1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,720
Wedding bells are a-chiming,

2
00:00:03,760 --> 00:00:05,800
and ain't that a sweet, sweet ring?

3
00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:07,680
Remember our wedding night, Fiona?

4
00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:10,320
You ate too many sunflower seeds
and fell asleep at 8pm.

5
00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:11,920
Yes, I did.

6
00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:15,880
Oh, I'm pumped, spiritually
and, well, physically.

7
00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:17,840
Dad, are you making an innuendo?

8
00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:19,840
Aaron, with my whole heart, yes.

9
00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:21,640
Fiona, You look incredible.

10
00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:23,440
Thanks, David.

11
00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:25,680
But I feel like I'm wearing a bib.

12
00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:27,200
A sexy bib. Dad!

13
00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:29,880
Oh, I accept that was too far.

14
00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:34,840
Relax. Samson will soon fall and
everyone can take off their bibs.

15
00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:36,920
Is that Jebediah?

16
00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:40,640
To think, one day you could be
marrying him on this sacred site.

17
00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:44,360
Mm, or I could cut him
out of my life forever.

18
00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:48,440
Welcome, guys.

19
00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:50,840
Ceremony should be
in two to five hours.

20
00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:53,720
Josh was so excited,
he wanted lots of wiggle room.

21
00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:57,360
David, I require an audience
with my special one.

22
00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:01,560
Fiona, I'll deal with this.

23
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:03,920
Jeb, I should probably say up top.

24
00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:06,600
Babe, it's OK.
You don't need to apologise.

25
00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:08,560
I should apologise,

26
00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:10,680
because I'm breaking up with you.

27
00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:13,920
That's why you want to apologise.

28
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:16,120
You're a great girl.
Maybe too great.

29
00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:18,080
You thought I was the Joseph
to your Mary.

30
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,760
And for a moment, so did I.

31
00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:21,160
But I'm not Joseph.

32
00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:24,320
I'm Jeb.

33
00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:25,880
And Jeb's built for the road.

34
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:27,800
Road? The Bolton Youth.

35
00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:29,600
They're also having a courtship
ceremony

36
00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:34,640
and they're a very godly chapter,
and busty by the sound of things.

37
00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:36,160
I'll pray for you, Rachel.

38
00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:40,920
And I don't just mean today, I mean
tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.

39
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:42,240
Are you quoting Shakespeare?

40
00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:44,200
I'm talking about tomorrow, Rachel.

41
00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:47,040
OK, Jeb, I think you're an idiot.

42
00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:49,960
I shouldn't have picked you, and I'm
going to go stop this wedding.

43
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:51,960
Rebound, eh?

44
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,640
I'll find it hard to get
over you too.

45
00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:59,000
MUSIC: Dancing in the Moonlight
by Toploader

46
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:02,320
I'm a very patient woman, David.

47
00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:05,560
I once waited 12 years
for a man's wife to die.

48
00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:09,280
But I'm starting to lose
that patience.

49
00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:13,840
It's time for Fiona to be sacrificed
for your binding of Isaac,

50
00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:18,400
and unlike God, I won't pull out
at the last minute.

51
00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:23,200
Maude, since we last spoke, I have
bonded profoundly with my wife.

52
00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:25,080
Like we bonded in that VCR?

53
00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:27,280
No, in a much more normal way.

54
00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:30,080
I want you to take this back,
once and for all.

55
00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:32,000
Don't strain your leash, David.

56
00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:35,360
When you accepted that pie dish,
you and I made a covenant.

57
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:37,440
I really think it was just pie.

58
00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:40,160
A covenant, David,
to our future.

59
00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:41,800
Oh, just think about it.

60
00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:45,800
Every morning you'd wake to a
chalice, full to the brim

61
00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:48,680
of summer fruit squash
as red and full bodied

62
00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:50,480
as Christ's own lifeblood.

63
00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:53,480
Every night you'd dine
on a Yorkshire pudding

64
00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:56,320
the size of a baking tray.

65
00:02:56,360 --> 00:03:00,960
But if you revoke that covenant,
David, there will be consequences.

66
00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:06,240
Do your worst.

67
00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:12,320
So be it.

68
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:13,720
David Lewis.

69
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,480
You broke into my house.

70
00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:19,000
You besmirched my sanctuary.

71
00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:22,920
I've been waiting
so long to say this.

72
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:27,680
You are excluded from the order.

73
00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:29,280
Woo!

74
00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:31,720
Mm! Mm! Mm!

75
00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:33,200
Sorry, special one.

76
00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:52,360
Pretty sweet, huh?

77
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:55,320
The only thing getting crucified
on that is bad vibes.

78
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:56,680
Am I right, Joel?

79
00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:58,720
So are you like the wedding planner?

80
00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:00,600
Josh said that it was easier to let
me do this

81
00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:01,960
than deal with me being upset,

82
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,200
and he was right.

83
00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:04,400
Gosh, was he right.

84
00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:07,520
So here I am, organising
the wedding of my dreams.

85
00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:09,360
Your dreams? Josh's dreams.

86
00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:11,120
I'm not here.

87
00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:13,240
Oh, I forgot the cake topper.

88
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:16,680
Where's the bride?

89
00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:19,040
The what? Abijah.

90
00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:20,320
I need to speak to Joshua.

91
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,840
Sure, Rachel.
Follow me to the groom room.

92
00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:25,360
As long as you're not planning
on talking him out of it.

93
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:28,800
Seriously, I'm not letting anything
get in the way of my wedding.

94
00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:31,320
Samson, please be merciful.

95
00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:32,480
I am being merciful.

96
00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:34,280
I'm letting the boy stay.

97
00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:37,840
I don't exclude people
until they reach sixth form.

98
00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:39,440
I tell you what.

99
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,320
I'll give you ten seconds to change
my mind.

100
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:45,240
Starting from...now.

101
00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:47,680
Um, I...

102
00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:49,280
All that I am is this church.

103
00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:51,440
I joined for my wife.

104
00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:52,880
I'd lose her.

105
00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:54,680
I'd lose my family.

106
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:56,120
Time, gentlemen.

107
00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:57,240
Still excluded.

108
00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:59,600
Samson, we have photos
of your house.

109
00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:01,240
Once the overseer
sees what you've been doing

110
00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:02,600
with the congregation's money...

111
00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:04,520
The overseer already knows,

112
00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:08,600
and he's quite happy as long
as he gets his tithe.

113
00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:10,400
Good luck in hell, David.

114
00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:16,280
Cos come 5pm, you'll officially
be one of God's forsaken men.

115
00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:20,680
The groom room is the toilet.

116
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,840
Josh was very clear
he wanted a lockable space.

117
00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:25,440
We have no lockable space in our
flat and he hates that.

118
00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,720
Room for one more, roomie?

119
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:29,760
Roomie?

120
00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:32,040
He usually says shut up
when I call him roomie.

121
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:33,080
One second.

122
00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:38,360
Oh, I forgot the groom room
had a window.

123
00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:41,840
I'd say it's mixed news.

124
00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,160
Yes, in the sense that it's horror
mixed with despair

125
00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:47,280
mixed with the sensation
of your head being in a vice.

126
00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:48,680
Look, I have a plan.

127
00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:51,120
I'm going to prostrate myself
before the pie-making succubus

128
00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:54,120
that did this to us.
And if that doesn't work.

129
00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:56,160
Fiona, it has to work.

130
00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,520
Because the alternative
doesn't bear thinking about.

131
00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:01,920
Think about it, David.
We need to think about it.

132
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:05,720
Well, in that case, you, the whole
family, would have to decide

133
00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:09,560
whether to stay in the faith
or be with me.

134
00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:12,720
OK, I need some air.

135
00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:14,800
Aaron, can I put you in charge
of telling Rachel

136
00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:17,000
our world is collapsing?
Yeah.

137
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:18,120
I'll give her a buzz.

138
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,120
I can talk Maude around, Aaron.

139
00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:21,160
Don't worry.

140
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:23,760
Dad, I saw you guys wedged in a VCR.

141
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,360
Of course I'm worried.

142
00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:29,120
Come on, roomie, please pick up.

143
00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:30,600
I mean, maybe he's been raptured.

144
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,240
Opportunistic one man rapture.

145
00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:34,520
I think he's just running away
from his shotgun wedding.

146
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:36,560
Rachel, this is not a shotgun
wedding because we're not

147
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:38,480
in the Deep South, and Heather
is a lovely girl.

148
00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:41,560
And any of us would be very lucky
to be forced to marry her.

149
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,080
I just can't get through to him.

150
00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:44,680
He's gone dark. He's not picking up.

151
00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:46,280
PHONE CHIMES
He's replied to me instantly.

152
00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:49,440
OK, well, that hurts.
Abijah, I know where he is.

153
00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:51,080
Give me the keys to the bridal car.

154
00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:52,880
So you can find him
and bring him back.

155
00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:55,360
Definitely one of those things.

156
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,080
Wait, what? Abijah.

157
00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:58,280
Oh, Samson.

158
00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,880
FYI, Joshua is a little bit delayed,
so we're all just going

159
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,760
to mill about for a bit, just soak
up the ambience

160
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:03,920
for the pre-marriage meal.

161
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:06,640
Yeah, shut up about that,
I don't care. The cross.

162
00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:08,800
You don't like it?
I don't like it.

163
00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:09,880
I love it.

164
00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:11,120
I want to do my speech under it.

165
00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:12,200
Make it dangle.

166
00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:15,520
From the ceiling?
I said, make it dangle.

167
00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:22,680
Ah, thank you, Mr Wall Bracket.

168
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:24,160
You are my champion.

169
00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:28,520
Maybe just a quick blessing
to be safe.

170
00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:31,560
I bless this bracket in the name
of the father.

171
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:35,880
Dear God, I'm in, forgive me,
a real fucking crisis

172
00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:40,280
and I know you don't tend to get
back to prayers quickly.

173
00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:43,400
Sometimes it feels you don't get
back at all, in fact.

174
00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:46,720
But please send me a sign.

175
00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:49,800
Oh! I think I'll pray
somewhere else.

176
00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:51,840
No, wait. I think you might be
a sign from God.

177
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:55,240
Of course I've heard
that one before. I'm desperate.

178
00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:57,120
OK, I'll agree to talk
to you if you agree

179
00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:58,560
to a five-foot exclusion zone.

180
00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:00,200
OK.

181
00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:01,480
OK.

182
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:02,840
And the apron?

183
00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:06,880
Samson's making me serve
prawn rings,

184
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,160
so I came to ask God to kill me.

185
00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:11,560
David wants me to leave
the order with him.

186
00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:13,760
What would you do in my shoes?

187
00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:15,960
My faith is everything to me.

188
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:20,440
But if Mary had asked me to leave,
I would not have hesitated.

189
00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:23,880
What? I would have left
for true love.

190
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,320
But...

191
00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:26,440
..no.

192
00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:27,640
No?

193
00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:28,840
No.

194
00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:31,520
I could have left 20 years ago.

195
00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:32,920
I stayed.

196
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:37,320
I stayed and I went to church
eight times a week,

197
00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:40,560
and I didn't go to uni,
and I never drank

198
00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:42,080
and I was such a good girl.

199
00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:47,360
And if I go now, now, with my youth
over, then what was the point?

200
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:49,680
What was the point in any of it?

201
00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:52,520
I think I'm going to go.

202
00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:54,960
Tell me I'm not a bad person
if I stay.

203
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,840
Fiona, it's your choice.

204
00:08:56,880 --> 00:09:00,320
Though I do think your marriage
and mine are quite different.

205
00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:02,920
You were so thirsty
to massage my neck.

206
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:04,800
You've broken the barrier.

207
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:07,640
OK.

208
00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:08,920
He wasn't a sign.

209
00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:12,760
Melissa.

210
00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:16,040
We're busy, Fiona. Call you back
after I've dropped this bitch.

211
00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,560
Right, who wants to fucking dance?

212
00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:41,520
When I lived in that flat,
I thought I hit rock bottom.

213
00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:45,320
And then I moved in with Abijah
and experienced cowboy poetry night.

214
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:50,200
Some good times in that flat
too, though.

215
00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:51,640
PHONE CHIMES

216
00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:56,640
It's another voice note from heaven.

217
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,240
So many layers to this cake

218
00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:00,040
and all of them make you.

219
00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:02,800
Oh, gosh, she's
really coming for me.

220
00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:11,120
Why are you here, Rachel?

221
00:10:12,560 --> 00:10:14,680
I've come to bring you back
so you can marry the whispering

222
00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:15,960
psychopath of your dreams.

223
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:19,520
OK, maybe less jokes
on the worst day of my life.

224
00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:23,000
If you don't marry Heather,
your dad's going to kick you out.

225
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:26,240
And if I get the job
I'm now qualified for...

226
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:30,080
..he's going to kick me out too.

227
00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:34,800
But if we were together,
it wouldn't be so bad.

228
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:38,160
Just a thought.

229
00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:42,240
Wow. So my dad takes power
and you instantly want to leave.

230
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:44,280
He has that effect on people.

231
00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:47,320
Actually, I've been feeling
like this for a while.

232
00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:49,880
Rachel, I overhauled my whole life
for you,

233
00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:52,760
and it feels like you just left me
on the hob

234
00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:55,800
until it didn't work out
with the other guy.

235
00:10:57,440 --> 00:11:01,600
And I don't know what to do next,

236
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:07,240
but I think that maybe
it doesn't involve you and me.

237
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:11,360
Right.

238
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,240
Yeah. Um...

239
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:19,480
This is for you.

240
00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:20,520
A match card?

241
00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:23,240
Yeah, that's the match card
I should have handed in.

242
00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:46,960
Um...are you the groom?

243
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:49,320
No, no. Just solitude for me.

244
00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,280
I'm merely a placeholder.

245
00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:53,200
Wait, so you're single?

246
00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:56,000
I find that incredibly hard
to believe.

247
00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:57,320
Oh...

248
00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,600
Look, I am also a placeholder.

249
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:00,640
Wow.

250
00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:03,360
Um, I'm Ellie.

251
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:05,120
Ellie?

252
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:06,680
Oh, wow.

253
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:08,560
I'm Abijah.

254
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:10,520
Right. Yeah. Um...

255
00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:13,400
I love what you're wearing, Abijah.

256
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:14,560
Oh!

257
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:19,160
You...you look like you could
herd some serious cow. Wow!

258
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:22,200
It's probably the nicest thing
that anyone's ever said to me.

259
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:23,480
No. No.

260
00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:25,840
Cowboy Abijah. Cow-bijah.

261
00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:27,280
That's amazing.

262
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:33,600
I'm... I'm sorry if this is too
forward, but are you on the apps?

263
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,400
No, I gave up, actually.

264
00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:36,600
Oh, except for Kringle.

265
00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:39,840
My Kringle sub doesn't run out
until Pentecost.

266
00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:42,160
Abijah! My speech approaches.

267
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:43,640
Stop connecting with that woman.

268
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,520
Um... I need to go. Oh.

269
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:52,120
Hmm. David, I wondered when
you'd return.

270
00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:53,360
Maude.

271
00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:55,400
I'll do anything to keep
my family together.

272
00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:56,720
Name your price.

273
00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:59,800
I will slide my hand into
a retro tech object.

274
00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:01,560
I will eat any savoury bake.

275
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:04,200
I do have something in mind,
actually.

276
00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:05,480
Yes?

277
00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:08,040
Sit and watch
a tape with me...on our baby.

278
00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:12,680
Our baby that we repaired together.

279
00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:15,400
OK, doesn't sound too bad.

280
00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:18,880
Sunflower seeds?

281
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:20,920
I know they're your favourite.

282
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,080
What are we watching?

283
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:28,720
David, when a dog misbehaves,
it must be disciplined.

284
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:33,400
And when it cannot be disciplined,
it must be put down.

285
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:39,320
I'm not sure I love him any more.
No...

286
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:41,960
I'm not just saying that. I mean it.
Look at her.

287
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,120
Look at the woman you chose over me.

288
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:49,000
If this marriage is what God wants,
then...does God hate me?

289
00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:53,560
David, what's wrong?

290
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,480
You've not touched your seeds.

291
00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:59,240
He just smells so powerfully
of beef.

292
00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:01,400
He's like a human Oxo cube.

293
00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:05,960
Have you managed to get
through to Rachel?

294
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,400
Would she leave, do you think?

295
00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:09,720
Don't answer that.

296
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:11,400
OK, I won't answer it.

297
00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:13,040
You don't want to leave, right?

298
00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:17,080
Leave the Samson police state
that won't let me be who I am?

299
00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:20,280
OK, maybe I won't answer
that one either.

300
00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:24,040
What about you, Mum?
What do YOU want?

301
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:29,640
Is that your father?

302
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,760
Dad's begging the spider woman
for mercy.

303
00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:42,560
He taped over our wedding video
with series four of Robot Wars.

304
00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:44,760
It was a bad series!

305
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,920
Do you see how she loathes you,
David?

306
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:49,400
How glad she'd be to be rid of you.

307
00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:51,320
Oh, to you, she's everything.

308
00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:53,560
But to her, you're...

309
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:55,960
You're just the man who ruined
her life.

310
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,560
All he does is rewind VHS tapes.

311
00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:00,480
It's four hours a day.

312
00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:02,040
She's tolerated you, David.

313
00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,680
Suffered your presence
all these years

314
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,080
for the sake of appearances.

315
00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:09,640
But she would never, ever
fight for you.

316
00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:11,000
Maude.

317
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:15,360
Oh, speak of the devil
and she will appear.

318
00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:16,920
CLUNK!

319
00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:20,280
That's for my special one, bitch.

320
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:24,240
Christ's crib.

321
00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,800
Still need my help? I've just
knocked out Maude.

322
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:29,120
From outside your fist?
No fist.

323
00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:30,520
Pounded to the face!

324
00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:31,720
Fiona, that's brutal.

325
00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:33,000
I love it.

326
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:35,520
Fiona...

327
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,720
Um, do you...

328
00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,520
..you know...

329
00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:42,640
..love me?

330
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,520
Of course I do.

331
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:46,080
Right.

332
00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:48,240
It's just in the tape...

333
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,760
The tape doesn't matter, David.

334
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:51,520
And that's...

335
00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:55,720
That's why we're leaving...together.

336
00:15:57,680 --> 00:16:00,880
Mum, you're not just doing
this out of pure guilt, are you?

337
00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:02,400
I haven't figured that out yet.

338
00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:04,600
And I honestly see no need to.

339
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,480
PHONE VIBRATES

340
00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:13,520
Oh, Christ. Oh, Jesus. Oh, God.
Josh, please pick up.

341
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:15,440
Abijah, I'm here. I've picked up.

342
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:19,000
Oh, Josh! Oh, thank the Lord.
Please come back.

343
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:20,680
My blood pressure is 220 over 180,

344
00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:23,480
and Google doesn't think
I should be alive.

345
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:24,720
OK.

346
00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:26,200
OK?

347
00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:28,200
Yes! Oh, amazing.

348
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,560
What changed your mind?
I need to ask Rachel

349
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,560
if she meant what she wrote.
What she wrote?

350
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:35,080
On the back of the match card
she gave me.

351
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:38,800
That doesn't sound very "I'm
going to marry Heather-y", Josh!

352
00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:40,160
Josh?

353
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:41,280
Josh!

354
00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:43,400
CLATTER

355
00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:45,200
Oh, my...

356
00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:46,640
Uh...

357
00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:49,880
Rachel, where have you been?

358
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:51,960
I... It doesn't matter.

359
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,120
What have I missed?

360
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:56,160
Your mother assaulted a woman
with a dish.

361
00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:59,200
What? Sit down.
We need to tell you something.

362
00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:01,320
And it may come as quite a shock.

363
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:05,280
Your father's being excluded
from the Order,

364
00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:09,600
and somehow we have to choose
whether to stay or to go.

365
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:11,240
Go.

366
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,200
You answered that awfully quickly.

367
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:14,520
Are you not going?

368
00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:16,680
I am, but the decision took me
all day.

369
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:19,080
Once we're condemned,
you and I are going to have a talk.

370
00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:22,200
Witness my rise!

371
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:25,120
OK, I feel less bad about
leaving now.

372
00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:27,280
It's a beautiful thing.

373
00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:29,000
Ascending.

374
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:32,920
It makes you realise
what's important.

375
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,280
God is love, they say.

376
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:38,520
Uhh! Wrong.

377
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:41,320
God is obedience.

378
00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:44,360
God is submission.

379
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:50,080
We've already made such
wonderful strides together.

380
00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:51,200
Hmm...

381
00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:54,160
Traditions restored.

382
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:58,240
Men allowed to be men.

383
00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:02,880
Women appropriately dressed.

384
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:06,800
One elder,

385
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:09,280
one God...for ever.

386
00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:10,840
Abijah.

387
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:12,360
Oh, hey.

388
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:15,200
Check your phone. My phone? Yeah.

389
00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:17,280
APPLAUSE RIPPLES

390
00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:19,760
And it will be for ever,

391
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,840
because the Church of Samson...

392
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:23,640
This is the best day of my life.

393
00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:25,040
..is here to stay, baby.

394
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:26,680
GASPS

395
00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:28,480
Daddy!

396
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:30,160
MURMURING

397
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:31,800
CREAKING

398
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:33,480
Ohh!

399
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,120
GASPS

400
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:36,760
MICROPHONE FEEDBACK

401
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:38,840
HE CHUCKLES

402
00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:41,240
You see -

403
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:42,800
I'm invincible.

404
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:44,640
Oh, phew.

405
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:47,760
The cross isn't actually
too heavy, anyway.

406
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:50,760
It's the wattage
you'd have to worry about.

407
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,080
GASPS

408
00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:54,640
You have such beautiful eyes.

409
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:57,040
GASPS

410
00:18:58,280 --> 00:18:59,520
Oh, my gosh!

411
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:01,240
DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS

412
00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,160
Call an ambulance!

413
00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:14,480
Sorry your wedding day was ruined

414
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:17,640
by a combination of your fiance
running away

415
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:20,640
and his dad getting fried
into a coma.

416
00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:22,480
But you look nice.

417
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:24,400
Like you're wearing a cloud.

418
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:25,720
In a good way.

419
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:28,400
How's chastity?

420
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:30,640
Yeah, it's good. I think I've really
turned a corner, actually.

421
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:33,960
Once you realise you're not a slave
to your impulses,

422
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,360
it's...it's empowering.
Strengthening.

423
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,840
SHE WHISPERS

424
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:44,840
What do you mean, you've got the car
for another hour?

425
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:51,280
Ah...

426
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,600
Rachel... Josh, you came back.
Yeah.

427
00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:01,000
I just wanted to ask... Joshua,
there's no easy way to say this.

428
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:03,200
Our dad's been electrocuted
by a cross.

429
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,520
He needs a miracle to make it.
Did you just say "our dad"?

430
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,600
One of us should go with him
to the hospital.

431
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,400
I guess you've always
been the favourite.

432
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:15,160
Oh, Josh had something to ask you.

433
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:18,440
That's before Samson got hooked up
to the mains.

434
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:22,960
SHE GROANS

435
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:29,360
There's an unconscious woman
upstairs.

436
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:31,720
Anyone know about this? Yes.

437
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:33,880
Funny story.
So, my beautiful wife...

438
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:36,280
Shut up, David.
I was supposed to DJ.

439
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:37,720
Do you still want me?

440
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:40,240
I mean, it would be quite
disrespectful to Samson.

441
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:41,680
Good point.

442
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:43,040
Yes. We still want you.

443
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:51,280
HIGH-PITCHED SHRIEKING

444
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:56,120
Wow, you're really vocal.

445
00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:57,600
MUSIC STARTS

446
00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:59,800
I see you've liked me back.

447
00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:02,240
Do you fancy a quick hoedown
throw-down?

448
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:05,280
What? Dance.
I'm asking you to dance.

449
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:07,280
Yes. I'd love a dance.

450
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:12,640
If he's dead, is it my fault?
What have I missed?

451
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:14,240
Joel's back.

452
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:17,720
David, would you care to...?

453
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:19,920
Fiona...

454
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:22,240
..allow me to take off your bib.

455
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:25,200
Is that Samson's scarf?

456
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:26,680
No, Andrew.

457
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:30,160
It's yours.

458
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:34,400
It's time for change. Change?

459
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:36,000
I won't let you down.

460
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,120
Unless my brain breaks again.

461
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:39,440
HE LAUGHS MANICALLY

462
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:40,800
Woo!

463
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:45,920
We get to stay.

464
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:50,320
You're happy, right?

465
00:21:50,360 --> 00:21:51,800
Yeah.

466
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:53,560
Feel great.

467
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:54,880
Renewed.

468
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,080
Full of purpose.

469
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:03,120
# Every time I see you falling

470
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:06,960
# I get down on my knees and pray

471
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:11,280
# I'm waiting for that final moment

472
00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:15,520
# You say the words that I can't say

473
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:35,760
# Every time I see you falling

474
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:39,360
# I get down on my knees and pray

475
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:43,480
# I'm waiting for that final moment

476
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:47,600
# You say the words
that I can't say... #