1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,000
How about we put
some of your stuff away?

2
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:08,160
I love this guy. I think you sound
a bit too much now.

3
00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:10,120
Shall I replace it with something
else?

4
00:00:10,120 --> 00:00:12,200
BOTH: Hell... of...a... view.

5
00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:14,520
Helluva view. That's nice,
I like that.

6
00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:19,240
Congratulations.

7
00:00:19,240 --> 00:00:20,520
A smart suit, yeah?

8
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:21,880
He bought a singing machine!

9
00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:24,560
You know what? I think I'm ready
to meet your parents.

10
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,200
CAMERAS CLICK

11
00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:30,440
Mum, this is so amazing.

12
00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:34,200
I'm so proud of you.
Double page spread, mashallah!

13
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,400
OK, lovely.

14
00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:36,520
Few more.

15
00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:38,760
Just a little less smiley.

16
00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:41,400
Oh, you want us to be sad?

17
00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:43,480
No, just not... happy.

18
00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:48,800
By the way, my boyfriend Guy
might come to dinner tonight, OK?

19
00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:53,400
Wait, wait. I just remembered...
I'm busy tonight.

20
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,920
Got it. Yeah, lovely. Thanks.

21
00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:57,520
Thank you! Thanks.

22
00:00:57,520 --> 00:01:00,120
Hold on, hold on.
Mum, we planned this.

23
00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:02,880
I'm busy.

24
00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:08,360
Fine, I'll come to your dinner.

25
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:11,200
Is Guy paying? I wasn't inviting you.

26
00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:14,560
CHOIR: # Ring, ring! ♪

27
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:16,920
Hey! Hello, sexy snuggle puff.

28
00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:19,440
I'll take it, cheeky boy.
Listen, about dinner tonight...

29
00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:20,520
I booked a table for 7pm

30
00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:22,480
at that really nice Lebanese restaurant

31
00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:24,480
and I am so excited to meet them, Jamma.

32
00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:28,360
OK... What, what?

33
00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:31,960
Um, well, I was just making sure
that, you know,

34
00:01:31,960 --> 00:01:34,560
it won't be too hectic
with your performance tonight.

35
00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:35,880
Oh, no, I need a distraction.

36
00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:37,600
I'd just be sat at home getting nervous.

37
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:39,560
Look, I am so touched
you want to do this with me.

38
00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:42,360
I know you've not had the easiest
relationship with your parents,

39
00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:45,520
but... you do realise you're
changing the course of history

40
00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:46,880
in your family now?

41
00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:50,480
Yeah.

42
00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:51,640
I am, aren't I?

43
00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:53,320
Yeah.

44
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:56,240
Helluva view. Helluva view too.

45
00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:58,560
CHOIR: Ahhh!

46
00:01:58,560 --> 00:01:59,840
Please come.

47
00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:00,960
SINGING ON TV

48
00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:04,960
Oh, look, one of my old movies
is playing in here.

49
00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:07,240
What a coincidence.

50
00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:08,680
Oh, that's you? Yes.

51
00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:11,560
I acted in more than 45 films.

52
00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:12,920
Wow.

53
00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:14,440
Can I ask you about...

54
00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:17,120
Let me show you my headshots, please.

55
00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:20,960
This way, this way.

56
00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:34,760
Today, I want you to paint
what you see in the chair.

57
00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:36,320
Oh!

58
00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:39,360
Me, I see nothing.
Then paint nothing.

59
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:43,040
People come from all over the world
for my acting classes. Wow.

60
00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:45,360
From where? Wapping, mainly.

61
00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:47,360
Hi!

62
00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:48,720
What are you painting?

63
00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:51,440
My beauty spot icon,
Farida Jamshidi.

64
00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:52,880
Oh!

65
00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:55,120
Uncle, I like it, I do.

66
00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:57,280
But you can do so much less.

67
00:02:57,280 --> 00:02:58,400
Mum, can I have a word?

68
00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:02,640
My son Jamal. He's a very
successful CEO of a yoghurt company.

69
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:03,680
Wow.

70
00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:18,640
Dad, I said smart suit.

71
00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:21,000
This is smart. It's fancy dress, man.

72
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,800
Yes, fancy.

73
00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:36,880
Look, we have top modern
game facilities here,

74
00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:38,720
especially for the children.

75
00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:40,080
That's amazing.

76
00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:42,640
I think it's so important
that kids get to be kids.

77
00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:44,440
You can appeal to the first-tier
tribunal

78
00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,400
for the Immigration
and Asylum Chamber.

79
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,680
Yeah, but that's
£80 without the hearing.

80
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:51,520
Mum, I need to talk to you.

81
00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:54,600
Jamal is the football manager.

82
00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:56,200
You volunteer your time for free?

83
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:57,280
I do, actually, yeah.

84
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,800
I'm always going out of my way

85
00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:01,120
to help my mum in any way I can,
aren't I, Mum? Yeah.

86
00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:04,360
I'm sure you would do
the same for me. Yeah!

87
00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:05,520
Aww.

88
00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:08,080
HE WHISPERS: Mum, what's going on?

89
00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:10,200
What? I've already promised Guy.

90
00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,360
He's all excited.
That's not my fault.

91
00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:14,200
It would mean a lot to me.

92
00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:15,680
You think you are so special.

93
00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:17,000
Hello.

94
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,480
What game are you playing?

95
00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:19,760
Bureaucracy.

96
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,040
I don't think I know that one.

97
00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:24,760
If you're not going to meet him,

98
00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,800
at least have the courage
to tell me why.

99
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,480
OK, fine. I'll say the reason.

100
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:30,320
And if it's the right one,
you blink.

101
00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:32,320
Is it because he's white?

102
00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:36,440
OK. Is it because he's vegetarian?

103
00:04:38,840 --> 00:04:41,400
Is it because I'm living
with him instead of you?

104
00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:43,400
You can't just blink on every one.

105
00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:45,240
It's natural.

106
00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:46,720
This ain't a zoo, lady!

107
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,600
Is it because he is a he?

108
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,400
I knew it! Mum,
I'm not going to let you do this.

109
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,120
I need to change the course
of history.

110
00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:57,720
Enough. I'm not meeting your friend.
Topic closed.

111
00:04:57,720 --> 00:04:59,240
OK.

112
00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:00,600
Thank you, Farida.

113
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:01,840
I think that's it.

114
00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:02,960
Oh, not that's it.

115
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,440
I haven't shown you
my GNVQ certificates.

116
00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:07,120
Come, come. Come!

117
00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:10,960
I was also a presenter
on Lahore Radio in 1972...

118
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:14,720
CHEESY LOUNGE MUSIC PLAYS

119
00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:17,560
Oh!

120
00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:20,080
Sorry, I was looking for the toilet.

121
00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,800
Actually, do you mind if I ask you
a few questions?

122
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:26,480
Have you had any
letters from the council recently?

123
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:28,120
Uh...

124
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:32,640
How long has the centre
been running? A long time.

125
00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:34,640
And you do the admin?

126
00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:35,760
My wife's centre.

127
00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:38,960
Yeah, I know about her, extensively.

128
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,480
What about you?

129
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:43,560
You're an Elvis fan?

130
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:44,800
Who is Elvis?

131
00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:47,600
Your favourite singer, I assume.

132
00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:48,680
Michael George.

133
00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:50,080
Oh!

134
00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:51,960
It's George Michael.

135
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:54,120
You like Michael George?

136
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,240
Yeah.

137
00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:57,560
Michael George. OK.

138
00:05:57,560 --> 00:06:01,480
Er... it was nice to chat to you.

139
00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:05,240
Would you like to see my singing
machine?

140
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,200
No.

141
00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:22,800
Jamma?

142
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:26,480
Can you come upstairs, please?
I need your opinion on an outfit.

143
00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,040
Shut up!

144
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:36,080
Stop!

145
00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:39,920
It's too much, isn't it?

146
00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:42,440
It's a turtleneck.
Who do I think I am, Michael Buble?

147
00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:43,800
Is that what you're wearing?

148
00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:46,000
I'm going to look like I'm taking
you to court.

149
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:48,000
No. Look, you look great. Do I?

150
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,840
Yeah, you... you look really good.

151
00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:55,000
It's just my family. Mm-hm,

152
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,280
you're worried they're going to hate
me. No.

153
00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:00,800
Look, I've never asked my mum
to do this before.

154
00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:04,960
And if it helps, I have never done
anything like this before either.

155
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,840
Really? Dan was my longest relationship,

156
00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:10,440
and he never wanted me
to meet anyone.

157
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:18,000
I'm going to wear a trilby,

158
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,520
and you're going to support me
in that choice, OK?

159
00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:31,120
Could I get a glass of the...
Riesling, please?

160
00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:32,520
Jamma?

161
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:34,080
Um...

162
00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:37,240
It's all a bit pricey, innit?

163
00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:39,440
It's fun. Come on, special occasion,
isn't it?

164
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,920
Yeah. I'll just get the... the water.

165
00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:46,120
Tap water, the free one.

166
00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:49,640
You know, whatever happens tonight,
whatever gets said,

167
00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:52,800
let's just remember...
we're a team, OK?

168
00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:56,200
Yeah.

169
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:59,000
Let me just call them
and see how far they are, yeah?

170
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,760
Yeah. Yeah.

171
00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:07,160
Hey, Mum. Yeah, where are you?

172
00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:10,640
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Are you OK?

173
00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:12,360
Jamma, what's happened?

174
00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:14,920
HE WHISPERS: They had a crash.
What, a car crash?

175
00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:17,720
Oh, my God. No, no, Mum,
I can't hear you.

176
00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:20,720
Just speak clearly.
Forget the car!

177
00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:23,520
No, of course we don't mind
if you reschedule.

178
00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:24,720
Where even are you?

179
00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:26,440
Woking?

180
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:28,640
Jamma, isn't that your...?

181
00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:29,960
How did you get there?

182
00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:32,720
What? No, Guy will understand...
The menu, ma'am?

183
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:35,520
I haven't come to see the menu.
I've come to see Guy.

184
00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:37,360
Have you tried calling the police?

185
00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:38,480
Guy?

186
00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:39,640
Jamma.

187
00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:41,120
Mum?

188
00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:42,400
Al?

189
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,120
I'm so glad you're all safe.

190
00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:56,960
ISAAC: Do you have menus in French?
No, sorry.

191
00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:58,640
This is a Lebanese restaurant.

192
00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:00,560
SAIF: I've never had the lesbian food.

193
00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:04,160
Well, it's so nice to finally
meet you both.

194
00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,800
And, Farida, it might be a bit
forward and a tiny bit weird,

195
00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:08,640
but I have actually got
you something.

196
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,440
Oh, my God.

197
00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:15,080
So posh!

198
00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:16,280
Thank you, Guy.

199
00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:17,480
You're very welcome.

200
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:22,200
We've got a gift for you too.

201
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:24,040
Have you? Yes.

202
00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:33,800
This is for you. Ooh, what's this?

203
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,200
Ah!

204
00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,480
Mangoes. Woo!

205
00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:40,760
They smell amazing, Farida.

206
00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:42,640
Thank you. My pleasure.

207
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,440
Dad,
why have you brought your own eggs?

208
00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:48,840
I like eggs.

209
00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:51,320
All right, so are you ready
to order, then? Er, yeah,

210
00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:52,840
just checking one thing.

211
00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:54,080
Guy, you're paying, right?

212
00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:55,600
Jeez, man. Yes.

213
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,040
Yes, absolutely, Isaac.

214
00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:58,440
Just get whatever you want.

215
00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:00,120
Money is a bourgeois convention.

216
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:03,360
I'll get the devilled eggs,
the shawarma,

217
00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:05,280
a whole stack of pita...

218
00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:08,280
Hey. You all right?
...and I'll get the skewers.

219
00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:11,520
Drinks? Pomegranate juice.

220
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,160
Fattoush, I like the sound of that.

221
00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:15,120
I'll get three of them.

222
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:17,880
So you are a singer, Alan?

223
00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:19,640
His name's Guy, Dad.

224
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,640
Yeah. Yeah, I'm...

225
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:30,080
Well, I'm in a choir.

226
00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:31,320
Ooh la la!

227
00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:34,400
So, I'm not the only famous
artist in the family.

228
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,400
Oh, he's family now?

229
00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:38,280
Of course. I'm also an artist.

230
00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:40,400
Well, we're all artists, Isaac.

231
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:41,720
I am also singer.

232
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:43,080
Saif, please.

233
00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:44,400
He's not a singer.

234
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,720
Shall I come back, then?

235
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:49,760
Sorry, yeah.

236
00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:59,120
Yo. Sorry my mum's being so weird.

237
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:02,040
Weird? She's being nice. Exactly.

238
00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:03,960
She's got some kind of secret motive.

239
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:05,480
Come on, don't overthink it, Jam.

240
00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:06,840
It's going really well.

241
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:09,520
Just enjoy it. I am. Guy?

242
00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:10,560
Come!

243
00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:22,360
If there was only one boiled egg
for the dinner,

244
00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:25,480
I would give half to Jamal
and half to Isaac

245
00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:27,600
and I would go to bed hungry.

246
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:29,440
It sounds like you were very resilient.

247
00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:30,720
Yes.

248
00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:33,320
Thank you.

249
00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:39,600
Farida was just telling me
how she opened the Megacentre,

250
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:42,840
and she taught English to over,
what was it, 700 immigrants?

251
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:46,480
I mean, that's astonishing.
Yeah, she loves her stats.

252
00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:48,640
Mum, anything you want to ask
about us?

253
00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:52,080
Yes. Um, Guy,
you want to be an actor?

254
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:53,760
I can show you one of my film clips.

255
00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:55,720
No, Mum, he doesn't want to be an actor.

256
00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:59,120
Well, hang on. Never say never.
He's not an actor. He's a singer.

257
00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:01,760
Therapist. When is your next show?
It's not for ages.

258
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:03,440
No, it's tonight, actually.

259
00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:07,000
Tonight? Mm-hm. Should we come?
Yeah, if you'd like to.

260
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,360
That'd be great.
Parking expires at 8pm.

261
00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:11,640
8pm, exactly, yeah, so another time.
No, no, no.

262
00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:13,320
Your dad will wait in the car.

263
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:15,680
I'll come and I will support you.

264
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:17,640
Mum, can I have a quick word?

265
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:19,640
Sorry, I'm still eating.

266
00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:23,480
So, Isaac, I've heard
that you've already got a promotion.

267
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:24,640
Yeah, I got him...

268
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:26,320
It's just consumerism.

269
00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:27,760
Like, this table is society.

270
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:29,880
The more I eat,
the hungrier I get...

271
00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:31,440
Guy, here, look.

272
00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:33,200
This is one of my biggest...

273
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,040
Dad, I need to swap seats.

274
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:37,040
Guy, look at it.

275
00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:38,520
I'll take a look...

276
00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:40,480
ALL TALK AT ONCE

277
00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:56,120
No!

278
00:12:58,200 --> 00:12:59,320
You all right, Jamma?

279
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:03,480
Yeah. Yeah,
just wanted to do a little speech.

280
00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:12,480
Hello, everyone.

281
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:14,800
Welcome!

282
00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:21,000
I'm humbled that you're all here,

283
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:25,800
especially you, Mum, because I know
how difficult this has been for you.

284
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:27,440
It's not difficult for me.

285
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:28,600
Why would it be?

286
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:32,000
Because I'm the first in the family
to do this.

287
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:36,080
You could say I'm changing
the course of history.

288
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:39,440
He's so silly.

289
00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:41,160
LAUGHTER

290
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:46,120
Why are you here, Mum?

291
00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:48,600
I wanted to meet my new son.

292
00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:50,800
Mum, why are you here?

293
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,280
Fine.

294
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:01,720
Ladies and gentlemen...

295
00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:03,960
APPLAUSE

296
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:13,520
You know, I was the first girl in my
town to ride a bicycle.

297
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:14,880
AUDIENCE: Ah!

298
00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:16,960
And they called me whore.

299
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:18,360
CROWD GASP

300
00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:20,440
How is this relevant? Sorry.

301
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:22,160
Mum, why don't you just tell us all

302
00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:25,200
what you find so shocking
about mine and Guy's relationship?

303
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:26,840
Shocking?

304
00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:29,760
I have done more shocking
things than you.

305
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:33,440
It's not a competition.
Who said that it's a competition?

306
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:34,760
I've done drugs.

307
00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:37,400
We all have done drugs, Jamal.
What drugs have you done?

308
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:40,160
Once, I did the whisky.
That's not a drug.

309
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:41,720
Alcohol's the worst drug!

310
00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:43,200
Well, I've tasted bacon.

311
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,280
MORE GASPS

312
00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:46,840
I killed a chicken with my
bare hands.

313
00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:48,480
I used to have a nipple piercing.

314
00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:50,520
I was in love with a woman.

315
00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:52,920
What? What does bacon taste like?

316
00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:54,320
She's lying. That's a lie.

317
00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:55,400
BOOING

318
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,640
MAN: Don't shame her! Sexuality's
a spectrum, bro.

319
00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:59,160
Well, me and Guy have anal sex!

320
00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:00,800
Oh, my God. Jesus, Jamma.

321
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,960
What? I'm just being honest,
like you should be, Mum.

322
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:05,400
About what? What you think of me and
Guy. What do I think?

323
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:08,360
I don't know, that it's unnatural,
that we shouldn't be together.

324
00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:10,400
He's such a drama queen.

325
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:12,680
Is he like this with you?
Er sometimes, yeah.

326
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:14,400
She didn't even want to meet you!

327
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:17,240
She recoils every time I say your
name! Jamma, please.

328
00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:19,520
She refers to you as my friend.

329
00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:21,320
She'd give anything not to see me
with a man,

330
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:24,320
especially one that's old enough
to be my dad.

331
00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:35,320
I never said any of that.

332
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:38,600
Well, no, yeah, but... you're
obviously thinking it.

333
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:41,120
I'm not.

334
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:44,840
I think you're projecting, bro.

335
00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:49,280
You can pay at the bar.

336
00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:58,160
I need to go toilet.

337
00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:00,400
Er, yeah, no... I'll get it.

338
00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:04,160
No, Guy, please.

339
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:05,560
You are meeting my family.

340
00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:07,000
I will pay it.

341
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,040
OK.

342
00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:13,560
Isaac will pay it. Hmm?

343
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,080
What's your point, Dad?

344
00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:03,880
HAND-DRIER DROWNS SPEECH

345
00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:09,440
Dad, I can't actually hear...

346
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:13,480
I'm not, I'm not getting anything.

347
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:14,640
HAND-DRIER STOPS

348
00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:16,120
12 abortions...

349
00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:17,200
HAND-DRIER STARTS AGAIN

350
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:18,440
12 abortions? What?

351
00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:19,720
HAND-DRIER STOPS

352
00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:22,360
...no offence. Yeah, just don't
dry your hands while you talk...

353
00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:25,560
HAND-DRIER STARTS

354
00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:30,080
INAUDIBLE SPEECH

355
00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:33,600
It's just too much.

356
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:44,760
Sure.

357
00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:48,480
Thank you.

358
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:49,800
Shukriya.

359
00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:20,680
Oh, can you...?

360
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:23,520
What are you doing? Jamma, I'm
about to go on.

361
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,840
I just want to say I'm sorry, OK?

362
00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:27,720
But she did that on purpose.
Did what?

363
00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:30,320
She was trying to tell us something
very vulnerable, Jamma.

364
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:33,680
No, no, no, you don't know her. She...

365
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,280
Look, this was meant to be my big moment.

366
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:39,840
OUR big moment. Yes. Yeah, no,
our big moment,

367
00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:44,160
and she hijacked it by claiming
she's a drug addict lesbian. Right.

368
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:46,400
And then suddenly,
it's the Farida show.

369
00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:52,320
You know, it seemed like
the Jamma show to me.

370
00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:53,920
All right, bro? Yeah, thanks.

371
00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:19,720
CHOIR: # When you cross
the stormy waters

372
00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:24,000
♪ Come walk ashore

373
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:29,280
♪ Bring your sons
and bring your daughters

374
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:34,080
♪ Wander no more

375
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:39,040
♪ For our door is always open

376
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:44,520
♪ And our hearth is always warm

377
00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:49,600
♪ When you need a place to shelter

378
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:55,240
♪ We're a harbour in the storm

379
00:19:55,240 --> 00:20:00,800
♪ There'll be time for rest
and sleeping

380
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,600
♪ Come walk ashore...

381
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:04,360
Why did you come tonight, Mum?

382
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:08,240
To change the course of our history.

383
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:11,080
♪ ..for peace and healing

384
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:14,800
♪ Wander no more

385
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:20,640
♪ For our door is always open

386
00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:25,800
♪ And our hearth is always warm

387
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:30,800
♪ When you need a place to shelter

388
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:36,280
♪ We're a harbour in the storm

389
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:41,320
♪ For our door is always open

390
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:46,480
♪ And our hearth is always warm

391
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:51,520
♪ When you need a place to shelter

392
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:58,680
♪ We're a harbour in the storm. ♪