1
00:00:00,667 --> 00:00:01,918
[upbeat music playing]
2
00:00:01,918 --> 00:00:04,754
Are you ready to meet
the Sexiest Villain Alive?
3
00:00:04,754 --> 00:00:07,757
Because Helen Villigan
is ready to crown 'em.
4
00:00:07,757 --> 00:00:10,760
The nominations are in
for the eighth annual
5
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:15,015
- Villigans Sexiest Villain
Alive awards!
- [buzzer sounding]
6
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,683
[Bane] Ugh! Look at that.
7
00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:19,436
They're treating
villains like steaks.
8
00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:23,523
These sexy awards shows are
so reductive.
9
00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:25,984
Ooh, the rumor mill is humming.
10
00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:29,362
Who will be this year's winner?
Will it be "the good"?
11
00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:33,533
As in six-time SVA champ,
Lex Luthor?
12
00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:34,868
It's seven.
13
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:37,328
Just kidding, Lex. [chuckles]
We know it's seven.
14
00:00:37,328 --> 00:00:40,248
Or could it be "the bad"?
15
00:00:40,248 --> 00:00:43,752
As in, Gotham's newest
bad boy, Beast Mode.
16
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:48,882
Fuck, yeah! I'mma serve
them up some Beast-a-la-Mode!
17
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,216
- [laughs]
- [Laff trak laughing]
18
00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:52,635
Laff Trak gets it. Shots!
19
00:00:52,635 --> 00:00:55,013
Ooh, Glider.
Your boyfriend's moving
up in the world.
20
00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:57,182
He is not my boyfriend.
21
00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:59,100
What happened to you, Chuck?
22
00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:02,520
Seems the last few days
or so, he's been
a little too cool for school.
23
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:05,231
He's insufferable.
God, I hope he loses.
24
00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:06,524
[Bane] Who cares?
25
00:01:06,524 --> 00:01:09,319
It is a vapid,
meaningless contest.
26
00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:12,030
Or will it be "the ugly"?
27
00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:14,699
Like this year's
dark horse nominee, Bane!
28
00:01:14,699 --> 00:01:18,995
[splutters] Holy shit!
I'm nominated?
29
00:01:18,995 --> 00:01:21,373
That's fucking amazing.
30
00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:23,875
You guys really think
I can win?
31
00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:25,877
Not in that outfit.
32
00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:28,755
And the winner will be
unveiled tomorrow night
at the Legion of Doom,
33
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:33,259
hosted by yours truly,
presented by Villigans.
34
00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:35,553
[theme music playing]
35
00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:40,392
They name-checked Lex, Bane,
and Beast Mode,
36
00:01:40,392 --> 00:01:41,851
but what about Moe Dubelz?
37
00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:44,104
I already got a nice tuxedo
picked out for us.
38
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,271
I'm not going
with you to the awards.
39
00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:46,731
The fuck are you talking about?
40
00:01:46,731 --> 00:01:48,608
If I'm going,
you're obviously going with me.
41
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:51,069
I'm going with you,
but not with you.
42
00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:52,612
I have a date.
43
00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:54,864
Uh-uh. Don't give me that look.
We're not a thing.
44
00:01:54,864 --> 00:01:57,367
At best, we're conjoined twins
who fool around sometimes.
45
00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:58,785
Oh, that's bullshit.
46
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,245
If you got a date,
then I'm bringing one too.
47
00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:01,413
- Fine.
- Fine.
48
00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,331
[Beast Mode laughing]
49
00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:06,584
- Greetings, losers.
- [woman yelps]
50
00:02:06,584 --> 00:02:10,338
- [Glider] Ugh!
- [Bane] Kite! Uh, Beast,
uh, Man Mode.
51
00:02:10,338 --> 00:02:15,301
Isn't it cool that we are
both in the running
for Sexiest Villain Alive?
52
00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:17,345
[chuckles] Yeah.
You may be in the running,
53
00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:19,431
but everyone's
gonna run from you,
54
00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:21,766
'cause you look
like a dummy. Whuppah!
55
00:02:21,766 --> 00:02:23,810
[Laff Trak laughing]
56
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:26,604
- [Bane] Grumble, grumble.
- You're literally just saying
the word, "grumble."
57
00:02:26,604 --> 00:02:29,190
- [Bane] Shuffles off angrily!
- [laughs]
58
00:02:29,190 --> 00:02:31,192
Listen, Chuck, we need to talk.
59
00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:32,360
Yeah, we do.
60
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:33,820
Been rethinking our biz strat.
61
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:36,573
We can't keep catering
to broke losers.
62
00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:39,743
We need to attract
Euro club kids
with loose cash.
63
00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:42,996
What? No, I own
50% of Noonan's.
64
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,456
We're not changing it!
65
00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:46,624
No. You own 50% of Club Libido,
66
00:02:46,624 --> 00:02:48,543
'cause I already changed it
to that in my head.
67
00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:50,045
Get out of here, douchebag!
68
00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:52,464
- Now!
- I'm rubber. You're glue.
69
00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:55,300
Whatever you say,
bounces off me
and sticks to you.
70
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:56,801
- Whuppah!
- [Glider yells]
71
00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:58,303
[thudding]
72
00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:00,555
- You're an asshole.
- And you have a bloody nose.
73
00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:02,349
- I do not have a bloody--
- [Beast Mode] Whuppah!
74
00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:04,768
Oh! You fucking prick.
75
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:08,605
Oh, is that any way to talk
to the Sexiest Villain Alive?
76
00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:10,899
[chuckles] Smell you later!
77
00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:14,778
- Sexiest Villain Alive?
We'll see about that.
- [dark music playing]
78
00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:18,281
I mean, I thought "grumble,"
was a pretty good comeback.
79
00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:20,784
- You come with me.
- Hmm?
80
00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:22,160
Where are we going?
81
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,829
To a town called,
"Whole New You."
82
00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:27,415
Population... You!
83
00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:28,917
I hate Beast Mode.
84
00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:31,294
What twisted ass-dick power
did they give Chuck?
85
00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:33,838
The pantsing, the "I'm rubber,
you're glue"-ing,
86
00:03:33,838 --> 00:03:35,340
the bloody nose.
87
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:37,175
That's a sure sign,
Kite Man got
the douchebag power.
88
00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:39,594
Well, how do I get him back?
I can't get through to him.
89
00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:42,013
Then you better find
someone who can.
90
00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:48,061
If this goes on much longer,
the Kite Man you know
will be gone for good.
91
00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:49,854
I think I know just the person.
92
00:03:49,854 --> 00:03:53,900
Forget it. And be still,
Reginald, you fatty.
93
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:56,319
Chuck spent his whole life
trying to impress you.
94
00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:58,029
God knows why.
95
00:03:58,029 --> 00:04:01,658
I think maybe you can get him
to give up this stupid power.
96
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:04,703
But to do that, I'd have
to spend time with him. Pass.
97
00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:06,663
Do it, and I'll
personally guarantee
98
00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:09,249
that Chuck won't call,
text, or email you
for a whole year.
99
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:12,544
Mmm. All right,
soft accept. I'm in.
100
00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:14,796
[groovy music playing]
101
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:23,680
[Bane] Ooh, sexy guy!
102
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,515
- Ooh!
- First of all,
103
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:27,642
don't pretend to walk
in slow motion.
104
00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:29,436
It makes you look thirsty.
105
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:30,770
Remember, Bane.
106
00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:33,023
You wear the suit,
it doesn't wear you.
107
00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:36,192
[Bane] But... I... I... I...
Do I look good?
108
00:04:36,192 --> 00:04:37,944
You look fantastic.
109
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:41,740
If I were a six,
instead of a Miami nine,
which is an Atlanta 11,
110
00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:44,242
you'd be in trouble
right now, mister.
111
00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:47,912
[Bane chuckles] Okay.
112
00:04:47,912 --> 00:04:49,914
- [man laughing]
- [Beast Mode
mock punching]
113
00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:53,668
Nice baby.
114
00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:55,795
Let me know if you need
another one.
115
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,922
[all laughing]
116
00:04:57,922 --> 00:04:58,840
Up top!
117
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:03,053
Hey, Man-Bat!
I saw your last fight.
118
00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:04,471
[Man-Bat screeching]
119
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:06,598
I've seen better kicks
at Riverdance Junior.
120
00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:09,434
- [all laughing]
- [Man-Bat screeching]
121
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:11,436
- Oops! Two for flinching!
- [screeches]
122
00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:13,772
- [screeches]
- [all laughing]
123
00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:15,523
[Beast Mode] Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
124
00:05:15,523 --> 00:05:17,067
I've seen enough.
125
00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:19,527
Chuck!
126
00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:22,530
I have never been
more impressed.
127
00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:26,117
My boy's an Alpha.
Please tell me there's
a spot on your entourage.
128
00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:27,619
Are you kidding me, Darryl?
129
00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:29,287
You're not a father.
130
00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:31,206
You wouldn't understand
the joy of seeing
your firstborn
131
00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:34,250
throw a stranger
through a window
just for fun.
132
00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:35,627
- [chuckles]
- Beast Pops gets it!
133
00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:38,463
And for fuck's sake,
call me Beast Pops.
134
00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:40,131
You're pathetic.
135
00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:44,636
So you finally wanna feast mode
on some Beast Mode?
136
00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:46,471
[Kite Man] Help me, Glider.
137
00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:48,348
[Beast Mode]
'Cause let's just say
there's enough for seconds.
138
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,225
[chuckles] I don't think so.
139
00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:51,351
Wait, what did you just say?
140
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,436
I said, my dick's too big.
141
00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:54,979
[Kite Man] Babe,
please make this stop.
142
00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:57,023
[Beast Mode] Oh! Trying to get
a look at it? [laughs]
143
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,984
Oh, Chuck! I'll do anything
to make it stop.
144
00:05:59,984 --> 00:06:01,986
But how? Should we go
to Etrigan?
145
00:06:01,986 --> 00:06:04,489
- Uh, let's go right now.
- [laughs] Oh, yeah. As if.
146
00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:06,074
How about you go to hell--
147
00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:07,492
[Kite Man] ...len Villigan.
148
00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:08,910
She's the only one...
Uh, Master Controller.
149
00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:11,413
Her... Her office can
change me back.
150
00:06:11,413 --> 00:06:13,498
[Beast Mode] ...Side.
Your backside.
151
00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:15,041
Turn around.
Let me check it out.
152
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:17,460
Hey, Beast Mode.
Wanna hit up a titty bar?
153
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:20,046
I'm a walking titty bar, Dad.
154
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,339
Don't know what that means,
155
00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:22,924
but I have never loved
my son more.
156
00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:26,261
- [Laff Trak] Aw!
- To the titty bar!
157
00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:29,514
Helen-fucking-Villigan!
158
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:32,600
Oye! You lot, listen!
159
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,185
Prepare yourselves,
160
00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:38,481
for the Sexiest Villain Alive
has arrived.
161
00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:40,150
[Bane hissing]
162
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,737
Business, business, turn, yeah.
163
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,697
Strut, strut, strut, strut.
164
00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:47,615
Business, business, turn, yeah.
165
00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:49,284
- Vacation guy, sexy, oh!
- Hmm, they're not responding
166
00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:51,494
like he's the sexiest thing
they've ever seen.
167
00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:52,746
Something's missing.
168
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,998
Yeah, chicken nuggets!
169
00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:57,500
We're out, Mal,
and I'm kind of starving.
170
00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:00,879
Just started at Villigan's
and had a long day
of deliveries.
171
00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:02,881
I'm trying
to help Bane be sexy.
172
00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:06,426
Well, maybe, he'll be sexier
holding a chicken nugget.
173
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,802
Worth a shot!
174
00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:09,179
Fine.
175
00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:12,223
Gus, I'm going to turn
Beast Mode back into Kite Man.
176
00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:14,768
I need the Master Controller
from Helen Villigan's office.
177
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,728
- How do I get in?
- Oh, that's easy.
178
00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:19,397
Step one, be Helen Villigan.
179
00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:20,732
[laughing]
180
00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:22,400
Ow! [grunts] I'm sorry.
181
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:25,070
That... That one gets big yucks
at the fulfillment center.
182
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:27,572
Yeah, only Helen can
get into her office.
183
00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:30,742
Hey, where are you going?
184
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:33,787
Oh, well, haven't you become
quite the man about town.
185
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,663
[Beast Mode sniffs, coughs]
186
00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:37,665
Yeah, and you know
what's 'ronic?
187
00:07:37,665 --> 00:07:39,959
I got this power to be
good enough for Glider,
188
00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:42,337
but now she's not even
good enough for me.
189
00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:44,381
Oh, that is 'ronic.
190
00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:45,924
You know what's
even more 'ronic?
191
00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:48,009
I gave you the douchiest power
in the universe
192
00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:51,096
so I could steal
the most powerful thing
in the universe.
193
00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:54,265
I don't think that tech fits
the definish of 'ronic,
194
00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:55,475
but whatevs.
195
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,018
So, what are
you sellin', Helen?
196
00:07:57,018 --> 00:08:00,897
Tonight, you will be crowned
Sexiest Villain Alive.
197
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:02,649
- Fingers crossed.
- No.
198
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:06,361
You will be the Sexiest
Villain Alive tonight.
199
00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:09,489
Maybe. And you could be
a Minnesota six
if you wore heels more.
200
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:12,283
Those flats are keeping
the merchandise
on the bottom shelf.
201
00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:14,911
Look, dummy,
I pick the winner
and I picked you.
202
00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:18,373
So tonight,
during your acceptance speech,
203
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:21,126
you will unload on Lex Luthor.
204
00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:23,795
- Face or stomach?
- Oh, my God,
you make this so hard.
205
00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:27,632
I want Lex so furious
at you that he won't notice
206
00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:28,967
anything else going on
in the room.
207
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,635
What if an elephant walks in?
208
00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:32,137
He wouldn't notice.
209
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:35,181
- With clothes on
and a bell on its tail?
- [sighs]
210
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:37,684
- While he's distracted,
I'm going to release...
- [Beast Mode] Ay!
211
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,978
- ...tiny hummingbird robots
that will find me...
- [monitor whirring]
212
00:08:39,978 --> 00:08:43,523
...a very special briefcase
I've been looking for.
213
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:47,068
- [keypad clicking]
- My infallible algorithm
tells me, Lex stole it,
214
00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:50,155
and it will be
at the Legion of Doom tonight.
215
00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:52,991
Hummingbirds are dumb.
Here's a better idea.
216
00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:54,993
- Leopards.
- Leopards are too big.
217
00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:56,828
Baby leopards then, real ones.
218
00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:58,663
Just off the nippie of momma!
219
00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:00,123
They need to be robots.
220
00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:03,918
Fine, but leopards are
very trainable.
221
00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:09,090
- [rustling]
- [trilling]
222
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:10,175
[gasps]
223
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:11,843
Good Lord!
224
00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:15,180
What are the chances that
something this extraordinary
225
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:18,350
has been hiding
for who knows how long here?
226
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:20,018
This changes everything.
227
00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:23,688
[Bane] This changes everything.
What is in it?
228
00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:28,234
Who gives a shit!
Darling, it's what's
on the outside that counts.
229
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:30,612
And this is
the perfect accessory.
230
00:09:30,612 --> 00:09:31,863
It was under
the Chick-y Nuggets.
231
00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:34,532
So, that's why
the handle is cold.
232
00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:39,871
Which is ironic
because I have
never been hotter.
233
00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:41,039
[upbeat electronic
music playing]
234
00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:47,754
- [Bane] I've got it,
yeah, yeah.
- [woman squeals]
235
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,089
[Bane] He's got it.
236
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:51,925
- Looks good, Bane.
- Damn, what a briefcase.
237
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,635
You look like
a successful businessman.
238
00:09:53,635 --> 00:09:56,388
- So, Baney. How do you feel?
- [person cheering indistinctly]
239
00:09:56,388 --> 00:10:04,479
[Bane] Like, uh, like, uh...
Like the Sexiest Villain Alive!
240
00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:07,399
Now just let me do the talking.
241
00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:11,528
I'm so glad you agreed
to see me
on such short notice, Helen.
242
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:13,738
- [Helen] Hmm.
- Mrs. Villigan.
243
00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:15,240
I thought you left
for the awards.
244
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,450
And now she's back.
Is there a problem?
245
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,536
- [Helen] Mmm.
- Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Villigan.
246
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:22,038
- Of course not.
Please go right in.
- [door lock buzzing]
247
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:30,005
[Clayface] Not since
my King Lear at the Jewish
Senior Center in Tallahassee
248
00:10:30,005 --> 00:10:33,258
has an entrance been so divine.
249
00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:34,551
[laughs]
250
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,261
My word.
251
00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:39,347
The office where
Villigan's original content
was green-lit.
252
00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:42,559
So, what computational trinket
are we hunting?
253
00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:47,105
Like I told you, we're looking
for her Master Controller,
Clayface.
254
00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:48,857
- Found it!
- That's a brush.
255
00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:51,109
Hmm. Looks more like this. Oh!
256
00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:54,362
Huh! Then this must be
the associate controller.
257
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:56,156
[device trilling]
258
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:58,158
Oh, quick, quick, quick, quick.
Turn back into Helen.
259
00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,951
This thing requires
a retinal scan.
260
00:10:59,951 --> 00:11:03,496
Well, well, well.
The future of security is now.
261
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:06,583
- [laughs]
- Jesus Christ.
I said "retinal scan."
262
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:08,793
Ah! Retinal scan.
263
00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:10,920
Rectal scan's two-eyed cousin.
264
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,797
- [device trilling]
- Damn it!
265
00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:15,967
This is the only thing
that can change Beast Mode
back to Kite Man.
266
00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:17,635
Why won't it scan
your dumb eyes?
267
00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:19,429
[laughs] Me.
268
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:22,432
Perhaps my attendance
at yesterday's
eclipse watchers meeting
269
00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:24,476
yields a clue.
270
00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:28,104
Pro tip! It is ill-advised
to stare at the sun
for 30consecutive minutes.
271
00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:30,940
Unless you want
your retinas as bald
and chapped
272
00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:33,651
as the ass
of Sir Patrick Stewart.
273
00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:35,153
Are you fucking kidding me?
274
00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:38,365
I kid not!
His ass is also bald.
275
00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:40,075
But do not fret, Ms. Glider.
276
00:11:40,075 --> 00:11:43,536
All you need are
Ms. Villigan's real eyes.
277
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,830
[fanfare music playing]
278
00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:56,841
[laughing] I feel sorry
for all these unsexy dweebs.
279
00:11:56,841 --> 00:12:02,180
Oh! There is something
so sexy about a man
with only one head on his body.
280
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:05,350
My head's not
the only thing made
of wood, cutie.
281
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:07,602
- Oh! The mouth on you.
- [Toy Man laughing]
282
00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:09,187
I gotta tell you, Insect Queen,
283
00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:11,481
that thorax is
turning my crank.
284
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:14,818
[chuckles] Aren't you just
a big block of honey?
285
00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:17,821
Really? You're gonna sweet-talk
your egg-laying whore
right in front of me.
286
00:12:17,821 --> 00:12:20,532
Moe, you're gonna put up
with this shit
from your other head?
287
00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:23,535
Which, by the way,
your dating profile
neglected to mention.
288
00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:26,788
- You see what you caused?
- Me? This is my fault?
289
00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:28,748
You know what?
If you don't want me around,
290
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,166
sayonara, motherfucker.
291
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:31,501
- [grunts]
- [all gasp]
292
00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:32,419
Whoa!
293
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,089
- Have fun
with your six-legged freak.
- [Toy Man gasps]
294
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,633
- Says the head on the plate.
- Ladies!
295
00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:41,553
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
We're all here
to have a good time.
296
00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:44,389
How about me
and Moe grab us
some drinks, huh?
297
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:49,978
[Bane] I see
you wondering, uh-huh.
298
00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:53,231
Who is that fancy lad
with his shiny silk suit?
299
00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:55,734
Well, let me tell you,
or rather,
300
00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:57,986
- let me spell it to you.
- [snaps fingers]
301
00:12:57,986 --> 00:13:00,113
- Hit it, Malice. Can do.
- [upbeat music playing]
302
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:05,910
♪ B-B-B "B" is
For back off, ladies
Plenty of me to go around ♪
303
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:07,704
♪ A-A-A "A" is for Aye ♪
304
00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:10,040
♪ I said, "Back off, ladies"
Seriously! ♪
305
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,125
♪ Didn't you hear me
Say '"B"? ♪
306
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:15,086
♪ "N"! "N" is
For not listening ♪
307
00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:17,213
♪ I said, "back off" ♪
308
00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:19,424
♪ Because I don't want you
To rip the new suit
You know? ♪
309
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:20,592
Uh...
310
00:13:20,592 --> 00:13:24,095
♪ E-E "E" is for, uh, uh
'Mergency
311
00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:26,890
♪ Yeah, yeah
"E" is for 'mergency, yeah ♪
312
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:31,436
♪ As we are going to need
to call 'mergency services ♪
313
00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:34,898
♪ 'Cause these ladies
just won't back off of me ♪
314
00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:36,483
♪ Exclamation point ♪
315
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:38,276
And that spells?
316
00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:41,821
[yells] Bane!
317
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:43,948
[cheering]
318
00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:47,035
Well, well, well. This is
some unexpected competish.
319
00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:49,788
Forget Bane. Focus on Lex.
When you win, attack him.
320
00:13:49,788 --> 00:13:53,583
Draw attention.
So no one notices
my robot hummingbirds.
321
00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:54,793
Still going with that, huh?
322
00:13:54,793 --> 00:13:56,378
Beast Mode, we're doing shots!
323
00:13:56,378 --> 00:13:58,963
More like the shots are
doing me!
324
00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:01,841
[laughs] How does he do it?
325
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:02,801
[both slurp, sigh]
326
00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:04,636
Eight in a row. Wow!
327
00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:06,096
[chuckles] So unexpected.
328
00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:07,472
Uh, I need to thank, Tanya.
329
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:09,307
[chuckles] You shine
my head, bright than--
330
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:10,850
Briefcase?
331
00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:16,815
The Anti-Life Equation.
332
00:14:16,815 --> 00:14:18,817
Hmm.
333
00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:21,069
[clicks tongue] Mmm.
Love Cabernet.
334
00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:23,697
It has such great body.
335
00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:25,657
Fuck you, bitch!
336
00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:28,159
The only reason
I don't have a body is
because it got eaten by bugs.
337
00:14:28,159 --> 00:14:30,662
- Probably your relatives.
- Mmm, hell, no.
338
00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:33,915
Because they know better
than to eat a body
before I had a taste.
339
00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:35,709
So this thing with Moe,
is it serious?
340
00:14:35,709 --> 00:14:38,253
I'll let you know
after I get him
back to my hives.
341
00:14:38,253 --> 00:14:40,672
So what?
You take him to the hive,
fuck him and then--
342
00:14:40,672 --> 00:14:44,843
Preserve him in dried honey
and eat him later?
343
00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:46,469
Yes, please.
344
00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:48,054
[Toy Man] Hello, lady.
345
00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:50,015
- Hi. [chuckles]
- Hope you're thirsty.
346
00:14:50,015 --> 00:14:52,517
And here's some cannolis
from the bar.
347
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:54,686
Ooh! You eat 'em, Moe.
348
00:14:54,686 --> 00:14:58,690
[giggles] I like my men juicy
and diabetic.
349
00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:01,484
Well, then, I guess
I'm just your type... Two.
350
00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:04,529
- [both laughing]
- Oh, I get it. I get it.
351
00:15:04,529 --> 00:15:08,491
How about we go
to my hive and I'll suck
your brains out?
352
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:10,201
Check, please.
353
00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:13,204
She means literally suck
your brains out, dummy.
354
00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:16,249
[sighs] That stupid man is
gonna get himself killed.
355
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:18,835
- Toy Man, you got a car?
- Kind of.
356
00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:23,048
Bane, loved your cool song.
You're looking very spiffy.
357
00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:25,133
[Bane] Uh, don't get
any ideas, Lex.
358
00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:26,843
The briefcase is mine.
359
00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,053
Why are you
so protective of it?
360
00:15:28,053 --> 00:15:30,263
I'm not a dummy.
I know what it is.
361
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,182
- The perfect accessory.
- The Anti-Life Equation.
362
00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:33,600
Wait, wait.
What was your thing?
363
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,560
Uh, nothing.
I said "the perfect accessory."
364
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:38,188
No we spoke at the same time
and said different things.
365
00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:39,731
And now you are trying
to cover.
366
00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:41,983
Bane. Bane! Bane.
367
00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:43,902
Why have we
never talked like this?
368
00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:45,862
Sexy buddy to buddy. [chuckles]
369
00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:49,699
Say, how would you like
a seat back at the big table,
370
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:51,284
The Legion of Doom?
371
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,787
There it is.
Not happening, Lex.
372
00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:55,580
I'm not dropping out.
373
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:59,459
And when I win,
I'll start my own legion
for only sexy people.
374
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,252
Eights and up.
375
00:16:01,252 --> 00:16:04,547
But, like, real eights.
Not Milwaukee eights. Ugh!
376
00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:09,010
I'm thinking of calling it,
The Legion of Damn!
377
00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:10,428
[hisses] Ow!
378
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:14,140
- [fanfare music playing]
- [crowd cheering]
379
00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:21,564
[crowd applauding]
380
00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:29,114
[music crescendoes, fades]
381
00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:31,491
What does it mean to be sexy?
382
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:34,828
Some say sexy is an attitude.
The dictionary says--
383
00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:37,997
It better say,
"Shut the fuck up,
and announce the winner,
384
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,457
or you're going home
in a hearse."
385
00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:43,211
And this year's
Sexiest Villain Alive is...
386
00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:44,504
- Beast Mode!
- [buzzer sounds]
387
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:45,964
Oh, yes, yes!
388
00:16:45,964 --> 00:16:48,133
[Lex grunts]
389
00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:49,843
- [Tawny grunts]
- [Beast Mode growls]
390
00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:51,344
Are you fucking kidding me?
391
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,805
Do they not see
my banging new look?
392
00:16:53,805 --> 00:16:55,849
This is bullshit.
393
00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:57,058
Oh! All right.
394
00:16:57,058 --> 00:16:58,852
Settle down. Wow!
395
00:16:58,852 --> 00:17:00,520
Uh, first I just wanna say
396
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,647
there are no losers
here tonight.
397
00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:05,650
Except for Lex and Bane,
398
00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:08,153
and the rest of you fuckers.
Whuppah!
399
00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:10,488
[villains growling]
400
00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:13,324
- Oh, don't cry, Lex.
- [glasses beep]
401
00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:14,993
Oh, wait, are those tears...
402
00:17:14,993 --> 00:17:16,578
- or just little pre-splooge.
- [robot hummingbirds whirring]
403
00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:18,747
Get it? 'Cause his head
looks like a dick?
404
00:17:18,747 --> 00:17:20,623
[Laff Trak laughing]
405
00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:23,543
[Beast Mode] The sickest burns
are the ones
I call "splainers."
406
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:28,089
As in "splain to me
why your head looks
like a dick."
407
00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:30,342
Who the fuck does
he think he is?
408
00:17:30,342 --> 00:17:31,926
Don't take the bait, Lex.
409
00:17:31,926 --> 00:17:34,054
You'll just look
like an asshole.
410
00:17:35,597 --> 00:17:37,766
[Moe] You've got
classy taste there, babe.
411
00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:39,351
Thank you. [chuckles]
412
00:17:39,351 --> 00:17:41,019
Now, if you'll excuse me,
413
00:17:41,019 --> 00:17:43,855
I think I'll slip
into an exoskeleton.
414
00:17:43,855 --> 00:17:45,273
They're more comfortable.
415
00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:48,443
So, listen.
416
00:17:48,443 --> 00:17:51,112
Uh, if you don't have
any plans Thursday,
417
00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:53,365
- my sister and her husband--
- Shut up!
418
00:17:53,365 --> 00:17:55,033
Too soon? I knew it.
419
00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:57,369
- It's just I'm 33--
- [shushing]
420
00:17:57,369 --> 00:17:58,578
- [Insect Queen trilling]
- [Moe] Oh, baby.
421
00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:00,330
Your antennas tickle.
[chuckles]
422
00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:02,540
Moe. Follow that
creepy laughing.
423
00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:05,460
[Moe] Whoa, baby.
That's a lotta honey.
424
00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:08,463
Moe, you dumb fuck.
What the hell?
425
00:18:11,216 --> 00:18:13,802
Stop! Change of plans.
426
00:18:13,802 --> 00:18:15,887
[chuckles] Stupid bug.
427
00:18:15,887 --> 00:18:18,556
You should've eaten my body
when you had the chance.
428
00:18:18,556 --> 00:18:23,311
Point is, Lex, no one loves you
and you will die alone.
429
00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:26,106
[laughs] That's actually
a pretty good one.
430
00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:28,149
What else? What else?
431
00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:31,778
What other stuff
about Lex fucking sucks?
432
00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:35,240
Well, I know we wanted
the award, Malice.
433
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,158
But perhaps
the real treasure was
434
00:18:37,158 --> 00:18:39,869
the friends we made
along the way--
435
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:41,121
I can't even say it.
436
00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:42,872
Yeah, I'm not friends
with losers.
437
00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:45,542
- Come on, Chessure.
- [Chessure hisses]
438
00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:47,752
[wings whirring]
439
00:18:47,752 --> 00:18:48,670
[robot hummingbird beeps]
440
00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:53,466
Lex Luthor?
441
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:57,429
- More like "Sex pooper."
Am I right?
- [all laughing]
442
00:18:57,429 --> 00:19:00,140
Guards, seize Beast Mode.
443
00:19:01,016 --> 00:19:02,851
Whuppah!
444
00:19:02,851 --> 00:19:03,893
[screaming]
445
00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:04,894
Whuppah!
446
00:19:04,894 --> 00:19:06,563
[yells]
447
00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:07,272
Whuppah!
448
00:19:07,272 --> 00:19:08,898
[grunts, groans]
449
00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:10,942
[Bane grunts]
450
00:19:10,942 --> 00:19:14,279
Get... Get away from me,
you stupid humblebirds.
451
00:19:14,279 --> 00:19:16,614
This is
my high fashion 'cessory.
452
00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:20,368
Enough! Stop fucking around
and get me Bane's briefcase.
453
00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:22,328
Hey, Bane. Quick question.
454
00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:24,706
Why are you hitting
yourself? Whuppah!
455
00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:26,041
[Bane grunting, yelping]
456
00:19:26,041 --> 00:19:30,170
This briefcase has brought me
nothing but despair!
457
00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:31,796
[groaning]
458
00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:33,381
[straining]
459
00:19:37,469 --> 00:19:38,720
[Glider grunts]
460
00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:41,139
[Chuck] Glider!
461
00:19:41,139 --> 00:19:43,725
She wants me. [grunts]
462
00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:47,062
Helen, I think it's time
for your annual eye exam.
463
00:19:47,062 --> 00:19:48,396
- Doctor?
- [Clayface] Yes!
464
00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:51,691
'Tis I. A board-certified
optometrist.
465
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:57,155
Born poor to blind parents,
he vowed one day
to find a cure--
466
00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:58,490
Just fucking get her
to look at it.
467
00:19:58,490 --> 00:20:00,158
You don't think
I know what that is?
468
00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:01,493
I'm not looking at it.
469
00:20:01,493 --> 00:20:02,911
Give me the briefcase.
470
00:20:02,911 --> 00:20:04,829
No, give me the briefcase.
471
00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:07,957
Nobody gets it,
until Helen uses this thing
to bring Chuck back.
472
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:10,919
Give me the briefcase, Lisa.
And I'll do what you want.
473
00:20:10,919 --> 00:20:13,505
She lies, Lisa.
Give me the briefcase.
474
00:20:13,505 --> 00:20:15,965
Uh-oh... Oh, God.
Don't make me--
475
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:17,384
Helen, Jesus Christ,
476
00:20:17,384 --> 00:20:19,177
give her what she wants
before she kills us all.
477
00:20:19,177 --> 00:20:21,096
She won't do that,
478
00:20:21,096 --> 00:20:22,347
- because it would kill
her precious Kite Man.
- [Beast Mode grunting]
479
00:20:22,347 --> 00:20:23,723
[Bane] She can't control it.
480
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,558
If she gets too stressed out,
she'll blow!
481
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:28,186
[sighs] Then allow me
to de-stress her.
482
00:20:28,186 --> 00:20:31,564
- Guards, initiate
ASMR playlist.
- [device beeps]
483
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:33,233
- [indistinct chittering]
- Golden Glider.
484
00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:37,362
The sound you barely hear is
a hamster nibbling on a melon.
485
00:20:37,362 --> 00:20:40,615
Something's different. I can--
486
00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:43,201
[Lex] It will relax you
against your will,
487
00:20:43,201 --> 00:20:45,870
rendering your powers useless.
488
00:20:46,996 --> 00:20:48,331
Well, this is new.
489
00:20:48,331 --> 00:20:49,833
I don't know, Lex.
490
00:20:49,833 --> 00:20:53,670
I'm feeling pretty relaxed
and yet in total control.
491
00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:55,797
- [thrilling music playing]
- [Lex] Uh...
492
00:20:55,797 --> 00:20:58,550
[Laff Trak laughing]
493
00:20:58,550 --> 00:21:00,260
- [beam trilling]
- [Laff Trak] Oh! Ow!
494
00:21:01,011 --> 00:21:02,095
Aw!
495
00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:04,347
Anyone else think
this is funny?
496
00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:06,808
[shots firing]
497
00:21:07,475 --> 00:21:08,768
[guard 1 screams]
498
00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:11,396
[thrilling music continues]
499
00:21:15,025 --> 00:21:15,942
[guard 2 screaming]
500
00:21:19,237 --> 00:21:20,697
[guards grunting]
501
00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:22,157
[both screaming]
502
00:21:22,157 --> 00:21:25,410
[Helen gasps, yelps]
503
00:21:25,410 --> 00:21:28,747
Wait. Don't melt me.
I'll look at the damn thing.
504
00:21:28,747 --> 00:21:31,041
Now close your left eye,
which is better?
505
00:21:31,041 --> 00:21:32,167
- One or--
- Clayface!
506
00:21:32,167 --> 00:21:33,460
We'll call it two.
507
00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:35,712
[device trilling]
508
00:21:37,714 --> 00:21:39,758
[Beast Mode grunting]
509
00:21:41,092 --> 00:21:43,595
What the shit? Someone is
in for a serious...
510
00:21:43,595 --> 00:21:45,513
[Kite Man] Kiss on the lips
for loving...
511
00:21:45,513 --> 00:21:46,973
[Beast Mode] My huge dick...
512
00:21:46,973 --> 00:21:48,683
And I... [stutters] I'm...
513
00:21:48,683 --> 00:21:51,102
[Kite Man] ...going
away forever!
514
00:21:51,102 --> 00:21:52,645
Goodbye, Beast Mode.
515
00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:54,939
- [glass shatters]
- No!
516
00:21:56,941 --> 00:21:58,610
Chuck, is that you?
517
00:21:58,610 --> 00:22:01,196
Hell, yeah.
Uh, what did I miss?
518
00:22:01,196 --> 00:22:03,198
This... Muah!
519
00:22:03,198 --> 00:22:04,324
And this...
520
00:22:05,116 --> 00:22:06,951
And this!
521
00:22:06,951 --> 00:22:08,995
[heroic music playing]
522
00:22:12,248 --> 00:22:14,668
So does he still get the award?
523
00:22:16,628 --> 00:22:18,797
[theme music playing]
524
00:22:44,489 --> 00:22:46,658
♪ Hell, yeah! ♪