:42,339 --> 00:23:44,508
- Guys, secret passage.
- [Honesty] What?
516
00:23:44,508 --> 00:23:47,135
- Go! Go. Go, go!
- [Nell] Come on! Moose!
517
00:23:47,135 --> 00:23:48,679
- [Moose] Honesty!
- [Honesty] Listen to Dick!
518
00:23:48,679 --> 00:23:50,514
I didn't know
this place had a secret passage.
519
00:23:50,514 --> 00:23:51,890
Well, it's a secret, isn't it?
520
00:23:51,890 --> 00:23:53,684
Well, no, I-I take your point.
521
00:23:53,684 --> 00:23:56,895
I suppose if everyone knew about it,
then it would just-- just be a passage.
522
00:23:56,895 --> 00:23:58,230
[chuckles] That's what I said.
523
00:23:58,230 --> 00:24:00,774
You see, we're not so different,
you and I.
524
00:24:01,859 --> 00:24:03,235
Why not come and work for me?
525
00:24:07,281 --> 00:24:08,657
I don't think so.
526
00:24:08,657 --> 00:24:11,285
You see,
Tom King was an old-school highwayman.
527
00:24:11,285 --> 00:24:12,870
I'm new-school.
528
00:24:12,870 --> 00:24:14,830
There's gonna be less violence
on my watch,
529
00:24:14,830 --> 00:24:17,040
more charm, maybe even some panache.
530
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:20,252
We're not gonna be giving money
to fat cats like you.
531
00:24:20,252 --> 00:24:22,462
We're gonna give it to real people,
poor people.
532
00:24:22,462 --> 00:24:24,381
Like Little Karen and Alf who can't draw.
533
00:24:24,381 --> 00:24:25,465
Yes.
534
00:24:26,133 --> 00:24:27,926
Catch you on the flip side, big chin.
535
00:24:30,596 --> 00:24:32,222
[items clattering]
536
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:34,641
Hmm.
537
00:24:40,647 --> 00:24:41,815
Hi. Can I help you?
538
00:24:42,858 --> 00:24:45,402
I mean, who puts a cupboard
next to a secret passage?
539
00:24:45,402 --> 00:24:48,822
- At least make the doors different colors.
- Exactly. Color-code them.
540
00:24:48,822 --> 00:24:51,867
You know, cupboard, it's practical.
It's green or brown, isn't it?
541
00:24:51,867 --> 00:24:54,328
Secret passage is mysterious, so, purple.
542
00:24:54,328 --> 00:24:56,330
- Or turquoise.
- Exactly.
543
00:24:56,330 --> 00:24:59,124
Just put signs on the doors
like with toilets and be done with it.
544
00:24:59,124 --> 00:25:01,543
Can't put signs on a secret door,
Lizzy the Fish.
545
00:25:01,543 --> 00:25:03,086
Wouldn't be secret anymore, would it?
546
00:25:03,086 --> 00:25:05,547
What about a braille sign
that you have to feel?
547
00:25:05,547 --> 00:25:07,299
Can you read braille?
548
00:25:07,299 --> 00:25:10,135
No, but I wouldn't go in a secret passage.
They freak me out.
549
00:25:10,135 --> 00:25:12,888
[groans] As fascinating
as all this cupboard chat is,
550
00:25:12,888 --> 00:25:14,973
I just don't think
it's gonna make the article.
551
00:25:14,973 --> 00:25:16,558
But we've still got
a thrilling ending though.
552
00:25:16,558 --> 00:25:18,727
- Have we? What ending?
- You. You're gonna get hanged.
553
00:25:18,727 --> 00:25:20,354
I'm not gonna get hanged.
Don't you understand?
554
00:25:20,354 --> 00:25:22,564
I got caught,
but not before I rescued my gang.
555
00:25:22,564 --> 00:25:25,025
Leaving them free to rescue me.
It's perfect.
556
00:25:25,526 --> 00:25:27,653
Yeah. No, it is perfect.
Of course they'll come.
557
00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:31,740
They will come.
I heroically and bravely killed Tom King.
558
00:25:31,740 --> 00:25:34,326
And then saved them from Jonathan Wilde.
They love me.
559
00:25:35,077 --> 00:25:37,579
Yeah, no. Of course they do.
And when they rescue you,
560
00:25:37,579 --> 00:25:40,207
I will tag along and write a book
about all your adventures.
561
00:25:40,207 --> 00:25:41,834
The Adventures of Dick Turpin.
562
00:25:41,834 --> 00:25:44,503
And what about if they don't rescue you
and you get hanged?
563
00:25:44,503 --> 00:25:47,047
[Eliza] Well, you know,
then it'll be more of a pamphlet.
564
00:25:47,047 --> 00:25:48,173
A pamphlet?
565
00:25:48,173 --> 00:25:50,467
- A punchy pamphlet.
- A punchy pam--
566
00:25:50,467 --> 00:25:53,387
I don't want to be a punchy--
Nobody wants to be a punchy pamphlet.
567
00:25:53,387 --> 00:25:55,556
I wanna be a punchy pamphlet.
568
00:25:56,348 --> 00:25:57,683
All right then. [sighs]
569
00:25:57,683 --> 00:26:00,060
Everyone back on the wagon.
570
00:26:00,561 --> 00:26:04,022
This is your last chance
to use the toilet.
571
00:26:04,940 --> 00:26:06,066
Ever.
572
00:26:25,460 --> 00:26:28,881
Please take a moment to check
you've got all your personal belongings.
573
00:26:28,881 --> 00:26:29,965
Thank you.
574
00:26:34,636 --> 00:26:37,055
Margaret, you're up.
Think about your husband.
575
00:26:37,890 --> 00:26:39,766
[wailing]
576
00:26:40,350 --> 00:26:41,351
Perfect.
577
00:26:45,189 --> 00:26:48,233
That's dangerous, that is.
Those things can really gather momentum.
578
00:26:48,233 --> 00:26:50,611
- What things?
- Those round things.
579
00:26:50,611 --> 00:26:52,696
- You mean wheels?
- Yeah.
580
00:26:52,696 --> 00:26:54,531
- That's what they're designed to do.
- I know.
581
00:26:54,531 --> 00:26:56,909
I'm just flagging it up.
I don't want to see anyone get hurt.
582
00:26:56,909 --> 00:26:59,828
Well, that's very noble of you, coming
from someone who's about to be hanged.
583
00:26:59,828 --> 00:27:01,955
Geoffrey,
I know we haven't always seen eye to eye,
584
00:27:01,955 --> 00:27:04,708
but I just want to say
I've really enjoyed our time together.
585
00:27:04,708 --> 00:27:06,585
Righto. Mind how you go, Dirk.
586
00:27:06,585 --> 00:27:08,295
- It's Dick actually.
- Whatever.
587
00:27:08,295 --> 00:27:09,922
- Stay in touch, yeah?
- [Geoffrey] Uh-huh.
588
00:27:18,180 --> 00:27:19,640
[executioner] Any last words?
589
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:20,974
Yeah. Give me a minute.
590
00:27:22,935 --> 00:27:24,019
I know what you're thinking.
591
00:27:24,019 --> 00:27:26,480
"Who is this guy
with the incredible cheekbones?
592
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:29,566
Where does he get his hair done?
His jacket's supreme."
593
00:27:29,566 --> 00:27:31,902
Those things aren't important.
Well, they are a little bit.
594
00:27:31,902 --> 00:27:35,781
What is important is
that my name is Dick Turpin,
595
00:27:35,781 --> 00:27:40,244
and one day I'll be the most famous
highwayman in all of England.
596
00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:45,040
You are literally about to be hanged,
you idiot!
597
00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:46,083
[crowd laughing]
598
00:27:46,083 --> 00:27:49,503
I'm not an idiot actually, because
my gang are gonna come and rescue me.
599
00:27:49,503 --> 00:27:52,673
- [crowd jeering]
- In fact, they're already here.
600
00:27:52,673 --> 00:27:55,551
Let me introduce you
to a good friend of mine.
601
00:27:56,134 --> 00:27:57,135
Moose.
602
00:27:57,135 --> 00:27:58,720
[crowd laughing]
603
00:27:59,304 --> 00:28:01,014
[groans] That would have been so good.
604
00:28:01,014 --> 00:28:02,891
This guy is priceless.
605
00:28:04,893 --> 00:28:06,520
- [villager] Hang him!
- I'm sorry.
606
00:28:07,813 --> 00:28:09,064
Let me just get that.
607
00:28:09,064 --> 00:28:10,858
Oh, God, let me get the eyeholes level.
608
00:28:13,068 --> 00:28:15,320
There you go. Can you see?
Yeah, you're good to go.
609
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:16,530
[executioner] That's enough.
610
00:28:17,114 --> 00:28:19,575
[groans, sighs]
611
00:28:21,493 --> 00:28:22,870
[crowd cheers]
612
00:28:25,205 --> 00:28:26,790
Quick note to my gang:
613
00:28:26,790 --> 00:28:28,250
If you were planning a rescue,
614
00:28:28,250 --> 00:28:30,711
probably before the rope goes
around my neck would be a good time.
615
00:28:34,423 --> 00:28:35,757
Guys?
616
00:28:37,092 --> 00:28:41,054
Brilliant. Best hanging I've ever been to.
617
00:28:41,054 --> 00:28:43,807
- [crowd jeering]
- Guys? Guys.
618
00:28:44,391 --> 00:28:46,643
[chuckling]
Come on, guys. Stop messing around.
619
00:28:47,227 --> 00:28:49,730
- Gu--
- [crowd cheers]
620
00:28:49,730 --> 00:28:51,273
[wails]
621
00:28:51,273 --> 00:28:53,192
[Dick choking]
622
00:28:54,610 --> 00:28:56,195
What are you waiting for? Shoot the rope.
623
00:28:56,195 --> 00:28:57,905
- Quickly!
- Stop pressuring me.
624
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:01,617
[crowd gasps]
625
00:29:01,617 --> 00:29:03,035
[executioner] Huh?
626
00:29:05,329 --> 00:29:07,915
[sighs] These things
can be a little bit inaccurate.
627
00:29:07,915 --> 00:29:10,334
You did that on purpose.
You don't even want to save him.
628
00:29:10,334 --> 00:29:12,336
Oh, God. Now he's dying.
629
00:29:12,336 --> 00:29:13,962
Look, his body's gone all jerky.
630
00:29:13,962 --> 00:29:16,548
Calm down. He's not dead.
I'll just reload.
631
00:29:16,548 --> 00:29:18,091
Forget this. I'm doing it my way.
632
00:29:21,178 --> 00:29:23,472
[shouting]
633
00:29:23,472 --> 00:29:25,140
[Moose] We're coming, Dick!
634
00:29:25,807 --> 00:29:27,351
[crowd gasping]
635
00:29:28,101 --> 00:29:29,102
[whistles]
636
00:29:30,395 --> 00:29:31,897
- [crowd screaming]
- [grunts]
637
00:29:31,897 --> 00:29:34,191
[Rookwood] Guards! Get him!
638
00:29:34,191 --> 00:29:35,359
I can't believe you came.
639
00:29:35,359 --> 00:29:37,569
Of course.
You're the best man in the world.
640
00:29:37,569 --> 00:29:38,654
I know.
641
00:29:39,321 --> 00:29:41,823
It's so, so comfortable.
642
00:29:41,823 --> 00:29:43,408
- Moose!
- Sorry, mate.
643
00:29:47,371 --> 00:29:48,372
[Bill] Leg it.
644
00:29:51,458 --> 00:29:53,377
[groans] Not again. [sniffs]
645
00:29:53,377 --> 00:29:55,337
[Honesty grunts, pants]
646
00:29:55,337 --> 00:29:57,256
[banging]
647
00:29:58,298 --> 00:30:00,092
Been in any good cupboards lately?
648
00:30:00,843 --> 00:30:01,844
All right, big chin?
649
00:30:03,053 --> 00:30:07,015
You must have realized by now that
you can never outrun Jonathan Wilde.
650
00:30:08,058 --> 00:30:09,268
- Time to--
- [Christopher] Dad.
651
00:30:09,268 --> 00:30:10,561
- Time to make--
- Dad.
652
00:30:10,561 --> 00:30:12,229
- Time to make--
- Dad!
653
00:30:12,229 --> 00:30:13,897
- For crying out loud, what?
- Cartwheel!
654
00:30:13,897 --> 00:30:15,440
Hmm? [groans]
655
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:16,608
[glass shattering]
656
00:30:16,608 --> 00:30:18,193
I did flag that up actually.
657
00:30:35,502 --> 00:30:38,422
[Dick] Am I gonna have to ride
this small horse all the time?
658
00:30:38,422 --> 00:30:40,966
[Nell] Oh, stop moaning.
It's all I could get at short notice.
659
00:30:40,966 --> 00:30:43,635
[Dick] I mean, I'm the leader.
I should be on a big horse.
660
00:30:43,635 --> 00:30:45,095
I've been on bigger dogs.
661
00:30:45,095 --> 00:30:47,681
[gang laughing]
662
00:30:58,317 --> 00:31:00,402
Right. Let's get on with it.
663
00:31:00,402 --> 00:31:01,528
[grunting]
664
00:31:04,156 --> 00:31:06,450
Christopher,
the whole point of a wanted poster
665
00:31:06,450 --> 00:31:08,785
is people see it and recognize who it is.
666
00:31:08,785 --> 00:31:11,580
This looks like a turtle wearing a dress.
667
00:31:11,580 --> 00:31:12,831
- Who did this?
- Alf.
668
00:31:13,707 --> 00:31:15,667
Alf? Alf from the pub?
669
00:31:15,667 --> 00:31:18,462
Everyone knows he can't draw for toffee.
670
00:31:18,462 --> 00:31:20,839
- How many of these have you had made?
- 3000.
671
00:31:21,423 --> 00:31:24,593
Blood and sand, Christopher.
[sighs] When do schools go back?