1 00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:11,400 [ "Valse de l'Empereur" by Johann Strauss playing] 2 00:00:14,490 --> 00:00:18,580 [♪♪] 3 00:00:22,060 --> 00:00:25,670 [♪♪] 4 00:00:29,850 --> 00:00:33,770 [♪♪] 5 00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:39,910 [♪♪] 6 00:00:40,110 --> 00:00:41,650 "The President could sense 7 00:00:41,850 --> 00:00:43,310 the arrival of his Chief of Staff 8 00:00:43,510 --> 00:00:47,050 from the slight breeze the door makes when opened, 9 00:00:47,250 --> 00:00:49,360 and the President wished he would knock, 10 00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:51,930 and the Chief of Staff thought, 11 00:00:52,130 --> 00:00:55,100 "I'm not the kind of guy who knocks and waits," 12 00:00:55,300 --> 00:00:59,240 and the President thinks, "I wish he would wait," 13 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:01,200 but the Chief of Staff ignores this... 14 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:02,500 [Hank, thinking] Cheese... 15 00:01:02,700 --> 00:01:05,070 American and feta. 16 00:01:05,270 --> 00:01:06,680 Tuna. 17 00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:08,380 Vodka for my office. 18 00:01:08,580 --> 00:01:09,600 Olives. 19 00:01:09,790 --> 00:01:11,200 Dried berries... 20 00:01:14,940 --> 00:01:17,170 Uh, let's stop you there. 21 00:01:17,370 --> 00:01:18,520 Any comments? 22 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:20,340 I loved it. 23 00:01:21,690 --> 00:01:23,260 [Hank] That's one "I loved it." 24 00:01:23,460 --> 00:01:25,380 How about any constructive criticisms? 25 00:01:27,300 --> 00:01:29,790 Going once, twice... 26 00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:31,050 Moving on. 27 00:01:31,250 --> 00:01:32,390 I mean, you could-- you could say something. 28 00:01:34,350 --> 00:01:36,580 I've given you my thoughts before. 29 00:01:36,780 --> 00:01:38,750 Just have a glance at your last story 30 00:01:38,950 --> 00:01:40,320 or the one before that, okay? 31 00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:41,410 Jen, do you want to read? 32 00:01:41,610 --> 00:01:42,800 It might spark some discussion 33 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,010 if you offered something out loud. 34 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:47,240 I don't think so. 35 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,230 It could. 36 00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:51,680 [grumbles] 37 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:54,370 Could you, please, just for once, say something? 38 00:01:55,980 --> 00:01:58,380 Workshops like this are based on the idea of peer review. 39 00:01:58,580 --> 00:02:00,210 Guided review. 40 00:02:00,410 --> 00:02:01,600 I'm trying to guide. 41 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,430 Jen? 42 00:02:03,630 --> 00:02:05,910 Professor, I don't mean to gang up on you, 43 00:02:06,110 --> 00:02:08,480 but you should know, 44 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:11,000 besides calling our names to read, 45 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,390 you've barely said anything in an hour and a half. 46 00:02:16,350 --> 00:02:18,270 Well, I couldn't help but notice 47 00:02:18,470 --> 00:02:19,800 a wandering point of view 48 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:22,450 within, basically, structureless sentences. 49 00:02:22,650 --> 00:02:24,760 No, my point of view doesn't wander. 50 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:27,540 Well, it switches mid-sentence 51 00:02:27,740 --> 00:02:29,240 from the President to the Chief of Staff, 52 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:30,630 then back, then back-- 53 00:02:30,830 --> 00:02:32,500 Yeah, on purpose. 54 00:02:32,700 --> 00:02:34,680 Well, you risk distancing the reader. 55 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:37,760 I happen to think that risk is worth the reward. 56 00:02:39,150 --> 00:02:40,120 What's the reward? 57 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:41,210 Okay, um... 58 00:02:41,410 --> 00:02:43,120 the reward is I'm-- 59 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:45,430 I'm exposing the flow 60 00:02:45,630 --> 00:02:48,250 of different collected consciousness. 61 00:02:49,430 --> 00:02:50,350 You know? 62 00:02:50,550 --> 00:02:52,260 I'm calling it ultra-omniscience. 63 00:02:52,460 --> 00:02:53,740 That's a cool word. 64 00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:55,660 Did anyone else care 65 00:02:55,860 --> 00:02:57,310 that the President and Chief of Staff 66 00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:59,360 seem to be responding to each other's thoughts 67 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:01,790 without speaking, 68 00:03:01,990 --> 00:03:03,320 in a way that isn't... 69 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:04,670 possible? 70 00:03:04,870 --> 00:03:06,150 I mean, I'm just gonna say it again, 71 00:03:06,350 --> 00:03:07,580 I loved it, 72 00:03:07,780 --> 00:03:09,320 and you made my shortlist for the Pulitzer. 73 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:11,500 You don't get to make a short list 74 00:03:11,700 --> 00:03:12,720 for someone else's award. 75 00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:13,850 Yeah, look, okay, 76 00:03:14,050 --> 00:03:14,810 responding to each other's thoughts, 77 00:03:15,010 --> 00:03:16,160 it's not a mistake. 78 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:17,460 [Hank] It certainly was. 79 00:03:17,660 --> 00:03:19,030 Let's put aside the multiple points of view 80 00:03:19,230 --> 00:03:20,030 and the wandering tense 81 00:03:20,230 --> 00:03:21,340 and the conversations 82 00:03:21,540 --> 00:03:23,290 that seem to happen via telepathy. 83 00:03:23,490 --> 00:03:24,430 Even put aside 84 00:03:24,630 --> 00:03:25,640 the Chief of Staff's necrophilia. 85 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:26,510 Okay, well, then there's no story. 86 00:03:26,710 --> 00:03:27,600 Do you know what I mean 87 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:28,560 when I say "distance the reader"? 88 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:29,650 Of course I do, 89 00:03:29,850 --> 00:03:31,300 but that's my choice to make, 90 00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:32,960 as it is every writer's, 91 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:36,310 as it was, um, Chaucer's choice, you know, 92 00:03:36,510 --> 00:03:38,610 whose writing I actually find really distancing. 93 00:03:38,810 --> 00:03:40,050 Yeah, well, less so 94 00:03:40,250 --> 00:03:41,700 because he was writing in Middle English, 95 00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:44,450 and it's a tricky thing, comparing yourself to Chaucer. 96 00:03:44,650 --> 00:03:46,800 Yeah, but we don't know that I'm not the next Chaucer. 97 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:47,840 We do know. 98 00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:48,800 All due respect, 99 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:49,930 you would not know. 100 00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:51,700 All due respect, a cat would know. 101 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:54,670 Your only novel 102 00:03:54,870 --> 00:03:55,880 isn't even available at your own campus bookstore. 103 00:03:57,100 --> 00:03:59,290 You-- you're here. 104 00:03:59,490 --> 00:04:00,810 You're here. 105 00:04:01,010 --> 00:04:03,070 The main piece of evidence is that you are here. 106 00:04:03,270 --> 00:04:04,420 The fact that you're here 107 00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:06,160 means you didn't try very hard in high school, 108 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:09,340 or, for whatever reason, you showed very little promise. 109 00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:10,300 Did that sound harsh? 110 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:11,860 I'll tell you what. 111 00:04:12,060 --> 00:04:13,130 I'll smile through the rest of this. 112 00:04:13,330 --> 00:04:14,650 You are here, 113 00:04:14,850 --> 00:04:17,300 and even if your presence at this middling college 114 00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:18,570 in this sad, forgotten town 115 00:04:18,770 --> 00:04:20,180 was some bizarre anomaly, 116 00:04:20,380 --> 00:04:22,310 and you do have the promise of genius, 117 00:04:22,510 --> 00:04:24,220 which I'll bet a kidney that you don't, 118 00:04:24,420 --> 00:04:27,310 it will never surface. 119 00:04:27,510 --> 00:04:31,670 I am not a good enough writer or writing teacher 120 00:04:31,870 --> 00:04:32,710 to bring it out of you. 121 00:04:32,910 --> 00:04:34,890 And how do I know that? How? 122 00:04:35,090 --> 00:04:39,370 Because I, too, am here, 123 00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:41,550 at Railton College, 124 00:04:41,750 --> 00:04:43,760 mediocrity's capital. 125 00:04:48,540 --> 00:04:51,110 Well, you wanted me to talk more. 126 00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:55,680 [♪♪] 127 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,140 [phone buzzing] 128 00:05:43,290 --> 00:05:44,120 [Lily] Who is it? 129 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:46,470 Work. 130 00:05:48,430 --> 00:05:49,300 [Lily] Turn it off. 131 00:06:04,490 --> 00:06:05,660 [phone buzzing] 132 00:06:12,630 --> 00:06:13,860 Hmm. 133 00:06:14,060 --> 00:06:15,340 I put that in the recycling three days ago. 134 00:06:15,540 --> 00:06:16,860 I didn't realize you want to save it. 135 00:06:17,060 --> 00:06:18,380 Save it? 136 00:06:18,580 --> 00:06:21,110 Oh, no, there's other articles I want to read in here. 137 00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:24,910 Um... 138 00:06:25,110 --> 00:06:26,390 you were working late last night? 139 00:06:26,590 --> 00:06:28,780 I mean, it isn't really working late 140 00:06:28,980 --> 00:06:30,390 just because it's after you've gone to sleep. 141 00:06:31,780 --> 00:06:32,960 Yeah, well, I'm a college professor, 142 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,220 so working after 4:00 p.m. is late. 143 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:37,840 Who are you saving now? 144 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:40,490 There's this boy named Calvin who's been acting out. 145 00:06:40,690 --> 00:06:41,800 Herb thinks he should be expelled, 146 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,150 so, anyway, 147 00:06:43,350 --> 00:06:45,540 we're meeting with his mother and a teacher-- 148 00:06:45,740 --> 00:06:46,880 [phone buzzing] 149 00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:50,020 You are very popular this morning. 150 00:06:50,220 --> 00:06:51,140 I am. 151 00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:54,850 Why did you buy so many bananas? 152 00:06:55,050 --> 00:06:56,070 They're going to go bad, you know. 153 00:06:56,270 --> 00:06:58,290 Just to piss you off. 154 00:06:58,490 --> 00:06:59,680 [phone buzzing] 155 00:07:04,510 --> 00:07:06,390 I think you should just keep up with the solitary misery, 156 00:07:06,590 --> 00:07:08,470 and, like, don't change a thing. 157 00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:11,260 Who isn't miserable, huh? 158 00:07:11,460 --> 00:07:13,830 Being an adult is 80% misery. 159 00:07:14,030 --> 00:07:15,740 No, I think you're at 80. 160 00:07:15,940 --> 00:07:17,620 The rest of us hover around 30 to 40. 161 00:07:17,810 --> 00:07:18,700 Thirty? 162 00:07:18,900 --> 00:07:19,660 Nobody is at 30. 163 00:07:19,860 --> 00:07:20,970 I'm at 30. 164 00:07:21,170 --> 00:07:22,270 Really? 165 00:07:22,470 --> 00:07:23,620 Thirty? 166 00:07:23,820 --> 00:07:25,830 Well, then, you're unusually happy. 167 00:07:27,090 --> 00:07:27,920 I don't think that's true. 168 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:36,590 [Hank, thinking] I think we've become 169 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,110 a bit obsessed with happiness. 170 00:07:38,310 --> 00:07:39,280 It's a little much. 171 00:07:40,850 --> 00:07:42,590 What happened to just getting through the day? 172 00:07:43,890 --> 00:07:45,030 I wonder what percentage of misery 173 00:07:45,230 --> 00:07:46,770 this dude was at. 174 00:07:46,970 --> 00:07:49,390 It better have been at least 90. 175 00:07:49,590 --> 00:07:50,860 I need a cushion. 176 00:07:52,030 --> 00:07:53,780 If people wanted to be happy so much, 177 00:07:53,980 --> 00:07:55,610 why does all the evidence point to the opposite? 178 00:07:55,810 --> 00:07:57,480 I mean, newspapers, the courts, 179 00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:58,870 social media... 180 00:07:59,070 --> 00:08:00,750 The misery industry-- that's huge. 181 00:08:00,940 --> 00:08:02,130 Billions. 182 00:08:03,870 --> 00:08:05,530 The happy industry? [chuckles] 183 00:08:05,730 --> 00:08:09,930 That's, like, one guy, who probably lives in Canada, 184 00:08:10,130 --> 00:08:11,190 breeding unicorns 185 00:08:11,390 --> 00:08:13,930 and filming them for porn on the side. 186 00:08:14,130 --> 00:08:15,020 [students whispering] 187 00:08:15,220 --> 00:08:16,060 [chuckles] 188 00:08:19,620 --> 00:08:21,410 Mediocrity's capital? Really? 189 00:08:22,850 --> 00:08:26,630 [♪♪] 190 00:08:32,030 --> 00:08:35,420 [♪♪] 191 00:08:38,770 --> 00:08:40,740 I decided to face you as a man. 192 00:08:40,940 --> 00:08:42,520 Man to man. 193 00:08:45,260 --> 00:08:46,090 We're one short. 194 00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:50,440 I always wanted to be a writer. 195 00:08:53,140 --> 00:08:55,930 When I was six, I wrote my first story... 196 00:08:56,130 --> 00:08:57,580 about Wall Street. 197 00:08:57,780 --> 00:09:00,410 That tracks. 198 00:09:00,610 --> 00:09:01,500 When I was 12, 199 00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:03,190 I wrote my first novel. 200 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,320 Whenever I get down on myself, I read it. 201 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:09,330 It helps me remember what I'm meant to do. 202 00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:12,680 And that I can't do anything else. 203 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:20,820 Bartow? 204 00:09:22,430 --> 00:09:24,040 I don't think you understand how hurtful what you said was. 205 00:09:27,820 --> 00:09:29,870 I was uncareful with my words. 206 00:09:33,390 --> 00:09:34,790 I'm sorry, Bartow. 207 00:09:39,180 --> 00:09:40,400 We cool? 208 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:43,530 Yeah, we cool. 209 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:46,680 I'm just gonna need that in writing. 210 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:48,150 What? 211 00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:50,420 Your apology, 212 00:09:50,620 --> 00:09:51,810 I'm just gonna need that 213 00:09:52,010 --> 00:09:53,720 to be posted to the school newspaper's website. 214 00:09:55,020 --> 00:09:56,160 With a signature. 215 00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:59,510 Uh, an e-signature is fine, too. 216 00:10:02,510 --> 00:10:04,160 Would you accept an e-middle finger? 217 00:10:12,740 --> 00:10:14,050 Dean Rose called for you? 218 00:10:14,250 --> 00:10:15,440 - Okay. - Six times. 219 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:16,840 Uh-huh. 220 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:18,190 Should I try him for you? 221 00:10:18,390 --> 00:10:20,410 No. 222 00:10:20,610 --> 00:10:21,540 Did you get me yogurt? 223 00:10:21,740 --> 00:10:23,530 It's not your yogurt day. 224 00:10:25,230 --> 00:10:26,590 Yeah. 225 00:10:26,790 --> 00:10:29,410 [ "Jumping Strings" by Paolo Andriotti playing] 226 00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:36,630 [♪♪] 227 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:49,220 [Gracie] Damnit, Rourke, don't hide behind humor, 228 00:10:49,420 --> 00:10:50,520 as if you could... 229 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:52,610 [Hank, thinking] Why do grown-ups bother arguing? 230 00:10:52,810 --> 00:10:53,610 [Paul] Well, I'm smiling. 231 00:10:53,810 --> 00:10:54,960 I have been working... 232 00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:56,440 [Hank, thinking] Haven't we learned 233 00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:57,750 what the advertising world figured out long ago, 234 00:10:57,950 --> 00:10:59,840 that, after age 49, 235 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:02,490 we're not changing our minds about anything? 236 00:11:02,690 --> 00:11:04,540 So, what's in it for people? 237 00:11:04,740 --> 00:11:06,450 A sexual charge? 238 00:11:06,650 --> 00:11:08,240 Actually, that sounds nice. 239 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:11,940 ...that it only finds oxygen when it's hurting a woman. 240 00:11:12,140 --> 00:11:13,810 It should be painfully clear to you by now, 241 00:11:14,010 --> 00:11:15,420 your time, sir, it's up. 242 00:11:15,620 --> 00:11:17,380 [Emma] Oh, boy, we're doing this. 243 00:11:17,580 --> 00:11:19,420 All right, let's all be careful here. 244 00:11:19,620 --> 00:11:20,810 I'll say anything I want. 245 00:11:21,010 --> 00:11:22,820 I can't be canceled, I have tenure. 246 00:11:23,020 --> 00:11:24,470 [Gracie] You're an ass. 247 00:11:24,670 --> 00:11:25,650 This is because of you 248 00:11:25,850 --> 00:11:27,390 and your childish outburst in class. 249 00:11:27,590 --> 00:11:28,340 [Paul] No, no, no, no, no. 250 00:11:28,540 --> 00:11:30,040 It was inspired by him. 251 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:31,740 It was my idea. 252 00:11:31,940 --> 00:11:33,310 I want recognition. 253 00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:34,570 [speaking in French] "A partir du moment 254 00:11:34,770 --> 00:11:36,440 ouù l'absurdité est reconnue, 255 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:37,920 elle devient une passion." 256 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:39,350 Camus. It means-- 257 00:11:39,550 --> 00:11:40,490 Did you not get my email? 258 00:11:40,690 --> 00:11:42,660 I got a lot of emails this morning. 259 00:11:42,860 --> 00:11:44,750 I'll bet you did, Peckerhead. 260 00:11:44,950 --> 00:11:46,190 - [Gracie] Read your email. - [Hank] Why? 261 00:11:46,390 --> 00:11:48,100 Rourke submitted a new course request 262 00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:50,670 to the school website for public evaluation-- 263 00:11:50,870 --> 00:11:54,070 "The Accidental Wisdom of Mediocre Regional Writers". 264 00:11:54,260 --> 00:11:55,680 He put me on the syllabus! 265 00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:57,190 Are you not regional? 266 00:11:59,450 --> 00:12:01,640 Your choice to insult us all, 267 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,990 especially in an open forum, 268 00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:05,420 it's simply incorrect. 269 00:12:05,620 --> 00:12:07,210 We have no shortage of worthy scholars 270 00:12:07,410 --> 00:12:08,250 and published authors. 271 00:12:08,450 --> 00:12:09,250 [Hank] Name one. 272 00:12:09,450 --> 00:12:10,210 I'll name two-- 273 00:12:10,410 --> 00:12:12,300 myself... 274 00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:13,290 and perhaps Billie. 275 00:12:14,950 --> 00:12:16,350 My book of sonnets on Jonathan Swift 276 00:12:16,550 --> 00:12:18,700 has become the benchmark 277 00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:21,180 in early-feminist, 18th-century response poetry. 278 00:12:21,380 --> 00:12:23,270 You are deliberately trying 279 00:12:23,470 --> 00:12:24,840 to invalidate the last decade of my career. 280 00:12:25,030 --> 00:12:25,970 [Paul] Decade? 281 00:12:26,170 --> 00:12:28,530 That book came out 25 years ago, 282 00:12:28,730 --> 00:12:30,060 and I remember it distinctly, 283 00:12:30,260 --> 00:12:32,190 because the first email I ever got 284 00:12:32,390 --> 00:12:34,500 was a bill mistakenly sent from your self-publisher. 285 00:12:34,700 --> 00:12:37,060 Nobody was brave enough to publish that book. 286 00:12:37,260 --> 00:12:38,410 It was ahead of its time. 287 00:12:38,610 --> 00:12:39,550 Maybe you should have waited. 288 00:12:39,740 --> 00:12:40,720 - You-- - Ow! 289 00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:42,900 Oh, shit! Shit. 290 00:12:43,100 --> 00:12:44,410 Let go of the notebook. 291 00:12:45,590 --> 00:12:47,510 But it has original work in it. 292 00:12:47,710 --> 00:12:49,030 Not if it's yours. 293 00:12:49,230 --> 00:12:49,900 - You-- - Ow! 294 00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:50,980 Oh! 295 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:53,340 - Ew! - [Gracie] Oh, god, I'm sorry. 296 00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:54,600 I... 297 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,260 I-I... 298 00:12:57,460 --> 00:12:58,740 I-I didn't-- I didn't mean to. 299 00:12:58,940 --> 00:12:59,780 I... Are you...? 300 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,310 Going to sue? 301 00:13:01,510 --> 00:13:04,310 Yes! I want every penny from the sale of those poems. 302 00:13:04,510 --> 00:13:07,270 You can put all of them in this tiny pocket. 303 00:13:07,470 --> 00:13:09,660 [ "Yulelé" by Eduardo Mateo playing] 304 00:13:09,860 --> 00:13:12,400 Jill from Jacob Rose's office called again? 305 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:14,010 Dean Rose would like to see you right away? 306 00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:15,710 Tell them I have a class. 307 00:13:15,910 --> 00:13:17,240 I said that? 308 00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:18,890 She said right after class? 309 00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:20,800 Oh. Then I have another class. 310 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,680 Then I said that? 311 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:24,160 Then she said 312 00:13:24,350 --> 00:13:26,100 that it better not be racquetball with Tony? 313 00:13:27,450 --> 00:13:28,680 And then I said, 314 00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:30,070 "Have you ever been asked to cover for your boss 315 00:13:30,270 --> 00:13:31,290 when he was doing something 316 00:13:31,490 --> 00:13:33,120 he didn't want people to know about?" 317 00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:34,770 Then she got real quiet. 318 00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:40,210 Hey, Daniel. 319 00:13:40,410 --> 00:13:42,780 I hope you brought enough vape pens for everyone. 320 00:13:42,980 --> 00:13:43,830 [rapid footsteps approaching] 321 00:13:44,030 --> 00:13:45,520 Did you just run? 322 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:46,830 [exhales] 323 00:13:47,030 --> 00:13:48,440 Are you ready to handle this Calvin situation? 324 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:51,430 You shouldn't be so excited about expelling a kid. 325 00:13:54,180 --> 00:13:56,320 He disrupts my class, he throws things-- 326 00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:57,880 Don't talk about how disruptive my son is 327 00:13:58,080 --> 00:13:59,800 when it's your job to control your class. 328 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,450 No. It's my job to teach, 329 00:14:02,650 --> 00:14:04,060 and I can't do my job 330 00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:06,070 if I'm spending 80% of my energy trying to control her kid-- 331 00:14:06,270 --> 00:14:08,420 Do you know that most chocolate has vegetable oil in it? 332 00:14:08,620 --> 00:14:09,410 Or even animal fat? 333 00:14:10,410 --> 00:14:11,940 Lily, please. 334 00:14:12,140 --> 00:14:12,940 Look, we're here to talk about Calvin 335 00:14:13,140 --> 00:14:14,120 and what to do 336 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:14,950 at this important juncture in his life, 337 00:14:15,140 --> 00:14:16,770 but first, just hear me out. 338 00:14:16,970 --> 00:14:19,560 France regulates chocolate. 339 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:22,170 They don't allow anything but pure cocoa liquor, 340 00:14:22,370 --> 00:14:24,820 which is what gives chocolate its rich, delicious flavor. 341 00:14:25,020 --> 00:14:26,740 France, by law, 342 00:14:26,940 --> 00:14:29,350 says that there must be at least 40%, 343 00:14:29,550 --> 00:14:30,570 but that's not nearly good enough 344 00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:32,000 for La Maison du Chocolat. 345 00:14:33,220 --> 00:14:36,140 This was flown in from France last week, 346 00:14:36,340 --> 00:14:37,520 and I'd like to share some of it with you. 347 00:14:44,180 --> 00:14:45,450 Before you eat it, 348 00:14:45,650 --> 00:14:47,530 I want you to, um, feel it in your hand. 349 00:14:48,970 --> 00:14:50,360 Just, like, feel the weight of it. 350 00:14:51,540 --> 00:14:53,110 And then, place it on your tongue, 351 00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:54,280 and keep it there. 352 00:14:56,890 --> 00:14:57,890 Let it melt in your mouth. 353 00:14:58,980 --> 00:15:01,030 It's amazing, right? 354 00:15:01,230 --> 00:15:02,510 Michelle, you're an excellent teacher. 355 00:15:02,710 --> 00:15:04,380 And you are clearly a loving and caring mother. 356 00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:07,170 Look, you want Calvin expelled from school, 357 00:15:07,370 --> 00:15:09,300 that's not feasible, 358 00:15:09,500 --> 00:15:11,690 but he doesn't have to take biology this year. 359 00:15:12,910 --> 00:15:13,690 He could make it up in summer school. 360 00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:17,750 I feel a little manipulated by this delicious chocolate. 361 00:15:17,950 --> 00:15:18,910 Yeah, I feel the same. 362 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,220 There's common ground. 363 00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:29,240 I liked what you said. 364 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:30,500 This place sucks. 365 00:15:30,700 --> 00:15:32,140 It should be shut down. 366 00:15:38,580 --> 00:15:39,770 Hey, Jill. 367 00:15:39,970 --> 00:15:41,250 He said he'd like you to read this, 368 00:15:41,450 --> 00:15:42,500 and then go right in. 369 00:15:45,980 --> 00:15:47,210 Polite note. 370 00:15:47,410 --> 00:15:49,780 May I keep this for my collection of memorabilia 371 00:15:49,980 --> 00:15:52,130 of times when people were being polite to me, 372 00:15:52,330 --> 00:15:54,090 only to be setting a trap of some sort? 373 00:15:54,290 --> 00:15:55,920 I don't think it matters. 374 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:57,350 Well, nothing matters. 375 00:15:57,550 --> 00:15:58,960 That can't be our standard. 376 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:01,180 It tells me a lot that you drove all this way. 377 00:16:01,380 --> 00:16:02,400 I appreciate that. 378 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:03,400 You take it seriously. 379 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:04,840 Because, guess what? 380 00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:06,060 I take it seriously, and we should take it seriously. 381 00:16:06,260 --> 00:16:08,320 Are we upset? You betcha. 382 00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:09,280 But what you have to understand 383 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:11,670 is that Hank is going through 384 00:16:11,870 --> 00:16:14,720 a rough patch with his diverticulitis. 385 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:18,200 Infected and inflamed pouches bulging from his colon. 386 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:21,070 Complete bowel Armageddon. 387 00:16:21,270 --> 00:16:23,550 Is it an excuse? No, of course not. 388 00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:24,940 Of course it isn't. 389 00:16:25,140 --> 00:16:27,120 He may not take that out on your son, 390 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,250 and everyone agrees with that, 391 00:16:29,450 --> 00:16:30,380 especially Hank. 392 00:16:32,810 --> 00:16:34,600 So we're on the same page. 393 00:16:35,900 --> 00:16:37,610 Bowel Armageddon? Really? 394 00:16:37,810 --> 00:16:39,700 Hank, this article, this is bad. 395 00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:41,470 I'm sure they twisted my words. 396 00:16:43,350 --> 00:16:44,400 Oh. 397 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:46,480 No, that's pretty much verbatim. 398 00:16:48,570 --> 00:16:50,270 Well, they were ganging up on me. 399 00:16:50,470 --> 00:16:51,360 They don't mention that. 400 00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:53,280 Every phone call I've had today? 401 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,500 Board members demanding that I kick your butt off campus. 402 00:16:55,700 --> 00:16:56,760 Maybe you explain to them 403 00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:58,630 just how powerless your position really is? 404 00:16:58,830 --> 00:16:59,670 I think they'll understand. 405 00:16:59,870 --> 00:17:00,980 I wish I could. 406 00:17:01,180 --> 00:17:02,110 It would make my life a whole lot easier. 407 00:17:02,310 --> 00:17:04,240 Well, I think it's a good thing. 408 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:05,680 I put it out there. 409 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:07,730 Maybe Railton can become a beacon, 410 00:17:07,930 --> 00:17:10,820 a refuge now for really, really lazy students. 411 00:17:11,020 --> 00:17:13,690 Just apologize to the kid and his parents, 412 00:17:13,890 --> 00:17:15,170 make this go away. I don't need this today. 413 00:17:15,370 --> 00:17:16,780 No, I am not apologizing. 414 00:17:16,980 --> 00:17:19,350 I mean, unless you name a building after me-- 415 00:17:19,550 --> 00:17:20,830 and not a dorm. 416 00:17:21,030 --> 00:17:23,570 I don't want any of these idiots sleeping in my building. 417 00:17:23,770 --> 00:17:24,660 [Jill] Jacob? 418 00:17:24,860 --> 00:17:26,140 The President's on. 419 00:17:26,340 --> 00:17:27,660 You tell him I'm not sorry. 420 00:17:27,860 --> 00:17:29,010 Hank! 421 00:17:29,210 --> 00:17:30,710 This is not about you and your little situation. 422 00:17:30,910 --> 00:17:32,660 I'll take it in the conference room. 423 00:17:32,860 --> 00:17:33,840 Please tell the William-Stevenses 424 00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:35,050 that I'll be back momentarily. 425 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:43,370 Did Gracie really deserve all that teasing? 426 00:17:43,570 --> 00:17:44,760 [Hank] "Deserve". 427 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:47,200 You don't still believe in "deserve", do you? 428 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,720 It's an unfair world, 429 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:50,850 I'm not going to even things up with a few kind acts. 430 00:17:52,940 --> 00:17:55,300 You know... 431 00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:56,380 tenure doesn't mean 432 00:17:56,580 --> 00:17:57,690 you can't get smacked in the face. 433 00:17:57,890 --> 00:18:00,520 No, it just means I can never, ever be fired. 434 00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:02,040 It doesn't mean that, either. 435 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:03,560 It kinda feels like it. 436 00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:07,180 So you're trying to get fired with no hope of success? 437 00:18:07,380 --> 00:18:08,530 You think I'm trying to get fired? 438 00:18:08,730 --> 00:18:11,090 Did you apologize to the kid? 439 00:18:11,290 --> 00:18:12,560 For what? 440 00:18:14,610 --> 00:18:15,750 You don't think this has anything to do 441 00:18:15,950 --> 00:18:16,880 with that article 442 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:18,060 you're pretending not to carry around? 443 00:18:18,260 --> 00:18:19,580 I'm not carrying anything around. 444 00:18:19,780 --> 00:18:20,710 No? 445 00:18:20,910 --> 00:18:21,800 So if I just-- 446 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,280 No, no! 447 00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:24,630 It might be there. 448 00:18:24,830 --> 00:18:25,930 I don't know. 449 00:18:27,970 --> 00:18:28,890 My father retires. 450 00:18:30,190 --> 00:18:31,160 It's a major thing. 451 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:32,330 Big enough 452 00:18:32,530 --> 00:18:33,590 for the biggest newspaper in the country 453 00:18:33,790 --> 00:18:35,070 to put it on the cover of the arts section. 454 00:18:35,270 --> 00:18:36,240 Good for him. 455 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:39,250 Also, I find out about it 456 00:18:39,450 --> 00:18:41,560 from the cover of the arts section. 457 00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:43,870 Good for me. 458 00:18:44,070 --> 00:18:45,390 And this makes you feel...? 459 00:18:45,590 --> 00:18:46,420 Nothing. 460 00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:48,570 And that outburst in class? 461 00:18:48,770 --> 00:18:50,170 Was unrelated. 462 00:18:51,390 --> 00:18:52,480 In fact, it felt good. 463 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:54,490 I told the truth. 464 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:55,620 I think I inspired myself. 465 00:18:55,820 --> 00:18:57,750 To tell the truth more? 466 00:18:57,950 --> 00:18:58,780 That's not good. 467 00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:01,490 To work on my novel. 468 00:19:01,690 --> 00:19:04,060 Oh, great! 469 00:19:04,260 --> 00:19:06,020 Well, I love it when you start your second novel. 470 00:19:06,220 --> 00:19:09,230 It's usually a wonderful time in our marriage. 471 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:12,280 How was your day? 472 00:19:15,370 --> 00:19:16,810 [Lily] Julie's coming over. 473 00:19:17,010 --> 00:19:18,420 I don't know why. 474 00:19:18,620 --> 00:19:20,290 [ "Jumping Strings" by Paolo Andriotti playing] 475 00:19:20,490 --> 00:19:21,640 [Hank, thinking] I know why. 476 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:23,120 It's these damn kids. 477 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:26,300 They don't hate their parents-- 478 00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:28,130 at least not enough 479 00:19:28,330 --> 00:19:30,130 to never ask them for anything again. 480 00:19:30,330 --> 00:19:31,470 Yeah, I got it. 481 00:19:33,300 --> 00:19:34,390 The trouble is, 482 00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:36,530 my generation of parents-- 483 00:19:36,730 --> 00:19:40,400 we can't let our kids feel any pain in any way. 484 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,790 It's a sick cycle, 485 00:19:42,990 --> 00:19:44,400 but to stop, 486 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,670 that would take courage and conviction. 487 00:19:46,870 --> 00:19:49,540 No. No way. It's your turn. 488 00:19:49,740 --> 00:19:51,540 I can't ask my mother for money twice in six months. 489 00:19:51,740 --> 00:19:52,500 I can't do that. 490 00:19:52,700 --> 00:19:53,590 Why not? 491 00:19:53,790 --> 00:19:54,630 She just became a general manager. 492 00:19:54,830 --> 00:19:56,200 Yeah, of a Circle K! 493 00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:57,670 - It's not fair! - Fine! 494 00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:00,860 I know my dad. 495 00:20:01,060 --> 00:20:02,290 He's gonna hold this against me. 496 00:20:02,490 --> 00:20:03,470 Well, your mom's the one 497 00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:04,900 who handles all the finances, right? 498 00:20:05,100 --> 00:20:05,990 He's probably not even going to notice 499 00:20:06,190 --> 00:20:07,030 that she lent us the money. 500 00:20:08,110 --> 00:20:09,170 That's true. 501 00:20:09,370 --> 00:20:10,770 He doesn't notice anything. 502 00:20:13,510 --> 00:20:15,480 When she gave me our Cancun money, 503 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:16,780 she said if I borrowed money again, 504 00:20:16,980 --> 00:20:19,530 she'd make me sit down and learn Quicken. 505 00:20:19,730 --> 00:20:20,750 Which isn't me, you know? 506 00:20:20,940 --> 00:20:22,530 I know... 507 00:20:22,730 --> 00:20:23,700 I know. 508 00:20:25,180 --> 00:20:26,050 It's gotta be my dad. 509 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:35,720 It's about respect. 510 00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:38,460 Gracie, why does this stuff still bother you? 511 00:20:38,660 --> 00:20:39,850 You know who he is. 512 00:20:40,050 --> 00:20:41,200 Why something is wrong 513 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:43,240 isn't relevant to making it right. 514 00:20:44,630 --> 00:20:45,860 I can't do anything about it. 515 00:20:46,060 --> 00:20:46,950 Of course not. 516 00:20:47,140 --> 00:20:48,250 Hank's chair of the department. 517 00:20:48,450 --> 00:20:50,340 Course review falls under his purview. 518 00:20:50,540 --> 00:20:52,690 As long as he's chair, 519 00:20:52,890 --> 00:20:54,870 there can't be any serious action 520 00:20:55,070 --> 00:20:56,560 taken against him or anyone else. 521 00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:58,130 "As long as he's chair"? 522 00:20:58,330 --> 00:20:59,180 Seriously? 523 00:20:59,370 --> 00:21:00,910 Hank's your problem, too. 524 00:21:02,730 --> 00:21:05,390 I mean, there is a person there. 525 00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:13,270 There was a time you couldn't resist me. 526 00:21:17,100 --> 00:21:18,010 No one could. 527 00:21:20,490 --> 00:21:22,070 Excuse the interruption. 528 00:21:22,270 --> 00:21:23,760 The president's office said to let you know 529 00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:25,550 that he explained the urgency of the situation 530 00:21:25,750 --> 00:21:26,720 to the board chair, 531 00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:28,590 and the trustees will convene next week. 532 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:31,080 When you find out when it is, 533 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:32,430 please clear that day. 534 00:21:32,630 --> 00:21:33,680 [Jill] Will do. 535 00:21:38,340 --> 00:21:40,740 This isn't about hitting Hank with the notebook? 536 00:21:40,940 --> 00:21:41,780 Because he-- 537 00:21:41,980 --> 00:21:44,660 he walked into it a bit. 538 00:21:44,850 --> 00:21:47,960 One day, I'm going to meet an English professor 539 00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:49,270 who understands that the world 540 00:21:49,470 --> 00:21:51,920 is full of lots of people and ideas... 541 00:21:52,120 --> 00:21:53,750 You could just say yes or no. 542 00:21:53,950 --> 00:21:55,130 There's no need to be insulting. 543 00:21:56,660 --> 00:21:58,230 Is it about Rourke's new course? 544 00:21:58,430 --> 00:21:59,230 Oh, my god. 545 00:22:02,750 --> 00:22:03,980 [Gracie] I'm telling you guys, 546 00:22:04,180 --> 00:22:05,980 this is the best thing for our department. 547 00:22:06,180 --> 00:22:08,200 Gracie, this is very serious, 548 00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:09,680 and I have to say, 549 00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:12,730 we don't feel comfortable plotting behind Hank's back. 550 00:22:12,930 --> 00:22:14,210 This is a good idea. 551 00:22:14,410 --> 00:22:15,460 Okay. Let's see what we can get. 552 00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:19,730 This isn't something we should take lightly, 553 00:22:19,930 --> 00:22:22,300 and it is the best thing for the students, too. 554 00:22:22,500 --> 00:22:23,740 Gosh, Gracie, 555 00:22:23,940 --> 00:22:26,170 it seems like a lot of risk for not a lot of reward. 556 00:22:26,370 --> 00:22:29,830 Okay, if you support Hank's de-chairing, 557 00:22:30,030 --> 00:22:31,950 I'll switch places with you on the sabbatical waitlist. 558 00:22:35,650 --> 00:22:38,010 [train whistle blowing] 559 00:22:38,210 --> 00:22:41,140 [phone buzzing] 560 00:22:44,790 --> 00:22:46,140 Hank, your phone. 561 00:22:51,630 --> 00:22:53,030 Yeah? 562 00:22:53,230 --> 00:22:54,680 [Billie] Hello, Spanky. 563 00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:55,900 Billie. 564 00:22:56,100 --> 00:22:57,160 How drunk are you? 565 00:22:57,360 --> 00:22:59,160 Plenty, but it's none of your damn business, 566 00:22:59,360 --> 00:23:00,120 you son of a bitch. 567 00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:01,340 Hey, did you write 568 00:23:01,540 --> 00:23:03,040 that recommendation for my daughter? 569 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:04,390 I will. 570 00:23:04,590 --> 00:23:06,690 You will not. 571 00:23:06,890 --> 00:23:08,220 I don't want Meg living 572 00:23:08,420 --> 00:23:09,130 this damn life 573 00:23:09,330 --> 00:23:10,860 in this damn town. 574 00:23:12,950 --> 00:23:15,180 Ugh. What do you know about raising a kid? 575 00:23:15,380 --> 00:23:16,350 You didn't even have a dad. 576 00:23:17,610 --> 00:23:18,840 I did. 577 00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:20,530 You were in diapers when that shithead left. 578 00:23:20,730 --> 00:23:22,190 I was 14. 579 00:23:22,390 --> 00:23:24,490 You didn't even send your daughter to college. 580 00:23:24,690 --> 00:23:25,930 What the hell is her name? 581 00:23:26,130 --> 00:23:28,400 I'd prefer you didn't bring up my daughter. 582 00:23:33,490 --> 00:23:34,770 Billie? 583 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:35,970 You there? 584 00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:39,330 How come you always let me talk to you like this? 585 00:23:43,500 --> 00:23:46,390 Look, just don't write the recommendation, 586 00:23:46,590 --> 00:23:47,560 even though who knows 587 00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:48,900 what it's gonna be worth after tomorrow. 588 00:23:50,550 --> 00:23:51,520 Tomorrow? 589 00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:52,900 What happens tomorrow? 590 00:23:54,210 --> 00:23:55,690 So you're gonna be de-chaired? 591 00:23:57,170 --> 00:23:58,310 And then what does that mean? 592 00:23:58,510 --> 00:23:59,620 [Hank] De-chaired. 593 00:23:59,820 --> 00:24:01,180 I think 594 00:24:01,380 --> 00:24:03,090 it's an outpatient procedure these days. 595 00:24:04,530 --> 00:24:06,750 Well, if I'm no longer chair, 596 00:24:06,950 --> 00:24:09,540 it's easier to fire me, 597 00:24:09,740 --> 00:24:12,980 and if I get fired, 598 00:24:13,180 --> 00:24:15,450 that's the end of my academic career. 599 00:24:21,060 --> 00:24:22,060 You're smiling. 600 00:24:23,670 --> 00:24:24,850 Am I? 601 00:24:27,550 --> 00:24:29,560 Is that, um, opportunity 602 00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:30,910 for you to be 603 00:24:31,110 --> 00:24:33,770 assistant head of school at Arlyle still possible? 604 00:24:34,950 --> 00:24:35,770 Seriously? 605 00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:39,950 Um... 606 00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:44,360 I mean, that was months ago, so I don't... 607 00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:45,620 I don't know. 608 00:24:45,820 --> 00:24:47,050 I mean... 609 00:24:47,250 --> 00:24:48,440 Yeah, I could ask. 610 00:24:50,610 --> 00:24:51,620 New York. 611 00:24:52,750 --> 00:24:54,630 God. 612 00:24:54,830 --> 00:24:56,140 Could it finally be time? 613 00:24:58,580 --> 00:25:00,930 MOMA, instead of Roger's Art. 614 00:25:02,580 --> 00:25:04,330 Peter Luger's instead of Outback. 615 00:25:04,530 --> 00:25:05,980 Mm... 616 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:09,940 I mean, we'd be a little close to your father. 617 00:25:11,110 --> 00:25:12,640 It's a city of eight million people. 618 00:25:13,770 --> 00:25:15,690 I think I can avoid him. 619 00:25:15,890 --> 00:25:17,780 I don't know. 620 00:25:17,980 --> 00:25:19,820 We saw Catherine Keener twice. 621 00:25:24,210 --> 00:25:25,350 Do you know you make a move 622 00:25:25,550 --> 00:25:28,400 every time I say "Catherine Keener"? 623 00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:30,520 Keep saying it, see what it gets you. 624 00:25:43,010 --> 00:25:43,850 [phone buzzing] 625 00:25:44,050 --> 00:25:45,550 Yes? 626 00:25:45,750 --> 00:25:47,770 [woman] Hi. Am I speaking with Professor Devereaux Jr.? 627 00:25:47,970 --> 00:25:49,030 Just Professor Devereaux. 628 00:25:49,230 --> 00:25:50,550 I've never had any confusion. 629 00:25:50,750 --> 00:25:52,640 Yes. Hello, Professor Devereaux. 630 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:54,640 This is Marnie Cole from your father's office. 631 00:25:57,810 --> 00:26:00,550 Um, I hate to bother you like this, but... 632 00:26:01,770 --> 00:26:03,130 Yeah? 633 00:26:03,330 --> 00:26:04,520 Stephanie asked me to call 634 00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:06,050 and let you know that she has left your father. 635 00:26:06,250 --> 00:26:07,700 Stephanie? Is that the maid? 636 00:26:07,900 --> 00:26:09,270 She's his wife. 637 00:26:09,470 --> 00:26:13,050 Uh, okay, well, I guess he'll have to get a third wife. 638 00:26:13,250 --> 00:26:14,660 Well, that was his third wife. 639 00:26:14,860 --> 00:26:17,010 Well, I wish her well then. 640 00:26:17,210 --> 00:26:20,320 So, it's not an ideal time for him to be alone. 641 00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:22,410 I think maybe he could use some help. 642 00:26:22,610 --> 00:26:24,370 Marnie, um, I'm sorry. 643 00:26:24,570 --> 00:26:25,890 In the future, 644 00:26:26,090 --> 00:26:27,760 could you leave messages like this 645 00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:29,770 with my assistant in my office, okay? 646 00:26:29,970 --> 00:26:31,420 'Cause this is my personal cell. 647 00:26:31,620 --> 00:26:34,160 This is only for friends and work and family 648 00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:35,820 and marketing calls. 649 00:26:36,020 --> 00:26:37,430 Okay? You have that other number? 650 00:26:37,630 --> 00:26:40,170 I do, but he is your family. 651 00:26:40,370 --> 00:26:41,820 Well, then he can call me. 652 00:26:42,020 --> 00:26:43,730 That would be the first time in 15 years. 653 00:26:47,380 --> 00:26:49,700 I'm submitting an alternate budget. 654 00:26:49,900 --> 00:26:50,870 Good. 655 00:26:51,070 --> 00:26:53,040 The first one was so boring. 656 00:26:57,090 --> 00:26:59,190 Could you run the freshman requirements 657 00:26:59,390 --> 00:27:03,840 and service a major with five professors, or... 658 00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:06,230 or four professors and add a few more adjuncts? 659 00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:09,720 I need an answer or I'm just gonna guess. 660 00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:10,720 Oh... 661 00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:12,770 this is fun. 662 00:27:12,970 --> 00:27:14,670 I like that we do this every year. 663 00:27:15,850 --> 00:27:16,860 You know, we could skip the stage 664 00:27:17,060 --> 00:27:17,810 where you threaten cuts 665 00:27:18,010 --> 00:27:18,860 and jump right to the part 666 00:27:19,060 --> 00:27:20,250 where you give me my full budget. 667 00:27:20,450 --> 00:27:22,210 I've got a fantasy pickleball league 668 00:27:22,410 --> 00:27:23,250 that's heating up. 669 00:27:23,450 --> 00:27:24,770 I don't have time for this. 670 00:27:26,860 --> 00:27:28,030 What? 671 00:27:30,300 --> 00:27:32,220 Jacob, what is it? 672 00:27:32,420 --> 00:27:33,660 You may have noticed 673 00:27:33,860 --> 00:27:36,920 that half the schools in the country are broke. 674 00:27:37,120 --> 00:27:39,140 I noticed they're going out to dinner less often. 675 00:27:39,340 --> 00:27:41,450 Well, think about 676 00:27:41,650 --> 00:27:44,270 what you can pull off with three fewer professors. 677 00:27:48,310 --> 00:27:50,620 If I'm still chair in an hour, I'll do that. 678 00:27:56,540 --> 00:27:58,640 Uh, first of all, 679 00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:00,070 I'd like to, um, 680 00:28:00,270 --> 00:28:01,160 I'd like to point out that, 681 00:28:01,360 --> 00:28:02,820 although I am completely agnostic 682 00:28:03,020 --> 00:28:04,820 as to the outcome of the vote that's about to take place-- 683 00:28:05,020 --> 00:28:06,170 Paul, can you join us? 684 00:28:06,370 --> 00:28:08,430 Thank you. Thank you. 685 00:28:08,630 --> 00:28:10,480 Um, I was asked... 686 00:28:10,670 --> 00:28:11,480 by Dean Rose-- 687 00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:13,090 Yeah, right. 688 00:28:13,290 --> 00:28:15,510 ...to call this meeting and motion for a vote. 689 00:28:21,650 --> 00:28:24,140 I heard that there was a vote to remove me as chair. 690 00:28:24,340 --> 00:28:26,140 I just-- I didn't want to miss it. 691 00:28:26,340 --> 00:28:27,540 Jesus, Billie. 692 00:28:27,740 --> 00:28:29,180 Oh, what's the goddamned difference? 693 00:28:36,710 --> 00:28:39,640 So, um, Professor Wheemer has agreed 694 00:28:39,830 --> 00:28:40,810 to run the proceedings. 695 00:28:41,010 --> 00:28:42,160 I didn't really. 696 00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:43,680 [Billie] Weiner? 697 00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:44,680 She's not a professor. 698 00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:46,030 She shows movies. 699 00:28:46,230 --> 00:28:47,380 How is that teaching? 700 00:28:47,580 --> 00:28:48,690 She's a projectionist. 701 00:28:48,890 --> 00:28:50,780 Okay, it's "Wheemer" with an "M", 702 00:28:50,980 --> 00:28:53,520 and I don't want to be running these proceedings. 703 00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:54,690 I shouldn't. 704 00:28:54,890 --> 00:28:56,040 It's not fair. 705 00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:57,350 People around the world 706 00:28:57,550 --> 00:28:58,830 don't have access to free speech, 707 00:28:59,030 --> 00:29:00,740 and I should just feel free 708 00:29:00,940 --> 00:29:03,830 to go on about calls and recounts and whatnot? 709 00:29:04,030 --> 00:29:05,270 It's obscene. 710 00:29:05,470 --> 00:29:06,960 Okay, thanks, we got it. Go, now. 711 00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:11,540 Okay, we're here for a no-confidence vote 712 00:29:11,740 --> 00:29:13,320 for the chair of the department, 713 00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:14,890 for certain events 714 00:29:15,090 --> 00:29:16,500 that have transpired over the past few days, 715 00:29:16,700 --> 00:29:20,750 and how he's conducted himself in regards to those events. 716 00:29:22,410 --> 00:29:23,720 Would the accused 717 00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:24,850 like to say anything in his defense before the vote? 718 00:29:25,050 --> 00:29:26,810 The accused? 719 00:29:27,010 --> 00:29:28,160 It was a good flick. 720 00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:30,080 Jodie Foster. She won an Oscar for that film. 721 00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:31,820 We watch it in my gender-analysis film class. 722 00:29:32,020 --> 00:29:34,120 New Bedford Chamber of Commerce hated that movie. 723 00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:35,080 It killed the Moby Dick tours. 724 00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:36,430 Okay, can we please--? 725 00:29:36,630 --> 00:29:40,030 Yes, the accused would like to make a statement. 726 00:29:43,300 --> 00:29:45,270 The kid that I yelled at... 727 00:29:45,470 --> 00:29:46,750 okay... 728 00:29:46,950 --> 00:29:48,620 he killed my governess. 729 00:29:48,820 --> 00:29:49,790 This is many years ago, 730 00:29:49,990 --> 00:29:53,140 and I vowed revenge, and now I have it, 731 00:29:53,340 --> 00:29:56,620 and it feels empty in the way that novels predict. 732 00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:07,510 The question at hand is a simple aye or nay. 733 00:30:07,700 --> 00:30:10,550 Should Hank be removed from the chair? 734 00:30:10,750 --> 00:30:11,640 "Aye" means "yes". 735 00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:12,810 Can you just say yes? 736 00:30:14,070 --> 00:30:15,210 [Emma] Short answer, yes with caveats. 737 00:30:15,410 --> 00:30:16,780 It requires a vote. 738 00:30:16,980 --> 00:30:17,910 You can make that motion, 739 00:30:18,110 --> 00:30:19,650 but not until a call for new business. 740 00:30:19,850 --> 00:30:21,520 And I assume you can get it seconded. 741 00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:24,570 I second the motion that "aye" means "yes". 742 00:30:24,770 --> 00:30:26,920 Well, there hasn't been a call for new business. 743 00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:28,270 I literally just explained that. 744 00:30:28,460 --> 00:30:29,610 Jesus Christ, guys. 745 00:30:29,810 --> 00:30:31,180 "Aye" it is! 746 00:30:31,380 --> 00:30:32,490 So an aye for an aye then? 747 00:30:32,690 --> 00:30:33,570 [laughs] 748 00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:41,970 [Hank, thinking] The firing squad. 749 00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:46,070 They never sent one person-- it's a squad. 750 00:30:46,270 --> 00:30:49,200 The group effort makes it more of a bonding event-- 751 00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:53,150 like lions ripping apart a scared gazelle. 752 00:30:54,460 --> 00:30:55,950 A pride. 753 00:30:56,140 --> 00:30:56,890 Good times. 754 00:30:58,070 --> 00:30:59,340 Okay, that's one aye, 755 00:30:59,540 --> 00:31:00,950 a nay, 756 00:31:01,150 --> 00:31:02,910 another aye... 757 00:31:03,110 --> 00:31:04,650 another aye, 758 00:31:04,850 --> 00:31:06,990 and that's it. 759 00:31:08,690 --> 00:31:10,600 That's three ayes, a nay, and the rest abstain. 760 00:31:11,950 --> 00:31:13,000 Well, the ayes have it. 761 00:31:14,650 --> 00:31:16,130 Hank is officially removed as the chair. 762 00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:20,140 [June] Wait. 763 00:31:20,340 --> 00:31:21,960 Who is the next chair? 764 00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:27,150 [Gracie] Why... 765 00:31:27,350 --> 00:31:30,500 so why don't we take some time to discuss, 766 00:31:30,700 --> 00:31:33,630 and meet again tomorrow, same time? 767 00:31:35,190 --> 00:31:38,280 [ "Love Is Like The Sea" by Peter Neri playing] 768 00:31:40,890 --> 00:31:44,860 [♪♪] 769 00:31:45,060 --> 00:31:48,910 ♪ Love is like the sea 770 00:31:49,110 --> 00:31:54,000 ♪ It carries you back where you came from ♪ 771 00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:57,440 ♪ Love is like the cloud 772 00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:02,450 ♪ Fading away but it comes again ♪ 773 00:32:02,650 --> 00:32:06,220 [♪♪] 774 00:32:12,930 --> 00:32:16,970 [♪♪] 775 00:32:19,980 --> 00:32:22,380 [Hank] I guess I finally sunk my own battleship. 776 00:32:22,580 --> 00:32:25,730 That's the first time I made the whole department happy. 777 00:32:25,930 --> 00:32:27,860 [Lily] Well, I wouldn't beat yourself up too hard. 778 00:32:28,060 --> 00:32:28,990 [Hank] Done. 779 00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:32,040 Because... 780 00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:33,650 I called Tom Leska... 781 00:32:33,850 --> 00:32:37,390 and they have not filled the position at Arlyle. 782 00:32:37,590 --> 00:32:38,920 He didn't exactly offer me the job, 783 00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:41,220 but he sure seemed to imply that I have a shot. 784 00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:43,570 Whoa. 785 00:32:43,770 --> 00:32:44,870 Yeah, I know. 786 00:32:51,700 --> 00:32:52,980 It's just... 787 00:32:53,170 --> 00:32:54,060 logistics. 788 00:32:54,260 --> 00:32:55,930 I mean, our-- 789 00:32:56,130 --> 00:32:57,200 our daughter's here, 790 00:32:57,400 --> 00:32:58,940 and my mom. 791 00:32:59,140 --> 00:33:00,240 There's a few things that we need-- 792 00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:01,420 we need to talk through, 793 00:33:01,620 --> 00:33:02,460 we need to work out. 794 00:33:02,660 --> 00:33:04,600 Don't. Don't. Don't do that. 795 00:33:04,790 --> 00:33:05,630 Don't do that. 796 00:33:11,590 --> 00:33:12,640 Actually, it's my fault. 797 00:33:15,550 --> 00:33:17,430 Where are you going? 798 00:33:17,630 --> 00:33:18,440 I'm going for a run. 799 00:33:18,630 --> 00:33:19,960 What? It's 11:00 p.m.. 800 00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:21,220 You already ran today. 801 00:33:21,420 --> 00:33:22,310 There's raccoons out there! 802 00:33:22,510 --> 00:33:23,440 Did you just make a joke? 803 00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:24,430 Uh-uh. 804 00:33:30,610 --> 00:33:32,140 I forgot 805 00:33:32,340 --> 00:33:34,190 that you aren't capable of leaving this town 806 00:33:34,390 --> 00:33:37,980 for reasons that will only be fully understood 807 00:33:38,180 --> 00:33:39,760 by your future therapist. 808 00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:41,720 I learned it years ago, 809 00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:42,720 I just forgot it. 810 00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:44,060 So shame on me. 811 00:33:55,510 --> 00:33:57,080 [Julie] Good morning. 812 00:33:57,280 --> 00:33:58,120 Hey. 813 00:34:00,340 --> 00:34:01,160 Um, I made coffee. 814 00:34:03,820 --> 00:34:05,570 Thanks. 815 00:34:05,770 --> 00:34:07,400 You came over here early in the morning 816 00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:08,750 to make me coffee? 817 00:34:08,950 --> 00:34:10,260 I just wanted to have breakfast with you guys. 818 00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:13,320 I was also going to tell you, 819 00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:17,060 um, I saw Stacey Rose at the supermarket yesterday. 820 00:34:17,260 --> 00:34:19,050 I don't know if Dean Rose mentioned that to you? 821 00:34:20,140 --> 00:34:21,280 [Hank] He didn't. 822 00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:22,800 [Julie] Well, she says hi. 823 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:24,190 She wants everyone to come over for dinner some time. 824 00:34:25,710 --> 00:34:26,840 The whole gang. 825 00:34:31,240 --> 00:34:33,030 Do you want to play Bananagrams? 826 00:34:33,230 --> 00:34:34,370 Do you remember when we used to do this before school? 827 00:34:36,290 --> 00:34:37,330 Yeah, sure. 828 00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:49,220 Oh, um... 829 00:34:49,420 --> 00:34:50,480 I was also going to tell you, 830 00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:51,700 Russell actually has 831 00:34:51,900 --> 00:34:53,310 a pretty interesting opportunity. 832 00:34:53,510 --> 00:34:54,840 Oh? 833 00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,530 Yeah, yeah, it's pretty exciting stuff, 834 00:34:57,730 --> 00:34:58,930 and it's really next level, 835 00:34:59,130 --> 00:35:00,490 and he can get in on the ground floor. 836 00:35:00,690 --> 00:35:01,970 Ground floor, that sounds-- 837 00:35:02,170 --> 00:35:04,060 that sounds a little low for next level. 838 00:35:04,260 --> 00:35:05,460 Are you sure he's got the right entrance? 839 00:35:05,650 --> 00:35:08,370 That is hilarious. 840 00:35:08,570 --> 00:35:09,810 Um... 841 00:35:10,010 --> 00:35:11,070 yeah, no, 842 00:35:11,270 --> 00:35:12,240 it would just require him 843 00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:13,200 not getting a paycheck for a while, 844 00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:14,330 is the thing. 845 00:35:14,530 --> 00:35:16,160 - Darn it. - Yeah. 846 00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:17,600 So we're just figuring out 847 00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:20,070 how to get from here to there in the meantime. 848 00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:23,080 You know what? 849 00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:24,120 I think I could help. 850 00:35:26,770 --> 00:35:28,520 Really? 851 00:35:28,720 --> 00:35:30,130 Yeah. I mean, my thought is 852 00:35:30,330 --> 00:35:32,740 what if Russell were to take a less interesting job, 853 00:35:32,940 --> 00:35:34,050 but one that paid right away? 854 00:35:34,250 --> 00:35:35,090 Dad! 855 00:35:35,290 --> 00:35:36,570 See, I'm doing the math, 856 00:35:36,770 --> 00:35:37,970 and I think that actually, that works great. 857 00:35:38,170 --> 00:35:39,100 You're not doing the math, you're being an asshole. 858 00:35:39,300 --> 00:35:40,270 Now is not a good time, okay, 859 00:35:40,470 --> 00:35:41,100 because I have to save for retirement. 860 00:35:41,300 --> 00:35:42,060 It's never a good time! 861 00:35:42,260 --> 00:35:43,100 I owe that to you, 862 00:35:43,300 --> 00:35:45,280 otherwise I become your dependent 863 00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:46,760 and live in your home. 864 00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:49,410 "Michael experienced 4:00 a.m. differently as an adult. 865 00:35:49,610 --> 00:35:51,760 The alarm clock used to mean hockey practice and friends, 866 00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:53,460 and now it means cows 867 00:35:53,660 --> 00:35:54,810 and the start of another shift on the ranch--" 868 00:35:55,010 --> 00:35:56,200 Okay, let's talk. 869 00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:59,160 You mean us, or--? 870 00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:01,460 Yeah, what do we all think of this letter from Bartow? 871 00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:04,340 Are you asking us? 872 00:36:04,540 --> 00:36:06,990 'Cause I think he made some pretty good points. 873 00:36:07,190 --> 00:36:08,810 Okay, name one. 874 00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:14,380 That we deserve a teacher who believes in us. 875 00:36:15,950 --> 00:36:17,220 That does sound nice. 876 00:36:17,420 --> 00:36:19,300 I mean, it's all in the letter, Professor. 877 00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:22,710 "I, Bartow Williams-Stevens, 878 00:36:22,910 --> 00:36:24,710 am compelled to write this open letter 879 00:36:24,910 --> 00:36:27,890 because you have humiliated me and I feel terrible." 880 00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:30,800 Okay, you don't have to say you feel terrible. 881 00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,800 That's a natural result of being humiliated, so... 882 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:35,810 repetitive. 883 00:36:36,010 --> 00:36:39,240 "I believe we deserve teachers who believe in us." 884 00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:40,770 That's a lot of believing. 885 00:36:40,970 --> 00:36:43,670 Overuse of a word diminishes its power. 886 00:36:47,720 --> 00:36:48,990 Well, it's terribly written, 887 00:36:49,190 --> 00:36:52,680 which is too bad because he makes some good points. 888 00:36:55,380 --> 00:36:57,120 [knocking on door] 889 00:36:58,730 --> 00:37:00,660 Calvin just broke a window in the east hallway. 890 00:37:00,860 --> 00:37:01,750 What? 891 00:37:01,940 --> 00:37:03,920 I told you. I said it. 892 00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:06,180 I said the kid needed to be expelled, 893 00:37:06,380 --> 00:37:07,880 and then you charmed us. 894 00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:10,190 The situation didn't need pacifying, 895 00:37:10,390 --> 00:37:12,150 it needed a hard action. 896 00:37:12,350 --> 00:37:13,230 You solved nothing. 897 00:37:22,190 --> 00:37:23,250 Can we make this quick 898 00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:25,540 because I lose my court in 15 minutes? 899 00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:30,030 "Hell is empty and all the devils are here." 900 00:37:30,230 --> 00:37:31,600 [Emma] Okay. 901 00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:33,040 Rules are a simple plurality wins. 902 00:37:33,240 --> 00:37:35,260 You may vote for anyone, including yourself. 903 00:37:35,460 --> 00:37:37,560 Once the votes are filled out and collected, 904 00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:38,870 there is no adjustment of the vote. 905 00:37:39,070 --> 00:37:40,700 It's final. 906 00:37:40,900 --> 00:37:42,960 Write along the line with words-- 907 00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:44,920 no doodles, Paul-- 908 00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:46,750 and fold it one time. 909 00:37:46,950 --> 00:37:47,910 No quarter folds. 910 00:37:49,350 --> 00:37:50,350 Okay, does everyone understand? 911 00:37:52,570 --> 00:37:54,580 Goddamnit, I need to hear a plurality of voices. 912 00:37:54,780 --> 00:37:55,580 [group, in unison] Aye. 913 00:37:55,780 --> 00:37:56,670 Hey! Look, you did it! 914 00:37:56,870 --> 00:37:57,660 All right, go ahead. 915 00:38:13,290 --> 00:38:14,600 All right. 916 00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:15,720 And here we go. 917 00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:18,510 One vote for June. 918 00:38:20,340 --> 00:38:21,430 One vote for Teddy. 919 00:38:21,630 --> 00:38:23,220 You voted for yourself? 920 00:38:23,420 --> 00:38:24,960 We agreed last night that-- 921 00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:26,920 Yes, we agreed to vote for me. 922 00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:28,480 Why would we agree to vote for you? 923 00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:29,750 - That makes no sense. - There are complications. 924 00:38:29,950 --> 00:38:31,230 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 925 00:38:31,430 --> 00:38:33,750 Can you do your evil scheming in your underground lair 926 00:38:33,950 --> 00:38:35,580 and not at work? 927 00:38:35,780 --> 00:38:36,790 One vote for me? 928 00:38:41,970 --> 00:38:44,630 One vote for "Hank. Ha ha, damn you all to hell." 929 00:38:44,830 --> 00:38:45,980 Damn you all to hell. 930 00:38:46,180 --> 00:38:48,110 One vote for a new iPad. 931 00:38:48,310 --> 00:38:50,720 These go to Santa eventually, right? 932 00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:51,890 One vote for Rourke. 933 00:38:53,410 --> 00:38:54,950 Don't mind if I do. 934 00:38:55,140 --> 00:38:55,940 [Emma] Yikes. 935 00:38:57,680 --> 00:38:58,980 And another vote for Hank. 936 00:39:03,380 --> 00:39:04,300 [Paul] Hank? 937 00:39:04,500 --> 00:39:06,170 Wait, what the hell just happened? 938 00:39:06,370 --> 00:39:07,610 I... 939 00:39:07,810 --> 00:39:10,960 I thought that I was throwing away my vote, 940 00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:14,360 um, as a form of abstaining, 941 00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:15,750 which, as you know 942 00:39:15,950 --> 00:39:17,360 from my essay, "The Art of Abstention"-- 943 00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:18,800 And that's it. 944 00:39:18,990 --> 00:39:20,480 [Teddy] Wait, what? 945 00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:25,320 Yeah, the only person with more than one vote is... 946 00:39:25,520 --> 00:39:26,660 Hank. 947 00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:32,580 Hank's our new chair. 948 00:39:34,110 --> 00:39:36,290 [Emma] A fresh term of three years begins... 949 00:39:36,490 --> 00:39:37,860 now. 950 00:39:38,060 --> 00:39:39,020 Sorry. 951 00:39:41,590 --> 00:39:44,810 [ "Free Love Sequence" by Danielle Luppi playing] 952 00:39:52,780 --> 00:39:54,660 - My point. - What? 953 00:39:54,860 --> 00:39:57,400 - Meniscus Rules. - But you could've got that! 954 00:39:57,600 --> 00:39:58,530 Not without taking a step. 955 00:39:58,730 --> 00:40:00,650 You could have tilted like a teapot. 956 00:40:03,270 --> 00:40:04,190 You're stepping now. 957 00:40:04,390 --> 00:40:06,840 To serve! It's different. 958 00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:08,400 Just once, I'd like to play fair. 959 00:40:15,500 --> 00:40:16,670 My point. 960 00:40:19,150 --> 00:40:20,550 I'm wondering 961 00:40:20,750 --> 00:40:22,900 if it's the forbidden nature of all the sexual politics 962 00:40:23,100 --> 00:40:25,380 that's making the sex better. 963 00:40:25,580 --> 00:40:27,820 There's more at risk. 964 00:40:28,020 --> 00:40:30,040 Maybe the sex is... 965 00:40:30,240 --> 00:40:32,650 exactly the same... 966 00:40:32,850 --> 00:40:34,040 and you're losing touch with your partner 967 00:40:34,240 --> 00:40:35,740 as a human being 968 00:40:35,940 --> 00:40:39,400 due to your advanced age and growing callousness. 969 00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:40,440 Yeah, I thought of that, 970 00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:42,050 but multiple women have told me 971 00:40:42,250 --> 00:40:44,140 I'm becoming a better fornicator. 972 00:40:44,340 --> 00:40:46,450 Multiple women. 973 00:40:46,650 --> 00:40:47,710 And there's nothing in it for them. 974 00:40:47,910 --> 00:40:48,830 They didn't have to say that. 975 00:40:54,010 --> 00:40:56,500 Why can't racquetball be most of the day, 976 00:40:56,700 --> 00:40:58,670 and then everything else is just one hour? 977 00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:02,380 Picture your perfect life. 978 00:41:02,580 --> 00:41:04,420 Put it on a tableau for me. 979 00:41:04,620 --> 00:41:05,940 Paint it on that wall. 980 00:41:07,370 --> 00:41:08,420 What do you see? 981 00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:14,380 [♪♪] 982 00:41:17,820 --> 00:41:20,000 I can't improve on that white wall. 983 00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:22,090 It's... 984 00:41:22,290 --> 00:41:23,780 it's-- it's soothing. 985 00:41:31,180 --> 00:41:33,450 I'm scared that... 986 00:41:33,650 --> 00:41:34,800 my father's retirement 987 00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:36,150 is going to upset 988 00:41:36,350 --> 00:41:37,930 this very delicate balance that we've achieved. 989 00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:41,410 He left and we don't speak. 990 00:41:43,580 --> 00:41:45,940 I think I'm feeling regret. 991 00:41:46,140 --> 00:41:47,420 All these years, 992 00:41:47,620 --> 00:41:49,980 I haven't fully appreciated all that I didn't have. 993 00:41:55,990 --> 00:41:57,600 Multiple women. 994 00:42:07,260 --> 00:42:09,300 - Hey, guess what? - I'm running. 995 00:42:26,630 --> 00:42:27,900 They made me chair again. 996 00:42:28,100 --> 00:42:29,290 Three more years. 997 00:42:29,490 --> 00:42:30,510 [ "I Started A Joke" by the Bee Gees playing] 998 00:42:30,710 --> 00:42:33,250 ♪ I started a joke 999 00:42:33,450 --> 00:42:37,030 ♪ Which started the whole world crying... ♪ 1000 00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:40,000 I'll see you at home. 1001 00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:42,210 ♪ ...But I didn't see... 1002 00:42:46,210 --> 00:42:48,950 ♪ ...That the joke was on me 1003 00:42:53,090 --> 00:42:55,710 I have this weird feeling you're gonna end up in jail. 1004 00:42:55,910 --> 00:42:57,350 Or the hospital. 1005 00:42:59,140 --> 00:43:01,450 Hey, hey, hey! This isn't my stuff. 1006 00:43:01,650 --> 00:43:02,710 Have a nice day. 1007 00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:06,500 Your ex-husband abandoned us. 1008 00:43:06,700 --> 00:43:07,970 He abandoned you. 1009 00:43:08,930 --> 00:43:10,770 I'm President Dickie Pope. 1010 00:43:10,970 --> 00:43:14,290 What is this guy up to? 1011 00:43:14,490 --> 00:43:15,990 My friend said there were gonna be cuts. 1012 00:43:16,190 --> 00:43:18,770 Can you not be yourself and be straight with us for one minute? 1013 00:43:18,970 --> 00:43:19,600 Do you hate it here? 1014 00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:20,690 I take the fifth. 1015 00:43:20,890 --> 00:43:23,560 Come on! You want a piece of this? 1016 00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:26,170 That man is chair of the English Department. 1017 00:43:26,370 --> 00:43:28,870 My anger has nowhere to go. 1018 00:43:29,070 --> 00:43:31,220 It's unhoused. 1019 00:43:31,420 --> 00:43:32,220 Jason! 1020 00:43:32,420 --> 00:43:33,570 I'm going to New York 1021 00:43:33,770 --> 00:43:34,960 to interview at the Arlyle School. 1022 00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:37,580 - My life is here. - Your life could move. 1023 00:43:37,780 --> 00:43:38,790 - My mom is here. - You aren't talking to her. 1024 00:43:38,990 --> 00:43:40,660 Iam here! 1025 00:43:43,010 --> 00:43:45,580 Hank, you know what? I think I can taste the paprika. 1026 00:43:45,780 --> 00:43:46,670 It's a treasure. 1027 00:43:46,870 --> 00:43:50,620 ♪ 1028 00:43:54,240 --> 00:43:58,110 [♪♪]