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Florida, 1990.
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00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,760
I woke up with a ferocious hangover.
5
00:00:57,432 --> 00:01:01,103
I placed my left hand across the bridge
of my nose to block the sunlight.
6
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:07,317
A moth's wing fluttered
against my right cheek.
7
00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:10,737
I put my hand in front of my face
8
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:13,407
so I could finger-flick
the little beastie across the room.
9
00:01:16,702 --> 00:01:18,245
That's when I noticed my pinkie.
10
00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:24,042
Auto animated.
11
00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:35,804
"For Christ's sake,
it's just your freaking finger."
12
00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:38,891
But it wasn't mine.
13
00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:42,769
Shit. It was somebody else's.
14
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,022
Had I hit my head?
15
00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:49,818
The tape of the previous night's events
was grainy at best.
16
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,864
Woody Harrelson was in the bar
the night before.
17
00:01:54,573 --> 00:01:57,034
Maybe we'd had
one of our legendary drunken fights.
18
00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:05,334
But I couldn't recall any such melee.
19
00:02:08,127 --> 00:02:11,381
I did recall how my bodyguard
had to prop me up against the doorframe
20
00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:13,759
while he fumbled the key into the door
of my suite.
21
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:19,014
But I didn't feel any bumps. Fuck.
22
00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:19,973
{\an8}Action!
23
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:21,141
{\an8}Action, Michael!
24
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,768
Michael, Michael!
25
00:02:22,768 --> 00:02:26,146
Here is as hot as you get
in the history of this business.
26
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,773
And the winner is Michael J. Fox.
27
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,400
We're rolling.
28
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,569
In the face of all evidence
to the contrary...
29
00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:35,697
- Very, very still. Mark.
- ...I was in an acid bath of fear...
30
00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:37,991
and professional insecurity.
31
00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:50,546
The trembling was a message...
32
00:02:54,967 --> 00:02:55,968
from the future.
33
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:43,640
Everyone talks now
about owning their narrative.
34
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,851
So, the sad sack story is,
35
00:03:45,851 --> 00:03:49,396
"Michael J. Fox gets this debilitating
disease, and it crushes him."
36
00:03:52,524 --> 00:03:53,650
Yeah, that's boring.
37
00:03:58,197 --> 00:04:00,699
My hair went curly,
like, at like, like, at 49.
38
00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:03,035
It never was curly,
and all of a sudden it went--
39
00:04:03,035 --> 00:04:05,162
I woke up one morning in Santa Barbara
and my hair was curly.
40
00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:07,956
- I think it's a good look.
- I can put some jam in it.
41
00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:10,000
- No.
- I can put a hat on.
42
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:14,296
It's just caring too much
about what I look like for a documentary.
43
00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:15,589
Yeah. It's you.
44
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,468
Okay, now look at me.
45
00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:21,345
There you go.
46
00:04:21,345 --> 00:04:23,055
- Coming in.
- Uh-oh.
47
00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:26,183
Wha-- Guys, at a certain point it's just--
48
00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:28,018
- it just is what it is.
- Just right here.
49
00:04:29,645 --> 00:04:30,646
- Hey.
- Hey.
50
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:33,857
- How you doing?
- Yeah, I'm doing good.
51
00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:35,567
Watch me.
52
00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,322
- How's your day going so far?
- So far?
53
00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:45,077
So far it's successful.
54
00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:47,204
Everyone knows you have Parkinson's,
55
00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:49,581
but when they see you walking,
they're like, "Oh, fuck."
56
00:04:50,082 --> 00:04:51,083
Yeah.
57
00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:54,670
Good. Stop and reset.
58
00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:57,381
Good. There we go.
59
00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:00,092
The walking thing
really freaks people out.
60
00:05:01,093 --> 00:05:02,094
Look.
61
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:05,097
But I won't hide it from you.
62
00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:06,390
- Hey.
- Hey.
63
00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:08,517
And you can do with it what you will.
64
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:12,187
If you pity me,
it's never gonna get to me.
65
00:05:12,187 --> 00:05:14,731
I'm not pathetic.
I'm-- I got shit going on.
66
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:15,983
Hi, how you doing?
67
00:05:18,861 --> 00:05:20,195
Take your time.
68
00:05:20,195 --> 00:05:22,030
I'm a tough son of a bitch.
69
00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:24,700
I'm a cockroach,
and I've been through a lot of stuff.
70
00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,827
- You can't kill a cockroach.
- Can't kill a cockroach.
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00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,996
Nice and slowly, nice and slowly.
72
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:30,330
There you go. Beautiful.
73
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,249
- Hey, how are you?
- Good. How are you?
74
00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:33,792
Good. Stop and reset.
75
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,003
Mr. Fox.
76
00:05:40,883 --> 00:05:42,050
That happened.
77
00:05:43,218 --> 00:05:46,096
- You got it?
- All right-- I'm okay. Thank you.
78
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,391
Okay. Nice to meet you, sir.
79
00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:51,101
Nice to meet you.
You knocked me off my feet.
80
00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:16,793
Before Parkinson's,
what did it mean to be still?
81
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:19,713
I wouldn't know.
82
00:06:20,923 --> 00:06:22,382
I wouldn't know. I was never still.
83
00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:35,521
I can't pretend to remember
my two-year-old state of mind.
84
00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:41,652
Knee-high, weighing little more than
a wet beach towel, and slippery quick.
85
00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:46,031
But it's likely that my motive
in wandering out the back door
86
00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:47,324
was not to escape.
87
00:06:47,950 --> 00:06:50,202
More likely,
I failed to recognize boundaries.
88
00:06:52,204 --> 00:06:53,747
When the phone rang a few minutes later,
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00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:56,708
the proprietor of the candy store tried
to contain his amusement.
90
00:06:58,544 --> 00:07:00,045
"Got your son here."
91
00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:03,507
I can easily picture my mother
in utter disbelief that I'd bolted.
92
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,217
"Let him have a candy or something.
93
00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:07,553
My husband will be right there
to pick him up and pay for it."
94
00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:09,972
"He's got money."
95
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:13,684
"He's got quite a bit of money,
as a matter of fact."
96
00:07:17,229 --> 00:07:20,482
As a kid,
I lacked the faith required to be still.
97
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,820
It is one of the great ironies in my life.
98
00:07:25,529 --> 00:07:27,614
I couldn't be still
until I could literally...
99
00:07:30,284 --> 00:07:31,493
no longer keep still.
100
00:07:39,585 --> 00:07:42,588
When my baby sister arrived,
I wasn't jealous.
101
00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:44,923
What the hell, the more the merrier.
102
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:49,720
But by the time I was six
and she was three, we were the same size.
103
00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:54,099
I have a specific memory
of being asked if we were twins,
104
00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:57,144
but once told that my twin
was actually three years younger,
105
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:58,812
people's reactions changed.
106
00:08:00,022 --> 00:08:02,482
I realized that I was expected
to be bigger.
107
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,943
This was a new one on me.
108
00:08:07,446 --> 00:08:09,156
I couldn't do "bigger."
109
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:13,285
{\an8}I was the shortest in my class.
110
00:08:13,285 --> 00:08:15,704
{\an8}Shorter than any of the people
I played hockey with.
111
00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:18,207
I was the guy who'd climb down
into the grate and get the ball.
112
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,170
{\an8}But I used to get my ass kicked.
I was a little guy.
113
00:08:26,215 --> 00:08:27,633
I'd get stuffed in lockers.
114
00:08:31,637 --> 00:08:35,557
{\an8}If big guys are purposely coming
after you, and then fucking hammering you...
115
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:40,770
But I'd always relied on my ability
to run from any potential bully.
116
00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:44,650
Just when the earth seemed
to be sliding out from beneath me,
117
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,528
I stumbled onto a foothold.
118
00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:52,783
Drama class.
119
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:56,954
That's where the girls were.
120
00:08:59,248 --> 00:09:00,958
And I was Rumpelstiltskin in a play.
121
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,877
- You were Rumpelstiltskin?
- I was Rumpelstiltskin, yeah.
122
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:10,217
You also looked five years younger.
123
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:12,886
Yeah, I was just a little elf.
124
00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:17,599
I was cute and elfin. I was a cute elf.
125
00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:18,809
A cute elf.
126
00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:23,772
In drama class, you could be big.
127
00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:26,400
In drama class, you could be anything.
128
00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:30,779
But my head was up my ass
if you asked my father.
129
00:09:32,281 --> 00:09:37,077
Dad was a pragmatist, determined to
protect his family from romantic fantasy.
130
00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:42,374
He'd had dreams as a young boy, but they'd
been effectively knocked out of him.
131
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:45,919
He had a certain amount of rage.
132
00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:50,132
You'd see his lip curl,
and you knew you were in trouble.
133
00:09:50,132 --> 00:09:53,468
Then you'd go, "Oh, shit. I'm fucked now."
134
00:09:55,846 --> 00:09:59,933
A call from the principal's office
meant a harsh reprimand from Dad.
135
00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:04,938
And he'd say, "Goddamn it! Goddamn it."
136
00:10:06,190 --> 00:10:09,067
I began to spend more
of my time smoking and drinking.
137
00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:11,361
And I became a serial fender bender...
138
00:10:13,405 --> 00:10:15,449
inflicting damage to my dad's cars.
139
00:10:17,868 --> 00:10:19,411
So, in his mind, you're a fuckup.
140
00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:22,206
Yeah, a potential fuckup.
141
00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:27,878
Hey. Looking good.
142
00:10:27,878 --> 00:10:31,423
These shoes are terrific.
Now I got a fighting chance.
143
00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:34,218
When I was 16,
144
00:10:34,218 --> 00:10:37,304
my acting teacher
thrust a newspaper into my hands.
145
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:39,223
"They're looking for a bright
12-year-old kid,
146
00:10:39,723 --> 00:10:42,351
and hell, you'd be the brightest
12-year-old kid they're ever gonna meet."
147
00:10:42,351 --> 00:10:45,812
But I'm gonna blow it, Leo.
All those people looking at me.
148
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:48,148
We're ready for you in Makeup.
149
00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:50,943
You're gonna make history, kid.
150
00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:55,030
Gotta grow an inch by Friday.
151
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:57,991
I got the part. It was that easy.
152
00:10:58,992 --> 00:10:59,993
Basketball tryouts?
153
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:02,079
No. Penny Montgomery.
154
00:11:02,079 --> 00:11:05,749
If I stand real close,
I can't see her face.
155
00:11:08,544 --> 00:11:11,129
The casting director believed
I held an advantage.
156
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,132
American producers would be eager
to hire an actor
157
00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:15,843
who looked young enough to play a kid.
158
00:11:16,635 --> 00:11:20,222
But that meant moving to Hollywood
and dropping out of high school.
159
00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:24,726
And that seemed inconceivable.
160
00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:29,398
Dad,
"Are you sure this is what you wanna do?"
161
00:11:30,274 --> 00:11:32,109
Me, "Absolutely."
162
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,403
"You're that confident?"
163
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,363
"Absolutely."
164
00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:41,159
And then Dad shocked me.
165
00:11:43,579 --> 00:11:45,831
"Well, if you're gonna be a lumberjack,
166
00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:47,875
you might as well go
to the goddamn forest."
167
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:52,629
So, secretly, he believed in you.
168
00:11:54,173 --> 00:11:55,340
Yeah.
169
00:12:00,512 --> 00:12:02,222
Dad agreed to underwrite the adventure,
170
00:12:03,432 --> 00:12:05,184
putting the whole trip on his Visa card.
171
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:43,472
I remember thinking just how far Dad
and I had come over the past few weeks.
172
00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:49,937
He advised me that he'd just drive
to the appointments
173
00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:51,688
and debrief me after each one.
174
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:56,318
His way of signaling to me
that this was my show, not his.
175
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,451
Hello.
176
00:13:06,328 --> 00:13:07,788
No, that's perfect.
177
00:13:09,498 --> 00:13:11,375
Every audition earned a callback,
178
00:13:11,375 --> 00:13:13,877
and three of the callbacks produced
solid offers.
179
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:21,802
"You've got the world by the tail,"
Dad said. "Just hold on."
180
00:13:26,515 --> 00:13:29,142
My studio apartment was
in the slums of Beverly Hills.
181
00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:34,481
It's the prettiest house
I ever seen in my life.
182
00:13:35,274 --> 00:13:37,776
Well, I was just thinking I'm glad
you came home with me.
183
00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:45,534
The apartment was 17-by-12 feet.
One mattress, one hot plate,
184
00:13:45,534 --> 00:13:50,122
with a microscopic bathroom
and the domicile's one and only sink.
185
00:13:54,126 --> 00:13:57,129
I washed my hair with Palmolive
and my dishes with Head & Shoulders.
186
00:14:02,259 --> 00:14:04,595
I really had a great time tonight.
187
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:10,267
I enlisted Ronald McDonald
as my exclusive nutritionist.
188
00:14:15,981 --> 00:14:18,442
- We alone?
- Alone?
189
00:14:19,443 --> 00:14:22,196
I mean, is your husband lurking about?
190
00:14:23,447 --> 00:14:25,407
But by the spring of 1982...
191
00:14:25,407 --> 00:14:26,491
Schweitzer.
192
00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:28,410
...the scenario was grim.
193
00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:30,162
What's going on here? What is this?
194
00:14:30,162 --> 00:14:33,540
Please relax, Mr. Wyatt.
I'm going to examine your chest.
195
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:36,210
- Hey, is this a joke or something?
- Hi.
196
00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:38,128
I continued to pick up acting jobs,
197
00:14:39,171 --> 00:14:41,131
but they barely earned me enough
to live on.
198
00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:44,218
My agent took 10% of my paycheck.
199
00:14:44,218 --> 00:14:45,469
Your paycheck.
200
00:14:46,053 --> 00:14:48,680
And then there was the photographer,
publicist or lawyer.
201
00:14:49,515 --> 00:14:52,392
- It says "$1.25."
- Yeah, so?
202
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,311
I'm telling you it's wrong.
It's a mistake!
203
00:14:55,229 --> 00:14:58,190
I worked hard for this. It's not fair.
204
00:14:58,190 --> 00:15:00,025
I worked too hard for this.
205
00:15:00,609 --> 00:15:01,860
I began to liquidate.
206
00:15:02,694 --> 00:15:05,489
I sold off my sectional sofa
section by section.
207
00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:12,996
I came close on a couple of movies.
Most notably, Ordinary People.
208
00:15:13,497 --> 00:15:16,458
But Robert Redford seemed less than
impressed by my reading.
209
00:15:17,042 --> 00:15:18,961
He spent the audition flossing his teeth.
210
00:15:21,547 --> 00:15:23,799
Why did they have to come here
in the first place?
211
00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:26,385
The rejection can be so matter-of-fact
212
00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:28,846
that there's a danger
you'll get numbed by it.
213
00:15:28,846 --> 00:15:31,890
Don't listen to those that
don't know what they're talking about.
214
00:15:33,892 --> 00:15:35,185
I was down to days.
215
00:15:37,855 --> 00:15:41,358
So, you're running out of
money. That's all that--
216
00:15:41,358 --> 00:15:45,821
I wa-- "Running out" is generous.
I had no money.
217
00:15:46,405 --> 00:15:48,866
- I was taking jam packets from IHOPs.
- What's that?
218
00:15:48,866 --> 00:15:50,826
- Like, just-- Smucker's.
219
00:15:50,826 --> 00:15:52,077
- Why?
- To eat.
220
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,746
- Come on.
- And I wa--
221
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:57,374
I was finding quarters
and nickels and dimes,
222
00:15:57,374 --> 00:16:00,377
and I'd use that to get to the next
moment. I was living beat to beat.
223
00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:03,297
And I said, "I gotta get out of here.
I have no money,
224
00:16:03,297 --> 00:16:07,467
and I owe the IRS money, and I'm
ducking the landlord, and I got no phone."
225
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,595
I mean, I have to walk to the airport.
226
00:16:09,595 --> 00:16:12,222
- What was the expectation?
- I-- My expectation was,
227
00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:13,807
my brother's
a construction superintendent,
228
00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:16,393
and I'd be working on his sites
picking up nails.
229
00:16:20,189 --> 00:16:21,732
But I still had a chip and a chair.
230
00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:24,693
A what?
231
00:16:24,693 --> 00:16:27,946
Playing poker, as long as you got
a chip left and a chair to sit in,
232
00:16:28,447 --> 00:16:30,365
you're in the game.
You got a chip and a chair.
233
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,208
This was it. This was my last shot.
234
00:16:48,217 --> 00:16:50,469
"You gotta stop hawking me
about this kid,"
235
00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:54,348
producer Gary David Goldberg told
the casting director of his new sitcom.
236
00:16:54,348 --> 00:16:56,600
We don't wanna get into an area
where we're bringing someone on
237
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,019
who's not funny. You know, and there's
not any comedy there.
238
00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:01,438
"There's no way
I'm gonna change my mind on this.
239
00:17:01,438 --> 00:17:03,023
He's just not our guy."
240
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:06,527
I think we all feel
that Alex is super competent,
241
00:17:06,527 --> 00:17:09,905
you know, editor of the paper,
but sympathetic underneath.
242
00:17:10,948 --> 00:17:12,741
"I know what I want, and I'm telling you,
243
00:17:12,741 --> 00:17:15,577
I don't want Michael Fox
playing Alex Keaton."
244
00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:20,415
No. I want this job. I need it.
I can do it.
245
00:17:20,415 --> 00:17:22,709
Everywhere I've been,
there's always been something wrong.
246
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:26,922
Too young, too old, too short, too tall.
Whatever the exception is, I can fix it.
247
00:17:26,922 --> 00:17:29,550
I can be older. I can be taller.
I can be anything.
248
00:17:33,262 --> 00:17:38,100
- Here we go. Ready? In five.
- Five, four, three, two!
249
00:17:43,272 --> 00:17:45,482
Wait, I'm sorry,
my script just went to pieces.
250
00:17:47,568 --> 00:17:49,444
- Where is it? Shit.
- Top of 11.
251
00:17:49,945 --> 00:17:51,613
"It's his first day of kindergarten, Mom.
252
00:17:51,613 --> 00:17:54,032
He doesn't wanna be late.
This could affect his entire life."
253
00:17:55,701 --> 00:17:58,996
"Mal's right. After all, this
is my alma mater. I am a legend there."
254
00:18:01,790 --> 00:18:04,126
And they laughed. And I just went--
255
00:18:04,668 --> 00:18:10,465
It was just, like... a wash of, like, "Wow."
256
00:18:10,465 --> 00:18:11,633
"I got one too."
257
00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:20,350
There's no drink, there's no drug,
there's no woman, there's no-- nothing
258
00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:23,187
that can touch that moment for me
as a 22-year-old guy
259
00:18:23,187 --> 00:18:26,064
who'd been fighting for three years
to make it.
260
00:18:26,732 --> 00:18:28,025
"Good, good, good, good, good."
261
00:18:30,861 --> 00:18:32,779
Laughter is-- You can't help it.
262
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:35,073
I-- Like, I just found something,
263
00:18:35,073 --> 00:18:38,577
a way to communicate with you that
you didn't expect, you have no--
264
00:18:38,577 --> 00:18:41,663
you have no answer for it,
except to make a noise.
265
00:18:41,663 --> 00:18:42,748
"...kidding me? Come"--
266
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:51,757
If you didn't have any, you'd have
to let air out. It's really honest.
267
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:56,011
Gary David Goldberg leaned back
in his chair and said,
268
00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:58,639
"Why didn't anybody tell me
about this kid?"
269
00:19:00,474 --> 00:19:01,308
Great.
270
00:19:03,018 --> 00:19:06,104
I was standing at a pay phone
outside of a Pioneer Chicken franchise.
271
00:19:07,105 --> 00:19:09,608
While my agent was talking
about a seven-figure salary,
272
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:15,822
I stared at the menu wishing I had
$1.99 to buy the buffalo wings.
273
00:19:17,574 --> 00:19:20,035
The contract could not be officially
locked in, however,
274
00:19:20,661 --> 00:19:25,290
as the NBC executive wunderkind
head of programming, Brandon Tartikoff,
275
00:19:25,290 --> 00:19:28,126
was absolutely against giving me
the role of Alex Keaton.
276
00:19:28,627 --> 00:19:32,673
This guy is very proficient,
and he hits the comedy,
277
00:19:32,673 --> 00:19:37,594
but I don't think we're talking about
somebody who's gonna be on a lunch box.
278
00:19:39,054 --> 00:19:42,099
It would be a relatively simple
matter for me to be fired and replaced.
279
00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:47,646
The argument raged on right up to the day
we began shooting the pilot.
280
00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:01,243
So, welcome to Family Ties, everybody.
281
00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:02,703
Andy, we ready to go?
282
00:20:02,703 --> 00:20:05,664
Whatever happened in the next hour
was gonna decide my fate.
283
00:20:05,664 --> 00:20:08,000
The guys will bring down the house lights.
284
00:20:26,685 --> 00:20:29,021
Start your VTRs, please.
Start your machines.
285
00:20:30,022 --> 00:20:31,565
Okay, Paul, you got the first shot.
286
00:20:31,565 --> 00:20:34,651
- Have a good show, everyone.
- Three, two...
287
00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:38,530
Here we go. We're ready. And action. Go.
288
00:20:41,116 --> 00:20:43,535
Hello. May I tell him who's calling?
289
00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:45,370
Kimberly Blanton.
290
00:20:45,370 --> 00:20:46,747
- Kimberly.
- I'm sorry...
291
00:20:46,747 --> 00:20:48,916
From the moment I ad-libbed
the initial P...
292
00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:50,584
Alex P. Keaton here.
293
00:20:56,048 --> 00:20:58,592
...I felt as though the audience
was aware of my desperate days
294
00:20:58,592 --> 00:20:59,885
leading up to that moment.
295
00:21:01,178 --> 00:21:04,598
Hi. Sorry I had to answer the door myself.
Our butler's off tonight.
296
00:21:11,021 --> 00:21:14,191
If Kimberly doesn't like your family
for who they are,
297
00:21:14,191 --> 00:21:17,402
then maybe she isn't worth caring
about at all, don't you think?
298
00:21:18,487 --> 00:21:20,906
Are you gonna wear your hair like that,
or are you gonna put it up?
299
00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:28,789
Michael J. Fox!
300
00:21:32,251 --> 00:21:33,252
This is working.
301
00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:42,553
I just knew at that moment, like...
it was all gonna come true.
302
00:21:42,553 --> 00:21:43,762
Mom, what are you doing?
303
00:21:43,762 --> 00:21:47,015
The situation comedy
was supposed to focus on the parents.
304
00:21:47,015 --> 00:21:48,100
No bananas, Ma.
305
00:21:50,185 --> 00:21:53,438
Instead,
America fell in love with their son.
306
00:21:53,438 --> 00:21:56,400
Play towards Michael. That'd help her.
And here on out to play towards Michael.
307
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:57,568
Okay, he'll be fine.
308
00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:00,195
His performance is so good.
309
00:22:02,072 --> 00:22:05,325
Watching him, you are struck
by his exquisite sense of timing.
310
00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:11,123
I find a sense of humor in a man
to be incredibly sexually exciting.
311
00:22:13,876 --> 00:22:15,711
A priest and a rabbi are in a room.
312
00:22:18,714 --> 00:22:21,258
When did you discover
that you liked to make people laugh?
313
00:22:21,258 --> 00:22:23,385
When I was growing up, I was a small kid.
314
00:22:23,385 --> 00:22:25,804
It was either, you know,
funny or fight, so...
315
00:22:25,804 --> 00:22:28,182
The idea is always
if you can make the big guy laugh
316
00:22:28,182 --> 00:22:31,393
before you can make him mad at you,
it's a safer way to go.
317
00:22:31,393 --> 00:22:33,645
- Cue.
- Alex, come on, admit it.
318
00:22:33,645 --> 00:22:35,022
You're really special.
319
00:22:35,898 --> 00:22:37,357
All right. I--
320
00:22:38,650 --> 00:22:40,694
I don't wanna get in an argument
about this.
321
00:22:44,156 --> 00:22:50,370
Mr. Fox sent me this lunch box.
322
00:22:51,830 --> 00:22:55,709
{\an8}Affectionately signed, "Brandon,
love and kisses, Michael J. Fox."
323
00:23:22,194 --> 00:23:25,280
When I'm with you, I can see in your eyes
324
00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:30,452
that you've got a great one-liner and that
it's hard to get that to your mouth.
325
00:23:31,245 --> 00:23:33,288
I-- It just sucks. It's really hard.
326
00:23:34,289 --> 00:23:38,919
When I'm really in need of dopamine and--
327
00:23:38,919 --> 00:23:42,881
at the end of a dose--
I'm getting close to that now.
328
00:23:44,174 --> 00:23:47,594
I get frozen and I--
Frozen physically and frozen facially.
329
00:23:47,594 --> 00:23:51,139
It's a mask. I have a parkinsonian mask.
330
00:23:51,139 --> 00:23:53,517
I-- Just, I have to really work--
331
00:23:53,517 --> 00:23:56,645
to struggle to smile, to show expression.
332
00:23:57,563 --> 00:24:00,065
It gives me a kind of blank countenance.
333
00:24:01,483 --> 00:24:03,193
If you were having pure exhilaration,
334
00:24:03,193 --> 00:24:06,321
- what would your face look like?
- Like this.
335
00:24:10,117 --> 00:24:11,910
This is what you did for a living.
336
00:24:11,910 --> 00:24:12,995
Yeah.
337
00:24:26,925 --> 00:24:28,093
And stop.
338
00:24:29,803 --> 00:24:32,848
Okay. You feel warmed up?
Is it making you light-headed?
339
00:24:33,599 --> 00:24:35,475
It's making me crazy.
340
00:24:35,475 --> 00:24:38,854
Okay, we're gonna do some pages
from your book.
341
00:24:38,854 --> 00:24:41,940
Okay.
"After my dad retired from the Army..."
342
00:24:41,940 --> 00:24:43,025
Little straighter.
343
00:24:44,735 --> 00:24:46,904
Why do you wanna tell
this story right now?
344
00:24:55,621 --> 00:24:59,208
"As a kid, many things seemed
to come easily to me.
345
00:25:00,083 --> 00:25:02,169
I'd read a big picture book
cover to cover..."
346
00:25:02,169 --> 00:25:03,754
My world is getting smaller.
347
00:25:04,254 --> 00:25:06,298
I love my mind,
and I love the place it takes me,
348
00:25:06,298 --> 00:25:09,468
and I just don't want that
to get cut short.
349
00:25:10,969 --> 00:25:13,430
"As a kid, many things seemed
to come easily to me..."
350
00:25:13,430 --> 00:25:16,767
Is there gonna be a moment--
maybe it's 20 years from now--
351
00:25:16,767 --> 00:25:19,102
where you can't tell your story?
352
00:25:20,062 --> 00:25:21,480
Well, if I'm here 20 years from now,
353
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:27,152
I'll be-- I'd either be cured
or, like, a pickle.
354
00:25:28,779 --> 00:25:32,407
"I had to eat my lunch through a s--
I had to eat my lunch through a straw...
355
00:25:36,828 --> 00:25:39,206
with several layers
of form-fitted rubber foam
356
00:25:39,206 --> 00:25:42,042
studded with yak hair affixed on my face."
That's actually really, like--
357
00:25:42,042 --> 00:25:43,877
- Who wrote that stuff?
- Some asshole.
358
00:25:48,173 --> 00:25:49,633
It was a low-budget B movie.
359
00:25:51,885 --> 00:25:53,887
But down the street were professionals.
360
00:25:57,224 --> 00:25:58,433
What were those guys doing?
361
00:25:59,685 --> 00:26:03,730
They're with the new Zemeckis
and Spielberg movie. Who's in it?
362
00:26:04,565 --> 00:26:05,482
Crispin Glover.
363
00:26:06,900 --> 00:26:07,901
Ouch.
364
00:26:08,610 --> 00:26:12,239
It stung a little bit that Crazy Crispin
was gonna do a Spielberg movie
365
00:26:13,615 --> 00:26:15,200
while I--
366
00:26:17,703 --> 00:26:20,122
Thrown away on some B-grade
high school werewolf movie.
367
00:26:27,796 --> 00:26:29,506
A day or two after our Christmas break,
368
00:26:31,341 --> 00:26:33,760
Gary David Goldberg had summoned me
into his office.
369
00:26:38,432 --> 00:26:40,142
"I have a confession to make," Gary began.
370
00:26:41,810 --> 00:26:44,855
"Just before the start of the season,
Steven sent me a copy of this script."
371
00:26:46,481 --> 00:26:48,901
Whenever Gary said "Steven,"
I knew he meant Spielberg.
372
00:26:52,863 --> 00:26:54,615
{\an8}"Steven had wanted you for the lead role.
373
00:26:54,615 --> 00:26:57,576
{\an8}They came to me asking if there was
any way I could let you outta the show.
374
00:26:59,745 --> 00:27:02,289
I didn't mention it to you then,
because it was just impossible.
375
00:27:16,386 --> 00:27:18,722
They started shooting
a couple of months ago with Eric Stoltz,
376
00:27:18,722 --> 00:27:20,974
but they don't think he's the right fit
for the role.
377
00:27:24,811 --> 00:27:27,397
It's gonna be expensive,
but they wanna reshoot all of his stuff."
378
00:27:29,149 --> 00:27:30,692
My head was spinning.
379
00:27:33,820 --> 00:27:34,905
Anything else?
380
00:27:35,489 --> 00:27:37,699
"You're not gonna miss
an hour of work on the show."
381
00:27:44,039 --> 00:27:45,374
The deal was made.
382
00:27:49,461 --> 00:27:51,880
A Teamster driver would pick me up
at 9:30 a.m.
383
00:27:53,590 --> 00:27:54,842
and take me to Paramount...
384
00:27:57,302 --> 00:27:59,680
where I would spend
the day shooting Family Ties.
385
00:28:02,182 --> 00:28:03,183
Hi, how you doing?
386
00:28:04,351 --> 00:28:06,061
{\an8}You think you can handle both jobs?
387
00:28:10,107 --> 00:28:11,358
That's for me.
388
00:28:16,363 --> 00:28:19,199
Then at 6:00, another Teamster
driver would pick me up and shuttle me
389
00:28:19,199 --> 00:28:22,244
to whatever far-flung location
we were based at that evening.
390
00:28:40,262 --> 00:28:41,388
{\an8}Action!
391
00:28:42,055 --> 00:28:43,390
Wait a minute, Doc.
392
00:28:44,725 --> 00:28:47,477
Are you telling me that you built
a time machine...
393
00:28:48,854 --> 00:28:49,897
out of a DeLorean?
394
00:28:52,691 --> 00:28:55,527
I would work on the film
until just before sunrise.
395
00:29:00,949 --> 00:29:03,535
At that point, I'd climb
into the back of a production van
396
00:29:03,535 --> 00:29:04,953
with a pillow and a blanket
397
00:29:05,704 --> 00:29:08,207
and yet another Teamster driver
would take me home again.
398
00:29:11,627 --> 00:29:13,295
I catch two or three hours of sleep...
399
00:29:17,799 --> 00:29:20,719
before Teamster driver number one
would reappear at my apartment,
400
00:29:21,303 --> 00:29:23,013
let himself in with a key I provided,
401
00:29:24,264 --> 00:29:25,265
brew a pot of coffee,
402
00:29:26,642 --> 00:29:27,518
turn on the shower.
403
00:29:30,812 --> 00:29:32,898
And then start
the whole process all over again.
404
00:29:40,155 --> 00:29:41,490
Hello!
405
00:29:41,490 --> 00:29:43,158
- Alex, you're an hour late.
- Yes?
406
00:29:43,158 --> 00:29:44,826
So, how's your new job, Alex?
407
00:29:45,536 --> 00:29:48,330
It's great. It's really great.
408
00:29:48,330 --> 00:29:50,332
That's my ride. I gotta be in early today.
409
00:29:56,630 --> 00:29:58,465
- Mark.
- Action!
410
00:30:10,060 --> 00:30:12,437
Okay, guys and dolls!
411
00:30:12,437 --> 00:30:13,981
For the next three-and-a-half months,
412
00:30:13,981 --> 00:30:17,234
the combination of Back to the Future
and Family Ties swallowed me whole.
413
00:30:19,278 --> 00:30:20,112
Take 22.
414
00:30:20,112 --> 00:30:22,781
{\an8}I experienced confusion
as to what set I was on
415
00:30:24,366 --> 00:30:26,451
and basically who I was
in the first place.
416
00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:30,163
You've worked every afternoon
and evening for the past two weeks.
417
00:30:40,757 --> 00:30:42,718
How could any of this shit be any good?
418
00:30:48,932 --> 00:30:50,726
- How you doing today?
- I'm good. How are you?
419
00:30:50,726 --> 00:30:53,145
Good. Tired.
420
00:30:56,190 --> 00:30:58,901
- What happened here?
- I smashed my head.
421
00:31:00,819 --> 00:31:05,574
I was walking really fast,
and I fell into this piece of furniture.
422
00:31:06,575 --> 00:31:10,037
I didn't hit the furniture the way
I usually do, and I hit it with my face.
423
00:31:10,537 --> 00:31:12,080
And I-- For a second,
I was lying on the ground,
424
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,208
and I said, "I think I fucked myself."
425
00:31:14,208 --> 00:31:19,129
And then I started to bruise,
and my eyes went black. My--
426
00:31:19,129 --> 00:31:22,090
This eye went really black.
And then they did X-rays,
427
00:31:22,090 --> 00:31:25,886
and they said that "You broke all
the bones in your cheek and your eye."
428
00:31:26,512 --> 00:31:30,557
And they did surgery and went in
and fixed it and put pins in it.
429
00:31:30,557 --> 00:31:32,601
I had pins here and here.
430
00:31:33,560 --> 00:31:34,978
- Here. Yeah.
- You had pins in there?
431
00:31:34,978 --> 00:31:37,773
So, yeah. So, I smashed my face up,
but I do that.
432
00:31:37,773 --> 00:31:41,735
Like, I do, like--
It's part of the deal is that I fall.
433
00:31:41,735 --> 00:31:44,321
- It's the real deal.
- Parkinson's and gravity are real.
434
00:31:44,321 --> 00:31:47,699
Yeah, gravity is real. Even if
you're only falling from my height.
435
00:31:49,910 --> 00:31:51,245
Okay, we're back to business.
436
00:31:52,246 --> 00:31:53,872
{\an8}The story of me, take two.
437
00:32:02,548 --> 00:32:03,799
Jesus, my head.
438
00:32:06,093 --> 00:32:07,261
Where the hell am I?
439
00:32:11,974 --> 00:32:12,850
Hello?
440
00:32:12,850 --> 00:32:14,393
"Mike, we just saw the movie."
441
00:32:14,393 --> 00:32:15,310
What movie?
442
00:32:15,310 --> 00:32:17,271
"Your movie. Back to the Future."
443
00:32:19,273 --> 00:32:21,149
The person calling me was my agent.
444
00:32:22,276 --> 00:32:24,528
I'm sorry, Pete. I know I suck.
445
00:32:25,737 --> 00:32:29,032
If this was the beginning
of the end, it had been a hell of a ride.
446
00:32:29,825 --> 00:32:32,786
I'm Roger Ebert,
film critic of the Chicago Sun-Times.
447
00:32:32,786 --> 00:32:35,706
And I'm Gene Siskel,
film critic of the Chicago Tribune.
448
00:32:36,206 --> 00:32:39,501
First, Back to the Future.
A time travel movie, a category I hate,
449
00:32:39,501 --> 00:32:42,546
because you're never really gonna change
things when they go back in the past,
450
00:32:42,546 --> 00:32:45,090
because that would mean that the future
that we saw at the beginning of the film
451
00:32:45,090 --> 00:32:46,633
would've had to have been a lie, right?
452
00:32:46,633 --> 00:32:49,511
But, Back to the Future managed
to beat that problem,
453
00:32:49,511 --> 00:32:51,471
and it delighted me in so doing.
454
00:32:51,471 --> 00:32:54,057
This is my favorite film
of the summer movie season.
455
00:32:55,142 --> 00:32:58,353
And Michael J. Fox gives
an absolutely winning performance.
456
00:32:59,104 --> 00:33:02,774
The ride, it turned out,
was only beginning.
457
00:33:15,787 --> 00:33:18,457
How are you doing
with the early word on this movie?
458
00:33:18,457 --> 00:33:20,125
The early word is "spectacular."
459
00:33:20,125 --> 00:33:22,711
- Kind of frightening, yes.
- Scary. Yeah, it's really scary.
460
00:33:26,882 --> 00:33:29,301
- Will you be the same guy?
- Yeah.
461
00:33:29,301 --> 00:33:31,553
- Will you handle it well?
- Yeah.
462
00:33:36,517 --> 00:33:38,727
There's a newsstand
in my old Studio City neighborhood.
463
00:33:39,728 --> 00:33:41,605
Every now and then, I'd stop by.
464
00:33:42,231 --> 00:33:44,399
No, I wasn't checking out Hustler
or Juggs,
465
00:33:45,025 --> 00:33:47,319
but surveying the versions
of myself on display.
466
00:33:47,319 --> 00:33:51,198
GQ. US. People. Rolling Stone.
467
00:33:51,698 --> 00:33:53,784
Playgirl. TigerBeat. TV Guide.
468
00:33:53,784 --> 00:33:56,161
Variety. McCall's. The Star. The Globe.
469
00:33:56,161 --> 00:33:59,039
Seventeen, 16, Mad, Cracked,
and on and on.
470
00:34:00,123 --> 00:34:02,751
Everywhere I looked,
I saw my image reflected back at me.
471
00:34:03,252 --> 00:34:05,671
None of them was a true representation
of my real self...
472
00:34:07,965 --> 00:34:09,091
Whoever that was.
473
00:34:11,677 --> 00:34:17,641
Here is as hot as you get in the history
of this business. Here is Michael J. Fox.
474
00:34:19,518 --> 00:34:21,395
Michael J. Fox!
475
00:34:22,145 --> 00:34:25,274
Michael J. Fox is with us tonight. Yeah!
476
00:34:31,864 --> 00:34:33,574
Doesn't that make you just feel fabulous?
477
00:34:33,574 --> 00:34:36,994
That's great. It cost a lot to fly
my whole family down here, but I'm glad--
478
00:34:39,705 --> 00:34:41,290
First of all, congratulations.
479
00:34:41,290 --> 00:34:44,376
Back to the Future is still number one
at the box office.
480
00:34:44,376 --> 00:34:46,837
But it's gonna get some
new competition this weekend
481
00:34:46,837 --> 00:34:50,047
{\an8}from another Michael J. Fox movie.
Is it gonna give it a run for its money?
482
00:34:50,674 --> 00:34:51,925
{\an8}I don't know.
483
00:34:54,761 --> 00:34:58,182
The popularity of Michael J. Fox
is a phenomenon.
484
00:35:04,605 --> 00:35:06,356
Well,
you're just gonna have to tell Spielberg,
485
00:35:06,356 --> 00:35:07,941
I'm not prepared to make that commitment.
486
00:35:09,318 --> 00:35:11,570
What is the secret of your success?
487
00:35:11,570 --> 00:35:12,654
This is my--
488
00:35:13,322 --> 00:35:15,699
I can't believe I was about to say
acting is my life.
489
00:35:17,075 --> 00:35:19,912
TV's Emmy Awards were handed out,
and the winners are...
490
00:35:23,248 --> 00:35:25,792
{\an8}I don't believe this! Great!
491
00:35:27,002 --> 00:35:28,504
I feel four feet tall.
492
00:35:29,838 --> 00:35:32,716
And I always see your name
with "adorable" in front of it.
493
00:35:32,716 --> 00:35:35,093
Now, does this get a little annoying
after a while?
494
00:35:35,093 --> 00:35:36,803
Yeah, well, I-- My mom writes
for these magazines.
495
00:35:36,803 --> 00:35:37,888
Is that right?
496
00:35:38,597 --> 00:35:40,432
I think Michael Fox is cute.
497
00:35:40,432 --> 00:35:43,810
I think Michael Fox is really cute.
And I'd go out with him anytime.
498
00:35:45,521 --> 00:35:49,316
Don't get me wrong.
I had a really, really good time.
499
00:35:51,026 --> 00:35:53,195
- Who are you sleeping with?
- Who are you sleeping with?
500
00:35:57,658 --> 00:36:00,327
I wasn't gonna ask you. It's Shelley.
I was gonna go right back to--
501
00:36:00,327 --> 00:36:01,578
But you did.
502
00:36:01,578 --> 00:36:02,955
Because--
503
00:36:02,955 --> 00:36:05,207
I still don't get it. I'm like--
504
00:36:05,207 --> 00:36:10,128
I mean, I still have no idea
what people see, but--
505
00:36:12,798 --> 00:36:14,675
I have a favorite beer.
I don't know if I can mention it,
506
00:36:14,675 --> 00:36:18,303
but it's a Canadian beer, and it has
a certain antlered animal on the front.
507
00:36:19,429 --> 00:36:23,559
One morning, I peered out
the window to see a beer delivery truck.
508
00:36:25,727 --> 00:36:28,564
"There's a lot more where this came
from," the delivery guy said.
509
00:36:29,982 --> 00:36:33,193
I owned a Ferrari, a Range Rover,
a Jeep Cherokee,
510
00:36:33,694 --> 00:36:35,988
a Mercedes 560 SL convertible.
511
00:36:48,709 --> 00:36:50,878
The booze was free,
and I was usually the guest of honor.
512
00:37:08,103 --> 00:37:11,064
I had a guy who pulled over my Ferrari
one time on the way to work.
513
00:37:11,064 --> 00:37:13,025
And-- And the cop leans in, he goes,
514
00:37:14,193 --> 00:37:16,320
"Mike, is that you?" And I say, "Yeah."
He said,
515
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:17,863
"This is a big, heavy car.
You gotta be careful."
516
00:37:17,863 --> 00:37:20,032
I was going 90 down Ventura Boulevard
in a Ferrari.
517
00:37:20,532 --> 00:37:22,242
And he said, "Love the show."
518
00:37:23,452 --> 00:37:25,495
I said, "That's it?"
519
00:37:27,039 --> 00:37:28,540
- So, five steps forward.
- Yeah.
520
00:37:29,208 --> 00:37:32,419
If your left foot catches,
you stop and reset when you can.
521
00:37:32,419 --> 00:37:35,005
I'm not gonna stop you,
but you stop when you can.
522
00:37:36,215 --> 00:37:38,050
- It's locking-- My knees are locking out.
- Good.
523
00:37:38,050 --> 00:37:39,927
- Yeah, I can do this without--
- So, settle into this.
524
00:37:39,927 --> 00:37:43,972
Bounce into it. Feel those heels. Turn.
Know that you're settled.
525
00:37:43,972 --> 00:37:45,015
There's that period of time
526
00:37:45,015 --> 00:37:47,976
- that I was the king of the world.
- Good. Golf stance again, don't lock out.
527
00:37:47,976 --> 00:37:51,146
And I was playing a part.
I was playing a--
528
00:37:51,146 --> 00:37:55,067
And then that was worth feeling sorry for.
529
00:37:56,902 --> 00:37:57,903
How's Tracy?
530
00:37:58,403 --> 00:38:00,656
Married to me. Still.
531
00:38:02,115 --> 00:38:05,244
With the life of a young celebrity
that gets a lot of fame really fast,
532
00:38:05,869 --> 00:38:07,120
you don't know what's real.
533
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:10,457
People taking pictures of-- in my bushes
of me in the swimming pool.
534
00:38:10,457 --> 00:38:15,629
Walking down the street with a hat on
and glasses and down and hiding.
535
00:38:16,505 --> 00:38:18,340
It's all bullshit.
It's not the real stuff.
536
00:38:18,340 --> 00:38:20,759
- Big step right.
- No.
537
00:38:20,759 --> 00:38:23,178
Big step right. Good. Golf stance again.
538
00:38:25,764 --> 00:38:28,350
Good. This is the stuff
that we need to work on.
539
00:38:28,350 --> 00:38:31,103
Slowing down your thought process, right?
540
00:38:31,103 --> 00:38:33,814
- And this is the area that you need work.
- Yeah, I do.
541
00:38:33,814 --> 00:38:35,649
- So, it's slowing down.
- Yeah.
542
00:38:35,649 --> 00:38:38,902
Right? So, stand up, hit the golf stance.
In your heels.
543
00:38:39,403 --> 00:38:40,737
- Are you there?
- Yeah.
544
00:38:40,737 --> 00:38:43,365
Do that quarter step around the stool.
545
00:38:44,366 --> 00:38:46,285
Parkinson's was just a disaster.
546
00:38:47,286 --> 00:38:50,247
But it's so real.
547
00:38:50,247 --> 00:38:52,875
When my arm would seize up
or my hand would twitch,
548
00:38:52,875 --> 00:38:54,710
that's real. It's real.
549
00:38:55,294 --> 00:38:57,880
Turn. Make sure you're settled.
550
00:39:01,091 --> 00:39:02,551
Good. Make sure you're settled.
551
00:39:02,551 --> 00:39:05,012
You can't walk
and you can't go to the bathroom.
552
00:39:05,012 --> 00:39:06,889
I mean, that's real.
553
00:39:06,889 --> 00:39:08,557
Slowly forward.
554
00:39:11,018 --> 00:39:14,062
Beautiful. Awesome. I know you can do it.
555
00:39:14,646 --> 00:39:16,148
- I can do it. That's the thing--
- Right?
556
00:39:16,148 --> 00:39:18,442
That's the thing that kills me,
is just that they're not--
557
00:39:18,442 --> 00:39:20,569
- The instant lack of control.
- Right.
558
00:39:20,569 --> 00:39:22,279
It's not like,
"I'm losing control, I'm losing control."
559
00:39:22,279 --> 00:39:23,864
- It's like, boom! I'm flying--
- So, that's what we--
560
00:39:23,864 --> 00:39:28,035
But that's what we always talk about is
that, your speed, because of who you are.
561
00:39:28,035 --> 00:39:31,288
- I wanna get it done. Yeah.
- Just slow it down, slow it down.
562
00:39:31,288 --> 00:39:35,334
Because you're athletic enough
to then have time to compensate
563
00:39:35,334 --> 00:39:38,462
- for something that goes wrong.
- Yeah, why dash when you can flush?
564
00:39:38,462 --> 00:39:41,089
Right. See? That was even better.
565
00:39:41,089 --> 00:39:44,218
Talking to you as a movie star
is different than talking to you as a TV--
566
00:39:44,218 --> 00:39:46,345
Well, I'm much more impressive now.
567
00:39:46,345 --> 00:39:48,972
Well, you are.
Has your life changed because of this?
568
00:39:48,972 --> 00:39:50,140
Not really.
569
00:39:50,724 --> 00:39:52,351
- To Joan.
- To who?
570
00:39:52,351 --> 00:39:53,810
Joan. J-O-A-N.
571
00:39:54,645 --> 00:39:56,230
Whether it's signing an autograph
572
00:39:56,230 --> 00:39:58,440
or dashing off to your next interview,
573
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:01,902
it's all part of selling Michael J. Fox
and the movie.
574
00:40:08,617 --> 00:40:10,911
His family must have
wondered how he'd turn out
575
00:40:10,911 --> 00:40:12,621
when he dropped out of high school.
576
00:40:13,121 --> 00:40:16,083
When we go down to visit him, we
try and spend our time with Michael,
577
00:40:16,083 --> 00:40:20,337
and we'll go with him
to any such events that he wants us to.
578
00:40:20,337 --> 00:40:22,297
But, no, we don't--
579
00:40:23,215 --> 00:40:25,843
We don't get tied up in the show business
end of it all, really.
580
00:40:26,426 --> 00:40:28,637
In the backyard, he's just Mike Fox,
581
00:40:28,637 --> 00:40:31,974
not the star,
Michael J. Fox people have come to know.
582
00:40:31,974 --> 00:40:35,519
He says trips home from Los Angeles
help keep his feet on the ground.
583
00:40:36,436 --> 00:40:39,273
They're not gonna let me get away
with being a jerk.
584
00:40:39,940 --> 00:40:41,191
Very quiet, please.
585
00:40:44,236 --> 00:40:47,990
I guess you could say I've always wanted
to excel, even as a small--
586
00:40:47,990 --> 00:40:51,827
No. Ready. Count me down again
will you, Andy? I gotta get--
587
00:40:51,827 --> 00:40:55,330
Five, four, three, two.
588
00:40:55,831 --> 00:40:58,083
I don't know, I guess you could say
I've always wanted to excel,
589
00:40:58,584 --> 00:40:59,793
even as a small boy.
590
00:41:00,669 --> 00:41:03,046
I mean, it wasn't the winning
that mattered to me...
591
00:41:05,132 --> 00:41:08,051
it was the pure enjoyment
of the competition.
592
00:41:09,428 --> 00:41:11,430
And I've always felt
that deep in my heart--
593
00:41:14,641 --> 00:41:17,186
Totally losing momentum.
Can we just start from the top?
594
00:41:17,853 --> 00:41:20,272
- Absolutely.
- Trying to get a kick on this.
595
00:41:21,315 --> 00:41:25,360
On the set of Family Ties,
I was welcomed back like the prodigal son.
596
00:41:26,028 --> 00:41:28,155
I was the star, after all.
597
00:41:28,155 --> 00:41:29,615
Mikey, you're gonna do this now?
598
00:41:29,615 --> 00:41:32,284
It just occurred to me,
it doesn't work over there.
599
00:41:32,284 --> 00:41:33,452
Does this bother you?
600
00:41:33,452 --> 00:41:35,621
- Does this screw you?
- No, we just gotta redo
601
00:41:35,621 --> 00:41:36,997
- more shots.
602
00:41:36,997 --> 00:41:38,498
- How many?
- Thirty-eight.
603
00:41:38,498 --> 00:41:41,168
And while I would have never dreamed
of lording it over anyone,
604
00:41:41,168 --> 00:41:43,879
the fact is, I could get away
with the most outrageous behavior.
605
00:41:43,879 --> 00:41:47,925
And so, I'm just trying to understand,
and say if that's-- If, you know--
606
00:41:47,925 --> 00:41:51,178
If you have specific things
that are wrong,
607
00:41:51,178 --> 00:41:53,347
let me know because, at this point,
I'm confused.
608
00:41:54,681 --> 00:41:56,308
I was the "boy prince of Hollywood."
609
00:41:56,808 --> 00:42:00,145
I was big. I was bigger than bubble gum.
610
00:42:00,145 --> 00:42:02,272
You think it's made out of brick and rock,
but it's not.
611
00:42:02,272 --> 00:42:04,149
It's made out of paper and feathers.
612
00:42:05,234 --> 00:42:06,360
It's an illusion.
613
00:42:15,494 --> 00:42:16,370
Yes?
614
00:42:19,414 --> 00:42:22,543
Alex P. Keaton,
Sophomore Hospitality Committee.
615
00:42:23,126 --> 00:42:24,127
Congratulations.
616
00:42:25,420 --> 00:42:29,675
No. Excuse me. Do you mind
if I wait around here for a while?
617
00:42:30,300 --> 00:42:31,593
Yeah, I suppose.
618
00:42:31,593 --> 00:42:34,096
That's when Tracy Pollan
came into my world.
619
00:42:37,558 --> 00:42:38,934
Having trained in the New York theater,
620
00:42:38,934 --> 00:42:41,311
Tracy brought a grounded quality
to the work.
621
00:42:44,064 --> 00:42:46,441
Put that down.
Can't you see I'm painting that?
622
00:42:48,402 --> 00:42:51,613
It was in stark contrast
to my "just go for the laugh" approach.
623
00:42:51,613 --> 00:42:53,615
What do you call it? "Find the Apple"?
624
00:42:57,077 --> 00:42:59,371
I'd explain the concept
of abstract art to you,
625
00:42:59,371 --> 00:43:01,248
but I have a feeling
I'd be wasting my time.
626
00:43:02,666 --> 00:43:04,960
You were not the typical casting choice.
627
00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:08,213
You were not perky,
you were not a vacuous blonde,
628
00:43:08,213 --> 00:43:10,716
- you weren't a wiseacre kind of--
- Right.
629
00:43:10,716 --> 00:43:12,801
- kind of person. You agree?
- I agree.
630
00:43:12,801 --> 00:43:15,637
I was actually very surprised
to be cast on the show.
631
00:43:15,637 --> 00:43:19,141
I didn't-- I don't know if I would
have cast me on the show.
632
00:43:19,141 --> 00:43:22,186
- Why did they? What was it about you--
- Well, I think that--
633
00:43:22,186 --> 00:43:27,900
that they wanted somebody who was
very different from the character of Alex.
634
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:31,361
And I think that they,
635
00:43:31,945 --> 00:43:34,156
I don't know, just saw something
different in me.
636
00:43:36,491 --> 00:43:38,493
One day we broke for lunch.
637
00:43:39,494 --> 00:43:41,622
{\an8}Women, life, death, art.
638
00:43:45,709 --> 00:43:49,296
Places, please. Places for E.
Five, four, three...
639
00:43:49,296 --> 00:43:51,757
After lunch,
we picked up where we left off.
640
00:43:51,757 --> 00:43:53,884
Here we go. Ready and action.
641
00:43:54,968 --> 00:43:56,929
I got you something.
642
00:43:58,222 --> 00:43:59,139
You did?
643
00:43:59,765 --> 00:44:01,433
They were having a sale on Picassos.
644
00:44:04,394 --> 00:44:06,980
So, I got you one.
645
00:44:08,899 --> 00:44:11,693
This was very sweet of you.
646
00:44:14,488 --> 00:44:17,199
The moment she said her first line,
I detected a hint of garlic
647
00:44:17,199 --> 00:44:20,077
and sensed an opportunity
to have a little fun at her expense.
648
00:44:20,953 --> 00:44:23,080
"Whoa, a little scampi for lunch, babe?"
649
00:44:24,706 --> 00:44:26,166
At first, she said nothing.
650
00:44:26,166 --> 00:44:27,876
Her expression didn't even change.
651
00:44:29,044 --> 00:44:31,255
But looking me dead in the eye,
she said slowly,
652
00:44:31,755 --> 00:44:36,802
"That was mean and rude, and you're
a complete and total fucking asshole."
653
00:44:46,019 --> 00:44:48,397
- Hi, Ellen. Hey, are you ready to go?
- Hi. Yeah, let's go.
654
00:44:48,397 --> 00:44:49,481
Okay.
655
00:44:50,983 --> 00:44:51,900
Yeah.
656
00:44:55,821 --> 00:44:57,447
Nobody talked to me that way.
657
00:44:59,324 --> 00:45:02,911
This woman was completely unintimidated
by whoever I thought I was.
658
00:45:03,662 --> 00:45:06,582
A pig is a pig no matter how many
hit movies he's just had.
659
00:45:08,834 --> 00:45:11,670
So, was she right? Were you a dick?
660
00:45:13,714 --> 00:45:15,424
I was a bit of a dick.
661
00:45:18,719 --> 00:45:20,137
She was joking, but I didn't get it,
662
00:45:20,137 --> 00:45:22,347
because no one would ever joke
with me like that.
663
00:45:22,347 --> 00:45:24,141
I was not the butt of any jokes.
664
00:45:27,311 --> 00:45:29,897
And she just went,
"I'm gonna poke through that and get--
665
00:45:29,897 --> 00:45:33,358
You're
a scared little kid under this shit,
666
00:45:33,358 --> 00:45:35,611
and then I'll just call you out."
667
00:45:39,323 --> 00:45:41,617
In that moment, I fell in love with her.
668
00:45:46,788 --> 00:45:47,623
All right.
669
00:45:47,623 --> 00:45:52,920
Let me just... Right, just--
670
00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:54,129
Right.
671
00:45:55,297 --> 00:45:57,424
All right, okay, not bad.
672
00:45:57,424 --> 00:45:58,967
Just, okay.
673
00:46:01,094 --> 00:46:03,347
All right, okay, yep. All right. Give me--
674
00:46:03,972 --> 00:46:04,973
Okay.
675
00:46:06,099 --> 00:46:07,726
There we go. Gently.
676
00:46:12,189 --> 00:46:13,190
Piece of cake.
677
00:46:17,152 --> 00:46:18,987
Alex, I've never met anybody like you.
678
00:46:19,821 --> 00:46:22,199
I mean, it's like you have a way of seeing
right through me.
679
00:46:24,159 --> 00:46:26,245
I'm seeing a part of me that I don't--
680
00:46:26,245 --> 00:46:28,705
I don't even like to admit exists,
and that scares me.
681
00:46:35,170 --> 00:46:38,674
Then Tracy got a part in a film
I was about to shoot in Manhattan.
682
00:46:40,133 --> 00:46:41,635
We'd hang out on the set together.
683
00:46:41,635 --> 00:46:43,178
So, tell me about your job.
684
00:46:43,178 --> 00:46:44,847
I guess I'm supposed to be
pretty impressed, huh?
685
00:46:44,847 --> 00:46:46,056
Don't be.
686
00:46:46,056 --> 00:46:49,768
She had a front-row seat
to view the whirlwind my life had become.
687
00:46:49,768 --> 00:46:51,979
Tracy appreciated the toll it was taking.
688
00:46:53,146 --> 00:46:54,731
The mistake would be to lose myself
689
00:46:54,731 --> 00:46:56,859
in the middle of the party
that was now my life.
690
00:46:59,820 --> 00:47:02,573
- You have my number, right?
- Right.
691
00:47:02,573 --> 00:47:03,699
You should call me.
692
00:47:04,783 --> 00:47:05,784
Yeah, I'd like to.
693
00:47:21,842 --> 00:47:24,720
- I love you.
- I love you too.
694
00:47:26,388 --> 00:47:27,389
Well...
695
00:47:28,849 --> 00:47:30,017
we love each other.
696
00:47:30,517 --> 00:47:32,186
We said it, we know it.
697
00:47:33,770 --> 00:47:36,815
I mean, that's all that's important.
It doesn't matter what happens now.
698
00:47:39,443 --> 00:47:40,485
What happens now?
699
00:47:51,663 --> 00:47:54,124
- Look at this.
- Hold it up.
700
00:47:55,834 --> 00:48:01,131
It's funny you say-- It said,
signed to Norm or Fred or something.
701
00:48:01,798 --> 00:48:06,678
Yeah, I got it at the Strand bookstore
for a dollar.
702
00:48:07,679 --> 00:48:11,517
Once we got together, I just--
I was the most in love person. I still am.
703
00:48:12,100 --> 00:48:15,312
You need to answer. There's, like,
so many texts that you need to answer.
704
00:48:15,312 --> 00:48:17,439
- Yeah.
- You need to respond to that.
705
00:48:19,358 --> 00:48:21,276
And you need to resp-- Wait.
706
00:48:21,276 --> 00:48:22,486
It gets better.
707
00:48:22,486 --> 00:48:25,155
This is four texts from Aquinnah
that you haven't responded to.
708
00:48:25,155 --> 00:48:26,365
I know, I tried to do it last night.
709
00:48:26,365 --> 00:48:28,492
- So just respond to that...
- Yeah.
710
00:48:28,492 --> 00:48:29,701
"Haven't seen you in a few days,
711
00:48:29,701 --> 00:48:31,745
- love you and miss you."
- And I can't wait to see you.
712
00:48:31,745 --> 00:48:33,121
- "Can't wait to see you."
- Let me see.
713
00:48:33,121 --> 00:48:35,999
Can't wait to see you.
The beach awaits you.
714
00:48:37,292 --> 00:48:38,293
Okay.
715
00:48:40,629 --> 00:48:43,048
- "The beach awaits you"? No.
- Or something to that effect.
716
00:48:43,048 --> 00:48:44,925
Waiting for you on the beach.
717
00:48:44,925 --> 00:48:46,510
I can't wait to get on the beach with--
718
00:48:46,510 --> 00:48:48,387
can't wait to hang out
on the beach with you.
719
00:48:48,387 --> 00:48:50,389
Can't wait to hang out at the beach
with you.
720
00:48:52,432 --> 00:48:54,351
Describe this human being to me.
721
00:49:04,403 --> 00:49:05,612
Clarity.
722
00:49:05,612 --> 00:49:09,116
- "Can't wait to see you. Love you."
- Love you. That's it.
723
00:49:13,537 --> 00:49:17,374
I get a sense that she's no bullshit.
724
00:49:17,875 --> 00:49:20,377
No. No bullshit.
725
00:49:20,377 --> 00:49:23,881
Who she is is just so locked in
'cause it's so honest.
726
00:49:23,881 --> 00:49:26,633
I could be the king of England
and she would be her.
727
00:49:27,259 --> 00:49:30,596
I could be Elvis and she would be her.
728
00:49:30,596 --> 00:49:32,848
You know what, you could put
a little bit of this in there.
729
00:49:33,432 --> 00:49:36,310
- Okay, mush it now. I'll hold the bowl.
- It's really hard.
730
00:49:36,310 --> 00:49:38,562
- It's kind of hurting my hand.
- I can't even hold the bowl.
731
00:49:40,772 --> 00:49:44,026
When I'm with my family,
there's no sentimental line with them.
732
00:49:44,026 --> 00:49:45,402
There's no "Poor baby.
733
00:49:46,653 --> 00:49:48,989
I feel your pain, I feel so bad for you.
734
00:49:48,989 --> 00:49:50,782
You're a saint among men, and"--
735
00:49:50,782 --> 00:49:52,743
That would be the worst thing
they could do to me.
736
00:49:52,743 --> 00:49:54,119
- Wait. Can I just tell you--
- What?
737
00:49:54,119 --> 00:49:55,412
I was just having a conversation.
738
00:49:55,412 --> 00:49:56,788
If you look through his phone,
739
00:49:56,788 --> 00:50:00,250
it's just, like, a million texts
that are never answered.
740
00:50:00,250 --> 00:50:03,795
Yeah, it's just me,
like, a bunch of times, like--
741
00:50:03,795 --> 00:50:05,464
- Asking questions?
- Every two weeks, I-- No.
742
00:50:05,464 --> 00:50:08,717
I'm just like, "Are you okay?
Like, sending so much love. Heart, heart."
743
00:50:08,717 --> 00:50:10,886
- And then no response. And then--
- And no response.
744
00:50:10,886 --> 00:50:12,429
But then about a week after, like,
745
00:50:12,429 --> 00:50:14,806
one of my, like,
"Love you so much, hope you're okay."
746
00:50:14,806 --> 00:50:17,351
It's this, like, really nice,
but just so random,
747
00:50:17,351 --> 00:50:20,604
he said, "I hope you are happy
with all your decisions."
748
00:50:22,731 --> 00:50:24,233
Okay, thanks.
749
00:50:25,150 --> 00:50:26,944
- It's good. Natural.
- You're a natural, Pops.
750
00:50:26,944 --> 00:50:28,654
- What are you doing?
- You should think about
751
00:50:28,654 --> 00:50:29,863
doing this for a job.
752
00:50:29,863 --> 00:50:32,324
You know, you just turned into
a fortune cookie.
753
00:50:35,536 --> 00:50:36,954
When I answer, I go to a simple,
754
00:50:36,954 --> 00:50:38,747
"Hey, I love you too. Thinking about you.
How's it going?"
755
00:50:38,747 --> 00:50:40,666
- But you don't say it.
- I know, because it comes out--
756
00:50:40,666 --> 00:50:42,334
- it comes out...
- You know, also--
757
00:50:44,253 --> 00:50:46,004
And then I go in and I'm, like--
So then I think,
758
00:50:46,004 --> 00:50:48,257
"Well this isn't working out.
I'll do the-- push the buttons."
759
00:50:48,257 --> 00:50:50,259
- Then I get some website in China.
- Yeah.
760
00:50:59,768 --> 00:51:01,311
Pregnant one month after the wedding,
761
00:51:01,311 --> 00:51:02,813
Tracy found herself with a husband...
762
00:51:02,813 --> 00:51:03,814
Action!
763
00:51:04,565 --> 00:51:06,191
Michael!
764
00:51:06,191 --> 00:51:08,068
...who, when he wasn't away on a job,
765
00:51:09,027 --> 00:51:11,572
was little more than
a narcoleptic Lamaze partner.
766
00:51:15,826 --> 00:51:16,952
Michael.
767
00:51:23,208 --> 00:51:25,210
This kid loves these horses.
768
00:51:30,382 --> 00:51:31,800
A vicious ride.
769
00:51:43,103 --> 00:51:46,106
How's the family? Give me
the whole report of how being a dad is.
770
00:51:46,106 --> 00:51:47,232
Being a dad is great.
771
00:51:47,232 --> 00:51:50,110
I'm sure that, you know, all the dads
out there know it's real cool.
772
00:51:50,110 --> 00:51:52,446
He's-- My son is-- Our son.
773
00:51:53,405 --> 00:51:55,157
Boy, I didn't do half the work.
774
00:51:55,157 --> 00:51:57,534
How are you doing
balancing the family and the work?
775
00:51:57,534 --> 00:51:58,744
You're still pretty much a workaholic.
776
00:51:59,995 --> 00:52:01,830
Michael! Michael! Michael!
777
00:52:03,457 --> 00:52:05,959
The rush that was my life then,
meant my bride...
778
00:52:08,045 --> 00:52:10,506
was wondering what in the hell
she'd gotten herself into.
779
00:52:11,590 --> 00:52:13,592
Tracy, did you miss Michael the last year?
780
00:52:13,592 --> 00:52:15,886
Yeah. It's good to have him home again.
781
00:52:15,886 --> 00:52:19,515
- She's got a tiny version of me at home.
- Yeah, I got a miniature version of him...
782
00:52:20,557 --> 00:52:21,767
Inside of a year,
783
00:52:21,767 --> 00:52:25,854
an exquisitely talented, 20-something
actress had become a single mother...
784
00:52:25,854 --> 00:52:28,690
It's about being content with who you are
and being content with your family
785
00:52:28,690 --> 00:52:31,610
and, you know, loving yourself
and loving the people around you.
786
00:52:34,071 --> 00:52:35,405
...while I was still free to work.
787
00:52:41,787 --> 00:52:44,873
Here I was, shooting my fifth film
in less than three years.
788
00:52:46,917 --> 00:52:48,752
But it was a sheltered, narrow existence.
789
00:52:48,752 --> 00:52:50,504
He's a chickenshit, man.
790
00:52:51,755 --> 00:52:53,757
Fueled by fear and isolation.
791
00:52:56,969 --> 00:53:00,389
Actors don't become actors because
they're brimming with self-confidence.
792
00:53:00,389 --> 00:53:02,057
Hey, good morning, Mr. Eastwood.
793
00:53:02,641 --> 00:53:05,727
An actor's burning ambition
is to spend as much time as possible
794
00:53:05,727 --> 00:53:07,396
pretending to be somebody else.
795
00:53:08,021 --> 00:53:10,899
I think you ain't nothing
but a gutless yellow turd!
796
00:53:12,359 --> 00:53:15,904
For those of us lucky or unstable
enough to become professional performers...
797
00:53:15,904 --> 00:53:17,531
Who the hell do you think you are?
798
00:53:17,531 --> 00:53:20,576
...the uncertainty about who we really are
only increases.
799
00:53:21,076 --> 00:53:22,494
And you.
800
00:53:22,494 --> 00:53:23,620
Gnawing at you always...
801
00:53:23,620 --> 00:53:25,414
You I don't know about.
802
00:53:25,414 --> 00:53:28,959
...is the belief that you're a fake.
A phony.
803
00:53:30,252 --> 00:53:31,837
I hate your movies.
804
00:53:35,257 --> 00:53:37,384
What is a typical,
if there is such a thing,
805
00:53:37,384 --> 00:53:40,262
day in the life of
Michael and Tracy and Sam?
806
00:53:40,262 --> 00:53:42,973
I get up and go to work,
I come home and everybody is asleep.
807
00:53:43,932 --> 00:53:44,975
That's about it.
808
00:53:53,358 --> 00:53:55,986
Dad hadn't been feeling well
for the last month or so.
809
00:54:08,081 --> 00:54:09,958
"My father had been rushed
to the hospital.
810
00:54:11,293 --> 00:54:14,004
Dad hadn't been feeling well
for the last month or so.
811
00:54:14,505 --> 00:54:17,966
His heart gave out first,
then his kidneys began to fail.
812
00:54:19,885 --> 00:54:25,098
I couldn't know that day in 1990
that I was stepping across a threshold."
813
00:54:26,558 --> 00:54:27,559
Sorry.
814
00:54:33,440 --> 00:54:36,485
Stuff like that just hits you like a--
You're going through this stuff and you--
815
00:54:36,485 --> 00:54:39,154
Something like that pops out
and you're so, like--
816
00:54:40,739 --> 00:54:44,826
like that's three sentences
and, like, 10,000 pounds of stuff.
817
00:54:50,290 --> 00:54:51,542
What was the threshold?
818
00:54:53,043 --> 00:54:55,963
Threshold was adulthood. Like, real shit.
819
00:55:01,593 --> 00:55:02,719
Life.
820
00:55:10,435 --> 00:55:13,397
For Christ's sake, Mike.
It's just your freaking finger.
821
00:55:14,064 --> 00:55:15,232
But that was the problem.
822
00:55:15,858 --> 00:55:18,652
It wasn't mine. It was somebody else's.
823
00:55:46,138 --> 00:55:48,849
The most paranoid fantasy I could
think of would not have prepared me
824
00:55:48,849 --> 00:55:52,019
for the two words the neurologist
bludgeoned me with that day.
825
00:55:55,147 --> 00:55:56,440
Parkinson's disease.
826
00:56:01,570 --> 00:56:04,072
And I said,
"You know who you're talking to, right?
827
00:56:04,573 --> 00:56:09,745
You know, I'm, like, not someone
who is supposed to get this."
828
00:56:12,956 --> 00:56:14,583
He handed me a pamphlet.
829
00:56:16,168 --> 00:56:19,755
Which one had the incurable brain disease
was not clear, they both looked happy.
830
00:56:22,674 --> 00:56:26,762
He said some more words like,
"progressive," "degenerative,"
831
00:56:28,055 --> 00:56:29,056
"incurable."
832
00:56:30,766 --> 00:56:34,603
He said, "You lose this game.
You don't win this."
833
00:56:45,489 --> 00:56:48,492
I remember standing on the street looking
for an answer.
834
00:56:50,494 --> 00:56:52,704
It's just-- I just-- My world blew up.
835
00:56:56,333 --> 00:56:57,876
I should have seen it coming,
836
00:56:58,961 --> 00:57:01,630
the cosmic price I had to pay
for all my success.
837
00:57:05,217 --> 00:57:06,844
I told Tracy the news.
838
00:57:11,682 --> 00:57:14,101
"In sickness and in health,"
I remember her whispering.
839
00:57:23,777 --> 00:57:25,904
Now totally relax with the head.
840
00:57:27,197 --> 00:57:30,284
Okay, that's good. Yeah.
Now, look at my finger. Open up.
841
00:57:30,284 --> 00:57:31,368
Look over here.
842
00:57:32,411 --> 00:57:34,872
Yeah. Up. That's good.
843
00:57:37,416 --> 00:57:38,417
Go like this.
844
00:57:39,376 --> 00:57:40,752
You're good. Excellent.
845
00:57:40,752 --> 00:57:43,088
- Actually, that's very strong. Hold on.
- I'm a strong man.
846
00:57:43,088 --> 00:57:45,215
- You're a strong man.
- Very strong.
847
00:57:45,215 --> 00:57:47,426
So, you were getting dressed,
you were in a hurry,
848
00:57:47,426 --> 00:57:49,386
you went smack into the headboard?
849
00:57:49,386 --> 00:57:51,096
- Headboard. Yeah.
- Okay.
850
00:57:51,096 --> 00:57:54,433
So, when did you dislocate the shoulder?
851
00:57:54,433 --> 00:57:56,059
- Around the same time?
- Around the same time.
852
00:57:56,059 --> 00:57:59,104
It all happened in the--
It was like a festival of self-abuse.
853
00:57:59,104 --> 00:58:01,273
- You can do a tour of my house.
- Okay.
854
00:58:01,273 --> 00:58:03,483
- It's almost all in the same spot.
- What's it matter?
855
00:58:03,483 --> 00:58:05,235
Okay, so squeeze my hand.
856
00:58:05,235 --> 00:58:06,862
- How does that feel?
- Feels all right.
857
00:58:06,862 --> 00:58:07,988
I think we're gonna be fine.
858
00:58:07,988 --> 00:58:09,364
- You're gonna be fine?
- Yeah.
859
00:58:09,364 --> 00:58:11,033
They're not gonna have to
amputate anything or--
860
00:58:11,033 --> 00:58:12,492
- No. My head.
- Okay. Good.
861
00:58:12,492 --> 00:58:13,994
- Your head?
- My head, yeah.
862
00:58:15,454 --> 00:58:16,371
Okay.
863
00:58:16,371 --> 00:58:18,248
Tracy's the smartest person I know.
864
00:58:18,749 --> 00:58:20,834
She's learned to deal with a lot of stuff.
865
00:58:20,834 --> 00:58:23,837
How frustrating it must be
to have to bear the burden
866
00:58:23,837 --> 00:58:25,589
of something that isn't her burden.
867
00:58:26,089 --> 00:58:28,175
It's my burden, but she shares it with me.
868
00:58:28,175 --> 00:58:30,886
She not only shares it with me,
she takes on more than I take on.
869
00:58:30,886 --> 00:58:34,097
So, you take the first round
while you're still in bed?
870
00:58:34,097 --> 00:58:35,891
- No, out of bed.
- Out of bed. Okay.
871
00:58:36,642 --> 00:58:39,394
- Sometimes Michael likes to hold that off...
- Yeah.
872
00:58:39,394 --> 00:58:41,647
...if he's got something
that he needs to do.
873
00:58:42,439 --> 00:58:46,068
He thinks if he waits,
it's gonna kick in stronger and better.
874
00:58:46,568 --> 00:58:48,362
Everything I go through,
she's gone through.
875
00:58:48,362 --> 00:58:51,073
And then I have to try to figure out
how to make it work.
876
00:58:51,573 --> 00:58:54,076
Like, I just have to feel it
and then-- and live it.
877
00:58:55,869 --> 00:58:57,704
I can walk a little bit though. Like that.
878
00:58:58,622 --> 00:59:00,165
She has to make it work.
879
00:59:00,666 --> 00:59:02,334
- I'm walking, honey.
- You are.
880
00:59:04,670 --> 00:59:06,463
- Good job.
- I know.
881
00:59:06,463 --> 00:59:08,507
- Is that this way?
- Yeah.
882
00:59:13,053 --> 00:59:14,513
Slow down a little. Okay.
883
00:59:25,858 --> 00:59:27,526
I clung to fantasies of escape.
884
00:59:31,446 --> 00:59:33,824
That somehow my diagnosis
would turn out to be a mistake.
885
00:59:38,412 --> 00:59:40,205
I was in my late 20s.
886
00:59:40,998 --> 00:59:44,209
How could I possibly
have this old person's disease?
887
00:59:45,627 --> 00:59:48,130
Symptoms include muscular rigidity,
888
00:59:48,130 --> 00:59:50,549
slowness and poverty of
movements and tremor,
889
00:59:52,509 --> 00:59:55,512
diminished blinking, and reduced
spontaneity of facial expression.
890
00:59:58,682 --> 01:00:02,561
I thought my diminished blinking and
reduced spontaneity of facial expression
891
01:00:02,561 --> 01:00:04,771
marked a growing comfort
in front of the camera.
892
01:00:04,771 --> 01:00:06,398
Less mugging, hamming it up.
893
01:00:07,524 --> 01:00:10,485
No, you weren't getting better.
Just sicker.
894
01:00:11,904 --> 01:00:15,199
What advice would you give to someone
that has the disease?
895
01:00:15,199 --> 01:00:18,702
The main thing is, is to be truthful,
first, with yourself.
896
01:00:18,702 --> 01:00:22,831
Here's Johnny.
897
01:00:37,721 --> 01:00:42,184
With no obvious cue, my left hand
would begin shaking uncontrollably.
898
01:00:44,269 --> 01:00:46,230
Now, anyway, let's move.
We've got a great show tonight.
899
01:00:46,230 --> 01:00:47,856
Mr. Michael J. Fox is with us.
900
01:00:49,650 --> 01:00:52,361
I had my internist prescribe PD meds.
901
01:00:56,031 --> 01:00:59,034
Sinemet is taken up by the brain
and changed into dopamine,
902
01:00:59,785 --> 01:01:02,746
the neurotransmitter that a Parkinson's
patient can no longer produce
903
01:01:02,746 --> 01:01:03,997
in sufficient quantities.
904
01:01:05,415 --> 01:01:07,209
Anyway,
I'm glad Michael Fox is here tonight.
905
01:01:07,209 --> 01:01:09,211
He's a most-talented young man, and--
906
01:01:11,964 --> 01:01:13,423
Would you welcome Michael J. Fox?
907
01:01:18,762 --> 01:01:20,639
Therapeutic value, even comfort,
908
01:01:20,639 --> 01:01:22,891
none of these was the reason
I took these pills.
909
01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:24,893
There was only one reason.
910
01:01:27,020 --> 01:01:27,855
Yeah.
911
01:01:27,855 --> 01:01:28,772
To hide.
912
01:01:33,110 --> 01:01:35,112
I carried the pills around
loose and broken
913
01:01:35,112 --> 01:01:37,322
in the pockets of my shirts and trousers.
914
01:01:40,242 --> 01:01:41,493
Like Halloween Smarties.
915
01:01:47,666 --> 01:01:51,003
Parkinsonian tremor occurs
when the affected limb is at rest.
916
01:01:52,296 --> 01:01:55,883
I was able to mask the trembling
by twiddling an object in my left hand.
917
01:01:58,760 --> 01:02:01,096
Day after day, for hours on end.
918
01:02:02,264 --> 01:02:03,932
Uh-huh. Uh-huh...
919
01:02:07,186 --> 01:02:08,520
Sir, I can't hear you.
920
01:02:08,520 --> 01:02:11,064
There's some kind of a ruckus outside.
921
01:02:11,857 --> 01:02:13,150
Can I call you back?
922
01:02:13,859 --> 01:02:17,112
I never gave a second's thought
to sharing my diagnosis with anyone.
923
01:02:17,988 --> 01:02:18,864
I had work to do.
924
01:02:20,324 --> 01:02:24,077
And I intended to pretend as if
none of this was actually happening to me.
925
01:02:25,621 --> 01:02:27,748
You can't do this to people.
926
01:02:27,748 --> 01:02:31,835
You can't lie and fake and manipulate.
I won't accept that.
927
01:02:34,588 --> 01:02:39,218
Just this once,
I'm gonna let you off with a warning.
928
01:02:42,471 --> 01:02:46,099
I like guys that are a little too smart
for their own good.
929
01:02:46,099 --> 01:02:49,144
You know, master manipulators who think
they're manipulating everybody else,
930
01:02:50,812 --> 01:02:52,898
but are, in a way,
kind of manipulating themselves
931
01:02:52,898 --> 01:02:54,733
into a situation they can't control.
932
01:02:57,027 --> 01:02:59,738
I became a virtuoso
at manipulating drug intake...
933
01:03:05,410 --> 01:03:08,080
so that I'd peak
at exactly the right time and place.
934
01:03:16,088 --> 01:03:17,089
I need more pills.
935
01:03:19,925 --> 01:03:20,926
You wanna take a break?
936
01:03:21,677 --> 01:03:26,181
Well, I mean, I should've stopped
ten minutes ago 'cause I need more pills.
937
01:03:30,644 --> 01:03:32,521
- It'll just take two minutes.
- Yeah.
938
01:03:36,400 --> 01:03:38,735
You take the pill, then you're waiting.
And what does it feel like?
939
01:03:41,280 --> 01:03:43,907
Like waiting-- I always say
waiting for a bus. Waiting for the bus.
940
01:03:43,907 --> 01:03:46,034
People will say, "What are you doing?"
I say, "I'm waiting for the bus."
941
01:03:46,034 --> 01:03:47,286
And they know what I mean.
942
01:03:51,999 --> 01:03:54,084
Yeah, it's kicking in now. It's nice.
943
01:03:54,084 --> 01:03:56,170
Today's a quick-- Quick kick-in today.
944
01:03:56,170 --> 01:04:00,883
I'm a little-- still a little mumble
mouth, but I feel good.
945
01:04:00,883 --> 01:04:02,593
I feel still.
946
01:04:02,593 --> 01:04:04,636
So, you're still waiting
for the bus, or you're on the bus?
947
01:04:04,636 --> 01:04:07,097
No, I'm on the bus.
I'm putting in-- money in the thing.
948
01:04:11,059 --> 01:04:14,354
It's a great release. It's just, like,
you pour into the form that is you.
949
01:04:15,230 --> 01:04:18,400
That you-- It gets filled with you again.
950
01:04:20,235 --> 01:04:21,445
Rolling, rolling.
951
01:04:22,029 --> 01:04:23,030
Speed.
952
01:04:25,324 --> 01:04:26,366
My body ached.
953
01:04:27,201 --> 01:04:28,202
Playback.
954
01:04:29,494 --> 01:04:32,331
I had been contorting it
into intensely uncomfortable positions
955
01:04:32,331 --> 01:04:34,208
in order to mask the tremors.
956
01:04:34,208 --> 01:04:35,417
Okay, marker.
957
01:04:42,382 --> 01:04:43,842
Okay, play again.
958
01:04:45,719 --> 01:04:48,597
I see "R-E-C."
959
01:04:49,181 --> 01:04:51,850
Yeah, that's "record."
960
01:04:51,850 --> 01:04:53,602
My appetite was nonexistent.
961
01:04:54,520 --> 01:04:57,231
And I used that excuse
to avoid joining my family for dinner.
962
01:05:00,067 --> 01:05:03,695
I thought that by thinking about
Parkinson's, I was hastening its arrival.
963
01:05:13,205 --> 01:05:14,748
Instead, I drank to disassociate.
964
01:05:17,626 --> 01:05:18,961
To escape my situation.
965
01:05:23,715 --> 01:05:25,342
Parkinson's, it was hide-the-bottle time.
966
01:05:25,342 --> 01:05:27,177
It was--
Like, I had bottles stashed in the garage,
967
01:05:27,177 --> 01:05:29,555
and I'd open two bottles of wine,
968
01:05:29,555 --> 01:05:32,558
and Tracy would think we just drank one,
she didn't know I drank the other one.
969
01:05:35,561 --> 01:05:39,231
And I started to have a margarita
before the last take.
970
01:05:39,231 --> 01:05:40,524
Jack Daniel's, rocks, please.
971
01:05:42,192 --> 01:05:44,611
{\an8}For Love or Money, with Michael J. Fox,
starts out great
972
01:05:44,611 --> 01:05:46,989
{\an8}and then gets all soft.
Regretfully though, thumbs-down.
973
01:05:46,989 --> 01:05:49,867
With me, it isn't even a close call.
It's definitely thumbs-down.
974
01:05:50,993 --> 01:05:52,244
And then things started to slip.
975
01:05:55,998 --> 01:05:58,292
Life with Mikey
doesn't tell much of a story.
976
01:05:58,292 --> 01:06:01,420
I sat there wondering why Michael J. Fox
seemed to be without a clue
977
01:06:01,420 --> 01:06:03,130
in a lot of his big scenes.
978
01:06:05,424 --> 01:06:07,759
And here's another movie
that loses its way.
979
01:06:07,759 --> 01:06:08,969
Greedy.
980
01:06:08,969 --> 01:06:10,762
Michael J. Fox fell for that old trap.
981
01:06:11,930 --> 01:06:14,183
{\an8}They wanna play characters
who are really likable.
982
01:06:14,183 --> 01:06:15,767
{\an8}- Why not play nasty?
- I agree. Yeah.
983
01:06:15,767 --> 01:06:19,062
Make 'em hateful. People love you
when you play hateful characters.
984
01:06:19,563 --> 01:06:20,480
Nicky!
985
01:06:20,480 --> 01:06:22,774
It's crap, Angie. It's crap.
986
01:06:22,774 --> 01:06:24,568
It's another big-budget, big-box-office,
987
01:06:24,568 --> 01:06:27,529
in-one-end, out-the-other,
easy-to-flush piece of crap.
988
01:06:27,529 --> 01:06:29,656
I was sullen and angry.
989
01:06:29,656 --> 01:06:32,910
There was one thing in a store.
This guy stepped in front of me.
990
01:06:32,910 --> 01:06:35,204
And I said,
"Excuse me. What am I, fucking invisible?"
991
01:06:35,204 --> 01:06:36,872
And he goes, "Yeah, you're invisible."
992
01:06:36,872 --> 01:06:39,458
And I grabbed his shirt,
and I said, "Fuck you, man.
993
01:06:39,458 --> 01:06:41,293
I'll take you outside
and take your head off."
994
01:06:41,793 --> 01:06:45,380
And I said, "I'd love nothing more,
today, than to take your head off."
995
01:06:45,380 --> 01:06:47,883
And he just backed off, and they all
went white and they walked out.
996
01:06:47,883 --> 01:06:49,384
I said, "I can be that guy."
997
01:06:52,012 --> 01:06:54,389
I didn't know what was happening.
I didn't know what was coming.
998
01:06:56,850 --> 01:06:59,269
So, what if I could just
have four glasses of wine
999
01:06:59,269 --> 01:07:01,772
and maybe a shot?
1000
01:07:02,523 --> 01:07:05,317
- So, were you an alcoholic?
- Yeah, I was definitely an alcoholic.
1001
01:07:09,279 --> 01:07:12,074
But I've gone 30 years
without having a drink.
1002
01:07:14,368 --> 01:07:16,662
What is the core of that behavior?
1003
01:07:17,287 --> 01:07:18,497
The core of that behavior is fear.
1004
01:07:22,960 --> 01:07:25,546
There was an urgency, an edge,
to that night's partying.
1005
01:07:26,421 --> 01:07:29,591
We were on our third pitcher of margaritas
by the time the director called "Wrap."
1006
01:07:41,728 --> 01:07:44,022
Oh, God.
1007
01:07:46,108 --> 01:07:49,570
I saw feet. Tracy's feet.
1008
01:07:50,070 --> 01:07:52,531
The feet had on shoes.
Shit. What time was it?
1009
01:07:55,742 --> 01:07:57,619
I found no expression of rage.
1010
01:07:58,412 --> 01:08:00,831
She was meeting my sorry state
with indifference.
1011
01:08:03,667 --> 01:08:05,794
"Is this what you want?" she said.
1012
01:08:07,296 --> 01:08:08,714
"This is what you wanna be?"
1013
01:08:12,426 --> 01:08:14,595
Okay, Michael, Tracy,
turn your head, please.
1014
01:08:15,846 --> 01:08:18,182
I'd never been so frightened in my life.
1015
01:08:18,182 --> 01:08:21,894
Tracy. Tracy!
1016
01:08:22,810 --> 01:08:25,147
Tracy!
1017
01:08:36,491 --> 01:08:38,285
The bathtub became my refuge.
1018
01:08:40,328 --> 01:08:43,332
Day after day, for hours at a time.
1019
01:08:45,751 --> 01:08:48,462
I just wanted to keep my head below water.
1020
01:08:48,962 --> 01:08:51,173
I needed to suffer.
I needed to go as low as I could go.
1021
01:08:59,096 --> 01:09:02,309
All I could hear
was the muted splash of my trembling hand.
1022
01:09:06,104 --> 01:09:08,148
But as low as alcohol had brought me,
1023
01:09:09,816 --> 01:09:11,484
abstinence would bring me lower.
1024
01:09:17,282 --> 01:09:19,201
I could no longer escape myself.
1025
01:09:23,747 --> 01:09:26,542
My first few years of sobriety
were like a knife fight in a closet.
1026
01:09:28,460 --> 01:09:29,627
What's the knife?
1027
01:09:31,087 --> 01:09:32,339
The truth.
1028
01:09:34,131 --> 01:09:36,885
Truth. I wasn't facing things.
1029
01:09:43,975 --> 01:09:46,395
I just wanted to be out of the world.
1030
01:09:47,854 --> 01:09:50,649
And I wanted to be in another place,
doing another thing.
1031
01:09:59,283 --> 01:10:01,827
I ran away and did movies
in other parts of the world.
1032
01:10:03,745 --> 01:10:06,415
Can't pretend at home
that you don't have Parkinson's...
1033
01:10:09,251 --> 01:10:10,961
because you're just there with it.
1034
01:10:12,004 --> 01:10:14,006
If I'm out in the world,
and I'm dealing with other people...
1035
01:10:16,425 --> 01:10:19,553
and they don't know I have it,
then I don't have it.
1036
01:10:21,722 --> 01:10:23,891
But Tracy was really having a hard time
1037
01:10:23,891 --> 01:10:26,185
and really was
getting to the end of her rope.
1038
01:10:31,857 --> 01:10:34,026
{\an8}Because now we had twins.
1039
01:10:37,279 --> 01:10:38,697
{\an8}Aquinnah and Schuyler.
1040
01:10:41,366 --> 01:10:42,868
{\an8}And I get back to my family.
1041
01:10:43,493 --> 01:10:45,746
Sam was happy I was home, but mad at me.
1042
01:10:47,706 --> 01:10:49,958
{\an8}Mom, I'm gonna try...
1043
01:10:49,958 --> 01:10:51,168
{\an8}It's time.
1044
01:10:53,587 --> 01:10:54,588
{\an8}So, what do I do?
1045
01:10:57,799 --> 01:10:59,801
{\an8}- Left turn.
- I think it's wobbling.
1046
01:10:59,801 --> 01:11:02,513
{\an8}You got it though. You got it. You own it.
1047
01:11:02,513 --> 01:11:05,682
{\an8}You're on it. You're on it. Go, go, go.
Keep going. Go, go, go.
1048
01:11:05,682 --> 01:11:06,934
{\an8}I made up my mind.
1049
01:11:17,569 --> 01:11:18,904
I was going home to television.
1050
01:11:20,030 --> 01:11:23,867
And I thought, "Yeah, there's nothing like
to walk out into a set
1051
01:11:23,867 --> 01:11:26,578
and drop a line
and have them go fucking crazy."
1052
01:11:26,578 --> 01:11:30,165
I just figured, since the Daily News
says we were seen eating dinner,
1053
01:11:30,165 --> 01:11:31,542
we might as well do it.
1054
01:11:32,167 --> 01:11:34,962
You know, the Post
says we're sleeping together.
1055
01:11:36,713 --> 01:11:38,966
- Did you get the last approval ratings?
- Right here, Mike.
1056
01:11:39,466 --> 01:11:43,595
The reviews were terrific,
and ratings suggested long-term success.
1057
01:11:47,933 --> 01:11:50,853
{\an8}With schedules that meshed perfectly
with the rhythms of my family.
1058
01:11:50,853 --> 01:11:52,104
{\an8}Schuyler, walk to me.
1059
01:11:57,150 --> 01:11:59,069
And the situation was near perfect.
1060
01:11:59,069 --> 01:12:00,988
It's called "Spin." Power of persuasion.
1061
01:12:00,988 --> 01:12:03,115
Making people believe
what I want them to believe.
1062
01:12:03,115 --> 01:12:04,741
It's what I do. It is my gift.
1063
01:12:04,741 --> 01:12:05,868
You were amazing.
1064
01:12:05,868 --> 01:12:07,661
Yeah, no problem.
1065
01:12:07,661 --> 01:12:10,831
It was fun pretending.
1066
01:12:15,961 --> 01:12:17,880
All right, the mayor prepared
to speak about the strike?
1067
01:12:17,880 --> 01:12:18,922
I worked on it all night, Mike.
1068
01:12:20,674 --> 01:12:22,968
All right, sir.
We're going on earlier than we thought.
1069
01:12:28,348 --> 01:12:31,643
The stress with doing a weekly show
in front of a studio audience
1070
01:12:33,020 --> 01:12:34,771
was exacerbating my symptoms.
1071
01:12:35,814 --> 01:12:37,983
The whole of my left arm
would be tremoring,
1072
01:12:39,401 --> 01:12:41,403
forceful enough to shake my entire body.
1073
01:12:43,530 --> 01:12:44,948
It would just twist you.
1074
01:12:44,948 --> 01:12:46,867
Then I'd lie on the floor
twisting and waiting,
1075
01:12:46,867 --> 01:12:49,203
and I'd have an audience outside
waiting for me to go do a scene.
1076
01:12:52,206 --> 01:12:55,667
I could not only hear
their feet shuffling, I could feel them.
1077
01:13:00,506 --> 01:13:02,216
Please, join us.
1078
01:13:02,216 --> 01:13:04,426
All the while, I was doing the math.
1079
01:13:05,052 --> 01:13:08,597
How long since the last pill?
How long until it wears off?
1080
01:13:10,432 --> 01:13:11,475
If the warning came
1081
01:13:11,475 --> 01:13:13,852
when I was in the middle of
a four- to five-minute scene,
1082
01:13:14,353 --> 01:13:17,481
there wasn't anything I could do
to stave off the return of my symptoms.
1083
01:13:20,317 --> 01:13:24,321
Fred, Joe,
pleasure to see you guys, as always.
1084
01:13:24,321 --> 01:13:25,280
I was just thinking...
1085
01:13:29,368 --> 01:13:32,246
And still,
no one outside of my family knew.
1086
01:13:34,873 --> 01:13:36,333
I'm living a lie.
1087
01:13:37,918 --> 01:13:40,295
Can't go on with this.
This has gotta stop.
1088
01:13:44,675 --> 01:13:48,136
You start to feel people looking at you,
1089
01:13:48,762 --> 01:13:51,265
staring, judging,
1090
01:13:52,724 --> 01:13:55,561
gazing into the very recesses
of your soul.
1091
01:13:57,145 --> 01:13:59,857
- Yeah, speed.
- Roll cameras.
1092
01:14:10,909 --> 01:14:11,910
We're ready, Michael.
1093
01:14:11,910 --> 01:14:13,871
- Wait, how's that?
- Good.
1094
01:14:13,871 --> 01:14:14,955
Here we go.
1095
01:14:30,637 --> 01:14:33,182
To me, the worst thing is restraint,
1096
01:14:33,182 --> 01:14:38,687
and the worst thing is to be confined
and not be able to have a way out.
1097
01:14:39,730 --> 01:14:41,690
And there were times when I went,
"There's no way out of this."
1098
01:14:48,864 --> 01:14:51,325
I'd spruce up the walls
with fist-sized holes.
1099
01:15:09,885 --> 01:15:11,762
You're only as sick as your secrets.
1100
01:15:16,350 --> 01:15:19,228
If you feel comfortable,
you can let go of the bar.
1101
01:15:19,228 --> 01:15:22,898
If you don't, try and keep the pressure
off that right hand.
1102
01:15:24,149 --> 01:15:25,150
Good. I'm here.
1103
01:15:26,151 --> 01:15:28,278
Good. Move your right foot
to the right a little bit.
1104
01:15:29,029 --> 01:15:30,239
Even more. There you go.
1105
01:15:30,239 --> 01:15:31,323
So, what happened?
1106
01:15:31,323 --> 01:15:32,491
Let's see if you can stay here.
1107
01:15:32,491 --> 01:15:33,909
I fucking hurt myself again.
1108
01:15:36,912 --> 01:15:39,164
I tripped over a carpet,
and I broke my hand,
1109
01:15:39,164 --> 01:15:40,832
and I had pins put in my hand.
1110
01:15:41,959 --> 01:15:43,836
But the area around the pins got infected,
1111
01:15:43,836 --> 01:15:46,421
and then there was the option of
just taking my finger off.
1112
01:15:49,716 --> 01:15:50,926
And then I broke my arm.
1113
01:15:52,594 --> 01:15:55,389
And the people around me were going,
"You gotta be careful."
1114
01:15:55,389 --> 01:15:57,057
I said, "This has nothing to do with
being careful.
1115
01:15:57,057 --> 01:15:58,392
This is just, like-- This happens.
1116
01:15:58,392 --> 01:16:01,019
You have Parkinson's, you trip over shit,
and you fall down."
1117
01:16:01,979 --> 01:16:04,064
Try and lift your chest
just a little bit more.
1118
01:16:04,064 --> 01:16:05,148
There you go.
1119
01:16:10,112 --> 01:16:12,406
- Nice job. Do you--
- Don't put Mikey in a corner.
1120
01:16:14,408 --> 01:16:19,079
When I find you
talking about the shitty stuff,
1121
01:16:19,079 --> 01:16:22,165
I see you sort of get close to it
and then dart away.
1122
01:16:27,504 --> 01:16:29,298
Careful with this right hand.
1123
01:16:29,298 --> 01:16:30,382
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
1124
01:16:30,966 --> 01:16:32,467
- Good. Have a seat.
- I'm okay.
1125
01:16:32,467 --> 01:16:33,844
- You want-- You sure?
- Yeah.
1126
01:16:36,346 --> 01:16:38,724
- This is where I can't use my--
- Right.
1127
01:16:39,308 --> 01:16:42,311
See, the core is still there.
Those are obliques.
1128
01:16:42,311 --> 01:16:44,062
- Yeah.
- Right. How you feeling?
1129
01:16:45,105 --> 01:16:46,106
Okay.
1130
01:16:46,106 --> 01:16:49,109
I've interviewed you
for hours and hours and hours.
1131
01:16:49,109 --> 01:16:51,278
You've never told me once, "I'm in pain."
1132
01:16:54,114 --> 01:16:55,866
- I'm in pain.
- You are?
1133
01:16:55,866 --> 01:16:57,951
I'm in intense pain.
1134
01:16:58,952 --> 01:17:03,207
Five, four, three, two, one. And relax.
1135
01:17:03,207 --> 01:17:05,709
- That's making it really hurt.
- The shoulder? Here?
1136
01:17:05,709 --> 01:17:09,254
Every tremor is like a seismic jolt.
1137
01:17:09,254 --> 01:17:11,006
- Do you wanna sit upright?
- Yeah, I do.
1138
01:17:11,006 --> 01:17:12,382
Do you wanna sit in the chair?
1139
01:17:12,382 --> 01:17:14,593
- Anything but what I'm doing right now.
- Okay.
1140
01:17:15,177 --> 01:17:16,470
But why wouldn't you tell me--
1141
01:17:16,470 --> 01:17:18,430
- This is about us talking...
- Well, it didn't come up.
1142
01:17:18,430 --> 01:17:20,349
...and telling the truth.
Why wouldn't you tell me about your pain?
1143
01:17:20,349 --> 01:17:22,893
It didn't come up.
I'm not gonna lead with it.
1144
01:17:27,356 --> 01:17:28,524
Good. Don't plop.
1145
01:17:29,066 --> 01:17:31,235
No jolts. Good.
1146
01:17:33,195 --> 01:17:34,196
I'm okay.
1147
01:17:35,989 --> 01:17:37,824
- I just wanna feel better.
- Yeah.
1148
01:17:37,824 --> 01:17:40,327
And it seems to me I can see clearly--
1149
01:17:40,827 --> 01:17:42,871
more clearly the things I need to do
to feel better.
1150
01:17:43,830 --> 01:17:45,999
But it's this Michael J. Fox stuff.
1151
01:17:47,125 --> 01:17:48,877
People express to me
that I make them feel better,
1152
01:17:48,877 --> 01:17:51,213
I make them do things
they might not otherwise do.
1153
01:17:51,213 --> 01:17:54,174
And that's the most powerful thing
you could ever feel,
1154
01:17:54,174 --> 01:17:55,926
and that's a huge responsibility.
1155
01:17:56,468 --> 01:17:58,428
- And I don't want to fuck it up.
- Right.
1156
01:18:01,306 --> 01:18:05,644
It's okay not to be
Michael J. Fox sometimes.
1157
01:18:18,615 --> 01:18:21,702
Michael J. Fox
kept something very private.
1158
01:18:23,453 --> 01:18:25,205
Something about his health.
1159
01:18:25,205 --> 01:18:29,459
Now he's gone public with the fact
that he has Parkinson's disease.
1160
01:18:29,459 --> 01:18:32,087
Michael J. Fox,
one of America's best-loved actors
1161
01:18:32,087 --> 01:18:35,007
has decided to publicly announce that
he's been battling Parkinson's disease.
1162
01:18:35,007 --> 01:18:37,176
...shocked the
entertainment world when he announced
1163
01:18:37,176 --> 01:18:39,261
he has been battling Parkinson's disease.
1164
01:18:39,261 --> 01:18:41,346
...and has had it for seven years.
1165
01:18:42,890 --> 01:18:45,267
Michael,
all this week we have been hearing
1166
01:18:45,267 --> 01:18:47,603
that you have this devastating disease,
1167
01:18:47,603 --> 01:18:51,315
that it is life-threatening,
that you are in the fight for your life.
1168
01:18:52,232 --> 01:18:53,901
Do you feel relieved now?
1169
01:18:54,484 --> 01:18:56,236
Oh, my God. What have I done?
1170
01:18:58,405 --> 01:18:59,781
What is his prognosis?
1171
01:18:59,781 --> 01:19:02,034
Within ten years,
he will have serious disabilities.
1172
01:19:02,659 --> 01:19:04,703
Balance problems with frequent falls.
1173
01:19:05,370 --> 01:19:07,497
I think he's got
a tough road ahead of him.
1174
01:19:10,125 --> 01:19:11,543
Are you at all concerned
1175
01:19:11,543 --> 01:19:13,837
that now audiences
will look at you differently?
1176
01:19:18,300 --> 01:19:20,677
This will be my first time
in front of a studio audience
1177
01:19:20,677 --> 01:19:22,346
since I disclosed my diagnosis.
1178
01:19:25,140 --> 01:19:28,810
My fear was that they would reject me,
and that they would not understand it,
1179
01:19:30,270 --> 01:19:31,939
that because I was sick,
I couldn't be funny.
1180
01:19:34,274 --> 01:19:36,902
And I had to hope
that they could accept me.
1181
01:19:38,111 --> 01:19:40,155
- We got speed.
- Roll cameras.
1182
01:19:40,155 --> 01:19:41,907
- Mark.
- And action.
1183
01:19:47,120 --> 01:19:48,580
We meet again, Mr. Bond.
1184
01:19:58,090 --> 01:19:59,091
There.
1185
01:20:00,217 --> 01:20:01,677
Deal with that, Bobo Fischer.
1186
01:20:15,983 --> 01:20:16,984
I knew that.
1187
01:20:20,487 --> 01:20:21,947
That's a bold move.
1188
01:20:25,200 --> 01:20:27,202
And I got this huge reaction.
1189
01:20:28,036 --> 01:20:30,998
You have chosen poorly.
1190
01:20:36,170 --> 01:20:37,004
Checkmate.
1191
01:20:37,004 --> 01:20:39,590
Like, that's love that can't help itself.
1192
01:20:48,974 --> 01:20:52,019
Do you feel like you have a 90-year-old
like, dad, or...
1193
01:20:52,519 --> 01:20:55,606
'Cause I don't feel like 90 years old,
but I-- Well, you sometimes get mad at me.
1194
01:20:55,606 --> 01:20:57,441
Like, you guys all say,
"Be careful, be careful."
1195
01:20:57,441 --> 01:21:00,777
I say that I'm being careful. Like,
what, do I set out to not be careful?
1196
01:21:00,777 --> 01:21:03,488
Nobody thinks your agenda
isn't to be careful.
1197
01:21:03,488 --> 01:21:06,200
It's that that maybe isn't--
1198
01:21:07,367 --> 01:21:08,493
The first thing--
1199
01:21:08,493 --> 01:21:10,787
It's lower on the list of things
than it is for us.
1200
01:21:11,371 --> 01:21:12,372
So--
1201
01:21:13,582 --> 01:21:16,251
So I just have to make sure, you know?
And I'd rather--
1202
01:21:17,002 --> 01:21:18,462
It's great if you understand
what I'm saying,
1203
01:21:18,462 --> 01:21:19,963
but I'd rather you don't fall over.
1204
01:21:19,963 --> 01:21:21,423
- I'm working on it.
- Yeah.
1205
01:21:23,800 --> 01:21:26,428
I can look at myself, and I say,
"I have Parkinson's."
1206
01:21:27,095 --> 01:21:28,597
So, how do I wanna live with that?
1207
01:21:30,557 --> 01:21:32,434
But if I never get past the
"I have Parkinson's" part,
1208
01:21:32,434 --> 01:21:34,520
if I never get past the part
where I wake up in the morning
1209
01:21:34,520 --> 01:21:36,480
and I go, "Yeah, that's real.
That's happening,"
1210
01:21:37,105 --> 01:21:38,607
then I can't get past it.
1211
01:21:38,607 --> 01:21:41,443
You know, this is the first time
that I've had a chance to talk with--
1212
01:21:41,443 --> 01:21:44,071
the first time you've been on the show
since you had your press conference
1213
01:21:44,071 --> 01:21:45,405
- and announced that you...
- Right.
1214
01:21:45,405 --> 01:21:46,532
...have Parkinson's disease.
1215
01:21:46,532 --> 01:21:48,033
- And I just-- I think folks...
- Yeah.
1216
01:21:48,033 --> 01:21:50,118
...well, you know--
How's it been going since?
1217
01:21:50,118 --> 01:21:51,286
What was the reaction
of that announcement?
1218
01:21:51,286 --> 01:21:53,121
Pretty much the same. It didn't change.
1219
01:21:53,121 --> 01:21:54,831
- I still have it. So...
- Yeah?
1220
01:21:59,044 --> 01:22:02,464
After all those years of
hiding my symptoms, I could let it go.
1221
01:22:03,590 --> 01:22:09,137
I suffer from a condition,
and it makes me do this,
1222
01:22:09,972 --> 01:22:11,765
and this, and...
1223
01:22:13,851 --> 01:22:15,227
Uh-oh.
1224
01:22:15,227 --> 01:22:17,938
If you just look at me long enough,
you get used to it.
1225
01:22:17,938 --> 01:22:21,733
I realized I didn't have to
do anything other than be myself.
1226
01:22:21,733 --> 01:22:23,735
Sometimes when I take
a little bit too much medication,
1227
01:22:23,735 --> 01:22:26,238
I get that kind of swaying thing.
I do the kind of Axl Rose thing.
1228
01:22:27,865 --> 01:22:31,577
So, if you see that, you know, just kind
of hum "Paradise City" in your mind.
1229
01:22:33,579 --> 01:22:37,624
I was still me, people recognized.
Just me plus Parkinson's.
1230
01:22:38,709 --> 01:22:41,170
Oh, Jesus Christ.
1231
01:22:41,170 --> 01:22:42,838
- What the hell?
- You want?
1232
01:22:44,298 --> 01:22:46,008
Did you shake that up on purpose?
1233
01:22:46,925 --> 01:22:47,759
Parkinson's.
1234
01:22:49,761 --> 01:22:52,598
Some people would view the news of
my disease as an ending.
1235
01:22:53,599 --> 01:22:56,518
But I was starting to sense that
it was really a beginning.
1236
01:22:57,102 --> 01:22:59,521
Actor Michael J. Fox
testified before Congress,
1237
01:22:59,521 --> 01:23:02,983
asking for an increase in research funding
for Parkinson's disease.
1238
01:23:04,276 --> 01:23:08,155
"I'm here to tell you that administering
a successful research program
1239
01:23:08,155 --> 01:23:09,448
is not rocket science.
1240
01:23:09,948 --> 01:23:13,619
It's mostly common sense and the will
to get things done. Thank you."
1241
01:23:14,161 --> 01:23:15,454
Good stuff, Michael.
1242
01:23:17,122 --> 01:23:18,624
I never actually said this to anybody,
1243
01:23:18,624 --> 01:23:20,000
but I always fantasized saying it.
1244
01:23:20,000 --> 01:23:22,753
"Yeah, you're bigger than me.
You'll beat me up.
1245
01:23:23,587 --> 01:23:26,089
But I'll hit you once, and you'll hurt."
1246
01:23:28,800 --> 01:23:30,511
And I knew that moment.
1247
01:23:34,932 --> 01:23:38,477
Muhammad Ali and
Michael J. Fox joining a chorus of voices
1248
01:23:38,477 --> 01:23:40,354
saying money is desperately needed.
1249
01:23:41,355 --> 01:23:45,025
I wanted to be in the world and not
take this and retreat from the world.
1250
01:23:45,734 --> 01:23:47,694
It made me realize
what I still have to give.
1251
01:23:48,862 --> 01:23:51,448
Find it extremely moving--
no pun intended--
1252
01:23:51,448 --> 01:23:53,367
to be here today and reach out...
1253
01:23:54,034 --> 01:23:57,204
{\an8}The Fox Foundation has
revolutionized scientific philanthropy,
1254
01:23:57,788 --> 01:24:02,125
mobilized the Parkinson's community
and raised nearly two billion dollars.
1255
01:24:06,713 --> 01:24:10,551
I was ten years after my Parkinson's
diagnosis when Esmé was born.
1256
01:24:12,386 --> 01:24:13,846
Hello, I...
1257
01:24:15,722 --> 01:24:17,891
Go see Daddy. Go give Daddy a kiss.
1258
01:24:18,559 --> 01:24:20,435
- Look at Dad.
- What's Daddy doing?
1259
01:24:20,435 --> 01:24:21,603
Look at Daddy, Esmé.
1260
01:24:21,603 --> 01:24:22,771
The kids are the best,
1261
01:24:22,771 --> 01:24:25,607
because kids will just say,
"Will you stop moving around?"
1262
01:24:31,154 --> 01:24:32,155
I'm sure.
1263
01:24:32,781 --> 01:24:34,950
I say, "I'll give it a shot, hon."
1264
01:24:42,082 --> 01:24:43,083
- No.
- In love.
1265
01:24:43,083 --> 01:24:45,085
- No. They're...
- They're flying.
1266
01:24:45,794 --> 01:24:47,379
- They're dancing.
- Okay, good.
1267
01:24:47,379 --> 01:24:49,548
- Would you guys like to switch teams...
- But what--
1268
01:24:49,548 --> 01:24:52,092
...because we've been winning,
or do you wanna keep the same teams?
1269
01:24:52,092 --> 01:24:54,178
I like the teams we're on, but...
1270
01:24:54,178 --> 01:24:56,221
- I'm tragic at this game.
- It's not her fault. It's my fault.
1271
01:24:56,221 --> 01:24:57,639
But I was thinking-- Yeah.
1272
01:24:57,639 --> 01:24:58,557
Do you see it?
1273
01:24:58,557 --> 01:25:00,184
- Oh, yeah.
- You got it?
1274
01:25:02,895 --> 01:25:03,812
You.
1275
01:25:04,313 --> 01:25:05,814
- You got it already?
- Yeah.
1276
01:25:05,814 --> 01:25:07,024
I just had me.
1277
01:25:07,649 --> 01:25:08,817
It was me?
1278
01:25:08,817 --> 01:25:10,110
It was me, not you.
1279
01:25:10,110 --> 01:25:12,154
He thinks it was "Michael J. Fox."
1280
01:25:16,033 --> 01:25:18,243
The thing about motion with me is,
I've always been moving,
1281
01:25:18,243 --> 01:25:19,912
and maybe that's because I'm small.
1282
01:25:19,912 --> 01:25:22,456
I've always been moving,
and I always counted on movement
1283
01:25:22,456 --> 01:25:24,791
to not only propel me from place to place,
1284
01:25:24,791 --> 01:25:28,545
but to express myself as I propelled
from place to place, and to be who I am.
1285
01:25:37,554 --> 01:25:41,183
But the thing that I learned
was that I couldn't be still in my life.
1286
01:25:41,183 --> 01:25:43,477
I couldn't be present in my life.
1287
01:25:52,361 --> 01:25:54,696
Until I found this thing happened to me
1288
01:25:54,696 --> 01:25:56,657
that made me present
in every moment of my life,
1289
01:25:56,657 --> 01:25:57,783
because it was shaking me awake.
1290
01:26:01,161 --> 01:26:02,162
There you go.