1 00:00:19,979 --> 00:00:22,774 [dramatic tone] 2 00:00:22,774 --> 00:00:26,319 You know, um, I'm ready to be a dad. 3 00:00:26,319 --> 00:00:30,490 I've been thinking about it, and I think it's finally time. 4 00:00:30,490 --> 00:00:32,492 It's all I've ever wanted since I was little. 5 00:00:32,492 --> 00:00:34,827 And I can't keep waiting to meet the right girl, you know? 6 00:00:34,827 --> 00:00:36,579 I gotta take action. I gotta take charge. 7 00:00:36,579 --> 00:00:38,706 I gotta do this myself 'cause it's for me, right? 8 00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:41,584 So I just... 9 00:00:41,584 --> 00:00:43,252 think I'm ready to have a little Petey. 10 00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:44,545 What do you think? 11 00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,130 You're getting very good at this. 12 00:00:47,340 --> 00:00:50,551 I almost believed 13 00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:52,887 that you believed the line of shit you were giving me. 14 00:00:52,887 --> 00:00:55,223 Is it that crazy that I want to be a dad? 15 00:00:55,223 --> 00:00:56,682 - Yeah, Peter. - Why? 16 00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:59,477 Because every guy who has a family, 17 00:00:59,477 --> 00:01:01,437 he's fuckin' fantasizing about having your life. 18 00:01:01,437 --> 00:01:02,855 - That's why we hate you. - We? 19 00:01:02,855 --> 00:01:04,315 You know I love you, but if I could, 20 00:01:04,315 --> 00:01:05,608 I'd kill you and wear your skin 21 00:01:05,608 --> 00:01:07,902 just so I could bang supermodels. 22 00:01:07,902 --> 00:01:10,571 I just--I just wanna be there for a child. 23 00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,448 - I wanna have a child. - Okay, take mine. 24 00:01:12,448 --> 00:01:13,741 And she'll do it for the checkmark. 25 00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:15,868 I don't want Angela. I want my own fresh one. 26 00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,370 - I wanna dress it all swaggy. - All right. All right. 27 00:01:17,370 --> 00:01:18,621 Okay, listen to me, can we please talk about this 28 00:01:18,621 --> 00:01:19,831 when you're not being a drug addict? 29 00:01:19,831 --> 00:01:22,792 User, Uncle Tom. I'm a drug user, okay? 30 00:01:22,792 --> 00:01:23,960 And maybe if I had a kid, 31 00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:25,294 hey, maybe I wouldn't use drugs so much. 32 00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:27,130 Maybe it'll teach me to channel my inner chaos 33 00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:28,297 and give my life meaning or some shit. 34 00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:29,716 - I don't know. - Bro, what the fuck 35 00:01:29,716 --> 00:01:31,718 are you talking about? Look at me. I'm a dad. 36 00:01:31,718 --> 00:01:34,637 Do I look like my life has meaning? 37 00:01:34,637 --> 00:01:36,389 Pete, you're not ready, okay? 38 00:01:36,389 --> 00:01:38,975 You can't just go and have a family, okay? 39 00:01:38,975 --> 00:01:40,560 That means no more partying, no more drugs, 40 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,311 no more drinking, no more friends. 41 00:01:42,311 --> 00:01:44,355 You can't have friends. 42 00:01:44,355 --> 00:01:46,107 Have you ever seen me with a friend? 43 00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:50,778 No jets to Turks and Belize or whatever the fuck. 44 00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:52,905 Look, I know you dream about killing yourself. 45 00:01:52,905 --> 00:01:54,449 That's out the window. 46 00:01:54,449 --> 00:01:55,992 I don't know what else to do, Uncle Tommy, okay? 47 00:01:55,992 --> 00:01:57,368 I've done everything. 48 00:01:57,368 --> 00:01:58,453 I'm fuckin' running out of options, all right? 49 00:01:58,453 --> 00:01:59,787 And I talked to my-- [hammer clanging] 50 00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:01,205 I talked to my therapist, and my therapist thinks 51 00:02:01,205 --> 00:02:02,331 that it's a good idea. 52 00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:04,000 - It may be healthy for me. - Oh, yeah? 53 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,877 - You know, yeah. - Well, your therapist needs, 54 00:02:05,877 --> 00:02:08,296 like, a fucking kick in the balls, okay? 55 00:02:08,296 --> 00:02:11,007 Nobody ever had their life become better 56 00:02:11,007 --> 00:02:12,091 because they had kids. 57 00:02:12,091 --> 00:02:15,178 Fuck. 58 00:02:15,178 --> 00:02:17,180 Is that crooked? 59 00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:18,639 Yeah, a little. Yeah, yeah. 60 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,892 Ah, fuck. That's two weeks of my life. 61 00:02:20,892 --> 00:02:22,310 Here. Take it. 62 00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:23,561 Just be careful with it. The handle's sharp. 63 00:02:23,561 --> 00:02:24,896 Oh, both are sharp. 64 00:02:24,896 --> 00:02:26,189 - Hey. - Yeah? 65 00:02:26,189 --> 00:02:28,733 Never forget. 66 00:02:28,733 --> 00:02:30,443 1992. 67 00:02:30,443 --> 00:02:32,528 - Sexiest Man on Staten Island. - That's right. 68 00:02:32,528 --> 00:02:35,573 Paul Montello and Kyle Hennesy. 69 00:02:35,573 --> 00:02:37,617 - Never forget. - Never forget. 70 00:02:37,617 --> 00:02:39,577 This guy doesn't know what the hell he's talking about. 71 00:02:39,577 --> 00:02:42,538 Having a baby would solve all of your problems. 72 00:02:42,538 --> 00:02:43,956 Did you tell him about how it would, 73 00:02:43,956 --> 00:02:45,666 like, channel your chaos? 74 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,126 It would give your life meaning? 75 00:02:47,126 --> 00:02:48,378 Yeah, I told him exactly that. 76 00:02:48,378 --> 00:02:50,380 I don't think he knows what he's talking about. 77 00:02:50,380 --> 00:02:52,090 So do you know who you'd like to have it with? 78 00:02:52,090 --> 00:02:53,424 Is there somebody special? 79 00:02:53,424 --> 00:02:54,675 Well, I think I'm just gonna have it myself, 80 00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,552 but Nikki said she'd, you know, 81 00:02:56,552 --> 00:02:58,638 - sell me one of her eggs, so... - Sell? 82 00:02:58,638 --> 00:03:00,390 Yeah, well, you know, she went to Harvard, so it's-- 83 00:03:00,390 --> 00:03:02,850 it's like a-- it's an elite egg. 84 00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,268 I don't know, if you're gonna buy the eggs, 85 00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:06,896 you might as well go big. 86 00:03:06,896 --> 00:03:08,606 Kelly Clarkson. Oh, my God. 87 00:03:08,606 --> 00:03:11,734 That baby would be so talented! Can you imagine? 88 00:03:11,734 --> 00:03:14,737 She's sing and, you know, do other things. 89 00:03:14,737 --> 00:03:15,863 Yeah, I don't think we need to worry 90 00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:16,989 about the egg right now. 91 00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:19,492 I think we gotta find a-- a load holder. 92 00:03:19,492 --> 00:03:20,827 It's called a surrogate, honey. 93 00:03:20,827 --> 00:03:22,620 Yes, and I can take care of that for you very easy. 94 00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:25,206 - You're the surrogate, yeah. - [squeals] 95 00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:27,750 Oh, Peter, we're having a baby. 96 00:03:27,750 --> 00:03:29,585 - We're having a baby. - Mm-hmm. 97 00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:32,130 - I'm so excited. - Yeah. 98 00:03:32,130 --> 00:03:34,132 * Ain't nothin' like hip-hop music ♪ 99 00:03:34,132 --> 00:03:36,134 ♪ You like it 'cause you choose it ♪ 100 00:03:36,134 --> 00:03:38,553 So, like, would I be able to tell her eventually? 101 00:03:38,553 --> 00:03:40,096 Like, before the end of my life? 102 00:03:40,096 --> 00:03:42,181 {\an8}Like, we just wait until the most dramatic moment possible, 103 00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:43,474 {\an8}like I'm on my deathbed. 104 00:03:43,474 --> 00:03:45,184 {\an8}And I just, like, grab her face, 105 00:03:45,184 --> 00:03:47,729 {\an8}and I'm like, "I'm your mom." 106 00:03:47,729 --> 00:03:50,565 {\an8}[imitates flatlining] So dramatic. 107 00:03:50,565 --> 00:03:52,650 {\an8}No, it wouldn't be a secret. You could tell her. 108 00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:55,236 {\an8}Okay, so I'd be, like, the semi-present fun dad? 109 00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:56,612 {\an8}I always wanted to be the fun dad. 110 00:03:56,612 --> 00:03:58,197 - Yeah. - Though it might not be 111 00:03:58,197 --> 00:03:59,365 the best time to have a baby. 112 00:03:59,365 --> 00:04:01,617 I'm kind of a caregiver already right now 113 00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:03,870 because my brother has that really intense fetish 114 00:04:03,870 --> 00:04:05,329 for deadbeat moms. 115 00:04:05,329 --> 00:04:06,748 He can't fuckin' help himself, huh? 116 00:04:06,748 --> 00:04:08,958 No, and this kid's mom is on this, like, 117 00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:11,627 "spiritual journey" right now, which is just a fancy way 118 00:04:11,627 --> 00:04:14,005 of saying she's in Costa Rica doing ayahuasca, 119 00:04:14,005 --> 00:04:15,631 shitting her brains out into a bucket. 120 00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:18,092 - So sad. - It's actually so tragic. 121 00:04:18,092 --> 00:04:19,802 People don't know you can do ayahuasca in Queens. 122 00:04:19,802 --> 00:04:21,471 Come on, this is about the kid. 123 00:04:21,471 --> 00:04:23,014 - She's eight years old. - Eight? 124 00:04:23,014 --> 00:04:24,724 Which means she gets why it's so fucked up, 125 00:04:24,724 --> 00:04:27,727 but she also just, like, really needs a mom, you know? 126 00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:31,647 Well, then let's-- let's, um... 127 00:04:31,647 --> 00:04:33,900 Let's do something fun for her. Uh, I don't know. 128 00:04:33,900 --> 00:04:36,110 Could we take her to, like, an amusement park or some shit? 129 00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:37,487 She would love that so much. 130 00:04:37,487 --> 00:04:40,073 Okay, cool. Let's do it. 131 00:04:40,073 --> 00:04:42,575 Wow, Pete, you're being, like, parental right now. 132 00:04:42,575 --> 00:04:43,743 It's kind of hot. 133 00:04:46,162 --> 00:04:49,540 You wanna just fuck here and save me 80 grand? 134 00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:51,667 Oh, for sure. No, we should totally do that. 135 00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:53,169 Like, should we go to the bathroom right now? 136 00:04:53,169 --> 00:04:55,046 You're a dick. 137 00:04:56,214 --> 00:04:57,965 You want me to have my brother's baby? 138 00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:00,176 No, honey. It's--it's not your egg. 139 00:05:00,176 --> 00:05:02,762 You would just carry it, so there's no incest. 140 00:05:02,762 --> 00:05:04,847 You think I should just give over my body for nine months 141 00:05:04,847 --> 00:05:07,016 like a brood mare just to help Pete ruin two lives? 142 00:05:07,016 --> 00:05:09,560 I think having a baby would really focus him. 143 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:11,813 Okay, it's a baby, not a fidget spinner. 144 00:05:11,813 --> 00:05:14,857 Look, I feel like our family has been coming apart, right? 145 00:05:14,857 --> 00:05:17,860 And a baby is a great way to keep a family together. 146 00:05:17,860 --> 00:05:20,113 I don't even know what to say. 147 00:05:20,113 --> 00:05:21,531 You've caught Pete's insanity. 148 00:05:21,531 --> 00:05:23,032 Please. Don't be so dramatic. 149 00:05:23,032 --> 00:05:25,368 It's one baby. 150 00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:26,869 Unless it's two. 151 00:05:26,869 --> 00:05:29,205 Oh, my God, twins. I'm gonna pass out. 152 00:05:29,205 --> 00:05:31,582 [laughs] That's too exciting. 153 00:05:31,582 --> 00:05:34,752 - [phone ringing] - Hey, Poppy. 154 00:05:34,752 --> 00:05:36,713 Peter, I'm in the studio with Roy. 155 00:05:36,713 --> 00:05:38,631 He's making a calendar for Borgie for me. 156 00:05:38,631 --> 00:05:40,800 Hey, Peter. Borgie, Borgie, Borgie. 157 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,051 - Get me the cowboy hat. - Now he's gonna be a cowboy. 158 00:05:42,051 --> 00:05:43,428 - Fucking hilarious. - Hilarious. 159 00:05:43,428 --> 00:05:44,887 I gotta go. You guys are nuts. 160 00:05:44,887 --> 00:05:46,431 - What else is he gonna be? - Look at the hat! 161 00:05:46,431 --> 00:05:48,182 Here he comes. 162 00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:50,685 Are you excited? 163 00:05:52,562 --> 00:05:55,898 [coughing] 164 00:05:56,941 --> 00:05:59,360 - Hi. - Yo, what's up, my little G? 165 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:00,611 - You brought the crew. - Yeah. 166 00:06:00,611 --> 00:06:02,029 Well, you know, it takes a village. 167 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:04,240 I'm being fun dad. We can both be fun dads. 168 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:05,408 Okay. 169 00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:07,452 Um, well, Anna, this is Pete. 170 00:06:07,452 --> 00:06:09,078 - Hi. I'm Pete. - Hi, Pete. 171 00:06:09,078 --> 00:06:11,706 Pete was able to get us front-of-the-line passes today. 172 00:06:11,706 --> 00:06:13,499 You have very big teeth. 173 00:06:13,499 --> 00:06:14,792 Get in the car. 174 00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:16,753 Ah. 175 00:06:16,753 --> 00:06:19,005 Not what I had in mind. What the fuck? 176 00:06:19,005 --> 00:06:21,299 What? I'm trying to have fun. 177 00:06:21,591 --> 00:06:24,510 - Hey, Nikki. [laughs] - Sick outfit. 178 00:06:24,510 --> 00:06:25,720 You know you can't smoke in here, right, 179 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:26,929 'cause we're with child? 180 00:06:26,929 --> 00:06:28,389 We goin' to Action Land sober? 181 00:06:28,389 --> 00:06:29,599 What is this, a church retreat? 182 00:06:29,599 --> 00:06:31,225 I'm on pills, my G. 183 00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:33,561 Uh, is it okay if Crillz plays his music? 184 00:06:33,561 --> 00:06:34,771 Oh, yeah, she can't hear shit 185 00:06:34,771 --> 00:06:36,022 in these noise-cancelling headphones. 186 00:06:36,022 --> 00:06:38,149 All right. [hip-hop music playing] 187 00:06:38,149 --> 00:06:39,734 Let's go! 188 00:06:39,734 --> 00:06:41,694 I have the perfect person to play opposite you 189 00:06:41,694 --> 00:06:42,945 as the ten-gallon hat man. 190 00:06:42,945 --> 00:06:45,698 What you think about Ethan Hawke? 191 00:06:45,698 --> 00:06:49,285 ♪ ♪ 192 00:06:49,285 --> 00:06:50,620 This is gonna be fun, man. 193 00:06:50,620 --> 00:06:52,205 This is, like, my first time 194 00:06:52,205 --> 00:06:53,790 I get to, like, practice being a dad. 195 00:06:53,790 --> 00:06:55,166 - It's pretty cool, right? - Yeah. 196 00:06:55,166 --> 00:06:57,001 - [laughs] - What? 197 00:06:57,001 --> 00:06:58,378 Oh, you were serious about that? 198 00:06:58,378 --> 00:06:59,670 Yeah. 199 00:07:00,963 --> 00:07:02,048 Okay. 200 00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:03,925 ♪ Makin' moves ♪ 201 00:07:03,925 --> 00:07:05,009 ♪ I know it hurts ♪ 202 00:07:09,889 --> 00:07:12,850 [upbeat music] 203 00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:18,189 ♪ ♪ 204 00:07:18,189 --> 00:07:19,857 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 205 00:07:19,857 --> 00:07:22,276 What the fuck is he doing here? 206 00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:24,278 - Pete. - Gill. 207 00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:26,739 - What's up, dude? - What up, man? 208 00:07:26,739 --> 00:07:28,074 Hey, thank you. 209 00:07:28,074 --> 00:07:29,242 Thanks for giving me another chance. 210 00:07:29,242 --> 00:07:30,243 Don't worry about it, man. 211 00:07:30,243 --> 00:07:31,369 Now, just so you know, 212 00:07:31,369 --> 00:07:32,578 things are a little different now. 213 00:07:32,578 --> 00:07:33,704 You're on probation. 214 00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:35,331 That's fine. That makes perfect sense. 215 00:07:35,331 --> 00:07:37,083 - Thank you. - Hey, come on. 216 00:07:37,083 --> 00:07:38,751 Put your phone in the bag. 217 00:07:38,751 --> 00:07:40,461 - What? - You heard him. 218 00:07:40,461 --> 00:07:42,296 Put the phone in the Yondr bag. 219 00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:44,424 - Come on, guys. - What you need your phone for? 220 00:07:44,424 --> 00:07:45,800 I knew you guys were gonna be dickheads. 221 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:47,427 None of your friends here. Your family hates you. 222 00:07:47,427 --> 00:07:49,345 - You right here. - I hate you guys. 223 00:07:49,345 --> 00:07:50,972 - I've always hated you two. - Feeling's mutual. 224 00:07:50,972 --> 00:07:52,140 You know what? I'm done. 225 00:07:52,140 --> 00:07:54,684 This nigga's dizzy. I'm out of here. 226 00:07:54,684 --> 00:08:01,107 ♪ ♪ 227 00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:05,111 All right, Anna, what ride do you wanna go on first? 228 00:08:05,111 --> 00:08:06,446 You can do anything you want. 229 00:08:06,446 --> 00:08:08,823 We're doing everything you want today. 230 00:08:08,823 --> 00:08:10,575 Uh, whatever you guys want. 231 00:08:10,575 --> 00:08:13,786 - Thanks again for taking me. - Whatever. 232 00:08:13,786 --> 00:08:15,663 Okay, well... 233 00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:19,167 Hey, how about the Fireball? 234 00:08:19,167 --> 00:08:22,295 - That one's pretty wild. - Ooh. 235 00:08:22,295 --> 00:08:24,297 That one sounds scary. 236 00:08:24,297 --> 00:08:26,340 How about the Whippersnapper to get the party started? 237 00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:28,551 - Whippersnapper? - I don't know. 238 00:08:28,551 --> 00:08:32,221 My G, some people think the Whippersnapper's kinda gay, 239 00:08:32,221 --> 00:08:35,141 but it's actually one of the best rides in the park. 240 00:08:37,602 --> 00:08:38,811 Crill. 241 00:08:38,811 --> 00:08:39,896 Anna. [clears throat] 242 00:08:39,896 --> 00:08:42,815 When Crilly says that something is gay, 243 00:08:42,815 --> 00:08:45,109 he doesn't mean it in, like, a homophobic way. 244 00:08:45,109 --> 00:08:48,071 He just means that it's, like, the worst thing in the world. 245 00:08:48,071 --> 00:08:50,239 Exactly. 246 00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:51,699 - What? - Guys. 247 00:08:51,699 --> 00:08:53,242 - What? - Let's just--let's move on. 248 00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:54,327 That's how he meant it. 249 00:08:54,327 --> 00:08:55,828 Jesus, Pete. Nice parenting. 250 00:08:55,828 --> 00:08:57,497 Pete, it's awesome to see you with this kid, man. 251 00:08:57,497 --> 00:08:59,290 You're gonna be a great father someday. 252 00:08:59,290 --> 00:09:01,334 I bet your dead daddy's looking down on us right now, 253 00:09:01,334 --> 00:09:02,919 proud as hell of you. I love it. 254 00:09:02,919 --> 00:09:04,670 - Thanks, man. - No problem. 255 00:09:04,670 --> 00:09:06,339 We better go catch up. 256 00:09:06,339 --> 00:09:08,424 Layin' the cheese pretty thick, don't you think? 257 00:09:08,424 --> 00:09:10,843 - You little rat. - Fuck you, dude. 258 00:09:10,843 --> 00:09:12,720 [upbeat swing music] 259 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:16,599 * Just walking in the sunshine ♪ 260 00:09:16,599 --> 00:09:19,018 ♪ With my buddy, little buddy ♪ 261 00:09:19,018 --> 00:09:21,104 Hello. Could I please get two regulars? 262 00:09:21,104 --> 00:09:22,563 - Sure. - Thanks. 263 00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:25,691 [phone chimes] 264 00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:28,861 Peter, we got the dog dressed as Sherlock Holmes. 265 00:09:28,861 --> 00:09:31,406 He's got the magnifying glass in his paw 266 00:09:31,406 --> 00:09:34,158 like he's about to solve a mystery. 267 00:09:34,158 --> 00:09:35,910 Who's gonna catch the murderer? 268 00:09:35,910 --> 00:09:37,829 Fuckin' hilarious! 269 00:09:47,046 --> 00:09:48,548 Hey. 270 00:09:48,548 --> 00:09:49,799 What are you doin' with the leaves? 271 00:09:49,799 --> 00:09:50,758 How's it going? 272 00:09:53,761 --> 00:09:55,722 [sighs] 273 00:09:55,722 --> 00:09:59,517 Hey, look, I know, um... 274 00:09:59,517 --> 00:10:03,312 I know you might not be seeing your mom for a little bit, uh, 275 00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:04,939 and that it must be really sad. 276 00:10:04,939 --> 00:10:07,775 And I can tell you, I kind of know what that's like. 277 00:10:07,775 --> 00:10:10,403 And just so you know, it's gonna be all right. 278 00:10:10,403 --> 00:10:12,905 I mean, you know, look how I turned out, right? 279 00:10:12,905 --> 00:10:15,742 No offense, but you seem like you have a lot of problems. 280 00:10:15,742 --> 00:10:17,326 [laughs] Okay. 281 00:10:17,326 --> 00:10:18,828 Why don't you eat your Dippin' Dots, all right? 282 00:10:23,458 --> 00:10:25,251 My mom's really not that great. 283 00:10:25,251 --> 00:10:26,836 I kind of hated living with her. 284 00:10:26,836 --> 00:10:28,921 [as Rodney Dangerfield] Tell me about it, okay? 285 00:10:28,921 --> 00:10:30,757 What's that? 286 00:10:30,757 --> 00:10:33,176 - It's Rodney Dangerfield. - Who? 287 00:10:33,176 --> 00:10:34,635 You don't know Rodney Dangerfield? 288 00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:36,596 [as Rodney Dangerfield] Hey, we're all gonna get laid. 289 00:10:36,596 --> 00:10:38,389 You remember that guy? He's a comedian. 290 00:10:38,389 --> 00:10:39,640 Who's your favorite comedian? 291 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:40,808 Addison Rae. 292 00:10:40,808 --> 00:10:43,352 Jesus. Fuck. 293 00:10:43,352 --> 00:10:45,772 Look, Anna, you know, I get it. 294 00:10:45,772 --> 00:10:49,233 Living with your mom could suck, you know? 295 00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:51,194 Don't you live with your mom? 296 00:10:51,194 --> 00:10:53,112 Hey, she lives with me, okay? 297 00:10:53,112 --> 00:10:55,114 Look, I pay the mortgage. 298 00:10:55,114 --> 00:10:56,491 All right? 299 00:10:59,827 --> 00:11:01,079 I hate my life. 300 00:11:01,079 --> 00:11:02,205 Hey. 301 00:11:02,205 --> 00:11:03,456 Hey, look at me. Don't say that. 302 00:11:03,456 --> 00:11:05,458 Don't say you hate your life, okay? 303 00:11:05,458 --> 00:11:07,585 Life is just really tough when you're a kid. 304 00:11:07,585 --> 00:11:10,463 Nobody tells you that, but being a kid sucks. 305 00:11:10,463 --> 00:11:12,090 It's really confusing, you know? 306 00:11:12,090 --> 00:11:14,717 And you might see kids with their parents together, 307 00:11:14,717 --> 00:11:16,010 and you think they have a happy life and everything. 308 00:11:16,010 --> 00:11:17,637 And yeah, they do right now, but you know what? 309 00:11:17,637 --> 00:11:19,347 It's gonna fizzle out after high school. 310 00:11:19,347 --> 00:11:20,848 They're all gonna do heroin in college. 311 00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:22,183 But not you. Not you. 312 00:11:22,183 --> 00:11:23,893 This is your origin story. 313 00:11:23,893 --> 00:11:26,104 You're a superhero. You are a warrior. 314 00:11:26,104 --> 00:11:27,271 I'm gonna call you Xena. 315 00:11:27,271 --> 00:11:28,898 You are Xena the Warrior Princess. 316 00:11:28,898 --> 00:11:30,316 You'll figure it out. 317 00:11:30,316 --> 00:11:31,818 So what you can't control things right now? 318 00:11:31,818 --> 00:11:33,236 That's fine. You're a kid. You're not supposed 319 00:11:33,236 --> 00:11:34,695 to be able to figure out how to control things. 320 00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:36,322 But you can control what makes you happy, 321 00:11:36,322 --> 00:11:37,615 who you have in your life. 322 00:11:37,615 --> 00:11:39,033 What do you like to do? Do you have hobbies? 323 00:11:39,033 --> 00:11:40,910 Do you have any friends? You must have tons of friends. 324 00:11:40,910 --> 00:11:42,203 You don't have any friends? 325 00:11:42,203 --> 00:11:43,663 Come on. I don't buy that. 326 00:11:43,663 --> 00:11:46,124 Okay, well, you have two now. How about that? 327 00:11:46,124 --> 00:11:47,291 Me and Nikki'll be your friends. 328 00:11:47,291 --> 00:11:49,335 Is that cool? You wanna be our friend? 329 00:11:49,335 --> 00:11:50,336 You wanna be part of our gang? 330 00:11:50,336 --> 00:11:52,004 [laughs] Yeah. 331 00:11:52,004 --> 00:11:54,173 Yeah? All right, my G. 332 00:11:54,173 --> 00:11:57,427 Finish your ice cream and we'll go on some rides, okay? 333 00:11:57,427 --> 00:12:03,933 ♪ ♪ 334 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:11,023 [bottles clatter] 335 00:12:11,023 --> 00:12:12,942 I saw you talking to Anna. 336 00:12:12,942 --> 00:12:14,360 That was really sweet. 337 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:15,570 Yeah, she's really sweet. 338 00:12:15,570 --> 00:12:17,196 And just--I feel bad, you know? 339 00:12:17,196 --> 00:12:19,365 She's, like, a kid. That shit sucks. 340 00:12:19,365 --> 00:12:20,533 I just--I don't even know 341 00:12:20,533 --> 00:12:21,826 if she's having a good time, you know? 342 00:12:21,826 --> 00:12:24,454 No, she's having a very fun time. 343 00:12:24,454 --> 00:12:26,330 You're actually, like, surprisingly good 344 00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:28,082 at this whole parent thing. 345 00:12:28,082 --> 00:12:29,876 - Really? - Yeah. 346 00:12:29,876 --> 00:12:31,878 I mean, it's probably 'cause you're so emotionally stunted, 347 00:12:31,878 --> 00:12:32,837 but... 348 00:12:34,672 --> 00:12:37,091 I wish a big, strong man would win me a teddy bear. 349 00:12:37,091 --> 00:12:38,801 You and me both, sweetheart. 350 00:12:38,801 --> 00:12:40,053 Huh? 351 00:12:40,053 --> 00:12:42,263 I said, three balls for $5, 352 00:12:42,263 --> 00:12:44,265 12 for 10. 353 00:12:44,265 --> 00:12:46,350 Hey, would it be possible to just, 354 00:12:46,350 --> 00:12:47,894 I don't know, buy one of the bears? 355 00:12:47,894 --> 00:12:50,772 Oh, you're one of those "how much can I buy it for" guys. 356 00:12:50,772 --> 00:12:52,815 Never earned a fucking thing in your life. 357 00:12:52,815 --> 00:12:54,734 - What? - The bear's worth nothing. 358 00:12:54,734 --> 00:12:57,236 The victory and excitement of winning the bear-- 359 00:12:57,236 --> 00:12:58,488 priceless. 360 00:12:58,488 --> 00:13:01,824 These bears have been in these rafters 361 00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:03,034 for 20 years. 362 00:13:03,034 --> 00:13:04,243 20. 363 00:13:04,243 --> 00:13:05,661 [dramatic music] 364 00:13:05,661 --> 00:13:08,081 Come on. Don't be a pussy. 365 00:13:08,081 --> 00:13:09,248 Fuckin'... 366 00:13:09,248 --> 00:13:10,583 How's a G sound, huh? 367 00:13:10,583 --> 00:13:12,418 - A G sounds great. - Let's go. 368 00:13:12,418 --> 00:13:15,380 Fuck. Now we're fuckin' talking. 369 00:13:15,380 --> 00:13:17,173 [bottles clattering] 370 00:13:17,173 --> 00:13:18,549 - Oh, shit! - Oh, my God! 371 00:13:18,549 --> 00:13:20,343 - Whoo! - Fuck! 372 00:13:20,343 --> 00:13:22,136 Forgot to spray the bottles down. 373 00:13:22,136 --> 00:13:23,304 - What? - What? 374 00:13:26,516 --> 00:13:29,102 - Oh, my God. - What the fuck? 375 00:13:29,102 --> 00:13:30,436 [engine starts] 376 00:13:30,436 --> 00:13:32,146 - What the fuck? - What? 377 00:13:32,146 --> 00:13:33,439 Whoa! Hey, hey! 378 00:13:33,439 --> 00:13:35,441 Oh, guys, I'm sorry. 379 00:13:35,441 --> 00:13:37,568 I was just in the bathroom doing some schneef. 380 00:13:37,568 --> 00:13:38,653 All right. Here we go. 381 00:13:38,653 --> 00:13:41,447 Bottle down. Three balls for $5. 382 00:13:41,447 --> 00:13:43,282 - All right? - The guy... 383 00:13:43,282 --> 00:13:44,283 There was another guy. 384 00:13:44,283 --> 00:13:45,827 Listen, forget about that. 385 00:13:45,827 --> 00:13:48,663 I can give you the bear for $20. 386 00:13:48,663 --> 00:13:49,914 How 'bout some schneef? 387 00:13:49,914 --> 00:13:51,749 It's $20 for schneef. 388 00:13:51,749 --> 00:13:55,002 I can put the schneef in the bear. $40. 389 00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:56,337 So what do you say? 390 00:13:56,337 --> 00:13:58,005 You want the schneef-filled bear? 391 00:13:58,005 --> 00:13:59,090 Yeah. 392 00:13:59,090 --> 00:14:01,050 Can I come? both: No. 393 00:14:01,050 --> 00:14:02,343 I went too far? 394 00:14:02,343 --> 00:14:03,636 - A little bit, yeah. - Yeah? All right. 395 00:14:03,636 --> 00:14:05,138 - Take the fuckin' bear. - Thanks. 396 00:14:05,138 --> 00:14:06,806 Fuck off. 397 00:14:06,806 --> 00:14:08,516 [both giggle] 398 00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:11,853 Thank you. 399 00:14:11,853 --> 00:14:14,480 So I was thinking, why risk it? 400 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:16,816 Why roll the dice when I already know 401 00:14:16,816 --> 00:14:20,570 the best womb a baby could want? 402 00:14:20,570 --> 00:14:23,364 Yeah. I mean, quick question. 403 00:14:23,364 --> 00:14:24,949 Does Pete know that you're here? 404 00:14:24,949 --> 00:14:26,909 I mean, we broke up a really long time ago. 405 00:14:26,909 --> 00:14:29,495 I feel like this would give him a full panic attack. 406 00:14:29,495 --> 00:14:30,788 No, he doesn't know. 407 00:14:30,788 --> 00:14:32,623 But I don't think he even realizes 408 00:14:32,623 --> 00:14:34,083 how perfect this would be. 409 00:14:34,083 --> 00:14:36,169 Honestly, the thought of him wanting a baby this bad 410 00:14:36,169 --> 00:14:38,838 that he would do it by himself is kind of breaking my heart. 411 00:14:40,631 --> 00:14:43,426 God, I forgot what a sweet girl you are. 412 00:14:43,426 --> 00:14:44,761 You are an angel. 413 00:14:44,761 --> 00:14:46,554 [laughs] 414 00:14:46,554 --> 00:14:48,264 You know what? You're right. 415 00:14:48,264 --> 00:14:50,349 You should not be the surrogate. 416 00:14:50,349 --> 00:14:51,684 Why not? 417 00:14:51,684 --> 00:14:53,686 - You should be his wife. - Yeah. 418 00:14:53,686 --> 00:14:55,354 - I'm sold. I'm in. - Okay. 419 00:14:55,354 --> 00:14:58,232 I choose you. Aw. 420 00:14:58,232 --> 00:15:00,526 - You know I have a boyfriend. - Yeah, I know. 421 00:15:00,526 --> 00:15:02,236 Well, it can't be serious. 422 00:15:02,236 --> 00:15:03,780 - I don't see a ring. - It is. 423 00:15:03,780 --> 00:15:05,239 We've been together over a year. 424 00:15:05,239 --> 00:15:06,365 - Does he love you? - Yeah. 425 00:15:06,365 --> 00:15:07,700 Do you love him? 426 00:15:07,700 --> 00:15:09,744 Yeah. I mean, it's serious. 427 00:15:09,744 --> 00:15:11,370 We have a dog together. 428 00:15:11,370 --> 00:15:14,248 Would he leave you for $10,000? 429 00:15:14,248 --> 00:15:16,125 - What? - I'm just saying. 430 00:15:16,125 --> 00:15:18,711 You don't want to throw away an opportunity like this 431 00:15:18,711 --> 00:15:21,756 if he would be willing to dump you for 15 grand. 432 00:15:22,465 --> 00:15:24,050 He wouldn't. He wouldn't. 433 00:15:24,050 --> 00:15:26,135 I don't know. Let's find out. 434 00:15:26,135 --> 00:15:29,931 What does he want more: you or $25,000? 435 00:15:30,807 --> 00:15:31,974 Okay. 436 00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:33,101 What's the number? 437 00:15:34,435 --> 00:15:37,063 [carnival music] 438 00:15:37,063 --> 00:15:39,774 ♪ ♪ 439 00:15:39,774 --> 00:15:40,691 Hey. 440 00:15:40,691 --> 00:15:42,360 What's up, guys? Where's Anna? 441 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:43,861 I thought she was with you. 442 00:15:43,861 --> 00:15:46,489 - You guys were watching her. - Oh, shit. 443 00:15:46,489 --> 00:15:48,324 Wh--I don't-- I don't see her anywhere. 444 00:15:48,324 --> 00:15:50,410 Guys, this is, like, the worst possible thing we can do. 445 00:15:50,410 --> 00:15:51,577 We lost her? 446 00:15:51,577 --> 00:15:53,079 - Anna! Anna! - Anna! 447 00:15:53,079 --> 00:15:55,081 Okay, okay, don't freak out and 448 00:15:55,081 --> 00:15:56,416 - make this about you, please. - What do you mean? 449 00:15:56,416 --> 00:15:57,542 She's probably around here somewhere. 450 00:15:57,542 --> 00:15:59,419 No, she's not. Fuck, this is so bad! 451 00:15:59,419 --> 00:16:01,421 Anna! Anna! 452 00:16:01,421 --> 00:16:02,588 - Anna! - Anna! 453 00:16:02,588 --> 00:16:03,673 Anna, get out here! 454 00:16:03,673 --> 00:16:04,882 Where you at, my little G? 455 00:16:04,882 --> 00:16:07,510 - Anna! Anna! - My G, where you at? 456 00:16:07,510 --> 00:16:09,053 She's not answering. Anna? 457 00:16:09,053 --> 00:16:10,179 See, this is why I need my phone. 458 00:16:10,179 --> 00:16:11,639 You guys took it. Psychos. 459 00:16:11,639 --> 00:16:12,932 No, man. No. 460 00:16:12,932 --> 00:16:14,267 You wouldn't find that kid with your phone. 461 00:16:14,267 --> 00:16:15,768 I find kids all the time with my phone, Derek. 462 00:16:15,768 --> 00:16:17,145 - Wow. - That's dark. 463 00:16:17,145 --> 00:16:18,813 I understand what's going on here. 464 00:16:18,813 --> 00:16:20,857 There's a white girl gone missing in this park. 465 00:16:20,857 --> 00:16:23,401 I'm getting the fuck out of here. 466 00:16:23,401 --> 00:16:25,069 You fucking asshole. 467 00:16:25,069 --> 00:16:27,572 I'm keeping the dog, you piece of shit. 468 00:16:27,572 --> 00:16:29,574 [sighs] 469 00:16:30,616 --> 00:16:32,827 Oh, honey. 470 00:16:32,827 --> 00:16:34,579 It's better you find out now. 471 00:16:34,579 --> 00:16:35,955 I mean, it's not true love if he's willing 472 00:16:35,955 --> 00:16:38,374 to throw it all away for 50 Gs. 473 00:16:38,374 --> 00:16:40,334 You're a terrible person. 474 00:16:40,334 --> 00:16:42,295 Oh, I see, your boyfriend leaves you for cash, 475 00:16:42,295 --> 00:16:43,796 and I'm the monster. 476 00:16:43,796 --> 00:16:47,592 Amy, you have all this energy and drive right now. 477 00:16:47,592 --> 00:16:49,427 It's going into a really dark place. 478 00:16:49,427 --> 00:16:52,263 You know how they say put the oxygen mask on yourself first? 479 00:16:52,263 --> 00:16:54,474 You act like you've gone a really long time 480 00:16:54,474 --> 00:16:56,100 with no oxygen. 481 00:16:57,602 --> 00:17:00,396 You ruined this cake for me. [sniffles] 482 00:17:00,396 --> 00:17:02,106 And it was my favorite cake. 483 00:17:05,902 --> 00:17:08,988 Anna? Anna! [phone chimes] 484 00:17:08,988 --> 00:17:11,074 We have him dressed as a banker now. 485 00:17:11,074 --> 00:17:13,284 He's the "woof" of Wall Street. 486 00:17:13,284 --> 00:17:14,535 - The wolf. - Fuckin' hilarious! 487 00:17:14,535 --> 00:17:15,995 - What are you doing? - Oh. 488 00:17:15,995 --> 00:17:17,997 We have to keep looking. Come on. 489 00:17:17,997 --> 00:17:19,999 Should be a spooky waste of time. Let's go. 490 00:17:19,999 --> 00:17:21,667 Yeah, maybe the little G went in here. 491 00:17:21,667 --> 00:17:22,835 All right. 492 00:17:22,835 --> 00:17:25,755 [intense spooky music] 493 00:17:25,755 --> 00:17:27,298 ♪ ♪ 494 00:17:27,298 --> 00:17:30,051 [humming] 495 00:17:31,844 --> 00:17:33,679 [growls] 496 00:17:33,679 --> 00:17:35,348 [continues humming] 497 00:17:35,348 --> 00:17:36,808 [claps] 498 00:17:36,808 --> 00:17:38,935 ♪ ♪ 499 00:17:38,935 --> 00:17:40,937 - [growls] - Aah! I fuckin' hate this! 500 00:17:45,817 --> 00:17:47,110 Argh! 501 00:17:47,110 --> 00:17:49,028 - Good night. - [grunts] 502 00:17:49,028 --> 00:17:51,322 Time to go to work. 503 00:17:51,322 --> 00:17:55,868 ♪ ♪ 504 00:17:55,868 --> 00:17:57,620 [growls] [chainsaw buzzing] 505 00:17:57,620 --> 00:17:58,788 [growls] 506 00:18:00,748 --> 00:18:04,961 Sweet dreams. 507 00:18:05,795 --> 00:18:08,756 Are any of these your kid? 508 00:18:08,756 --> 00:18:10,591 [dramatic tone] 509 00:18:10,591 --> 00:18:12,051 [cheerful music playing] 510 00:18:12,051 --> 00:18:13,845 [whispering] Get me outta here. 511 00:18:16,639 --> 00:18:18,641 Yo, you really fucked that wolf man up, dude. 512 00:18:18,641 --> 00:18:20,435 You got a solid right. 513 00:18:20,435 --> 00:18:21,936 We're not close like that. 514 00:18:21,936 --> 00:18:23,604 Pete forgives because he's an open soul, 515 00:18:23,604 --> 00:18:25,648 but it's my job to protect him from anything. 516 00:18:25,648 --> 00:18:27,275 You betrayed us. 517 00:18:27,275 --> 00:18:29,277 What, you guys never used Pete to try to get something? 518 00:18:29,277 --> 00:18:32,155 Pete's aura is a delicate ecosystem. 519 00:18:32,155 --> 00:18:34,907 It's an ecosystem that supports the life of all of us. 520 00:18:34,907 --> 00:18:36,743 And you fucked with that ecosystem. 521 00:18:36,743 --> 00:18:37,910 You're an existential threat. 522 00:18:37,910 --> 00:18:39,579 I've seen guys like you before. 523 00:18:39,579 --> 00:18:41,080 In and out in six months. 524 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,416 Free weed. Supreme hoodies. 525 00:18:43,416 --> 00:18:45,543 Enjoy it while it lasts, 'cause at the end of the day, 526 00:18:45,543 --> 00:18:47,128 - the couch is mine. - Hey! 527 00:18:47,128 --> 00:18:48,588 - What the fuck is your problem? - Oh, shit, Crilly, look out! 528 00:18:48,588 --> 00:18:49,922 [grunts] 529 00:18:49,922 --> 00:18:52,258 - [thuds] - Oh, shit. 530 00:18:52,258 --> 00:18:54,052 Knocked the dust out that zombie. 531 00:18:54,052 --> 00:18:55,928 Matter of fact, run his pockets. 532 00:18:55,928 --> 00:18:57,805 - And you... - Huh? 533 00:18:57,805 --> 00:18:59,140 - You're back in. - Huh. 534 00:18:59,140 --> 00:19:00,600 - You're my G for life, bro. - Did you see that? 535 00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:02,226 Come here. 536 00:19:02,226 --> 00:19:03,936 But if you ever cross Pete again, 537 00:19:03,936 --> 00:19:05,104 you're fuckin' dead. 538 00:19:05,104 --> 00:19:07,231 You ever cross Pete, you're dead. 539 00:19:08,608 --> 00:19:10,610 - Yeah, boy. - Yeah. 540 00:19:10,610 --> 00:19:11,944 Come here. 541 00:19:11,944 --> 00:19:13,863 - Let's go get some popcorn. - Yeah. 542 00:19:15,490 --> 00:19:18,743 - Anna! - Anna! 543 00:19:18,743 --> 00:19:19,869 Anna! 544 00:19:19,869 --> 00:19:21,454 Oh, my God. There she is. 545 00:19:21,454 --> 00:19:23,122 Anna! 546 00:19:23,122 --> 00:19:25,458 - Where have you been? - I got hungry. 547 00:19:25,458 --> 00:19:27,251 Where did you go? I was so worried about you. 548 00:19:27,251 --> 00:19:28,961 You can never do that again, okay? 549 00:19:28,961 --> 00:19:30,129 Do you know what could have happened to you? 550 00:19:30,129 --> 00:19:32,632 - Have you seen "SVU"? - No. 551 00:19:32,632 --> 00:19:34,342 Hey, my G. 552 00:19:34,342 --> 00:19:37,011 Oh, you three show up just when the problem's solved. 553 00:19:37,011 --> 00:19:39,389 - Awesome. - Pete, you found the kid? 554 00:19:39,389 --> 00:19:41,182 Incredible, dude. You're a legend. 555 00:19:41,182 --> 00:19:42,975 - Thanks, man. - Hey, can we go home now? 556 00:19:42,975 --> 00:19:44,310 I mean, we found the little white girl, 557 00:19:44,310 --> 00:19:45,937 so we should probably leave the casino 558 00:19:45,937 --> 00:19:47,105 while we're still up. 559 00:19:47,105 --> 00:19:48,272 No, we can't go yet 560 00:19:48,272 --> 00:19:50,024 'cause Anna hasn't been on any rides. 561 00:19:50,024 --> 00:19:51,609 I mean, this day's all about you, right? 562 00:19:51,609 --> 00:19:53,820 We gotta take you on a ride. What's your favorite ride? 563 00:19:53,820 --> 00:19:55,363 Princess Coaster. 564 00:19:55,363 --> 00:19:57,240 But it's closed. 565 00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:59,826 Okay, well, how about we go on my favorite ride? 566 00:19:59,826 --> 00:20:01,160 Turbulence. 567 00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:03,121 - Is it scary? - No. 568 00:20:03,121 --> 00:20:04,914 Not at all. Not for you. 569 00:20:04,914 --> 00:20:07,166 - I might go on it. - Good. 570 00:20:07,166 --> 00:20:08,418 I think you should go on it. You know why? 571 00:20:08,418 --> 00:20:10,169 'Cause remember when we were talking earlier 572 00:20:10,169 --> 00:20:11,546 and you weren't feeling so hot 573 00:20:11,546 --> 00:20:13,005 and I said that you're a strong superhero 574 00:20:13,005 --> 00:20:14,465 and you're a super warrior? 575 00:20:14,465 --> 00:20:16,676 When you go on a ride like this that you're afraid of, 576 00:20:16,676 --> 00:20:19,429 when you go on, you're gonna feel so good about yourself. 577 00:20:20,805 --> 00:20:23,224 - Promise? - I promise. 578 00:20:25,768 --> 00:20:26,853 Ready? [coaster hisses] 579 00:20:26,853 --> 00:20:28,688 I don't know. 580 00:20:28,688 --> 00:20:30,189 What was your favorite ride? 581 00:20:30,189 --> 00:20:31,315 Princess Coaster. 582 00:20:31,315 --> 00:20:32,942 Fuck the Princess Coaster. 583 00:20:32,942 --> 00:20:34,068 Let's go! 584 00:20:34,068 --> 00:20:36,279 Whoo! Whoo! 585 00:20:36,279 --> 00:20:38,406 [whimpers] We're really high up! 586 00:20:38,406 --> 00:20:39,699 Not for long! 587 00:20:39,699 --> 00:20:41,909 Let's go! 588 00:20:41,909 --> 00:20:45,538 - Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! - [screaming] 589 00:20:47,248 --> 00:20:50,334 - We're gonna die! - Yeah, we are! 590 00:20:54,005 --> 00:20:55,006 Wasn't that great? 591 00:20:55,006 --> 00:20:56,132 Wasn't that so much fun? Huh? 592 00:20:56,132 --> 00:20:57,550 [whimpers] 593 00:20:57,550 --> 00:20:59,719 Why would you force me to do that? 594 00:20:59,719 --> 00:21:02,180 Whoa. Hey, I didn't force you to do anything, okay? 595 00:21:02,180 --> 00:21:03,890 You said I'd like it, and I didn't! 596 00:21:03,890 --> 00:21:05,600 I didn't like it! I hated it! 597 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:07,852 - Yo, is that Pete Davidson? - I miss my mom! I miss my mom! 598 00:21:07,852 --> 00:21:09,854 I'm sorry. I was just trying to help you. 599 00:21:09,854 --> 00:21:11,272 What happened? Are you okay? What's wrong? 600 00:21:11,272 --> 00:21:12,732 I don't know. She's freaking out. 601 00:21:12,732 --> 00:21:15,193 - Calm down. Calm down. - You're horrible! 602 00:21:15,193 --> 00:21:16,152 He's not horrible. He's great. 603 00:21:16,152 --> 00:21:17,278 You said if things are gay, 604 00:21:17,278 --> 00:21:18,696 they're the worst things in the world! 605 00:21:18,696 --> 00:21:20,406 Oh, come on. You knew what I meant. 606 00:21:20,406 --> 00:21:21,991 I heard everything you said in the car. 607 00:21:21,991 --> 00:21:23,493 Everything! 608 00:21:23,493 --> 00:21:25,912 You said that you lied about liking "Black Panther." 609 00:21:25,912 --> 00:21:27,080 He never even saw it! 610 00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:28,122 - What? - What? 611 00:21:28,122 --> 00:21:30,416 You shut your mouth. 612 00:21:30,416 --> 00:21:32,126 Guys, she's just a kid. 613 00:21:32,126 --> 00:21:34,420 I mean, I s-- I saw "Black Panther." 614 00:21:34,420 --> 00:21:36,089 Multiple times, right? 615 00:21:36,089 --> 00:21:37,590 "Wakander" forever. 616 00:21:37,590 --> 00:21:39,133 There's no hard "R" in "Wakanda," 617 00:21:39,133 --> 00:21:40,343 you fucking racist. 618 00:21:40,343 --> 00:21:41,677 What's with this guy? [crown booing] 619 00:21:41,677 --> 00:21:43,513 I told you to watch that movie. 620 00:21:43,513 --> 00:21:45,098 So now, we out here fucked up. 621 00:21:45,098 --> 00:21:47,433 The girl from "Ring" is out here tryna get you cancelled, 622 00:21:47,433 --> 00:21:48,643 and Kenny Rogers from the fuckin' future 623 00:21:48,643 --> 00:21:50,103 thinks he's a goddamn journalist. 624 00:21:50,103 --> 00:21:51,521 Go ahead. Put the camera down. 625 00:21:51,521 --> 00:21:53,022 Hey, Davidson. [booing continues] 626 00:21:53,022 --> 00:21:54,482 I got a "Weekend Update" for you. 627 00:21:54,482 --> 00:21:56,234 You suck. [laughter] 628 00:21:56,234 --> 00:21:57,527 Right? Come on. 629 00:21:57,527 --> 00:22:00,488 And your special was so-so. 630 00:22:00,488 --> 00:22:03,783 There's nothin' worse than a Wakanda denier. 631 00:22:03,783 --> 00:22:07,078 [soft ambient music] 632 00:22:07,078 --> 00:22:13,084 ♪ ♪ 633 00:22:13,084 --> 00:22:15,378 [sighs] Hey, I'm sorry I-- 634 00:22:15,378 --> 00:22:17,338 I let you down today. 635 00:22:17,338 --> 00:22:19,841 You know, it was my first day as a dad, 636 00:22:19,841 --> 00:22:22,218 and I fucked up, you know? 637 00:22:22,218 --> 00:22:24,470 Okay, let's slow down. You weren't a dad. 638 00:22:24,470 --> 00:22:26,597 You were a co-babysitter for, like, eight hours. 639 00:22:26,597 --> 00:22:28,850 I was kind of a dad, right? 640 00:22:28,850 --> 00:22:30,059 Okay, this is crazy. 641 00:22:30,059 --> 00:22:31,102 Can we stop acting like you're gonna have, 642 00:22:31,102 --> 00:22:32,603 like, a kid tomorrow? 643 00:22:32,603 --> 00:22:34,355 Why? Why is that so crazy? 644 00:22:34,355 --> 00:22:35,648 Everybody's saying that to me. 645 00:22:35,648 --> 00:22:37,316 They're saying, "Oh, you can't do..." 646 00:22:37,316 --> 00:22:39,819 Why? Why? I love very strong. 647 00:22:39,819 --> 00:22:42,113 I would take really good care of a kid. 648 00:22:42,113 --> 00:22:44,866 Am I that crazy to think that I could take care of something 649 00:22:44,866 --> 00:22:46,159 and love something and-- 650 00:22:46,159 --> 00:22:48,494 No. No, I... 651 00:22:48,494 --> 00:22:52,331 I think you're gonna be a really great, 652 00:22:52,331 --> 00:22:55,543 not-high-all-the-time dad. 653 00:22:55,543 --> 00:22:57,336 Someday. 654 00:22:57,336 --> 00:22:59,630 - I see it. - Thanks. 655 00:23:10,516 --> 00:23:12,268 I can't do this again. 656 00:23:12,268 --> 00:23:15,104 - What? - I can't do this again. 657 00:23:15,104 --> 00:23:17,648 If you wanna be friends with me, 658 00:23:17,648 --> 00:23:20,359 I will be your best fucking friend. 659 00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:23,696 But can you just please stop confusing me? 660 00:23:23,696 --> 00:23:26,616 'Cause it's mean and it hurts. 661 00:23:28,367 --> 00:23:32,872 ♪ Loneliness ♪ 662 00:23:32,872 --> 00:23:34,540 ♪ ♪ 663 00:23:34,540 --> 00:23:39,295 ♪ How I miss your tenderness ♪ 664 00:23:39,295 --> 00:23:40,755 ♪ ♪ 665 00:23:40,755 --> 00:23:45,927 ♪ Seems so long since you've gone ♪ 666 00:23:45,927 --> 00:23:47,220 [sighs] Hey, Mom. 667 00:23:47,220 --> 00:23:49,055 I'm--I'm fuckin' starving. 668 00:23:49,055 --> 00:23:51,265 Do you have food left over? 669 00:23:51,265 --> 00:23:53,893 Go take a look. I'm watching "Grey's." 670 00:23:53,893 --> 00:23:56,562 Well, can I join? 671 00:23:56,562 --> 00:23:58,689 You're a grown man. Do what you want. 672 00:24:02,819 --> 00:24:05,780 All right. Catch me up. 673 00:24:07,115 --> 00:24:08,658 Meredith might have found out 674 00:24:08,658 --> 00:24:10,660 that McDreamy was cheating on her in D.C., 675 00:24:10,660 --> 00:24:12,495 but it's questionable. 676 00:24:12,495 --> 00:24:13,830 What a douchebag. 677 00:24:13,830 --> 00:24:16,499 I mean, doesn't he know that she's the sun? 678 00:24:20,128 --> 00:24:22,588 Hey, after this, do you wanna watch "Black Panther"? 679 00:24:22,588 --> 00:24:24,090 - No. - Okay. 680 00:24:24,090 --> 00:24:29,095 {\an8}- * I want you back right by my side ♪ 681 00:24:29,095 --> 00:24:31,305 {\an8}♪ ♪ 682 00:24:31,305 --> 00:24:37,186 {\an8}♪ I feel bad, don't you see? ♪ 683 00:24:37,186 --> 00:24:42,233 {\an8}♪ Oh, don't do this to me ♪ 684 00:24:42,233 --> 00:24:43,776 {\an8}♪ ♪ 685 00:24:43,776 --> 00:24:48,781 {\an8}♪ Please come back to my side ♪ 686 00:24:48,781 --> 00:24:50,366 {\an8}♪ ♪ 687 00:24:50,366 --> 00:24:55,037 {\an8}♪ Wipe the tears from my eyes ♪ 688 00:24:55,037 --> 00:24:56,581 {\an8}♪ ♪ 689 00:24:56,581 --> 00:25:01,044 {\an8}♪ Stop this hate in my heart ♪ 690 00:25:01,044 --> 00:25:02,795 {\an8}♪ ♪ 691 00:25:02,795 --> 00:25:08,843 {\an8}♪ Say that we will never part ♪ 692 00:25:08,843 --> 00:25:15,850 {\an8}♪ ♪