1 00:00:05,350 --> 00:00:09,147 Hey, Dad, welcome to Railton. 2 00:00:09,147 --> 00:00:11,839 Just a couple questions. 3 00:00:11,839 --> 00:00:14,117 How come you didn't come to my wedding? 4 00:00:14,117 --> 00:00:17,672 Or want to meet your only grandchild? 5 00:00:17,672 --> 00:00:20,848 Or how could you abandon me 6 00:00:20,848 --> 00:00:23,057 when I had a rope around my neck? 7 00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:26,233 That's it, just those questions. 8 00:00:26,233 --> 00:00:29,477 Feel free to write your answers on a postcard 9 00:00:29,477 --> 00:00:31,997 and mail it to me. 10 00:00:31,997 --> 00:00:36,139 Then we can go back to avoiding each other. 11 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,424 I'm coming in! 12 00:01:54,424 --> 00:01:56,150 Dad! Get out! 13 00:02:03,364 --> 00:02:04,572 Hmm... 14 00:02:11,717 --> 00:02:13,857 I almost took a shower with our daughter. 15 00:02:13,857 --> 00:02:15,480 Yeah, she came in the night. 16 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:16,895 She slept upstairs in her old room. 17 00:02:16,895 --> 00:02:18,172 What's that about? 18 00:02:18,172 --> 00:02:19,449 Mmm... 19 00:02:19,449 --> 00:02:20,933 She didn't want to say, she wanted to sleep. 20 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:23,764 If we turned her room into a gym, 21 00:02:23,764 --> 00:02:25,006 this wouldn't happen. 22 00:02:25,006 --> 00:02:27,181 Or she'd get into great shape. 23 00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:29,321 - Bright side. - Mmm. 24 00:02:35,707 --> 00:02:37,881 - I saw my father on Tuesday. - What? 25 00:02:39,883 --> 00:02:42,472 I was in my car. I just wanted to get a glimpse. 26 00:02:42,472 --> 00:02:43,784 There he was. 27 00:02:46,235 --> 00:02:49,824 What did he say? Or just how... did it go? 28 00:02:49,824 --> 00:02:51,343 We didn't talk. 29 00:02:51,343 --> 00:02:53,207 I don't want to be lied to, 30 00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:58,074 and I only want to know he's here because he's old, 31 00:02:58,074 --> 00:03:01,008 unemployed, and wants to be taken care of. 32 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,701 - That's understandable. - I'm going for a run. 33 00:03:04,701 --> 00:03:06,531 - Great. - That's... important. 34 00:03:06,531 --> 00:03:07,980 Oh, it's my mom. 35 00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:09,534 Oh, yeah, she's been calling me. 36 00:03:09,534 --> 00:03:11,052 You too? 37 00:03:11,052 --> 00:03:13,572 - Did you talk to her? - No, no, I wouldn't know what to say to her. 38 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:19,751 Why haven't you answered my calls? 39 00:03:21,166 --> 00:03:24,065 Because my, um, caller ID works. 40 00:03:25,584 --> 00:03:27,931 You hurt your father very badly, you know. 41 00:03:27,931 --> 00:03:29,968 He played me the message you left. 42 00:03:29,968 --> 00:03:31,659 Oh, he's keeping my messages. 43 00:03:31,659 --> 00:03:33,351 What message? 44 00:03:33,351 --> 00:03:34,904 Oh, I didn't tell you, I left a message for my dad. 45 00:03:34,904 --> 00:03:37,078 I told him he's not welcome here in Railton. 46 00:03:37,078 --> 00:03:40,392 It was a cruel thing to say. 47 00:03:40,392 --> 00:03:42,222 It stung him very badly. 48 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,224 It was so over the line, 49 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,777 Henry says he's leaving after the weekend. 50 00:03:45,777 --> 00:03:47,848 He says he's going to North Carolina. 51 00:03:47,848 --> 00:03:49,884 North Carolina? What's in North Carolina? 52 00:03:49,884 --> 00:03:51,231 Oh, 53 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,612 a graduate student that he hasn't seduced yet. 54 00:03:53,612 --> 00:03:57,375 - Gruen. - What's that, the monster from Beowulf? 55 00:03:57,375 --> 00:03:58,859 His second wife. 56 00:04:00,343 --> 00:04:03,553 It would be a terrible situation for him, 57 00:04:03,553 --> 00:04:06,729 living out the last of his days 58 00:04:06,729 --> 00:04:09,041 in a place he has no connection to, 59 00:04:09,041 --> 00:04:12,113 far from any family... 60 00:04:12,113 --> 00:04:13,943 and the monster's Grendel. 61 00:04:13,943 --> 00:04:15,531 Well, you tell him to have a nice trip, 62 00:04:15,531 --> 00:04:18,706 and the monster is Grendel's mom. 63 00:04:18,706 --> 00:04:20,121 Hank! 64 00:04:20,121 --> 00:04:23,124 This is something that's very important to me. 65 00:04:23,815 --> 00:04:25,265 He'll leave for good 66 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,888 if you don't come by and ask him to stay. 67 00:04:29,579 --> 00:04:31,236 I'm not going to do that. 68 00:04:32,617 --> 00:04:34,584 I'm asking you. 69 00:04:35,999 --> 00:04:37,725 Hank isn't available this weekend. 70 00:04:37,725 --> 00:04:40,763 He has a conference. 71 00:04:40,763 --> 00:04:42,765 Is that true? 72 00:04:42,765 --> 00:04:45,112 It's true I've been invited to a conference, 73 00:04:45,112 --> 00:04:46,458 in Harrisburg. 74 00:04:46,458 --> 00:04:48,771 Oh, you can skip that. 75 00:04:49,772 --> 00:04:51,739 You have a choice to make 76 00:04:51,739 --> 00:04:54,121 between your father 77 00:04:54,121 --> 00:04:57,297 and an insignificant regional conference. 78 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:18,826 It's good for guys to have a thing. 79 00:06:18,826 --> 00:06:20,345 This conference is kind of our thing. 80 00:06:22,071 --> 00:06:23,866 And the one year you decided to pull out 81 00:06:23,866 --> 00:06:25,212 is the one year I'm presenting. 82 00:06:25,212 --> 00:06:26,593 I was beginning to take it personally. 83 00:06:26,593 --> 00:06:29,389 Yeah, I've had a lot going on, you know. 84 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,183 Oh, sure, sure, sure. 85 00:06:31,183 --> 00:06:33,358 It's just that you decided not to come weeks ago, 86 00:06:33,358 --> 00:06:34,911 like the minute you saw the program 87 00:06:34,911 --> 00:06:37,017 with my name and photo prominently displayed on it. 88 00:06:37,017 --> 00:06:39,019 - I did? - Mmm-hmm. 89 00:06:39,019 --> 00:06:41,849 I think we have a different definition of "prominent". 90 00:06:41,849 --> 00:06:43,403 It's page three. Page three is the best. 91 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,852 Phew... 92 00:06:44,852 --> 00:06:47,579 I got two other pages that will knock your socks off. 93 00:06:48,477 --> 00:06:49,719 Let's go. 94 00:06:51,928 --> 00:06:53,723 I hope I don't meet anyone from last year. 95 00:06:53,723 --> 00:06:55,276 - You probably won't. - Or the year before. 96 00:06:55,276 --> 00:06:59,280 Uh, Rosencrantz and Senor Guildenstern, please. 97 00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:00,696 How many times have you heard that today? 98 00:07:00,696 --> 00:07:02,387 Beats the Nietzsche brothers. 99 00:07:02,387 --> 00:07:03,733 No, it does not. 100 00:07:03,733 --> 00:07:05,804 Devereaux and Conigula. 101 00:07:06,564 --> 00:07:08,807 Go right to page three? 102 00:07:08,807 --> 00:07:10,706 Whoa, whoa. 103 00:07:10,706 --> 00:07:12,880 I did not know Gracie was going to be here. 104 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:14,951 Quick, hand me my fake mustache. 105 00:07:14,951 --> 00:07:16,401 You've got a beard. 106 00:07:16,401 --> 00:07:19,991 Right. So, my Austin Powers teeth. 107 00:07:19,991 --> 00:07:22,303 You're too kind. Look at her, holding court. 108 00:07:22,303 --> 00:07:24,305 Wait till they find out she's an idiot. 109 00:07:24,305 --> 00:07:26,411 That Atlantic poem was a total fluke. 110 00:07:26,411 --> 00:07:27,723 It was one of those infinite monkey things? 111 00:07:27,723 --> 00:07:29,656 Infinite monkey? No. 112 00:07:29,656 --> 00:07:31,658 Twenty monkeys, 113 00:07:31,658 --> 00:07:34,281 and they can take breaks, and they need one typewriter. 114 00:07:34,281 --> 00:07:36,628 They'll poop out that poem in 10 minutes. 115 00:07:36,628 --> 00:07:39,079 Come on. - No, no, drinks first. Come on. 116 00:07:39,079 --> 00:07:40,598 I can't believe 117 00:07:40,598 --> 00:07:42,669 that was just your first poem published in The Atlantic. 118 00:07:42,669 --> 00:07:45,154 - Wonderful. - And such specificity. 119 00:07:45,154 --> 00:07:46,845 Do you write with a pen or a scalpel? 120 00:07:46,845 --> 00:07:48,916 Oh, please. 121 00:07:48,916 --> 00:07:50,953 You all honor me, truly. 122 00:07:50,953 --> 00:07:52,955 Honestly, I don't know what comes next. 123 00:07:52,955 --> 00:07:56,752 I'm just trying to slurp the marrow from the present moment. 124 00:07:56,752 --> 00:07:58,236 Poet laureate, 5:00. Dr. Grillo! 125 00:07:58,236 --> 00:07:59,479 What? 126 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:02,171 Ms. DuBois, when I read your poem in The Atlantic, 127 00:08:02,171 --> 00:08:03,862 I revisited your book of sonnets. 128 00:08:03,862 --> 00:08:07,107 - I've added it to the syllabus for my spring seminar. - Oh. 129 00:08:07,107 --> 00:08:09,868 I'm collecting selected poems 130 00:08:09,868 --> 00:08:12,526 for an anthology of contemporary poets 131 00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:14,321 re-imagining traditional forms. 132 00:08:14,321 --> 00:08:17,462 I would love to include a villanelle of yours. 133 00:08:17,462 --> 00:08:19,015 Let's get a drink later. 134 00:08:19,015 --> 00:08:20,879 I would love that. I would... 135 00:08:25,090 --> 00:08:27,714 I do remember you, yes. 136 00:08:27,714 --> 00:08:29,439 You had a hat with a feather in it, 137 00:08:29,439 --> 00:08:30,544 and the feather blew off 138 00:08:30,544 --> 00:08:32,650 and landed in a lady's drink, right? 139 00:08:32,650 --> 00:08:34,341 Uh, that was you. 140 00:08:34,341 --> 00:08:36,343 Well, I prefer to be remembered for my work... 141 00:08:36,343 --> 00:08:37,655 - Well... - ...but I'll take it. 142 00:08:37,655 --> 00:08:39,829 Hank's a novelist, so it's his job to be kind of a dick. 143 00:08:39,829 --> 00:08:41,141 Ah. 144 00:08:41,141 --> 00:08:42,314 When do you present? 145 00:08:42,314 --> 00:08:43,523 Tomorrow afternoon. 146 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:47,043 I have a paper on Ecophilosophy in a Post-Roe World. 147 00:08:47,043 --> 00:08:48,562 How about you, Hank? 148 00:08:48,562 --> 00:08:50,391 Are you presenting? 149 00:08:50,391 --> 00:08:53,740 - I don't know. - You don't know if you're presenting? 150 00:08:53,740 --> 00:08:56,501 So you were saying about Appiah's piece in the Times last Sunday? 151 00:08:56,501 --> 00:08:58,123 Absolute rubbish. 152 00:08:58,123 --> 00:08:59,849 This widower wrote in 153 00:08:59,849 --> 00:09:03,508 - to ask if it would be ethical to read his deceased... - Sorry. 154 00:09:03,508 --> 00:09:06,684 ...and asked him specifically not to do. 155 00:09:08,133 --> 00:09:10,860 Uh, gin martini, extra olives, please. 156 00:09:31,432 --> 00:09:32,468 Thank you. 157 00:09:48,518 --> 00:09:50,590 That would be a mistake. - What? 158 00:09:51,556 --> 00:09:54,697 That woman you followed in here. 159 00:09:54,697 --> 00:09:57,079 "Anna Howard, professor of comparative literature, 160 00:09:57,079 --> 00:09:58,736 University of Michigan." 161 00:09:58,736 --> 00:10:01,635 However tempting, a dalliance for a dalliance is not an ethically-sound idea. 162 00:10:02,671 --> 00:10:04,051 I shouldn't be here. 163 00:10:04,051 --> 00:10:06,295 You're my biggest fan. I'm on page three. 164 00:10:09,470 --> 00:10:11,403 I'm afraid I'm going to do something stupid. 165 00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:12,819 Let me get you a drink. 166 00:10:12,819 --> 00:10:15,373 After that, get a massage, take a schvitz. 167 00:10:15,373 --> 00:10:16,616 Do any stupid thing you want, 168 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:17,893 except boink her, 169 00:10:17,893 --> 00:10:19,342 'cause you'd regret it. 170 00:10:29,111 --> 00:10:30,491 When am I going to learn 171 00:10:30,491 --> 00:10:33,184 that hotel rooms aren't fun anymore? 172 00:10:33,184 --> 00:10:35,911 I mean, when you're young, they're full of potential, 173 00:10:35,911 --> 00:10:39,397 an exotic alternative to your own crappy bedroom, 174 00:10:39,397 --> 00:10:41,606 and clean sheets, too, 175 00:10:41,606 --> 00:10:42,849 but at some point, 176 00:10:42,849 --> 00:10:44,195 you just start thinking 177 00:10:44,195 --> 00:10:47,301 about all the losers who stayed here before you. 178 00:10:48,268 --> 00:10:49,959 Oh, that's sad. 179 00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:52,686 All the losers, 180 00:10:52,686 --> 00:10:53,963 hoping beyond hope 181 00:10:53,963 --> 00:10:56,828 to meet someone in the hotel bar and get laid. 182 00:10:58,140 --> 00:11:00,867 ♪ Never mind About the best of clothes ♪ 183 00:11:00,867 --> 00:11:04,146 ♪ Better still Just try to book me I know ♪ 184 00:11:04,146 --> 00:11:05,665 ♪ If I... ♪ 185 00:11:10,014 --> 00:11:11,325 Hey! 186 00:11:11,325 --> 00:11:13,189 - Do you need a hand? - Hi, yeah. 187 00:11:13,189 --> 00:11:15,605 Can you put this in the very front. 188 00:11:15,605 --> 00:11:17,953 Are you finally moving your stuff out? 189 00:11:17,953 --> 00:11:20,058 Mom, how many times are we going to talk about this? 190 00:11:20,058 --> 00:11:22,405 Is it such an inconvenience for me to keep, like, 191 00:11:22,405 --> 00:11:24,235 a little bit of my stuff at your house? 192 00:11:24,235 --> 00:11:26,237 I thought you liked having this conversation. 193 00:11:26,237 --> 00:11:28,860 I thought that's why you kept your things here 194 00:11:28,860 --> 00:11:31,863 even though you have your own big storage space. 195 00:11:31,863 --> 00:11:32,968 Trunk. 196 00:11:35,764 --> 00:11:36,834 Are you going somewhere? 197 00:11:36,834 --> 00:11:38,559 Yeah, Russell and I had a fight, 198 00:11:38,559 --> 00:11:39,699 so I'm going to take you up on that offer. 199 00:11:40,838 --> 00:11:41,977 What offer? 200 00:11:41,977 --> 00:11:43,185 I'm going to come stay with you in New York. 201 00:11:44,531 --> 00:11:45,981 Okay, let's just, um... 202 00:11:45,981 --> 00:11:47,396 Let's just back this up. 203 00:11:47,396 --> 00:11:48,708 How bad a fight was this? 204 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,261 That's none of your business. 205 00:11:51,365 --> 00:11:52,815 Julie! 206 00:11:52,815 --> 00:11:54,196 - Mom. - You are married. 207 00:11:54,196 --> 00:11:56,025 You cannot just run away 208 00:11:56,025 --> 00:11:57,406 from the first big fight you guys have. 209 00:11:57,406 --> 00:11:59,649 First big fight. 210 00:11:59,649 --> 00:12:01,203 Mom, Russell literally is like... 211 00:12:01,203 --> 00:12:02,411 Mom! 212 00:12:03,067 --> 00:12:05,034 Russell is just... 213 00:12:05,034 --> 00:12:06,553 he's pissing me off, 214 00:12:06,553 --> 00:12:08,935 and this is... Honestly, this is all Dad's fault. 215 00:12:08,935 --> 00:12:10,039 How so? 216 00:12:10,039 --> 00:12:13,560 Because he got him that job, and it destroyed us. 217 00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:14,699 It just destroyed us. 218 00:12:14,699 --> 00:12:17,012 Like, I honestly don't think we've had sex 219 00:12:17,012 --> 00:12:19,221 more than, like, ten times in the last month. 220 00:12:19,221 --> 00:12:21,119 Oh, yeah? - Yes, 221 00:12:21,119 --> 00:12:23,225 and he's not masturbating like he used to, 222 00:12:23,225 --> 00:12:24,536 so he's totally cheating on me. 223 00:12:25,606 --> 00:12:26,849 Julie. 224 00:12:26,849 --> 00:12:28,748 Honey, do you... Do you really think so? 225 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,473 - I mean... - Yes. 226 00:12:38,067 --> 00:12:39,551 ♪ When it is dark... ♪ Yeah, I'm at work. 227 00:12:39,551 --> 00:12:41,277 - ♪ Keep it round... ♪ - It's a great time to talk. 228 00:12:43,728 --> 00:12:45,143 ♪ Hold onto it... ♪ 229 00:12:45,143 --> 00:12:46,282 ...and they brought nothing. 230 00:12:46,282 --> 00:12:47,801 Nothing. 231 00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:49,976 Like, when I go to her house, I bring a banana bread, 232 00:12:49,976 --> 00:12:51,080 or a zucchini bread, 233 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:52,564 a bottle of wine, something, 234 00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:54,118 and this is, like, the third time it's happened 235 00:12:54,118 --> 00:12:55,291 where she shows up empty-handed. 236 00:12:55,291 --> 00:12:56,568 I just think it's disrespectful. 237 00:12:56,568 --> 00:12:57,880 At this point, she should not be invited anymore. 238 00:12:57,880 --> 00:12:59,192 That's what I think! 239 00:12:59,192 --> 00:13:00,296 I'm sorry. 240 00:13:05,577 --> 00:13:09,271 ♪ Feel the cigarette ♪ 241 00:13:09,271 --> 00:13:12,964 ♪ Feel your mouth ♪ 242 00:13:12,964 --> 00:13:17,175 ♪ Feel the gutter Running wild ♪ 243 00:13:17,175 --> 00:13:21,352 ♪ It's a good sound ♪ 244 00:13:21,352 --> 00:13:25,114 ♪ Spirit locked the door ♪ 245 00:13:25,114 --> 00:13:30,188 ♪ Left you in a proper daze ♪ 246 00:13:35,780 --> 00:13:37,782 ♪ If you're anxious... ♪ 247 00:13:42,131 --> 00:13:44,513 Hank? 248 00:13:44,513 --> 00:13:46,549 Hank? 249 00:13:49,725 --> 00:13:51,796 Dad? 250 00:13:52,659 --> 00:13:53,694 How did you... 251 00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:59,631 Apparently, you have a beef with me. 252 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,877 And it boils down to one thing. 253 00:14:03,877 --> 00:14:05,879 How could you leave us? 254 00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:08,364 Me, 255 00:14:08,364 --> 00:14:11,954 the way that you did. 256 00:14:11,954 --> 00:14:14,508 That's a fair question. 257 00:14:14,508 --> 00:14:16,372 Look, son, 258 00:14:16,372 --> 00:14:17,684 there are three things 259 00:14:17,684 --> 00:14:19,375 that you don't know about the situation. 260 00:14:19,375 --> 00:14:21,619 In fact, three simple things, 261 00:14:21,619 --> 00:14:23,000 once I tell you, 262 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,829 I think you'll understand completely. 263 00:14:24,829 --> 00:14:26,624 In fact, 264 00:14:26,624 --> 00:14:29,489 you might even be happy. 265 00:14:29,489 --> 00:14:30,766 One... 266 00:14:33,596 --> 00:14:35,322 Oh, it's hot in here. 267 00:14:36,599 --> 00:14:38,222 Can you do the thing 268 00:14:38,222 --> 00:14:39,568 to get us more steam? 269 00:14:50,406 --> 00:14:53,375 ♪ Walkin' along ♪ 270 00:14:53,375 --> 00:14:54,755 ♪ Trying his best ♪ 271 00:14:54,755 --> 00:14:57,206 ♪ To take the same big steps That his daddy took ♪ 272 00:14:59,277 --> 00:15:01,417 ♪ Johnny was small I was ten feet tall ♪ 273 00:15:01,417 --> 00:15:02,729 ♪ I could write a book... ♪ 274 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,044 ♪ About a father and a son And the things we've done ♪ 275 00:15:07,044 --> 00:15:08,252 ♪ And the way life looked... ♪ 276 00:15:10,081 --> 00:15:11,393 ♪ I taught him ♪ 277 00:15:11,393 --> 00:15:13,084 ♪ How to whistle Through his teeth ♪ 278 00:15:13,084 --> 00:15:15,431 ♪ And I taught him How to fade a hook ♪ 279 00:15:15,431 --> 00:15:16,605 ♪ Uh-huh... ♪ 280 00:15:16,605 --> 00:15:17,744 One of the few 281 00:15:17,744 --> 00:15:18,814 of all these species who mate for life. 282 00:15:18,814 --> 00:15:21,092 ♪ Find yourself Another hero, Johnny... ♪ 283 00:15:23,784 --> 00:15:27,271 ♪ I don't want you Looking up to me ♪ 284 00:15:29,756 --> 00:15:32,932 ♪ Find yourself Another hero, Johnny ♪ 285 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:39,386 ♪ I'm just not the daddy That I ought to be ♪ 286 00:16:00,166 --> 00:16:01,581 Hello? 287 00:16:01,581 --> 00:16:02,823 Hank? 288 00:16:02,823 --> 00:16:06,137 I hear the sounds of a party down the hall. 289 00:16:06,137 --> 00:16:07,656 Female voices. 290 00:16:07,656 --> 00:16:09,140 What time is it? 291 00:16:09,140 --> 00:16:11,763 Are you already in bed? 292 00:16:11,763 --> 00:16:13,558 Yeah. My presentation is in the morning. 293 00:16:13,558 --> 00:16:14,663 You're coming, right? 294 00:16:14,663 --> 00:16:16,320 Of course. 295 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:17,942 It's hours away. 296 00:16:17,942 --> 00:16:20,703 I mean, come on, I really need a distraction. 297 00:16:44,693 --> 00:16:46,798 Ooh, what are the specials? 298 00:16:46,798 --> 00:16:49,974 We have vodka and soda, 299 00:16:49,974 --> 00:16:51,769 and... 300 00:16:51,769 --> 00:16:53,667 soda with vodka in it. 301 00:16:53,667 --> 00:16:54,806 Oh, that's a tough choice. 302 00:16:54,806 --> 00:16:58,051 I'd say soda with vodka? 303 00:16:58,051 --> 00:16:59,811 I'm going to look for some of those female voices. 304 00:17:00,157 --> 00:17:01,675 Cheers. 305 00:17:10,926 --> 00:17:12,410 Hard to believe, 306 00:17:12,410 --> 00:17:15,137 but these are some of the most above-average minds in academia. 307 00:17:16,759 --> 00:17:18,589 Why are they here? 308 00:17:18,589 --> 00:17:21,074 Will they change the world? 309 00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:24,008 Not unless being published in an academic journal 310 00:17:24,008 --> 00:17:25,492 read by 40 people 311 00:17:25,492 --> 00:17:27,011 is earth-shattering. 312 00:17:27,011 --> 00:17:28,875 No, these people are in a fierce competition. 313 00:17:28,875 --> 00:17:30,049 I don't know. 314 00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:32,396 A provocative thesis is one thing, 315 00:17:32,396 --> 00:17:35,847 but Marjorie DeCampos is going to be there. 316 00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:37,401 From Emory? - Yes. 317 00:17:37,401 --> 00:17:39,782 They're battling to see who can stick their heads 318 00:17:39,782 --> 00:17:42,440 furthest up their own butt holes. 319 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:43,924 Ah, maybe I can help. 320 00:17:43,924 --> 00:17:45,340 Make sure you have a printout. 321 00:17:45,340 --> 00:17:46,479 Why? 322 00:17:46,479 --> 00:17:48,032 Uh, the virus. 323 00:17:48,619 --> 00:17:51,000 What virus? 324 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,830 - You guys don't know? - No. 325 00:17:52,830 --> 00:17:54,521 Oh. 326 00:17:54,521 --> 00:17:57,731 There's a computer virus being spread by the hotel WiFi. 327 00:17:57,731 --> 00:17:59,078 Oh, no. 328 00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,631 Some hacker from outside infected the whole system. 329 00:18:00,631 --> 00:18:02,909 - When? - Like an hour ago. 330 00:18:02,909 --> 00:18:05,601 - Oh, my God! - They've got an IT team from Zurich is working on it, 331 00:18:05,601 --> 00:18:07,845 but I lost work from the last four years, 332 00:18:07,845 --> 00:18:09,743 so... effing nightmare. 333 00:18:09,743 --> 00:18:10,917 I'm so sorry. 334 00:18:10,917 --> 00:18:12,332 It probably won't affect you guys 335 00:18:12,332 --> 00:18:16,267 - because it only activates if you use certain programs. - Oh. 336 00:18:16,267 --> 00:18:18,787 - Word, or Google Docs... - Oh, that's fine. 337 00:18:18,787 --> 00:18:20,720 ...or, um... PowerPoint, and Keynote. 338 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:21,790 Oh, my God! 339 00:18:21,790 --> 00:18:22,963 - What? - Yeesh! 340 00:18:22,963 --> 00:18:25,104 - That's everything. - I'll tell you what, 341 00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:26,829 it'll destroy your hard drive. Good luck. 342 00:18:26,829 --> 00:18:28,245 - Oh, no, no. - My presentation is in Keynote. 343 00:18:28,245 --> 00:18:30,799 Yeah, but mine is tomorrow. I have two! 344 00:18:30,799 --> 00:18:31,938 I have two presentations. 345 00:18:34,527 --> 00:18:37,495 I have to operate my happy family of clothing. 346 00:18:37,495 --> 00:18:38,876 Because it's a charity rummage sale. 347 00:18:38,876 --> 00:18:40,084 I know! 348 00:18:40,084 --> 00:18:41,154 That you helped organize! 349 00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:43,052 This is the best. 350 00:18:43,052 --> 00:18:45,227 This could be every night in New York. 351 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,643 Hmm. 352 00:18:47,643 --> 00:18:50,405 There's lots of stuff to do in New York at night. 353 00:18:50,405 --> 00:18:52,269 Yeah, but what's better than this? 354 00:18:54,857 --> 00:18:55,962 Okay, get out of the way. 355 00:18:55,962 --> 00:18:57,446 What are you doing? 356 00:18:57,446 --> 00:18:58,827 Get away from the closet, please. 357 00:18:58,827 --> 00:19:01,243 No! Not that one! Oh! 358 00:20:03,892 --> 00:20:05,618 I see you bought your own coffee. 359 00:20:05,618 --> 00:20:06,929 Smart move. 360 00:20:06,929 --> 00:20:09,208 They're feeding us battery acid over here. 361 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,485 Hank. 362 00:20:10,485 --> 00:20:12,521 Anna. 363 00:20:12,521 --> 00:20:14,213 You're, uh, one of the panelists, right? 364 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,421 You're the Bronte scholar? 365 00:20:15,421 --> 00:20:17,492 - That's right. - Where did you study? 366 00:20:17,492 --> 00:20:19,390 Northwestern. 367 00:20:19,390 --> 00:20:20,564 Grad school? 368 00:20:20,564 --> 00:20:21,944 Columbia. 369 00:20:21,944 --> 00:20:23,877 See, I think we have someone in common. 370 00:20:23,877 --> 00:20:26,363 - Mmm. - Henry Devereaux? 371 00:20:28,261 --> 00:20:29,676 Henry? 372 00:20:29,676 --> 00:20:31,540 Of course. 373 00:20:31,540 --> 00:20:33,370 Yeah, he was my thesis advisor. 374 00:20:33,370 --> 00:20:34,612 He was a real mentor to me. 375 00:20:35,544 --> 00:20:36,959 Just a mentor? 376 00:20:39,307 --> 00:20:41,688 So, did you study under him as well, or... 377 00:20:41,688 --> 00:20:43,587 No, but I know you did. 378 00:20:46,797 --> 00:20:47,901 I'm his son. 379 00:20:52,906 --> 00:20:54,943 Do you want something from me? 380 00:20:56,116 --> 00:20:57,532 Not really. 381 00:20:57,532 --> 00:20:58,878 Well, that's not true. 382 00:21:02,053 --> 00:21:03,365 Did he ever mention 383 00:21:03,365 --> 00:21:06,817 that he had a son around your age? 384 00:21:06,817 --> 00:21:10,027 I knew you existed, yeah. 385 00:21:10,027 --> 00:21:12,374 Did he express any affection, 386 00:21:12,374 --> 00:21:14,652 or have any fond memories? 387 00:21:14,652 --> 00:21:15,929 It's hard to remember. 388 00:21:20,486 --> 00:21:21,590 How about for you? 389 00:21:21,590 --> 00:21:24,144 Do you feel like he cared about you? 390 00:21:24,144 --> 00:21:26,733 Do you think he's capable... 391 00:21:26,733 --> 00:21:29,253 of caring? 392 00:21:30,944 --> 00:21:32,291 You should talk to him. 393 00:21:34,776 --> 00:21:35,949 He's a... 394 00:21:38,158 --> 00:21:40,264 He's a good man. 395 00:21:41,334 --> 00:21:42,956 Is he? 396 00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:01,320 ...poetic voice, so readily identifiable, 397 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,632 her brachyology, use of rhetorical terms, 398 00:22:03,632 --> 00:22:05,185 wielding rhetorical devices, 399 00:22:05,185 --> 00:22:07,187 syllepsis and apokoinou 400 00:22:07,187 --> 00:22:08,913 like hatchets to her text 401 00:22:08,913 --> 00:22:10,915 while she creates a syntax 402 00:22:10,915 --> 00:22:12,089 for an urban landscape 403 00:22:12,089 --> 00:22:14,125 she both describes and rebirths-- 404 00:22:14,125 --> 00:22:16,818 I-I think I'm going to have to challenge you on that, Fran-- 405 00:22:16,818 --> 00:22:18,026 Okay! 406 00:22:18,026 --> 00:22:19,510 Oh, here we go! 407 00:22:19,510 --> 00:22:21,305 Why is it that we... 408 00:22:21,305 --> 00:22:23,376 How can someone not be self-aware enough 409 00:22:23,376 --> 00:22:25,861 to know they are irrelevant? 410 00:22:25,861 --> 00:22:28,347 I mean, if your gut doesn't tell you this, 411 00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:30,556 there's a lot of clues. 412 00:22:30,556 --> 00:22:31,867 Just look around. 413 00:22:31,867 --> 00:22:34,629 There's 700 channels on TV, 414 00:22:34,629 --> 00:22:38,218 and not a single one of them is devoted to poetry. 415 00:22:39,530 --> 00:22:41,187 And you've accomplished 416 00:22:41,187 --> 00:22:43,327 the greatest achievement of your career, 417 00:22:43,327 --> 00:22:46,295 and seven people showed up for... 418 00:22:46,295 --> 00:22:48,746 whatever this is. 419 00:22:48,746 --> 00:22:51,370 At least I know I don't matter. 420 00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:56,685 Oh, that one guy looks like Javier Bardem. 421 00:22:56,685 --> 00:22:58,169 Blatcher is working 422 00:22:58,169 --> 00:23:01,034 in a revolutionary poetic verbiage 423 00:23:01,034 --> 00:23:02,484 that we see only in... 424 00:23:33,135 --> 00:23:35,552 ♪ I've been thinking lately About the people I meet ♪ 425 00:23:35,552 --> 00:23:37,174 ♪ The car wash on the corner ♪ 426 00:23:37,174 --> 00:23:39,038 ♪ And the hole in the street ♪ 427 00:23:39,038 --> 00:23:41,868 ♪ The way my ankles hurt With shoes on my feet ♪ 428 00:23:41,868 --> 00:23:44,906 ♪ And I'm wondering If I'm gonna see tomorrow ♪ 429 00:23:44,906 --> 00:23:47,564 ♪ Father, forgive us For what we must do ♪ 430 00:23:47,564 --> 00:23:50,394 ♪ You forgive us We'll forgive you ♪ 431 00:23:50,394 --> 00:23:53,052 ♪ We'll forgive each other Till we both turn blue ♪ 432 00:23:53,052 --> 00:23:55,813 ♪ Then we'll whistle And go fishing in heaven... ♪ 433 00:24:01,681 --> 00:24:04,788 ♪ I was in the army But I never dug a trench ♪ 434 00:24:04,788 --> 00:24:06,928 ♪ Used to bust my knuckles On a monkey wrench ♪ 435 00:24:06,928 --> 00:24:08,895 ♪ I'd go to town and drink ♪ 436 00:24:08,895 --> 00:24:10,345 ♪ Give the girls a pinch ♪ 437 00:24:10,345 --> 00:24:13,452 ♪ But I don't think they ever Even noticed me ♪ 438 00:24:13,452 --> 00:24:16,282 ♪ Father, forgive us For what we must do ♪ 439 00:24:16,282 --> 00:24:19,250 ♪ You forgive us We'll forgive you ♪ 440 00:24:19,250 --> 00:24:21,736 ♪ We'll forgive each other Till we both turn blue ♪ 441 00:24:21,736 --> 00:24:24,773 ♪ Then we'll whistle And go fishing in heaven... ♪ 442 00:24:35,784 --> 00:24:37,165 No! 443 00:24:38,787 --> 00:24:40,686 Come on! 444 00:24:40,686 --> 00:24:41,790 That's it, that's it! 445 00:24:44,448 --> 00:24:46,105 No. No... 446 00:24:46,105 --> 00:24:47,900 No, I don't want to hear it. 447 00:24:47,900 --> 00:24:50,937 Yeah, well, then, you shouldn't have stayed out late every night for a month. 448 00:24:50,937 --> 00:24:52,663 That's not someone wanting to be with me. 449 00:24:54,354 --> 00:24:56,011 How long does it take to put up chairs? 450 00:24:56,011 --> 00:24:57,323 There's, like, 30 chairs, 451 00:24:57,323 --> 00:24:58,807 and it takes five seconds a chair. 452 00:24:58,807 --> 00:25:00,084 That doesn't add up, Russell! 453 00:25:00,084 --> 00:25:01,189 That's just math! 454 00:25:09,197 --> 00:25:10,439 Okay, I'm just going to say something 455 00:25:10,439 --> 00:25:13,063 that you don't want to hear. 456 00:25:13,063 --> 00:25:16,238 Is it possible that he's just actually working late? 457 00:25:16,238 --> 00:25:19,000 Yeah, but it's "why is he working late?" 458 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,037 It's because he took a job to be away from me, 459 00:25:22,037 --> 00:25:24,143 just like you're taking a job to be away from Dad. 460 00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:26,663 That is not... 461 00:25:26,663 --> 00:25:27,733 That... 462 00:25:27,733 --> 00:25:29,528 That is not why I took this job. 463 00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:31,737 Oh, come on, it's me. 464 00:25:31,737 --> 00:25:33,462 Yes, I know who I'm talking to. 465 00:25:33,462 --> 00:25:35,568 Okay, calm down. 466 00:25:35,568 --> 00:25:39,261 - You guys are just going through something. - I get it. 467 00:25:39,261 --> 00:25:41,919 - No, you don't. - Okay, so you and Dad are just perfect then? 468 00:25:41,919 --> 00:25:43,921 No. No, Julie, there are little things, 469 00:25:43,921 --> 00:25:45,198 but they're little things, 470 00:25:45,198 --> 00:25:46,890 and then when there's a bigger thing, 471 00:25:46,890 --> 00:25:49,237 then we work it out. 472 00:25:49,237 --> 00:25:50,652 Okay, so that's what you want from me? 473 00:25:50,652 --> 00:25:52,551 - Yeah. - You want me to work it out with Russell 474 00:25:52,551 --> 00:25:54,898 and stay with him, and then in, like, 25 years, 475 00:25:54,898 --> 00:25:56,555 leave him in a cloud of denial? 476 00:25:56,555 --> 00:25:57,901 Oh! 477 00:25:58,971 --> 00:26:01,076 Oh, my God. Get in the car. 478 00:26:02,043 --> 00:26:03,527 We are going to talk to Russell. 479 00:26:03,527 --> 00:26:06,392 No, we're not doing that. We're staying here. I want to finish the game. 480 00:26:06,392 --> 00:26:08,532 Get in the car. 481 00:26:08,532 --> 00:26:09,671 No! 482 00:26:24,444 --> 00:26:25,584 That was super mature. 483 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:29,622 Come on! 484 00:26:29,622 --> 00:26:31,555 You got it! That's it! 485 00:26:35,317 --> 00:26:36,733 Aw! 486 00:26:51,471 --> 00:26:54,923 A little early, no? 487 00:26:54,923 --> 00:26:56,718 It was a disaster. 488 00:26:56,718 --> 00:26:58,789 - What was? - What was? My talk was. 489 00:26:58,789 --> 00:27:00,515 I'm almost glad you weren't there. 490 00:27:01,447 --> 00:27:02,724 It doesn't matter. 491 00:27:02,724 --> 00:27:04,174 I just, I don't even know where to start. 492 00:27:06,314 --> 00:27:08,109 Can I get the same thing? 493 00:27:08,109 --> 00:27:10,663 Um... 494 00:27:10,663 --> 00:27:12,838 start in the middle? 495 00:27:12,838 --> 00:27:15,806 I missed a key paper last year. 496 00:27:15,806 --> 00:27:18,498 Everything I was saying about the neuroscience of moral judgment 497 00:27:18,498 --> 00:27:20,086 was apparently made irrelevant 498 00:27:20,086 --> 00:27:21,812 in the third quarter of the Journal of Neuroscience, 499 00:27:21,812 --> 00:27:23,331 which, in hindsight, 500 00:27:23,331 --> 00:27:26,265 may have been a pretty good thing for me to have been reading. 501 00:27:26,265 --> 00:27:27,853 Well, let's... 502 00:27:27,853 --> 00:27:30,441 Let's qualify relevance here. Relevant to who? 503 00:27:30,441 --> 00:27:32,789 I mean, how many people showed up at this thing? 504 00:27:32,789 --> 00:27:34,376 What does that matter? It was my research. 505 00:27:34,376 --> 00:27:36,965 I'm just trying to put it in perspective, right? 506 00:27:36,965 --> 00:27:38,795 It's not like you lost a patient on the table. 507 00:27:42,039 --> 00:27:44,766 The whole thing was extra embarrassing 508 00:27:44,766 --> 00:27:46,526 because I couldn't even access my notes. 509 00:27:46,526 --> 00:27:49,184 There was a virus on the hotel WiFi. 510 00:27:52,049 --> 00:27:53,188 I heard that was a hoax. 511 00:27:53,568 --> 00:27:54,673 Oh, God... 512 00:27:54,983 --> 00:27:56,605 Go on. 513 00:27:56,605 --> 00:27:58,953 There's nothing to go on about. 514 00:27:58,953 --> 00:28:00,264 It was a nightmare. 515 00:28:00,264 --> 00:28:02,163 I can never come back here. 516 00:28:03,026 --> 00:28:05,545 I think you're wallowing. 517 00:28:06,546 --> 00:28:08,617 It wasn't that important to you yesterday, 518 00:28:08,617 --> 00:28:10,033 or the day before. 519 00:28:10,033 --> 00:28:11,966 I think you're sinking into your feelings-- 520 00:28:11,966 --> 00:28:13,830 Of course it was important to me yesterday. 521 00:28:13,830 --> 00:28:16,971 This has been my work for the last three years. 522 00:28:16,971 --> 00:28:20,560 Your work for the last three years was getting laid 523 00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:23,080 and cheating at racquetball. 524 00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:25,186 I was there, I saw it. Not the sex. 525 00:28:25,186 --> 00:28:27,982 Dude! If that's what you saw, 526 00:28:27,982 --> 00:28:29,535 you weren't there at all. 527 00:28:32,365 --> 00:28:34,195 Are we... Are we having a real argument right now? 528 00:28:34,195 --> 00:28:35,644 Because this... 529 00:28:35,644 --> 00:28:37,336 This isn't supposed to matter, 530 00:28:37,336 --> 00:28:40,028 this academic circle-jerk-a-thon we come to every year. 531 00:28:40,028 --> 00:28:42,548 I mean, making fun of these guys 532 00:28:42,548 --> 00:28:45,516 has been one of the foundational pastimes of our friendship. 533 00:28:45,516 --> 00:28:47,035 No, it's not. 534 00:28:47,035 --> 00:28:49,210 We make fun of them for their haircuts. 535 00:28:49,210 --> 00:28:50,936 We don't make fun of them for caring. 536 00:28:51,902 --> 00:28:53,732 I did, a little. 537 00:28:55,975 --> 00:28:57,390 I see that now. 538 00:28:57,390 --> 00:29:00,462 I don't get why. 539 00:29:01,291 --> 00:29:03,362 You've checked out of academia. 540 00:29:03,362 --> 00:29:05,433 You've checked out of writing. 541 00:29:05,433 --> 00:29:06,883 You've detached yourself 542 00:29:06,883 --> 00:29:10,093 from pretty much everything you care about. 543 00:29:11,094 --> 00:29:12,923 Every year, you care about less, 544 00:29:12,923 --> 00:29:14,062 and you're more depressed. 545 00:29:16,444 --> 00:29:18,584 I just don't see why. 546 00:29:20,448 --> 00:29:24,141 There's other things to care about than work. 547 00:29:24,141 --> 00:29:25,833 I got a wife and a kid. 548 00:29:25,833 --> 00:29:27,593 I know that hasn't worked out for you. I'm sorry, 549 00:29:27,593 --> 00:29:30,078 but it's damn important to me, 550 00:29:30,078 --> 00:29:31,804 so... 551 00:29:34,427 --> 00:29:35,877 Things didn't seem so rosy 552 00:29:35,877 --> 00:29:37,396 the other night at your dinner party. 553 00:29:55,690 --> 00:29:57,416 This is going to be great. 554 00:29:57,416 --> 00:29:59,625 You're acting like we're on a reality show. 555 00:30:01,972 --> 00:30:03,732 My break ends in 10 minutes. 556 00:30:03,732 --> 00:30:05,182 Thank you so much for sitting down with us. 557 00:30:05,182 --> 00:30:06,701 You're so welcome. 558 00:30:06,701 --> 00:30:09,290 I'm always willing to sit down and talk things through. 559 00:30:09,290 --> 00:30:12,603 Yeah, for 10 minutes. - I don't make the bar schedule, okay? 560 00:30:12,603 --> 00:30:14,502 Mr. Travis, he makes the bar schedule. 561 00:30:14,502 --> 00:30:18,092 - The point is I've never seen-- - I've told you so many times-- 562 00:30:18,092 --> 00:30:19,472 Take a breath! 563 00:30:19,472 --> 00:30:21,992 Take a breath, 'cause we can't get anywhere if we're hot-headed. 564 00:30:21,992 --> 00:30:23,649 I agree. 565 00:30:23,649 --> 00:30:27,239 Do you think you can use your calm-down techniques for every situation? 566 00:30:27,239 --> 00:30:29,758 Is this what you do with Dad? Because I'm beginning to see your fight 567 00:30:29,758 --> 00:30:30,932 from his point of view. 568 00:30:30,932 --> 00:30:33,797 What fight? We are not having a fight. 569 00:30:33,797 --> 00:30:35,834 Uh, I mean, to be honest, Mrs. D, 570 00:30:35,834 --> 00:30:37,145 from the outside perspective, 571 00:30:37,145 --> 00:30:38,595 it kind of seems like something's going on. 572 00:30:38,595 --> 00:30:40,010 No, absolutely not. 573 00:30:40,010 --> 00:30:41,494 Then why you are kissing other men at bars? 574 00:30:42,668 --> 00:30:44,359 What? 575 00:30:44,359 --> 00:30:45,533 I'll tell you about it later. 576 00:30:45,533 --> 00:30:47,673 How do you know-- 577 00:30:47,673 --> 00:30:50,124 Okay, I'm sorry, he called me the other day and told me 578 00:30:50,124 --> 00:30:51,780 when he was in, like, that crazy panic. 579 00:30:51,780 --> 00:30:53,058 Who did you kiss? 580 00:30:53,058 --> 00:30:55,750 Okay, look, your father is experiencing mental anguish 581 00:30:55,750 --> 00:30:59,064 from childhood trauma, so it actually has nothing to do with me. 582 00:30:59,064 --> 00:31:01,307 Oh, my God, that's, like, very serious. 583 00:31:01,307 --> 00:31:02,446 Well, is he seeing a psychiatrist? 584 00:31:02,446 --> 00:31:03,689 No. 585 00:31:03,689 --> 00:31:05,346 - Well, he definitely should be. - Yeah. 586 00:31:05,346 --> 00:31:07,141 Actually, there's this guy that comes into the bar, 587 00:31:07,141 --> 00:31:08,590 and he's a therapist, 588 00:31:08,590 --> 00:31:12,525 but he sees a psychiatrist, like, for his own problems, right? 589 00:31:12,525 --> 00:31:15,011 - He says it's awesome. I can get you his card. - No, thank you. 590 00:31:15,011 --> 00:31:17,841 Can we stop comparing whatever this is to my marriage? 591 00:31:17,841 --> 00:31:19,222 - Again-- - That's so unfair. 592 00:31:19,222 --> 00:31:20,671 Mrs. D, I feel like you're the one 593 00:31:20,671 --> 00:31:22,432 who's kind of not seeing things clearly here. 594 00:31:22,432 --> 00:31:24,986 I support Julie, way more than Hank supports you. 595 00:31:24,986 --> 00:31:26,781 Oh, really? How so? 596 00:31:26,781 --> 00:31:30,026 I would go to New York if Julie wanted me to. 597 00:31:30,026 --> 00:31:32,062 - If you asked me to, I would go. - Really? 598 00:31:32,062 --> 00:31:33,995 Yeah, of course. 599 00:31:33,995 --> 00:31:36,342 - That's very nice. Thank you. - Of course, I'd go. 600 00:31:36,342 --> 00:31:37,585 So then, why are you cheating on her, big shot? 601 00:31:37,585 --> 00:31:38,897 - Mom! - Whoa! I'm not. 602 00:31:38,897 --> 00:31:40,105 Julie thinks otherwise. 603 00:31:40,105 --> 00:31:41,278 - What? I'm so not! - No, I don't! 604 00:31:41,278 --> 00:31:43,384 - I am so not! - I know! I believe you! 605 00:31:43,384 --> 00:31:44,730 What? 606 00:31:44,730 --> 00:31:46,352 - I've told her that! - That's the reason-- 607 00:31:46,352 --> 00:31:49,252 Then why aren't you masturbating as much, huh? 608 00:31:49,252 --> 00:31:50,425 - Whoa! Okay, hang on! - Tell me that! 609 00:31:50,425 --> 00:31:51,564 - Mom! - You brought it up! 610 00:31:52,255 --> 00:31:53,394 You can't say that to him! 611 00:31:53,394 --> 00:31:54,464 You brought it up at the house! 612 00:31:54,464 --> 00:31:55,672 - I'm so not! - I didn't bring that-- 613 00:31:55,672 --> 00:31:56,949 Why did you bring that up to her? 614 00:31:56,949 --> 00:31:58,088 You're masturbating the same amount. 615 00:31:58,088 --> 00:31:59,193 Why would I ever bring that up? 616 00:31:59,193 --> 00:32:00,401 You are a traitor! 617 00:32:00,401 --> 00:32:01,747 You need therapy, too! 618 00:32:01,747 --> 00:32:03,266 You need-- For real, you need help. 619 00:32:03,266 --> 00:32:04,577 You do need therapy. You should go to-- 620 00:32:04,577 --> 00:32:05,993 Couples counseling! Yes! 621 00:32:05,993 --> 00:32:08,650 You guys deserve each other. I think this went really beautifully. 622 00:32:08,650 --> 00:32:10,204 Sit down, let's keep talking about that. 623 00:32:10,204 --> 00:32:12,965 We managed to do that with eight minutes to spare! 624 00:32:12,965 --> 00:32:14,277 - Good luck. - Where are you going? 625 00:32:14,277 --> 00:32:15,934 - Don't leave. - You drove me here! 626 00:32:20,076 --> 00:32:21,111 I would go to New York with you. 627 00:32:21,111 --> 00:32:22,561 - Would you really? - Yeah, of course. 628 00:32:44,100 --> 00:32:45,170 Give me a moment. 629 00:32:46,136 --> 00:32:48,000 If I'm there more than 30 seconds, 630 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,658 then just say we're due somewhere. 631 00:32:51,866 --> 00:32:53,626 Hank. 632 00:32:53,626 --> 00:32:57,423 Thank you for briefly stopping by my panel. 633 00:32:57,423 --> 00:32:59,253 For a moment, I thought you were there to heckle. 634 00:32:59,253 --> 00:33:00,288 Heckle? 635 00:33:01,841 --> 00:33:02,946 I'm sorry. 636 00:33:02,946 --> 00:33:04,983 - Uh... - What? 637 00:33:07,709 --> 00:33:08,987 Well, the turnout, you know. 638 00:33:08,987 --> 00:33:10,471 - I mean-- - Oh. 639 00:33:10,471 --> 00:33:12,645 ...it's tough when the panelists outnumber the audience. 640 00:33:12,645 --> 00:33:14,509 - We've all been there. - No, not at all. 641 00:33:15,855 --> 00:33:16,960 We ran with it, 642 00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:19,204 and we turned the event into a workshop. 643 00:33:19,721 --> 00:33:21,516 It was... 644 00:33:21,516 --> 00:33:24,174 It was the most invigorating conversation I've had in a long time. 645 00:33:24,174 --> 00:33:28,351 I don't know if I'm just coming into my own, 646 00:33:28,351 --> 00:33:30,594 or the world is catching up to me, 647 00:33:30,594 --> 00:33:32,355 but I want to wear a T-shirt 648 00:33:32,355 --> 00:33:35,254 that says, "I've been... 649 00:33:35,254 --> 00:33:36,600 here 650 00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:38,913 the whole time!" 651 00:33:38,913 --> 00:33:41,019 Maybe I'd use a different meter. Yoo-hoo. 652 00:33:43,883 --> 00:33:45,230 See you back at the playground. 653 00:33:45,230 --> 00:33:46,576 Congrats on The Atlantic. 654 00:34:00,693 --> 00:34:03,420 ♪ I'm a-walking down ♪ 655 00:34:03,420 --> 00:34:07,528 ♪ That lonely road ♪ 656 00:34:07,528 --> 00:34:11,014 ♪ It's so windy ♪ 657 00:34:11,014 --> 00:34:14,431 ♪ So chilly and cold ♪ 658 00:34:22,301 --> 00:34:26,512 So, how did it go? 659 00:34:26,512 --> 00:34:27,927 Is Julie still here? 660 00:34:27,927 --> 00:34:29,688 They have got issues. 661 00:34:29,688 --> 00:34:31,379 Well, I knew that, but did she go home? 662 00:34:31,379 --> 00:34:33,278 She's not here, is she? 663 00:34:34,451 --> 00:34:35,866 You know what? 664 00:34:35,866 --> 00:34:38,835 It's their marriage, and it has nothing to do with ours. 665 00:34:38,835 --> 00:34:41,389 - Who said it did? - Nobody, 666 00:34:41,389 --> 00:34:43,736 and I just think 667 00:34:44,875 --> 00:34:47,775 that I'm going to stay out of it. 668 00:34:47,775 --> 00:34:49,052 You know, I think this generation, 669 00:34:49,052 --> 00:34:50,812 they don't... 670 00:34:53,091 --> 00:34:55,093 They see marriage like it's this game 671 00:34:55,093 --> 00:34:58,130 where you just say anything and you do whatever you want, 672 00:34:58,130 --> 00:35:00,615 and you're really super "over share-y" 673 00:35:00,615 --> 00:35:03,273 about every single stupid feeling, 674 00:35:03,273 --> 00:35:04,723 and all of that 675 00:35:04,723 --> 00:35:05,827 is just supposed to, like, 676 00:35:05,827 --> 00:35:08,554 fit together into a relationship. 677 00:35:10,694 --> 00:35:11,902 I don't know what I'm saying, 678 00:35:11,902 --> 00:35:15,147 except that thank God, that's not our marriage. 679 00:35:16,286 --> 00:35:19,117 Yeah, okay. 680 00:35:19,117 --> 00:35:21,774 Do you know what I mean? 681 00:35:21,774 --> 00:35:23,121 Yeah. 682 00:35:32,544 --> 00:35:36,237 You ever feel like you're right next to your life? 683 00:35:36,962 --> 00:35:38,170 I feel like 684 00:35:38,170 --> 00:35:40,138 I'm watching this guy who looks like me, 685 00:35:40,138 --> 00:35:41,829 and he's doing all this stuff, 686 00:35:41,829 --> 00:35:44,797 and I just want to tap him on the shoulder and say, 687 00:35:44,797 --> 00:35:47,110 "What's your problem?" 688 00:35:49,526 --> 00:35:50,941 I think I want back in. 689 00:35:54,186 --> 00:35:56,947 Respect. 690 00:35:58,466 --> 00:36:00,365 All right, well, 691 00:36:00,365 --> 00:36:01,642 you want to start with New York? 692 00:36:02,643 --> 00:36:04,334 Absolutely. 693 00:36:04,334 --> 00:36:05,473 Okay, great. 694 00:36:05,473 --> 00:36:07,924 Um, I've asked for a four-day week. 695 00:36:07,924 --> 00:36:11,169 As for the living arrangements, 696 00:36:11,169 --> 00:36:13,171 I found a couple of places 697 00:36:13,171 --> 00:36:15,311 that I think are pretty cute, and-- 698 00:36:15,311 --> 00:36:17,520 I need to see my dad. 699 00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:19,315 What? 700 00:36:19,315 --> 00:36:20,523 I'm sorry. 701 00:36:20,523 --> 00:36:22,525 I know you were talking, and I want to hear it, 702 00:36:22,525 --> 00:36:24,768 but I think I need to see my dad before he leaves. 703 00:36:24,768 --> 00:36:26,045 Eh... I don't know. 704 00:36:26,045 --> 00:36:27,530 I'm going to go. 705 00:37:35,322 --> 00:37:36,599 Oh. 706 00:37:36,599 --> 00:37:37,945 It's good to see you. 707 00:37:39,395 --> 00:37:40,844 How's retirement? 708 00:37:40,844 --> 00:37:42,190 Oh, well, 709 00:37:42,190 --> 00:37:44,400 it's very new for your father, of course, 710 00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:45,539 and I would say 711 00:37:45,539 --> 00:37:48,818 that an academic never truly retires. 712 00:37:48,818 --> 00:37:52,028 Mom, could I just talk to Dad alone, please? 713 00:37:52,028 --> 00:37:54,306 Where exactly am I supposed to go? 714 00:38:00,761 --> 00:38:02,314 I'll make some tea. 715 00:38:13,843 --> 00:38:15,016 How... 716 00:38:15,016 --> 00:38:17,122 How is your research coming along? 717 00:38:17,122 --> 00:38:18,157 No. 718 00:38:20,470 --> 00:38:21,609 You tell me 719 00:38:21,609 --> 00:38:23,784 what was behind your decision to move here? 720 00:38:23,784 --> 00:38:25,303 Oh. 721 00:38:25,303 --> 00:38:27,408 Well, I recently retired. 722 00:38:27,408 --> 00:38:29,341 The city no longer felt essential. 723 00:38:29,341 --> 00:38:31,481 Okay, but why here? 724 00:38:31,481 --> 00:38:33,587 I have family here. 725 00:38:33,587 --> 00:38:37,315 We haven't spoken in person in almost 25 years. 726 00:38:37,315 --> 00:38:40,525 Can we just cut the bullshit and talk like two adults? 727 00:38:40,525 --> 00:38:42,320 Would you be willing to do that? 728 00:38:42,941 --> 00:38:44,805 I am willing. 729 00:38:46,462 --> 00:38:47,946 Well... 730 00:38:47,946 --> 00:38:50,155 I... 731 00:38:50,155 --> 00:38:53,020 I'm feeling a lot of stuff right now. 732 00:38:55,678 --> 00:38:59,820 I've gone over this conversation 733 00:38:59,820 --> 00:39:02,340 for years in my head, 734 00:39:02,340 --> 00:39:05,343 but I don't really know where to start. 735 00:39:05,343 --> 00:39:07,137 Start in the middle. 736 00:39:10,071 --> 00:39:13,143 I think I might begin by telling you 737 00:39:13,143 --> 00:39:15,353 how hard it was for me 738 00:39:15,353 --> 00:39:18,321 to grow up without a father. 739 00:39:19,495 --> 00:39:22,360 What happened to him? 740 00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:26,640 I'm talking about you leaving your family. 741 00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:29,919 When I left, I got a job at Columbia. 742 00:39:29,919 --> 00:39:31,886 After a string of fellowships, 743 00:39:31,886 --> 00:39:35,994 I had the opportunity to stay at one institution 744 00:39:35,994 --> 00:39:38,065 and focus on my research. 745 00:39:38,065 --> 00:39:39,825 It was too good to pass up. 746 00:39:39,825 --> 00:39:41,586 Yeah, I don't give a shit about the job. 747 00:39:41,586 --> 00:39:43,001 I mean, I know it was impressive, 748 00:39:43,001 --> 00:39:45,555 but you left mom and me for another woman. 749 00:39:47,039 --> 00:39:49,179 Oh, yes. Well, that was a difficult time-- 750 00:39:49,179 --> 00:39:51,768 Difficult? Was it difficult for you? 751 00:39:51,768 --> 00:39:54,530 I'm not being glib here, 752 00:39:54,530 --> 00:39:56,152 I actually want to know. 753 00:39:56,152 --> 00:39:59,155 How exactly was it difficult for you 754 00:39:59,155 --> 00:40:01,847 when you saw a child on the floor 755 00:40:01,847 --> 00:40:03,711 with a rope around his neck. your son... 756 00:40:05,472 --> 00:40:08,544 how did that impact you? 757 00:40:08,544 --> 00:40:10,925 And why was the answer to that 758 00:40:10,925 --> 00:40:13,376 to cut off all contact with your son? 759 00:40:15,999 --> 00:40:18,623 Oh, you're talking about Hank? 760 00:40:19,900 --> 00:40:22,350 He was a stubborn child. 761 00:40:22,350 --> 00:40:24,318 Strong-willed, demanding. 762 00:40:27,286 --> 00:40:30,531 He won't actually speak to me now. 763 00:40:30,531 --> 00:40:33,292 Did you know that? 764 00:40:33,292 --> 00:40:35,709 I'm talking to you right now. 765 00:40:35,709 --> 00:40:38,090 Yes, you are. 766 00:40:39,333 --> 00:40:41,956 Milk, two sugars, right? 767 00:40:52,311 --> 00:40:53,796 Dad, how did you get to town? 768 00:40:53,796 --> 00:40:55,832 Did you come by car or train? 769 00:40:58,835 --> 00:41:00,630 Either way, I arrived. 770 00:41:02,529 --> 00:41:03,806 What day of the week is it? 771 00:41:03,806 --> 00:41:07,085 Oh, my God, we both need a new calendar. 772 00:41:10,122 --> 00:41:13,298 How do you like living in Florida? 773 00:41:15,127 --> 00:41:17,336 It's quite pleasant here in the winter, 774 00:41:17,336 --> 00:41:19,304 but... 775 00:41:19,304 --> 00:41:20,961 I'll tell you, 776 00:41:20,961 --> 00:41:22,790 summertime, 777 00:41:22,790 --> 00:41:25,621 the humidity is terrible for books. 778 00:41:28,969 --> 00:41:32,282 Who's the current president? 779 00:41:32,282 --> 00:41:35,527 Can we not talk about politics tonight? 780 00:41:42,707 --> 00:41:46,227 What do you want to talk about? 781 00:41:46,227 --> 00:41:48,885 Well, I have a new book coming out, 782 00:41:48,885 --> 00:41:50,853 and the publishers want me to tour 783 00:41:50,853 --> 00:41:53,959 up and down the East Coast. 784 00:41:53,959 --> 00:41:57,031 I'm awaiting approval from the college, of course, 785 00:41:57,031 --> 00:42:00,138 and we might have to delay it 786 00:42:00,138 --> 00:42:03,003 until my sabbatical comes up. 787 00:42:06,869 --> 00:42:08,664 I wish you luck with that. 788 00:42:08,664 --> 00:42:09,734 Thank you. 789 00:42:09,734 --> 00:42:12,391 Thank you. I hope it all works out, 790 00:42:12,391 --> 00:42:15,256 but how are things going for you?