1
00:00:02,256 --> 00:00:06,427
(Duck and cover theme song plays)

2
00:00:07,886 --> 00:00:11,431
♪ There was a turtle by the name of Bert ♪

3
00:00:11,514 --> 00:00:14,726
♪ and Bert the turtle was very alert ♪

4
00:00:14,809 --> 00:00:18,062
♪ when danger threatened
him he never got hurt ♪

5
00:00:18,145 --> 00:00:20,396
♪ he knew just what to do ♪

6
00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:24,567
(Dynamite explodes) ♪ he'd duck and cover ♪

7
00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:27,569
♪ duck and cover ♪

8
00:00:27,653 --> 00:00:30,780
♪ he did what we all must learn to do ♪

9
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♪ you ♪ ♪ and you ♪

10
00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:33,908
♪ and you ♪ ♪ and you ♪

11
00:00:33,991 --> 00:00:37,411
(Dynamite explodes) ♪ duck and cover. ♪

12
00:00:38,995 --> 00:00:40,038
- [Narrator] Be sure and remember,

13
00:00:40,121 --> 00:00:41,706
what Bert the turtle just did friends,

14
00:00:41,789 --> 00:00:43,040
because every one of us,

15
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must remember to do the same thing.

16
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That's what this film is all about.

17
00:00:47,627 --> 00:00:48,795
Duck and cover.

18
00:00:48,878 --> 00:00:50,881
This is an official civil defense film,

19
00:00:50,964 --> 00:00:52,215
produced in cooperation

20
00:00:52,298 --> 00:00:54,675
with the federal civil
defense administration

21
00:00:54,758 --> 00:00:56,969
and in consultation with
the safety commission

22
00:00:57,052 --> 00:00:58,262
of the national education...

23
00:00:58,345 --> 00:01:02,223
(Bomb detonates loudly)

24
00:01:02,306 --> 00:01:05,601
You see, Bert is a
very, very careful fellow.

25
00:01:05,684 --> 00:01:06,769
When there's danger,

26
00:01:06,852 --> 00:01:09,437
this is the way he keeps from being hurt.

27
00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:12,649
Sometimes it even saves his life.

28
00:01:12,732 --> 00:01:15,985
(Bright music playing)

29
00:01:51,681 --> 00:01:52,891
- Ralph I'm telling you,

30
00:01:53,766 --> 00:01:56,977
people are meant to be
completely and utterly independent.

31
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That is mankind's inherent state,

32
00:01:59,312 --> 00:02:00,647
none of this bullshit.

33
00:02:02,815 --> 00:02:04,108
- How long have we been playing?

34
00:02:04,191 --> 00:02:06,319
- Are you even listening to me?

35
00:02:06,402 --> 00:02:08,987
- Okay, Tucker, have you learned nothing?

36
00:02:09,070 --> 00:02:11,572
Mankind's inherent state is paranoia.

37
00:02:12,573 --> 00:02:15,076
That's why people blindly
succumb to forms of fascism.

38
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That's why bullshit is necessary.

39
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- Chicken or the egg?

40
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If Mussolini was sitting with us right now,

41
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you think you'd be speaking the same?

42
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Fascism causes paranoia,

43
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paranoia doesn't cause fascism.

44
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Pay your taxes, shut up or else.

45
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- Hello, fellow man.

46
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I don't remember my real name,

47
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but nowadays I go by
Ralph. (Bright tune playing)

48
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This is my old companion,

49
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he goes by Tucker now.

50
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We've been around for a long time,

51
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since the dawn of civilization to be exact.

52
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Oh, Ralph,

53
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you perceptive little pilgrim.

54
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How could that be possible?

55
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Well, in a time of greed, we made a deal.

56
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We'd get whatever we wanted in this life,

57
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but in return must play a game,

58
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a never ending game.

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Neither is won, neither is lost.

60
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We don't quite remember what
happens when the game ends.

61
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Then again, I don't think it ever will.

62
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Something about the soul of humanity

63
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being saved or destroyed,

64
00:03:05,367 --> 00:03:07,495
but I wouldn't worry about that.

65
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We now work for the
United States government,

66
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and it sure isn't that demanding.

67
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Either way, we've gotten comfortable.

68
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I guess as long as we have a
working TV and a glass of ale,

69
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Tucker and I will be just fine.

70
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- Pay your taxes, shut up or else.

71
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- That's the way it's always been,

72
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have you forgotten?

73
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Death and taxes,

74
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civilization's a broken record.

75
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Not just here in America,

76
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but everywhere we've been throughout time.

77
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- Yeah, but America was different, you see.

78
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At least different than it was now.

79
00:03:38,812 --> 00:03:41,273
Now, we're just a blood bank for vampires.

80
00:03:41,356 --> 00:03:43,024
Let's take a look at
the numbers, all right?

81
00:03:43,107 --> 00:03:43,858
The federal government

82
00:03:43,941 --> 00:03:46,235
makes you pay 37% in fed taxes, right?

83
00:03:46,318 --> 00:03:48,070
And let's say you live in New York state,

84
00:03:48,153 --> 00:03:50,489
another eight and a
half percent to the state.

85
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Let's say you live in New York City,

86
00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:53,616
another four and a half to the city.

87
00:03:53,699 --> 00:03:56,577
Assuming you aren't
completely idiotic and unbothered

88
00:03:56,660 --> 00:03:59,621
by the 50% that they didn't
steal from you in spending it,

89
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that's another 8% in sales tax.

90
00:04:02,289 --> 00:04:03,917
Let's say, you wanna buy land,

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you know, like in the olden time,

92
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land was good, land is land.

93
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Then you get a mortgage,

94
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you have mortgage tax.

95
00:04:11,464 --> 00:04:12,590
And when you wanna sell the real estate,

96
00:04:12,673 --> 00:04:14,634
there's a higher power
that charges you another tax,

97
00:04:14,717 --> 00:04:16,635
a hidden fee to an invisible broker.

98
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And when you die, guess what?

99
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They take half. (Bright tune plays)

100
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We gotta protect the American way, okay?

101
00:04:27,019 --> 00:04:29,146
- Well, I guess the fluoride in the water

102
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really worked then, huh?

103
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Since when do you care
about the American way?

104
00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:35,109
- The human way.

105
00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:37,278
- And what's the human way, old friend?

106
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- A sense of selfhood, of
individualism, you know,

107
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or freedom, for lack of a better word.

108
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You're craving pie, you go
out, and you get some pie.

109
00:04:46,952 --> 00:04:51,414
- Pie? You know that 42% of
American adults are obese now?

110
00:04:52,957 --> 00:04:55,459
- You know fascism, it's a strong word?

111
00:04:57,210 --> 00:04:58,753
- Yeah.

112
00:04:58,836 --> 00:05:02,799
- Last I checked, fascism
could create a fast schism.

113
00:05:02,882 --> 00:05:04,300
- Word play? - Foul play.

114
00:05:04,383 --> 00:05:05,468
- Obesity or fascism?

115
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- I say both.

116
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- Listen.

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- I am.

118
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- Intently, I mean.

119
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- Why?

120
00:05:14,391 --> 00:05:17,436
- I'm not talking Neo-Nazi fascism.

121
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I'm talking just about the
blind following of leaders.

122
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It's been done for eons.

123
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People sacrifice their
rights to feel secure.

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That's why we're here.

125
00:05:26,819 --> 00:05:28,695
- You think that we make a difference?

126
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- I like to think we do.

127
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They think we do,

128
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and if they think we do then,

129
00:05:37,619 --> 00:05:38,579
yeah, I guess we do.

130
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- Who's they?

131
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- The people, far and wide.

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If they feel safe,

133
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then that must mean we're doing a good job.

134
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- Name one time,

135
00:05:47,127 --> 00:05:49,546
since we've been on this
red, white, and blue rock

136
00:05:49,629 --> 00:05:51,131
that we've made a difference?

137
00:05:51,214 --> 00:05:52,840
- [Ralph] You and I? - You and I.

138
00:05:52,924 --> 00:05:54,675
- Well, we came up with
the Monroe doctrine, no?

139
00:05:54,758 --> 00:05:58,428
- Ralph, we came up with the
name for the Monroe doctrine.

140
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- That's something.

141
00:05:59,929 --> 00:06:01,598
- The guy's name was James Monroe.

142
00:06:01,681 --> 00:06:03,099
- What about that time we traveled a bunch,

143
00:06:03,182 --> 00:06:06,852
after the Louisiana purchase?

144
00:06:06,935 --> 00:06:08,896
- Oh, old companion, that was not us.

145
00:06:08,979 --> 00:06:10,147
- Who was it then?

146
00:06:10,230 --> 00:06:10,981
- Lewis and Clark.

147
00:06:11,064 --> 00:06:13,065
Did they put rum in your
coffee earlier or what?

148
00:06:13,148 --> 00:06:15,276
- What's wrong with an
Espresso Martini to start the day?

149
00:06:15,359 --> 00:06:16,277
- And to end it?

150
00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:17,403
- Gin and tonic.

151
00:06:17,486 --> 00:06:19,321
- Look, all I'm saying is that,

152
00:06:19,404 --> 00:06:22,240
if the American people are
giving up their god-given will

153
00:06:22,323 --> 00:06:25,826
to have you and I protect and serve them,

154
00:06:25,909 --> 00:06:27,703
then Jesus Christ, you know what?

155
00:06:27,786 --> 00:06:28,871
Maybe ignorance is bliss.

156
00:06:28,954 --> 00:06:31,498
You know what? How about we just shut up,

157
00:06:31,581 --> 00:06:32,707
and try to keep our jobs for once.

158
00:06:32,790 --> 00:06:33,624
How about that?

159
00:06:34,583 --> 00:06:38,170
- For once. Isn't it funny?

160
00:06:38,253 --> 00:06:39,087
- What's that?

161
00:06:40,922 --> 00:06:41,923
- Ignorance.

162
00:06:42,006 --> 00:06:43,883
- [Bartender] Here you go, gentlemen.

163
00:06:43,966 --> 00:06:45,426
- [Ralph] Thank you.

164
00:06:45,509 --> 00:06:48,387
- So, what is it you're playing here?

165
00:06:48,470 --> 00:06:51,181
- Well, it's had a lot of names,

166
00:06:51,264 --> 00:06:53,641
but it's an ancient Mesopotamian game

167
00:06:53,724 --> 00:06:55,393
called the royal game of UR.

168
00:06:56,434 --> 00:06:58,020
We've been playing forever.

169
00:06:58,103 --> 00:07:00,689
- [Tucker] Two players
race to compete their pieces

170
00:07:00,772 --> 00:07:02,482
from one end of the board to the other.

171
00:07:02,565 --> 00:07:03,900
- [Bartender] Wow. Looks complicated.

172
00:07:03,983 --> 00:07:04,901
I've never heard of it.

173
00:07:04,984 --> 00:07:06,152
- [Tucker] Yeah. Not a lot of people have.

174
00:07:06,235 --> 00:07:09,404
No one usually plays
it that much these days.

175
00:07:09,487 --> 00:07:11,823
- Well, I'll let you guys enjoy. Looks fun.

176
00:07:11,906 --> 00:07:13,366
- [Tucker] Is it fun?

177
00:07:13,449 --> 00:07:17,078
- [Ralph] Well, it's not like
we can stop playing anyway.

178
00:07:17,161 --> 00:07:20,622
- It's not fun, and
honestly, I cannot stand it.

179
00:07:23,124 --> 00:07:24,375
Another zero.

180
00:07:24,458 --> 00:07:25,710
- [Ralph] Are you gonna resign?

181
00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:27,127
- I'm winning.

182
00:07:27,210 --> 00:07:28,795
- [Ralph] Oh, yeah. (Phone vibrates)

183
00:07:28,879 --> 00:07:32,381
(Bright music continuing)

184
00:07:34,716 --> 00:07:37,386
- [Tucker] Uh-huh, okay.

185
00:07:37,469 --> 00:07:38,846
That was our guy in shing kwong dao.

186
00:07:38,929 --> 00:07:40,638
He says that they want another

187
00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:42,640
five million for research funding,

188
00:07:42,723 --> 00:07:44,225
four million in the regular account,

189
00:07:44,308 --> 00:07:46,018
and one million in bitcoin.

190
00:07:46,101 --> 00:07:46,853
- Bastards.

191
00:07:46,936 --> 00:07:47,728
- They said, "take it or leave it,"

192
00:07:47,811 --> 00:07:49,605
that they have other
people willing to fund.

193
00:07:49,688 --> 00:07:50,522
- [Ralph] No, no, no. They'll
take the highest bidder.

194
00:07:50,605 --> 00:07:52,440
Don't be silly. - You are a capitalist.

195
00:07:52,523 --> 00:07:54,984
You don't understand Chinese culture, okay?

196
00:07:55,067 --> 00:07:56,276
Did you know that they believe

197
00:07:56,359 --> 00:07:58,403
that they're the descendants of dragons.

198
00:07:58,486 --> 00:07:59,821
- Yeah. And?

199
00:07:59,904 --> 00:08:00,864
- I'm not being funny.

200
00:08:00,947 --> 00:08:02,156
And they believe

201
00:08:02,239 --> 00:08:05,284
that their dragons breathe
water and steam, not fire.

202
00:08:05,367 --> 00:08:07,160
- Oh, I see.

203
00:08:07,243 --> 00:08:08,912
You're trying to explain who
steamed the first dumpling.

204
00:08:08,995 --> 00:08:09,955
Well done.

205
00:08:10,038 --> 00:08:10,956
- I mean, on the flip side,

206
00:08:11,039 --> 00:08:12,540
you could saute it in a wok.

207
00:08:12,623 --> 00:08:14,083
- [Ralph] Oh. I think it's stupid.

208
00:08:14,166 --> 00:08:14,917
I'll get approval for it.

209
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:15,918
It won't be a problem,

210
00:08:16,001 --> 00:08:17,753
but that's weird,

211
00:08:17,836 --> 00:08:20,797
those Chinese government
guys really love their money, huh?

212
00:08:22,006 --> 00:08:23,466
For a bunch of communists

213
00:08:23,549 --> 00:08:26,093
that are supposed to share with the people?

214
00:08:26,176 --> 00:08:27,928
- Yeah. Well, that's only on paper.

215
00:08:28,011 --> 00:08:30,222
They are the smartest
businessmen in the world.

216
00:08:30,305 --> 00:08:32,015
(Bright music continuing in background)

217
00:08:32,098 --> 00:08:35,601
(Glasses clink in cheers)

218
00:08:37,311 --> 00:08:38,311
- [Speaker 2] As a creature,

219
00:08:38,394 --> 00:08:40,730
not of god, but of the state,

220
00:08:40,813 --> 00:08:41,939
in this system,

221
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:45,067
the value of individual
man diminishes sharply,

222
00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:47,861
and the state is all important.

223
00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:49,405
The state will run his life for-

224
00:08:49,488 --> 00:08:51,531
(static sounds)

225
00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:52,365
- [Jonsie] Eugene,

226
00:08:52,448 --> 00:08:54,700
try not to do what you
did last night. Okay?

227
00:08:54,783 --> 00:08:55,535
- [Eugene] Yes, sir.

228
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:56,702
- Am I in frame? Focused?

229
00:08:56,785 --> 00:08:59,121
Don't touch the camera, just tell me.

230
00:08:59,204 --> 00:09:00,789
- [Eugene] It looks good.

231
00:09:00,872 --> 00:09:02,666
- Mustache is straight tonight?

232
00:09:02,749 --> 00:09:03,833
- [Eugene] Yes. Last night it was crooked,

233
00:09:03,916 --> 00:09:05,418
tonight, it's perfect.

234
00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:06,252
- I don't know why I pay you,

235
00:09:06,335 --> 00:09:09,212
it's not even hot anymore, Eugene.

236
00:09:09,295 --> 00:09:10,755
- [Eugene] You don't pay me.

237
00:09:10,838 --> 00:09:12,840
- Give me a countdown tonight, all right?

238
00:09:12,923 --> 00:09:17,136
Starting seven. So wait, two, one, five...

239
00:09:17,219 --> 00:09:18,179
- [Eugene] Five. - [Jonsie] Yeah.

240
00:09:18,262 --> 00:09:20,972
- [Eugene] Four, three, two.

241
00:09:21,055 --> 00:09:25,059
(Radio tower signal beeping)

242
00:09:25,142 --> 00:09:26,310
- Welcome back to war games.

243
00:09:26,393 --> 00:09:28,395
I am your host, rich jonsie.

244
00:09:28,478 --> 00:09:30,564
Many of you have been
asking me pressing questions

245
00:09:30,647 --> 00:09:33,149
spanning from the absurd
rumors of my connection

246
00:09:33,232 --> 00:09:35,151
with extremist terrorist organizations,

247
00:09:35,234 --> 00:09:37,653
my baseless ban from
all forms of social media,

248
00:09:37,736 --> 00:09:41,573
and my most recent arrest
involving my intense methods

249
00:09:41,656 --> 00:09:44,241
of infiltrating a satanic cult.

250
00:09:44,324 --> 00:09:46,160
- [Officer] All right, father O'Malley,

251
00:09:46,243 --> 00:09:50,371
take the hat off and
lose the fake mustache.

252
00:09:51,831 --> 00:09:53,999
- But that is neither here nor there.

253
00:09:54,083 --> 00:09:55,918
Today is a momentous
day in American history,

254
00:09:56,001 --> 00:09:57,544
as we Usher in a new president,

255
00:09:57,627 --> 00:09:59,546
unlike any we've seen before.

256
00:09:59,629 --> 00:10:01,298
In an upset, but fierce victory

257
00:10:01,381 --> 00:10:04,758
against madam evergreen
and her party of beavers.

258
00:10:04,841 --> 00:10:07,093
The end of beaver reign, some would say,

259
00:10:08,136 --> 00:10:10,222
as raccoons take the throne,

260
00:10:10,305 --> 00:10:11,639
with a rebellious outsider,

261
00:10:11,722 --> 00:10:15,685
known unto the world
as a titan of industry.

262
00:10:15,768 --> 00:10:17,977
What the future holds for the free world,

263
00:10:18,978 --> 00:10:20,606
I do not know,

264
00:10:20,689 --> 00:10:22,899
but as my dear viewers know,

265
00:10:22,982 --> 00:10:24,775
I am a truth seeker,

266
00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:26,944
and my eyes are always open.

267
00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:30,197
(Dramatic tune plays)

268
00:10:49,504 --> 00:10:50,797
(Cup clinks to saucer)

269
00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:55,175
- (Speaks in foreign language)

270
00:10:55,259 --> 00:10:56,844
Madam evergreen,

271
00:11:01,055 --> 00:11:03,141
how did you lose to that farmer?

272
00:11:03,224 --> 00:11:06,185
- He's not a farmer, he's in real estate.

273
00:11:06,268 --> 00:11:08,311
- [Chinese leader] Same thing.

274
00:11:08,394 --> 00:11:13,274
He's unpredictable, ambiguous, aloof,

275
00:11:15,901 --> 00:11:20,614
but some still find him refreshing.

276
00:11:21,447 --> 00:11:23,533
That is not good.

277
00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:24,825
- We know.

278
00:11:24,908 --> 00:11:27,077
- I thought we had a deal.

279
00:11:29,121 --> 00:11:32,582
You told us not to worry.

280
00:11:32,665 --> 00:11:34,918
For the last eight years,

281
00:11:35,001 --> 00:11:38,211
we had a working partnership.

282
00:11:38,294 --> 00:11:41,089
We did what you asked us,

283
00:11:42,548 --> 00:11:45,425
and this is how you repay this.

284
00:11:46,676 --> 00:11:47,636
What's worse,

285
00:11:47,719 --> 00:11:49,638
we had to listen to the idiot son

286
00:11:49,721 --> 00:11:51,848
who calls himself a lawyer.

287
00:11:51,931 --> 00:11:53,891
- He's really more of a hunter.

288
00:11:53,974 --> 00:11:58,603
- Americans, strange sheep... Time wasters.

289
00:12:02,148 --> 00:12:06,110
Your people are too busy
deciding on what genders they are.

290
00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:08,987
We decide that at birth.

291
00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:13,450
Imagine how much more
time we have on our hands.

292
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:15,117
(Piano keys playing)

293
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:18,245
- Everyone knows the fat man needs to go.

294
00:12:19,746 --> 00:12:22,498
- [Chinese leader] How
do you plan to execute?

295
00:12:22,581 --> 00:12:24,667
- [Madam evergreen] Avoid using that word.

296
00:12:26,376 --> 00:12:28,212
It won't take long for our friends

297
00:12:28,295 --> 00:12:31,631
to conjure a ghost to scare outsiders.

298
00:12:31,714 --> 00:12:33,549
- You don't have any friends.

299
00:12:33,632 --> 00:12:38,637
Facebook friends and
Instagram followers don't count.

300
00:12:40,096 --> 00:12:41,931
- Even those can be useful.

301
00:12:42,014 --> 00:12:45,685
- Your people watch too much TV.

302
00:12:47,894 --> 00:12:50,522
Unsatisfied with their own lives,

303
00:12:51,439 --> 00:12:56,443
so they watch vicariously
the lives of others.

304
00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,529
Oddly depressing.

305
00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:03,658
- Isn't that why you tried to buy Disney?

306
00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:08,704
(Chinese leader laughing condescendingly)

307
00:13:08,787 --> 00:13:13,791
- If we wanted Disney,
we would have Disney.

308
00:13:14,083 --> 00:13:18,253
Come up with something
better than Russian spy.

309
00:13:19,629 --> 00:13:22,715
It is amazing you haven't been caught.

310
00:13:23,716 --> 00:13:26,969
- I assure you, we will.

311
00:13:27,052 --> 00:13:29,971
- You focus on the popular opinion,

312
00:13:33,099 --> 00:13:35,684
show them what they want to see.

313
00:13:38,103 --> 00:13:42,107
We will make conclusions for them.

314
00:13:43,774 --> 00:13:47,569
I can guarantee you next election,

315
00:13:49,028 --> 00:13:51,239
unlike your broken promises to me.

316
00:13:51,322 --> 00:13:54,908
(Bright tense music plays)

317
00:14:02,665 --> 00:14:05,584
- [Interviewer] Madam evergreen,
did you see this coming?

318
00:14:06,543 --> 00:14:09,004
- No, none of us did.

319
00:14:09,963 --> 00:14:11,506
I'm deeply disappointed,

320
00:14:11,589 --> 00:14:14,050
and I know a lot of other people are too.

321
00:14:14,133 --> 00:14:15,677
Quite frankly I'm worried.

322
00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:17,761
Worried about the future of our country.

323
00:14:19,053 --> 00:14:22,057
We as a campaign, as a collective,

324
00:14:22,140 --> 00:14:24,975
sort an America that was peaceful,

325
00:14:25,058 --> 00:14:27,895
accepting, and transparent.

326
00:14:27,978 --> 00:14:31,147
Given his neanderthal
like inauguration speech,

327
00:14:31,230 --> 00:14:33,692
I'm not sure if he shares that same vision.

328
00:14:33,775 --> 00:14:34,859
- Are you done running

329
00:14:34,942 --> 00:14:37,235
as a candidate in a presidential race?

330
00:14:37,319 --> 00:14:40,113
After all it is your second loss.

331
00:14:40,196 --> 00:14:42,490
- Ah, you wanna go there. Huh? Okay.

332
00:14:44,534 --> 00:14:46,285
As a candidate, yes,

333
00:14:47,619 --> 00:14:51,289
but done with politics? Never.

334
00:14:51,372 --> 00:14:53,874
I believe that I was meant to be a servant,

335
00:14:53,957 --> 00:14:56,001
a servant to all Americans.

336
00:14:56,084 --> 00:14:57,837
- [Interviewer] Do you have a
message for your supporters

337
00:14:57,920 --> 00:14:58,963
you'd like to share?

338
00:14:59,046 --> 00:15:01,756
- I will always have a message for them.

339
00:15:01,839 --> 00:15:06,843
Remain engaged, be vigilant,
use your beautiful minds.

340
00:15:07,261 --> 00:15:09,637
Your spirit and talent,

341
00:15:09,721 --> 00:15:11,848
will be the thing that keeps this country

342
00:15:11,931 --> 00:15:13,516
from tipping out of balance.

343
00:15:14,850 --> 00:15:17,228
I don't give a raccoon's
ass what it is ladies,

344
00:15:17,311 --> 00:15:19,062
I need ideas. Go.

345
00:15:19,145 --> 00:15:21,815
- Why don't we accuse him of being gay?

346
00:15:21,898 --> 00:15:23,149
- Great idea,

347
00:15:23,232 --> 00:15:26,360
and if it was 1952, it might actually work.

348
00:15:26,443 --> 00:15:28,278
Nowadays, it would get him elected.

349
00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:29,779
- I think we can get more mileage

350
00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:31,281
out of the Russian spy connection.

351
00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:33,825
- Derivative. If releasing a tape

352
00:15:33,908 --> 00:15:35,951
where he talks about
grabbing a woman's pussy

353
00:15:36,034 --> 00:15:38,787
just days before the election
did not bring him down,

354
00:15:38,870 --> 00:15:40,372
we need something big.

355
00:15:40,455 --> 00:15:42,832
Do you know how much I
had to spend for that tape?

356
00:15:42,915 --> 00:15:44,250
- How much? - [Madam evergreen] Enough.

357
00:15:44,333 --> 00:15:46,043
He's like a wine cork at sea,

358
00:15:46,126 --> 00:15:47,461
always bobbing to the top.

359
00:15:47,544 --> 00:15:49,212
People underestimate him.

360
00:15:49,296 --> 00:15:50,964
- What about a connection to

361
00:15:51,047 --> 00:15:54,092
the sex trafficking hedge
fund guy with the island?

362
00:15:54,175 --> 00:15:55,843
- Definitely not.

363
00:15:55,926 --> 00:15:59,471
My husband used to
love visiting that island.

364
00:15:59,554 --> 00:16:00,597
I'm not sure why.

365
00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:02,599
By the way, he's never leaving that cell.

366
00:16:02,682 --> 00:16:04,308
- Like foster.

367
00:16:04,391 --> 00:16:06,477
- [Advisor #3] My favorite
suicide is the Sicilian one.

368
00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:07,645
- Which one is that again?

369
00:16:07,728 --> 00:16:08,854
- [Advisor #3] That's when
they shoot themselves

370
00:16:08,937 --> 00:16:10,730
twice in the head, once in the chest,

371
00:16:10,813 --> 00:16:12,607
wrap themselves up in a carpet

372
00:16:12,690 --> 00:16:14,316
and they throw their own body off a bridge.

373
00:16:14,399 --> 00:16:16,277
- [Madam evergreen] Shut
up. Let's keep this going.

374
00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:18,112
- [Advisor #3] What about
his company? His business?

375
00:16:18,195 --> 00:16:20,155
- [Advisor #1] Do you know
anything about business?

376
00:16:20,238 --> 00:16:21,948
- I grew up with Chuck
Schwab when I was younger.

377
00:16:22,031 --> 00:16:23,324
So yeah, I think I do.

378
00:16:23,407 --> 00:16:25,200
- [Advisor #2] You might be onto something,

379
00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:29,913
that he has yet to release
his tax returns, why?

380
00:16:29,996 --> 00:16:31,290
- All right. Not a bad idea.

381
00:16:31,373 --> 00:16:33,041
Start digging, whatever you find,

382
00:16:33,124 --> 00:16:34,500
we'll blow it out of the water.

383
00:16:34,583 --> 00:16:37,420
We've got every broadcasting
network ready to go,

384
00:16:37,503 --> 00:16:38,671
except one.

385
00:16:38,754 --> 00:16:40,380
- Not enough weight behind it.

386
00:16:41,672 --> 00:16:43,049
- What about a plague?

387
00:16:43,132 --> 00:16:44,634
- Real or fake?

388
00:16:44,717 --> 00:16:47,094
- Too risky, and too volatile.

389
00:16:47,177 --> 00:16:49,846
- [Madam evergreen] Now, wait a second.

390
00:16:49,929 --> 00:16:52,765
- Madam evergreen. You can't be serious.

391
00:16:52,849 --> 00:16:55,851
- No, really. What about a plague?

392
00:16:57,060 --> 00:17:00,980
Don't we have a team,
right now in shing kwong dao,

393
00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:04,650
that is working on new
cocktails, just in case,

394
00:17:04,733 --> 00:17:06,277
for something like this?
(Dramatic tune intensifies)

395
00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:07,528
- Well, they're more concerned

396
00:17:07,611 --> 00:17:09,404
about world population matters.

397
00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:11,531
That or selling us a
cure after they infect us.

398
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:14,408
- Yeah. Well, I don't
give a shit about that.

399
00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:17,119
Inquire, I want an answer in 15 minutes.

400
00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:20,872
(Dramatic tune intensifies)

401
00:17:36,052 --> 00:17:38,845
- [Ralph] So how did
we get mixed up in this?

402
00:17:39,763 --> 00:17:43,349
- [Tucker] So, madam evergreen phones me.

403
00:17:43,933 --> 00:17:46,143
- Keep up with the times. (Footsteps)

404
00:17:46,226 --> 00:17:47,269
She called you.

405
00:17:48,937 --> 00:17:50,188
She called you?

406
00:17:50,271 --> 00:17:51,481
- She had one of her advisors call me.

407
00:17:51,564 --> 00:17:53,191
- That's what I thought.

408
00:17:53,274 --> 00:17:56,569
- Anyway, he didn't say
much, but he did say,

409
00:17:56,652 --> 00:17:57,820
that the fate of the country

410
00:17:57,903 --> 00:18:00,447
could rest upon our very shoulders.

411
00:18:01,113 --> 00:18:03,742
- All right. And what
the hell does that mean?

412
00:18:03,825 --> 00:18:06,327
- It's an opportunity
for us to do some good.

413
00:18:06,410 --> 00:18:08,912
- Please, we don't even know what it is.

414
00:18:08,995 --> 00:18:10,496
- It's an opportunity.

415
00:18:10,746 --> 00:18:12,790
We may as well try to do
some good while we're here, no?

416
00:18:12,873 --> 00:18:14,166
I mean, what are the odds?

417
00:18:14,750 --> 00:18:16,668
They chose us, all right?

418
00:18:17,752 --> 00:18:19,505
We may as well try to shine.

419
00:18:19,588 --> 00:18:21,339
When was the last time
we were motivated? Huh?

420
00:18:21,422 --> 00:18:23,091
When we had some ideas?

421
00:18:23,174 --> 00:18:24,300
- Before the game.

422
00:18:24,383 --> 00:18:25,843
- Oh, don't be a slug, okay?

423
00:18:25,926 --> 00:18:28,012
- My apologies, before Christ.

424
00:18:28,095 --> 00:18:29,054
- [Tucker] Stop it please, all right?

425
00:18:29,137 --> 00:18:31,515
- After all this time, you
don't appreciate my levity?

426
00:18:31,598 --> 00:18:34,142
- Well, frankly, I think
you're a big ball of gloom.

427
00:18:34,225 --> 00:18:35,768
Remember how we felt
after the enlightenment?

428
00:18:35,851 --> 00:18:38,353
What was that? Like 1750, or like 1650?

429
00:18:38,436 --> 00:18:40,688
- 1750. Okay, and a lot
of that was Johnny boy,

430
00:18:40,771 --> 00:18:41,939
that had nothing to do with us.

431
00:18:42,022 --> 00:18:43,441
- [Tucker] Oh no, no. John
Locke or no John Locke,

432
00:18:43,524 --> 00:18:44,275
all right?

433
00:18:44,358 --> 00:18:45,442
We came up with that idea.

434
00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:46,610
We gave him the idea.

435
00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:48,070
We separated church and state.

436
00:18:48,153 --> 00:18:48,987
We believed in something,

437
00:18:49,070 --> 00:18:51,114
we were fulfilled, you know?

438
00:18:51,197 --> 00:18:53,407
Who says that this can't be the same thing?

439
00:18:55,284 --> 00:18:57,161
- It's doubtful in these
times to get anything done.

440
00:18:57,244 --> 00:18:58,912
- Oh my god, you know what?

441
00:18:59,579 --> 00:19:00,330
You know who you are?

442
00:19:00,413 --> 00:19:01,790
You're a miserable son of a bitch.

443
00:19:01,873 --> 00:19:03,499
A miserable son of a bitch.

444
00:19:03,582 --> 00:19:05,959
- If only you weren't stuck with me.

445
00:19:06,793 --> 00:19:08,253
(Bright music playing in background)

446
00:19:08,336 --> 00:19:09,462
- What are you reading?

447
00:19:10,630 --> 00:19:11,464
- The newspaper.

448
00:19:12,423 --> 00:19:14,008
- It's Chinese.

449
00:19:14,091 --> 00:19:16,468
You haven't spoken
Chinese in like 1000 years.

450
00:19:16,551 --> 00:19:18,011
- When in Rome.

451
00:19:18,095 --> 00:19:21,597
(Bright music continuing)

452
00:19:23,766 --> 00:19:25,685
- Understand this, you
go to Las Vegas, right?

453
00:19:25,768 --> 00:19:27,770
Go to one of those magic shows.

454
00:19:27,853 --> 00:19:28,979
You're sitting in the crowd,

455
00:19:29,062 --> 00:19:30,064
and you think to yourself,

456
00:19:30,147 --> 00:19:31,230
you're wondering,

457
00:19:31,314 --> 00:19:34,400
how did that guy successfully
pull off that magic trick?

458
00:19:35,692 --> 00:19:37,653
So I was watching the news,

459
00:19:37,736 --> 00:19:41,031
and I found myself just being entertained,

460
00:19:41,114 --> 00:19:43,449
not really trying to figure out anything.

461
00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:47,828
And I realized that's what's
wrong with American media.

462
00:19:47,911 --> 00:19:50,456
There's no more active audience.

463
00:19:50,539 --> 00:19:55,543
It's just this reality
episodic television show.

464
00:19:56,168 --> 00:19:57,002
That's it.

465
00:19:58,670 --> 00:20:01,339
- I remember when journalism
was a respected industry.

466
00:20:02,256 --> 00:20:05,092
That's when the average person
didn't mind thinking so much.

467
00:20:06,218 --> 00:20:08,345
You could even say some of them enjoyed it.

468
00:20:08,428 --> 00:20:10,763
I don't know when things changed.

469
00:20:10,847 --> 00:20:13,140
Maybe after we got off the gold standard?

470
00:20:13,223 --> 00:20:15,059
People used to gather information

471
00:20:15,142 --> 00:20:16,185
on their own merits

472
00:20:16,268 --> 00:20:18,395
and then make an educated decision.

473
00:20:18,478 --> 00:20:21,147
Now they just wanna
shove down their gullet.

474
00:20:21,230 --> 00:20:21,982
(Footsteps)

475
00:20:22,065 --> 00:20:23,316
(Tense music starts)

476
00:20:23,399 --> 00:20:25,985
- [Scientist] Gentlemen,
doctor see you now.

477
00:20:26,068 --> 00:20:29,821
(Dramatic music intensifies)

478
00:20:32,239 --> 00:20:34,033
- [Tucker] Hello, doctor.

479
00:20:34,116 --> 00:20:36,202
We're waiting for a
call from our superiors,

480
00:20:36,285 --> 00:20:38,369
to tell us how they would like to proceed.

481
00:20:39,620 --> 00:20:40,580
- [Ralph] You know what
I was thinking back on?

482
00:20:40,663 --> 00:20:43,040
- What's that? - [Ralph] Watergate.

483
00:20:43,123 --> 00:20:45,209
I wish we could go back and try that again.

484
00:20:45,292 --> 00:20:47,919
- Oh, yeah. Yeah. We
did mess up a bit there.

485
00:20:48,002 --> 00:20:49,546
It wasn't our best work.

486
00:20:49,629 --> 00:20:51,047
I wish we could time travel.

487
00:20:51,130 --> 00:20:52,673
- [Ralph] I don't. - [Dr. Han Xin] Silence!

488
00:20:52,756 --> 00:20:54,467
No time travel here.

489
00:20:56,927 --> 00:20:58,345
- [Ralph] Oh, we don't
know if it's possible yet, but-

490
00:20:58,428 --> 00:21:01,848
- [Dr. Han Xin] It is very
disrespectful to history

491
00:21:01,931 --> 00:21:04,851
and it will not be tolerated.

492
00:21:05,767 --> 00:21:07,645
- I guess that's their way of
saying like no regrets, right?

493
00:21:07,728 --> 00:21:09,104
- Do Chinese people believe in that thing

494
00:21:09,187 --> 00:21:10,480
the Hindus believe in? - What thing?

495
00:21:10,563 --> 00:21:12,732
- Where you die and come
back as a tomato or something.

496
00:21:12,815 --> 00:21:14,316
- [Tucker] Your amount of
brain cells really baffles me.

497
00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:16,193
- [Ralph] In a good way? - Reincarnation.

498
00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:19,863
- [Dr. Han Xin] Silence!
Are you trying to mock us?

499
00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:22,573
- [Ralph] Not at all,
doctor. Speaking of...

500
00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:23,408
- Elephants.

501
00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:25,034
- Elephant. Yeah. I was gonna say elephant.

502
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:26,076
- I would love to come back as an elephant.

503
00:21:26,159 --> 00:21:28,871
- [Dr. Han Xin] No
reincarnation talk in China.

504
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:31,373
You stay you.

505
00:21:31,456 --> 00:21:32,373
Now enough.

506
00:21:33,791 --> 00:21:36,919
- But does anyone ever
truly remain themselves?

507
00:21:37,002 --> 00:21:38,128
Only god knows.

508
00:21:38,211 --> 00:21:42,382
- [Dr. Han Xin] I would also
avoid speaking of your god.

509
00:21:42,465 --> 00:21:43,674
- And what about yours?

510
00:21:44,550 --> 00:21:46,218
- I have none.

511
00:21:46,301 --> 00:21:49,471
- Well, back in the us, I
will tell him that you say hi.

512
00:21:49,554 --> 00:21:54,558
(Phone rings) (Bright music continues)

513
00:21:57,310 --> 00:22:00,522
Hello? Yes, this is Tucker Borgata.

514
00:22:02,940 --> 00:22:05,192
Yes, we're in the lab. Mm-hmm.

515
00:22:06,193 --> 00:22:09,612
Doctor who? Oh, oh, oh, Dr. Han Xin.

516
00:22:10,488 --> 00:22:12,407
Yes, hold on.

517
00:22:12,490 --> 00:22:13,533
It's for you, doctor.

518
00:22:16,701 --> 00:22:20,038
(Dragging phone noises)

519
00:22:33,382 --> 00:22:35,176
- [Dr. Han Xin] Please, swivel.

520
00:22:40,638 --> 00:22:44,141
(Chairs creaking)

521
00:22:44,224 --> 00:22:44,976
(Tucker sneezes)

522
00:22:45,059 --> 00:22:45,977
- [Ralph] Bless you.

523
00:22:46,060 --> 00:22:46,853
- [Tucker] Ah, thank you.

524
00:22:46,936 --> 00:22:48,312
- What do you say if god sneezes?

525
00:22:48,395 --> 00:22:49,145
- Bless you.

526
00:22:49,228 --> 00:22:50,772
- [Ralph] But whose blessing would it be?

527
00:22:50,855 --> 00:22:51,690
- Turn around.

528
00:22:53,816 --> 00:22:55,526
(Chairs creaking)

529
00:22:55,609 --> 00:22:59,112
(Bright music continuing)

530
00:23:03,783 --> 00:23:07,286
(Ceramic bowls shuffling)

531
00:23:15,625 --> 00:23:16,460
- [Tucker] I got this.

532
00:23:16,543 --> 00:23:17,294
- No, I got this.

533
00:23:17,377 --> 00:23:18,129
- Okay. Which one do you think it is?

534
00:23:18,212 --> 00:23:19,087
- I'm not telling you.

535
00:23:19,170 --> 00:23:21,256
- All right. Fine. On three.

536
00:23:21,339 --> 00:23:22,673
- [Ralph] On three right, not go?

537
00:23:22,756 --> 00:23:26,093
- [Tucker] Not go, on go.
All right? One. Yes. Go.

538
00:23:26,176 --> 00:23:28,511
- One, two, three. - Two, three.

539
00:23:30,972 --> 00:23:32,682
- [Dr. Han Xin] Good. Now leave.

540
00:23:34,976 --> 00:23:37,227
- All right. Well, see you later, doc.

541
00:23:37,311 --> 00:23:39,521
Don't go time traveling anytime soon.

542
00:23:39,604 --> 00:23:41,439
(Piano music plays in background)

543
00:23:41,522 --> 00:23:44,150
Speaker 2: Important
opportunity to put skills to use

544
00:23:44,233 --> 00:23:46,610
is a further test on the respect scale.

545
00:23:46,693 --> 00:23:50,029
A power scale is another
important yarn stick of despotism.

546
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:52,908
It gauges the citizens share

547
00:23:52,991 --> 00:23:54,867
in making the community's decisions.

548
00:23:56,076 --> 00:23:59,746
Communities which concentrate
decision making in a few hands

549
00:23:59,829 --> 00:24:01,873
rate low on a power scale

550
00:24:01,956 --> 00:24:03,624
and are moving towards despotism,

551
00:24:04,750 --> 00:24:07,127
like France under the bourbon kings.

552
00:24:07,210 --> 00:24:11,381
One of whom said, "the
state? I am the state."

553
00:24:13,132 --> 00:24:15,217
- [Advisor #1] Madam,
it's done. A plague it is.

554
00:24:15,300 --> 00:24:17,886
A sure fire way for this
all to play out in our favor.

555
00:24:17,969 --> 00:24:21,139
The experts chose
number two, a mild variant.

556
00:24:21,222 --> 00:24:24,309
- [Madam evergreen] Good.
How many variants were there?

557
00:24:24,392 --> 00:24:27,394
- Three. Well, maybe three.

558
00:24:27,477 --> 00:24:28,478
- [Madam evergreen] What do you mean?

559
00:24:28,561 --> 00:24:30,355
- Well, Dr. Han Xin said it could be three.

560
00:24:30,438 --> 00:24:32,356
It could also be 300.

561
00:24:32,439 --> 00:24:34,400
Depends on how much
you wanna stretch this out.

562
00:24:34,483 --> 00:24:36,277
- Well, let's just say there were three.

563
00:24:36,360 --> 00:24:37,278
What was number one?

564
00:24:37,361 --> 00:24:38,946
- Extinction of all human life.

565
00:24:39,029 --> 00:24:40,238
- [Madam evergreen] And number three?

566
00:24:40,321 --> 00:24:41,573
- [Advisor #1] Dry skin,

567
00:24:41,656 --> 00:24:44,241
but anyone who understands
math would never buy it,

568
00:24:44,324 --> 00:24:46,410
in tests it kills 0.02%.

569
00:24:46,493 --> 00:24:49,330
90% of those are over the age of 75.

570
00:24:49,413 --> 00:24:50,163
- [Madam evergreen] And children?

571
00:24:50,246 --> 00:24:51,247
- Oh, they'll be fine.

572
00:24:51,330 --> 00:24:52,498
They'll grow up only knowing this world.

573
00:24:52,581 --> 00:24:53,999
Oh, and the best part,

574
00:24:54,083 --> 00:24:57,002
the average life
expectancy in the us is 78.

575
00:24:57,085 --> 00:24:58,462
So, if someone gets,

576
00:24:58,545 --> 00:25:01,298
oh let's say, heart disease, or cancer,

577
00:25:01,381 --> 00:25:03,758
or hit by a bus and they die,

578
00:25:03,841 --> 00:25:05,551
if they're positive for our plague,

579
00:25:05,634 --> 00:25:07,470
we can Mark them as such.

580
00:25:07,553 --> 00:25:08,929
- We will pull strings,

581
00:25:09,012 --> 00:25:10,513
as many as possible,

582
00:25:11,431 --> 00:25:14,391
and we'll play the media
to make it the end of times.

583
00:25:14,475 --> 00:25:15,309
- [Advisor #1] Funny.

584
00:25:15,392 --> 00:25:16,226
- Sad.

585
00:25:17,061 --> 00:25:19,521
- Do you think the United
States population will believe it?

586
00:25:19,604 --> 00:25:21,690
- Remember, 50% of Americans

587
00:25:21,773 --> 00:25:24,067
still think Kennedy was killed by Oswald.

588
00:25:24,150 --> 00:25:26,193
- [Advisor #1] Hmm. Yes, we
have to keep the message going.

589
00:25:26,276 --> 00:25:29,696
We can create a narrative
that the non believers are nuts,

590
00:25:29,779 --> 00:25:31,656
bomb shelter freaks, or the like.

591
00:25:31,739 --> 00:25:32,991
- [Madam evergreen] We
can thank the teachers union

592
00:25:33,074 --> 00:25:34,200
for that.

593
00:25:34,283 --> 00:25:36,160
They teach them to read and write

594
00:25:36,243 --> 00:25:37,953
and hopefully not think.

595
00:25:38,036 --> 00:25:40,455
- Yeah, I heard Putin gets
his brilliant ideas from them.

596
00:25:40,538 --> 00:25:41,539
- And by the way,

597
00:25:41,622 --> 00:25:44,083
make sure we get the IP for the vaccine

598
00:25:44,166 --> 00:25:45,501
in an offshore company,

599
00:25:45,584 --> 00:25:49,170
but license it to one of the
big three pharma stooges.

600
00:25:49,254 --> 00:25:51,506
We don't wanna look
like we have a monopoly.

601
00:25:51,589 --> 00:25:55,468
And do not approve it until
the fat man is out, understood?

602
00:25:55,551 --> 00:25:58,762
- Oh yes, of course. What are we, savages?

603
00:25:58,846 --> 00:26:00,805
- [Madam evergreen] Ah, I almost forgot.

604
00:26:00,888 --> 00:26:03,599
It's time to get Tony fiasco on board.

605
00:26:03,683 --> 00:26:06,685
That guy loves to hear
the sound of his own voice,

606
00:26:06,768 --> 00:26:08,646
and see his face on TV.

607
00:26:08,729 --> 00:26:11,356
- The clown from the
institute of infectious disease?

608
00:26:11,439 --> 00:26:12,607
You know he's the only doctor I know

609
00:26:12,690 --> 00:26:14,066
who didn't study science undergrad?

610
00:26:14,149 --> 00:26:16,027
- I'm still dumbfounded
that he and his wife

611
00:26:16,110 --> 00:26:19,488
make almost a million dollars
a year of taxpayers money.

612
00:26:19,571 --> 00:26:20,781
- And he doesn't deserve it.

613
00:26:20,864 --> 00:26:22,448
No, I do more work than him.

614
00:26:22,531 --> 00:26:23,366
- No, you don't.

615
00:26:25,033 --> 00:26:27,828
He will be our commander
on the front lines.

616
00:26:27,911 --> 00:26:29,746
- Ooh, there's soldiers?

617
00:26:29,829 --> 00:26:31,540
- Public health agencies.

618
00:26:31,623 --> 00:26:32,666
- [Advisor #1] Their weapons?

619
00:26:32,749 --> 00:26:34,333
- [Madam evergreen] Fear.

620
00:26:34,416 --> 00:26:36,252
(Tense music playing)

621
00:26:36,335 --> 00:26:37,503
- The United States,

622
00:26:37,586 --> 00:26:40,755
produces 42% of the wealth of the world.

623
00:26:40,838 --> 00:26:44,175
Although we have only
7% of the world's population

624
00:26:44,258 --> 00:26:47,303
and 6% of the land area.

625
00:26:47,386 --> 00:26:50,388
(Tense music halts)

626
00:26:52,056 --> 00:26:53,099
- That's interesting.

627
00:26:53,974 --> 00:26:55,726
Very sexual.

628
00:26:55,809 --> 00:26:57,227
(Footsteps)

629
00:26:57,310 --> 00:26:58,436
Ralph, check this out.

630
00:27:02,524 --> 00:27:06,527
- Ah, yes. You can even see the, uh,

631
00:27:06,610 --> 00:27:08,904
Fibonacci sequence in the testicles.

632
00:27:09,946 --> 00:27:10,780
- Yeah.

633
00:27:12,573 --> 00:27:14,492
(Bright music commences)
(Footsteps continue)

634
00:27:14,575 --> 00:27:16,743
Now, let's say you have a piece of

635
00:27:16,826 --> 00:27:18,370
renaissance art commissioned.

636
00:27:18,453 --> 00:27:20,706
- Of course. What about it?

637
00:27:20,789 --> 00:27:22,290
- By the Medicis.

638
00:27:22,373 --> 00:27:23,749
- Powerful family.

639
00:27:23,832 --> 00:27:28,836
- Yes. Let's say journey
of the magi, 1459. Gozzoli.

640
00:27:29,712 --> 00:27:30,964
- Gozzoli.

641
00:27:31,047 --> 00:27:31,798
- Thank you.

642
00:27:31,881 --> 00:27:32,924
- [Ralph] Colorful piece.

643
00:27:33,007 --> 00:27:34,258
- Now, in retrospect,

644
00:27:34,341 --> 00:27:35,176
you have a brilliant painter

645
00:27:35,259 --> 00:27:37,010
who can build and break boundaries,

646
00:27:37,093 --> 00:27:39,387
but then you have the political agenda,

647
00:27:39,470 --> 00:27:40,638
the status cock waving

648
00:27:40,721 --> 00:27:42,140
of the people who
commissioned it, you know?

649
00:27:42,223 --> 00:27:43,766
And I think that's the problem

650
00:27:43,849 --> 00:27:45,893
with the background of these paintings.

651
00:27:45,976 --> 00:27:47,061
- Background?

652
00:27:47,144 --> 00:27:48,645
- A political inception of art.

653
00:27:48,728 --> 00:27:50,271
- Inception?

654
00:27:50,354 --> 00:27:51,731
- For lack of a better term.

655
00:27:53,024 --> 00:27:53,899
- Allow me.

656
00:27:53,982 --> 00:27:55,276
- Shoot.

657
00:27:55,359 --> 00:27:58,195
- Can an artist break artistic boundaries

658
00:27:58,278 --> 00:28:00,239
even if their art was incepted

659
00:28:00,322 --> 00:28:02,449
for some sort of political game,

660
00:28:02,532 --> 00:28:04,575
or cock waving,

661
00:28:04,658 --> 00:28:06,202
as you so eloquently put it.

662
00:28:06,285 --> 00:28:09,162
- I guess it's just a
dulling experience for me,

663
00:28:09,245 --> 00:28:11,539
when I see the cock waving, per se.

664
00:28:11,622 --> 00:28:13,207
- Understandable.

665
00:28:13,291 --> 00:28:16,127
It's low hanging fruit and in a way,

666
00:28:16,210 --> 00:28:17,794
creates a lack of timelessness.

667
00:28:19,212 --> 00:28:21,297
The story will fade, as all do,

668
00:28:21,380 --> 00:28:24,634
but only the art remain. Huh?

669
00:28:24,717 --> 00:28:26,844
- I guess we'll find out in the end.

670
00:28:26,927 --> 00:28:29,429
(Phone vibrating)

671
00:28:29,512 --> 00:28:30,347
Borgata here.

672
00:28:31,473 --> 00:28:32,807
Mm-hmm. New York.

673
00:28:33,850 --> 00:28:35,601
Okay. We'll make it happen.

674
00:28:39,270 --> 00:28:40,647
- Why don't they ever call me?

675
00:28:40,730 --> 00:28:42,273
- Because you're irresponsible.

676
00:28:44,650 --> 00:28:46,861
We gotta go see Dr. Tony fiasco.

677
00:28:46,944 --> 00:28:50,363
- Ugh. That clown from the
institute of infectious disease?

678
00:28:50,447 --> 00:28:51,698
- Yeah.

679
00:28:51,781 --> 00:28:53,366
- Oh, I wonder what for.

680
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:56,243
- I guess we'll find out in the end.

681
00:28:56,326 --> 00:28:59,996
(Choir singing melodiously)

682
00:29:06,710 --> 00:29:09,546
- How's it going? Ralph
darling, Tucker borgata.

683
00:29:09,629 --> 00:29:11,256
We're in to see Dr. Fiasco.

684
00:29:11,339 --> 00:29:14,008
- [Sonya] Down the hall to
the left, in the men's room.

685
00:29:14,091 --> 00:29:17,386
- The men's room? Would you throw that out?

686
00:29:17,469 --> 00:29:18,595
(Jolly upbeat music plays)

687
00:29:18,678 --> 00:29:19,638
- It's healthy.

688
00:29:19,721 --> 00:29:22,056
(Footsteps)

689
00:29:30,105 --> 00:29:32,231
- Uh, Dr. Fiasco?

690
00:29:32,314 --> 00:29:34,691
- [Dr. Fiasco] Thanks for
waiting fellas, just a minute.

691
00:29:37,235 --> 00:29:39,988
(Toilet flushes)

692
00:29:41,572 --> 00:29:43,991
(Door opens)

693
00:29:49,913 --> 00:29:51,414
What can I do for you fellows?

694
00:29:53,249 --> 00:29:56,085
- My name is Tucker borgata,
and this is Ralph darling,

695
00:29:56,168 --> 00:29:58,586
and we are... what are we?

696
00:29:59,504 --> 00:30:00,589
- Logistics specialists.

697
00:30:00,672 --> 00:30:02,716
- Logistics specialists. Yes.

698
00:30:02,799 --> 00:30:04,008
- We don't really exist.

699
00:30:05,176 --> 00:30:06,594
- Oh, and madam evergreen told me

700
00:30:06,677 --> 00:30:08,554
to hand deliver this to you directly.

701
00:30:10,221 --> 00:30:11,098
- [Dr. Fiasco] All right.

702
00:30:11,181 --> 00:30:13,433
I'll take a look at what she has to say.

703
00:30:14,684 --> 00:30:18,479
Boys, you lost big time to
that clown in office right now.

704
00:30:18,562 --> 00:30:21,272
God, that guy loves the
sound of his own voice.

705
00:30:21,355 --> 00:30:24,150
Say nothing of looking at himself on TV.

706
00:30:24,233 --> 00:30:25,609
- We really appreciate this.

707
00:30:27,027 --> 00:30:29,904
- Oh, this is good.

708
00:30:29,987 --> 00:30:30,739
(Dr. Fiasco laughing)

709
00:30:30,822 --> 00:30:31,781
This is very good.

710
00:30:33,490 --> 00:30:34,575
Oh, this is firing me up.

711
00:30:34,658 --> 00:30:36,118
Thank you boys. Thank you.

712
00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:38,704
What do you guys think of this?

713
00:30:39,620 --> 00:30:41,248
- What is it exactly?

714
00:30:41,331 --> 00:30:42,415
- You don't know?

715
00:30:42,498 --> 00:30:45,167
- [Ralph] We weren't
really fully informed yet, no.

716
00:30:46,626 --> 00:30:48,379
- Well, by the looks of it,

717
00:30:48,462 --> 00:30:51,297
we've got a worldwide plague on our hands.

718
00:30:51,380 --> 00:30:52,132
- Plague?

719
00:30:52,215 --> 00:30:53,799
- Yeah. Well, however you wanna define it.

720
00:30:53,882 --> 00:30:56,218
Flu, plague, what's the difference?

721
00:30:56,301 --> 00:30:57,636
- The lab? - Guessing game.

722
00:30:57,720 --> 00:30:58,846
- Yeah, I guess so.

723
00:30:58,929 --> 00:31:00,097
- For what reason, doctor?

724
00:31:00,180 --> 00:31:01,765
- I have no idea.

725
00:31:01,848 --> 00:31:03,557
Anything to get the fat man out.

726
00:31:05,517 --> 00:31:07,227
That's why they need me, you know.

727
00:31:08,479 --> 00:31:10,730
I'm really good at this sort of thing.

728
00:31:10,813 --> 00:31:13,733
- Fat man. Wasn't that the
nickname of the hydrogen bomb?

729
00:31:13,816 --> 00:31:17,903
- [Tucker] Yeah, exactly.
And it's quite fitting, isn't it?

730
00:31:17,986 --> 00:31:19,070
- I guess there goes an opportunity

731
00:31:19,153 --> 00:31:20,447
for good old fashioned fulfillment.

732
00:31:20,530 --> 00:31:23,366
- [Dr. Fiasco] Ah, now you see,

733
00:31:23,449 --> 00:31:25,618
you've gone with a mild variant.

734
00:31:25,701 --> 00:31:26,952
That's a shame.

735
00:31:27,035 --> 00:31:31,415
Still, my granddaddy would've
had a field day with this.

736
00:31:31,498 --> 00:31:32,248
- Granddaddy?

737
00:31:32,331 --> 00:31:34,542
- [Dr. Fiasco] Oh yeah.
Oh, he had some good times.

738
00:31:34,625 --> 00:31:36,585
I kind of look up to him as a role model.

739
00:31:36,668 --> 00:31:41,048
Still, being a devout scientist
for the Germans in 1940,

740
00:31:41,131 --> 00:31:44,050
wasn't something that was
gonna make him very popular here,

741
00:31:44,133 --> 00:31:45,885
and he was a real mensch.

742
00:31:45,968 --> 00:31:47,844
- There goes our shot
of getting into heaven.

743
00:31:47,927 --> 00:31:49,179
- We were never going to heaven.

744
00:31:49,263 --> 00:31:51,431
- Heaven is overrated gentlemen,

745
00:31:51,514 --> 00:31:53,391
and you wouldn't know anyone there.

746
00:31:55,851 --> 00:31:57,227
Be safe out there, boys.

747
00:31:58,145 --> 00:31:59,187
You're gonna need to.

748
00:32:01,147 --> 00:32:03,274
(Footsteps)

749
00:32:03,357 --> 00:32:06,569
And I'll send you a list of
stocks for your Christmas cards.

750
00:32:06,652 --> 00:32:08,403
I get them from a lady in California

751
00:32:08,487 --> 00:32:11,364
who's been in office since '87. Oh.

752
00:32:11,447 --> 00:32:14,784
(Mellow tune continues)

753
00:32:20,705 --> 00:32:21,539
(Door opens)

754
00:32:21,622 --> 00:32:24,041
Sonya. Yeah. (Door slams shut)

755
00:32:24,125 --> 00:32:27,502
Set up the meeting with
big pharma for this afternoon.

756
00:32:29,421 --> 00:32:34,425
(Intense dramatic tune
playing continuously)

757
00:33:32,682 --> 00:33:36,227
The fact of the matter is
we never saw this coming,

758
00:33:36,310 --> 00:33:39,395
but this is a catastrophe in the making.

759
00:33:40,605 --> 00:33:43,232
We're working around
the clock with scientists,

760
00:33:43,316 --> 00:33:46,568
physicians, infectious disease experts,

761
00:33:46,651 --> 00:33:50,280
but we still have no idea
what we're in the midst of,

762
00:33:50,363 --> 00:33:52,198
how long it's gonna last,

763
00:33:52,281 --> 00:33:54,325
how deeply we'll be impacted,

764
00:33:54,408 --> 00:33:57,077
or what the repercussions
are going to be long term.

765
00:33:58,661 --> 00:34:03,666
In the meantime, we urge
everyone to stay inside.

766
00:34:04,250 --> 00:34:06,585
Keep your eyes glued to the TV

767
00:34:06,668 --> 00:34:09,420
and take every precaution you can,

768
00:34:10,421 --> 00:34:13,048
but together, god help us,

769
00:34:13,966 --> 00:34:15,092
we'll get through this.

770
00:34:20,805 --> 00:34:23,807
(Cool music starts)

771
00:34:25,976 --> 00:34:27,477
- [Journalist] After many
months of searching,

772
00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:30,064
we have deduced the
true origin of the plague.

773
00:34:30,147 --> 00:34:31,731
Shing kwong dao, China,

774
00:34:31,814 --> 00:34:34,901
a laboratory that
specializes in animal testing.

775
00:34:34,984 --> 00:34:36,902
That is where the pathogen was leaked.

776
00:34:36,985 --> 00:34:38,779
Here is an audio clip of our president

777
00:34:38,862 --> 00:34:39,655
addressing the nation. - This is definitely

778
00:34:39,738 --> 00:34:40,488
gonna come back to us.

779
00:34:40,571 --> 00:34:42,907
- [Mr. President] We have
it completely under control.

780
00:34:42,990 --> 00:34:44,075
It is gonna be fine.

781
00:34:44,158 --> 00:34:45,910
- [Dr. Fiasco] We're working around clock,

782
00:34:45,993 --> 00:34:47,703
with scientists, physicians...

783
00:34:47,786 --> 00:34:48,912
- Zero again.

784
00:34:48,995 --> 00:34:50,581
That's doubtful though.

785
00:34:50,664 --> 00:34:52,665
We didn't know what we
were choosing at the lab.

786
00:34:52,748 --> 00:34:55,042
The media is sticking to the story though.

787
00:34:58,295 --> 00:35:00,588
- Do you recall the last
time that you were worried?

788
00:35:02,089 --> 00:35:07,093
- How balance is maintained
with chance, luck, and strategy?

789
00:35:09,971 --> 00:35:12,057
Perhaps if one of us, you know,

790
00:35:12,140 --> 00:35:14,559
wins the game and the scale gets crooked,

791
00:35:15,810 --> 00:35:16,894
then I might worry.

792
00:35:18,270 --> 00:35:23,024
- Right. But how long have
we been playing this game?

793
00:35:23,107 --> 00:35:24,108
- It's tough to say.

794
00:35:24,983 --> 00:35:28,361
- It is tough to say. You don't remember?

795
00:35:29,362 --> 00:35:30,239
- It was a long time ago.

796
00:35:30,322 --> 00:35:31,614
- It was a long time ago.

797
00:35:34,116 --> 00:35:35,034
- And you still haven't won.

798
00:35:35,117 --> 00:35:36,327
- And neither have you.

799
00:35:37,744 --> 00:35:39,204
- Yeah, I guess you're right.

800
00:35:40,705 --> 00:35:41,789
- I have a thought.

801
00:35:41,872 --> 00:35:42,999
- What's that?

802
00:35:43,082 --> 00:35:46,418
- Perhaps a bigger problem
is at work with this plague.

803
00:35:46,501 --> 00:35:47,377
- How do you mean?

804
00:35:48,712 --> 00:35:50,547
- Well, think about it.

805
00:35:50,630 --> 00:35:52,715
What are we doing at this very moment?

806
00:35:52,798 --> 00:35:53,674
- We're breathing.

807
00:35:54,758 --> 00:35:57,011
- Okay. You're not wrong,
but we're consuming.

808
00:35:57,094 --> 00:35:58,553
- Whiskey. - No, that.

809
00:35:58,636 --> 00:36:01,306
(Cool music continuing)

810
00:36:01,389 --> 00:36:03,432
- Ah, I see where your head is at.

811
00:36:03,515 --> 00:36:04,517
- Oh, do you?

812
00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:05,351
- Mm-hmm.

813
00:36:05,434 --> 00:36:06,977
- Enlighten the enlightened one.

814
00:36:07,060 --> 00:36:09,604
- You see the allegory
of the cave, don't you?

815
00:36:09,688 --> 00:36:12,607
We're all in our own idiosyncratic caves

816
00:36:12,690 --> 00:36:15,860
watching shadows on
the wall, political fires,

817
00:36:15,943 --> 00:36:19,112
and there's puppets dancing around.

818
00:36:19,195 --> 00:36:21,447
- Yeah. And I see a
lot of problem with that.

819
00:36:22,615 --> 00:36:24,992
- You and I know exactly
what's going on here.

820
00:36:25,075 --> 00:36:26,285
The plague is real.

821
00:36:26,368 --> 00:36:27,870
The plague is dangerous.

822
00:36:27,953 --> 00:36:29,871
A microscopic airborne terrorist,

823
00:36:29,954 --> 00:36:31,873
its inception calculated.

824
00:36:31,956 --> 00:36:34,083
Now let me ask you something.

825
00:36:34,166 --> 00:36:36,294
Do you think the American
people were paranoid before,

826
00:36:36,377 --> 00:36:39,212
or after the media aired all this?

827
00:36:42,715 --> 00:36:44,967
I mean, it's normal to be fearful, right?

828
00:36:45,050 --> 00:36:48,553
But the fearfulness was
instilled in us a long time ago.

829
00:36:54,517 --> 00:36:57,102
- You know, for a moment back at the lab,

830
00:36:58,103 --> 00:37:01,273
I was pretty excited.
(Cool music continuing)

831
00:37:01,356 --> 00:37:02,607
- Yeah. Me too.

832
00:37:05,567 --> 00:37:06,985
Back to the game.

833
00:37:12,448 --> 00:37:13,199
(Triangular dice roll on table)

834
00:37:13,283 --> 00:37:16,827
(Knock at the door)

835
00:37:16,911 --> 00:37:18,120
You get it.

836
00:37:18,203 --> 00:37:21,497
- Who is it? You get it.
(Dramatic tune playing)

837
00:37:21,580 --> 00:37:23,666
- I don't know who it is.

838
00:37:24,833 --> 00:37:25,585
- I'll get it.

839
00:37:25,668 --> 00:37:30,422
(Persistent knocking on door) One second.

840
00:37:41,514 --> 00:37:43,849
(Footsteps)

841
00:37:54,358 --> 00:37:56,360
- The royal game of UR.

842
00:37:56,443 --> 00:37:57,610
- You know it?

843
00:37:59,737 --> 00:38:01,323
- Familiar with it.

844
00:38:03,490 --> 00:38:06,244
No one knows the oldest
board game in history. Hm?

845
00:38:06,327 --> 00:38:07,869
- Yes. Quite astute.

846
00:38:09,162 --> 00:38:09,996
- I'll get to it.

847
00:38:11,664 --> 00:38:14,083
My name is rich jonsie.

848
00:38:14,166 --> 00:38:16,835
When my parents were
alive, young, and in school,

849
00:38:16,919 --> 00:38:17,836
they were told

850
00:38:19,170 --> 00:38:21,882
that when and if the Russians
dropped a nuclear weapon

851
00:38:21,965 --> 00:38:23,299
on the United States of America,

852
00:38:23,382 --> 00:38:25,050
all the children must do,

853
00:38:26,176 --> 00:38:29,721
is get under their
desk in order to be safe.

854
00:38:31,973 --> 00:38:35,101
I often think of the madman

855
00:38:35,184 --> 00:38:36,852
in the department of education

856
00:38:36,935 --> 00:38:39,270
that would pass that with a straight face.

857
00:38:41,481 --> 00:38:43,483
I am a reporter.

858
00:38:43,566 --> 00:38:46,318
I am a truth seeker,

859
00:38:46,401 --> 00:38:48,570
and I know who you two are.

860
00:38:48,653 --> 00:38:50,196
- It came back to us.

861
00:38:50,279 --> 00:38:52,866
- Please let me handle this, all right?

862
00:38:52,949 --> 00:38:54,950
What did we do, exactly, Mr. Jonsie?

863
00:38:55,033 --> 00:38:57,369
- [Jonsie] You started this mess.

864
00:38:57,452 --> 00:39:00,205
This is no longer a game of power, is it?

865
00:39:00,288 --> 00:39:02,707
It's a game of control, truth, safety,

866
00:39:04,125 --> 00:39:05,751
and I cannot stand by

867
00:39:06,752 --> 00:39:08,003
while eyes are being blinded

868
00:39:08,086 --> 00:39:11,089
for the benefit of a few measly lives.

869
00:39:11,172 --> 00:39:12,632
No, that's not in my blood.

870
00:39:12,715 --> 00:39:14,216
Any men with allegiance I can respect,

871
00:39:14,299 --> 00:39:15,634
but this has gone too far.

872
00:39:15,718 --> 00:39:16,718
- Definitely came back to us.

873
00:39:16,801 --> 00:39:18,595
- We have no allegiance.

874
00:39:19,971 --> 00:39:22,140
We do as we're told, it's our job.

875
00:39:26,644 --> 00:39:28,436
- Have you gotten no heart?

876
00:39:29,312 --> 00:39:31,022
Economy crushed,

877
00:39:31,105 --> 00:39:32,231
families frightened,

878
00:39:33,315 --> 00:39:36,319
whose order could this have been?

879
00:39:36,402 --> 00:39:37,695
- You want this one or may I?

880
00:39:37,778 --> 00:39:38,779
- No, no. Please.

881
00:39:41,572 --> 00:39:43,240
- Mr. Jonsie, you see this game

882
00:39:43,324 --> 00:39:45,117
sitting in front of you right now?

883
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:47,869
We've been playing it
since the dawn of civilization.

884
00:39:48,953 --> 00:39:53,416
We have to play and
we've seen a lot playing.

885
00:39:54,333 --> 00:39:56,418
Great evil and great good, right tuck?

886
00:39:56,502 --> 00:39:57,252
- Oh yeah.

887
00:39:57,335 --> 00:40:00,463
- Yeah. And we learned a great deal.

888
00:40:01,381 --> 00:40:02,423
You know, you'd be surprised

889
00:40:02,507 --> 00:40:04,050
how much a pair of eyes picks up

890
00:40:04,133 --> 00:40:08,762
floating along the entire
river of time. Yeah?

891
00:40:08,845 --> 00:40:12,557
As I digress, walking into that lab,

892
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:14,642
the two of us wanted to make a difference.

893
00:40:14,725 --> 00:40:15,559
- [Tucker] We tried.

894
00:40:15,642 --> 00:40:17,478
- Just like round of the game,

895
00:40:17,561 --> 00:40:18,812
it too will pass.

896
00:40:19,813 --> 00:40:21,231
Yet play more, you must.

897
00:40:21,314 --> 00:40:22,858
- Gotta play.

898
00:40:22,941 --> 00:40:24,483
- Play more, you must.

899
00:40:28,904 --> 00:40:31,615
And they called me crazier.

900
00:40:31,698 --> 00:40:32,657
Then why a plague?

901
00:40:32,740 --> 00:40:34,617
- Why not a plague, huh?

902
00:40:34,700 --> 00:40:36,702
Everyone wants the fat man out of office.

903
00:40:36,785 --> 00:40:38,411
Even the people who work for him,

904
00:40:40,163 --> 00:40:41,706
they don't care.

905
00:40:41,789 --> 00:40:43,791
- [Ralph] It all boils
down to the same strategy

906
00:40:43,874 --> 00:40:45,542
to get one thing.

907
00:40:45,625 --> 00:40:46,418
It's about spending

908
00:40:46,501 --> 00:40:48,795
and who gets to write
checks to their friends.

909
00:40:50,672 --> 00:40:53,757
They're in the business of
keeping the business broken.

910
00:40:55,384 --> 00:40:56,927
- And that's why businessmen

911
00:40:57,010 --> 00:40:58,720
don't have a place in government.

912
00:40:58,803 --> 00:41:00,097
They have no skin in the game.

913
00:41:00,180 --> 00:41:01,681
- And they're all in on the game.

914
00:41:01,764 --> 00:41:03,057
- That's the joke.

915
00:41:03,140 --> 00:41:04,308
Play more, you must.

916
00:41:04,391 --> 00:41:08,311
(Bright music continues)

917
00:41:08,394 --> 00:41:09,813
- [Jonsie] Enjoy your game.

918
00:41:15,818 --> 00:41:16,735
- Geez.

919
00:41:16,818 --> 00:41:18,279
- I'm pretty sure that's the same guy

920
00:41:18,362 --> 00:41:20,447
who believes that chemtrails
controls the weather.

921
00:41:20,530 --> 00:41:22,407
- No, that's actually
the exact guy that said

922
00:41:22,490 --> 00:41:25,033
there's chemicals in the
water that turn frogs gay.

923
00:41:25,993 --> 00:41:27,995
At least he's barking up
the right tree with this one.

924
00:41:28,078 --> 00:41:30,580
- Yeah. He's a little
Cerberus of truth, that one.

925
00:41:38,086 --> 00:41:41,006
Hmm. Nice.

926
00:41:42,382 --> 00:41:43,383
- Finally.

927
00:41:43,466 --> 00:41:44,216
- [Advisor #2] We spoke to the head

928
00:41:44,299 --> 00:41:45,760
of the raccoon fundraising committee

929
00:41:45,843 --> 00:41:47,469
in Florida and New York,

930
00:41:47,552 --> 00:41:49,513
they gave us the green light to go ahead.

931
00:41:49,596 --> 00:41:51,306
- It's comical at this point,

932
00:41:51,389 --> 00:41:54,016
even his party thinks
his ideas are too radical.

933
00:41:54,100 --> 00:41:56,811
Beavers, raccoons, it doesn't matter.

934
00:41:56,894 --> 00:41:58,770
Nobody wants a government with no budget.

935
00:41:58,854 --> 00:42:01,398
He still thinks he's
running it like a business.

936
00:42:01,481 --> 00:42:02,649
It's a shame.

937
00:42:02,732 --> 00:42:04,984
The raccoons do a hell
of a job on the military.

938
00:42:05,067 --> 00:42:06,277
- Tip of the cap to them.

939
00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:07,194
- In the last 17 years,

940
00:42:07,278 --> 00:42:08,696
they've been working on a replacement

941
00:42:08,779 --> 00:42:10,405
for the Bradley fighting vehicle,

942
00:42:10,488 --> 00:42:12,532
but it cost them 22 billion.

943
00:42:12,615 --> 00:42:13,950
They don't even have a working model yet.

944
00:42:14,033 --> 00:42:14,909
That my friends,

945
00:42:14,992 --> 00:42:16,618
are the raccoons at their best.

946
00:42:17,577 --> 00:42:19,705
- My lady, we have our next candidate

947
00:42:19,788 --> 00:42:21,873
for the upcoming presidential election.

948
00:42:21,956 --> 00:42:23,999
- So, where is he?

949
00:42:24,083 --> 00:42:24,834
- Oh.

950
00:42:24,917 --> 00:42:27,252
(Footsteps)

951
00:42:28,503 --> 00:42:29,296
(Exciting tune plays)

952
00:42:29,379 --> 00:42:32,632
(Wheelchair screeches)

953
00:42:37,803 --> 00:42:40,597
Ta-dah. Leeroy bishop.

954
00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:42,890
- He's still alive?

955
00:42:42,973 --> 00:42:43,725
- [Advisor #1] Well, we figured

956
00:42:43,808 --> 00:42:45,351
we should go back to our old American roots

957
00:42:45,434 --> 00:42:48,645
with a safe, old, Caucasian male specimen.

958
00:42:48,728 --> 00:42:51,147
- [Madam evergreen] The fat
man is an old Caucasian male.

959
00:42:51,230 --> 00:42:53,691
- That's why we'll get a diverse VP.

960
00:42:53,774 --> 00:42:54,942
- Can he walk?

961
00:42:55,943 --> 00:42:56,777
- He used to.

962
00:42:58,320 --> 00:42:59,404
- [Madam evergreen] Can he speak?

963
00:42:59,487 --> 00:43:01,948
- [Advisor #1] As long
as we tell him what to say.

964
00:43:02,031 --> 00:43:04,700
- Hey, hey, hey. Gee,

965
00:43:04,783 --> 00:43:08,454
you ever grab your own brother's testicles

966
00:43:08,537 --> 00:43:12,332
while looking at your father's eyes?

967
00:43:12,415 --> 00:43:14,792
- Not yet Mr. Bishop, not yet.

968
00:43:14,875 --> 00:43:16,085
- [Madam evergreen] This will never work.

969
00:43:16,168 --> 00:43:17,836
He's incompetent.

970
00:43:17,919 --> 00:43:19,505
- He's always been slightly incompetent,

971
00:43:19,588 --> 00:43:22,048
but he's been in government for 47 years.

972
00:43:22,131 --> 00:43:23,674
He's never bothered anyone before.

973
00:43:23,757 --> 00:43:25,134
- But now he's...

974
00:43:25,217 --> 00:43:27,011
- He's a familiar face.

975
00:43:27,094 --> 00:43:28,387
People love the guy.

976
00:43:28,470 --> 00:43:30,180
Two terms as vice president.

977
00:43:30,263 --> 00:43:31,138
He's what we need.

978
00:43:32,264 --> 00:43:33,182
- Approved.

979
00:43:33,265 --> 00:43:37,603
- No taxation without resolution.

980
00:43:37,686 --> 00:43:38,687
- [Advisor #3] Mr. Bishop. I believe it's,

981
00:43:38,770 --> 00:43:40,730
"no taxation without representation."

982
00:43:40,813 --> 00:43:42,524
- [Advisor #1] Well, either
way, it doesn't matter.

983
00:43:42,607 --> 00:43:44,191
That's never actually been a thing.

984
00:43:44,274 --> 00:43:47,111
Now, let's focus on this plague.

985
00:43:47,194 --> 00:43:49,863
- [Advisor #2] Was there
really no other choice

986
00:43:49,946 --> 00:43:54,575
besides intentionally putting
our own people at risk?

987
00:43:54,658 --> 00:43:56,034
- It was your idea.

988
00:43:57,661 --> 00:43:59,413
When the economy crashes,

989
00:43:59,496 --> 00:44:01,914
people will look for
mommy and daddy to help.

990
00:44:03,290 --> 00:44:05,668
We can keep him out of sight.

991
00:44:05,751 --> 00:44:07,628
We will win this next election.

992
00:44:08,629 --> 00:44:10,796
As far as our current leader,

993
00:44:12,006 --> 00:44:16,052
our message will attack his
ability to contain all of this.

994
00:44:16,135 --> 00:44:19,012
- But what's funny,
now that it's out, is that,

995
00:44:19,095 --> 00:44:22,849
there's nothing anyone
could do to contain this.

996
00:44:23,932 --> 00:44:27,644
- Do you really think politics
was the right career for you?

997
00:44:27,728 --> 00:44:29,521
- I majored in prison studies.

998
00:44:29,604 --> 00:44:31,648
I couldn't get a job in correction.

999
00:44:31,731 --> 00:44:32,566
I thought it was a good idea.

1000
00:44:32,649 --> 00:44:34,525
- And to ease your moral mind,

1001
00:44:34,608 --> 00:44:37,945
the plague is doing
exactly what we discussed.

1002
00:44:38,028 --> 00:44:39,237
- [Advisor #2] It's the way
we would've addressed

1003
00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:40,488
social security.

1004
00:44:41,739 --> 00:44:43,866
It'll be bankrupt in a few years anyway.

1005
00:44:43,949 --> 00:44:45,993
- What if more people die than we expect?

1006
00:44:47,161 --> 00:44:48,329
What if the math is wrong?

1007
00:44:48,412 --> 00:44:50,038
- We won't allow that to happen.

1008
00:44:51,455 --> 00:44:53,499
Leaders always need followers.

1009
00:44:53,582 --> 00:44:54,667
That's the point.

1010
00:44:55,543 --> 00:44:58,086
- [Narrator 2] It is not a
conflict between people,

1011
00:44:59,462 --> 00:45:03,549
but between basic values
and systems of government.

1012
00:45:03,632 --> 00:45:06,969
Between the principles
of life each believes in.

1013
00:45:07,052 --> 00:45:09,221
When we talk of these conflicting values,

1014
00:45:09,304 --> 00:45:12,349
we are obliged to speak
of that special quality

1015
00:45:12,432 --> 00:45:14,726
which we call, for want of a better phrase,

1016
00:45:14,809 --> 00:45:16,643
individual Liberty.

1017
00:45:16,726 --> 00:45:19,020
And when we talk of
this Liberty in America,

1018
00:45:19,103 --> 00:45:21,106
we talk with many voices,

1019
00:45:21,189 --> 00:45:23,233
for we are a diverse nation.

1020
00:45:23,316 --> 00:45:26,486
And there are perhaps as many
concepts of what America is,

1021
00:45:26,569 --> 00:45:28,528
as there are people among us.

1022
00:45:28,611 --> 00:45:30,405
- [Mr. President] Thank
you for coming everyone.

1023
00:45:30,488 --> 00:45:33,241
Is anyone aware if long John silvers

1024
00:45:33,324 --> 00:45:35,784
still has the breakfast special?

1025
00:45:35,867 --> 00:45:36,660
- Mr. President,

1026
00:45:36,743 --> 00:45:38,829
we have more important
matters to attend to.

1027
00:45:38,912 --> 00:45:40,788
The plague is spreading rapidly,

1028
00:45:40,872 --> 00:45:42,957
even exponentially here in the us.

1029
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:45,626
What are we doing to prevent
it from spreading any further?

1030
00:45:45,710 --> 00:45:47,253
- [Mr. President] We
are working very closely

1031
00:45:47,336 --> 00:45:49,630
with brilliant scientists and doctors

1032
00:45:49,713 --> 00:45:52,173
who are extremely
knowledgeable about these things.

1033
00:45:52,256 --> 00:45:53,341
They're so knowledgeable,

1034
00:45:53,424 --> 00:45:56,260
I should probably ask
them about long John silvers,

1035
00:45:56,343 --> 00:45:57,552
now that I think about it.

1036
00:45:57,635 --> 00:46:00,514
- Can you be more specific,
sir? About the plague?

1037
00:46:00,597 --> 00:46:03,516
- [Mr. President] We now
know the origin of the plague.

1038
00:46:03,599 --> 00:46:05,726
Of course, we know who's behind it.

1039
00:46:05,809 --> 00:46:07,478
- I don't see how that
answers the question, sir.

1040
00:46:07,561 --> 00:46:09,062
People are losing lives.

1041
00:46:09,145 --> 00:46:10,772
Businesses are struggling.

1042
00:46:10,856 --> 00:46:12,149
These are dark times.

1043
00:46:12,232 --> 00:46:14,692
The American people need to know how we,

1044
00:46:14,775 --> 00:46:16,318
the higher ups, are handling it.

1045
00:46:16,401 --> 00:46:17,903
- [Mr. President] Don't be so dramatic.

1046
00:46:17,986 --> 00:46:20,447
The summer's gonna come and you'll see,

1047
00:46:20,530 --> 00:46:22,991
all of this will just blow away.

1048
00:46:23,074 --> 00:46:25,410
Warm air has that effect
on these type of things.

1049
00:46:25,493 --> 00:46:27,577
- Speaking of warmth, Mr. President,

1050
00:46:27,661 --> 00:46:29,913
many have taken notice
that you've withdrawn funds

1051
00:46:29,996 --> 00:46:32,331
from multiple climate
research organizations

1052
00:46:32,414 --> 00:46:34,375
and facilities in this country.

1053
00:46:34,458 --> 00:46:37,753
We are receiving massive criticism.

1054
00:46:37,836 --> 00:46:39,171
Do you think that was a good idea

1055
00:46:39,254 --> 00:46:42,549
in regards to the current
trend of forest fires,

1056
00:46:42,632 --> 00:46:44,175
extreme weather patterns?

1057
00:46:44,258 --> 00:46:46,218
- [Mr. President] Well,
I'm a very smart man.

1058
00:46:46,301 --> 00:46:48,637
Many people in my family were professors

1059
00:46:48,720 --> 00:46:50,263
at Ivy league schools.

1060
00:46:50,346 --> 00:46:52,015
I come from a very smart family.

1061
00:46:52,098 --> 00:46:54,517
We know about these things.

1062
00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:55,935
- Yes, Mr. President,

1063
00:46:56,018 --> 00:46:57,102
but it's gonna be hard

1064
00:46:57,185 --> 00:46:58,979
to sell that narrative to the public,

1065
00:46:59,062 --> 00:47:01,315
that your family knows
more than the science proves.

1066
00:47:01,398 --> 00:47:03,024
- [Mr. President] Not
sure if the science knows,

1067
00:47:03,107 --> 00:47:04,608
but look out the window,

1068
00:47:04,691 --> 00:47:06,277
do you see climate change?

1069
00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:07,986
I called my sister the other day,

1070
00:47:08,069 --> 00:47:09,905
she doesn't see any climate change.

1071
00:47:09,988 --> 00:47:12,282
It is a hoax created by the Russians

1072
00:47:12,365 --> 00:47:16,327
to stop our manufacturing,
as simple as that.

1073
00:47:16,410 --> 00:47:19,621
- Yes, sir. So now let's talk
about affordable healthcare.

1074
00:47:19,704 --> 00:47:21,289
- [Mr. President] There
will be no need for it.

1075
00:47:21,372 --> 00:47:23,541
Eat your Greens, get plenty of rest,

1076
00:47:23,624 --> 00:47:25,876
you'll be fine, no healthcare is needed.

1077
00:47:25,959 --> 00:47:29,296
(Dramatic tune playing)

1078
00:47:32,214 --> 00:47:34,550
(Footsteps)

1079
00:47:42,014 --> 00:47:46,185
- Gentlemen, Mr. President,
my name is rich jonsie.

1080
00:47:46,268 --> 00:47:48,312
I am a top reporter, I am a truth seeker,

1081
00:47:48,395 --> 00:47:50,939
and I have very significant information

1082
00:47:51,022 --> 00:47:52,315
about those behind the plague.

1083
00:47:52,398 --> 00:47:54,359
- [Mr. President] We know who's behind it.

1084
00:47:54,442 --> 00:47:56,652
Thank you. You're doing good work.

1085
00:47:56,735 --> 00:48:00,197
- Who? Your boundless imagination
never ceases to amaze me.

1086
00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:02,198
Of course, the world health organization.

1087
00:48:02,281 --> 00:48:04,367
How did it slip my mind?

1088
00:48:04,450 --> 00:48:08,036
Anyways, just a moment
of your time, it's all I need.

1089
00:48:09,663 --> 00:48:13,666
This is all a master plan
to use governmental parties

1090
00:48:13,749 --> 00:48:17,169
and public health organizations
to politicize a mass plague.

1091
00:48:17,252 --> 00:48:20,338
Politicizing things in this
nature has been nothing new,

1092
00:48:20,421 --> 00:48:23,591
but I believe it's time
for us to open our eyes.

1093
00:48:23,674 --> 00:48:26,636
- [Mr. Hoosier] Mr. Jonsie,
how do you know all this?

1094
00:48:26,719 --> 00:48:28,512
- [Jonsie] It's my job.

1095
00:48:28,595 --> 00:48:30,764
I don't give a damn
about low level politics

1096
00:48:30,847 --> 00:48:33,850
or who gets to sit behind
a nice, pretty white desk.

1097
00:48:33,933 --> 00:48:36,102
I'm here to stop world
domination, mass censorship,

1098
00:48:36,185 --> 00:48:39,688
and making deals with
interdimensional beings.

1099
00:48:40,521 --> 00:48:41,356
Mr. Hoosier: Beings?

1100
00:48:41,439 --> 00:48:44,025
(Loud thud) (Intense dramatic tune plays)

1101
00:48:44,108 --> 00:48:45,860
- It was just a vase.

1102
00:48:47,027 --> 00:48:51,322
- Close call. Good looking out, soldier.

1103
00:48:51,405 --> 00:48:53,616
Back to the meeting at hand.

1104
00:48:55,534 --> 00:48:56,952
- Mr. President, what do you make of this?

1105
00:48:57,035 --> 00:48:58,620
- [Mr. President] I have one question.

1106
00:48:58,703 --> 00:49:00,872
Does this tie go well with this jacket?

1107
00:49:00,955 --> 00:49:03,582
- It does, sir. It always does.

1108
00:49:03,666 --> 00:49:06,960
If it didn't, I would tell you.

1109
00:49:07,043 --> 00:49:08,587
Those who're behind all this,

1110
00:49:08,670 --> 00:49:10,672
what is their end game?

1111
00:49:10,755 --> 00:49:13,007
- Mr. Hoosier, would you
like to know a famous saying

1112
00:49:13,090 --> 00:49:14,174
about the art of war?

1113
00:49:15,217 --> 00:49:17,678
Strangle them with their own systems.

1114
00:49:17,761 --> 00:49:19,929
This is only the beginning, I say.

1115
00:49:22,223 --> 00:49:23,599
I have been following the two sheep

1116
00:49:23,682 --> 00:49:25,017
that I know left the mudslide,

1117
00:49:25,100 --> 00:49:26,727
who I know are working for madam evergreen

1118
00:49:26,810 --> 00:49:29,312
and the unpatriotic party of beavers.

1119
00:49:31,564 --> 00:49:33,692
I am going to report this to the world.

1120
00:49:33,775 --> 00:49:35,109
The world must know.

1121
00:49:35,192 --> 00:49:36,860
- It's not your jurisdiction, jonsie.

1122
00:49:36,943 --> 00:49:39,320
Sit back, let us take care of this.

1123
00:49:40,821 --> 00:49:43,032
We appreciate you
bringing us this information,

1124
00:49:43,115 --> 00:49:44,366
but you're hereby relieved.

1125
00:49:44,450 --> 00:49:45,576
Your scorned reputation

1126
00:49:45,660 --> 00:49:47,661
is not one we want involvement with.

1127
00:49:47,744 --> 00:49:49,538
This is an act of war,

1128
00:49:50,830 --> 00:49:51,706
civil war.

1129
00:49:52,957 --> 00:49:53,957
- Yes, sir.

1130
00:49:57,878 --> 00:50:00,547
Good day. Bid you adieu.

1131
00:50:05,717 --> 00:50:06,552
- Watch him.

1132
00:50:10,471 --> 00:50:12,932
Mr. President, if you allow me,

1133
00:50:13,015 --> 00:50:15,727
I'd like to activate code Robert Liston.

1134
00:50:15,810 --> 00:50:16,978
- [Narrator 4] For those who don't know,

1135
00:50:17,061 --> 00:50:18,270
Robert Liston was known as

1136
00:50:18,353 --> 00:50:20,564
the fastest surgeon in the west end.

1137
00:50:20,647 --> 00:50:23,524
He could amputate a leg
in two and a half minutes.

1138
00:50:23,607 --> 00:50:24,859
He's also known for performing

1139
00:50:24,942 --> 00:50:27,778
the only surgery with
a 300% mortality rate,

1140
00:50:27,861 --> 00:50:29,488
by accidentally killing his patient,

1141
00:50:29,571 --> 00:50:30,655
his assistant,

1142
00:50:30,738 --> 00:50:32,865
and a nearby spectator who died of fright.

1143
00:50:33,741 --> 00:50:35,118
- With all my heart,

1144
00:50:35,201 --> 00:50:35,951
I hope you believed me

1145
00:50:36,034 --> 00:50:38,620
when I told you that tie
goes well with that jacket.

1146
00:50:41,914 --> 00:50:44,000
(Radio tower beeping)

1147
00:50:44,083 --> 00:50:45,292
- [Jonsie] Welcome back to war games.

1148
00:50:45,375 --> 00:50:47,711
I am your host rich jonsie.

1149
00:50:47,794 --> 00:50:49,129
Many of you have been asking me

1150
00:50:49,212 --> 00:50:51,464
pressing questions about the plague,

1151
00:50:51,547 --> 00:50:55,634
and its origins, and the upcoming election.

1152
00:50:57,010 --> 00:50:58,637
And I'm afraid, dear viewer,

1153
00:50:58,720 --> 00:51:00,763
you must hear what I have to say.

1154
00:51:02,807 --> 00:51:05,476
You see, this is all been an elaborate play

1155
00:51:05,559 --> 00:51:07,102
to overtake the white house,

1156
00:51:07,185 --> 00:51:08,812
the treasury, and all under its reign.

1157
00:51:08,895 --> 00:51:12,065
And at the center of
these devious twisted plots

1158
00:51:12,148 --> 00:51:17,152
are two men by the name of
Tucker borgata and Ralph darling.

1159
00:51:17,736 --> 00:51:20,822
Who knows how deep this goes?

1160
00:51:20,905 --> 00:51:23,324
All I know is that I am a truth seeker

1161
00:51:24,700 --> 00:51:26,827
and will hunt the snakes in grass.

1162
00:51:26,910 --> 00:51:28,745
(Phone rings)

1163
00:51:28,828 --> 00:51:29,662
Jonsie.

1164
00:51:35,501 --> 00:51:36,668
They're coming for me.

1165
00:51:38,169 --> 00:51:39,838
I always knew this day would come.

1166
00:51:39,921 --> 00:51:40,797
- [Speaker 36] Go, go, go.

1167
00:51:40,881 --> 00:51:42,174
- [Jonsie] Capitalism works.

1168
00:51:42,257 --> 00:51:45,467
In 250 years, we were number one in math,

1169
00:51:45,550 --> 00:51:46,760
science (indistinct)...

1170
00:51:46,843 --> 00:51:47,803
(Radio static sounds)

1171
00:51:47,886 --> 00:51:50,221
- [Ralph] Oh, this is not good.

1172
00:51:50,304 --> 00:51:52,557
- It looks like journalism's
making a comeback.

1173
00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:54,767
- Yeah, but now it really came back to us.

1174
00:51:55,768 --> 00:51:56,769
- Who cares?

1175
00:52:01,606 --> 00:52:04,859
(Soft tense tune begins)

1176
00:52:04,942 --> 00:52:06,235
Ralph?

1177
00:52:06,318 --> 00:52:07,361
- Yeah.

1178
00:52:07,444 --> 00:52:08,236
- Ralph?

1179
00:52:08,319 --> 00:52:09,154
- What?

1180
00:52:11,989 --> 00:52:13,575
Tucker?

1181
00:52:13,658 --> 00:52:14,951
- Ralph?

1182
00:52:15,034 --> 00:52:16,577
- What does that mean?

1183
00:52:16,660 --> 00:52:17,578
- What?

1184
00:52:17,661 --> 00:52:19,246
- You won.

1185
00:52:19,329 --> 00:52:20,163
- I won?

1186
00:52:21,915 --> 00:52:22,748
- Tucker?

1187
00:52:24,041 --> 00:52:25,376
- Ralph.

1188
00:52:25,459 --> 00:52:26,418
- What does that mean?

1189
00:52:26,502 --> 00:52:29,921
(Loud knock at the door)

1190
00:52:40,972 --> 00:52:43,308
(Footsteps)

1191
00:52:52,481 --> 00:52:54,609
Tucker? Tucker? Tucker? Tucker, help!

1192
00:52:54,692 --> 00:52:57,027
(Somber tune playing)

1193
00:52:57,110 --> 00:52:58,946
- [Narrator 2] As we please,

1194
00:52:59,029 --> 00:53:02,991
our government represents us, the people.

1195
00:53:03,074 --> 00:53:06,868
Our government is our
servant, not our master.

1196
00:53:08,161 --> 00:53:11,123
We can work, we can fight too,

1197
00:53:11,206 --> 00:53:12,999
that government of the people,

1198
00:53:13,082 --> 00:53:15,167
by the people, and for the people,

1199
00:53:15,250 --> 00:53:17,169
shall not perish from the earth.

1200
00:53:18,044 --> 00:53:19,504
That's what Lincoln said,

1201
00:53:20,421 --> 00:53:22,506
not that everybody agreed, even then.

1202
00:53:23,466 --> 00:53:26,051
Lincoln was shot, remember?

1203
00:53:26,134 --> 00:53:30,388
- [Father] They've taken our freedoms away.

1204
00:53:31,806 --> 00:53:34,350
(Angry zeitgeist protesting)

1205
00:53:34,433 --> 00:53:39,437
They ordered us to wear
a mask to cover our mouth.

1206
00:53:42,565 --> 00:53:44,399
A symbol, I see it as.

1207
00:53:46,443 --> 00:53:47,527
They wanna shut us up.

1208
00:53:48,778 --> 00:53:53,199
And our god given leader, Mr. President,

1209
00:53:54,450 --> 00:53:56,702
is gonna get rid of this here plague.

1210
00:53:57,577 --> 00:54:00,622
They wanna see him gone, gone, and gone.

1211
00:54:02,081 --> 00:54:04,000
When I was a little boy,

1212
00:54:04,083 --> 00:54:04,833
(intense tense dramatic music playing)

1213
00:54:04,917 --> 00:54:06,502
Growing up in a small town,

1214
00:54:08,086 --> 00:54:10,296
my best friend Johnny's grandfather,

1215
00:54:11,631 --> 00:54:13,466
ran the local grain mill.

1216
00:54:13,549 --> 00:54:15,092
After his funeral service

1217
00:54:15,175 --> 00:54:18,512
I remember all these
people coming up to Johnny,

1218
00:54:21,180 --> 00:54:26,184
and telling him what a great
man his grandfather was.

1219
00:54:27,185 --> 00:54:29,146
From that day,

1220
00:54:29,229 --> 00:54:33,107
I dreamed of having a business of my own,

1221
00:54:35,776 --> 00:54:37,486
where I could give people jobs,

1222
00:54:38,612 --> 00:54:41,364
helping put food on their tables.

1223
00:54:41,447 --> 00:54:45,617
Six months ago, I had to shut it down.

1224
00:54:47,994 --> 00:54:52,999
And now all I get are
handouts like everybody else,

1225
00:54:57,085 --> 00:54:59,296
that's not the way it used to be.

1226
00:54:59,379 --> 00:55:02,298
That's not the way it is supposed to be,

1227
00:55:02,381 --> 00:55:04,050
(crowd applauding)

1228
00:55:04,133 --> 00:55:06,218
Because that ain't right.

1229
00:55:08,428 --> 00:55:09,846
We're in circles.

1230
00:55:12,765 --> 00:55:14,016
Speak of those,

1231
00:55:15,059 --> 00:55:19,396
who brought this plague
on the whole wide world.

1232
00:55:19,479 --> 00:55:22,398
It's time we take our country back.

1233
00:55:25,609 --> 00:55:28,611
We're gonna make America ours again.

1234
00:55:31,030 --> 00:55:34,033
We're gonna make America 'z' again.

1235
00:55:34,116 --> 00:55:37,119
(Audience clapping and applauding)

1236
00:55:37,202 --> 00:55:40,371
(Bright tune playing)

1237
00:55:41,289 --> 00:55:42,082
- [Constituent #1] You're right, sir.

1238
00:55:42,165 --> 00:55:44,584
I put on 50 pounds just this year alone.

1239
00:55:44,667 --> 00:55:47,294
Hell I was a fat bastard to begin with,

1240
00:55:47,377 --> 00:55:49,380
but this is just ridiculous.

1241
00:55:49,463 --> 00:55:52,131
- [Constituent #2] I can't
stop watching pornography.

1242
00:55:53,174 --> 00:55:58,178
- I got drinking issues.

1243
00:56:01,264 --> 00:56:02,098
- [Constituent #1] I'm pretty sure

1244
00:56:02,181 --> 00:56:03,557
you had that already, champ.

1245
00:56:03,640 --> 00:56:04,725
(Group laughing)

1246
00:56:04,808 --> 00:56:09,813
So, are you serious about
stringing these two boys up?

1247
00:56:10,646 --> 00:56:12,899
- [Father] John, you know I am.

1248
00:56:12,982 --> 00:56:14,609
Don't you doubt it.

1249
00:56:14,692 --> 00:56:16,151
Don't none of y'all doubt it.

1250
00:56:17,652 --> 00:56:19,237
- So you got a plan, then?

1251
00:56:20,739 --> 00:56:21,990
- Let me tell you what.

1252
00:56:23,116 --> 00:56:27,119
This plague, is a plague I tell you.

1253
00:56:27,953 --> 00:56:29,121
Oh yes, it is.

1254
00:56:30,455 --> 00:56:32,707
Not a physical one.

1255
00:56:32,790 --> 00:56:35,917
Not like the frogs or
the locust in the Bible,

1256
00:56:36,835 --> 00:56:39,504
but a psychological one,

1257
00:56:39,587 --> 00:56:41,089
a plague of the mind,

1258
00:56:41,172 --> 00:56:43,049
and those in control

1259
00:56:43,132 --> 00:56:47,428
think they can scare us back inside,

1260
00:56:47,511 --> 00:56:50,597
back into the deep
dark reaches of solitude.

1261
00:56:52,265 --> 00:56:54,767
And by heaven's whispers,

1262
00:56:54,850 --> 00:56:56,769
something's gotta be done.

1263
00:56:56,852 --> 00:57:00,563
And there ain't nobody
can do nothing, excepting us.

1264
00:57:01,481 --> 00:57:04,942
- It just seems a little
bit excessive, is all.

1265
00:57:07,068 --> 00:57:09,112
That man, even I'm scared of death.

1266
00:57:10,280 --> 00:57:14,700
- Carl, think about this.

1267
00:57:16,076 --> 00:57:21,080
After 9/11, thousands of people dead,

1268
00:57:22,790 --> 00:57:26,460
we all lost friends, family.

1269
00:57:27,878 --> 00:57:29,796
After all that,

1270
00:57:29,879 --> 00:57:34,675
they used the patriot act
to keep an eye on everyone,

1271
00:57:34,758 --> 00:57:39,054
to spy on us in the
name of national security.

1272
00:57:39,137 --> 00:57:42,099
Now, do you understand what that means?

1273
00:57:42,182 --> 00:57:44,225
What that entails?

1274
00:57:44,308 --> 00:57:45,810
Well, what we're talking about right here,

1275
00:57:45,893 --> 00:57:50,313
that is the same genre of menace.

1276
00:57:50,396 --> 00:57:51,230
- We could loot.

1277
00:57:52,106 --> 00:57:55,693
We could loot the big stores, you know,

1278
00:57:55,776 --> 00:57:58,237
hit them where it hurts, the wallet.

1279
00:57:58,320 --> 00:58:00,780
- That has already been done.

1280
00:58:00,863 --> 00:58:03,032
- [Constituent #2] All ready been done.

1281
00:58:03,115 --> 00:58:06,327
- This is about something much bigger.

1282
00:58:06,410 --> 00:58:08,286
This is about control.

1283
00:58:10,330 --> 00:58:13,624
They're advertising
the deaths on television,

1284
00:58:15,960 --> 00:58:18,254
they stream a poll all day long

1285
00:58:18,337 --> 00:58:20,631
to make sure you know people are dying

1286
00:58:20,714 --> 00:58:23,091
and that you, you, and you can die too.

1287
00:58:25,593 --> 00:58:27,511
(Classic tune playing in background)

1288
00:58:27,594 --> 00:58:30,263
Everybody's frustrated.

1289
00:58:31,431 --> 00:58:32,849
Everybody's angry.

1290
00:58:34,016 --> 00:58:36,185
Everyone's wondering what to do,

1291
00:58:36,268 --> 00:58:39,104
but I sure as hell ain't everyone.

1292
00:58:40,730 --> 00:58:43,483
- You know, it seems drastic, certainly.

1293
00:58:43,566 --> 00:58:46,903
- Election night is
right around the corner.

1294
00:58:46,986 --> 00:58:48,445
- [Constituent #3] Yes it is.

1295
00:58:48,528 --> 00:58:49,280
(Classic tune playing continuously)

1296
00:58:49,363 --> 00:58:51,322
- And that night,

1297
00:58:51,405 --> 00:58:52,823
is going to determine

1298
00:58:54,158 --> 00:58:59,079
the fate and the direction of our country.

1299
00:59:00,288 --> 00:59:04,083
And I'm gonna make sure all hell breaks,

1300
00:59:04,166 --> 00:59:04,959
do you hear me?

1301
00:59:05,042 --> 00:59:07,378
All hell's gonna break.

1302
00:59:07,461 --> 00:59:10,046
Gentlemen, this storm is coming,

1303
00:59:11,131 --> 00:59:14,258
one way or another.

1304
00:59:14,341 --> 00:59:16,176
And we are the clouds.

1305
00:59:17,219 --> 00:59:19,054
We're the clouds, I tell you.

1306
00:59:19,137 --> 00:59:19,888
The clouds!

1307
00:59:19,971 --> 00:59:22,056
- [Group 'z'] The clouds!

1308
00:59:23,016 --> 00:59:24,434
- Where do you think they got these bags?

1309
00:59:24,517 --> 00:59:25,476
They smell musty.

1310
00:59:30,230 --> 00:59:32,398
What in crazy god's name is this?

1311
00:59:32,482 --> 00:59:33,733
- [Tucker] I do not know.

1312
00:59:35,109 --> 00:59:36,694
- What about the game?

1313
00:59:36,777 --> 00:59:37,611
- What game?

1314
00:59:38,695 --> 00:59:40,030
- Don't be funny right now.

1315
00:59:47,536 --> 00:59:48,370
- Stop it, all right?

1316
00:59:48,453 --> 00:59:50,622
- This isn't right. Okay?

1317
00:59:50,705 --> 00:59:51,622
Something is going on.

1318
00:59:51,706 --> 00:59:53,333
You can feel it, can't you?

1319
00:59:53,416 --> 00:59:54,834
- Don't know. I can't...

1320
00:59:54,917 --> 00:59:55,668
- What are you, an imbecile?

1321
00:59:55,751 --> 00:59:57,211
- Are you?

1322
00:59:57,294 --> 01:00:01,673
- Tucker, the game's
over and we're traitors.

1323
01:00:02,089 --> 01:00:03,717
- Why do you care?

1324
01:00:03,800 --> 01:00:06,219
- You know the penalty for
traitors on this rock, don't you?

1325
01:00:06,302 --> 01:00:07,303
- I do not care.

1326
01:00:07,386 --> 01:00:12,390
- Death. I am not ready to
die, Tucker. I'm really not.

1327
01:00:12,473 --> 01:00:15,184
- Oh yeah? You were the other day

1328
01:00:15,267 --> 01:00:16,185
and the day before that

1329
01:00:16,268 --> 01:00:17,019
and the day before that.

1330
01:00:17,102 --> 01:00:18,354
What's changed?

1331
01:00:18,437 --> 01:00:21,022
- I see. You're in denial.

1332
01:00:21,898 --> 01:00:24,192
- No, no denial. Denying denial.

1333
01:00:25,233 --> 01:00:27,737
- Sure. Yeah. Whatever.

1334
01:00:27,820 --> 01:00:30,155
(Footsteps)

1335
01:00:32,364 --> 01:00:34,616
Is that the vice president?

1336
01:00:39,955 --> 01:00:42,415
(Dramatic tune starts)

1337
01:00:42,498 --> 01:00:45,501
- My first combat tour, I remember it.

1338
01:00:45,584 --> 01:00:48,628
Stark beauty, it had. Afghanistan.

1339
01:00:50,213 --> 01:00:52,548
One day, we pushed away very evil men

1340
01:00:52,631 --> 01:00:55,593
from a small town, close to Jalalabad.

1341
01:00:55,676 --> 01:00:58,595
We went room to room, door to door,

1342
01:00:58,678 --> 01:01:01,180
making sure the town was dead empty.

1343
01:01:01,264 --> 01:01:03,016
We celebrated that night.

1344
01:01:03,099 --> 01:01:04,851
We could use a celebration at that time,

1345
01:01:04,934 --> 01:01:07,270
as staying alive was
getting harder and harder

1346
01:01:07,353 --> 01:01:10,063
as each day passed
through those desert stones.

1347
01:01:10,146 --> 01:01:13,232
And with each day we were more confused

1348
01:01:13,316 --> 01:01:16,693
as to what was right and what was wrong.

1349
01:01:16,776 --> 01:01:19,195
(Dramatic tune continuing)

1350
01:01:19,279 --> 01:01:22,282
Well, anyways, the town
we cleared, wasn't cleared.

1351
01:01:22,365 --> 01:01:23,574
A sect of the terrorist monkeys

1352
01:01:23,657 --> 01:01:25,075
occupying the grounds were still there,

1353
01:01:25,158 --> 01:01:27,452
hiding in the basement below our own feet,

1354
01:01:27,535 --> 01:01:28,828
fully loaded,

1355
01:01:28,912 --> 01:01:30,414
ready for anything.

1356
01:01:30,497 --> 01:01:32,081
First came the frags,

1357
01:01:32,164 --> 01:01:33,667
then the firefight.

1358
01:01:33,750 --> 01:01:35,501
We killed them all,

1359
01:01:35,584 --> 01:01:37,753
but surely it was no victory.

1360
01:01:39,337 --> 01:01:41,922
This eye was the forgiven of the two.

1361
01:01:43,633 --> 01:01:47,261
This one, not so much.

1362
01:01:47,344 --> 01:01:49,513
Which leads me to the question.

1363
01:01:49,596 --> 01:01:52,515
The electric chair, lethal injection,

1364
01:01:52,598 --> 01:01:54,559
or right here, right now,

1365
01:01:54,642 --> 01:01:56,184
with my wife Sally here.

1366
01:01:57,770 --> 01:02:00,021
- We were just following orders.

1367
01:02:00,105 --> 01:02:01,981
- What was that? Speak up.

1368
01:02:02,064 --> 01:02:07,068
- Mr. Hoosier, we don't
wanna die right now.

1369
01:02:07,403 --> 01:02:09,529
We make no decisions.

1370
01:02:10,363 --> 01:02:14,784
We are just sheep for beavers and raccoons.

1371
01:02:14,867 --> 01:02:16,285
We have no control.

1372
01:02:17,161 --> 01:02:21,122
Please don't kill us.

1373
01:02:23,124 --> 01:02:23,957
- There he is.

1374
01:02:25,418 --> 01:02:26,919
(Mr. Hoosier huffs)

1375
01:02:27,002 --> 01:02:29,338
- I find your lack of allegiance amusing,

1376
01:02:29,421 --> 01:02:33,174
dangerous, and also useful.

1377
01:02:33,257 --> 01:02:35,259
This plague has certainly done its job,

1378
01:02:35,342 --> 01:02:37,678
completely turned the
public against our president.

1379
01:02:37,761 --> 01:02:40,138
Sure, he's outlandish
and slightly egotistical,

1380
01:02:40,221 --> 01:02:42,099
but I worked hard to get where I am today

1381
01:02:42,182 --> 01:02:43,766
and I seek to remain.

1382
01:02:43,849 --> 01:02:45,642
So listen now,

1383
01:02:45,726 --> 01:02:47,103
I will not repeat it.

1384
01:02:47,186 --> 01:02:48,604
On election night,

1385
01:02:48,687 --> 01:02:51,564
we're going to load
up a Van full of ballots.

1386
01:02:51,648 --> 01:02:54,317
Noticeably, forged ballots.

1387
01:02:54,400 --> 01:02:56,235
You two will drive the Van

1388
01:02:56,318 --> 01:02:59,321
and crash it into district
post headquarters,

1389
01:02:59,404 --> 01:03:02,240
making it seem like an accident.

1390
01:03:02,323 --> 01:03:04,951
My men will come for you
as your towing company.

1391
01:03:05,034 --> 01:03:06,535
You wait for them.

1392
01:03:06,618 --> 01:03:09,079
They will bring you to
coordinates in Arlington.

1393
01:03:09,162 --> 01:03:10,830
There, I'll put you on a plane

1394
01:03:10,914 --> 01:03:11,998
and take you to wherever you wanna go,

1395
01:03:12,082 --> 01:03:14,834
but you leave United States of America.

1396
01:03:14,917 --> 01:03:18,629
You agree now, and I
have your word or death row.

1397
01:03:18,712 --> 01:03:20,505
What do you say to that?

1398
01:03:21,589 --> 01:03:25,134
Good, and don't try anything.

1399
01:03:25,217 --> 01:03:27,761
You know how it'll go down, don't you?

1400
01:03:28,887 --> 01:03:31,055
- Mr. Vice president, why crash the Van?

1401
01:03:31,138 --> 01:03:32,932
Whose ballots will they be?

1402
01:03:33,015 --> 01:03:34,808
- Leeroy bishop, of course.

1403
01:03:34,892 --> 01:03:37,102
You two will ensure the recount.

1404
01:03:37,185 --> 01:03:39,647
Our press will be ready for the accident.

1405
01:03:39,730 --> 01:03:42,648
(Rushed footsteps)

1406
01:03:45,776 --> 01:03:49,446
(Door creaks and slams shut)

1407
01:03:49,529 --> 01:03:50,280
- [Tucker] What are you doing?

1408
01:03:50,363 --> 01:03:51,865
Do you remember the rules of the game?

1409
01:03:51,948 --> 01:03:53,658
- [Ralph] I don't remember. Do you?

1410
01:03:53,741 --> 01:03:57,036
(Door creaking)

1411
01:03:57,119 --> 01:03:58,120
(Door slams shut)

1412
01:03:58,203 --> 01:04:00,497
- I've been thinking,

1413
01:04:00,580 --> 01:04:02,832
and when I get thinking,

1414
01:04:02,915 --> 01:04:04,166
it's never good.

1415
01:04:05,959 --> 01:04:08,003
Why a plague, I ask?

1416
01:04:08,086 --> 01:04:09,713
Why a plague?

1417
01:04:09,796 --> 01:04:13,758
Project mk-ultra, paperclip, counterintel,

1418
01:04:13,841 --> 01:04:15,467
how is this any different?

1419
01:04:15,550 --> 01:04:16,302
- Now, if you think about it,

1420
01:04:16,385 --> 01:04:18,387
paperclip wasn't that maniacal.

1421
01:04:18,470 --> 01:04:19,430
You think the us government

1422
01:04:19,513 --> 01:04:21,014
would let those minds go waste?

1423
01:04:21,097 --> 01:04:23,308
- Jonsie, I don't wanna
hear a dissertation of area 51.

1424
01:04:23,391 --> 01:04:25,643
Please shut up.

1425
01:04:25,726 --> 01:04:29,062
- Area 50...? I'm not a lunatic.

1426
01:04:29,896 --> 01:04:32,732
You see, I used to go
to church every Sunday

1427
01:04:32,815 --> 01:04:34,817
when I was a boy and I know damn sure

1428
01:04:34,901 --> 01:04:37,486
I'm not the only one
who doesn't go anymore.

1429
01:04:37,569 --> 01:04:39,612
I see a fall of religion,

1430
01:04:39,696 --> 01:04:41,198
but no fall in ideology.

1431
01:04:41,281 --> 01:04:42,407
Simply a metamorphosis.

1432
01:04:42,490 --> 01:04:44,867
There'll always be crusaders, I guess.

1433
01:04:44,950 --> 01:04:45,951
- Crusaders of what?

1434
01:04:49,120 --> 01:04:53,333
- Judaism, Christianity, Islam.

1435
01:04:53,416 --> 01:04:57,002
Sounds damn near capitalism,
communism, socialism. Hmm?

1436
01:04:59,546 --> 01:05:01,840
They used to fight for their gods.

1437
01:05:01,923 --> 01:05:04,050
Now we fight for our goods.

1438
01:05:04,133 --> 01:05:06,427
I guess all you gotta do is add an O.

1439
01:05:06,510 --> 01:05:07,595
(Bright upbeat tune plays)

1440
01:05:07,678 --> 01:05:09,471
- Make yourself useful and untie us.

1441
01:05:09,554 --> 01:05:11,181
- [Ralph] Yeah. (Bright upbeat music plays)

1442
01:05:11,264 --> 01:05:12,599
- I like you better.

1443
01:05:12,682 --> 01:05:16,185
(Upbeat music continuing)

1444
01:05:22,065 --> 01:05:24,983
(Revolver loading)

1445
01:05:32,490 --> 01:05:34,992
(Phone beeps)

1446
01:05:37,243 --> 01:05:40,205
- [Chinese leader] Ah, madam evergreen.

1447
01:05:40,288 --> 01:05:44,501
I see the eagle is
getting fatter by the day.

1448
01:05:44,584 --> 01:05:48,378
The perfect snack for a hungry dragon.

1449
01:05:50,129 --> 01:05:52,298
- Everything's in motion for the election.

1450
01:05:52,381 --> 01:05:54,008
Is everything set on your end?

1451
01:05:54,092 --> 01:05:56,384
- [Chinese leader] Do
not worry about our end.

1452
01:05:57,260 --> 01:05:59,346
Where you come from,

1453
01:05:59,429 --> 01:06:03,599
everyone speaks and nobody listens,

1454
01:06:03,683 --> 01:06:05,226
where I come from,

1455
01:06:06,352 --> 01:06:10,271
one person speaks and everyone listens.

1456
01:06:11,689 --> 01:06:14,817
A lot easier, don't you think?

1457
01:06:14,900 --> 01:06:16,402
(Phone disconnects with a beep)

1458
01:06:16,485 --> 01:06:19,904
(Bright music continues)

1459
01:06:25,618 --> 01:06:27,036
- I've spoken to the Russians,

1460
01:06:27,119 --> 01:06:30,164
the Iranians, the north
Koreans, and the Syrians,

1461
01:06:30,247 --> 01:06:33,249
and they've all agreed not
to tamper with the results

1462
01:06:33,332 --> 01:06:34,833
this time around.

1463
01:06:34,917 --> 01:06:36,460
Still waiting on the Venezuelans,

1464
01:06:36,543 --> 01:06:38,253
even though I don't think that's necessary.

1465
01:06:38,336 --> 01:06:39,880
- [Madam evergreen] If a
community college professor

1466
01:06:39,963 --> 01:06:43,174
can hack into a voting
machine in less than 15 minutes,

1467
01:06:43,258 --> 01:06:45,217
then I'm sure the Venezuelans can too,

1468
01:06:45,300 --> 01:06:46,426
be vigilant with them.

1469
01:06:51,973 --> 01:06:54,308
(Footsteps)

1470
01:06:58,353 --> 01:06:59,521
- [Advisor #1] This is getting way closer

1471
01:06:59,604 --> 01:07:01,022
than we ever anticipated.

1472
01:07:01,105 --> 01:07:02,982
- Relax. It's under control.

1473
01:07:03,065 --> 01:07:04,275
You know the plan.

1474
01:07:05,526 --> 01:07:07,653
It's time to call the boys
at the teacher's union,

1475
01:07:07,736 --> 01:07:09,947
operation full court press.

1476
01:07:10,030 --> 01:07:12,324
They control the swing states.

1477
01:07:12,407 --> 01:07:13,366
And make sure we don't win

1478
01:07:13,449 --> 01:07:16,368
by more than a 6% differential, that's key.

1479
01:07:16,451 --> 01:07:19,037
- But we'll owe them forever,

1480
01:07:19,120 --> 01:07:20,664
we already have the voting
machines in our pockets.

1481
01:07:20,747 --> 01:07:21,497
Do we need to?

1482
01:07:21,580 --> 01:07:24,292
- Your kids go to private
school, what do you care?

1483
01:07:24,375 --> 01:07:27,044
I wanna focus on Pennsylvania,

1484
01:07:27,127 --> 01:07:30,297
Michigan, Georgia, north
Carolina, and Wisconsin.

1485
01:07:30,380 --> 01:07:31,381
Call it in.

1486
01:07:31,464 --> 01:07:32,799
- Madam evergreen,

1487
01:07:32,882 --> 01:07:36,552
if this goes south and
we get caught, it's over.

1488
01:07:36,635 --> 01:07:38,554
It's really over this time.

1489
01:07:38,637 --> 01:07:40,138
- [Madam evergreen] If we
don't get the white house,

1490
01:07:40,221 --> 01:07:41,472
what does it matter?

1491
01:07:42,348 --> 01:07:43,475
I'm running the show.

1492
01:07:43,558 --> 01:07:45,559
Now shut up, make the call.

1493
01:07:45,642 --> 01:07:48,728
(Bright music plays)

1494
01:07:50,021 --> 01:07:52,565
- You. With me. (Footsteps)

1495
01:07:52,648 --> 01:07:54,442
- Chief, I don't understand.

1496
01:07:54,525 --> 01:07:55,651
The plague did its job,

1497
01:07:55,734 --> 01:07:56,902
the world's against him.

1498
01:07:56,985 --> 01:07:59,154
It's unfashionable to be a raccoon.

1499
01:07:59,237 --> 01:08:00,697
A new portrait's being painted

1500
01:08:00,780 --> 01:08:02,491
the overweight, middle aged,

1501
01:08:02,574 --> 01:08:05,826
uneducated, alcoholic,
cola drinking racists.

1502
01:08:05,909 --> 01:08:07,328
It's your Magnum opus.

1503
01:08:07,411 --> 01:08:09,079
We should win it fair and square.

1504
01:08:09,162 --> 01:08:10,830
- You have a lot to learn.

1505
01:08:10,914 --> 01:08:12,039
It's a matter of security,

1506
01:08:12,123 --> 01:08:14,083
but not securing what you think.

1507
01:08:14,166 --> 01:08:16,210
What we're doing now is
double knotting the security

1508
01:08:16,293 --> 01:08:18,295
for those who own the software
and the voting machines.

1509
01:08:18,378 --> 01:08:19,338
Those who write the code,

1510
01:08:19,421 --> 01:08:21,297
those who encrypt the packets.

1511
01:08:21,380 --> 01:08:22,798
Three companies dominate

1512
01:08:22,882 --> 01:08:24,342
all electronic voting in this country

1513
01:08:24,425 --> 01:08:26,176
and each of them is privately held.

1514
01:08:27,219 --> 01:08:28,678
And clearly you don't even understand

1515
01:08:28,761 --> 01:08:29,929
the implications of that statement

1516
01:08:30,012 --> 01:08:32,098
given you haven't raised your eyebrows.

1517
01:08:32,181 --> 01:08:34,767
Look, the best thing to ever happen to us

1518
01:08:34,851 --> 01:08:37,102
was voting becoming electronic.

1519
01:08:37,185 --> 01:08:38,646
Now, we have a phone call to make.

1520
01:08:38,729 --> 01:08:41,148
(Footsteps) (Bright music continues)

1521
01:08:41,231 --> 01:08:45,359
- [Father] Listen, they're
coming through your checkpoint.

1522
01:08:45,442 --> 01:08:48,529
Now you gotta do whatever you gotta do

1523
01:08:48,612 --> 01:08:51,948
to get those traders before
they reach the highway.

1524
01:08:52,031 --> 01:08:54,659
- [Clinton] Sir, but what if
someone pauses trouble?

1525
01:08:54,742 --> 01:08:56,201
- [Father] Those lying snakes

1526
01:08:56,284 --> 01:08:58,996
are in a vehicle with bullshit ballots,

1527
01:08:59,079 --> 01:09:02,165
for that mumbling puppet on capitol hill.

1528
01:09:02,248 --> 01:09:04,667
Burn the Van, burn the ballots.

1529
01:09:04,750 --> 01:09:06,835
This is it, boys. This is it.

1530
01:09:06,918 --> 01:09:08,253
We got them.

1531
01:09:08,336 --> 01:09:09,379
- [Clinton] Cletus.

1532
01:09:09,462 --> 01:09:10,422
- [Cletus] Hmm.

1533
01:09:10,505 --> 01:09:11,631
- [Clinton] Do you think us sitting here

1534
01:09:11,714 --> 01:09:13,383
looking like a bunch of crows

1535
01:09:14,299 --> 01:09:15,760
makes us inconspicuous?

1536
01:09:15,843 --> 01:09:18,011
- [Cletus] Shut up or I'll
shoot you where you're sitting.

1537
01:09:18,095 --> 01:09:19,930
- [Clinton] How does he know all this?

1538
01:09:20,013 --> 01:09:21,890
- [Cletus] You didn't
get the email, did you?

1539
01:09:21,973 --> 01:09:23,308
- [Clinton] I ain't even got email.

1540
01:09:23,391 --> 01:09:24,934
- [Cletus] Well, we got an anonymous tip

1541
01:09:25,017 --> 01:09:26,811
from this fella named dragon,

1542
01:09:26,894 --> 01:09:28,770
seems to know a whole
bunch about the situation.

1543
01:09:28,854 --> 01:09:30,647
- [Clinton] How can it be anonymous

1544
01:09:30,730 --> 01:09:32,565
if we know who sent it?

1545
01:09:33,399 --> 01:09:35,401
- [Cletus] Well, we don't
know who dragon is,

1546
01:09:35,484 --> 01:09:37,903
but I'm sure it is a good
hearted revolutionary like us.

1547
01:09:37,986 --> 01:09:38,737
- [Clinton] Well, cletus.

1548
01:09:38,820 --> 01:09:41,531
I will tell you that dragon
does sound Chinese.

1549
01:09:41,614 --> 01:09:42,365
- [Cletus] Either way,

1550
01:09:42,448 --> 01:09:45,326
we won't be listening to a bunch
of chinamen, now would we?

1551
01:09:45,409 --> 01:09:47,369
(Cletus laughing hysterically)

1552
01:09:47,452 --> 01:09:48,787
- [Radio announcer] Leeroy
bishop has just secured

1553
01:09:48,870 --> 01:09:50,581
Illinois and Virginia.

1554
01:09:50,664 --> 01:09:52,916
He's been taking the
lead on this election day,

1555
01:09:52,999 --> 01:09:54,958
however, it is way too early to tell-

1556
01:09:56,043 --> 01:09:57,711
- I can't listen to this anymore.

1557
01:09:59,379 --> 01:10:00,714
We should have released the findings

1558
01:10:00,797 --> 01:10:03,341
from the last election
when we had the chance.

1559
01:10:03,424 --> 01:10:04,842
- Which one?

1560
01:10:04,926 --> 01:10:06,885
- Foreign bots all over the Internet,

1561
01:10:06,968 --> 01:10:07,970
voting machine hacks

1562
01:10:08,053 --> 01:10:09,972
that get swept under the rug in 21 states

1563
01:10:10,055 --> 01:10:11,681
so officials can save face.

1564
01:10:11,764 --> 01:10:13,308
- That can never get out.

1565
01:10:13,391 --> 01:10:15,226
People lose their faith
in the election process,

1566
01:10:15,309 --> 01:10:16,936
and that'll be the end of democracy.

1567
01:10:17,019 --> 01:10:19,646
Not that the United States is a democracy.

1568
01:10:19,729 --> 01:10:21,250
- What the hell are you talking about?

1569
01:10:22,231 --> 01:10:24,234
- Our government is a republic, okay?

1570
01:10:24,317 --> 01:10:25,818
It's always been a republic.

1571
01:10:25,901 --> 01:10:28,237
You know that little children's limerick,

1572
01:10:28,320 --> 01:10:29,988
"I pledge allegiance to the flag

1573
01:10:30,072 --> 01:10:31,740
of the United States of America

1574
01:10:31,823 --> 01:10:35,118
and to the republic for
which it stands." Hello?

1575
01:10:35,201 --> 01:10:38,286
(Van engine roaring)

1576
01:10:39,705 --> 01:10:40,914
Where do we go after this?

1577
01:10:40,997 --> 01:10:41,914
- Arlington.

1578
01:10:41,997 --> 01:10:43,875
- Yeah, I know. I mean after.

1579
01:10:43,958 --> 01:10:47,461
- Oh, Lichtenstein?

1580
01:10:47,544 --> 01:10:48,587
- What? No.

1581
01:10:49,421 --> 01:10:50,296
- China?

1582
01:10:50,379 --> 01:10:52,007
- I feel like we're there already.

1583
01:10:52,090 --> 01:10:54,592
- Yeah, right? Australia.

1584
01:10:55,968 --> 01:10:57,344
- There's too many spiders.

1585
01:10:59,012 --> 01:11:00,680
- You know, you never agree with me.

1586
01:11:02,724 --> 01:11:04,516
Actually, you know what?

1587
01:11:05,934 --> 01:11:08,562
Pull the Van over, I wanna drive.

1588
01:11:09,771 --> 01:11:10,522
- What?

1589
01:11:10,605 --> 01:11:11,689
- Yeah. You heard me.

1590
01:11:11,772 --> 01:11:14,149
Pull the Van over I wanna drive.

1591
01:11:15,317 --> 01:11:16,485
- No.

1592
01:11:16,568 --> 01:11:17,653
- No?

1593
01:11:17,736 --> 01:11:18,820
- I always drive.

1594
01:11:18,903 --> 01:11:20,238
- Yeah. You always drive.

1595
01:11:20,321 --> 01:11:21,614
You always take all the phone calls.

1596
01:11:21,698 --> 01:11:24,325
You always hand over all the
top secret Manila envelopes.

1597
01:11:24,408 --> 01:11:26,326
Pull the Van over, Tucker.

1598
01:11:26,409 --> 01:11:27,535
I wanna drive tonight.

1599
01:11:29,371 --> 01:11:30,372
- No.

1600
01:11:30,455 --> 01:11:33,540
(Van engine roaring)

1601
01:11:36,710 --> 01:11:37,586
Change lanes here.

1602
01:11:37,669 --> 01:11:38,796
- I know where we're going.

1603
01:11:38,879 --> 01:11:40,713
- Use your blinker. - I know.

1604
01:11:40,796 --> 01:11:43,591
- That's the wiper and not the blinker.

1605
01:11:43,674 --> 01:11:45,885
- I know. There we go.

1606
01:11:45,968 --> 01:11:47,761
- This is why I drive.

1607
01:11:47,844 --> 01:11:49,137
- Almost at the highway.

1608
01:11:49,971 --> 01:11:50,722
- All right. All right.

1609
01:11:50,805 --> 01:11:52,098
Slow down here. Slow down.

1610
01:11:52,181 --> 01:11:52,933
You're gonna get pulled over.

1611
01:11:53,016 --> 01:11:54,684
- Relax. We're not even going that fast.

1612
01:11:54,767 --> 01:11:56,101
- There's always a cop around this bend,

1613
01:11:56,184 --> 01:11:56,936
I'm telling you.

1614
01:11:57,019 --> 01:11:58,062
- Only on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

1615
01:11:58,145 --> 01:12:00,480
- Oh, okay. Only on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

1616
01:12:00,563 --> 01:12:01,648
What day is it?

1617
01:12:01,731 --> 01:12:03,650
(Police car alarm blaring)

1618
01:12:03,733 --> 01:12:05,026
- It's Tuesday, isn't it?

1619
01:12:05,109 --> 01:12:06,693
- It's election day.

1620
01:12:07,694 --> 01:12:08,529
- Oh yeah.

1621
01:12:09,780 --> 01:12:12,948
(Dramatic tune plays)

1622
01:12:14,825 --> 01:12:18,162
(Car engine shuts down)

1623
01:12:19,162 --> 01:12:20,038
Give you three to one odds

1624
01:12:20,121 --> 01:12:21,957
it's not even a real cop.

1625
01:12:22,040 --> 01:12:24,250
(Police car engine roaring)

1626
01:12:24,333 --> 01:12:26,586
(Car door slams shut)

1627
01:12:26,669 --> 01:12:29,837
(Dramatic tune plays)

1628
01:12:32,089 --> 01:12:32,841
[Cop] Evening gentlemen.

1629
01:12:32,924 --> 01:12:33,675
- [Ralph] Good evening, officer.

1630
01:12:33,758 --> 01:12:35,593
- [Cop] You guys mind putting
your masks on while we talk?

1631
01:12:35,676 --> 01:12:38,303
- [Tucker] Yeah. Yeah, sure.

1632
01:12:38,386 --> 01:12:40,097
- [Ralph] Do we have some in here?

1633
01:12:40,180 --> 01:12:41,806
Check the other thingy.

1634
01:12:41,889 --> 01:12:43,474
- [Tucker] Officer?

1635
01:12:45,100 --> 01:12:48,062
- [Cop] Hey, hey, put the gun down.

1636
01:12:48,145 --> 01:12:49,271
Put it down.

1637
01:12:49,354 --> 01:12:50,105
Put the gun down.

1638
01:12:50,188 --> 01:12:50,939
(Gunshot echos)

1639
01:12:51,022 --> 01:12:52,065
(Blood spews on Van windshield)

1640
01:12:52,148 --> 01:12:52,899
- [Ralph and Tucker] Oh, oh my god.

1641
01:12:52,982 --> 01:12:54,609
(Dramatic tune playing)

1642
01:12:54,692 --> 01:12:56,068
- [Tucker] Use the wipers.

1643
01:12:56,151 --> 01:12:57,319
- [Ralph] Oh, no, no, no.

1644
01:12:57,402 --> 01:12:58,320
- Use the wipers.

1645
01:12:58,403 --> 01:13:00,822
Not the blinkers, the wipers.

1646
01:13:02,114 --> 01:13:05,617
- Oh god. All right. That's better.

1647
01:13:10,830 --> 01:13:12,415
Who are these guys?

1648
01:13:14,875 --> 01:13:18,337
We come in peace?

1649
01:13:18,420 --> 01:13:20,421
- This is why I should drive.

1650
01:13:20,505 --> 01:13:21,798
- [Laurel Thomas] A function which involves

1651
01:13:21,881 --> 01:13:23,507
the flow of information.

1652
01:13:24,925 --> 01:13:26,552
I am Laurel Thomas.

1653
01:13:26,635 --> 01:13:29,888
We live amid the greatest
abundance of information

1654
01:13:29,971 --> 01:13:32,223
any people has ever had,

1655
01:13:32,306 --> 01:13:34,058
but survey after survey reveals

1656
01:13:34,141 --> 01:13:37,811
an astonishingly low
informational level among us.

1657
01:13:37,894 --> 01:13:40,105
To be sure, the right to remain uninformed

1658
01:13:40,188 --> 01:13:42,607
is one of the privileges of a democracy,

1659
01:13:42,690 --> 01:13:45,860
but in a contest such as
the one we are engaged in,

1660
01:13:45,943 --> 01:13:49,112
it is one of the surest
ways of losing our freedom.

1661
01:13:50,154 --> 01:13:51,823
Being informed does not mean

1662
01:13:51,906 --> 01:13:54,200
only keeping up to date on current events,

1663
01:13:54,283 --> 01:13:55,910
important though that is,

1664
01:13:55,993 --> 01:13:57,995
it means also being aware of developments

1665
01:13:58,078 --> 01:13:59,454
within our own nation.

1666
01:14:01,248 --> 01:14:02,916
- I feel like this is that time

1667
01:14:02,999 --> 01:14:05,251
when we were about to
be executed in Pompeii.

1668
01:14:05,334 --> 01:14:06,210
- I still don't forgive you

1669
01:14:06,293 --> 01:14:07,545
for leaving me alone with the emperor.

1670
01:14:07,628 --> 01:14:08,879
They thought I killed Vespasian.

1671
01:14:08,962 --> 01:14:11,089
- Yeah. I still don't believe you.

1672
01:14:11,172 --> 01:14:12,299
- I'm telling you,

1673
01:14:12,382 --> 01:14:13,550
it was the diarrhea that got him.

1674
01:14:13,633 --> 01:14:15,425
- Last time you said it was a fever.

1675
01:14:16,718 --> 01:14:18,304
Either way, I don't think mount Vesuvius

1676
01:14:18,387 --> 01:14:20,263
is going to be saving us anytime soon.

1677
01:14:20,346 --> 01:14:21,180
- Maybe a flood?

1678
01:14:22,390 --> 01:14:23,724
Earthquake's the best bet.

1679
01:14:26,018 --> 01:14:27,102
Who the hell is that?

1680
01:14:28,145 --> 01:14:30,980
(Leaves rustling)

1681
01:14:37,653 --> 01:14:40,071
- [Father] You two, know where you are?

1682
01:14:41,197 --> 01:14:42,407
- The United States?

1683
01:14:42,490 --> 01:14:44,283
(Father chuckles)

1684
01:14:44,366 --> 01:14:48,120
- This is yorktown, Virginia. Famous-

1685
01:14:49,413 --> 01:14:51,832
- for the battle of yorktown, yes.

1686
01:14:51,915 --> 01:14:55,418
- Well good for you for
knowing your American history.

1687
01:14:56,794 --> 01:14:59,629
1781, general George Washington

1688
01:14:59,712 --> 01:15:02,591
had a strategic decision to make.

1689
01:15:02,674 --> 01:15:07,177
Whether to engage Charles
cornwallis and his army,

1690
01:15:08,261 --> 01:15:11,597
in New York City, or down here in yorktown.

1691
01:15:13,974 --> 01:15:16,810
See, on these hallowed grounds,

1692
01:15:17,727 --> 01:15:21,732
an epic and climatic battle was fought.

1693
01:15:21,815 --> 01:15:26,276
Its conclusion, marked
the end of English tyranny.

1694
01:15:27,861 --> 01:15:29,112
The British surrendered,

1695
01:15:30,280 --> 01:15:33,991
and America had won its independence.

1696
01:15:35,617 --> 01:15:40,621
This battleground is
symbolic of a new dawn.

1697
01:15:44,500 --> 01:15:48,587
So we figured, why the hell
not bring you down here too?

1698
01:15:51,130 --> 01:15:55,759
Coz I'm quite fond of symbolism myself.

1699
01:15:58,470 --> 01:16:02,474
Now, we're all big boys here

1700
01:16:02,557 --> 01:16:06,769
and everybody knows what's about to happen.

1701
01:16:06,852 --> 01:16:09,104
So don't either of you,

1702
01:16:09,187 --> 01:16:10,563
say you don't deserve this.

1703
01:16:10,646 --> 01:16:12,857
You both know that's not true,

1704
01:16:15,484 --> 01:16:16,944
but if you think about it,

1705
01:16:18,278 --> 01:16:19,779
the three of us,

1706
01:16:21,405 --> 01:16:22,991
we have a lot in common.

1707
01:16:25,576 --> 01:16:26,910
We're the same really.

1708
01:16:28,245 --> 01:16:30,830
Just common men,

1709
01:16:32,039 --> 01:16:33,332
servants actually,

1710
01:16:36,085 --> 01:16:40,005
serving those in power

1711
01:16:40,088 --> 01:16:44,091
whose job is supposed to be serving us,

1712
01:16:44,174 --> 01:16:45,300
the way it used to be.

1713
01:16:47,302 --> 01:16:50,930
How did this whole
political thing get so twisted?

1714
01:16:53,682 --> 01:16:54,558
I don't know,

1715
01:16:56,309 --> 01:16:59,979
but I'm gonna give you two
a little time to ponder that,

1716
01:17:01,606 --> 01:17:02,524
and hopefully,

1717
01:17:04,191 --> 01:17:06,026
you can find your own peace,

1718
01:17:08,069 --> 01:17:11,197
before we send you on your final journey.

1719
01:17:12,865 --> 01:17:15,200
(Footsteps)

1720
01:17:19,871 --> 01:17:21,247
- Well, this is a surprise.

1721
01:17:22,748 --> 01:17:23,582
- Is this it?

1722
01:17:25,543 --> 01:17:27,670
- I think this may be the end of the game.

1723
01:17:28,921 --> 01:17:29,754
- It might be.

1724
01:17:32,339 --> 01:17:33,174
You know,

1725
01:17:35,051 --> 01:17:38,053
back at the lab all that time ago.

1726
01:17:40,972 --> 01:17:42,265
I wanted to say something,

1727
01:17:43,223 --> 01:17:44,725
but I never had the chance to.

1728
01:17:47,894 --> 01:17:48,728
- Last words?

1729
01:17:50,271 --> 01:17:51,564
(Dramatic bright music starts)

1730
01:17:51,648 --> 01:17:54,608
- You spoke of magic tricks, right?

1731
01:17:57,695 --> 01:18:00,322
For as long as you and I
have been playing this game,

1732
01:18:01,238 --> 01:18:02,991
there has never been more information

1733
01:18:03,074 --> 01:18:04,241
than there is right now.

1734
01:18:06,202 --> 01:18:09,620
Maybe the world is meant to
be more quiet than deafening.

1735
01:18:10,663 --> 01:18:12,415
Simpler, you know?

1736
01:18:13,333 --> 01:18:14,709
Like it was before the game.

1737
01:18:16,835 --> 01:18:19,796
Perhaps the reason we no
longer question what we see is

1738
01:18:21,089 --> 01:18:22,381
because of our fatigue,

1739
01:18:23,549 --> 01:18:26,969
not just you and I, but common man alike.

1740
01:18:29,721 --> 01:18:33,641
A weariness from arguing,

1741
01:18:33,725 --> 01:18:35,351
from questioning,

1742
01:18:36,435 --> 01:18:40,438
from hypocrisy and being belittled.

1743
01:18:42,065 --> 01:18:42,982
When even the belittler

1744
01:18:43,065 --> 01:18:44,609
has less an idea than you do.

1745
01:18:48,653 --> 01:18:51,614
We've seen this world go
through so many worlds of its own.

1746
01:18:52,866 --> 01:18:55,576
Maybe we did something good, huh?

1747
01:18:56,619 --> 01:18:58,203
On our last pathetic outing,

1748
01:19:00,455 --> 01:19:01,539
all those people,

1749
01:19:03,165 --> 01:19:07,544
locked away from the
fast-paced, complicated lunacy.

1750
01:19:08,587 --> 01:19:12,798
Maybe some of them, maybe some,

1751
01:19:13,924 --> 01:19:15,801
found a balance in their solitude,

1752
01:19:17,261 --> 01:19:18,970
even if it was just a mirage.

1753
01:19:20,805 --> 01:19:22,849
And if you ask me that's,

1754
01:19:23,682 --> 01:19:25,309
that's one hell of a magic trick.

1755
01:19:28,811 --> 01:19:30,355
- Did they trick you?

1756
01:19:30,438 --> 01:19:32,732
- No, they could never fool me.

1757
01:19:34,483 --> 01:19:35,317
- Well said.

1758
01:19:37,235 --> 01:19:40,989
- It was fun playing. I
can't believe you won.

1759
01:19:41,072 --> 01:19:42,198
- Me neither, honestly.

1760
01:19:46,493 --> 01:19:47,578
- Til next time.

1761
01:19:47,661 --> 01:19:51,164
(Somber tune plays)

1762
01:19:51,247 --> 01:19:52,916
(Phone beeps)

1763
01:19:52,999 --> 01:19:56,544
- [Chinese leader]
Congratulations, madam evergreen.

1764
01:19:56,627 --> 01:19:59,004
- [Madam evergreen] We
owe you. Thanks to you,

1765
01:19:59,087 --> 01:20:01,005
the idiot with the eye patch's Van

1766
01:20:01,088 --> 01:20:03,299
is probably under a lake

1767
01:20:03,382 --> 01:20:06,469
or burnt to a crisp by
his own lunatic followers

1768
01:20:06,552 --> 01:20:08,762
who don't know up from down.

1769
01:20:08,845 --> 01:20:10,388
Who knows how many eyes

1770
01:20:10,471 --> 01:20:13,516
would turn to our mules with our ballots.

1771
01:20:13,599 --> 01:20:15,977
How did you even know about the Van?

1772
01:20:16,060 --> 01:20:17,603
- [Chinese leader] Like I said,

1773
01:20:17,686 --> 01:20:19,980
where you are from,

1774
01:20:20,063 --> 01:20:23,024
everyone speaks and nobody listens,

1775
01:20:24,692 --> 01:20:25,526
but we do.

1776
01:20:26,694 --> 01:20:30,280
(Somber opera music plays)

1777
01:20:33,991 --> 01:20:34,825
- [Advisor #2] For fuck's sake.

1778
01:20:34,909 --> 01:20:36,994
Who the hell left him here alone?

1779
01:20:37,077 --> 01:20:39,329
- Congratulations on
winning the presidency.

1780
01:20:39,412 --> 01:20:42,957
- To you as well. I'll
have the beef Wellington.

1781
01:20:43,040 --> 01:20:44,667
- I'm your advisor, not your waiter,

1782
01:20:44,750 --> 01:20:46,335
but I suggest you get the Turkey.

1783
01:20:46,418 --> 01:20:47,169
- Come on Mr. Bishop.

1784
01:20:47,252 --> 01:20:48,044
We're having a party just for you.

1785
01:20:48,128 --> 01:20:50,005
- Oh, and green beans.

1786
01:20:50,088 --> 01:20:51,172
- [Advisor #3] Forget the green beans.

1787
01:20:51,255 --> 01:20:55,008
(Leeroy muttering inaudibly)

1788
01:20:56,259 --> 01:20:58,470
(Footsteps)

1789
01:20:58,553 --> 01:21:02,056
(Bright piano tune plays)

1790
01:21:05,309 --> 01:21:07,644
(Footsteps)

1791
01:21:13,816 --> 01:21:15,401
- [Advisor #1] I never
thought we could pull it off.

1792
01:21:15,484 --> 01:21:17,986
(Glass clinks on table)

1793
01:21:18,070 --> 01:21:20,363
- You know what my dad
loved about this country?

1794
01:21:20,447 --> 01:21:21,197
- [Advisor #1] What's that?

1795
01:21:21,280 --> 01:21:22,323
- The shot.

1796
01:21:23,157 --> 01:21:23,991
- Ma'am?

1797
01:21:25,200 --> 01:21:27,953
- He believed that if you worked hard,

1798
01:21:28,036 --> 01:21:31,623
you could always get a
good shot at the middle class.

1799
01:21:31,706 --> 01:21:33,166
If you worked extra hard

1800
01:21:33,249 --> 01:21:36,169
with a little bit of luck and tenacity,

1801
01:21:36,252 --> 01:21:38,294
you had a shot at the upper class.

1802
01:21:39,337 --> 01:21:41,881
- Your father grew up in
different times, of course.

1803
01:21:41,964 --> 01:21:43,758
- We created these times.

1804
01:21:45,885 --> 01:21:47,177
What's your name, anyway?

1805
01:21:48,678 --> 01:21:49,596
- William.

1806
01:21:49,679 --> 01:21:53,808
- Well, William, in the early 1960s,

1807
01:21:53,891 --> 01:21:56,977
we had a president who
wanted to change the system.

1808
01:21:57,060 --> 01:21:58,938
We tried talking to him through our people,

1809
01:21:59,021 --> 01:22:00,814
but he wouldn't listen.

1810
01:22:00,897 --> 01:22:02,982
He told us, try and make me.

1811
01:22:03,900 --> 01:22:04,733
We did.

1812
01:22:05,651 --> 01:22:07,944
And we blamed that guy
in the book depository.

1813
01:22:10,989 --> 01:22:13,741
Most of America believed
the story we told them,

1814
01:22:13,824 --> 01:22:15,743
and ever since then,

1815
01:22:15,826 --> 01:22:20,038
we decided the idea of
democracy does not work.

1816
01:22:21,289 --> 01:22:22,290
Democracy means

1817
01:22:22,373 --> 01:22:25,585
the average person votes
for what they think is best.

1818
01:22:25,668 --> 01:22:28,253
And what? Let the idiots decide?

1819
01:22:31,589 --> 01:22:32,965
The English had it right.

1820
01:22:34,300 --> 01:22:36,302
They believed the more land you own,

1821
01:22:36,385 --> 01:22:38,345
the more votes you got.

1822
01:22:38,428 --> 01:22:40,472
System worked great.

1823
01:22:40,555 --> 01:22:42,515
They loved their aristocracy

1824
01:22:43,683 --> 01:22:45,392
and they truly loved their people.

1825
01:22:46,643 --> 01:22:49,980
We give people the illusion of democracy.

1826
01:22:50,063 --> 01:22:53,483
Every time we try an outrageous idea,

1827
01:22:53,566 --> 01:22:55,610
we think we're never going to pull it off,

1828
01:22:55,693 --> 01:22:57,194
and we do.

1829
01:22:57,277 --> 01:22:59,904
It's just given us more confidence.

1830
01:22:59,987 --> 01:23:02,740
As long as our leaders
play along, all is good.

1831
01:23:06,243 --> 01:23:09,579
God help us and protect us from ourselves.

1832
01:23:11,789 --> 01:23:14,000
- The cost of doing business.

1833
01:23:14,083 --> 01:23:14,834
I guess in the end,

1834
01:23:14,917 --> 01:23:16,835
if the average person
gets his pizza and beer

1835
01:23:16,919 --> 01:23:19,004
and has a working TV,

1836
01:23:19,087 --> 01:23:20,464
that's all they really need.

1837
01:23:20,547 --> 01:23:23,716
(Bright tune begins)

1838
01:23:23,799 --> 01:23:26,176
- Guests should be arriving soon.

1839
01:23:26,259 --> 01:23:27,635
Let the games begin.

1840
01:23:31,097 --> 01:23:33,182
(Glass clinks on table)

1841
01:23:33,265 --> 01:23:36,852
(Bright music intensifies)

1842
01:23:45,192 --> 01:23:46,735
(Triangular dice rolling on table)

1843
01:23:46,818 --> 01:23:50,404
(Bright music intensifies)

1844
01:24:00,955 --> 01:24:03,708
- Do you recall the last
time you were nervous?

1845
01:24:03,791 --> 01:24:06,835
- Yeah, I think it was when
I was sucking your (beep)

1846
01:24:06,918 --> 01:24:08,754
During the renaissance.

1847
01:24:08,837 --> 01:24:09,963
(Ralph and Tucker chuckle)

1848
01:24:10,046 --> 01:24:13,549
(Bright music continuing)

1849
01:24:34,775 --> 01:24:37,861
(Bright music fades)

1850
01:24:41,489 --> 01:24:44,575
(Jolly music begins)

1851
01:25:24,692 --> 01:25:28,111
(Jolly music continuing)

1852
01:26:32,540 --> 01:26:35,042
(Music fades)