1 00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:04,256 [♪ mellow music playing] 2 00:00:04,256 --> 00:00:06,967 [Murphy Collins] Paige, the only real mother you've ever had died. 3 00:00:06,967 --> 00:00:09,594 - Oh, God. - You have a lotta work to do. 4 00:00:09,594 --> 00:00:11,513 Yes, like transcontinental 5 00:00:11,513 --> 00:00:12,681 - railroad-level work. - You wish. 6 00:00:12,681 --> 00:00:14,975 No, railroad is a straight line. 7 00:00:14,975 --> 00:00:18,144 Grief is more like a-- it, it zigzags. 8 00:00:18,144 --> 00:00:20,522 Ya have to take it in, swirl it around. 9 00:00:20,522 --> 00:00:22,440 Are you telling us to gargle our grief? 10 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:24,276 - [Paige Alexander] Mm. - [snaps] Exactly. 11 00:00:24,276 --> 00:00:25,860 At least you're doin' okay, huh, Edwin? 12 00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:28,113 And you're basing that on what now? 13 00:00:28,113 --> 00:00:32,366 We just found out that Sadiiq, one of his associates, just got 23 years. 14 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:34,452 Man, that boy's life is done now. 15 00:00:34,452 --> 00:00:35,912 [Murphy] Hell of a week, huh? 16 00:00:35,912 --> 00:00:38,456 Finn, your dad was supposed to show up and he stiffed you, that sucks. 17 00:00:38,456 --> 00:00:40,792 - No, yeah, it's whatever. - [Edwin Alexander] It really messed him up 18 00:00:40,792 --> 00:00:42,836 and now he spends all his time in his room. 19 00:00:42,836 --> 00:00:44,754 Finn, I think you might be backsliding. 20 00:00:44,754 --> 00:00:48,091 Regression is part of development, as you know, Paige. 21 00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:50,468 I hate to, uh, cause more stress, 22 00:00:50,468 --> 00:00:52,470 but today's your last session. I'm leaving town. 23 00:00:52,470 --> 00:00:55,098 - What?! - Yeah, I'm going to India on a Rumspringa. 24 00:00:55,098 --> 00:00:57,517 - You're not Amish. - It's sort of a spiritual awaken-- 25 00:00:57,517 --> 00:00:59,644 It's a six-month thing. No talking. 26 00:00:59,644 --> 00:01:01,938 It's just [sighs] I'm in this office every day, 27 00:01:01,938 --> 00:01:03,982 and everybody comes in and they dump all their shit on me. 28 00:01:03,982 --> 00:01:07,068 Yack-yack-yack-yack-yack in my ear and it's exhausting. 29 00:01:07,068 --> 00:01:08,820 - No offense. - So, you're saying that we gotta 30 00:01:08,820 --> 00:01:11,031 - zig and zag and do all that... - [Murphy] Yeah. 31 00:01:11,031 --> 00:01:13,617 ...and we all fucked up, and you are goin' off to India. 32 00:01:13,617 --> 00:01:15,493 Good for you, Doc, but let me tell you somethin'. 33 00:01:16,286 --> 00:01:19,039 Slide over. My grandson has not driven a car... 34 00:01:19,039 --> 00:01:20,332 - Oh. - ...since the accident. 35 00:01:20,332 --> 00:01:23,710 And this family is nowhere near fixed, Doc. 36 00:01:23,710 --> 00:01:27,172 I got bad news for ya. You're never really fixed. 37 00:01:27,172 --> 00:01:31,134 Murphy, my best mom died, in my room. 38 00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:32,260 So, now you need me? 39 00:01:32,260 --> 00:01:33,470 - Kind of. - Yes. 40 00:01:33,470 --> 00:01:34,804 Maybe you guys have grown a bit. 41 00:01:34,804 --> 00:01:36,556 You never would've said that day one. 42 00:01:36,556 --> 00:01:38,225 Loss is inevitable. 43 00:01:38,225 --> 00:01:40,560 The key is what you do with it. That's what matters. 44 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,854 So, I'm gonna ask you all three this question. 45 00:01:43,396 --> 00:01:46,608 What will you do with your grief? 46 00:01:46,608 --> 00:01:49,694 And you gotta feel it, man. Ya gotta feel it here. 47 00:01:49,694 --> 00:01:50,862 You've got to feel it here. 48 00:01:50,862 --> 00:01:53,949 - And you've got-- - Don't, don't, man. Just don't. 49 00:01:54,491 --> 00:01:55,825 At least... 50 00:01:55,825 --> 00:01:58,912 Well, took 'em long enough to approve the claim. 51 00:01:58,912 --> 00:02:00,330 Thank you so much, Nadine. 52 00:02:00,330 --> 00:02:03,750 Well, you're the one who paid the premium 17 years in advance. 53 00:02:04,876 --> 00:02:07,295 Still can't believe the news about Carole. 54 00:02:07,295 --> 00:02:10,006 Paige is havin' folk over after the funeral, 55 00:02:10,006 --> 00:02:12,133 and I, I told 'em I'd cater. 56 00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:13,843 Do they know you cook with spices? 57 00:02:13,843 --> 00:02:15,929 [both chuckle] 58 00:02:16,429 --> 00:02:19,349 - I told Paige I want you to come. - Mm. 59 00:02:19,349 --> 00:02:21,393 I don't wanna do anything to upset Paige. 60 00:02:21,393 --> 00:02:22,561 Don't worry 'bout that. 61 00:02:22,561 --> 00:02:24,854 I'll just stay home and eat a dry pot roast 62 00:02:24,854 --> 00:02:27,357 in honor of the woman I could never live up to. 63 00:02:27,357 --> 00:02:28,858 [Edwin hums] 64 00:02:29,734 --> 00:02:31,778 I'm sorry about Sadiiq. 65 00:02:33,405 --> 00:02:34,406 Fox okay? 66 00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:36,408 [softly] I don't know. 67 00:02:36,783 --> 00:02:41,538 - Are you okay? - Hell no, I'm not okay. [chuckles] 68 00:02:41,538 --> 00:02:44,165 - Man, this is so fucked up. - [softly] I know. 69 00:02:44,165 --> 00:02:47,168 But I still had choices. [inhales] 70 00:02:47,168 --> 00:02:50,255 And I need to be doing more, Nadine. 71 00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:53,717 I gotta go after it. 72 00:02:54,467 --> 00:02:55,677 Well... 73 00:02:56,303 --> 00:03:01,433 now... you can go after it... in a brand-new Baby Bentley. 74 00:03:03,059 --> 00:03:05,270 The funeral's gonna be all hymns, no SKIMS. 75 00:03:05,270 --> 00:03:08,398 - I want the after-party to be fun. - It's not called an after-party. 76 00:03:08,398 --> 00:03:10,275 Whatever, the reception. 77 00:03:10,275 --> 00:03:11,985 I just wish we knew that she was sick. 78 00:03:11,985 --> 00:03:13,486 Then we could've planned a real rager, 79 00:03:13,486 --> 00:03:16,281 but knowing Mom, she just didn't want us to feel bad. 80 00:03:16,281 --> 00:03:18,199 Well, too late for that now. 81 00:03:18,199 --> 00:03:19,367 - For real though... - Yeah. 82 00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:21,161 - ...why haven't I cried yet? - What? 83 00:03:21,494 --> 00:03:23,496 I don't know. Am I broken? 84 00:03:23,496 --> 00:03:25,081 You have a few cracks, 85 00:03:25,081 --> 00:03:27,500 but [stammers] do you think maybe you're having some 86 00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:29,461 - regret about your last conversation? - Uh-uh, no-no, I-- 87 00:03:29,461 --> 00:03:30,795 No, I don't wanna talk about this. 88 00:03:30,795 --> 00:03:34,257 You are the one who loves to talk about feelings. 89 00:03:34,257 --> 00:03:37,719 Oh, maybe if you talk about your feelings, 90 00:03:37,719 --> 00:03:39,638 I'll recognize what one looks like in the wild. 91 00:03:39,638 --> 00:03:40,805 [both laugh] 92 00:03:40,805 --> 00:03:42,098 - Okay... - Mm-hm. 93 00:03:42,098 --> 00:03:45,185 ...I'm trying to figure out how to metabolize my grief. 94 00:03:47,020 --> 00:03:48,230 And I feel like I just wanna run out 95 00:03:48,230 --> 00:03:50,273 and tell everybody that I love how I feel about them. 96 00:03:50,273 --> 00:03:52,108 By every single person you mean Mal? 97 00:03:52,734 --> 00:03:55,487 I mean, he's one of the people. 98 00:03:55,487 --> 00:03:58,031 [scoffs] He's your person. 99 00:03:58,031 --> 00:03:59,741 [softly] He's with someone. 100 00:03:59,741 --> 00:04:02,244 Okay, I'm not telling you to go all Ariana Grande, 101 00:04:02,244 --> 00:04:04,996 but what if Mal dies tomorrow? 102 00:04:04,996 --> 00:04:06,581 That is so dark. 103 00:04:07,666 --> 00:04:08,875 Do I have to tell him? 104 00:04:08,875 --> 00:04:11,127 I think you get to tell him. 105 00:04:11,127 --> 00:04:12,837 [knocks on door] 106 00:04:13,755 --> 00:04:15,257 - Hey. - Um, I just-- 107 00:04:15,257 --> 00:04:17,300 I know this is crazy and unexpected, 108 00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:18,718 - but I just-- - [Ava] Hey, Paige! 109 00:04:18,718 --> 00:04:20,762 - Oh, hi, Ava! - Oh, my God! 110 00:04:20,762 --> 00:04:23,306 You're here! Of course. 111 00:04:23,306 --> 00:04:25,392 Just watchin' Family or Fiancé. [chuckles] 112 00:04:25,392 --> 00:04:27,686 Black love, baby. Look, I gotta pause it. 113 00:04:27,686 --> 00:04:29,271 They're about to do the blessin' ceremony. 114 00:04:29,271 --> 00:04:31,356 - Ooh. - That's a good part. 115 00:04:32,524 --> 00:04:33,733 So? 116 00:04:33,733 --> 00:04:37,028 Uh, I, I came by because [inhales] 117 00:04:37,028 --> 00:04:41,157 Finn is starting to look at colleges and, um, it's exciting, 118 00:04:41,157 --> 00:04:44,953 so I-I wanted you to maybe think about writing him a letter of recommendation? 119 00:04:44,953 --> 00:04:48,540 Yeah, of-of course. Um, do you need it soon or? 120 00:04:48,540 --> 00:04:50,375 Yeah, yeah, in probably eight months. 121 00:04:50,375 --> 00:04:51,877 - Ah, okay. - Yeah. 122 00:04:51,877 --> 00:04:55,171 - Uh, well, thanks for the heads-up. - Yeah, it's a long time, 123 00:04:55,171 --> 00:04:57,424 you know, so it can be really good. 124 00:04:57,424 --> 00:04:59,009 I-Is that it? 125 00:04:59,009 --> 00:05:01,094 - Yeah. - Okay. 126 00:05:01,469 --> 00:05:07,559 Um... so, how are you and Esti doing, Carole's death? 127 00:05:07,559 --> 00:05:09,561 I know it must be really hard. 128 00:05:10,270 --> 00:05:12,355 - I'm sorry. - [Ava] I'm sorry, too. 129 00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:15,108 Oh, th-thank you, Ava. 130 00:05:15,108 --> 00:05:18,028 You should, like, watch your show, 131 00:05:18,028 --> 00:05:21,448 - your Fiancé and Family thing, yeah. - [Mal Kennedy] Yeah. 132 00:05:21,448 --> 00:05:23,992 - [Ava] Bye, Paige! Bye! - Okay, bye, bye! 133 00:05:23,992 --> 00:05:25,911 - Peace. - [both chuckle] 134 00:05:25,911 --> 00:05:27,829 [♪ "Escape (The Piña Colada Song)" instrumental playing] 135 00:05:27,829 --> 00:05:30,332 [singing] ♪ If you like piña coladas ♪ 136 00:05:30,332 --> 00:05:34,419 ♪ And gettin' caught in the rain ♪ 137 00:05:35,212 --> 00:05:36,630 [voice echoes] How do I sound? 138 00:05:36,630 --> 00:05:38,548 Loud, woman, loud. 139 00:05:38,882 --> 00:05:40,800 I didn't even know Carole liked karaoke. 140 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:44,221 Oh, she did not. Carole did not drink, swear, or party, 141 00:05:44,221 --> 00:05:47,557 so let's celebrate a woman who lived a perfectly sober life 142 00:05:47,557 --> 00:05:49,392 by turning the fuck up. 143 00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:51,353 Yeah, I thought that funeral was kinda sad. 144 00:05:51,353 --> 00:05:52,938 - Mm. - You know, sistergirl, I gotta say, 145 00:05:52,938 --> 00:05:56,274 I think you zigzaggin' kinda in your grief, 146 00:05:56,274 --> 00:05:59,444 so you need anything... I'm here. 147 00:05:59,736 --> 00:06:01,488 You know what I need? 148 00:06:01,488 --> 00:06:02,656 What? 149 00:06:02,656 --> 00:06:04,866 Ice. I'm gonna go to the store. 150 00:06:04,866 --> 00:06:08,495 No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I got a, I got a better idea. 151 00:06:08,495 --> 00:06:10,205 Hey, Finn?! 152 00:06:11,289 --> 00:06:15,585 Been hidin' out in his room ever since... his daddy didn't show, you know, 153 00:06:15,585 --> 00:06:17,379 regressing instead of progressing. 154 00:06:19,673 --> 00:06:21,299 Yeah, you yelled? 155 00:06:21,299 --> 00:06:23,969 Yeah, I need you to go to the store, get some ice, okay? 156 00:06:23,969 --> 00:06:25,387 Uh, give him the keys. 157 00:06:25,387 --> 00:06:26,555 Yeah, this would be a good way 158 00:06:26,555 --> 00:06:29,224 for you to get your driving sea legs back under you. 159 00:06:29,224 --> 00:06:30,725 You want me to drive there? 160 00:06:30,725 --> 00:06:32,269 - Yeah. - In the car? 161 00:06:33,103 --> 00:06:35,313 - Yes. - [Finn chuckles] 162 00:06:36,189 --> 00:06:38,608 - Go on, man, you got it. - [phone ringing] 163 00:06:38,608 --> 00:06:40,527 - I believe in you, bud. - [Edwin] I do, too. 164 00:06:41,194 --> 00:06:42,195 Hello. 165 00:06:43,113 --> 00:06:45,323 Uh, you said I can handle this next week. 166 00:06:45,323 --> 00:06:46,992 No, I will be there. No. 167 00:06:46,992 --> 00:06:49,786 I, uh, gimme a c-couple hours, okay? 168 00:06:49,786 --> 00:06:51,830 Yep. No, I will see you soon. 169 00:06:51,830 --> 00:06:53,123 - Sistergirl. - Mm, mm-hm. 170 00:06:53,123 --> 00:06:54,624 - A couple shakes of this. - Mm-hm. 171 00:06:54,624 --> 00:06:56,626 Top on, in the refrigerator. 172 00:06:56,626 --> 00:06:58,795 - Don't mess up my food now. - Got it, got it, got it. 173 00:06:58,795 --> 00:07:00,589 - Shake, top on, don't mess it up. - Okay. 174 00:07:02,757 --> 00:07:04,384 There you are. 175 00:07:04,968 --> 00:07:06,177 Hi. 176 00:07:06,928 --> 00:07:09,556 Finn, how are you doing? 177 00:07:09,556 --> 00:07:12,434 Just 'cause I know funerals can be kind of intense. 178 00:07:12,434 --> 00:07:13,768 I didn't really know her. 179 00:07:14,144 --> 00:07:17,230 I'm just glad that she didn't die in my room. 180 00:07:17,230 --> 00:07:19,316 - No offense. - None taken. 181 00:07:19,733 --> 00:07:21,484 Honey, do you think that maybe you could come down 182 00:07:21,484 --> 00:07:23,778 for just a little bit when people get here? 183 00:07:23,778 --> 00:07:26,781 Uh, yeah, maybe. I just-- I kinda prefer to backslide 184 00:07:26,781 --> 00:07:28,366 in the privacy of my own room. 185 00:07:28,992 --> 00:07:29,993 - So, no? - No. 186 00:07:29,993 --> 00:07:32,537 Honey, I-- When I said backslide, I was not-- 187 00:07:32,537 --> 00:07:33,622 - Baby. - Yes? 188 00:07:33,622 --> 00:07:36,291 Um, I got the brisket on cruise control. 189 00:07:36,291 --> 00:07:38,460 - Everything else, ready to go. - No, where are you going? 190 00:07:38,460 --> 00:07:40,503 We have people coming here after church. 191 00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:43,924 I know, somethin' came up and I gotta handle it, like, right now. 192 00:07:43,924 --> 00:07:46,134 - No. - Nadine gon' give a ride and, uh-- 193 00:07:46,134 --> 00:07:48,845 - What, Nadine?! - Don't gimme a hard time, baby-- 194 00:07:48,845 --> 00:07:50,138 I thought that that was done. 195 00:07:50,138 --> 00:07:51,223 - It's a ride, baby. - Okay. 196 00:07:51,223 --> 00:07:53,516 - That's all it is, a ride. - Okay, but where are you-- 197 00:07:54,726 --> 00:07:55,936 [fake chuckle] 198 00:08:00,190 --> 00:08:02,817 - [person sighs] - Good afternoon. 199 00:08:02,817 --> 00:08:04,319 - Hello. - Yes. 200 00:08:05,070 --> 00:08:09,074 Uh, so, in here, I have my written test, my, um, proof of residency, 201 00:08:09,074 --> 00:08:11,660 my travel letter, and my birth certificate 202 00:08:11,660 --> 00:08:15,288 I went all the way to Alabama to get, but that didn't work out. 203 00:08:15,288 --> 00:08:17,749 I just do the wr-- driving test. 204 00:08:18,166 --> 00:08:19,584 I apologize. 205 00:08:19,918 --> 00:08:23,922 This was a last-minute appointment, so I'm... a little nervous, you know? 206 00:08:23,922 --> 00:08:25,507 Well, let's just start. 207 00:08:25,507 --> 00:08:27,759 You are going to drive forward, 208 00:08:27,759 --> 00:08:29,928 and then you'll just make a left at the stop sign. 209 00:08:29,928 --> 00:08:32,764 - Gotcha. Okay. - [engine starts] 210 00:08:32,764 --> 00:08:34,474 - [Edwin sighs] - [engine revs loudly] 211 00:08:34,474 --> 00:08:38,228 Ooh. Ah, I'm sorry. This not my vehicle. 212 00:08:38,228 --> 00:08:40,188 I borrowed it from a friend. 213 00:08:40,188 --> 00:08:42,482 Actually my ex. [chuckles] 214 00:08:42,482 --> 00:08:45,235 You know what, I'm just gonna go. 215 00:08:47,404 --> 00:08:49,489 - [tires screech, engine revs] - Oh, whoa! 216 00:08:49,489 --> 00:08:51,950 This baby got some giddy-up... uh. 217 00:08:51,950 --> 00:08:54,035 - [pen scratches paper] - Actually, I-- 218 00:08:54,035 --> 00:08:56,997 - [turns off engine] - I need a minute, yeah. 219 00:08:56,997 --> 00:09:00,208 I was at a funeral... earlier today 220 00:09:00,208 --> 00:09:05,046 and, and I was supposed to be catering the reception and-- 221 00:09:05,046 --> 00:09:07,132 but my driver's license... 222 00:09:08,425 --> 00:09:10,051 is my next step. 223 00:09:12,262 --> 00:09:15,599 This is totally inappropriate, but, um... 224 00:09:16,182 --> 00:09:18,393 they don't make it easy for formerly incarcerated 225 00:09:18,393 --> 00:09:21,438 to get their lives back together. 226 00:09:21,438 --> 00:09:24,441 So that's why you haven't had a license since 2006? 227 00:09:24,441 --> 00:09:27,485 Yes, ma'am. I lost a lotta life. 228 00:09:30,947 --> 00:09:33,783 'Til right now, you know? 229 00:09:38,997 --> 00:09:40,415 My brother did time. 230 00:09:42,626 --> 00:09:43,627 Oh. 231 00:09:44,002 --> 00:09:47,047 Uh, how's-how's he-- how's he doin'? Is he, he doin' okay? 232 00:09:49,216 --> 00:09:51,134 It ain't easy, ma'am. 233 00:09:51,134 --> 00:09:54,221 Well, uh, Mr. Alexander... 234 00:09:55,055 --> 00:09:56,890 I want this for you too, 235 00:09:56,890 --> 00:10:01,645 so just don't run over any cones or flags or people. 236 00:10:01,645 --> 00:10:04,731 - I really am an excellent driver, ma'am. - Okay. 237 00:10:05,523 --> 00:10:07,734 And I am ready to progress. 238 00:10:08,526 --> 00:10:10,362 [engine starts] 239 00:10:10,362 --> 00:10:12,113 [doorbell ringing] 240 00:10:12,113 --> 00:10:15,992 I'll get it. I'll get it. Esti, I'll get it. I got it. 241 00:10:16,243 --> 00:10:19,621 [Esti Nelson] Oh. Ice, ice baby. Busted. 242 00:10:19,621 --> 00:10:21,957 Anxiety takes another W, huh? 243 00:10:21,957 --> 00:10:23,458 What's going on? 244 00:10:26,127 --> 00:10:28,797 Esti, did you grow up in a barn? [chuckles] 245 00:10:28,797 --> 00:10:31,967 - [Mal] Wait, wait, wait. Hold up! - Oh, Go-- Sorry. I'm sorry. 246 00:10:31,967 --> 00:10:33,093 - Come on in. - I-I'm sorry. 247 00:10:33,093 --> 00:10:35,512 I, I wanted to pay my respects. 248 00:10:36,137 --> 00:10:37,222 Carole was a wonderful person 249 00:10:37,222 --> 00:10:40,308 - and she raised an amazing woman, so. - Yeah, Esti is amazing. 250 00:10:40,308 --> 00:10:43,019 - Paige. - Sorry. Thank you. 251 00:10:43,019 --> 00:10:44,938 Look, I know you're hurting, 252 00:10:44,938 --> 00:10:47,524 okay, but there are people that care about you. 253 00:10:47,524 --> 00:10:48,650 I want you to know that. 254 00:10:48,650 --> 00:10:51,361 - Mal, how 'bout a duet? - Um-- 255 00:10:51,361 --> 00:10:55,740 Um, can you please distract Esti so she doesn't make Pastor Nelson sing again? 256 00:10:55,740 --> 00:10:59,369 Because he's very tired and very sad and he can't hold a tune. 257 00:10:59,369 --> 00:11:03,206 [singing off-key] ♪ Did you ever know that you're my hero? ♪ 258 00:11:03,206 --> 00:11:05,834 - Sure. Mm-hm. - Thank you. 259 00:11:05,834 --> 00:11:10,672 Oh, wow! Look who's back from their secret errand. 260 00:11:10,672 --> 00:11:12,507 - [Paige chuckles] - Babygirl, I didn't have a choice. 261 00:11:12,507 --> 00:11:14,426 - This is somethin' I had-- - Dad, it's fine. We survived, 262 00:11:14,426 --> 00:11:16,136 but you do need to get more mac and cheese 263 00:11:16,136 --> 00:11:19,472 - on the table though, ASAP. - Okay. I'd be happy to. 264 00:11:19,472 --> 00:11:22,434 - Thank you. - Oh, now, Nadine... 265 00:11:23,059 --> 00:11:24,269 thank you. 266 00:11:24,519 --> 00:11:26,646 - You're welcome. - Thank you. 267 00:11:28,732 --> 00:11:29,733 Okay. 268 00:11:29,733 --> 00:11:31,735 [Pastor Nelson singing] 269 00:11:31,735 --> 00:11:34,905 Do you wanna take off your coat and stay awhile? 270 00:11:34,905 --> 00:11:37,324 - Really? - [chuckles] Yes. 271 00:11:37,324 --> 00:11:39,326 There's plenty of food, obviously. 272 00:11:39,326 --> 00:11:41,745 Ah. How 'bout eligible bachelors? 273 00:11:41,745 --> 00:11:42,996 Any of those? 274 00:11:42,996 --> 00:11:45,290 Uh... Pastor Nelson? 275 00:11:45,832 --> 00:11:49,085 ♪ 'Cause you are the wind ♪ 276 00:11:49,085 --> 00:11:52,005 - ♪ Beneath my wings ♪ - Too soon. 277 00:11:52,005 --> 00:11:53,131 [chuckles] 278 00:11:53,131 --> 00:11:56,468 - Uh, hello, everyone. - Oh, oh. I think we're gathering. 279 00:11:56,468 --> 00:12:01,389 Ah. Yeah, before we continue the karaoke portion of the after-party, 280 00:12:01,389 --> 00:12:06,102 and, yes, everyone must sing, I thought I should say a few words. 281 00:12:06,102 --> 00:12:08,980 My mom always had my back. 282 00:12:08,980 --> 00:12:12,817 Like, when she wrote my third grade teacher, Mrs. Rice, 283 00:12:12,817 --> 00:12:15,528 a devastatingly passive aggressive letter 284 00:12:15,528 --> 00:12:19,241 saying that my times tables were just fine, thank you. 285 00:12:19,241 --> 00:12:23,161 - It was a gentle aggression. - [Esti] That's just who she was, a saint. 286 00:12:23,161 --> 00:12:24,454 And I... 287 00:12:25,372 --> 00:12:27,207 I suck. 288 00:12:27,207 --> 00:12:30,418 I'm serious. The, the last time Mom saw me, 289 00:12:30,418 --> 00:12:32,879 I-I was spitting into a tube 290 00:12:32,879 --> 00:12:37,801 like I-I wasn't related to the mother I had right in front of me. 291 00:12:37,801 --> 00:12:40,428 A-And I will never get to hug her again. 292 00:12:40,428 --> 00:12:43,306 And guess what? I haven't even cried yet. 293 00:12:43,306 --> 00:12:44,975 Right? Like-like-like-like if this were a movie, 294 00:12:44,975 --> 00:12:46,810 I would be crying right now, right? 295 00:12:46,810 --> 00:12:48,728 - Like, mm, mm-hm. - [softly] I'ma step in. 296 00:12:48,728 --> 00:12:52,107 Nope, I am aaall spit and no tears. 297 00:12:52,107 --> 00:12:54,401 - Nope. No, not today. Uh-huh? - [whispers] ...take a break. 298 00:12:54,401 --> 00:12:56,736 - No, no. I-I haven't sung my song yet. - There'll be time for that. 299 00:12:56,736 --> 00:12:58,863 - There'll be time. - Okay. Okay. 300 00:12:58,863 --> 00:13:01,533 Thank you, Esti, that was so beautiful. 301 00:13:01,533 --> 00:13:05,370 If I could just add a word or two? Okay. Thank you. 302 00:13:05,370 --> 00:13:10,917 I think part of what Esti was getting at is that, um, 303 00:13:10,917 --> 00:13:15,380 our mother really... lived to love. 304 00:13:15,380 --> 00:13:18,383 And-And I-I don't mean love like the-the feeling. 305 00:13:18,383 --> 00:13:20,176 I mean, love as a verb, right? 306 00:13:20,176 --> 00:13:22,804 Because love as a verb, is what you do. 307 00:13:22,804 --> 00:13:27,100 And, um, she... she did everything. 308 00:13:27,100 --> 00:13:29,769 She took us in. 309 00:13:29,769 --> 00:13:33,356 And she had a heart that was just so 310 00:13:33,356 --> 00:13:37,652 open, and vulnerable, and generous. 311 00:13:37,652 --> 00:13:40,447 Probably a lot of times when it-it would have felt 312 00:13:40,447 --> 00:13:44,534 much less scary not to be, um. 313 00:13:45,035 --> 00:13:47,787 But, you know, love as a verb is about knowing 314 00:13:47,787 --> 00:13:51,458 that there's no after-party in life, 315 00:13:51,458 --> 00:13:55,587 so you, you just have to love now, 316 00:13:55,587 --> 00:13:57,380 while you can. 317 00:13:57,380 --> 00:13:58,673 Um... 318 00:13:58,673 --> 00:14:00,759 [♪ light music playing] 319 00:14:00,759 --> 00:14:02,677 before it's too late. 320 00:14:04,137 --> 00:14:07,057 I think that's something that Carole really understood, 321 00:14:07,057 --> 00:14:09,351 and... [inhales] 322 00:14:09,351 --> 00:14:12,729 I think it's something that I am starting to understand now. 323 00:14:12,729 --> 00:14:15,607 ♪ 324 00:14:19,778 --> 00:14:23,448 Um, so, thank you so much, everybody, for coming. 325 00:14:23,448 --> 00:14:25,784 I really appreciate it. And-And, um, for karaoke, 326 00:14:25,784 --> 00:14:28,995 maybe everybody can just line up in this room. 327 00:14:28,995 --> 00:14:30,664 Um, thank you. 328 00:14:30,664 --> 00:14:32,958 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 329 00:14:32,958 --> 00:14:36,044 Hey, hey, hey, wait, please. [sighs] 330 00:14:36,878 --> 00:14:41,132 - Paige, that was beautiful, but, like-- - Just hear me out, okay? 331 00:14:42,133 --> 00:14:44,135 I have been doing all of this work on myself, 332 00:14:44,135 --> 00:14:45,845 and I think that it has really allowed me 333 00:14:45,845 --> 00:14:47,931 to see you for who you really are, 334 00:14:47,931 --> 00:14:50,350 and you are amazing. 335 00:14:50,350 --> 00:14:52,644 You're such a good friend, you're a grounded partner, 336 00:14:52,644 --> 00:14:56,356 you see me, I think, like, really Into-Me-You-See, 337 00:14:56,356 --> 00:14:58,441 and I feel connected to you in all the right ways. 338 00:14:58,441 --> 00:15:00,151 Like, here and here and here. 339 00:15:00,151 --> 00:15:02,571 Paige, I don't think you really know what you're saying right now. 340 00:15:02,571 --> 00:15:05,699 I'm completely certain of what I'm saying. 341 00:15:05,699 --> 00:15:07,701 I'm, I'm sorry. 342 00:15:07,701 --> 00:15:10,787 - What does that mean? - I gotta go. 343 00:15:12,163 --> 00:15:13,999 [door closes] 344 00:15:13,999 --> 00:15:16,084 [indistinct chatter] 345 00:15:18,211 --> 00:15:22,424 - [microphone squeals] - Oh! Oh, God. [mouths] Oh, God. [sighs] 346 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:30,682 [video game sounds] 347 00:15:33,476 --> 00:15:35,020 Heard about the ice. 348 00:15:39,441 --> 00:15:40,942 Hey, Finn... 349 00:15:44,529 --> 00:15:48,366 one thing I learned about love, family... 350 00:15:51,745 --> 00:15:56,875 the... disappointment, it's unavoidable, man. 351 00:15:56,875 --> 00:15:59,961 'Cause all folks, they are just... 352 00:16:00,879 --> 00:16:02,672 f-flawed as hell. 353 00:16:03,131 --> 00:16:06,051 - You're not. - [laughs] Come on, man. 354 00:16:06,051 --> 00:16:09,304 I know I've let down the folk I care about. 355 00:16:09,304 --> 00:16:14,017 I let your mama down, over and over and over again. 356 00:16:14,935 --> 00:16:18,772 And all kind of folk have let me down, believe that. 357 00:16:18,772 --> 00:16:21,608 But it doesn't affect the love, Finn. 358 00:16:22,901 --> 00:16:25,528 Now, I know it didn't work out the way you wanted. 359 00:16:26,529 --> 00:16:29,449 I am so proud of you for reachin' out to your dad. 360 00:16:29,449 --> 00:16:33,245 For somebody who's so-called scared of everything, 361 00:16:33,245 --> 00:16:36,206 Finn, you did the hardest thing possible. 362 00:16:36,206 --> 00:16:39,501 You put yourself out there. 363 00:16:39,501 --> 00:16:42,712 Now you can do that? You can do anything. 364 00:16:46,591 --> 00:16:50,345 - Oh... should I help? - I got it. [chuckles] 365 00:16:50,679 --> 00:16:52,180 My condolences again. 366 00:16:52,180 --> 00:16:54,099 Okay. Thank you. 367 00:16:56,643 --> 00:16:58,186 And I liked your speech. 368 00:16:58,770 --> 00:17:00,855 - Thanks. - To Mal. 369 00:17:02,524 --> 00:17:04,442 Carole would've been proud. 370 00:17:05,402 --> 00:17:06,945 And I'm proud. 371 00:17:09,447 --> 00:17:11,950 Well... I don't think Mal liked it. 372 00:17:11,950 --> 00:17:16,246 - I mean, he just walked out, so. - You know what, Paige? 373 00:17:16,705 --> 00:17:19,708 You're kind of unforgiving, somewhat judgmental, 374 00:17:19,708 --> 00:17:22,210 - and a bit of a know-it-all... - That was rude. 375 00:17:22,210 --> 00:17:26,131 ...but Mal would be a fool not to be with you. 376 00:17:29,926 --> 00:17:31,928 I'm glad you stayed. 377 00:17:32,679 --> 00:17:36,683 Well... I am kinda the only mom you have left. 378 00:17:37,309 --> 00:17:38,518 Oh, God. 379 00:17:38,518 --> 00:17:42,606 - Oh, that's kind of true. - Hm. Mm-hm. 380 00:17:42,606 --> 00:17:45,901 [♪ "So My Darling" by Rachel Chinouriri playing] 381 00:17:46,443 --> 00:17:47,861 [sighs] 382 00:17:49,487 --> 00:17:51,031 [softly] Rawr. 383 00:17:51,031 --> 00:17:56,119 Hey. I'm sorry I put you on blast with the whole ice thing. 384 00:17:57,078 --> 00:17:58,705 Nah, it's cool. 385 00:17:58,705 --> 00:18:05,795 Just, um... you know, sometimes, my brain makes small things impossible. 386 00:18:05,795 --> 00:18:09,299 Even though I've done much harder things than drive two blocks for ice. 387 00:18:09,299 --> 00:18:11,676 Eh, I shouldn't put ice in my chardonnay anyway. 388 00:18:11,676 --> 00:18:13,094 Makes me look trashier than I am. 389 00:18:13,094 --> 00:18:16,306 I just feel bad that I disappointed you guys, you know? 390 00:18:16,306 --> 00:18:21,478 But, uh, Grandpa said that part of being in a family is disappointment. 391 00:18:21,478 --> 00:18:23,480 But he made it sound way more hopeful. 392 00:18:23,939 --> 00:18:26,358 Yeah, he was all like... [clears throat] 393 00:18:27,234 --> 00:18:29,236 [mimics Edwin] "Finneas James, 394 00:18:29,236 --> 00:18:30,987 "part of love, 395 00:18:30,987 --> 00:18:34,449 "part of family is disappointment. 396 00:18:34,699 --> 00:18:37,619 Because all folk flawed as hell." 397 00:18:37,619 --> 00:18:38,828 ♪ 398 00:18:38,828 --> 00:18:42,749 [chuckles] You know, it doesn't mean that, um... 399 00:18:42,749 --> 00:18:44,834 doesn't mean that you don't love them 400 00:18:44,834 --> 00:18:47,170 and it doesn't mean that they don't love you. 401 00:18:47,462 --> 00:18:49,464 Or somethin' like that. 402 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:53,802 [chuckles, sniffles] 403 00:18:54,719 --> 00:18:59,099 [emotional] You're s-- You're so right. I, um, I loved Mom. 404 00:18:59,099 --> 00:19:00,433 And she loved me. 405 00:19:00,433 --> 00:19:03,728 W-Was, was she disappointed I-I wanted to find my birth family? 406 00:19:03,728 --> 00:19:06,815 Yeah. Yeah, she was. [inhales] 407 00:19:07,190 --> 00:19:12,612 But, but then she died and... she died feeling terrible. 408 00:19:14,573 --> 00:19:18,118 But-But that doesn't mean I-I shouldn't follow through 409 00:19:18,118 --> 00:19:19,703 because she's gone now. 410 00:19:19,703 --> 00:19:24,416 And me not sending in a tube of my spit isn't gonna bring her back. 411 00:19:24,416 --> 00:19:27,502 - Oh, God. Um. - [Esti sobbing] 412 00:19:29,504 --> 00:19:31,006 Aunt Esti, are you okay? 413 00:19:31,006 --> 00:19:35,093 Totally! No-no-no-no-no. C-Crying was the goal. 414 00:19:35,844 --> 00:19:38,263 - [softly] Okay. Yeah. - Thank you. 415 00:19:39,264 --> 00:19:42,267 [♪ gentle music playing] 416 00:19:42,267 --> 00:19:43,977 [typing] 417 00:19:44,436 --> 00:19:45,645 [Edwin] How you doin', babygirl? 418 00:19:45,645 --> 00:19:49,232 You mean because of my very public humiliation? 419 00:19:50,609 --> 00:19:53,695 You know, it actually led to a revelation with my book proposal, 420 00:19:53,695 --> 00:19:56,781 so it's not just about dating with daddy issues. 421 00:19:56,781 --> 00:20:01,286 It's about Living and Loving and Losing... 422 00:20:02,329 --> 00:20:03,830 with Daddy Issues. 423 00:20:03,830 --> 00:20:08,501 You know how they say, um... you know, "It'll be alright in the end"? 424 00:20:09,544 --> 00:20:11,004 If it ain't alright... 425 00:20:12,714 --> 00:20:14,591 that means it ain't the end. 426 00:20:18,178 --> 00:20:19,763 That's good. 427 00:20:19,763 --> 00:20:21,056 - [Paige chuckles] - Hm. 428 00:20:21,056 --> 00:20:23,975 - Can I add that? - You know, I'ma charge you. 429 00:20:23,975 --> 00:20:26,228 [both laughing] 430 00:20:26,228 --> 00:20:30,023 - Hey, um, if you got a minute, baby-- - Oh, it's not a good time. 431 00:20:30,023 --> 00:20:33,443 - Dad, I'm, I'm right-- - Just a, just a... 432 00:20:34,110 --> 00:20:36,321 - Okay. - And it's only a few miles away. 433 00:20:36,321 --> 00:20:38,823 - I have to drive? - No. 434 00:20:42,327 --> 00:20:43,328 I'll be drivin'. 435 00:20:45,205 --> 00:20:48,458 [♪ "Groceries" by CARRTOONS & Nigel Hall playing] 436 00:20:48,458 --> 00:20:50,293 Yeah, I know my timing wasn't great, 437 00:20:50,293 --> 00:20:54,798 but... I was in a bidding war on this baby. 438 00:20:55,924 --> 00:20:58,385 Owner almost gave it to the other guy. 439 00:20:58,969 --> 00:21:02,973 And that's why I had to get my driver's license today. 440 00:21:04,683 --> 00:21:06,977 I'm takin' that next step, y'all. 441 00:21:08,562 --> 00:21:10,188 I ain't holdin' back. 442 00:21:10,188 --> 00:21:13,191 I'm gonna be the father ya always needed me to be. 443 00:21:13,191 --> 00:21:15,402 Did you give up your steady job 444 00:21:15,402 --> 00:21:18,697 - with decent pay for this next step? - [Finn scoffs] 445 00:21:18,697 --> 00:21:20,407 - What? - I got you, babygirl. 446 00:21:20,407 --> 00:21:22,450 As a matter of fact, no, I am not. 447 00:21:23,577 --> 00:21:25,579 I'm workin' two jobs... 448 00:21:26,288 --> 00:21:27,789 'til I know I got this. 449 00:21:27,789 --> 00:21:30,917 Then I support you, Dad, 100%. 450 00:21:30,917 --> 00:21:32,794 - This is dope, Grandpa. - Right? 451 00:21:32,794 --> 00:21:35,630 - You're following your dream. - Yeah, I am. 452 00:21:35,630 --> 00:21:38,800 - [Edwin play fighting] - [laughter] 453 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,761 [Edwin grunts, laughs] 454 00:21:41,761 --> 00:21:44,306 Man, you guys have been doin' all kinds of stuff with your grief. 455 00:21:44,806 --> 00:21:50,437 You know, I'm wondering, if maybe I could... drive us home? 456 00:21:52,147 --> 00:21:55,150 - You think you ready? - Yeah. I mean, it's not about waiting 457 00:21:55,150 --> 00:21:58,236 for the anxious thing to go away, right? 458 00:21:58,778 --> 00:22:01,531 It's about doin' shit while anxious. 459 00:22:01,531 --> 00:22:04,826 - Come on now. Go 'head, man. - Oh, oh, no. No-no-no-no-no. 460 00:22:04,826 --> 00:22:07,954 I, I love you both so much. Super proud of you. 461 00:22:07,954 --> 00:22:12,876 But I think that maybe you should start with the Volvo and not Grandpa's truck. 462 00:22:12,876 --> 00:22:14,044 - It's-- - Deal. 463 00:22:14,044 --> 00:22:16,546 - Oh, did I just get had? - Go. Go. 464 00:22:16,546 --> 00:22:18,632 - Did he-- - Go to the Volvo, brother. 465 00:22:18,632 --> 00:22:21,927 [♪ "I Got Sunshine" by Avery*Sunshine playing] 466 00:22:21,927 --> 00:22:26,097 [Paige] Today has been [chuckling] a tornado. 467 00:22:26,097 --> 00:22:30,393 But I learned recently that you are supposed to gargle your grief. 468 00:22:30,393 --> 00:22:34,606 You have to sit with it and swish it around and... [sighs] 469 00:22:34,606 --> 00:22:37,150 let it heal you on the inside, I guess, I don't know. 470 00:22:37,150 --> 00:22:41,071 But [laughs] maybe that's how grief works, right? 471 00:22:41,071 --> 00:22:46,660 It-It is-- it's here to teach us how to live, today, 472 00:22:46,660 --> 00:22:49,663 as if the after-party is now. 473 00:22:50,288 --> 00:22:51,498 So... 474 00:22:52,165 --> 00:22:54,668 yeah, go a-- go ahead and... 475 00:22:54,668 --> 00:22:57,963 sing Baby Got Back at your [laughs] mom's funeral, 476 00:22:57,963 --> 00:23:03,051 and buy a food truck, and go on a Rumspringa. 477 00:23:03,927 --> 00:23:08,139 Do the thing that you are afraid to do. 478 00:23:08,139 --> 00:23:11,059 You know, tell people that you love them. 479 00:23:11,059 --> 00:23:14,437 Even the ones... that don't feel the same. 480 00:23:14,437 --> 00:23:17,148 Because, in the end, you could-- 481 00:23:17,148 --> 00:23:19,442 - [Mal] Paige. - Hey. Hi. 482 00:23:20,277 --> 00:23:22,988 Um, what are you doing here? 483 00:23:22,988 --> 00:23:26,116 I, um, I just needed time to process. 484 00:23:26,116 --> 00:23:29,077 I know, I put you on the spot. It was a hard sell. I'm so sorry. 485 00:23:29,077 --> 00:23:30,245 - I didn't mean to dump all my-- - Sold. 486 00:23:30,245 --> 00:23:33,164 - I'm sorry, did you say-- - Sold. 487 00:23:36,293 --> 00:23:40,922 I needed time to think, and I needed to break up with Ava. 488 00:23:40,922 --> 00:23:43,967 - Did you do that? - I did because 489 00:23:43,967 --> 00:23:47,679 how I feel about you was not fair to her. 490 00:23:49,097 --> 00:23:50,307 Mal... 491 00:23:50,682 --> 00:23:51,892 [sighs] 492 00:23:54,019 --> 00:23:55,896 I wanna try again. 493 00:23:57,606 --> 00:24:00,233 I gotta be honest, that sounds pretty terrifying. 494 00:24:00,233 --> 00:24:04,237 [laughs] I know. I'm terrified too. 495 00:24:04,237 --> 00:24:06,156 But I feel like... 496 00:24:07,908 --> 00:24:11,369 we could do it differently this time? 497 00:24:11,620 --> 00:24:13,622 Maybe we just take it slow. 498 00:24:13,622 --> 00:24:16,124 I've never done slow a day in my life, 499 00:24:16,124 --> 00:24:18,376 - [chuckles] but... - Mm. 500 00:24:18,376 --> 00:24:20,295 ...I could try... 501 00:24:21,046 --> 00:24:22,464 for you... 502 00:24:23,423 --> 00:24:24,841 for us. 503 00:24:25,383 --> 00:24:28,011 You know, for this. [chuckles] 504 00:24:28,011 --> 00:24:31,264 [♪ soft music playing] 505 00:24:32,057 --> 00:24:33,683 [Paige moans] 506 00:24:38,146 --> 00:24:39,648 - [Edwin] [whispers] Paige. - [knocks on door] 507 00:24:39,648 --> 00:24:43,568 Nope. No. No! [laughing] Dad. 508 00:24:43,568 --> 00:24:45,487 Come on. [laughs] 509 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:51,409 What's wrong? 510 00:24:51,409 --> 00:24:52,994 Somebody's here. 511 00:24:53,536 --> 00:24:54,788 Who? 512 00:24:56,498 --> 00:24:57,958 Your mom. 513 00:25:01,419 --> 00:25:02,837 Wait. What now? 514 00:25:02,837 --> 00:25:04,631 ♪ Baby ♪ 515 00:25:04,631 --> 00:25:07,926 [♪ "All I Ever Wanted" by Lenny Kravitz playing] 516 00:25:10,470 --> 00:25:13,890 ♪ Can't keep on runnin' ♪ 517 00:25:15,850 --> 00:25:22,857 ♪ All I want you to do is to feel with me ♪ 518 00:25:22,857 --> 00:25:24,776 ♪ Yeah ♪ 519 00:25:29,030 --> 00:25:32,242 ♪ We both are hurtin' ♪ 520 00:25:34,494 --> 00:25:38,123 ♪ And it's gonna take a little time ♪ 521 00:25:40,542 --> 00:25:45,755 ♪ To heal all the wounds and save our family ♪ 522 00:25:46,214 --> 00:25:48,049 [spray paint can hissing] 523 00:25:49,217 --> 00:25:51,219 [speaker] Woo-hoo!