1
00:00:25,307 --> 00:00:27,042
Come on, mate.
2
00:00:28,176 --> 00:00:29,611
[sighs]
3
00:00:56,505 --> 00:00:57,706
[exhales sharply]
4
00:01:09,584 --> 00:01:12,587
- [Jean groans]
- [shutter clicking]
5
00:01:13,588 --> 00:01:15,224
[scoffs] Bloody hell.
6
00:01:15,224 --> 00:01:17,426
[shutter clicking continues]
7
00:01:17,426 --> 00:01:19,495
[Dilip] Jean. Ah!
8
00:01:19,495 --> 00:01:21,597
Oh, girls' toilets, Dilip.
9
00:01:21,597 --> 00:01:23,232
I, uh, I was hoping for a word with you.
10
00:01:23,232 --> 00:01:25,934
Well, you can see I'm--
I'm a bit in the middle of it here.
11
00:01:25,934 --> 00:01:28,603
All right. Well, uh [chuckles]
when, then?
12
00:01:29,071 --> 00:01:30,239
We share an office.
13
00:01:30,239 --> 00:01:31,740
Not that sort of word.
14
00:01:31,740 --> 00:01:33,041
Dilip, we can't--
15
00:01:33,709 --> 00:01:35,043
[girls chattering]
16
00:01:36,211 --> 00:01:37,913
You can't be in here, Mr Amagee.
17
00:01:38,881 --> 00:01:41,016
- Unless you're transitioning.
- [both laugh]
18
00:01:41,016 --> 00:01:44,019
Unless you've had lifeguard training,
you two shouldn't be in here either.
19
00:01:44,019 --> 00:01:45,654
[groans] But I'm busting.
20
00:01:45,654 --> 00:01:47,790
We can't all use
one disabled toilet, miss.
21
00:01:47,790 --> 00:01:49,758
There's a massive queue, and it's rank.
22
00:01:49,758 --> 00:01:55,064
Mr Amagee, would you kindly escort
Tina and Sash to the staff loos, please?
23
00:01:55,064 --> 00:01:57,098
Maybe later then.
24
00:01:58,533 --> 00:02:00,235
All right, girls, let's get swimming.
25
00:02:00,235 --> 00:02:03,004
[door opens, closes]
26
00:02:03,872 --> 00:02:06,775
[students chattering]
27
00:02:12,781 --> 00:02:15,751
No, you're all right, Dean.
That were just for other day.
28
00:02:15,751 --> 00:02:17,986
Hey, unless you've been nicking again?
29
00:02:18,454 --> 00:02:20,655
Nah. There's a padlock on the cage.
30
00:02:21,123 --> 00:02:22,924
Oh! Checked, did you?
31
00:02:23,392 --> 00:02:24,726
Happened to be passing.
32
00:02:25,894 --> 00:02:27,796
You're a cheeky chuffer, you.
33
00:02:27,796 --> 00:02:30,799
No, you did your sweeping,
so we're all square.
34
00:02:35,070 --> 00:02:36,137
Just wondering.
35
00:02:36,738 --> 00:02:38,741
Are you aware that half the jobs you do
36
00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:41,476
are a breach of
health and safety regulations?
37
00:02:43,011 --> 00:02:45,113
No, I'm not aware.
38
00:02:46,114 --> 00:02:47,616
Says who?
39
00:02:47,616 --> 00:02:48,717
Internet.
40
00:02:49,451 --> 00:02:52,855
Same Internet that says
aliens blew up the Twin Towers?
41
00:02:52,855 --> 00:02:56,659
Anything requiring ladders or machinery
is a two-man job.
42
00:02:56,659 --> 00:02:57,760
Google it.
43
00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:58,893
[scoffs]
44
00:02:59,327 --> 00:03:03,498
Blackmailed by a year eight.
Now I've seen it all.
45
00:03:19,581 --> 00:03:21,149
[Twiglet] Just here'll do, ta.
46
00:03:25,187 --> 00:03:27,890
Are you sure? I thought you said
you lived at Hanover House.
47
00:03:27,890 --> 00:03:29,725
Got stuff to do around here.
48
00:03:29,725 --> 00:03:32,093
- Okey-dokes. Tara then.
- Tara.
49
00:03:32,561 --> 00:03:35,430
[Dave] Cheers for your help cleaning, lad.
[grunts]
50
00:03:40,068 --> 00:03:41,670
[sighs]
51
00:03:44,673 --> 00:03:46,207
Oh. [stammers]
52
00:03:47,042 --> 00:03:48,977
Dean-- [sighs]
53
00:03:52,014 --> 00:03:53,481
Ah. Thank you.
54
00:04:01,590 --> 00:04:02,857
Thank you.
55
00:04:07,696 --> 00:04:08,730
[sighs]
56
00:04:14,202 --> 00:04:17,539
You know, there's no shame
in having to use a food bank.
57
00:04:17,539 --> 00:04:20,175
Says the bloke
who don't have to use a food bank.
58
00:04:20,175 --> 00:04:24,045
I've had hard times,
and there were no food banks back then.
59
00:04:24,613 --> 00:04:27,415
Most folk have at some point
in their lives.
60
00:04:27,782 --> 00:04:30,652
And I've told ya,
nothing to be ashamed of.
61
00:04:31,653 --> 00:04:33,455
Not if nobody finds out, it's not.
62
00:04:33,923 --> 00:04:36,024
Nobody'll hear nowt from me.
63
00:04:36,558 --> 00:04:39,628
Did I tell Dishy Dilip
you'd been nicking from the kitchens?
64
00:04:39,628 --> 00:04:40,696
No.
65
00:04:40,696 --> 00:04:43,732
Well then, I am a man of my word.
66
00:04:46,768 --> 00:04:48,237
Do you call him Dishy Dilip and all?
67
00:04:48,237 --> 00:04:49,638
Certainly not. Get in.
68
00:04:52,941 --> 00:04:56,645
Listen, Des,
I were never gonna shoot that bloody dog.
69
00:04:56,645 --> 00:05:00,815
Just an idea.
Bad idea, I admit. But I never would have.
70
00:05:01,383 --> 00:05:04,119
Now look [sighs]
let me know where you put the van.
71
00:05:04,119 --> 00:05:07,022
I need it for work, love. All right?
72
00:05:08,991 --> 00:05:12,461
Here we are, sir. Mental Health Unit.
73
00:05:12,461 --> 00:05:16,131
You don't need to be mad to work here,
but it certainly helps.
74
00:05:17,966 --> 00:05:20,068
[dog whining]
75
00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:26,641
[intercom rings]
76
00:05:28,243 --> 00:05:30,713
- [Lucy, on intercom] Hello?
- Hey, I've got some info about your dog.
77
00:05:30,713 --> 00:05:33,715
Oh. Really? [stammers]
Wait there. I'm coming.
78
00:05:41,156 --> 00:05:43,491
[panting] Hi.
79
00:05:44,225 --> 00:05:45,828
[stammers] Uh, do you wanna come in?
80
00:05:45,828 --> 00:05:47,997
- Hey, you're all right.
- Oh, no. Please, I won't--
81
00:05:47,997 --> 00:05:50,566
Look, my dad's in Sheffield
and my mum's out.
82
00:05:50,566 --> 00:05:51,633
There's nobody in.
83
00:06:05,447 --> 00:06:08,650
- I thought you said there was nobody in.
- Oh, no, that's just the cleaner.
84
00:06:09,184 --> 00:06:10,686
My mum's just a cleaner.
85
00:06:10,686 --> 00:06:14,055
Oh, I-- No, I didn't mean-- Sorry.
86
00:06:22,864 --> 00:06:24,066
Wow.
87
00:06:24,066 --> 00:06:26,568
[chuckles] Oh, wh-- what's your name?
88
00:06:27,169 --> 00:06:28,971
Does it matter?
89
00:06:28,971 --> 00:06:31,106
Uh, look, before you ask for anything,
90
00:06:31,106 --> 00:06:33,742
my dad is negotiating
with the kidnappers, so
91
00:06:33,742 --> 00:06:36,912
Yeah, that's all bollocks. I should know.
I was the one who nicked her.
92
00:06:38,947 --> 00:06:39,981
Oh.
93
00:06:41,049 --> 00:06:42,818
Well [stammers] is she all right?
94
00:06:42,818 --> 00:06:45,053
- [barks]
- [shrieks] Chelsea!
95
00:06:46,888 --> 00:06:48,857
Hello! Hello.
96
00:06:48,857 --> 00:06:50,626
[kisses] Hello.
97
00:06:50,626 --> 00:06:52,661
Sorry about her fur.
It'll grow out, I guess.
98
00:06:52,661 --> 00:06:54,997
Oh, it doesn't matter. Not at all. Hello.
99
00:06:54,997 --> 00:06:57,866
- Huh. Pleased to see you, eh?
- [Lucy] Hey.
100
00:06:59,701 --> 00:07:01,003
Thank you.
101
00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:03,538
Oh, you really don't have to thank me.
102
00:07:04,639 --> 00:07:06,008
We're thinking of puppies for her.
103
00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:07,609
Cute.
104
00:07:07,609 --> 00:07:09,111
Well, maybe you could--
105
00:07:09,111 --> 00:07:11,012
- You know--
- What, me?
106
00:07:11,379 --> 00:07:13,749
Oh, I don't have that sort of cash, do I?
107
00:07:13,749 --> 00:07:15,618
Oh, you wouldn't have to pay.
108
00:07:15,618 --> 00:07:19,421
Sweet, but they deserve better.
I mean, you should see where I live.
109
00:07:19,421 --> 00:07:21,656
[chuckles] Any road, I'm gonna cut.
110
00:07:23,125 --> 00:07:24,526
[Lucy sighs] Thank you.
111
00:07:26,862 --> 00:07:28,029
I won't tell anyone.
112
00:07:31,133 --> 00:07:34,870
Um it's Destiny.
113
00:07:34,870 --> 00:07:38,139
Everyone calls me Des,
but my name's Destiny.
114
00:07:39,808 --> 00:07:40,842
[scoffs]
115
00:07:41,710 --> 00:07:43,178
Tara, dog.
116
00:07:43,178 --> 00:07:44,813
Have a good one.
117
00:07:47,549 --> 00:07:49,618
Hello, beautiful.
118
00:07:49,618 --> 00:07:52,888
[Gaz, on phone] Listen, Des,
I were never gonna shoot that bloody dog.
119
00:07:52,888 --> 00:07:56,792
Just an idea.
Bad idea, I admit. But I never would have.
120
00:07:56,792 --> 00:07:57,859
[grunts]
121
00:07:59,828 --> 00:08:01,029
[kicks console]
122
00:08:03,932 --> 00:08:07,469
[violins playing off-key]
123
00:08:09,771 --> 00:08:11,039
[teacher cheers]
124
00:08:11,707 --> 00:08:13,108
Soaring.
125
00:08:20,082 --> 00:08:21,716
Oh, it's majestic.
126
00:08:25,687 --> 00:08:27,489
Right, guys, stop playing.
127
00:08:28,590 --> 00:08:31,894
I need you to leave the room, please.
[claps] Now. Everybody out!
128
00:08:31,894 --> 00:08:34,863
- Move now, ask later! Come on! Go!
- [ceiling rumbling]
129
00:08:34,863 --> 00:08:36,631
Go. Now. Out!
130
00:08:40,869 --> 00:08:41,970
[mouthing] Oh.
131
00:08:44,006 --> 00:08:45,073
[mouthing] Fuck.
132
00:08:53,615 --> 00:08:57,118
Year seven violins
bring the house down, literally.
133
00:09:03,348 --> 00:09:05,484
[Jean, on phone]
Guy, this whole building's falling down.
134
00:09:05,484 --> 00:09:07,418
Get your arse over here now!
135
00:09:16,494 --> 00:09:19,164
Oh, we are honoured.
136
00:09:19,164 --> 00:09:20,966
Darren! Just the chap.
137
00:09:20,966 --> 00:09:22,167
You know you lost your job?
138
00:09:22,167 --> 00:09:24,236
[Darren] Yes. I'm on the scrap heap at 42.
139
00:09:24,236 --> 00:09:25,370
Well, guess what?
140
00:09:26,004 --> 00:09:27,839
- You're not.
- Not what?
141
00:09:27,839 --> 00:09:31,310
The, uh, car coat will have to go,
and you need a suit.
142
00:09:31,310 --> 00:09:33,345
One from this century.
143
00:09:33,345 --> 00:09:36,114
And, uh, shoes that don't look like
they've been nicked from a primary school.
144
00:09:37,449 --> 00:09:38,517
Not following.
145
00:09:38,517 --> 00:09:41,386
Darren, you're hired.
146
00:09:47,225 --> 00:09:48,493
[Destiny] Yeah, yeah. I get it.
147
00:09:48,493 --> 00:09:51,163
Mum was right for once.
148
00:09:51,163 --> 00:09:53,331
And stop looking so pleased.
149
00:09:54,065 --> 00:09:56,301
Will you read us a bedtime story, Des?
150
00:09:56,301 --> 00:09:57,735
Suppose.
151
00:09:58,269 --> 00:10:01,173
There weren't no dinner money again.
152
00:10:01,173 --> 00:10:02,473
Again?
153
00:10:06,344 --> 00:10:07,378
[sighs]
154
00:10:09,214 --> 00:10:11,049
[water dripping]
155
00:10:13,251 --> 00:10:14,485
Bloody hell.
156
00:10:18,790 --> 00:10:21,159
Uh, Mrs Horsfall?
157
00:10:21,159 --> 00:10:23,762
Who are you,
and what you doing in my school?
158
00:10:23,762 --> 00:10:27,833
Uh, Darren, Deputy Head of Operations,
Excello Commercial, at your service.
159
00:10:27,833 --> 00:10:29,268
Hmm. Where's Guy?
160
00:10:29,268 --> 00:10:32,971
Oh, he had to, uh-- The office. Calls.
161
00:10:32,971 --> 00:10:35,173
The old disappearing act, eh?
162
00:10:35,173 --> 00:10:38,710
I told him those bogs were dodgy,
but he didn't listen.
163
00:10:38,710 --> 00:10:41,747
He never listens,
and this is what happens.
164
00:10:41,747 --> 00:10:43,749
[dripping continues]
165
00:10:43,749 --> 00:10:46,151
I'm sorry for your loss.
166
00:10:46,151 --> 00:10:49,922
- So, it's an insurance job, I presume?
- Well--
167
00:10:49,922 --> 00:10:52,957
That had better not be one of those
"wells" that's gonna give me an ulcer.
168
00:10:53,425 --> 00:10:58,931
Apparently, and I'm a bit new to this,
the installation was over eight years ago.
169
00:10:58,931 --> 00:11:01,333
So, uh, contractually, it's wear--
170
00:11:01,333 --> 00:11:02,734
[clattering]
171
00:11:03,768 --> 00:11:05,003
Wear and tear.
172
00:11:05,003 --> 00:11:06,505
Wear and tear?
173
00:11:06,505 --> 00:11:09,140
There were violins
floating out the bloody door.
174
00:11:10,375 --> 00:11:12,710
Hmm. Hmm.
175
00:11:13,478 --> 00:11:14,913
There's nothing on it.
176
00:11:15,581 --> 00:11:18,150
- Sorry?
- Your clipboard. It's blank.
177
00:11:18,150 --> 00:11:20,085
Like you, it seems.
178
00:11:20,085 --> 00:11:22,154
You're gonna try and get this put
on the maintenance budget, aren't you?
179
00:11:22,154 --> 00:11:25,424
Well, I'm not having it.
This is one Excello-con-trick too many.
180
00:11:25,424 --> 00:11:27,692
You tell Guy this is war!
181
00:11:30,462 --> 00:11:31,930
Nice to meet you.
182
00:11:31,930 --> 00:11:33,331
[Jean] Hmm.
183
00:11:39,237 --> 00:11:41,773
[dripping continues]
184
00:11:41,773 --> 00:11:44,142
[knocking]
185
00:11:47,512 --> 00:11:49,348
Drown your sorrows?
186
00:11:49,348 --> 00:11:51,216
You've drowned my bloody music room.
187
00:11:57,989 --> 00:11:59,992
- Cheers.
- [announcers chattering on TV]
188
00:11:59,992 --> 00:12:01,192
Kill the bastard!
189
00:12:03,361 --> 00:12:06,030
- [mother chuckles]
- [chattering on TV continues]
190
00:12:06,698 --> 00:12:09,434
Hey, at least I got a lot of sympathy
out of Dishy Dilip.
191
00:12:09,434 --> 00:12:10,502
Post-tsunami.
192
00:12:10,502 --> 00:12:12,371
Hence the tears.
193
00:12:12,371 --> 00:12:13,472
I was upset.
194
00:12:13,472 --> 00:12:16,475
Right. Outrageous, Hetty.
195
00:12:16,475 --> 00:12:18,443
He's single. I'm single.
196
00:12:18,443 --> 00:12:20,211
Yeah. Though Dilip's
197
00:12:21,479 --> 00:12:22,915
What?
198
00:12:22,915 --> 00:12:25,417
Well, he's younger than you, Het.
199
00:12:25,417 --> 00:12:27,252
- Quite a bit younger.
- True.
200
00:12:27,252 --> 00:12:29,287
But his last girlfriend was older.
201
00:12:30,455 --> 00:12:32,857
How the hell do you know that?
202
00:12:47,372 --> 00:12:49,274
Clever girl.
203
00:12:51,109 --> 00:12:53,444
[groans] There we go.
204
00:13:35,220 --> 00:13:37,756
[Jean] You don't need to wait up, love.
You know that.
205
00:13:37,756 --> 00:13:41,026
Well, we can't put the house
to bed properly until you're back.
206
00:13:41,026 --> 00:13:42,293
Can we, Lulah?
207
00:13:44,296 --> 00:13:45,931
[groans] Hetty, all right?
208
00:13:45,931 --> 00:13:47,999
Oh, considering.
209
00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:50,135
What is it with her and men?
210
00:13:50,135 --> 00:13:52,070
Now she thinks
she's got a chance with Dilip.
211
00:13:52,070 --> 00:13:54,206
[chuckles] Oh, Dishy Dilip?
212
00:13:54,206 --> 00:13:57,743
Deputy Headmaster Dilip,
as he prefers to be called.
213
00:13:57,743 --> 00:13:59,778
- I don't mean to be rude--
- No, be rude.
214
00:13:59,778 --> 00:14:02,214
She smokes like a chimney,
she's got purple hair,
215
00:14:02,214 --> 00:14:04,149
and she's
in a coercive-control relationship
216
00:14:04,149 --> 00:14:06,184
with two cats and her crazy mother.
217
00:14:06,184 --> 00:14:08,120
And there speaks her friend.
218
00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:09,922
Oh, you know I love her, really.
219
00:14:09,922 --> 00:14:12,891
- It's just-- You know, get real.
- [Dave chuckles]
220
00:14:12,891 --> 00:14:14,192
How about you?
221
00:14:14,993 --> 00:14:16,328
Took Lulah down the park,
222
00:14:16,328 --> 00:14:21,099
two poos, duly bagged up and disposed of,
223
00:14:21,099 --> 00:14:23,434
got wet, came home.
224
00:14:25,303 --> 00:14:27,439
[kissing]
225
00:14:27,439 --> 00:14:28,673
[moaning]
226
00:14:33,378 --> 00:14:35,413
[kissing continues]
227
00:14:38,783 --> 00:14:39,817
[grunts]
228
00:14:42,754 --> 00:14:44,022
[Jean] Night, love.
229
00:14:44,022 --> 00:14:45,290
Night. [sighs]
230
00:14:46,858 --> 00:14:52,764
[sighs] Goodnight, Tallulah.
Mmm, Tallulah.
231
00:14:55,967 --> 00:14:57,168
[Jean] Dave?
232
00:14:57,669 --> 00:15:00,371
Oh. Night, Tallulah. [sighs]
233
00:15:07,045 --> 00:15:08,880
[Horse] Questions, questions.
234
00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:11,015
Thirty-three pages of them.
235
00:15:11,483 --> 00:15:12,985
Do I have trouble eating?
236
00:15:12,985 --> 00:15:14,987
Do I cut my own food up?
237
00:15:14,987 --> 00:15:17,789
Do I need a-- a feeding tube?
238
00:15:17,789 --> 00:15:20,325
I mean, what even is a feeding tube?
239
00:15:21,526 --> 00:15:22,961
Might mean a straw?
240
00:15:22,961 --> 00:15:25,063
Oh, yeah, cocktails.
241
00:15:25,063 --> 00:15:26,531
They think of everything.
242
00:15:26,531 --> 00:15:29,501
- I'm gonna put "no."
- [Gerald] Ah, steady on.
243
00:15:29,501 --> 00:15:31,970
The computer's doing the deciding,
you know?
244
00:15:31,970 --> 00:15:33,338
And they've got a mind of their own.
245
00:15:33,338 --> 00:15:34,506
He's right.
246
00:15:34,506 --> 00:15:37,242
Computer tots up yeses and noes.
247
00:15:37,242 --> 00:15:39,244
Too many noes [imitates slashing]
248
00:15:39,244 --> 00:15:40,879
Oh.
249
00:15:40,879 --> 00:15:43,014
Then again, too many yeses
[imitates slashing]
250
00:15:43,481 --> 00:15:44,816
[Horse] Oh, sh--
251
00:15:45,550 --> 00:15:49,288
Now I am confused. I mean,
I've been getting my benefits for years.
252
00:15:49,288 --> 00:15:50,421
What's changed?
253
00:15:50,889 --> 00:15:54,426
I mean, why do they want to know
how long I take to wash?
254
00:15:54,426 --> 00:15:56,395
- It's a bit personal, isn't it?
- [mouthing] Yeah.
255
00:15:56,395 --> 00:15:59,297
- What's the right answer?
- [Gaz] Don't worry. We'll help.
256
00:15:59,965 --> 00:16:00,965
Right.
257
00:16:02,300 --> 00:16:04,702
"Do you suffer from anxiety?"
258
00:16:05,737 --> 00:16:07,672
I bloody well do now.
259
00:16:10,108 --> 00:16:12,077
[students chattering]
260
00:16:12,077 --> 00:16:13,845
Honestly, it was good I got them out--
261
00:16:13,845 --> 00:16:17,049
- Did you lose the instruments?
- Aha! Destiny Schofield!
262
00:16:17,049 --> 00:16:19,084
- [sighs]
- Many are called, but few are chosen.
263
00:16:19,084 --> 00:16:21,219
- Have you lost your pen, love?
- No, I don't think so.
264
00:16:21,219 --> 00:16:23,454
It's just you haven't signed up
for my choir.
265
00:16:23,922 --> 00:16:27,192
List's on the music board.
Administrative oversight?
266
00:16:27,192 --> 00:16:28,493
[sighs] Busy, miss.
267
00:16:28,493 --> 00:16:30,896
Come on. You've got a great voice.
268
00:16:30,896 --> 00:16:32,898
- Besides, I need you on piano.
- [sighs]
269
00:16:32,898 --> 00:16:34,299
[Hetty] Have a look at this.
270
00:16:34,299 --> 00:16:36,901
I've sent a few kids here over the years.
271
00:16:37,902 --> 00:16:41,673
Hallam F.E. College.
They do an HND in Music Tech.
272
00:16:42,374 --> 00:16:44,409
I wasn't thinking of--
273
00:16:44,409 --> 00:16:47,245
Worst that can happen is you become a
roadie for a Rolling Stones tribute band.
274
00:16:48,947 --> 00:16:50,782
Who are the Rolling Stones, miss?
275
00:16:52,417 --> 00:16:55,387
I feel a detention coming on, Mr Amagee.
276
00:16:55,387 --> 00:16:57,723
Detention slips are in my pocket,
Miss Baxter.
277
00:16:57,723 --> 00:16:59,391
Or are you just pleased to see me?
278
00:16:59,391 --> 00:17:00,725
[laughs]
279
00:17:03,428 --> 00:17:06,131
Have a look. It's worth a thought.
280
00:17:06,131 --> 00:17:09,534
And I have to ask, is the world ready
for Destiny the hairdresser?
281
00:17:09,534 --> 00:17:11,870
What's wrong with Destiny the hairdresser?
282
00:17:11,870 --> 00:17:15,807
I just prefer Destiny the musician,
but it's your life, love.
283
00:17:15,807 --> 00:17:17,309
[school bell rings]
284
00:17:17,309 --> 00:17:19,143
You're good enough.
That's all you need to know.
285
00:17:19,577 --> 00:17:21,212
- [all] Ooh.
- [Destiny] Shut up.
286
00:17:22,948 --> 00:17:25,350
[students chattering]
287
00:17:50,475 --> 00:17:52,411
[grunts]
288
00:17:52,411 --> 00:17:56,715
Bloody hell. I'd given up on that
as another of your retirement projects.
289
00:17:56,715 --> 00:17:58,917
O ye of little faith.
290
00:17:58,917 --> 00:18:03,789
No, I, uh, managed to find a bolt
on one of them dead lawn mowers at school.
291
00:18:03,789 --> 00:18:07,058
- Told you I would.
- Yeah, you did. Eighteen months ago.
292
00:18:07,959 --> 00:18:13,798
As the good book says, wisdom,
fine wine and M6 bolts cannot be hurried.
293
00:18:14,532 --> 00:18:16,368
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you
294
00:18:16,368 --> 00:18:18,904
- [treadmill beeps]
- the stairway to heaven.
295
00:18:18,904 --> 00:18:20,205
Clever chap.
296
00:18:20,205 --> 00:18:21,707
May I?
297
00:18:21,707 --> 00:18:23,274
The floor is yours.
298
00:18:25,243 --> 00:18:26,811
[beeping]
299
00:18:30,982 --> 00:18:31,983
[clicks tongue]
300
00:18:33,285 --> 00:18:35,787
Them year eights are
a bunch of buggers, eh?
301
00:18:35,787 --> 00:18:37,188
Mmm.
302
00:18:40,091 --> 00:18:41,994
What's with that Dean lad?
303
00:18:41,994 --> 00:18:45,297
Dean? Oh, you mean Twiglet?
304
00:18:45,297 --> 00:18:48,533
That's him. Yeah, w-what's the, uh--
What's the story there?
305
00:18:48,533 --> 00:18:52,971
Oh, asthmatic, dyslexic, ADHD,
306
00:18:52,971 --> 00:18:57,142
a dodgy home life,
bullied by all the usual little twats.
307
00:18:57,142 --> 00:18:58,476
You name it.
308
00:18:59,144 --> 00:19:00,378
Why?
309
00:19:01,313 --> 00:19:02,981
Can't you do owt?
310
00:19:02,981 --> 00:19:06,818
Well, I try,
but he's one of 38 "at risks" in juniors.
311
00:19:06,818 --> 00:19:11,022
And I have to say he's got a mouth on him,
this Twiglet. He winds folk up.
312
00:19:11,523 --> 00:19:15,427
Dave, I can't talk and run
at the same time.
313
00:19:15,427 --> 00:19:17,129
Copy that.
314
00:19:17,129 --> 00:19:19,798
- Oh [chuckles] bloody hell.
- [Jean] Dave!
315
00:19:19,798 --> 00:19:21,099
Oh, you wazzock.
316
00:19:22,734 --> 00:19:24,002
[breathing heavily]
317
00:19:29,107 --> 00:19:30,408
Thought you'd chucked them out.
318
00:20:12,384 --> 00:20:14,886
Can't take books, I'm afraid.
We're chock-a-block.
319
00:20:14,886 --> 00:20:16,455
It's clothes and stuff.
320
00:20:16,455 --> 00:20:17,855
Oh.
321
00:20:18,623 --> 00:20:23,061
[chuckles] Tag's still on this one.
Oh, they grow so fast, don't they?
322
00:20:23,061 --> 00:20:24,495
No, he died.
323
00:20:25,764 --> 00:20:26,831
Oh, I'm so sorry.
324
00:20:27,465 --> 00:20:29,300
Long time ago now.
325
00:20:45,379 --> 00:20:48,215
- Is this--
- Permission to join the bridge?
326
00:20:48,215 --> 00:20:51,385
Ah, come aboard, Dave.
What can we do you for?
327
00:20:51,385 --> 00:20:54,221
I wondered if, uh,
Dean Blakefield was in today.
328
00:20:54,221 --> 00:20:56,757
I found his sports bag
trying to make a break for it
329
00:20:56,757 --> 00:20:58,459
on the roof of the science block.
330
00:20:58,459 --> 00:21:00,261
Oh, I bet I can guess
who chucked it up there.
331
00:21:00,261 --> 00:21:02,496
Mmm, fiver says it's JJ.
332
00:21:02,496 --> 00:21:04,431
Just bung it in at lost property, love.
333
00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:07,101
Well, I just thought he might have games
this aft, that's all.
334
00:21:07,101 --> 00:21:09,470
Ah, okay, well, uh, Twiglet, Twig--
335
00:21:09,470 --> 00:21:11,572
He's off sick.
336
00:21:11,572 --> 00:21:14,641
Oh, okay. Thanks.
337
00:21:15,342 --> 00:21:18,946
[inhales sharply]
So, this is the one that--
338
00:21:18,946 --> 00:21:22,215
It's bullying, you know?
And it shouldn't be tolerated.
339
00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:24,518
It's not tolerated.
340
00:21:24,986 --> 00:21:27,254
So, am I to send JJ in to see you?
341
00:21:28,088 --> 00:21:29,456
We'll sort it, Dave.
342
00:21:32,392 --> 00:21:34,294
Right. [sighs]
343
00:21:54,114 --> 00:21:55,348
[sighs]
344
00:22:01,255 --> 00:22:02,289
Mrs Blakefield?
345
00:22:02,757 --> 00:22:05,258
- Depends.
- I've got Twiglet's sports bag.
346
00:22:18,071 --> 00:22:20,541
I won't stop. I'm just, uh-- Wow.
347
00:22:20,541 --> 00:22:22,943
[sighs] Thought you were
building maintenance.
348
00:22:24,444 --> 00:22:26,080
No, no, I'm, uh--
349
00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:27,515
I know who you are now, love.
350
00:22:27,515 --> 00:22:29,649
Deano's been telling me all about ya.
351
00:22:30,584 --> 00:22:32,319
They hate my plants.
352
00:22:32,319 --> 00:22:34,522
Always on about it making the place damp,
353
00:22:34,522 --> 00:22:37,591
but you've got to keep
the oxygen levels up if you're asthmatic.
354
00:22:38,726 --> 00:22:41,962
Sheffield's got seven hills,
then it's got seven valleys.
355
00:22:41,962 --> 00:22:43,697
That's where the nasties gather.
356
00:22:45,065 --> 00:22:46,466
Have a seat, duck.
357
00:22:47,734 --> 00:22:50,971
Dean normally tidies up,
but he's not well.
358
00:22:51,572 --> 00:22:53,107
Yeah, is he in?
359
00:22:53,107 --> 00:22:54,675
I can't get around much.
360
00:22:54,675 --> 00:22:58,245
Degenerative scoliosis
with all the trimmings. [chuckles]
361
00:22:58,746 --> 00:23:02,449
I'm in for another operation soon,
so I don't know.
362
00:23:03,750 --> 00:23:06,020
Deano's been helping out, I hear.
363
00:23:06,020 --> 00:23:07,688
- Well, he--
- It's fine by me.
364
00:23:07,688 --> 00:23:09,590
He's a handy lad.
365
00:23:09,590 --> 00:23:12,159
It's not much fun hanging out
with his old mum, is it? [chuckles]
366
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:16,096
He's a bit chatty, but he's a good kid.
367
00:23:16,964 --> 00:23:18,398
Yeah, I know.
368
00:23:19,199 --> 00:23:20,233
Is he okay?
369
00:23:21,468 --> 00:23:22,969
Getting better.
370
00:23:47,427 --> 00:23:51,198
[students chattering]
371
00:23:55,068 --> 00:23:57,204
[Twiglet] Oi, get off me! Leave me alone!
372
00:23:57,204 --> 00:23:59,373
Pick on someone your own size!
Leave me alone!
373
00:23:59,373 --> 00:24:01,242
- [JJ] Come on. Give it.
- I just want my bag!
374
00:24:01,242 --> 00:24:03,076
- Leave me alone! Get off me!
- [Dave] Oi!
375
00:24:04,211 --> 00:24:05,646
- He started it.
- Get off me.
376
00:24:05,646 --> 00:24:08,348
Yeah, and I'm finishing it.
Now piss off home!
377
00:24:09,082 --> 00:24:11,385
- Swearing, that is.
- I'll tell the head.
378
00:24:11,385 --> 00:24:14,921
Return to your lair, JJ. Go on. Hop it.
379
00:24:17,991 --> 00:24:19,659
[bullies laughing]
380
00:24:23,297 --> 00:24:25,132
Back with a bang, eh, Dean?
381
00:24:26,067 --> 00:24:30,938
How about, "Thanks for rescuing my sports
bag and dropping it home, Mr Horsfall"?
382
00:24:30,938 --> 00:24:33,174
Thanks for a shitload of nothing,
Mr Horsfall.
383
00:24:33,174 --> 00:24:34,642
I beg your pardon.
384
00:24:34,642 --> 00:24:36,610
It were me who threw it up there.
385
00:24:37,711 --> 00:24:40,147
- You did?
- Course I did.
386
00:24:40,147 --> 00:24:43,016
No sports kit, no sports. Capisce?
387
00:24:45,485 --> 00:24:47,221
Dean [groans]
388
00:24:47,221 --> 00:24:50,958
I went Free Solo
on them ladders to get that bag.
389
00:24:50,958 --> 00:24:56,596
No ropes, no oxygen, just me
battling the elements in yon Death Zone.
390
00:24:58,131 --> 00:25:00,000
I'm glad you're amused.
391
00:25:00,935 --> 00:25:04,204
Oh, that's why you left it
in my car and all, eh?
392
00:25:05,973 --> 00:25:08,909
Any road, all better now?
393
00:25:11,678 --> 00:25:14,281
'Cause I missed you.
394
00:25:15,582 --> 00:25:17,518
Yeah?
395
00:25:17,518 --> 00:25:22,223
Turns out life isn't complete without
a 12-year-old smart-arse. Who knew?
396
00:25:22,223 --> 00:25:23,523
Come on.
397
00:25:26,627 --> 00:25:30,464
- [sighs] Flu, was it? It's going round.
- Something like that.
398
00:25:30,464 --> 00:25:32,199
Ah, there we go.
399
00:25:33,133 --> 00:25:34,268
Your mum's nice.
400
00:25:34,268 --> 00:25:35,402
She's mad.
401
00:25:36,470 --> 00:25:38,072
She certainly likes her plants.
402
00:25:38,072 --> 00:25:40,674
No, I mean proper mad. Hypermanic.
403
00:25:41,608 --> 00:25:43,577
Oh, right.
404
00:25:43,577 --> 00:25:48,381
You know, the older I get,
the more I realise everyone's a bit mad.
405
00:25:49,183 --> 00:25:51,018
Except me, obviously.
406
00:25:51,018 --> 00:25:52,252
- And me.
- [chuckles]
407
00:25:52,753 --> 00:25:54,622
[Dave] Dean, lad.
408
00:25:54,622 --> 00:25:57,557
Me and you are probably the only
two sane people in the whole country.
409
00:25:58,125 --> 00:26:00,561
- Maybe even the world.
- [chuckles] Hey, don't let on.
410
00:26:00,561 --> 00:26:02,530
Otherwise,
they'll have us running the place,
411
00:26:02,530 --> 00:26:04,131
and we'd never get home for us tea.
412
00:26:04,131 --> 00:26:06,600
Speaking of which,
time for a floor polish?
413
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:07,968
- [Twiglet] Yeah.
- [Dave] Yeah.
414
00:26:07,968 --> 00:26:10,303
["Bad Moon Rising" playing]
415
00:26:22,349 --> 00:26:25,919
[song continues]
416
00:26:29,323 --> 00:26:31,725
[song continues, speakers muffled]
417
00:26:36,964 --> 00:26:40,133
[song continues]
418
00:27:13,767 --> 00:27:15,902
- [song ends]
- [bag thuds]
419
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:23,244
- [Yaz] What?
- There's no dinner money again! Mum!
420
00:27:23,244 --> 00:27:25,379
- [Yaz] It's in the tray!
- There's not!
421
00:27:25,379 --> 00:27:28,315
- [Yaz] I put it there last night!
- No, there's not!
422
00:27:28,315 --> 00:27:31,719
- [Yaz sighs] Des!
- She went really early.
423
00:27:31,719 --> 00:27:34,421
Ooh, that thieving little--
[clicks tongue]
424
00:27:37,591 --> 00:27:39,993
[sighs] Right.
425
00:27:40,828 --> 00:27:44,331
- Now, you two, bugger off.
- [twins] Love ya!
426
00:27:50,370 --> 00:27:53,573
[humming]
427
00:27:58,412 --> 00:28:01,315
[Jean] Since when have you been
so cheerful on a two day?
428
00:28:01,315 --> 00:28:05,953
As the Kama Sutra says, you cannot
allow the food to control you, Jean.
429
00:28:05,953 --> 00:28:07,988
You must control the food.
430
00:28:08,389 --> 00:28:11,992
Mmm. One less tomato to bother the world.
431
00:28:11,992 --> 00:28:14,327
I'd check your phone
if I didn't know you better.
432
00:28:14,694 --> 00:28:17,031
There's only ever been
one love in my life,
433
00:28:17,031 --> 00:28:18,432
apart from cheese and onion crisps.
434
00:28:18,432 --> 00:28:19,733
You know that, Jeanie.
435
00:28:19,733 --> 00:28:21,301
Right, I'm off.
436
00:28:21,769 --> 00:28:26,506
[humming "Bad Moon Rising"]
437
00:28:31,211 --> 00:28:32,712
Call that a slice?
438
00:28:33,380 --> 00:28:36,317
Come on, Lomper. I'm a valued customer.
439
00:28:36,317 --> 00:28:37,618
Well, you're a customer.
440
00:28:37,618 --> 00:28:39,519
And you're on a diet.
441
00:28:42,222 --> 00:28:44,492
Found a name for your rebrand yet?
442
00:28:44,492 --> 00:28:46,460
Ask him.
443
00:28:46,460 --> 00:28:51,131
He's been reading French cookbooks lately,
which is a worry obviously.
444
00:28:51,965 --> 00:28:53,266
[door opens]
445
00:28:54,768 --> 00:28:56,036
Excuse.
446
00:28:59,273 --> 00:29:01,208
What are you doing here?
447
00:29:01,208 --> 00:29:04,245
Not the warm greeting I was hoping to get
from mine host, I must say.
448
00:29:04,245 --> 00:29:05,979
The personal touch.
449
00:29:06,380 --> 00:29:09,750
It's very important
for a struggling High Street business.
450
00:29:09,750 --> 00:29:13,320
Nobody who borrows 15 grand
can be struggling, Bill.
451
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:14,522
How would they pay it back?
452
00:29:14,522 --> 00:29:16,190
Keep it down, will you?
453
00:29:16,190 --> 00:29:17,992
Thanks, Dennis. Right.
454
00:29:17,992 --> 00:29:19,326
Tara then!
455
00:29:19,326 --> 00:29:21,995
[clears throat, whistling]
456
00:29:24,531 --> 00:29:26,667
Ah. There goes one happy customer.
457
00:29:26,667 --> 00:29:29,202
The ambience. It's thriving.
458
00:29:30,037 --> 00:29:33,174
I'm very confident
he's gonna be a punctual payer, Bill.
459
00:29:33,174 --> 00:29:35,409
I don't owe you owt till next month.
460
00:29:35,409 --> 00:29:37,044
That's what we agreed.
461
00:29:37,044 --> 00:29:38,245
Bang on.
462
00:29:41,715 --> 00:29:44,017
Me and Bill,
we're just here for a cup of tea.
463
00:29:44,484 --> 00:29:45,585
A nice brew.
464
00:29:50,190 --> 00:29:52,325
And maybe a little custard tart.
465
00:29:53,594 --> 00:29:55,162
[whimpers]
466
00:29:55,162 --> 00:29:58,298
[students chattering]
467
00:29:59,166 --> 00:30:00,334
All right, Dave?
468
00:30:00,334 --> 00:30:02,569
Oh, now then, Twiglet. Here you go.
469
00:30:06,406 --> 00:30:08,175
Hey, I thought it were a two day.
470
00:30:08,175 --> 00:30:10,944
Not according to the Chinese calendar.
471
00:30:11,412 --> 00:30:13,346
Built-in flexibility.
472
00:30:14,014 --> 00:30:16,550
And I see it's Chinese Year
of the Chocolate Cake.
473
00:30:16,550 --> 00:30:17,952
Can I have a bite?
474
00:30:17,952 --> 00:30:19,019
Help yourself.
475
00:30:21,054 --> 00:30:23,057
Though the pickled onions
have got my name on them.
476
00:30:23,057 --> 00:30:24,658
I love a pickled onion.
477
00:30:24,658 --> 00:30:26,226
You can watch.
478
00:30:28,028 --> 00:30:29,596
I thought you were school dinners.
479
00:30:30,531 --> 00:30:32,566
You forgot your money.
I can lend you some.
480
00:30:32,566 --> 00:30:33,667
I'm good.
481
00:30:36,436 --> 00:30:38,371
Someone's nicked your dinner money.
482
00:30:39,540 --> 00:30:41,174
I'm a mind-reader, me.
483
00:30:42,009 --> 00:30:44,178
- Who?
- Read my mind.
484
00:30:44,178 --> 00:30:47,481
Come on, Dean.
You can't let people steal off ya.
485
00:30:54,588 --> 00:30:55,622
Oh!
486
00:30:56,390 --> 00:30:57,657
Heaven.
487
00:31:03,096 --> 00:31:04,131
Names.
488
00:31:05,065 --> 00:31:06,333
I need names.
489
00:31:06,333 --> 00:31:08,535
It's bloody CSI Sheffield now, is it?
490
00:31:10,137 --> 00:31:13,340
Oh, you know what? These are unbelievable.
491
00:31:14,241 --> 00:31:16,009
Now come on. Spill.
492
00:31:16,543 --> 00:31:20,180
J-- JJ sometimes. Well, mostly.
493
00:31:20,781 --> 00:31:24,117
Lately, it's been that Schofield lass
with the hair and the piercings.
494
00:31:24,651 --> 00:31:27,154
- Destiny?
- Don't say owt.
495
00:31:27,154 --> 00:31:30,257
You're kidding me. I've known that toe-rag
since she were born.
496
00:31:31,091 --> 00:31:32,425
She should know better.
497
00:31:45,866 --> 00:31:49,169
[groans] All right, what have I done now?
498
00:31:49,703 --> 00:31:51,171
It's about Destiny.
499
00:31:51,171 --> 00:31:53,240
Here we go. What's she done now?
500
00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:54,608
She's bullying folk.
501
00:31:54,608 --> 00:31:56,510
Certainly scares the shit out of me.
502
00:31:56,510 --> 00:32:00,280
It's not funny, Gaz. Kids. Littl'uns.
503
00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:01,715
She's nicking their dinner money.
504
00:32:01,715 --> 00:32:04,150
She's a bugger sometimes, that girl.
Tell her not to.
505
00:32:04,618 --> 00:32:07,153
It's your bloody job to tell her not to.
You're her dad.
506
00:32:07,821 --> 00:32:10,624
Look, I'm just trying
to stop it going nuclear at school.
507
00:32:10,624 --> 00:32:12,426
Bullying's worse than murder these days.
508
00:32:12,426 --> 00:32:14,662
Dave, is it any of your business
what I tell my own daughter?
509
00:32:14,662 --> 00:32:18,232
Fine! Do fuck-all, as usual.
510
00:32:18,232 --> 00:32:20,701
- Message received.
- Good. My brew's getting cold.
511
00:32:20,701 --> 00:32:23,804
I just hope you don't wake up one day
and realise what you've missed.
512
00:32:23,804 --> 00:32:26,606
Fucking hell. I think I preferred it
when you weren't talking to me.
513
00:32:35,515 --> 00:32:36,616
[chattering]
514
00:32:41,388 --> 00:32:42,423
You all right?
515
00:32:42,423 --> 00:32:44,091
Gotcha! [chuckles]
516
00:32:44,091 --> 00:32:45,292
You took all your meds, Ant?
517
00:32:46,226 --> 00:32:47,394
Yeah.
518
00:32:47,394 --> 00:32:48,528
You know I'm gonna check.
519
00:32:48,996 --> 00:32:53,167
Cheeky bastard. I don't believe it.
520
00:32:53,167 --> 00:32:55,736
Dave unfriended me on Facebook!
521
00:32:55,736 --> 00:32:59,239
- A mate?
- Was. Blocked me!
522
00:32:59,239 --> 00:33:02,709
- What'd you say this time?
- What do you mean? Didn't say owt nothing.
523
00:33:03,877 --> 00:33:05,446
A few home truths maybe.
524
00:33:05,446 --> 00:33:07,681
Ooh, Gaz and his home truths.
525
00:33:07,681 --> 00:33:10,451
Thing about Dave is he's got no ambition.
526
00:33:10,451 --> 00:33:12,419
He's a lump, a lump going nowhere.
527
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:14,521
But I couldn't be happier.
528
00:33:14,521 --> 00:33:16,290
I'm not bothered.
529
00:33:16,290 --> 00:33:18,692
Does this look like the face
of a bothered man?
530
00:33:20,460 --> 00:33:22,396
I've seen less bothered.
531
00:33:22,396 --> 00:33:24,798
Would've unfriended him first,
but I'm not a petty little shit.
532
00:33:30,837 --> 00:33:32,339
[sighs]
533
00:33:34,641 --> 00:33:35,775
Thanks, love.
534
00:33:39,913 --> 00:33:41,681
Well, this is nice.
535
00:33:42,649 --> 00:33:45,085
Biscuit, anybody? Deano, would you?
536
00:33:47,454 --> 00:33:49,122
Two day.
537
00:33:50,490 --> 00:33:51,658
So
538
00:33:52,226 --> 00:33:56,630
- [sighs]
- Destiny's come to apologise. Haven't you?
539
00:33:57,798 --> 00:34:00,767
That's kind. Guess you had your reasons.
540
00:34:01,601 --> 00:34:04,271
Excuses aren't reasons.
541
00:34:05,906 --> 00:34:08,108
Anyway, love, thanks for coming.
542
00:34:08,742 --> 00:34:12,779
- He made me come.
- But you're still here. So
543
00:34:16,383 --> 00:34:18,652
My mum's boyfriend nicks
the twins' dinner money.
544
00:34:18,652 --> 00:34:20,754
For a laugh, to cause bother.
545
00:34:20,754 --> 00:34:22,690
I don't bloody know why.
546
00:34:22,690 --> 00:34:25,693
So, I give them my dinner money.
Otherwise, they wouldn't get any lunch.
547
00:34:25,693 --> 00:34:28,195
I take Twiglet's dinner money.
Otherwise, I won't get any lunch.
548
00:34:28,195 --> 00:34:31,598
And he raids the school kitchen.
Otherwise, he wouldn't have any lunch.
549
00:34:33,133 --> 00:34:34,401
At least everybody eats.
550
00:34:34,401 --> 00:34:39,340
Oh. Supply chain economics in a nutshell.
551
00:34:39,340 --> 00:34:42,776
And you did have your reasons.
I knew you would.
552
00:34:43,911 --> 00:34:47,781
It's just that, when I come across Dean
trying to kill himself
553
00:34:47,781 --> 00:34:49,749
by taking a whole load of my painkillers,
554
00:34:50,417 --> 00:34:54,254
I have to ask myself whether what's
trickle-down economics to you, love,
555
00:34:54,822 --> 00:34:56,590
is it just plain bullying to him?
556
00:34:57,391 --> 00:34:59,393
Hey, lad, that's not right.
557
00:34:59,393 --> 00:35:01,562
[sighs] Thanks, Mum.
558
00:35:01,562 --> 00:35:03,663
[Mrs Blakefield]
It's only the truth, love.
559
00:35:08,802 --> 00:35:12,539
[door opens, closes]
560
00:35:18,278 --> 00:35:19,312
[sighs]
561
00:35:22,482 --> 00:35:24,384
[clamouring]
562
00:35:26,420 --> 00:35:27,754
[laughing]
563
00:35:28,488 --> 00:35:30,156
[laughing]
564
00:35:41,501 --> 00:35:43,103
[sighs]
565
00:35:49,743 --> 00:35:54,415
Hello, Jean! Uh, it's, uh, Darren from
Excello Commercial about the flooding.
566
00:35:54,415 --> 00:35:59,320
Uh, personally, I'm a great believer
in the value of, uh, education,
567
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:00,888
uh, especially the arts.
568
00:36:00,888 --> 00:36:02,856
Uh, so it's a priority.
569
00:36:02,856 --> 00:36:08,629
Uh, so, I took this one to the very top,
um, well, G-Guy. [stammers]
570
00:36:08,629 --> 00:36:15,202
Unfortunately, it seems that art and
commerce are at odds on this one, Jean.
571
00:36:15,202 --> 00:36:18,305
It's not an insurance job.
572
00:36:18,939 --> 00:36:23,544
All of the repair costs are going to have
to come out of the overall school budget.
573
00:36:23,544 --> 00:36:26,780
Uh, apologies. Uh, bye.
574
00:36:28,515 --> 00:36:31,551
[students chattering]
575
00:36:37,324 --> 00:36:38,492
[Jean clears throat]
576
00:36:38,492 --> 00:36:39,626
Was coming to see you.
577
00:36:40,394 --> 00:36:42,162
I fixed quite a lot.
578
00:36:42,162 --> 00:36:45,332
You'd be amazed what you can do
with a squeegee and a hairdryer.
579
00:36:45,332 --> 00:36:47,468
But the electronic stuff, total write-off.
580
00:36:47,468 --> 00:36:48,535
But, look.
581
00:36:49,136 --> 00:36:52,072
With the insurance,
it's what we always wanted.
582
00:36:52,973 --> 00:36:55,376
We can do something amazing
with this new gear.
583
00:36:55,376 --> 00:36:58,245
- Yeah. Het--
- It's moved on like you'd never believe.
584
00:36:58,245 --> 00:37:00,247
These machines virtually play
their bloody selves.
585
00:37:00,247 --> 00:37:01,782
Yeah, Hetty, we can't.
586
00:37:01,782 --> 00:37:02,883
Can't what?
587
00:37:02,883 --> 00:37:05,285
We can't claim for it on insurance.
588
00:37:05,285 --> 00:37:08,622
Oh, right. So, we're just
a brass band then, are we?
589
00:37:08,622 --> 00:37:11,859
Uh, no, no.
Hetty, we can't afford anything.
590
00:37:11,859 --> 00:37:14,828
I've got plenty of sheet music
stacked up over the years. We'll be right.
591
00:37:14,828 --> 00:37:17,431
No, we can't afford anything.
592
00:37:17,431 --> 00:37:21,301
We-- We can't afford a music teacher.
593
00:37:22,869 --> 00:37:25,139
What do you mean?
594
00:37:25,139 --> 00:37:28,275
Well, because they're saying it's wear and
tear, we can't claim for it on insurance.
595
00:37:28,275 --> 00:37:30,244
It has to come out
of the maintenance budget.
596
00:37:30,244 --> 00:37:33,681
- Hang on. Jean, are you firing me?
- And we're already over-budget as it is.
597
00:37:33,681 --> 00:37:37,651
And the only place that I can find
that money is in the teaching budget.
598
00:37:37,651 --> 00:37:41,421
- And you have overspent again.
- Overspent?
599
00:37:42,522 --> 00:37:46,327
Oh, so, this is about a bit of wine
at the school concert again, is it?
600
00:37:46,327 --> 00:37:48,529
Uh, no, no, no.
Eh, not just a bit of wine. And--
601
00:37:48,529 --> 00:37:51,665
Physics: boring fucking equations.
602
00:37:51,665 --> 00:37:55,202
Geography: beardy buggers
with a high opinion of themselves.
603
00:37:55,202 --> 00:37:58,372
And don't get me started
on the chemistry wonks.
604
00:37:58,372 --> 00:37:59,873
Fire one of them.
605
00:37:59,873 --> 00:38:01,574
No, you won't do that, will ya?
606
00:38:02,208 --> 00:38:05,412
Not core curriculum, music, is it?
Dispensable.
607
00:38:05,412 --> 00:38:08,849
- Hetty.
- Surplus to educational requirements.
608
00:38:08,849 --> 00:38:12,286
- Hetty, please.
- I mean, who needs music, right?
609
00:38:12,286 --> 00:38:13,721
Hetty, I'm trying to--
610
00:38:13,721 --> 00:38:15,522
I'll tell you who,
Destiny Schofield for one.
611
00:38:16,056 --> 00:38:20,393
Ever seen her stay two hours after school
for a maths lesson? Have ya?
612
00:38:21,194 --> 00:38:22,896
Music talks, Jean!
613
00:38:22,896 --> 00:38:27,100
It speaks to the soul, to the soul
of people who can't do trigonometry,
614
00:38:27,601 --> 00:38:30,704
that don't give a flying fuck
that Caracas is the capital of--
615
00:38:32,706 --> 00:38:34,741
Where is it the fucking capital of?
616
00:38:35,475 --> 00:38:36,543
Venezuela.
617
00:38:36,543 --> 00:38:38,312
[Hetty] Thank you.
618
00:38:38,312 --> 00:38:40,914
Music saves lives, Jean.
619
00:38:40,914 --> 00:38:42,549
Hetty, please. Don't do this.
620
00:38:42,549 --> 00:38:44,818
Oh, you want me to make it easy for ya?
621
00:38:46,687 --> 00:38:51,591
To say, "Twenty-three years
devoted to this place. Hey, no problem."
622
00:38:52,159 --> 00:38:55,128
You know, Jean, I love this place.
623
00:38:57,130 --> 00:38:58,698
What else have I got, eh?
624
00:39:00,767 --> 00:39:03,437
Bottle-of-wine-a-night habit,
pizza out of a box,
625
00:39:03,437 --> 00:39:06,573
a demented mother who basically hates me,
and a daughter I never see.
626
00:39:07,507 --> 00:39:09,376
This place is my life.
627
00:39:10,377 --> 00:39:11,778
I'm so sorry.
628
00:39:12,212 --> 00:39:14,114
You're my friend.
629
00:39:20,821 --> 00:39:23,223
Hey, no problem.
630
00:39:36,603 --> 00:39:37,637
Dave?
631
00:39:42,609 --> 00:39:43,877
[sighs]
632
00:39:44,878 --> 00:39:47,280
I've just had to sack my best friend.
633
00:40:01,795 --> 00:40:02,829
[sighs]
634
00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:08,902
Put a bloody tracking device
in that thing, or what?
635
00:40:08,902 --> 00:40:10,804
Mind your bloody language.
636
00:40:10,804 --> 00:40:14,574
It's fate, kid,
telling you to get your arse in gear.
637
00:40:17,911 --> 00:40:20,581
[both panting]
638
00:40:20,581 --> 00:40:22,716
Dave, please. I'm begging.
639
00:40:23,583 --> 00:40:25,619
Oh, go on.
640
00:40:26,319 --> 00:40:28,655
[panting continues]
641
00:40:34,861 --> 00:40:36,196
[Dave clears throat]
642
00:40:37,130 --> 00:40:39,333
Why would anybody do that for fun?
643
00:40:39,333 --> 00:40:41,201
Yeah, you're not exactly built for speed.
644
00:40:41,201 --> 00:40:44,204
Yeah, well,
you're not exactly built for effort.
645
00:40:44,672 --> 00:40:46,540
Tug of war, that's more me. [chuckles]
646
00:40:46,540 --> 00:40:47,708
Telly watching's more me.
647
00:40:47,708 --> 00:40:48,775
[chuckles]
648
00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:54,581
Dean, lad--
649
00:40:54,581 --> 00:40:58,252
Here we go. Can we not talk about it?
650
00:40:58,252 --> 00:41:01,221
- Yeah, we do have to talk about it.
- Why?
651
00:41:01,221 --> 00:41:04,257
'Cause it says so on all telly programmes.
652
00:41:04,791 --> 00:41:05,859
Go on then.
653
00:41:08,161 --> 00:41:11,498
I were bullied at school and all,
you know, 'cause I were a big lad.
654
00:41:11,498 --> 00:41:14,635
One day, you turned around,
kicked them all to shit
655
00:41:14,635 --> 00:41:16,770
and became the most popular man
in Sheffield.
656
00:41:16,770 --> 00:41:19,807
You could try using less mouth
and more ears, you know?
657
00:41:19,807 --> 00:41:21,608
That's what my school report says.
658
00:41:22,843 --> 00:41:27,281
I stopped trying to fit in
with folk who were basically bastards
659
00:41:27,281 --> 00:41:30,117
and just started being myself.
660
00:41:30,117 --> 00:41:31,552
Played to my strengths.
661
00:41:31,552 --> 00:41:34,188
Well, what if
you don't have any strengths?
662
00:41:34,188 --> 00:41:35,723
You've got a superpower, kid.
663
00:41:35,723 --> 00:41:37,458
You're funny. You make folk laugh.
664
00:41:37,458 --> 00:41:39,660
Well, they laugh, and then they punch me.
665
00:41:39,660 --> 00:41:41,828
So, find the ones that don't.
666
00:41:42,496 --> 00:41:44,365
That's how you find your mates.
667
00:41:44,365 --> 00:41:45,532
You reckon?
668
00:41:45,532 --> 00:41:47,301
You've already got one mate.
669
00:41:47,301 --> 00:41:49,869
- Who?
- Me, you wazzock.
670
00:41:50,937 --> 00:41:52,505
You're all right for a fat bloke.
671
00:41:53,039 --> 00:41:56,176
And that there is how
you get yourself punched, my friend.
672
00:41:56,176 --> 00:41:57,477
I know. Just kidding.
673
00:41:58,078 --> 00:42:01,215
Come on, then.
Module two of the fitness programme.
674
00:42:01,215 --> 00:42:03,550
[groans] You've got to be kidding me.
675
00:42:03,550 --> 00:42:05,586
Mental Health Awareness.
676
00:42:05,586 --> 00:42:08,288
I'm gonna introduce you
to some right nutters.
677
00:42:11,358 --> 00:42:13,794
[typing]
678
00:42:13,794 --> 00:42:16,330
[Twiglet] I've done your personal details.
679
00:42:16,330 --> 00:42:18,298
So, you click here,
680
00:42:19,933 --> 00:42:22,936
get your photo up, share it here.
681
00:42:22,936 --> 00:42:24,605
That's your profile page set up.
682
00:42:24,605 --> 00:42:29,342
Bloody hell! Where'd you find him, Dave?
Kid's a genius.
683
00:42:29,810 --> 00:42:31,411
Lomper, get the lad a brownie.
684
00:42:31,411 --> 00:42:32,646
Ah, ta.
685
00:42:32,646 --> 00:42:34,481
So, uh, what else can you do on here?
686
00:42:34,481 --> 00:42:36,450
I can see
what porn websites you've been on.
687
00:42:36,450 --> 00:42:38,852
- [all laughing]
- [stammers]
688
00:42:38,852 --> 00:42:39,920
Just kidding.
689
00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:42,055
Lomper, cancel the brownie.
690
00:42:42,055 --> 00:42:46,426
[chattering, laughing]
691
00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:55,802
[door opens]
692
00:42:59,773 --> 00:43:00,773
[Dave pants]
693
00:43:02,709 --> 00:43:05,979
I think I've pulled summat in a place
where I didn't know there was owt to pull.
694
00:43:05,979 --> 00:43:07,314
Mmm.
695
00:43:07,314 --> 00:43:08,982
Can't carry on like this, Dave.
696
00:43:10,483 --> 00:43:11,684
Carry on like what?
697
00:43:14,120 --> 00:43:15,422
You and Twiglet.
698
00:43:15,422 --> 00:43:16,924
Bit of keep fit. What's wrong with that?
699
00:43:16,924 --> 00:43:19,393
People are talking at school.
700
00:43:19,393 --> 00:43:21,261
Well, they can talk all they like.
701
00:43:21,829 --> 00:43:24,865
He helps out a bit, that's all. Likes it.
702
00:43:24,865 --> 00:43:27,367
There's not a lot else he likes.
I can tell you that.
703
00:43:28,101 --> 00:43:30,771
Isn't that what education's all about?
Encouraging folk.
704
00:43:30,771 --> 00:43:32,539
You're always going on about it.
705
00:43:32,539 --> 00:43:34,508
That's not really the point.
706
00:43:34,508 --> 00:43:36,577
You're not his dad, Dave.
707
00:43:36,577 --> 00:43:38,711
Well, somebody's got to look out for him.
708
00:43:39,345 --> 00:43:43,083
You said you were sorting it,
him being bullied by JJ. Did you?
709
00:43:43,083 --> 00:43:45,319
- Well, we--
- No, you didn't.
710
00:43:45,319 --> 00:43:48,888
'Cause if you did, you'd have found out
he only tried to top himself, didn't he?
711
00:43:50,023 --> 00:43:51,958
Overdose. Last week.
712
00:43:52,526 --> 00:43:56,597
A 12-year-old kid at our school.
713
00:43:56,597 --> 00:43:59,633
We should be ashamed, Jeanie.
I am ashamed.
714
00:43:59,633 --> 00:44:02,903
Oh, Dave. Is he all right?
715
00:44:02,903 --> 00:44:04,538
As it happens, yes.
716
00:44:04,538 --> 00:44:06,306
I didn't know.
717
00:44:06,306 --> 00:44:08,842
Well, he hardly wants it headline news,
does he? Poor lad.
718
00:44:08,842 --> 00:44:10,644
No, but there are things we can do.
719
00:44:10,644 --> 00:44:12,713
There are things
that we can put in place for him.
720
00:44:12,713 --> 00:44:16,717
He doesn't want things put in place.
He's all right.
721
00:44:16,717 --> 00:44:19,052
We have a laugh, me and him.
A chat, you know?
722
00:44:19,052 --> 00:44:20,453
Is that so wrong?
723
00:44:22,055 --> 00:44:23,656
I'm going for a shower.
724
00:44:28,461 --> 00:44:31,698
- [pop music playing on speakers]
- [Brian humming]
725
00:44:38,939 --> 00:44:40,974
[humming continues]
726
00:44:55,388 --> 00:44:58,458
["Gotta Be Unforgettable"
playing on radio]
727
00:44:58,458 --> 00:44:59,659
[engine starts]
728
00:45:05,632 --> 00:45:07,434
Whoa, wait! Whoa!
729
00:45:07,434 --> 00:45:09,336
[shouting]
730
00:45:09,336 --> 00:45:10,904
What are you doing? Hey!
731
00:45:10,904 --> 00:45:12,072
[grunts]
732
00:45:12,072 --> 00:45:13,573
- [Brian] Stop it!
- [grunts]
733
00:45:14,474 --> 00:45:15,876
Fucking thief.
734
00:45:15,876 --> 00:45:17,811
What? [sighs]
735
00:45:23,450 --> 00:45:25,485
[students chattering]
736
00:45:30,490 --> 00:45:32,559
Dean. You all right?
737
00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:35,496
What happened to being a man of your word?
738
00:45:35,496 --> 00:45:37,997
They came round. Social services.
739
00:45:38,398 --> 00:45:40,567
- Did they?
- Like you don't know.
740
00:45:40,567 --> 00:45:42,569
They found out my mum's going in hospital,
741
00:45:42,569 --> 00:45:44,905
so they're putting me in a care home
till she gets out.
742
00:45:44,905 --> 00:45:47,040
So, thanks for that, Mr Horsfall.
743
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:48,709
Oh, Dean, I'm sorry.
744
00:45:48,709 --> 00:45:51,345
I-I said summat to Jean--
to, uh, Mrs Horsfall,
745
00:45:51,345 --> 00:45:52,813
but I didn't know. I didn't--
746
00:45:52,813 --> 00:45:55,549
- Who's gonna water her plants now, eh?
- Well, I could.
747
00:45:55,549 --> 00:45:57,784
I'd rather they bloody died.
748
00:46:07,894 --> 00:46:10,330
[sighs] Fuck's sake.
749
00:46:15,635 --> 00:46:17,270
Excuse me. Destiny.
750
00:46:21,675 --> 00:46:22,709
Destiny!
751
00:46:28,048 --> 00:46:30,350
[teacher] Just watch how I solve this.
752
00:47:08,488 --> 00:47:09,522
[door unlocks]
753
00:47:14,961 --> 00:47:17,430
Oh, God.
754
00:47:17,898 --> 00:47:20,801
[sighs] What a day.
755
00:47:20,801 --> 00:47:23,871
I told you about Dean in confidence.
756
00:47:23,871 --> 00:47:26,073
They're taking him into care.
757
00:47:26,073 --> 00:47:29,709
Well, it's only temporary.
It's a safeguarding issue.
758
00:47:31,478 --> 00:47:35,182
I'm a head teacher, Dave.
I couldn't ignore what you told me.
759
00:47:35,182 --> 00:47:36,883
Like it or not, it's the law.
760
00:47:37,851 --> 00:47:39,586
But you did like it.
761
00:47:39,586 --> 00:47:41,747
Well, what's that supposed to mean?
762
00:47:44,591 --> 00:47:45,992
I'll be in garden.
763
00:47:46,860 --> 00:47:50,263
Oh, that's right,
walk off like you always do.
764
00:47:51,698 --> 00:47:52,732
[door closes]
765
00:48:08,715 --> 00:48:10,551
Going to my mum's.
766
00:48:10,551 --> 00:48:14,054
She needs some help hanging curtains.
I'm gonna stay the night.
767
00:48:14,054 --> 00:48:16,623
You're queen bee
to nigh on a thousand kids,
768
00:48:16,623 --> 00:48:18,825
and you couldn't let me
look after just one, could you?
769
00:48:35,342 --> 00:48:36,810
I try to talk to him.
770
00:48:37,411 --> 00:48:41,314
But all he ever says is,
"Oh, I'll be in the garden."
771
00:48:41,882 --> 00:48:43,750
And that's it.
772
00:48:43,750 --> 00:48:48,555
The limit of his ability to talk about
anything, his bloody hedge.
773
00:48:49,990 --> 00:48:51,324
All right, there you go.
774
00:48:53,059 --> 00:48:54,394
Oh, look at that.
775
00:48:57,130 --> 00:48:58,331
Perfect.
776
00:49:05,105 --> 00:49:07,407
- [child 1] You can't do that.
- [child 2] Yeah, I can.
777
00:49:07,407 --> 00:49:08,975
[children chattering, laughing]
778
00:49:09,776 --> 00:49:12,378
- [child 3] Get it!
- [children cheer]
779
00:49:13,947 --> 00:49:16,082
You've not made much of a dent in that.
780
00:49:17,117 --> 00:49:18,852
- Pickled onion?
- No, ta.
781
00:49:18,852 --> 00:49:24,724
[children chattering, cheering]