1 00:00:24,186 --> 00:00:26,388 [crowd cheering] 2 00:00:30,352 --> 00:00:32,720 Come on, blue team. Let's go, let's go, let's go. 3 00:00:34,456 --> 00:00:36,892 Left, left, left, right, left. 4 00:00:36,892 --> 00:00:38,393 - Come on. - [Dave panting] 5 00:00:38,393 --> 00:00:39,461 [crowd cheering] 6 00:00:39,461 --> 00:00:40,595 Come on. 7 00:00:41,663 --> 00:00:43,065 This way, boys. 8 00:00:43,065 --> 00:00:45,400 That's it, keep going, guys. [panting] 9 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:48,970 - [Dilip] Here we go. Nearly there. - [cheering continues] 10 00:01:03,652 --> 00:01:05,020 [Dilip] Blakefield! 11 00:01:05,020 --> 00:01:07,689 Come on, son. One step in front of the other. 12 00:01:07,689 --> 00:01:09,525 - [panting] - [Dilip] Let's go. 13 00:01:09,525 --> 00:01:10,658 Who dares wins. 14 00:01:12,394 --> 00:01:13,495 [panting] 15 00:01:13,495 --> 00:01:15,397 [panting continues] 16 00:01:15,397 --> 00:01:17,632 [groans] Hang on, gang. 17 00:01:18,833 --> 00:01:20,969 - [crowd chattering] - [person] What a hero! 18 00:01:20,969 --> 00:01:22,638 [sighs, panting] 19 00:01:22,638 --> 00:01:24,806 One way or another, we've got to get you home, Dean. 20 00:01:24,806 --> 00:01:26,341 Helicopter ambulance? 21 00:01:26,341 --> 00:01:27,809 [scoffs] In your dreams. 22 00:01:27,809 --> 00:01:29,378 They don't want me. 23 00:01:29,378 --> 00:01:31,313 Well, more fool them. 24 00:01:31,313 --> 00:01:35,750 - I have got some secret rations. - You do? 25 00:01:36,985 --> 00:01:39,087 If you get on board the canoe. Come on. 26 00:01:39,087 --> 00:01:41,590 - I'll bring him in the red team. - Copy that. 27 00:01:41,590 --> 00:01:42,958 Go, go, go! 28 00:01:42,958 --> 00:01:44,726 [parent] Come on, son. Come on, Twiglet. 29 00:01:44,726 --> 00:01:46,028 [Dilip] Here we go. 30 00:01:46,028 --> 00:01:48,329 - [crowd cheering] - Nice and steady. 31 00:01:49,063 --> 00:01:51,833 - Two, three. - [cheering continues] 32 00:01:54,402 --> 00:01:55,603 Come on. 33 00:01:58,607 --> 00:02:00,442 Okay, come on. In your teams. 34 00:02:00,442 --> 00:02:02,444 [student] We'd have won if it hadn't been for him. 35 00:02:02,444 --> 00:02:04,446 Remember the Marine Corps motto, Lola. 36 00:02:04,446 --> 00:02:06,548 "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" 37 00:02:06,548 --> 00:02:08,650 No. "No man left behind." 38 00:02:09,150 --> 00:02:10,652 We're a good team. 39 00:02:10,652 --> 00:02:11,854 That's what counts. 40 00:02:11,854 --> 00:02:13,322 Caring for folk. 41 00:02:13,322 --> 00:02:14,923 Much more important than winning. 42 00:02:14,923 --> 00:02:17,392 Right, come on then, blue team. Big cheer. 43 00:02:17,392 --> 00:02:19,394 - [cheers] - [Jean] Yay! 44 00:02:19,394 --> 00:02:20,796 Lovely. 45 00:02:20,796 --> 00:02:21,864 Red team? 46 00:02:21,864 --> 00:02:24,533 - Yay. - Oh. 47 00:02:24,533 --> 00:02:27,669 What about another photo of the winning team with the cup, Mrs Horsfall? 48 00:02:30,138 --> 00:02:32,640 How about a photo of the caring team? 49 00:02:38,847 --> 00:02:40,482 [Dave, Dilip] Jeanie? 50 00:02:54,029 --> 00:02:55,864 - [shouts] - [crowd gasp] 51 00:02:57,933 --> 00:02:58,967 [shouts] 52 00:02:58,967 --> 00:03:00,468 [crowd chuckling] 53 00:03:06,408 --> 00:03:07,609 [phone rings] 54 00:03:08,410 --> 00:03:09,878 Dave, can I call you back? 55 00:03:09,878 --> 00:03:11,680 I need a chocolate cake. 56 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:12,747 What? 57 00:03:13,114 --> 00:03:15,317 I need a chocolate cake. 58 00:03:15,317 --> 00:03:16,417 A big 'un. 59 00:03:16,918 --> 00:03:17,919 Well, go and get one. 60 00:03:18,420 --> 00:03:19,788 [Dave] I can't. 61 00:03:21,590 --> 00:03:22,724 Can you? [sighs] 62 00:03:22,724 --> 00:03:23,958 [Gaz] Dave, I'm working. 63 00:03:26,728 --> 00:03:28,630 J-Jean's having an affair. 64 00:03:31,032 --> 00:03:32,066 What? 65 00:03:33,134 --> 00:03:34,335 You heard. 66 00:03:35,837 --> 00:03:37,305 Do you want squirty cream? 67 00:03:38,773 --> 00:03:40,742 Yeah. [sighs] 68 00:03:42,444 --> 00:03:43,778 Here, kid. Kid. 69 00:03:44,212 --> 00:03:48,383 Stand there, hold this like this, and you won't get run over, all right? 70 00:03:50,619 --> 00:03:51,653 Safe as houses. 71 00:03:54,589 --> 00:03:58,727 The nurse says they're not gonna fit you with a pacemaker 72 00:03:58,727 --> 00:04:01,029 until you've got a bit of meat on you. 73 00:04:01,696 --> 00:04:02,764 So 74 00:04:04,132 --> 00:04:05,333 [speaks French] 75 00:04:07,068 --> 00:04:09,070 - What's that? - It's tripe, love. 76 00:04:10,438 --> 00:04:11,473 What's-- What's tripe? 77 00:04:11,907 --> 00:04:13,308 Cow's stomach. 78 00:04:13,809 --> 00:04:16,912 Well, cow's second stomach, apparently. It's more tasty. 79 00:04:16,912 --> 00:04:18,514 Best thing for an invalid. 80 00:04:18,514 --> 00:04:20,616 My mum always used to give me that when I was sick. 81 00:04:20,616 --> 00:04:21,749 Go on, tuck in. 82 00:04:22,951 --> 00:04:25,687 Malnutrition in this day and age. 83 00:04:26,321 --> 00:04:29,525 It's not done that dicky ticker of yours any favours, either. 84 00:04:29,525 --> 00:04:32,027 [scoffs] That's very kind of you, Dennis, 85 00:04:32,027 --> 00:04:35,364 but I was thinking more, you know, bacon sarnie. 86 00:04:35,364 --> 00:04:36,698 I have food. 87 00:04:36,698 --> 00:04:39,634 - [Dennis, Lomper] Uh, no, no, no, no. - Oh. 88 00:04:40,102 --> 00:04:41,870 Lovely, kid. That's great. 89 00:04:42,271 --> 00:04:43,939 Very reviving for Mr Horse. 90 00:04:43,939 --> 00:04:45,841 MSC, we've discussed this. 91 00:04:45,841 --> 00:04:47,642 [groaning] 92 00:04:49,444 --> 00:04:50,512 [speaks Korean] 93 00:04:50,980 --> 00:04:53,582 They feed 'em to invalids in his bit of Korea. 94 00:04:53,582 --> 00:04:55,750 [stammers] Apparently, it's very nutritious. 95 00:04:56,251 --> 00:04:57,952 He had them flown over, especially. 96 00:04:58,620 --> 00:05:00,756 - Oh, especially for me? - [Lomper] Mmm. 97 00:05:00,756 --> 00:05:02,824 For you. Very rare. 98 00:05:04,059 --> 00:05:05,426 Oh, God. 99 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:07,563 All the way from Korea, eh? 100 00:05:07,563 --> 00:05:09,097 Do you know what? 101 00:05:09,097 --> 00:05:12,868 The tripe looks a lot more appealing than you'd think. 102 00:05:12,868 --> 00:05:14,670 Well, maybe just try one, you know? 103 00:05:14,670 --> 00:05:16,405 See what it's like. Make him happy. 104 00:05:16,405 --> 00:05:18,774 Well, why don't you try it and make him happy? 105 00:05:18,774 --> 00:05:20,842 Uh, he definitely got them for you, Horse. 106 00:05:21,510 --> 00:05:23,878 [scoffs] Sorry, mate, I don't think I-- 107 00:05:24,613 --> 00:05:26,481 [groaning] 108 00:05:26,481 --> 00:05:27,615 Here. 109 00:05:33,555 --> 00:05:34,989 Wh-What's it like? 110 00:05:35,924 --> 00:05:36,958 It's, um 111 00:05:40,562 --> 00:05:41,996 It's quite nice, actually. 112 00:05:43,031 --> 00:05:44,065 Not bad. 113 00:05:45,734 --> 00:05:46,801 Yeah, go on. 114 00:05:49,838 --> 00:05:50,872 Mmm. 115 00:05:55,777 --> 00:05:56,811 Say when. 116 00:05:58,747 --> 00:06:01,583 What about your arteries? Your heart? 117 00:06:01,583 --> 00:06:02,917 Already broken. 118 00:06:06,488 --> 00:06:08,523 - [grunts] - Might be death by chocolate for nothing. 119 00:06:09,324 --> 00:06:11,059 I mean, where's the proof? 120 00:06:12,027 --> 00:06:14,062 He called her "Jeanie". 121 00:06:16,398 --> 00:06:17,699 That's it? 122 00:06:17,699 --> 00:06:19,701 I abandoned my post for that? 123 00:06:20,169 --> 00:06:21,970 Jeanie's my pet name for her. 124 00:06:21,970 --> 00:06:23,304 It doesn't prove anything. 125 00:06:24,005 --> 00:06:27,308 Well, in school, in the corridor, I saw them hugging. 126 00:06:28,710 --> 00:06:29,711 Fifty-fifty. 127 00:06:30,712 --> 00:06:32,347 Every bugger's hugging these days. 128 00:06:32,347 --> 00:06:34,349 And then she legs it in front of half the school, 129 00:06:34,349 --> 00:06:36,551 and now she's not answering her phone. 130 00:06:36,952 --> 00:06:38,720 - Conclusive. - [Gaz] "Conclusive." 131 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:41,856 We are gonna do some proper evidence gathering. Get ready. 132 00:06:43,859 --> 00:06:44,893 - Come on. - [groans] 133 00:06:51,633 --> 00:06:58,006 [Destiny] Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay ♪ 134 00:06:58,006 --> 00:07:00,876 ♪ You'll find me in the type Of gaff you pin on Snapchat ♪ 135 00:07:00,876 --> 00:07:02,711 Yeah, she got a buzz ♪ 136 00:07:02,711 --> 00:07:04,847 ♪ Crib got two fridges A hot tub to relax ♪ 137 00:07:04,847 --> 00:07:07,950 ♪ No humble abode, just humble brags In my pink fluffy bedroom ♪ 138 00:07:07,950 --> 00:07:09,484 Fairy light kind of habitat ♪ 139 00:07:09,484 --> 00:07:11,587 Good vibes, nice and relaxed ♪ 140 00:07:11,587 --> 00:07:14,756 ♪ As I swipe through my iPad, Like and subscribe to that ♪ 141 00:07:14,756 --> 00:07:16,091 Whoa. 142 00:07:16,091 --> 00:07:18,694 Pink bedroom and a bloody hot tub? 143 00:07:18,694 --> 00:07:20,362 Who lives in that gaff? 144 00:07:20,362 --> 00:07:23,031 They want a piece about you. Your life. 145 00:07:23,031 --> 00:07:25,801 Yeah, right. If I give them me, I'll have no chance, will I? 146 00:07:25,801 --> 00:07:28,804 Council estate, criminal record, and less GCSE's than the school hamster. 147 00:07:28,804 --> 00:07:30,639 Not giving them that shit. 148 00:07:30,639 --> 00:07:32,508 In this case, that old shit's gonna get you into college. 149 00:07:32,508 --> 00:07:35,610 That's the grit that makes you the pearl, love. 150 00:07:36,111 --> 00:07:38,614 I wish I'd had your talent when I was in a band. 151 00:07:38,614 --> 00:07:41,850 [squawks] That's what she sounded like. 152 00:07:42,584 --> 00:07:44,386 Thank you, Mother. 153 00:07:44,386 --> 00:07:46,955 Well, she weren't good enough. That's why she never got anywhere. 154 00:07:46,955 --> 00:07:48,757 We're trying to rehearse here, Mother. 155 00:07:48,757 --> 00:07:50,292 Yeah, well, this doodah won't work. 156 00:07:50,292 --> 00:07:52,260 - It won't turn over. - [phone buzzing] 157 00:07:52,994 --> 00:07:54,996 [buzzing continues] 158 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:01,303 Hiya, Des. Sorry, love, you're-- You're gonna have to get the bus. 159 00:08:01,303 --> 00:08:02,771 Yeah, but I've got my keyboard. 160 00:08:02,771 --> 00:08:04,940 [groans] Would you just leave it there? 161 00:08:04,940 --> 00:08:07,109 We can pick it up tomorrow before the audition. 162 00:08:07,109 --> 00:08:08,343 All right? 163 00:08:09,411 --> 00:08:11,412 Got a bit of a situation on here. 164 00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:13,848 Mom, you don't need to throw cushions at him. 165 00:08:15,050 --> 00:08:16,317 Here you are. 166 00:08:16,885 --> 00:08:19,387 She's taken against the Dark Destroyer. Didn't like his hair. 167 00:08:20,522 --> 00:08:21,556 You all right? 168 00:08:21,957 --> 00:08:23,691 My dad's just sacked me off. 169 00:08:24,359 --> 00:08:26,495 He says he's gotta stay with Dave 170 00:08:26,495 --> 00:08:29,398 'cause he just found out Mrs Horsfall's been having it off with Dishy Dilip. 171 00:08:29,398 --> 00:08:30,899 I'm sorry? 172 00:08:31,700 --> 00:08:32,835 It's what my dad said. 173 00:08:32,835 --> 00:08:34,570 Mrs Horsfall? Dilip? 174 00:08:34,570 --> 00:08:36,571 Yeah. Pretty messy, right? 175 00:08:39,574 --> 00:08:40,608 You gotta go, love. 176 00:08:41,042 --> 00:08:43,344 Uh, we'll sort your keyboard out later. 177 00:08:45,614 --> 00:08:46,981 Let's get your coat, Mother. 178 00:08:48,917 --> 00:08:49,951 We're going out. 179 00:08:58,426 --> 00:08:59,728 [sighs] 180 00:08:59,728 --> 00:09:01,497 [doorbell chiming] 181 00:09:01,497 --> 00:09:02,931 [scoffs] Tosser. 182 00:09:02,931 --> 00:09:04,399 It's a doorbell. 183 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,401 Innocent until proven guilty. 184 00:09:06,401 --> 00:09:07,803 Now, don't say anything. 185 00:09:07,803 --> 00:09:09,370 I'll handle this, all right? 186 00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:14,676 Well, you've got a bloody cheek after pushing me in that lake. 187 00:09:14,676 --> 00:09:16,912 - I hope your phone's fucked. - What did I just say? 188 00:09:16,912 --> 00:09:19,715 Actually, my phone is waterproof. Up to ten metres. 189 00:09:19,715 --> 00:09:21,483 Will it survive me ramming it up your arse? 190 00:09:21,483 --> 00:09:22,684 Dave, we agreed. 191 00:09:24,753 --> 00:09:25,787 Good afternoon. 192 00:09:26,888 --> 00:09:28,657 Apologies for my mad friend here, 193 00:09:28,657 --> 00:09:32,461 but for some reason, he's under the mistaken impression 194 00:09:32,461 --> 00:09:37,398 that you and his wife have been having carnal relations. 195 00:09:38,333 --> 00:09:39,367 Jean. 196 00:09:39,768 --> 00:09:40,802 And you. 197 00:09:41,670 --> 00:09:44,372 Ridiculous, I know. [chuckles] 198 00:09:45,674 --> 00:09:48,910 [scoffs] I-I-I mean, I told him that there's no way. 199 00:09:49,378 --> 00:09:51,380 I mean, ne-- never in a million-- 200 00:09:51,380 --> 00:09:53,348 For fuck's sake, set him straight, will ya? 201 00:09:59,521 --> 00:10:01,089 We're in love. 202 00:10:01,089 --> 00:10:03,391 - You-- Get back here. Back here, you. - Hey, hey. Hey, hey. 203 00:10:05,962 --> 00:10:07,430 [car honks] 204 00:10:07,430 --> 00:10:09,299 - [Dave] How long's it been going on? - [Gaz] Geez. 205 00:10:09,299 --> 00:10:11,367 Can we leave the third degree till you're not gonna kill us? 206 00:10:11,367 --> 00:10:12,968 Have you been in my house? 207 00:10:13,769 --> 00:10:15,572 Don't you shrug at me. 208 00:10:15,572 --> 00:10:17,373 You know this is virtually kidnapping? 209 00:10:17,373 --> 00:10:20,343 Answer the question. Have you had sex with my wife in my bed? 210 00:10:20,343 --> 00:10:22,612 Jesus. Nought to fucking 60 there, Dave. 211 00:10:22,612 --> 00:10:24,047 - Have you? - No. 212 00:10:24,047 --> 00:10:26,482 Have you had sex with my wife in my kitchen? 213 00:10:26,482 --> 00:10:28,551 Please tell me we're not going round the whole house. 214 00:10:28,551 --> 00:10:29,986 No. 215 00:10:29,986 --> 00:10:33,022 Have you had sex with my wife in-- on my stairs? 216 00:10:33,022 --> 00:10:34,591 Course he hasn't, mate. 217 00:10:34,591 --> 00:10:37,560 - The stairs? Think of your back. - [car honks] 218 00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:38,894 Sofa? 219 00:10:41,831 --> 00:10:43,700 Oh, I knew it. 220 00:10:43,700 --> 00:10:46,735 I'm not even allowed to sit on that sofa in my work gear and eat-- 221 00:10:47,436 --> 00:10:48,471 How many times? 222 00:10:52,008 --> 00:10:54,477 Oh. God. 223 00:10:59,649 --> 00:11:01,918 - [Hetty's mom] Where's the cafe? - There isn't one. 224 00:11:01,918 --> 00:11:03,719 Oh, what's the bloody point, then? 225 00:11:05,488 --> 00:11:07,022 [Hetty] Knew I'd find you here. 226 00:11:08,691 --> 00:11:10,627 Lovely Jean. 227 00:11:10,627 --> 00:11:12,562 'Ey up, chicken, Jean. 228 00:11:12,562 --> 00:11:14,430 The daily woman's dragging me all up here. 229 00:11:14,430 --> 00:11:17,634 God knows why, but she needs the exercise. Right? 230 00:11:17,634 --> 00:11:19,335 Come on, Mother. Park yourself. 231 00:11:19,335 --> 00:11:20,836 On that dirty bench? 232 00:11:22,705 --> 00:11:23,739 Right. 233 00:11:25,474 --> 00:11:28,378 - Sit here and admire the view. - Okay. 234 00:11:28,378 --> 00:11:30,679 - Jean and I are just having a little chat. - [Hetty's mom sighs] 235 00:11:31,147 --> 00:11:32,348 So 236 00:11:34,917 --> 00:11:37,086 - You heard. - Oh, yeah, I heard. 237 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:39,555 It's awful, Hetty. 238 00:11:39,989 --> 00:11:41,090 I feel so guilty. 239 00:11:41,090 --> 00:11:42,792 I don't know what I'm gonna do. 240 00:11:42,792 --> 00:11:45,427 And you're expecting sympathy? From me? 241 00:11:45,895 --> 00:11:48,865 - Well, I was-- - There's selfish, and then there's you. 242 00:11:48,865 --> 00:11:50,767 You're in a different league, Jean. 243 00:11:50,767 --> 00:11:53,303 Olympic standard selfish bitch. 244 00:11:53,303 --> 00:11:55,538 - You what? - It had to be Dilip, didn't it? 245 00:11:55,538 --> 00:11:57,907 The one bloke I fancied, and it had to be him. 246 00:11:57,907 --> 00:11:59,108 Oh, come on. 247 00:11:59,108 --> 00:12:01,110 We're not in the playground anymore. 248 00:12:01,110 --> 00:12:02,645 You can't just bags someone. 249 00:12:02,645 --> 00:12:04,747 You'd already bagsed Dave! 250 00:12:05,215 --> 00:12:07,951 - Your husband. - Do you think I've been happy? 251 00:12:07,951 --> 00:12:09,919 What's that got to do with anything? 252 00:12:10,387 --> 00:12:12,555 You're married. I'm single. 253 00:12:12,555 --> 00:12:13,656 My bloody shout. 254 00:12:13,656 --> 00:12:15,658 Oh, grow up. 255 00:12:15,658 --> 00:12:19,629 And for your information, all that smutty innuendo you throw at Dilip, you-- 256 00:12:19,629 --> 00:12:21,397 You're not his type. 257 00:12:21,397 --> 00:12:22,632 You never were. 258 00:12:22,632 --> 00:12:24,734 Yeah, he goes for the married type. 259 00:12:24,734 --> 00:12:26,035 I get it now. 260 00:12:26,035 --> 00:12:28,037 And you're fool enough to fall for it. 261 00:12:29,005 --> 00:12:31,608 No thought for Dave, right? 262 00:12:31,608 --> 00:12:33,008 Of all people. 263 00:12:34,076 --> 00:12:35,377 Poor man. 264 00:12:37,613 --> 00:12:39,915 You don't know what our life has been like. 265 00:12:40,917 --> 00:12:42,485 So thanks for the lecture, Hetty-- 266 00:12:42,485 --> 00:12:43,519 Where has she gone? 267 00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:59,368 [Dave] There's her car. I knew it. 268 00:13:11,814 --> 00:13:13,316 Frenemy's here. 269 00:13:13,316 --> 00:13:14,918 - Who? - Hetty. 270 00:13:14,918 --> 00:13:15,985 Music teacher. 271 00:13:16,619 --> 00:13:17,620 Jean sacked her. 272 00:13:18,188 --> 00:13:19,923 Having a good run, your Jean, ain't she? 273 00:13:19,923 --> 00:13:21,657 It's not my Jean, apparently. 274 00:13:22,859 --> 00:13:23,993 Come on. 275 00:13:27,430 --> 00:13:28,597 [Hetty] Mum! 276 00:13:30,333 --> 00:13:31,367 Mum! 277 00:13:33,336 --> 00:13:35,037 - [Jean] Margaret! - Mum! 278 00:13:36,105 --> 00:13:37,306 Margaret. 279 00:13:38,875 --> 00:13:39,909 [sighs] 280 00:13:40,910 --> 00:13:43,479 Het. Hetty. 281 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:46,348 Can you carry Tallulah for a bit? [pants] 282 00:13:47,083 --> 00:13:48,952 Tell you what. 283 00:13:48,952 --> 00:13:51,354 When you stop wrecking my life, I'll start carrying your handbag. 284 00:13:51,354 --> 00:13:52,588 Sound fair? 285 00:13:54,056 --> 00:13:55,257 Mum! 286 00:13:56,392 --> 00:13:58,260 [Jean] Margaret! 287 00:13:58,895 --> 00:13:59,929 [Hetty] Mum! 288 00:14:11,107 --> 00:14:12,308 [sighs] 289 00:14:13,509 --> 00:14:15,044 You want a moment, Dave? 290 00:14:15,044 --> 00:14:16,879 Nah, it's only a bench. 291 00:14:20,650 --> 00:14:22,452 Here. Don't sit on that, pal. 292 00:14:22,452 --> 00:14:25,354 - Dave's bench. - How can it be "his"? It's a bench. 293 00:14:33,829 --> 00:14:37,633 Oh, God. I didn't know. Jean never said-- 294 00:14:38,968 --> 00:14:40,769 There's a lot you don't know, pal. 295 00:14:43,773 --> 00:14:44,807 I'm sorry. 296 00:14:57,720 --> 00:14:59,488 - What's up? - Nothing. 297 00:15:02,692 --> 00:15:03,859 The rehearsal were rubbish. 298 00:15:04,527 --> 00:15:05,595 It's just nerves. 299 00:15:05,595 --> 00:15:06,763 It'll go great tomorrow. 300 00:15:06,763 --> 00:15:08,298 I'm not going. 301 00:15:08,298 --> 00:15:09,399 [Cal] Of course you are. 302 00:15:09,399 --> 00:15:11,601 Nah. There's no point. 303 00:15:11,601 --> 00:15:12,968 You can't just not go. 304 00:15:13,703 --> 00:15:15,004 Can if I want. 305 00:15:15,004 --> 00:15:16,539 Don't be a wanker, Destiny. 306 00:15:17,773 --> 00:15:19,042 Spicy. 307 00:15:19,042 --> 00:15:20,810 Yeah, and what's it to you? 308 00:15:20,810 --> 00:15:22,545 You love music. 309 00:15:23,913 --> 00:15:24,947 Nuh-uh. 310 00:15:27,483 --> 00:15:29,819 - I got better things to do. - Like what? 311 00:15:30,987 --> 00:15:33,055 Come on. I'll show ya. 312 00:15:33,589 --> 00:15:35,424 - No. - Definitely not. 313 00:15:36,926 --> 00:15:37,960 [Cal] Don't. 314 00:15:43,766 --> 00:15:46,769 [sighs] Wait up. 315 00:15:46,769 --> 00:15:48,037 Mum! 316 00:15:49,739 --> 00:15:50,773 Margaret! 317 00:15:50,773 --> 00:15:52,375 Come on, Tallulah. Do your poos. 318 00:15:52,375 --> 00:15:53,710 Poo-poo, poo-poo. 319 00:15:53,710 --> 00:15:55,545 - Margaret! - Oh, you're putting her off. 320 00:15:55,545 --> 00:15:57,714 She can't do her business while you're yelling like that. 321 00:15:57,714 --> 00:15:59,415 She needs to feel comfortable. 322 00:15:59,415 --> 00:16:02,919 Who brings a constipated canine pan scrubber on a manhunt? 323 00:16:02,919 --> 00:16:06,856 Says the woman who dragged her mother to a forest in the middle of bloody nowhere. 324 00:16:06,856 --> 00:16:09,659 You don't get to tell me where I take her. 325 00:16:09,659 --> 00:16:12,095 And you don't get to stick your nose into my sex life. 326 00:16:12,095 --> 00:16:13,997 It was supposed to be my sex life! 327 00:16:13,997 --> 00:16:15,665 Oh, get in the real world. 328 00:16:15,665 --> 00:16:17,500 [Hetty] Do you know what, Jean? 329 00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:20,803 In the real world, everything I've wanted, you've always took. 330 00:16:20,803 --> 00:16:23,473 Remember when I said I was going for deputy head? 331 00:16:23,473 --> 00:16:26,109 And who fucking applied for it and got the job? 332 00:16:26,109 --> 00:16:27,677 Little miss shoulder pads. 333 00:16:27,677 --> 00:16:30,079 Deputy head? You're a bloody music teacher. 334 00:16:30,079 --> 00:16:31,814 Well, I was until you sacked me. 335 00:16:31,814 --> 00:16:33,349 Like I had a choice. 336 00:16:33,349 --> 00:16:34,784 Deputy head. 337 00:16:34,784 --> 00:16:36,619 You haven't got a clue how the real world works. 338 00:16:36,619 --> 00:16:38,555 I'm wise to you, though. 339 00:16:38,555 --> 00:16:42,091 Oh, fuck off. The jealous saddo who blames everyone for her problems, 340 00:16:42,091 --> 00:16:45,495 and thinks a bottle of wine and a packet of fags will solve everything. 341 00:16:45,495 --> 00:16:46,796 Oh, just fuck off. 342 00:16:46,796 --> 00:16:48,798 - No, you fuck off. - No, you fuck off. 343 00:16:49,199 --> 00:16:50,533 And I said it first. 344 00:16:50,533 --> 00:16:52,735 No, you didn't. I said it first just then. 345 00:16:56,672 --> 00:16:57,706 [laughs] 346 00:16:58,841 --> 00:17:00,009 You think this is funny? 347 00:17:01,611 --> 00:17:02,645 [chuckles] No. 348 00:17:03,112 --> 00:17:04,280 I think 349 00:17:05,048 --> 00:17:09,552 I think I've been really selfish and stupid. 350 00:17:11,621 --> 00:17:13,055 And my throat hurts. 351 00:17:15,958 --> 00:17:18,360 [smacks lips] Anyway. Come on, come on, Tallulah. 352 00:17:19,996 --> 00:17:21,030 Margaret! 353 00:17:22,365 --> 00:17:23,532 Mum! 354 00:17:25,935 --> 00:17:27,603 - [Jean] Margaret! - [Hetty] Mum! 355 00:17:38,981 --> 00:17:42,452 [exhales sharply] Getting right cold out there now. 356 00:17:42,452 --> 00:17:43,986 What do you think they're doing? 357 00:17:44,454 --> 00:17:46,989 I mean, it's not exactly walking weather, is it? 358 00:17:47,423 --> 00:17:49,892 Should we be, uh, looking for 'em? [sighs] 359 00:17:52,461 --> 00:17:53,530 Yeah. 360 00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:54,864 [Gaz exhales sharply] 361 00:17:54,864 --> 00:17:56,699 I was hoping for a no there, Dave. 362 00:17:57,534 --> 00:17:59,802 Shouldn't someone wait in the car in case they come back? 363 00:18:03,339 --> 00:18:05,407 Just a suggestion. 364 00:18:13,015 --> 00:18:15,485 Tried to stop it happening. 365 00:18:15,485 --> 00:18:18,555 I didn't want to put a bomb under my marriage. Course I didn't. 366 00:18:18,555 --> 00:18:20,022 Well, you should have tried harder. 367 00:18:21,757 --> 00:18:23,993 It didn't make any difference how I justified it. 368 00:18:23,993 --> 00:18:25,829 I still felt like an absolute shit. 369 00:18:25,829 --> 00:18:28,031 You are an absolute shit. 370 00:18:28,031 --> 00:18:29,365 Mum! 371 00:18:29,365 --> 00:18:30,399 I know. 372 00:18:31,634 --> 00:18:34,503 I haven't slept properly in months. [grunts] 373 00:18:38,841 --> 00:18:40,342 Here, give us your bloody dog. 374 00:18:43,145 --> 00:18:45,882 - Thanks, Het. - I'm only carrying it for five minutes. 375 00:18:45,882 --> 00:18:47,950 Then I'm feeding it to the coyotes. 376 00:18:49,051 --> 00:18:50,520 Jean! 377 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:51,921 - Netty! - Hetty! 378 00:18:51,921 --> 00:18:53,556 This really isn't the best way to find 'em. 379 00:18:53,556 --> 00:18:55,358 I mean, we've got no reception. 380 00:18:55,358 --> 00:18:57,359 So, if they're back at the car, how would we know? 381 00:18:57,760 --> 00:18:58,894 They can't call us. 382 00:19:00,363 --> 00:19:02,699 - I'm just saying. - Should you be saying owt at all? 383 00:19:02,699 --> 00:19:04,501 I've said I'm sorry, all right? I'm sorry. 384 00:19:04,501 --> 00:19:05,802 But an affair is just a sign. 385 00:19:05,802 --> 00:19:06,870 What, that you're a shit? 386 00:19:06,870 --> 00:19:08,070 No, that she wasn't happy. 387 00:19:08,671 --> 00:19:10,106 - You-- [growls] - Hey, hey. 388 00:19:10,106 --> 00:19:11,441 - What are you doing to me? - Hey, oi! 389 00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:12,709 Get off me. 390 00:19:12,709 --> 00:19:14,677 Don't poke the fucking bear, all right? 391 00:19:14,677 --> 00:19:16,045 This is none of your business. 392 00:19:16,045 --> 00:19:17,480 What are you protecting him for? 393 00:19:18,381 --> 00:19:22,118 Or, uh, thanks for trudging through the fucking forest in the rain, 394 00:19:22,118 --> 00:19:23,887 in the cold, 395 00:19:23,887 --> 00:19:25,554 looking for some bloody woman who doesn't even like me. 396 00:19:26,489 --> 00:19:28,724 Jean, you mad cow! 397 00:19:37,366 --> 00:19:38,434 [Hetty] Mum! 398 00:19:41,938 --> 00:19:45,341 God. Hetty, I'm dying for a wee. 399 00:19:45,341 --> 00:19:47,576 - Shut up. Did you hear that? - [indistinct chattering] 400 00:19:49,412 --> 00:19:50,713 Mum! 401 00:19:50,713 --> 00:19:53,482 - Mum! Mum, we're here! - [chattering continues] 402 00:19:55,785 --> 00:19:58,454 Oh, somebody brought me here and left me. 403 00:19:58,454 --> 00:19:59,956 - I've got you now, Mum. - Oh. 404 00:19:59,956 --> 00:20:02,291 [Hetty] Everything's gonna be all right. 405 00:20:02,925 --> 00:20:04,928 - Who are you? - [chuckles] 406 00:20:04,928 --> 00:20:07,596 Oh, hey, Jean. 407 00:20:08,030 --> 00:20:10,266 [sighing] 408 00:20:10,933 --> 00:20:12,635 [Tabani] Trees freak me out. 409 00:20:12,635 --> 00:20:13,937 [Destiny] We're nearly there. You're gonna love it. 410 00:20:13,937 --> 00:20:15,671 Yeah, why am I thinking "not"? 411 00:20:16,506 --> 00:20:19,375 Check that out. Private school with a swimming pool. 412 00:20:19,776 --> 00:20:22,111 Come up here with Jonsy. Sells weed to sixth form. 413 00:20:22,111 --> 00:20:23,679 And off goes the Jonsy alarm. 414 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:25,515 I'm not breaking and entering. 415 00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:27,517 Breaking and entering? 416 00:20:27,517 --> 00:20:29,352 My mum's already going on about sending me back to the rellies in Pakistan. 417 00:20:29,352 --> 00:20:30,920 We don't need to break and enter. 418 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:32,822 Fire escape's open. It's where Jonsy does his deliveries. 419 00:20:32,822 --> 00:20:34,691 Oh. 420 00:20:34,691 --> 00:20:36,993 Well, if it's got Jonsy's seal of approval, what could go wrong? 421 00:20:36,993 --> 00:20:38,260 [Destiny scoffs] 422 00:20:39,495 --> 00:20:40,663 - Come on. - [scoffs] 423 00:20:41,164 --> 00:20:42,765 Don't leave me with the trees. 424 00:20:59,382 --> 00:21:01,650 - Jean! - Jean! 425 00:21:05,354 --> 00:21:08,491 Ah, shit! [groaning] 426 00:21:09,592 --> 00:21:11,794 [groans] Sh-- [pants] 427 00:21:11,794 --> 00:21:12,862 Shit. 428 00:21:12,862 --> 00:21:14,531 [panting] 429 00:21:14,531 --> 00:21:15,931 Dave! 430 00:21:16,365 --> 00:21:19,502 Dave, are you there? [pants] 431 00:21:20,770 --> 00:21:22,805 - [Dave] What? - I need your help. 432 00:21:24,907 --> 00:21:28,978 [groans] Oh, man. I think I twisted my ankle. 433 00:21:28,978 --> 00:21:32,115 [sucks teeth] Not looking good for the blue team, eh? 434 00:21:32,115 --> 00:21:34,350 [grunts] And I think I've lost my shoe. 435 00:21:34,350 --> 00:21:35,918 I was wondering what's the plan? 436 00:21:36,486 --> 00:21:39,722 - [groans] The plan? - You and Jean. 437 00:21:39,722 --> 00:21:42,491 Oh, Dave. Come on, I'm in pain here. Help me. 438 00:21:44,060 --> 00:21:46,362 [groans, panting] 439 00:21:48,631 --> 00:21:50,599 Okay. [breathing heavily] 440 00:21:52,869 --> 00:21:54,303 There is no plan. 441 00:21:55,471 --> 00:21:56,472 I don't have one. 442 00:21:57,740 --> 00:22:00,643 I was offered a job at a start-up in Cornwall. 443 00:22:01,677 --> 00:22:03,513 Educational consultancy. 444 00:22:03,513 --> 00:22:04,948 It's a really good opportunity. 445 00:22:04,948 --> 00:22:07,082 - Is she going with ya? - I don't know. 446 00:22:07,850 --> 00:22:10,620 [groaning] 447 00:22:10,620 --> 00:22:12,054 I honestly don't know. 448 00:22:15,491 --> 00:22:18,060 Tourist board conspiracy is Cornwall. 449 00:22:19,729 --> 00:22:21,731 We went to Penzance a year back. 450 00:22:21,731 --> 00:22:24,400 It rained every bloody day. 451 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,336 We had a decent enough time, mind. 452 00:22:26,336 --> 00:22:27,937 At least, I thought we did. 453 00:22:27,937 --> 00:22:29,071 Guess we didn't. 454 00:22:30,406 --> 00:22:31,440 You tell me. 455 00:22:34,810 --> 00:22:35,945 What a mess. 456 00:22:35,945 --> 00:22:37,613 [sighs] 457 00:22:39,815 --> 00:22:40,916 I'm so sorry. 458 00:22:42,351 --> 00:22:43,385 [inhales] 459 00:22:44,453 --> 00:22:47,090 Come on, you one-shoed bastard. 460 00:22:47,090 --> 00:22:49,492 [Dilip groaning] 461 00:22:49,492 --> 00:22:51,694 [groaning continues] 462 00:22:56,866 --> 00:22:58,434 [pants] Thanks. 463 00:23:00,002 --> 00:23:01,036 Jean! 464 00:23:03,439 --> 00:23:04,507 [Hetty groans] 465 00:23:06,042 --> 00:23:08,511 [sighs] It's damp. 466 00:23:09,112 --> 00:23:11,413 It'll be all right if we can get it going. 467 00:23:11,914 --> 00:23:14,083 Need summat dry. [groans] 468 00:23:15,651 --> 00:23:18,454 Hey, nylon's flammable. Give us your bra. 469 00:23:18,454 --> 00:23:20,023 Use your own bra. 470 00:23:20,023 --> 00:23:21,591 I need more support than you. 471 00:23:21,591 --> 00:23:24,294 Well, we won't get many kilojoules out of mine. 472 00:23:24,294 --> 00:23:26,029 It's Agent Provocateur. 473 00:23:26,029 --> 00:23:27,363 Barely there. 474 00:23:27,363 --> 00:23:30,432 Oh, yeah. Jean and her affair underwear. 475 00:23:30,900 --> 00:23:32,502 Look where that's got us. 476 00:23:32,502 --> 00:23:34,304 Come on. We need both bras. 477 00:23:34,304 --> 00:23:37,307 Hey! I used to love a bit of slap and tickle. 478 00:23:37,307 --> 00:23:38,708 I mean, who doesn't? 479 00:23:38,708 --> 00:23:40,610 Well, I mean the daily woman doesn't. 480 00:23:40,610 --> 00:23:41,678 All right, mum! 481 00:23:41,678 --> 00:23:43,012 I mean, not with Jack, mind. 482 00:23:43,012 --> 00:23:45,514 H-H-He were right cack-handed. 483 00:23:46,048 --> 00:23:49,819 All that fondling about up top used to get right on my nerves. 484 00:23:50,353 --> 00:23:54,858 He used to go at it like he were finding World Service on wireless. 485 00:23:54,858 --> 00:23:56,759 I don't need to know this, Mother. 486 00:23:56,759 --> 00:23:58,628 Jack was your father, right? 487 00:23:58,628 --> 00:24:00,029 [Margaret] Eddy were better. 488 00:24:00,497 --> 00:24:02,698 He knew what he were doing. 489 00:24:03,466 --> 00:24:04,501 Eddy, Dad's brother? 490 00:24:04,501 --> 00:24:06,970 I mean, I didn't even like Eddy. 491 00:24:06,970 --> 00:24:11,074 That man couldn't put four words together without three of them being a lie. 492 00:24:11,074 --> 00:24:13,009 Oh, thank God for that. 493 00:24:13,009 --> 00:24:16,613 We just used to go to bed together when Jack were at Crown Green Bowling. 494 00:24:16,613 --> 00:24:18,481 - Mum! - [chuckles] 495 00:24:19,649 --> 00:24:21,551 I think she's getting mixed up. 496 00:24:21,551 --> 00:24:23,786 There you go. Eighty quid's worth. 497 00:24:24,420 --> 00:24:27,056 You are basically paying for holes. 498 00:24:27,890 --> 00:24:30,893 See? Spitting image of Eddy. 499 00:24:33,763 --> 00:24:35,331 What did you just say? 500 00:24:36,065 --> 00:24:37,433 Don't shout at me. 501 00:24:38,701 --> 00:24:39,835 I didn't say anything. 502 00:24:47,009 --> 00:24:48,744 [Destiny screams] 503 00:24:49,712 --> 00:24:50,946 Whoo-hoo! 504 00:24:55,518 --> 00:24:57,487 Come on, Tabs. It'll be a laugh. 505 00:24:57,487 --> 00:24:58,555 No, ta. 506 00:24:58,555 --> 00:25:00,089 The water's dead warm. 507 00:25:00,089 --> 00:25:01,423 It's like having a bath. 508 00:25:04,827 --> 00:25:05,861 Please? 509 00:25:07,396 --> 00:25:08,731 I can't swim. 510 00:25:08,731 --> 00:25:09,799 [Destiny] Seriously? 511 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:11,967 Get in. I'll teach ya. 512 00:25:13,870 --> 00:25:14,904 No. You're all right. 513 00:25:19,375 --> 00:25:20,776 - Oh, piss off. - [laughs] 514 00:25:22,345 --> 00:25:23,379 [groans] 515 00:25:23,379 --> 00:25:24,580 - [screams] - Whoa! 516 00:25:26,115 --> 00:25:27,283 [Cal laughs] 517 00:25:27,717 --> 00:25:29,318 [screams] 518 00:25:32,488 --> 00:25:33,756 [screams] 519 00:25:33,756 --> 00:25:34,824 - [screams] - [laughs] 520 00:25:36,826 --> 00:25:39,362 I need food and my pills. 521 00:25:39,362 --> 00:25:41,297 I have to take them together. The doctor said. 522 00:25:41,865 --> 00:25:43,733 We cannot survive on mints. 523 00:25:43,733 --> 00:25:45,334 We need proper food. 524 00:25:46,002 --> 00:25:48,037 - What about that? - Tallulah? 525 00:25:48,037 --> 00:25:49,706 Grandad had a farm. 526 00:25:49,706 --> 00:25:53,409 I could break its neck, skin it, smoke it on fire. Tasty. 527 00:25:53,409 --> 00:25:55,645 I'll brain her if she touches Tallulah. 528 00:25:55,645 --> 00:25:57,446 What sort of daughter are you? 529 00:25:58,014 --> 00:26:00,550 My rabble wouldn't let her speak to me like that. 530 00:26:00,550 --> 00:26:03,352 You can't eat my friend's dog, Mum! 531 00:26:04,687 --> 00:26:06,922 - Oh. - Thanks, Het. 532 00:26:23,973 --> 00:26:26,742 [inhales deeply] Make the most of it. Last one. 533 00:26:27,543 --> 00:26:28,577 Ta. 534 00:26:38,788 --> 00:26:41,490 - I was jealous of you. - Me? 535 00:26:43,659 --> 00:26:46,362 Who in their right mind would be jealous of me? 536 00:26:47,363 --> 00:26:48,631 I'd lost my son. 537 00:26:49,065 --> 00:26:50,566 You still had your daughter. 538 00:26:51,968 --> 00:26:55,571 You had what I'd lost. What I could never get back. 539 00:26:56,806 --> 00:26:57,840 My baby. 540 00:27:02,044 --> 00:27:05,515 You had a lot on, so maybe you didn't notice, 541 00:27:05,515 --> 00:27:07,983 but around that time, 542 00:27:09,518 --> 00:27:10,586 Sean left me. 543 00:27:12,388 --> 00:27:14,824 I was drinking half a bottle of vodka a day. 544 00:27:17,059 --> 00:27:19,662 Izzy got put in temporary care and 545 00:27:21,697 --> 00:27:24,066 blamed me for the whole thing. 546 00:27:26,035 --> 00:27:28,571 To my mind, you had everything I wanted. 547 00:27:29,639 --> 00:27:31,508 I'd have swapped with you in a heartbeat. 548 00:27:31,508 --> 00:27:32,775 No, you wouldn't. 549 00:27:32,775 --> 00:27:34,543 No, I wouldn't. 550 00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:40,382 I don't know how you coped with losing Michael. 551 00:27:40,916 --> 00:27:43,453 Well, we didn't, as it turns out. 552 00:27:43,453 --> 00:27:46,623 That's why I'm stuck in the middle of bloody nowhere 553 00:27:46,623 --> 00:27:50,459 with your mother, my dog, and my ex-best friend who hates me. 554 00:27:51,794 --> 00:27:52,995 I worshipped you. 555 00:27:54,230 --> 00:27:57,901 From shop floor in the co-op to deputy head in eight years. 556 00:27:57,901 --> 00:27:59,735 What else could I do? 557 00:28:00,736 --> 00:28:04,340 I thought if I surrounded myself with enough kids 558 00:28:04,340 --> 00:28:06,375 then I wouldn't notice that the m-- 559 00:28:10,947 --> 00:28:13,782 That the most important one was missin'. 560 00:28:14,884 --> 00:28:17,453 [clicks tongue] It's a fair theory. 561 00:28:18,988 --> 00:28:20,022 Do you know, 562 00:28:20,523 --> 00:28:24,994 me and Dave have never really talked about Michael? 563 00:28:24,994 --> 00:28:26,696 He won't discuss it. 564 00:28:26,696 --> 00:28:29,666 It's like he went silent for a year, 565 00:28:29,666 --> 00:28:31,968 and then he just pretended it had never happened. 566 00:28:31,968 --> 00:28:34,336 Like switching off a light. Click. 567 00:28:34,804 --> 00:28:37,340 I'd be sitting there with Michael's things, 568 00:28:37,340 --> 00:28:39,776 in what was supposed to be Michael's bedroom, 569 00:28:39,776 --> 00:28:42,945 and I'd hear Dave outside, whistling. 570 00:28:43,946 --> 00:28:46,549 Who whistles after that? 571 00:28:49,352 --> 00:28:50,753 Life goes on, Jean. 572 00:28:52,455 --> 00:28:55,925 Yeah. Well, maybe that's what Dilip was. 573 00:28:56,726 --> 00:28:57,827 Life going on. 574 00:29:03,833 --> 00:29:05,868 I'm not in the mood. 575 00:29:06,269 --> 00:29:08,538 Anyway, there's not a lot else to spy, is there? 576 00:29:08,538 --> 00:29:09,738 There's loads of stuff. 577 00:29:11,807 --> 00:29:12,842 Leaves 578 00:29:14,043 --> 00:29:15,077 soil 579 00:29:17,513 --> 00:29:18,581 and, um 580 00:29:19,348 --> 00:29:20,650 Maybe that's my problem. 581 00:29:20,650 --> 00:29:21,851 No imagination. 582 00:29:23,753 --> 00:29:26,322 Not one of life's great thinkers, me. 583 00:29:27,023 --> 00:29:29,826 Not like you teachers, hey, Dilip? 584 00:29:29,826 --> 00:29:31,561 [Gaz] Leave it. 585 00:29:31,561 --> 00:29:34,531 Never discuss the caretaker's shortcomings with my wife? 586 00:29:34,531 --> 00:29:36,365 Uh, maybe over the sofa? 587 00:29:37,099 --> 00:29:39,502 Don't be dwelling on soft furnishings, Dave. 588 00:29:40,836 --> 00:29:41,871 You're a kind man. 589 00:29:44,373 --> 00:29:45,508 I didn't wanna hurt you. 590 00:29:46,809 --> 00:29:48,344 Jean didn't wanna hurt you. 591 00:29:48,344 --> 00:29:49,512 "Kind". 592 00:29:50,146 --> 00:29:53,415 That's clever people talk for stupid, isn't it? 593 00:29:55,017 --> 00:29:57,787 I spy with my little eye 594 00:29:57,787 --> 00:30:03,293 something beginning with a complete and utter 595 00:30:03,293 --> 00:30:04,360 C. 596 00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:06,662 [all laughing] 597 00:30:08,831 --> 00:30:10,866 [sighs] I think I know this one. 598 00:30:11,801 --> 00:30:13,903 ["Hobbies 2" playing] 599 00:30:13,903 --> 00:30:18,407 ♪ If you're looking for forgiveness I have never been the one ♪ 600 00:30:19,008 --> 00:30:24,513 ♪ If you're looking for a hobby Baby, we can have some fun ♪ 601 00:30:25,014 --> 00:30:27,516 Anything to prove I'm living ♪ 602 00:30:27,950 --> 00:30:30,687 Anything to prove we're free ♪ 603 00:30:30,687 --> 00:30:35,491 As long as I'm not busy ♪ 604 00:30:36,526 --> 00:30:41,464 As long as I'm not busy ♪ 605 00:30:42,498 --> 00:30:47,369 As long as I'm not busy ♪ 606 00:30:48,404 --> 00:30:52,842 As long as I'm not busy ♪ 607 00:30:52,842 --> 00:30:54,577 [nurse] Want something to help you to sleep? 608 00:30:54,577 --> 00:30:57,480 [Horse stammers] No, no, no. Thanks. I'm okay. I'm okay. 609 00:30:57,480 --> 00:31:00,516 - You sure? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm fine. 610 00:31:00,984 --> 00:31:03,886 I'm warm, and I don't have to feed the metre. 611 00:31:04,921 --> 00:31:06,255 - Result. - [chuckles] 612 00:31:06,756 --> 00:31:07,790 Thanks, kidda. 613 00:31:16,632 --> 00:31:18,367 Hey. Hey! 614 00:31:19,001 --> 00:31:20,703 Come and see what I found. 615 00:31:24,740 --> 00:31:25,875 [chuckles] 616 00:31:27,510 --> 00:31:28,744 Aw, it's right fancy. 617 00:31:29,345 --> 00:31:30,379 Jesus. 618 00:31:33,015 --> 00:31:34,684 This stuff's worth millions. 619 00:31:34,684 --> 00:31:35,851 [giggles] 620 00:31:40,923 --> 00:31:42,958 [playing key on keyboard] 621 00:31:45,528 --> 00:31:49,932 If I had a million dollars ♪ 622 00:31:50,433 --> 00:31:53,269 If I had a million dollars ♪ 623 00:31:54,737 --> 00:31:55,938 [both giggles] 624 00:31:58,474 --> 00:32:00,976 Well, I'd buy you an house ♪ 625 00:32:01,510 --> 00:32:04,547 Well, I'd buy you a house ♪ 626 00:32:04,547 --> 00:32:07,850 And if I had a million dollars ♪ 627 00:32:08,251 --> 00:32:11,020 If I had a million dollars ♪ 628 00:32:11,020 --> 00:32:17,326 ♪ I'd buy some furniture for your house Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman ♪ 629 00:32:18,461 --> 00:32:22,431 And if I had a million dollars ♪ 630 00:32:26,135 --> 00:32:29,772 Well, I'd buy your love ♪ 631 00:32:36,979 --> 00:32:39,315 [siren wailing in distance] 632 00:32:40,883 --> 00:32:41,951 Oh, shit! 633 00:32:43,953 --> 00:32:45,688 ["If I Had a Million Dollars" playing] 634 00:32:45,688 --> 00:32:47,323 [siren continues] 635 00:32:47,723 --> 00:32:48,924 [Cal laughs] 636 00:32:49,558 --> 00:32:50,926 - [Destiny screams] - [Cal laughs] 637 00:32:55,498 --> 00:32:56,765 [police officer] You're under arrest. 638 00:32:57,166 --> 00:32:58,667 Stop! Don't move. 639 00:32:59,135 --> 00:33:00,436 - You, stay there. - [Destiny sighs] 640 00:33:00,436 --> 00:33:01,971 [song stops] 641 00:33:01,971 --> 00:33:04,707 [Hetty] You'd think by the time we got to our age, 642 00:33:04,707 --> 00:33:06,075 we'd have it all sorted out. 643 00:33:06,676 --> 00:33:10,713 Now, you've fucked up your marriage, and I don't even know if my dad's my dad. 644 00:33:10,713 --> 00:33:12,681 [scoffs] She was just winding you up. 645 00:33:13,149 --> 00:33:14,350 [Dave] Jean! 646 00:33:16,152 --> 00:33:17,320 [Jean] Did you hear that? 647 00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:18,454 [Dave] Jean! 648 00:33:18,454 --> 00:33:20,490 - Dave! - [Tallulah whines] 649 00:33:20,490 --> 00:33:21,557 Dave! 650 00:33:22,458 --> 00:33:23,859 Dave, I'm over here! 651 00:33:24,627 --> 00:33:26,029 I'm over here. Oh, Dave. 652 00:33:26,029 --> 00:33:28,397 Dave! Thank Christ for that. 653 00:33:28,798 --> 00:33:29,833 Alive then? 654 00:33:29,833 --> 00:33:31,801 We-We got lost. 655 00:33:32,302 --> 00:33:34,304 Margaret went on safari. 656 00:33:34,304 --> 00:33:35,872 Don't worry. 657 00:33:35,872 --> 00:33:38,040 Muggins here will tramp around all night long looking for you 658 00:33:39,642 --> 00:33:42,344 - with your boyfriend. - What? 659 00:33:44,113 --> 00:33:45,447 [pants] 660 00:33:47,650 --> 00:33:48,684 Dilip. 661 00:33:49,785 --> 00:33:50,786 Hello. 662 00:34:00,830 --> 00:34:01,864 Cal! 663 00:34:03,533 --> 00:34:04,667 [Cal] Yeah? 664 00:34:05,101 --> 00:34:06,302 You all right? 665 00:34:07,036 --> 00:34:08,704 Yeah. 666 00:34:09,505 --> 00:34:11,774 Do you think they'll let us go to school? 667 00:34:12,375 --> 00:34:13,409 Dunno. 668 00:34:13,976 --> 00:34:14,977 What you missing? 669 00:34:15,578 --> 00:34:18,881 Well, if it's just the morning, Maths and Chemistry. 670 00:34:19,349 --> 00:34:23,586 But if we're charged, uh, my university place, 671 00:34:25,521 --> 00:34:29,359 my career, uh, everything. 672 00:34:29,359 --> 00:34:30,426 [Destiny] Right. 673 00:34:31,460 --> 00:34:32,828 Sorry. 674 00:34:33,863 --> 00:34:34,897 It's all right. 675 00:34:37,066 --> 00:34:38,601 I'm really sorry, Tabs. 676 00:34:38,601 --> 00:34:40,369 Stop saying that. It don't matter. 677 00:34:40,803 --> 00:34:42,438 What about your mum? 678 00:34:42,438 --> 00:34:44,507 They won't really send you back to Pakistan, will they? 679 00:34:44,507 --> 00:34:46,676 Nah. Who'd fiddle the books if they did that? 680 00:34:46,676 --> 00:34:49,278 Wow. Always a surprise with you. [chuckles] 681 00:34:50,112 --> 00:34:52,014 [inhales deeply] Back-- 682 00:34:52,415 --> 00:34:55,918 Back at the school, you were messing, right? 683 00:34:56,886 --> 00:34:57,853 Singing and that. 684 00:34:58,621 --> 00:34:59,755 - No. - But 685 00:35:00,756 --> 00:35:01,791 - What? - [grunts] 686 00:35:02,658 --> 00:35:03,659 What about Cal? 687 00:35:04,327 --> 00:35:05,628 Cal's a mate. 688 00:35:05,628 --> 00:35:08,297 I love Cal, but not like that. 689 00:35:08,798 --> 00:35:11,033 No? Like what though? 690 00:35:13,336 --> 00:35:15,437 Do I really have to spell it out for ya? 691 00:35:15,938 --> 00:35:18,440 [chuckles] You sort of do with me, I'm afraid. 692 00:35:22,578 --> 00:35:26,716 Tabani, I would like to be your girlfriend. 693 00:35:26,716 --> 00:35:27,884 Really? 694 00:35:27,884 --> 00:35:29,852 Yeah, you div. 695 00:35:31,621 --> 00:35:32,888 You're on. 696 00:35:35,691 --> 00:35:38,628 - Right. We gotta get you to that audition. - No, Tabs. I'm not doing it. 697 00:35:38,628 --> 00:35:39,929 You got music in your bones. 698 00:35:39,929 --> 00:35:41,898 You're going. So, shut the fuck up. 699 00:35:41,898 --> 00:35:44,434 Right. Honeymoon period over, then? 700 00:35:44,434 --> 00:35:45,468 Yeah. 701 00:35:46,068 --> 00:35:48,704 Oi! This is child abuse! 702 00:35:49,172 --> 00:35:51,641 - You're holding us under false pretences. - [door buzzing] 703 00:35:51,641 --> 00:35:55,044 Trespass is not a criminal offence! 704 00:36:09,618 --> 00:36:10,653 Dave. 705 00:36:17,560 --> 00:36:18,594 Dave. 706 00:36:20,229 --> 00:36:21,563 Dave. 707 00:36:22,064 --> 00:36:23,666 I'm sorry. 708 00:36:23,666 --> 00:36:26,835 Sorry? No, thanks, Jean. Not interested in "Sorry." 709 00:36:28,771 --> 00:36:29,806 You're welcome to him. 710 00:36:29,806 --> 00:36:31,206 Seems like a nice fella. 711 00:36:32,942 --> 00:36:34,811 Please? Can I call you later? 712 00:36:34,811 --> 00:36:36,679 I told you. Nowt to say. 713 00:36:40,950 --> 00:36:41,984 [Hetty] Come on, Mum. 714 00:36:42,618 --> 00:36:43,786 Time to go home. 715 00:36:43,786 --> 00:36:45,922 Watch a bit of telly, nice cup of tea. 716 00:36:45,922 --> 00:36:47,223 I'm not going anywhere. 717 00:36:47,223 --> 00:36:49,225 I'm staying here, on my bench. 718 00:36:49,225 --> 00:36:51,461 [Hetty] You've been out in the cold. You'll get poorly. 719 00:36:51,461 --> 00:36:53,463 It's all right for you. 720 00:36:53,463 --> 00:36:56,165 You're Mum's favourite. I'll be the one that gets it in the neck. 721 00:36:56,165 --> 00:36:57,533 Mum, let's go, eh? 722 00:36:57,533 --> 00:36:58,667 Oh, sod off, Joan. 723 00:36:59,235 --> 00:37:01,603 - Joan? - Oh, it's her sister. 724 00:37:02,071 --> 00:37:03,973 I'm staying here and that's that. 725 00:37:07,143 --> 00:37:11,514 Now, Margaret, you know your mum will be worried about you, don't ya? 726 00:37:11,514 --> 00:37:13,650 Worried? Hardly. 727 00:37:13,650 --> 00:37:17,820 She'd be all lovey-dovey with our Joan, only I'll get a right good hiding. 728 00:37:17,820 --> 00:37:19,221 Not when I've had a word with her. 729 00:37:19,989 --> 00:37:21,890 I know your mother as a matter of fact. 730 00:37:22,291 --> 00:37:25,561 And there'll be no hidings for anybody. You have my word on that. 731 00:37:26,696 --> 00:37:28,497 Are you a police officer? 732 00:37:30,232 --> 00:37:31,433 If you like. 733 00:37:32,568 --> 00:37:33,970 But you can call me Gaz. 734 00:37:33,970 --> 00:37:35,772 Well, where's your uniform? 735 00:37:35,772 --> 00:37:37,140 Undercover, aren't I? 736 00:37:37,140 --> 00:37:38,474 Oh. 737 00:37:40,276 --> 00:37:42,779 - Our little secret, eh? - Mmm. [giggles] 738 00:37:42,779 --> 00:37:45,748 Now, let's get you home in time for Good Morning Britain. 739 00:37:45,748 --> 00:37:47,717 [Hetty] Oh, is it that time? 740 00:37:47,717 --> 00:37:49,018 Good idea. 741 00:37:49,018 --> 00:37:50,920 Well, only if he comes too. 742 00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:52,187 [Gaz] It'll be my pleasure. 743 00:37:52,621 --> 00:37:53,956 I'll drop you home. 744 00:37:53,956 --> 00:37:56,025 I'll just relieve my driver of his duties. 745 00:37:56,692 --> 00:37:57,660 Dave. 746 00:37:58,094 --> 00:37:59,128 Dismissed. 747 00:37:59,662 --> 00:38:02,665 I want you next to me, Inspector. 748 00:38:03,133 --> 00:38:05,668 She can bloody drive. 749 00:38:05,668 --> 00:38:07,170 [Hetty] Where have you been hiding him? 750 00:38:07,170 --> 00:38:09,138 [scoffs] You don't wanna go there. 751 00:38:09,138 --> 00:38:10,940 The pensioner whisperer? 752 00:38:10,940 --> 00:38:12,141 What's not to like? 753 00:38:12,976 --> 00:38:16,145 [Jean] You do know that's Destiny Schofield's dad? 754 00:38:16,145 --> 00:38:18,614 - Oh, seriously? - Mmm. 755 00:38:19,315 --> 00:38:22,185 You do have a knack of pissing on my chips, Jean. 756 00:38:22,185 --> 00:38:23,819 [chuckles] Sorry. 757 00:38:41,303 --> 00:38:42,872 Just us then. [sighs] 758 00:38:42,872 --> 00:38:43,939 [mouthing word] Yep. 759 00:38:44,673 --> 00:38:45,708 Now what? 760 00:38:46,709 --> 00:38:48,511 [car engine starts] 761 00:38:48,511 --> 00:38:49,578 I'll take you home. 762 00:38:59,955 --> 00:39:01,524 Come on, Tallulah. 763 00:39:01,524 --> 00:39:03,692 Up. Up. Come on. 764 00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:06,562 [nurse] Dr Shah. A & E on the phone. 765 00:39:06,996 --> 00:39:08,965 Got ambulances queuing around the block. 766 00:39:08,965 --> 00:39:12,702 Two cardiac arrests in need of beds and one on a trolley. I was wondering-- 767 00:39:12,702 --> 00:39:14,670 [Dr Shah] Tell them not a single bed free. 768 00:39:15,104 --> 00:39:16,472 [nurse] They're desperate. 769 00:39:16,472 --> 00:39:18,574 Oh, God. I'll tell them myself. 770 00:39:19,675 --> 00:39:21,911 [nurse 2] What about this fellow? Can't we send him home? 771 00:39:21,911 --> 00:39:24,079 [nurse] He's too frail, and he's got no one at home. 772 00:39:32,288 --> 00:39:33,489 [sighs] 773 00:39:39,729 --> 00:39:40,829 [grunts] 774 00:39:41,997 --> 00:39:44,634 - [pants] - [machine alarm dinging] 775 00:39:44,634 --> 00:39:45,935 [dinging continues] 776 00:39:45,935 --> 00:39:47,903 [panting, groaning] 777 00:40:08,524 --> 00:40:09,558 You wanna come in? 778 00:40:14,764 --> 00:40:15,931 I'm sorry, Dilip. 779 00:40:17,500 --> 00:40:19,201 It was never gonna work between us. 780 00:40:21,137 --> 00:40:23,772 I-- I haven't been honest with you, 781 00:40:24,607 --> 00:40:25,741 with Dave, 782 00:40:26,275 --> 00:40:27,776 with myself. 783 00:40:34,984 --> 00:40:36,585 I thought it was working. 784 00:40:37,720 --> 00:40:39,588 You're a beautiful man, Dil 785 00:40:41,023 --> 00:40:44,493 but I-- I woke up. 786 00:40:46,829 --> 00:40:47,930 I'm so sorry. 787 00:40:51,967 --> 00:40:53,002 [chuckles] 788 00:41:06,649 --> 00:41:07,683 [car engine starts] 789 00:41:09,251 --> 00:41:11,454 [Horse panting] 790 00:41:11,454 --> 00:41:13,022 ["lovely" playing] 791 00:41:13,022 --> 00:41:14,957 Thought I found a way ♪ 792 00:41:15,658 --> 00:41:17,059 [Horse groaning] 793 00:41:17,493 --> 00:41:20,663 - Thought I found a way out ♪ - Found ♪ 794 00:41:20,663 --> 00:41:22,732 [panting, groaning] 795 00:41:22,732 --> 00:41:24,634 - But you never go away ♪ - Never go away ♪ 796 00:41:24,634 --> 00:41:26,736 - [panting continues] - So I guess I gotta stay now ♪ 797 00:41:26,736 --> 00:41:27,970 [groans] 798 00:41:27,970 --> 00:41:30,973 Oh, I hope some day ♪ 799 00:41:30,973 --> 00:41:36,612 I'll make it out of here ♪ 800 00:41:36,612 --> 00:41:41,017 Even if it takes all night ♪ 801 00:41:41,017 --> 00:41:44,921 Or a hundred years ♪ 802 00:41:44,921 --> 00:41:47,523 Need a place to hide ♪ 803 00:41:47,523 --> 00:41:53,162 But I can't find one near ♪ 804 00:41:53,162 --> 00:41:55,965 Wanna feel alive ♪ 805 00:41:55,965 --> 00:42:02,071 Outside I can't fight my fear ♪ 806 00:42:03,172 --> 00:42:04,540 [water splashing] 807 00:42:04,540 --> 00:42:07,143 Isn't it lovely, all alone? ♪ 808 00:42:07,143 --> 00:42:11,447 Heart made of glass, my mind of stone ♪ 809 00:42:11,447 --> 00:42:15,618 Tear me to pieces, skin to bone ♪ 810 00:42:16,119 --> 00:42:18,821 Hello, welcome home ♪ 811 00:42:18,821 --> 00:42:20,156 [people chattering] 812 00:42:20,156 --> 00:42:23,092 [water splashing] 813 00:42:24,493 --> 00:42:30,666 Hello, welcome home ♪ 814 00:42:32,168 --> 00:42:34,203 [chattering continues] 815 00:42:42,244 --> 00:42:44,413 [chattering continues]