1 00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:08,467 Hey, Dad, welcome to Railton. 2 00:00:08,467 --> 00:00:11,137 Just a couple questions. 3 00:00:11,137 --> 00:00:13,431 How come you didn't come to my wedding? 4 00:00:13,431 --> 00:00:17,017 Or want to meet your only grandchild? 5 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:20,855 Or how could you abandon me 6 00:00:20,855 --> 00:00:23,065 when I had a rope around my neck? 7 00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:25,985 That's it, just those questions. 8 00:00:25,985 --> 00:00:28,988 Feel free to write your answers on a postcard 9 00:00:28,988 --> 00:00:31,323 and mail it to me. 10 00:00:32,450 --> 00:00:36,579 Then we can go back to avoiding each other. 11 00:01:53,197 --> 00:01:54,448 I'm coming in! 12 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,325 Dad! Get out! 13 00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:04,625 Hm... 14 00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:13,843 I almost took a shower with our daughter. 15 00:02:13,843 --> 00:02:15,469 She came in the night. 16 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:16,887 She slept in her old room. 17 00:02:16,887 --> 00:02:18,180 What's that about? 18 00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:19,431 Mm... 19 00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:22,059 {\an8}She didn't want to say, she wanted to sleep. 20 00:02:22,059 --> 00:02:23,769 {\an8}If we turned her room into a gym, 21 00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:25,020 {\an8}this wouldn't happen. 22 00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:27,189 {\an8}Or she'd get into great shape. 23 00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:29,316 {\an8}- Bright side. - Mm. 24 00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:37,950 - I saw my father on Tuesday. - What? 25 00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:42,454 I was in my car. I just wanted to get a glimpse. 26 00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:43,664 There he was. 27 00:02:46,292 --> 00:02:49,837 What did he say? Or just how... did it go? 28 00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,338 We didn't talk. 29 00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:53,173 {\an8}I don't want to be lied to, 30 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:58,053 {\an8}and I only want to know he's here because he's old, 31 00:02:58,053 --> 00:03:01,056 unemployed, and wants to be taken care of. 32 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,685 {\an8}- That's understandable. - I'm going for a run. 33 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,562 {\an8}- Great. - That's... important. 34 00:03:06,562 --> 00:03:07,980 Oh, it's my mom. 35 00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:09,607 {\an8}Oh, yeah, she's been calling me. 36 00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:11,025 {\an8}You too? 37 00:03:11,025 --> 00:03:14,028 - Did you talk to her? - No, I wouldn't know what to say to her. 38 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,825 Why haven't you answered my calls? 39 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:24,121 Because my, um, caller ID works. 40 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:28,125 {\an8}You hurt your father very badly, you know. 41 00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:30,169 {\an8}He played me the message you left. 42 00:03:30,169 --> 00:03:31,879 Oh, he's keeping my messages. 43 00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:33,339 {\an8}What message? 44 00:03:33,339 --> 00:03:35,090 I left a message for my dad. 45 00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:37,301 {\an8}I told him he's not welcome here in Railton. 46 00:03:37,301 --> 00:03:40,596 {\an8}It was a cruel thing to say. 47 00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:42,431 {\an8}It stung him very badly. 48 00:03:42,431 --> 00:03:44,433 It was so over the line, 49 00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:45,976 {\an8}Henry says he's leaving after the weekend. 50 00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:48,020 {\an8}He says he's going to North Carolina. 51 00:03:48,020 --> 00:03:50,105 North Carolina? What's in North Carolina? 52 00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:51,440 Oh, 53 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,817 a graduate student that he hasn't seduced yet. 54 00:03:53,817 --> 00:03:57,571 - Gruen. - What's that, the monster from Beowulf? 55 00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:59,073 His second wife. 56 00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:03,744 It would be a terrible situation for him, 57 00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:06,914 living out the last of his days 58 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:09,249 in a place he has no connection to, 59 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:12,336 far from any family... 60 00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:14,129 And the monster's Grendel. 61 00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:15,714 Well, you tell him to have a nice trip, 62 00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:18,926 and the monster is Grendel's mom. 63 00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:20,302 Hank! 64 00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:23,389 This is something that's very important to me. 65 00:04:23,889 --> 00:04:25,474 He'll leave for good 66 00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:28,143 if you don't come by and ask him to stay. 67 00:04:29,812 --> 00:04:31,480 I'm not going to do that. 68 00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:34,858 I'm asking you. 69 00:04:36,235 --> 00:04:37,945 Hank isn't available this weekend. 70 00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:40,906 He has a conference. 71 00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:42,950 Is that true? 72 00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:45,202 It's true I've been invited to a conference, 73 00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:46,662 in Harrisburg. 74 00:04:46,662 --> 00:04:49,039 Oh, you can skip that. 75 00:04:49,665 --> 00:04:51,583 You have a choice to make 76 00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:53,961 between your father 77 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:57,256 and an insignificant regional conference. 78 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:18,754 It's good for guys to have a thing. 79 00:06:18,754 --> 00:06:20,297 This conference is kind of our thing. 80 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,801 And the one year you decided to pull out 81 00:06:23,801 --> 00:06:25,135 is the one year I'm presenting. 82 00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:26,553 I was beginning to take it personally. 83 00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:29,348 Yeah, I've had a lot going on, you know. 84 00:06:29,348 --> 00:06:30,933 Oh, sure, sure, sure. 85 00:06:30,933 --> 00:06:33,310 It's just that you decided not to come weeks ago, 86 00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:34,853 like the minute you saw the program 87 00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:36,980 with my name and photo prominently displayed on it. 88 00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:38,941 - I did? - Mm-hm. 89 00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:41,777 I think we have a different definition of "prominent". 90 00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:43,362 It's page three. Page three is the best. 91 00:06:43,362 --> 00:06:44,738 Phew... 92 00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:47,116 I got two other pages that will knock your socks off. 93 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,743 Let's go. 94 00:06:51,662 --> 00:06:53,664 I hope I don't meet anyone from last year. 95 00:06:53,664 --> 00:06:55,207 - You probably won't. - Or the year before. 96 00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:59,211 Uh, Rosencrantz and Senor Guildenstern, please. 97 00:06:59,211 --> 00:07:00,629 How many times have you heard that today? 98 00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:02,339 Beats the Nietzsche brothers. 99 00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:03,674 No, it does not. 100 00:07:03,674 --> 00:07:05,843 Devereaux and Conigula. 101 00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:08,137 Go right to page three? 102 00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:10,639 Whoa, whoa. 103 00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:12,808 I did not know Gracie was going to be here. 104 00:07:12,808 --> 00:07:14,935 Quick, hand me my fake mustache. 105 00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,270 You've got a beard. 106 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:19,940 Right. So, my Austin Powers teeth. 107 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:22,234 You're too kind. Look at her, holding court. 108 00:07:22,234 --> 00:07:24,278 Wait till they find out she's an idiot. 109 00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:26,363 That Atlantic poem was a total fluke. 110 00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:27,656 It was one of those infinite monkey things? 111 00:07:27,656 --> 00:07:29,616 Infinite monkey? No. 112 00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:31,618 Twenty monkeys, 113 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:34,371 and they can take breaks, and they need one typewriter. 114 00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:36,582 They'll poop out that poem in ten minutes. 115 00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:38,917 Come on. - No, drinks first. Come on. 116 00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:40,127 I can't believe 117 00:07:40,252 --> 00:07:42,629 that was just your first poem published in The Atlantic. 118 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:45,090 - Wonderful. - And such specificity. 119 00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:46,967 Do you write with a pen or a scalpel? 120 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,844 Oh, please. 121 00:07:48,844 --> 00:07:50,888 You all honor me, truly. 122 00:07:50,888 --> 00:07:52,890 Honestly, I don't know what comes next. 123 00:07:52,890 --> 00:07:56,685 I'm just trying to slurp the marrow from the present moment. 124 00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:58,187 Poet laureate, 5:00. Dr. Grillo! 125 00:07:58,187 --> 00:07:59,354 What? 126 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:02,107 Ms. DuBois, when I read your poem in The Atlantic, 127 00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:03,817 I revisited your book of sonnets. 128 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:07,029 I've added it to the syllabus for my spring seminar. 129 00:08:07,029 --> 00:08:09,489 I'm collecting selected poems 130 00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:12,492 for an anthology of contemporary poets 131 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,244 re-imagining traditional forms. 132 00:08:14,244 --> 00:08:17,414 I would love to include a villanelle of yours. 133 00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:18,957 Let's get a drink later. 134 00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:20,918 I would love that. I would... 135 00:08:25,047 --> 00:08:27,674 I do remember you, yes. 136 00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:29,301 You had a hat with a feather, 137 00:08:29,468 --> 00:08:30,510 and the feather blew off 138 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,596 and landed in a lady's drink, right? 139 00:08:32,596 --> 00:08:34,264 Uh, that was you. 140 00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:36,308 I prefer to be remembered for my work... 141 00:08:36,308 --> 00:08:37,392 - Well... - ...but I'll take it. 142 00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:39,811 Hank's a novelist, so it's his job to be kind of a dick. 143 00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:41,104 Ah. 144 00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:42,189 When do you present? 145 00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:43,440 Tomorrow afternoon. 146 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:46,652 I have a paper on Ecophilosophy in a Post-Roe World. 147 00:08:46,652 --> 00:08:48,528 How about you, Hank? 148 00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,322 Are you presenting? 149 00:08:50,322 --> 00:08:53,450 - I don't know. - You don't know if you're presenting? 150 00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:56,787 You were saying about Appiah's piece in the Times last Sunday? 151 00:08:56,787 --> 00:08:58,080 Absolute rubbish. 152 00:08:58,080 --> 00:08:59,748 This widower wrote in 153 00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:02,376 to ask if it would be ethical to read his deceased... 154 00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:03,460 Sorry. 155 00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:06,713 ...and asked him specifically not to do. 156 00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:10,884 Uh, gin martini, extra olives, please. 157 00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:32,489 Thank you. 158 00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:50,632 That would be a mistake. - What? 159 00:09:51,550 --> 00:09:54,636 That woman you followed in here. 160 00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:57,055 "Anna Howard, professor of comparative literature, 161 00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:58,223 "University of Michigan." 162 00:09:58,223 --> 00:09:59,975 However tempting, a dalliance for a dalliance 163 00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:01,685 is not an ethically-sound idea. 164 00:10:02,686 --> 00:10:03,979 I shouldn't be here. 165 00:10:03,979 --> 00:10:06,315 You're my biggest fan. I'm on page three. 166 00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:11,361 I'm afraid I'm going to do something stupid. 167 00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:12,779 Let me get you a drink. 168 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,324 After that, get a massage, take a schvitz. 169 00:10:15,324 --> 00:10:16,825 Do any stupid thing you want, 170 00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:19,369 except boink her, 'cause you'd regret it. 171 00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:30,464 When am I going to learn 172 00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:33,133 that hotel rooms aren't fun anymore? 173 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,844 I mean, when you're young, they're full of potential, 174 00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:39,348 an exotic alternative to your own crappy bedroom, 175 00:10:39,348 --> 00:10:41,558 and clean sheets, too, 176 00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:42,809 but at some point, 177 00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,144 you just start thinking 178 00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:47,314 about all the losers who stayed here before you. 179 00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:49,983 Oh, that's sad. 180 00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:52,652 All the losers, 181 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:53,904 hoping beyond hope 182 00:10:53,904 --> 00:10:56,698 to meet someone in the hotel bar and get laid. 183 00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:00,827 ♪ Never mind About the best of clothes ♪ 184 00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:04,122 ♪ Better still Just try to book me I know ♪ 185 00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,665 ♪ If I... ♪ 186 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,254 Hey! 187 00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:13,131 - Do you need a hand? - Hi, yeah. 188 00:11:13,131 --> 00:11:15,550 Can you put this in the very front. 189 00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:17,886 Are you finally moving your stuff out? 190 00:11:17,886 --> 00:11:19,971 How many times are we going to talk about this? 191 00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:22,349 Is it such an inconvenience for me to keep, like, 192 00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,184 a bit of my stuff at your house? 193 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,186 I thought you liked having this conversation. 194 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,814 I thought that's why you kept your things here 195 00:11:28,814 --> 00:11:31,817 even though you have your own big storage space. 196 00:11:31,817 --> 00:11:32,984 Trunk. 197 00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:36,780 Are you going somewhere? 198 00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,490 Yeah, Russell and I had a fight, 199 00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:40,742 so I'm going to take you up on that offer. 200 00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:41,910 What offer? 201 00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:44,079 I'm going to come stay with you in New York. 202 00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:45,914 Okay, let's just, um... 203 00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:47,374 Let's just back this up. 204 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:48,667 How bad a fight was this? 205 00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:50,293 That's none of your business. 206 00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,754 Julie! 207 00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:54,131 - Mom. - You are married. 208 00:11:54,131 --> 00:11:55,966 You cannot just run away 209 00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:57,384 from the first big fight. 210 00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:59,594 First big fight. 211 00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:01,263 Mom, Russell literally is like... 212 00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:02,431 Mom! 213 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:04,975 Russell is just... 214 00:12:04,975 --> 00:12:06,476 He's pissing me off, 215 00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:08,895 and this is... Honestly, this is all Dad's fault. 216 00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:09,980 How so? 217 00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:13,525 Because he got him that job, and it destroyed us. 218 00:12:13,525 --> 00:12:14,651 It just destroyed us. 219 00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:16,945 Like, I honestly don't think we've had sex 220 00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:19,156 more than, like, ten times in the last month. 221 00:12:19,156 --> 00:12:21,074 Oh, yeah? - Yes, 222 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,160 and he's not masturbating like he used to, 223 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:24,995 so he's totally cheating on me. 224 00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:26,705 Julie. 225 00:12:26,705 --> 00:12:28,707 Honey, do you... Do you really think so? 226 00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:30,500 - I mean... - Yes. 227 00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:39,468 Yeah, I'm at work. 228 00:12:39,468 --> 00:12:42,721 - ♪ Keep it round... ♪ - It's a great time to talk. 229 00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:45,098 ♪ Hold onto it... ♪ 230 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,266 ...and they brought nothing. 231 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,726 Nothing. 232 00:12:47,726 --> 00:12:49,936 When I go to her house, I bring banana bread, 233 00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,021 or a zucchini bread, 234 00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:52,481 a bottle of wine, something, 235 00:12:52,481 --> 00:12:54,065 and this is the third time it's happened 236 00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:55,233 where she shows up empty-handed. 237 00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:56,485 I just think it's disrespectful. 238 00:12:56,485 --> 00:12:57,819 At this point, she should not be invited anymore. 239 00:12:57,819 --> 00:12:59,154 That's what I think! 240 00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:00,322 I'm sorry. 241 00:13:05,577 --> 00:13:09,164 ♪ Feel the cigarette ♪ 242 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:12,918 ♪ Feel your mouth ♪ 243 00:13:12,918 --> 00:13:17,130 ♪ Feel the gutter Running wild ♪ 244 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:21,301 ♪ It's a good sound ♪ 245 00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:25,055 ♪ Spirit locked the door ♪ 246 00:13:25,055 --> 00:13:30,227 ♪ Left you in a proper daze ♪ 247 00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:37,734 ♪ If you're anxious... ♪ 248 00:13:42,113 --> 00:13:43,865 Hank? 249 00:13:44,783 --> 00:13:46,576 Hank? 250 00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:51,790 Dad? 251 00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:53,708 How did you... 252 00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:59,631 Apparently, you have a beef with me. 253 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,843 And it boils down to one thing. 254 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,845 How could you leave us? 255 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:08,348 Me, 256 00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:11,893 the way that you did. 257 00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:14,479 That's a fair question. 258 00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:16,356 Look, son, 259 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:17,607 there are three things 260 00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:19,317 that you don't know about the situation. 261 00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:21,570 In fact, three simple things, 262 00:14:21,570 --> 00:14:22,862 once I tell you, 263 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,781 I think you'll understand completely. 264 00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:26,575 In fact, 265 00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:29,452 you might even be happy. 266 00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:30,787 One... 267 00:14:33,582 --> 00:14:35,333 Oh, it's hot in here. 268 00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:38,169 Can you do the thing 269 00:14:38,169 --> 00:14:39,588 to get us more steam? 270 00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:53,310 ♪ Walkin' along ♪ 271 00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:54,686 ♪ Trying his best ♪ 272 00:14:54,686 --> 00:14:57,188 ♪ To take the same big steps That his daddy took ♪ 273 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,276 ♪ Johnny was small I was ten feet tall ♪ 274 00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:02,694 ♪ I could write a book... ♪ 275 00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:06,990 ♪ About a father and a son And the things we've done ♪ 276 00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,199 ♪ And the way life looked... ♪ 277 00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:11,244 ♪ I taught him ♪ 278 00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,038 ♪ How to whistle Through his teeth ♪ 279 00:15:13,038 --> 00:15:15,415 ♪ And I taught him How to fade a hook ♪ 280 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:16,583 ♪ Uh-huh... ♪ 281 00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:17,667 One of the few 282 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:18,752 species who mate for life. 283 00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:21,046 ♪ Find yourself Another hero, Johnny... ♪ 284 00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:27,302 ♪ I don't want you Looking up to me ♪ 285 00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:32,932 ♪ Find yourself Another hero, Johnny ♪ 286 00:15:34,893 --> 00:15:39,397 ♪ I'm just not the daddy That I ought to be ♪ 287 00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:01,544 Hello? 288 00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:02,796 Hank? 289 00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:05,924 I hear the sounds of a party down the hall. 290 00:16:06,174 --> 00:16:07,634 Female voices. 291 00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,094 What time is it? 292 00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:11,680 Are you already in bed? 293 00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:13,515 Yeah. My presentation is in the morning. 294 00:16:13,515 --> 00:16:14,641 You're coming, right? 295 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:16,267 Of course. 296 00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:17,894 It's hours away. 297 00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:20,647 I mean, come on, I really need a distraction. 298 00:16:44,713 --> 00:16:46,756 Ooh, what are the specials? 299 00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:49,926 We have vodka and soda, 300 00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:51,720 and... 301 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:53,638 Soda with vodka in it. 302 00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:54,973 Oh, that's a tough choice. 303 00:16:54,973 --> 00:16:57,142 I'd say soda with vodka? 304 00:16:57,934 --> 00:17:00,270 I'm going to look for some of those female voices. 305 00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:01,479 Cheers. 306 00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:12,031 Hard to believe, 307 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:15,160 but these are some of the most above-average minds in academia. 308 00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:18,538 Why are they here? 309 00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,749 Will they change the world? 310 00:17:21,124 --> 00:17:23,960 Not unless being published in an academic journal 311 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,420 read by 40 people 312 00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:26,921 is earth-shattering. 313 00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:28,840 No, these people are in a fierce competition. 314 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:30,008 I don't know. 315 00:17:30,008 --> 00:17:32,343 A provocative thesis is one thing, 316 00:17:32,343 --> 00:17:35,805 but Marjorie DeCampos is going to be there. 317 00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:37,348 From Emory? - Yes. 318 00:17:37,348 --> 00:17:39,726 They're battling to see who can stick their heads 319 00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:42,395 furthest up their own butt holes. 320 00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:43,897 Ah, maybe I can help. 321 00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,315 Make sure you have a printout. 322 00:17:45,315 --> 00:17:46,441 Why? 323 00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:48,026 Uh, the virus. 324 00:17:48,651 --> 00:17:50,945 What virus? 325 00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:52,781 - You guys don't know? - No. 326 00:17:52,781 --> 00:17:54,449 Oh. 327 00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:57,702 There's a computer virus being spread by the hotel WiFi. 328 00:17:57,702 --> 00:17:58,995 Oh, no. 329 00:17:58,995 --> 00:18:00,914 Some hacker from outside infected the whole system. 330 00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:02,832 - When? - Like an hour ago. 331 00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:05,543 They've got an IT team from Zurich is working on it, 332 00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:07,796 but I lost work from the last four years, 333 00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:09,714 so... effing nightmare. 334 00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:10,882 I'm so sorry. 335 00:18:10,882 --> 00:18:12,258 It probably won't affect you guys 336 00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:16,179 because it only activates if you use certain programs. 337 00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:18,723 - Word, or Google Docs... - Oh, that's fine. 338 00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:20,683 ...or, um... PowerPoint, and Keynote. 339 00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:21,768 Oh, my God! 340 00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:22,894 - What? - Yeesh! 341 00:18:22,894 --> 00:18:25,063 - That's everything. - I'll tell you what, 342 00:18:25,063 --> 00:18:26,773 it'll destroy your hard drive. Good luck. 343 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,316 My presentation is in Keynote. 344 00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:30,777 Yeah, but mine is tomorrow. I have two! 345 00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,070 I have two presentations. 346 00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:36,991 I have to operate my happy family of clothing. 347 00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:38,827 Because it's a charity rummage sale. 348 00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:40,036 I know! 349 00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:41,120 That you helped organize! 350 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,997 This is the best. 351 00:18:42,997 --> 00:18:45,250 This could be every night in New York. 352 00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:47,252 Hm. 353 00:18:47,669 --> 00:18:50,338 There's lots of stuff to do in New York at night. 354 00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:52,298 Yeah, but what's better than this? 355 00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:55,885 Get out of the way. 356 00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:57,387 What are you doing? 357 00:18:57,387 --> 00:18:58,763 Get away from the closet. 358 00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:01,182 No! Not that one! Oh! 359 00:20:03,661 --> 00:20:05,580 I see you bought your own coffee. 360 00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:06,873 Smart move. 361 00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:09,167 They're feeding us battery acid over here. 362 00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:10,460 Hank. 363 00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:12,378 Anna. 364 00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:14,172 You're one of the panelists, right? 365 00:20:14,172 --> 00:20:15,381 You're the Bronte scholar? 366 00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:17,425 - That's right. - Where did you study? 367 00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:19,344 Northwestern. 368 00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:20,553 Grad school? 369 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:21,888 Columbia. 370 00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:23,848 See, I think we have someone in common. 371 00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:26,392 - Mm. - Henry Devereaux? 372 00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:29,646 Henry? 373 00:20:29,646 --> 00:20:31,105 Of course. 374 00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:33,274 Yeah, he was my thesis advisor. 375 00:20:33,274 --> 00:20:34,651 He was a real mentor to me. 376 00:20:35,526 --> 00:20:36,986 Just a mentor? 377 00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:41,616 So, did you study under him as well, or... 378 00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:43,618 No, but I know you did. 379 00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:47,914 I'm his son. 380 00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:54,963 Do you want something from me? 381 00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:57,465 Not really. 382 00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:58,841 Well, that's not true. 383 00:21:02,053 --> 00:21:03,304 Did he ever mention 384 00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:06,766 that he had a son around your age? 385 00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:09,978 I knew you existed, yeah. 386 00:21:09,978 --> 00:21:12,313 Did he express any affection, 387 00:21:12,313 --> 00:21:14,607 or have any fond memories? 388 00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:15,942 It's hard to remember. 389 00:21:20,488 --> 00:21:21,531 How about for you? 390 00:21:21,531 --> 00:21:23,825 Do you feel like he cared about you? 391 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,703 Do you think he's capable... 392 00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:29,247 Of caring? 393 00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:32,583 You should talk to him. 394 00:21:34,794 --> 00:21:35,962 He's a... 395 00:21:38,172 --> 00:21:40,258 He's a good man. 396 00:21:41,342 --> 00:21:42,969 Is he? 397 00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:01,279 ...poetic voice, so readily identifiable, 398 00:22:01,279 --> 00:22:03,573 her brachyology, use of rhetorical terms, 399 00:22:03,573 --> 00:22:05,158 wielding rhetorical devices, 400 00:22:05,158 --> 00:22:07,160 syllepsis and apokoinou 401 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:08,870 like hatchets to her text 402 00:22:08,870 --> 00:22:10,872 while she creates a syntax 403 00:22:10,872 --> 00:22:12,040 for an urban landscape 404 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:13,958 she both describes and rebirths-- 405 00:22:13,958 --> 00:22:16,794 I think I'm going to have to challenge you on that, Fran-- 406 00:22:16,794 --> 00:22:18,004 Okay! 407 00:22:18,004 --> 00:22:19,464 Oh, here we go! 408 00:22:19,464 --> 00:22:21,215 Why is it that we... 409 00:22:21,215 --> 00:22:23,342 How can someone not be self-aware enough 410 00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:25,511 to know they are irrelevant? 411 00:22:25,887 --> 00:22:28,306 I mean, if your gut doesn't tell you this, 412 00:22:28,306 --> 00:22:30,516 there's a lot of clues. 413 00:22:30,516 --> 00:22:31,809 Just look around. 414 00:22:31,809 --> 00:22:34,562 There's 700 channels on TV, 415 00:22:34,562 --> 00:22:38,232 and not a single one of them is devoted to poetry. 416 00:22:39,525 --> 00:22:41,110 And you've accomplished 417 00:22:41,110 --> 00:22:43,279 the greatest achievement of your career, 418 00:22:43,279 --> 00:22:46,240 and seven people showed up for 419 00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:48,701 whatever this is. 420 00:22:48,701 --> 00:22:51,370 At least I know I don't matter. 421 00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:56,626 Oh, that one guy looks like Javier Bardem. 422 00:22:56,626 --> 00:22:58,127 Blatcher is working 423 00:22:58,127 --> 00:23:01,005 in a revolutionary poetic verbiage 424 00:23:01,005 --> 00:23:02,507 that we see only in... 425 00:23:32,995 --> 00:23:35,498 ♪ I've been thinking lately About the people I meet ♪ 426 00:23:35,498 --> 00:23:37,125 ♪ The car wash on the corner ♪ 427 00:23:37,125 --> 00:23:38,960 ♪ And the hole in the street ♪ 428 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:41,796 ♪ The way my ankles hurt With shoes on my feet ♪ 429 00:23:41,796 --> 00:23:44,841 ♪ And I'm wondering If I'm gonna see tomorrow ♪ 430 00:23:44,841 --> 00:23:47,510 ♪ Father, forgive us For what we must do ♪ 431 00:23:47,510 --> 00:23:50,304 ♪ You forgive us We'll forgive you ♪ 432 00:23:50,304 --> 00:23:52,974 ♪ We'll forgive each other Till we both turn blue ♪ 433 00:23:52,974 --> 00:23:55,852 ♪ Then we'll whistle And go fishing in heaven... ♪ 434 00:24:01,691 --> 00:24:04,735 ♪ I was in the army But I never dug a trench ♪ 435 00:24:04,735 --> 00:24:06,863 ♪ Used to bust my knuckles On a monkey wrench ♪ 436 00:24:06,863 --> 00:24:08,823 ♪ I'd go to town and drink ♪ 437 00:24:08,823 --> 00:24:10,283 ♪ Give the girls a pinch ♪ 438 00:24:10,283 --> 00:24:13,369 ♪ But I don't think they ever Even noticed me ♪ 439 00:24:13,369 --> 00:24:16,205 ♪ Father, forgive us For what we must do ♪ 440 00:24:16,205 --> 00:24:19,167 ♪ You forgive us We'll forgive you ♪ 441 00:24:19,167 --> 00:24:21,669 ♪ We'll forgive each other Till we both turn blue ♪ 442 00:24:21,669 --> 00:24:24,797 ♪ Then we'll whistle And go fishing in heaven... ♪ 443 00:24:35,808 --> 00:24:37,185 No! 444 00:24:38,811 --> 00:24:40,646 Come on! 445 00:24:40,646 --> 00:24:41,814 That's it, that's it! 446 00:24:44,442 --> 00:24:46,068 No. No... 447 00:24:46,068 --> 00:24:47,820 No, I don't want to hear it. 448 00:24:47,820 --> 00:24:50,865 You shouldn't have stayed out late every night for a month. 449 00:24:50,865 --> 00:24:52,909 That's not someone wanting to be with me. 450 00:24:54,118 --> 00:24:55,995 How long does it take to put up chairs? 451 00:24:55,995 --> 00:24:57,288 There's, like, 30 chairs, 452 00:24:57,288 --> 00:24:58,748 and it takes five seconds a chair. 453 00:24:58,748 --> 00:25:00,041 That doesn't add up! 454 00:25:00,041 --> 00:25:01,209 That's just math! 455 00:25:09,175 --> 00:25:10,676 I'm just going to say something 456 00:25:10,676 --> 00:25:13,012 that you don't want to hear. 457 00:25:13,012 --> 00:25:16,182 Is it possible that he's just actually working late? 458 00:25:16,182 --> 00:25:18,935 Yeah, but it's "why is he working late?" 459 00:25:18,935 --> 00:25:21,979 It's because he took a job to be away from me, 460 00:25:21,979 --> 00:25:24,398 just like you're taking a job to be away from Dad. 461 00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:26,609 That is not... 462 00:25:26,609 --> 00:25:27,693 That... 463 00:25:27,693 --> 00:25:29,487 That is not why I took this job. 464 00:25:29,487 --> 00:25:31,697 Oh, come on, it's me. 465 00:25:31,697 --> 00:25:33,407 Yes, I know who I'm talking to. 466 00:25:33,407 --> 00:25:35,493 Okay, calm down. 467 00:25:35,493 --> 00:25:38,496 - You guys are going through something. - I get it. 468 00:25:39,288 --> 00:25:41,874 - No, you don't. - So you and Dad are just perfect then? 469 00:25:41,874 --> 00:25:43,834 No. No, Julie, there are little things, 470 00:25:43,834 --> 00:25:45,169 but they're little things, 471 00:25:45,169 --> 00:25:47,046 and then when there's a bigger thing, 472 00:25:47,046 --> 00:25:49,090 then we work it out. 473 00:25:49,090 --> 00:25:50,591 That's what you want from me? 474 00:25:50,591 --> 00:25:52,510 - Yeah. - You want me to work it out with Russell 475 00:25:52,510 --> 00:25:54,804 and stay with him, and then in, like, 25 years, 476 00:25:54,804 --> 00:25:56,514 leave him in a cloud of denial? 477 00:25:56,514 --> 00:25:57,932 Oh! 478 00:25:58,975 --> 00:26:01,102 Oh, my God. Get in the car. 479 00:26:01,852 --> 00:26:03,396 We are going to talk to Russell. 480 00:26:03,396 --> 00:26:06,357 No, we're not doing that. I want to finish the game. 481 00:26:06,357 --> 00:26:08,484 Get in the car. 482 00:26:08,484 --> 00:26:09,694 No! 483 00:26:24,458 --> 00:26:25,584 That was super mature. 484 00:26:28,087 --> 00:26:29,588 Come on! 485 00:26:29,588 --> 00:26:31,507 You got it! That's it! 486 00:26:35,136 --> 00:26:36,304 Aw! 487 00:26:51,485 --> 00:26:54,864 A little early, no? 488 00:26:54,864 --> 00:26:56,657 It was a disaster. 489 00:26:56,657 --> 00:26:58,743 - What was? - What was? My talk was. 490 00:26:58,743 --> 00:27:00,536 I'm almost glad you weren't there. 491 00:27:01,454 --> 00:27:02,663 It doesn't matter. 492 00:27:02,663 --> 00:27:04,707 I just, I don't even know where to start. 493 00:27:06,334 --> 00:27:08,085 Can I get the same thing? 494 00:27:08,085 --> 00:27:10,629 Um... 495 00:27:10,629 --> 00:27:12,798 start in the middle? 496 00:27:12,798 --> 00:27:14,967 I missed a key paper last year. 497 00:27:15,801 --> 00:27:18,471 Everything I was saying about the neuroscience of moral judgment 498 00:27:18,471 --> 00:27:20,014 was apparently made irrelevant 499 00:27:20,014 --> 00:27:21,766 in the third quarter of the Journal of Neuroscience, 500 00:27:21,766 --> 00:27:23,225 which, in hindsight, 501 00:27:23,225 --> 00:27:26,228 may have been a pretty good thing for me to have been reading. 502 00:27:26,228 --> 00:27:27,813 Well, let's... 503 00:27:27,813 --> 00:27:30,358 Let's qualify relevance here. Relevant to who? 504 00:27:30,358 --> 00:27:32,693 I mean, how many people showed up at this thing? 505 00:27:32,693 --> 00:27:34,320 What does that matter? It was my research. 506 00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:36,906 I'm just trying to put it in perspective, right? 507 00:27:36,906 --> 00:27:39,158 It's not like you lost a patient on the table. 508 00:27:42,036 --> 00:27:44,705 The whole thing was extra embarrassing 509 00:27:44,705 --> 00:27:46,499 because I couldn't access my notes. 510 00:27:46,499 --> 00:27:49,168 There was a virus on the hotel WiFi. 511 00:27:52,046 --> 00:27:53,214 I heard that was a hoax. 512 00:27:53,589 --> 00:27:54,673 Oh, God... 513 00:27:55,007 --> 00:27:56,550 Go on. 514 00:27:56,550 --> 00:27:58,469 There's nothing to go on about. 515 00:27:58,969 --> 00:28:00,221 It was a nightmare. 516 00:28:00,221 --> 00:28:02,181 I can never come back here. 517 00:28:03,015 --> 00:28:05,559 I think you're wallowing. 518 00:28:06,519 --> 00:28:08,562 It wasn't that important to you yesterday, 519 00:28:08,562 --> 00:28:09,980 or the day before. 520 00:28:09,980 --> 00:28:11,899 I think you're sinking into your feelings-- 521 00:28:11,899 --> 00:28:13,776 Of course it was important to me yesterday. 522 00:28:13,776 --> 00:28:16,529 This has been my work for the last three years. 523 00:28:16,987 --> 00:28:20,533 Your work for the last three years was getting laid 524 00:28:20,533 --> 00:28:23,035 and cheating at racquetball. 525 00:28:23,035 --> 00:28:25,121 I was there, I saw it. Not the sex. 526 00:28:25,121 --> 00:28:27,915 Dude! If that's what you saw, 527 00:28:27,915 --> 00:28:29,542 you weren't there at all. 528 00:28:31,836 --> 00:28:34,171 Are we... Are we having a real argument right now? 529 00:28:34,171 --> 00:28:35,589 Because this... 530 00:28:35,589 --> 00:28:37,258 This isn't supposed to matter, 531 00:28:37,258 --> 00:28:39,969 this academic circle-jerk-a-thon we come to every year. 532 00:28:39,969 --> 00:28:42,471 I mean, making fun of these guys 533 00:28:42,471 --> 00:28:45,474 has been one of the foundational pastimes of our friendship. 534 00:28:45,474 --> 00:28:46,976 No, it's not. 535 00:28:46,976 --> 00:28:49,145 We make fun of them for their haircuts. 536 00:28:49,145 --> 00:28:51,021 We don't make fun of them for caring. 537 00:28:51,897 --> 00:28:53,774 I did, a little. 538 00:28:55,985 --> 00:28:57,319 I see that now. 539 00:28:57,445 --> 00:29:00,489 I don't get why. 540 00:29:01,282 --> 00:29:03,284 You've checked out of academia. 541 00:29:03,284 --> 00:29:05,411 You've checked out of writing. 542 00:29:05,411 --> 00:29:06,829 You've detached yourself 543 00:29:06,829 --> 00:29:10,124 from pretty much everything you care about. 544 00:29:11,083 --> 00:29:12,877 Every year, you care about less, 545 00:29:12,877 --> 00:29:14,211 and you're more depressed. 546 00:29:16,464 --> 00:29:18,591 I just don't see why. 547 00:29:20,426 --> 00:29:24,096 There's other things to care about than work. 548 00:29:24,096 --> 00:29:25,389 I got a wife and a kid. 549 00:29:25,389 --> 00:29:27,808 I know that hasn't worked out for you. I'm sorry, 550 00:29:27,808 --> 00:29:30,060 but it's damn important to me, 551 00:29:30,060 --> 00:29:31,854 so... 552 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:35,816 Things didn't seem so rosy 553 00:29:35,816 --> 00:29:37,985 the other night at your dinner party. 554 00:29:55,711 --> 00:29:57,338 This is going to be great. 555 00:29:57,338 --> 00:29:59,590 You're acting like we're on a reality show. 556 00:30:01,509 --> 00:30:03,302 My break ends in ten minutes. 557 00:30:03,302 --> 00:30:05,137 Thank you for sitting down with us. 558 00:30:05,137 --> 00:30:06,555 You're so welcome. 559 00:30:06,555 --> 00:30:09,225 I'm always willing to sit down and talk things through. 560 00:30:09,225 --> 00:30:12,561 Yeah, for ten minutes. - I don't make the bar schedule, okay? 561 00:30:12,561 --> 00:30:14,480 Mr. Travis, he makes the bar schedule. 562 00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:18,025 - The point is I've never seen-- - I've told you so many times-- 563 00:30:18,025 --> 00:30:19,318 Take a breath! 564 00:30:19,318 --> 00:30:21,946 We can't get anywhere if we're hot-headed. 565 00:30:21,946 --> 00:30:23,572 I agree. 566 00:30:23,572 --> 00:30:27,159 Do you think you can use your calm-down techniques for every situation? 567 00:30:27,159 --> 00:30:29,703 Is this what you do with Dad? Because I'm beginning to see your fight 568 00:30:29,703 --> 00:30:30,913 from his point of view. 569 00:30:30,913 --> 00:30:33,749 What fight? We are not having a fight. 570 00:30:33,749 --> 00:30:35,793 Uh, I mean, to be honest, Mrs. D, 571 00:30:35,793 --> 00:30:37,044 from the outside perspective, 572 00:30:37,169 --> 00:30:38,546 it kind of seems like something's going on. 573 00:30:38,546 --> 00:30:39,755 No, absolutely not. 574 00:30:40,047 --> 00:30:42,091 Then why you are kissing other men at bars? 575 00:30:42,675 --> 00:30:44,301 What? 576 00:30:44,301 --> 00:30:45,511 I'll tell you about it later. 577 00:30:45,511 --> 00:30:46,887 How do you know-- 578 00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:50,057 I'm sorry, he called me the other day and told me 579 00:30:50,057 --> 00:30:51,684 when he was in that crazy panic. 580 00:30:51,684 --> 00:30:53,060 Who did you kiss? 581 00:30:53,060 --> 00:30:55,688 Okay, look, your father is experiencing mental anguish 582 00:30:55,688 --> 00:30:59,024 from childhood trauma, so it actually has nothing to do with me. 583 00:30:59,024 --> 00:31:01,110 Oh, my God, that's, like, very serious. 584 00:31:01,318 --> 00:31:03,612 Is he seeing a psychiatrist? - No. 585 00:31:03,612 --> 00:31:05,281 - He definitely should be. - Yeah. 586 00:31:05,281 --> 00:31:07,074 There's this guy that comes into the bar, 587 00:31:07,074 --> 00:31:08,534 and he's a therapist, 588 00:31:08,534 --> 00:31:12,454 but he sees a psychiatrist, like, for his own problems, right? 589 00:31:12,454 --> 00:31:14,915 - I can get you his card. - No, thank you. 590 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:17,751 Can we stop comparing whatever this is to my marriage? 591 00:31:17,876 --> 00:31:19,169 - Again-- - That's so unfair. 592 00:31:19,169 --> 00:31:20,588 Mrs. D, I feel like you're the one 593 00:31:20,588 --> 00:31:22,381 who's kind of not seeing things clearly here. 594 00:31:22,381 --> 00:31:24,925 I support Julie, way more than Hank supports you. 595 00:31:24,925 --> 00:31:26,719 Oh, really? How so? 596 00:31:26,719 --> 00:31:29,972 I would go to New York if Julie wanted me to. 597 00:31:29,972 --> 00:31:32,016 - If you asked me to, I would go. - Really? 598 00:31:32,016 --> 00:31:33,892 Yeah, of course. 599 00:31:33,892 --> 00:31:36,270 - That's very nice. Thank you. - Of course, I'd go. 600 00:31:36,270 --> 00:31:37,563 So then, why are you cheating on her, big shot? 601 00:31:37,563 --> 00:31:38,856 - Mom! - Whoa! I'm not. 602 00:31:38,856 --> 00:31:40,065 Julie thinks otherwise. 603 00:31:40,065 --> 00:31:41,233 - I'm not! - No, I don't! 604 00:31:41,233 --> 00:31:43,360 - I am so not! - I know! I believe you! 605 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:44,653 What? 606 00:31:44,653 --> 00:31:46,280 - I've told her that! - That's the reason-- 607 00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:49,199 Then why aren't you masturbating as much, huh? 608 00:31:49,199 --> 00:31:50,367 - Whoa! Okay, hang on! - Tell me that! 609 00:31:50,367 --> 00:31:51,744 - Mom! - You brought it up! 610 00:31:52,077 --> 00:31:53,329 You can't say that to him! 611 00:31:53,329 --> 00:31:54,413 You brought it up at the house! 612 00:31:54,413 --> 00:31:55,623 - I'm so not! - I didn't bring that-- 613 00:31:55,623 --> 00:31:56,915 Why did you bring that up to her? 614 00:31:56,915 --> 00:31:58,042 You're masturbating the same amount. 615 00:31:58,042 --> 00:31:59,126 Why would I ever bring that up? 616 00:31:59,126 --> 00:32:00,377 You are a traitor! 617 00:32:00,377 --> 00:32:01,712 You need therapy, too! 618 00:32:01,712 --> 00:32:03,130 For real, you need help. 619 00:32:03,297 --> 00:32:04,506 You do need therapy. 620 00:32:04,506 --> 00:32:05,883 Couples counseling! Yes! 621 00:32:05,883 --> 00:32:08,594 You guys deserve each other. I think this went beautifully. 622 00:32:08,594 --> 00:32:10,137 Sit down, let's keep talking about that. 623 00:32:10,137 --> 00:32:12,931 We managed to do that with eight minutes to spare! 624 00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:14,224 - Good luck. - Where are you going? 625 00:32:14,224 --> 00:32:15,976 - Don't leave. - You drove me here! 626 00:32:20,064 --> 00:32:21,065 I would go to New York with you. 627 00:32:21,065 --> 00:32:22,816 - Would you really? - Yeah, of course. 628 00:32:44,088 --> 00:32:45,214 Give me a moment. 629 00:32:46,131 --> 00:32:47,966 If I'm there more than 30 seconds, 630 00:32:47,966 --> 00:32:50,469 then just say we're due somewhere. 631 00:32:51,887 --> 00:32:53,555 Hank. 632 00:32:53,555 --> 00:32:57,351 Thank you for briefly stopping by my panel. 633 00:32:57,351 --> 00:32:59,144 For a moment, I thought you were there to heckle. 634 00:32:59,311 --> 00:33:00,312 Heckle? 635 00:33:01,855 --> 00:33:02,898 I'm sorry. 636 00:33:02,898 --> 00:33:04,983 - Uh... - What? 637 00:33:07,611 --> 00:33:08,946 Well, the turnout, you know. 638 00:33:08,946 --> 00:33:10,406 - I mean-- - Oh. 639 00:33:10,406 --> 00:33:12,574 ...it's tough when the panelists outnumber the audience. 640 00:33:12,574 --> 00:33:14,535 - We've all been there. - No, not at all. 641 00:33:15,869 --> 00:33:16,912 We ran with it, 642 00:33:16,912 --> 00:33:19,248 and we turned the event into a workshop. 643 00:33:19,748 --> 00:33:21,083 It was... 644 00:33:21,250 --> 00:33:24,420 It was the most invigorating conversation I've had in a long time. 645 00:33:24,420 --> 00:33:28,298 I don't know if I'm just coming into my own, 646 00:33:28,298 --> 00:33:30,551 or the world is catching up to me, 647 00:33:30,551 --> 00:33:32,302 but I want to wear a T-shirt 648 00:33:32,302 --> 00:33:35,222 that says, "I've been... 649 00:33:35,222 --> 00:33:36,557 "here 650 00:33:36,557 --> 00:33:38,809 "the whole time!" 651 00:33:38,934 --> 00:33:41,270 Maybe I'd use a different meter. Yoo-hoo. 652 00:33:43,856 --> 00:33:45,190 See you back at the playground. 653 00:33:45,190 --> 00:33:46,608 Congrats on The Atlantic. 654 00:34:00,706 --> 00:34:03,375 ♪ I'm a-walking down ♪ 655 00:34:03,375 --> 00:34:07,463 ♪ That lonely road ♪ 656 00:34:07,463 --> 00:34:10,632 ♪ It's so windy ♪ 657 00:34:11,049 --> 00:34:14,470 ♪ So chilly and cold ♪ 658 00:34:22,311 --> 00:34:26,482 So, how did it go? 659 00:34:26,482 --> 00:34:27,900 Is Julie still here? 660 00:34:27,900 --> 00:34:29,610 They have got issues. 661 00:34:29,610 --> 00:34:31,320 I knew that, but did she go home? 662 00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:33,322 She's not here, is she? 663 00:34:34,448 --> 00:34:35,783 You know what? 664 00:34:35,783 --> 00:34:38,786 It's their marriage, and it has nothing to do with ours. 665 00:34:38,786 --> 00:34:41,330 - Who said it did? - Nobody, 666 00:34:41,330 --> 00:34:43,749 and I just think 667 00:34:44,875 --> 00:34:47,377 that I'm going to stay out of it. 668 00:34:47,836 --> 00:34:49,004 I think this generation, 669 00:34:49,004 --> 00:34:50,839 they don't... 670 00:34:53,091 --> 00:34:55,010 They see marriage like it's this game 671 00:34:55,010 --> 00:34:58,096 where you just say anything and you do whatever you want, 672 00:34:58,096 --> 00:35:00,557 and you're really super "over share-y" 673 00:35:00,557 --> 00:35:03,227 about every single stupid feeling, 674 00:35:03,227 --> 00:35:04,686 and all of that 675 00:35:04,686 --> 00:35:06,021 is just supposed to, like, 676 00:35:06,021 --> 00:35:08,565 fit together into a relationship. 677 00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:11,819 I don't know what I'm saying, 678 00:35:11,819 --> 00:35:15,197 except that thank God, that's not our marriage. 679 00:35:16,281 --> 00:35:19,076 Yeah, okay. 680 00:35:19,076 --> 00:35:21,745 Do you know what I mean? 681 00:35:21,745 --> 00:35:23,121 Yeah. 682 00:35:32,548 --> 00:35:36,260 You ever feel like you're right next to your life? 683 00:35:36,969 --> 00:35:38,136 I feel like 684 00:35:38,136 --> 00:35:40,138 I'm watching this guy who looks like me, 685 00:35:40,138 --> 00:35:41,765 and he's doing all this stuff, 686 00:35:41,765 --> 00:35:44,768 and I just want to tap him on the shoulder and say, 687 00:35:44,768 --> 00:35:47,104 "What's your problem?" 688 00:35:49,523 --> 00:35:50,941 I think I want back in. 689 00:35:54,194 --> 00:35:56,947 Respect. 690 00:35:58,448 --> 00:36:00,325 All right, well, 691 00:36:00,325 --> 00:36:01,952 you want to start with New York? 692 00:36:02,661 --> 00:36:04,288 Absolutely. 693 00:36:04,288 --> 00:36:05,414 Okay, great. 694 00:36:05,414 --> 00:36:07,875 Um, I've asked for a four-day week. 695 00:36:07,875 --> 00:36:11,128 As for the living arrangements, 696 00:36:11,128 --> 00:36:13,130 I found a couple of places 697 00:36:13,130 --> 00:36:15,257 that I think are pretty cute, and-- 698 00:36:15,257 --> 00:36:17,509 I need to see my dad. 699 00:36:17,509 --> 00:36:19,261 What? 700 00:36:19,261 --> 00:36:20,470 I'm sorry. 701 00:36:20,470 --> 00:36:22,472 I know you were talking, and I want to hear it, 702 00:36:22,472 --> 00:36:24,725 but I think I need to see my dad before he leaves. 703 00:36:24,725 --> 00:36:26,018 Eh... I don't know. 704 00:36:26,018 --> 00:36:27,561 I'm going to go. 705 00:37:35,337 --> 00:37:36,546 Oh. 706 00:37:36,546 --> 00:37:37,965 It's good to see you. 707 00:37:39,383 --> 00:37:40,801 How's retirement? 708 00:37:40,801 --> 00:37:42,135 Oh, well, 709 00:37:42,135 --> 00:37:44,346 it's very new for your father, of course, 710 00:37:44,346 --> 00:37:45,472 and I would say 711 00:37:45,472 --> 00:37:47,975 that an academic never truly retires. 712 00:37:48,850 --> 00:37:51,770 Mom, could I just talk to Dad alone, please? 713 00:37:52,062 --> 00:37:54,356 Where exactly am I supposed to go? 714 00:38:00,529 --> 00:38:02,114 I'll make some tea. 715 00:38:13,875 --> 00:38:14,960 How... 716 00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:17,087 How is your research coming along? 717 00:38:17,087 --> 00:38:18,171 No. 718 00:38:20,465 --> 00:38:21,550 You tell me 719 00:38:21,550 --> 00:38:23,760 what was behind your decision to move here? 720 00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:25,262 Oh. 721 00:38:25,262 --> 00:38:27,347 Well, I recently retired. 722 00:38:27,347 --> 00:38:29,307 The city no longer felt essential. 723 00:38:29,307 --> 00:38:31,435 Okay, but why here? 724 00:38:31,435 --> 00:38:33,520 I have family here. 725 00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:37,232 We haven't spoken in person in almost 25 years. 726 00:38:37,232 --> 00:38:40,485 Can we just cut the bullshit and talk like two adults? 727 00:38:40,485 --> 00:38:42,362 Would you be willing to do that? 728 00:38:42,946 --> 00:38:44,823 I am willing. 729 00:38:46,450 --> 00:38:47,909 Well... 730 00:38:47,909 --> 00:38:50,120 I... 731 00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:53,040 I'm feeling a lot of stuff right now. 732 00:38:55,625 --> 00:38:59,421 I've gone over this conversation 733 00:38:59,880 --> 00:39:02,299 for years in my head, 734 00:39:02,299 --> 00:39:04,926 but I don't really know where to start. 735 00:39:05,385 --> 00:39:07,137 Start in the middle. 736 00:39:10,057 --> 00:39:13,101 I think I might begin by telling you 737 00:39:13,101 --> 00:39:15,312 how hard it was for me 738 00:39:15,312 --> 00:39:18,315 to grow up without a father. 739 00:39:19,483 --> 00:39:22,319 What happened to him? 740 00:39:22,319 --> 00:39:26,573 I'm talking about you leaving your family. 741 00:39:26,573 --> 00:39:29,868 When I left, I got a job at Columbia. 742 00:39:29,868 --> 00:39:31,828 After a string of fellowships, 743 00:39:31,828 --> 00:39:35,957 I had the opportunity to stay at one institution 744 00:39:35,957 --> 00:39:38,043 and focus on my research. 745 00:39:38,043 --> 00:39:39,753 It was too good to pass up. 746 00:39:39,753 --> 00:39:41,546 I don't give a shit about the job. 747 00:39:41,546 --> 00:39:42,923 I know it was impressive, 748 00:39:42,923 --> 00:39:45,592 but you left mom and me for another woman. 749 00:39:47,010 --> 00:39:49,137 Oh, yes. Well, that was a difficult time-- 750 00:39:49,137 --> 00:39:51,723 Difficult? Was it difficult for you? 751 00:39:51,723 --> 00:39:54,476 I'm not being glib here, 752 00:39:54,476 --> 00:39:56,103 I actually want to know. 753 00:39:56,103 --> 00:39:59,106 How exactly was it difficult for you 754 00:39:59,106 --> 00:40:01,775 when you saw a child on the floor 755 00:40:01,775 --> 00:40:03,777 with a rope around his neck. your son 756 00:40:05,487 --> 00:40:08,490 how did that impact you? 757 00:40:08,490 --> 00:40:10,867 And why was the answer to that 758 00:40:10,867 --> 00:40:13,370 to cut off all contact with your son? 759 00:40:15,997 --> 00:40:18,667 Oh, you're talking about Hank? 760 00:40:19,876 --> 00:40:22,295 He was a stubborn child. 761 00:40:22,295 --> 00:40:24,339 Strong-willed, demanding. 762 00:40:27,259 --> 00:40:30,428 He won't actually speak to me now. 763 00:40:30,428 --> 00:40:33,223 Did you know that? 764 00:40:33,223 --> 00:40:35,600 I'm talking to you right now. 765 00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:38,061 Yes, you are. 766 00:40:39,354 --> 00:40:41,982 Milk, two sugars, right? 767 00:40:52,325 --> 00:40:53,743 Dad, how did you get to town? 768 00:40:53,743 --> 00:40:55,871 Did you come by car or train? 769 00:40:58,832 --> 00:41:00,667 Either way, I arrived. 770 00:41:02,460 --> 00:41:03,753 What day of the week is it? 771 00:41:03,753 --> 00:41:07,090 Oh, my God, we both need a new calendar. 772 00:41:10,093 --> 00:41:13,305 How do you like living in Florida? 773 00:41:15,098 --> 00:41:17,309 It's quite pleasant here in the winter, 774 00:41:17,309 --> 00:41:18,977 but... 775 00:41:19,352 --> 00:41:20,937 I'll tell you, 776 00:41:20,937 --> 00:41:22,731 summertime, 777 00:41:22,731 --> 00:41:25,650 the humidity is terrible for books. 778 00:41:28,945 --> 00:41:32,199 Who's the current president? 779 00:41:32,199 --> 00:41:35,577 Can we not talk about politics tonight? 780 00:41:42,709 --> 00:41:46,171 What do you want to talk about? 781 00:41:46,171 --> 00:41:48,840 Well, I have a new book coming out, 782 00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:50,800 and the publishers want me to tour 783 00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:53,887 up and down the East Coast. 784 00:41:53,887 --> 00:41:56,973 I'm awaiting approval from the college, of course, 785 00:41:56,973 --> 00:42:00,101 and we might have to delay it 786 00:42:00,101 --> 00:42:03,021 until my sabbatical comes up. 787 00:42:06,858 --> 00:42:08,610 I wish you luck with that. 788 00:42:08,610 --> 00:42:09,694 Thank you. 789 00:42:09,694 --> 00:42:12,364 Thank you. I hope it all works out, 790 00:42:12,364 --> 00:42:15,283 but how are things going for you?