1
00:00:02,210 --> 00:00:03,461
[gasps]
2
00:00:07,924 --> 00:00:11,261
♪ I never knew there'd come a day ♪
3
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One, two, three.
4
00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:15,348
♪ When I'd be sayin' to you ♪
5
00:00:15,348 --> 00:00:18,351
♪ Don't let this good love slip away ♪
6
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Where's my... Oh.
7
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♪ Now that we know that it's true ♪
8
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♪ No, said I'd never fall in love again ♪
9
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♪ But it's real
And the feeling comes shining through ♪
10
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♪ So caught up in you, little girl ♪
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♪ And I never did suspect a thing ♪
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♪ So caught up in you, little girl... ♪
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[Evan speaks Italian]
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[Gwen] Guitar, yes.
15
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- [speaks Italian]
- I can't believe it. Hello!
16
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We are gonna sing "You Get What You Give"
by the New Radicals this year
17
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better than we ever have before.
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- I can't believe it. It's an anthem.
- Fourth year in a row.
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Mr. Marquez, Becca's being such a bitch.
20
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Oh. I... What? Whoa, now.
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She said I have no ass.
22
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Tiffany. I did not say that.
23
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Yeah, you literally did though.
You literally did though.
24
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I'm just saying it could be bigger.
25
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I-- I'm sorry,
I truly cannot comment on this.
26
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- I can, you're good.
- Becca is your best friend.
27
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Just literally go talk to her.
Figure it out.
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[Tiffany] Whatever.
29
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- Oh, it is flat. [inhales sharply]
- [whispering] Gwen.
30
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- [feedback on bullhorn]
- Attention everyone.
31
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Students, teachers, parent chaperones,
32
00:01:21,289 --> 00:01:24,042
for the most memorable weekend
of the school year,
33
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the junior class field trip.
34
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Oh! Give... Give it up.
35
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- Yes, yes, we're very excited about that.
- Whoo! [chuckles]
36
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All right. So we've got 90 minutes,
90 minutes to get there.
37
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We don't want to waste any time.
38
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So if you have to pee,
pee now or forever hold your pee.
39
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Look at this shit. "250 calories.
Contains soy and tree nuts."
40
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Boy, I'm gonna be yoked after this thing.
41
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I hope you don't plan
on eating those out in the wild, man.
42
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[stammers] I'm a black bear?
43
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I'm smelling that
from a thousand miles out.
44
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You're a black bear?
45
00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:53,112
The wilderness takes no prisoners, Rick.
46
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That's the first thing we learned at ROTC.
R-O-T-C.
47
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Didn't you get kicked out?
48
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I guess that's why I only remember
the first thing they taught us.
49
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And I didn't get kicked out.
I was honorably discharged.
50
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I'm not a fucking pussy.
51
00:02:04,582 --> 00:02:08,586
Nick and I had sex last night
for, like, the first time in forever.
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In, like, months.
53
00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:11,422
- In months?
- Mm-hmm.
54
00:02:11,422 --> 00:02:12,590
- What?
- It's fine. It's fine.
55
00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:14,384
Sometimes he jerks off and I watch.
56
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Is that it?
Is that what being straight is like?
57
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I'm making a point.
58
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So we found, like, a latex-free brand
of condoms that he--
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- Condoms?
- You know I'm allergic to latex, right?
60
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I feel like you're losing
that... that thread.
61
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How long have I known you?
I know you're allergic to latex.
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Sorry to interrupt. Hi, I'm Sharon,
one of the parent chaperones.
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- Hey.
- Were you guys talking about condoms?
64
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Did the kids bring condoms?
65
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Did the kids bring condoms? I don't know.
We don't know what the kids brought.
66
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Okay. Well. [chuckles]
67
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- What?
- [chuckles]
68
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Right. [chuckles]
69
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- Sorry, I'll keep it down.
- Uh.
70
00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:47,834
Yeah.
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This whole trip,
these kids are gonna be trying
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to get into all sorts
of wicked little sexual games.
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Very specific games.
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- Okay. Well, we'll keep an eye out.
- Yeah.
75
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- You know about Stone Face?
- What?
76
00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:04,767
It's a new sex game
these kids are playing.
77
00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:06,060
You know how they play?
78
00:03:06,060 --> 00:03:08,229
Do we know how they play?
No, we've never heard of this.
79
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You know, I don't even want to say.
[chuckles] That's how deviant it is.
80
00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:12,317
Ah.
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00:03:14,110 --> 00:03:16,946
A bunch of boys sit around a table
and one girl, God help her,
82
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gets under that table
and gives one of them... [smacks lips]
83
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- Blow job?
- [shushes]
84
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And then the young man
on the receiving end,
85
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he has to keep a straight face like this.
86
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A stone face.
87
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And then they guess who the lucky boy was.
88
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I don't understand. Who guesses?
89
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Everyone.
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- [Rick] Why you keep looking back there?
- What?
91
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- Something's going on with you.
- No, man. I...
92
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I think I got a shot with Gwen.
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[scoffs] Wow, dude.
I'm pretty sure you don't.
94
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She's like a bombshell.
95
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- So?
- What are you, crazy?
96
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You saw the guy she's dating. Nick?
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- He's a frigging Adonis.
- [scoffs]
98
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No. An Adonis?
99
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He's 140 pounds soaking wet.
Can't shovel dirt to save his life.
100
00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:03,534
I think guys that are thin
are often considered attractive.
101
00:04:03,534 --> 00:04:05,286
Gwen needs a real man, all right?
102
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A man that can protect her,
who could provide for her.
103
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Who could... Who could chop wood in nature.
104
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I think women care more, like, if a guy's
got a cute face and good personality.
105
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So you might be fucked.
106
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Wrong.
107
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,968
And if you don't know what
a "power cuck" is already,
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I can guarantee you, you'll see it
in action before the weekend is out.
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I highly doubt that.
110
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:26,766
Yeah. Again, I don't think
you have to worry about these kids.
111
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You know, you could just have fun
this weekend.
112
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Fun? Uh...
113
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Like, you need a B average
to get on this trip.
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Oh, okay.
115
00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:36,067
And I'll just say that Liam Drake
invented tip-licking
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and he's at Georgetown.
117
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- So, there's that.
- Tip-licking?
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No one wants just the tip licked.
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- That can't be real.
- It's a game. Okay? It's a game.
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[Evan] Okay. Well, you know what?
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We're gonna keep a good eye out
for any tables or boys...
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- Yeah, tables and chairs.
- ...sitting down situations.
123
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Thank you. And please,
if we can just keep a close eye on my son.
124
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The girls are just trying
to eat him alive.
125
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Puberty has hit him like a truck,
126
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and he is just a little boy
in the body of a man.
127
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- Which one's your son? Sorry, I forget.
- [chuckles] The cutest one here.
128
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Josh? Or not Josh?
129
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,642
- Gwen.
- James.
130
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Pearson.
131
00:05:11,352 --> 00:05:14,313
- Oh, James Pearson.
- Oh, yeah. No, he is in the...
132
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,357
- I see why you're worried.
- Yeah.
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[Gwen] This is off axis here.
134
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I never knew this system
where you put the stuff in the tent
135
00:05:20,528 --> 00:05:22,447
- and then you build the tent around it.
- [chuckles]
136
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:24,240
Oh, Gwen. Did you find my Spurs hat?
137
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- I can't find it still. It's MIA.
- I... [groans] I didn't. I'm sorry.
138
00:05:27,535 --> 00:05:28,619
I looked everywhere.
139
00:05:28,619 --> 00:05:30,038
- Wait. What?
- [Gwen] I'm so sorry.
140
00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:31,956
Wait. Why would you have his hat?
141
00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:34,333
- The pool project.
- Yeah.
142
00:05:34,333 --> 00:05:37,336
Markie helped Nick
with, like, digging last night.
143
00:05:37,336 --> 00:05:38,963
- W-What?
- [Markie] Yeah.
144
00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:41,716
Nick needed someone with big muscles
to come over and do all the man work.
145
00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:43,593
You know, I... She asked. I obliged.
146
00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:45,553
Do you have big muscles?
147
00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:48,014
- [scoffs] The biggest.
- [Gwen] Rick was there too.
148
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,766
- Yeah.
- It wasn't, like, just Markie or anything.
149
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:51,809
Oh, my God.
That'd be so weird if it was just Markie.
150
00:05:51,809 --> 00:05:54,020
- Would it?
- Wait. Rick was there too?
151
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,521
Why is this such a big deal?
152
00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:59,025
I mean, uh, you...
Like, don't make me say it.
153
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,485
What are you trying to say?
154
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Like, everyone was hanging out without me.
155
00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:08,242
Oh, no, no. No. Oh, my God.
We weren't hanging out.
156
00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:10,912
You're totally misunderstanding this.
It was like... It was like help.
157
00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:14,165
Nick needed help digging the pool
and it wasn't, like, fun.
158
00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:15,083
I thought it was fun.
159
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:18,544
But this is not the kind of thing
that Evan would have found fun.
160
00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:19,921
- He would have hated it.
- It's fine.
161
00:06:19,921 --> 00:06:21,964
- I'm... It's fine. I'm fine now.
- Are you?
162
00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:24,717
- This does not matter to me. It's fine.
- It does not matter. I promise you.
163
00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:26,677
Yo. Can one of you guys
take a look at my tent?
164
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- I got you, bud.
- No, I'll help you.
165
00:06:28,846 --> 00:06:30,890
- Thanks.
- What was that?
166
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:32,558
- It's fine.
- Yeah.
167
00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:34,685
- This looks good.
- Damn right it does.
168
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,524
[Evan] This is too long.
169
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:41,984
- I'm trying to arch it up. It's too long.
- It's pissing me off.
170
00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:43,736
But it is starting to look like a tent.
171
00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:46,447
So, whatever you're doing,
just, like, keep doing that.
172
00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:48,324
- Where are you going?
- I'm gonna smoke.
173
00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:50,493
You're smoking fucking weed?
174
00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:51,577
Dude. I have to.
175
00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:54,831
These kids are, like, ten seconds away
from making me cry.
176
00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:57,333
Yo, actually, can you light
this lighter for me?
177
00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:58,584
My thumb's all fucked-up.
178
00:07:00,002 --> 00:07:01,003
Please?
179
00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:05,007
You shouldn't be smoking weed
on a camping trip with children.
180
00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:07,135
- Who cares?
- How'd you mess your thumb up?
181
00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:09,220
Oh, my God. It's so fucking stupid.
182
00:07:11,013 --> 00:07:13,683
When we were all hanging out
at Gwen's house last night,
183
00:07:14,475 --> 00:07:18,938
I was trying to plug my Nintendo Switch
into their HDMI cord, behind the TV.
184
00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:21,774
And did this weird move when I was,
like, trying to plug it in. [chuckles]
185
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:25,403
You guys played Nintendo Switch
at Gwen's house last night?
186
00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:27,613
Dude, we played, like,
eight rounds of Mario Kart.
187
00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:29,490
This was after you guys
did the pool stuff?
188
00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:31,659
Yeah. We were up till,
like, 2:00 a.m. [laughs]
189
00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:34,120
I was so tired this morning,
I almost didn't even come.
190
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:40,418
♪ Frienemies who when you're down
Ain't your friend ♪
191
00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:44,755
- ♪ Every night we smash a Mercedes-Benz ♪
- ♪ Every night ♪ [clears throat]
192
00:07:44,755 --> 00:07:46,757
- ♪ First we run ♪
- ♪ First we run ♪
193
00:07:46,757 --> 00:07:48,009
♪ But then we laugh till we cry ♪
194
00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:51,888
Good harmony on that one. Good.
Okay. And then we do this together.
195
00:07:52,471 --> 00:07:54,015
- ♪ But when... ♪
- ♪ But when the night-- ♪
196
00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:55,683
I think that's... Are you flat there?
197
00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:57,018
♪ When ♪
198
00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:58,644
It's not Broadway.
You don't have to be like,
199
00:07:58,644 --> 00:07:59,770
♪ But when... ♪
200
00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:01,856
You can just be like...
It's like talk singing.
201
00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:03,065
♪ When ♪
202
00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:04,483
It's like you're in Dear Evan Hansen.
203
00:08:04,483 --> 00:08:06,611
- It's not like you're in Hello, Dolly.
- Oh, okay.
204
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:07,695
♪ But when the night ♪
205
00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:09,322
It's sounding completely flat
to me every time.
206
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,199
- That one was good. I feel.
- Let's go to the chorus.
207
00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:12,408
- Okay.
- Let's go to the chorus.
208
00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:13,701
♪ You got the music in you-- ♪
209
00:08:13,701 --> 00:08:14,785
Just wait for me to hit the...
210
00:08:14,785 --> 00:08:16,037
♪ You've got the music in you-- ♪
211
00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:18,331
- You're jumping it, you're jumping it.
- Sorry. Two, three.
212
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:19,248
♪ You've got the-- ♪
213
00:08:19,248 --> 00:08:22,585
- No. You didn't even let me hit the chord.
- Something is going on.
214
00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:24,003
- With us?
- Yeah.
215
00:08:25,087 --> 00:08:26,214
Nothing's going on.
216
00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:27,298
- I'm fine.
- Okay.
217
00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:28,883
I'm just... I want the song to be good.
218
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:29,884
Gotcha!
219
00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:31,844
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God. What can we do for you?
220
00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:33,471
Just making sure no one
is playing Stone Face.
221
00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:36,182
Okay. We are both teachers in our 30s.
222
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:38,768
There are two of us. I am gay.
223
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:40,436
She has a boyfriend.
224
00:08:40,436 --> 00:08:42,730
So for that reason,
and a hundred other reasons,
225
00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:44,774
- we're not playing Stone Face, Sharon.
- [Sharon] Mmm.
226
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:46,442
We couldn't fit a table in here
if we tried.
227
00:08:46,442 --> 00:08:47,860
Someone is playing it somewhere.
228
00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:49,445
- I know that.
- Okay.
229
00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:50,863
No, but thank you. That... This is...
230
00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:52,198
And that song you were playing.
231
00:08:53,115 --> 00:08:55,993
God, you were a little pitchy,
but it really brought me back.
232
00:08:55,993 --> 00:08:57,495
It was before I was married.
233
00:08:57,495 --> 00:09:00,873
You can imagine the trouble I got into.
234
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:02,291
- I bet, yeah.
- Right.
235
00:09:02,291 --> 00:09:04,210
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Keep an eye out for me, please.
236
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:07,171
Okay. We'll keep an eye out
for any... anything like that.
237
00:09:07,171 --> 00:09:08,589
[students laughing]
238
00:09:08,589 --> 00:09:09,548
She looking?
239
00:09:09,548 --> 00:09:11,008
- Gwen?
- Mm-hmm.
240
00:09:11,008 --> 00:09:13,552
- [Rick] Nah. She's busy, dawg.
- [Markie] Get her to look, man.
241
00:09:13,552 --> 00:09:16,264
My package is looking loco
in this harness. Look at it.
242
00:09:16,764 --> 00:09:19,183
It looks like you went to a dumpster
and stuffed it with trash, dawg.
243
00:09:19,183 --> 00:09:21,519
She's looking kinda.
Get her to look fully.
244
00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:23,020
- Gwen!
- [groans]
245
00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:24,522
She's still not even looking.
246
00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:28,734
My neck is actually, like,
tweaked out by those tents.
247
00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:30,278
Did you sleep okay?
248
00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:35,616
Are you mad at me? You are mad at me.
249
00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:36,701
- I'm not mad at you.
- [chuckles]
250
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:39,745
I'm mad at my own feelings
in a stupid situation.
251
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:41,706
Come on. This is our favorite trip.
252
00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:43,291
I miss my buddy.
253
00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:45,793
Talk to me.
254
00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:49,839
I mean. What... What... [stammers]
Why would you all hang out without me?
255
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:50,923
Do you guys hate me?
256
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:53,259
[chuckles]
No. We definitely don't hate you.
257
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:55,386
It's like everybody acts
like they're my best friend
258
00:09:55,386 --> 00:09:58,931
until I just find out
you all kind of think I'm, like, a weirdo,
259
00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:01,684
and that I can't come to your normie hang
and play video games or something.
260
00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:03,894
I can play video games.
I grew up playing video games.
261
00:10:03,894 --> 00:10:05,646
We know you can play video games.
262
00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:07,398
So then why wasn't I fucking invited?
263
00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:09,942
It's 'cause you just don't like
helping people, Evan.
264
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,155
I'm just... I mean,
the whole point was, like,
265
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:16,532
to get together
and help my boyfriend build a pool.
266
00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:18,284
I'm just saying,
it's, like, physical labor.
267
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:21,787
And I asked the people who, you know...
The whole point was to be helpful.
268
00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:24,206
And you just don't do that, you know?
269
00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:25,583
You don't bring anything to the party
270
00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:28,085
'cause you think you're such a delight
that you don't have to. Thank you.
271
00:10:28,085 --> 00:10:29,837
This is feeling very intense.
272
00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:31,339
Yeah, it kind of is.
273
00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:35,843
Helmet. [exhales]
274
00:10:38,929 --> 00:10:40,723
[Becca] My dad says
that you're really jealous of me.
275
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:42,641
Really?
Then when did you start wearing blue?
276
00:10:42,641 --> 00:10:44,226
Like, as soon as I started wearing blue.
277
00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:45,895
You literally don't even like blue.
278
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:48,272
Okay. But I'm wearing a different...
I'm wearing baby blue.
279
00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:51,442
You... You, like, hang out without me
and then you take that opportunity
280
00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:54,987
to then tell me that you don't like
major aspects of my personality?
281
00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:56,655
- Oh, my God.
- Am I right?
282
00:10:56,655 --> 00:10:58,157
Literally the worst decision
I've ever made
283
00:10:58,157 --> 00:10:59,742
was coming on this field trip with you.
284
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:03,245
Do you think I'm a bad friend?
After all the stuff I do for you.
285
00:11:03,245 --> 00:11:06,499
Like, listening to you talk for hours
about your boyfriend
286
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:07,833
who's losing his mind
287
00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:09,794
- and building a pool by hand.
- [scoffs]
288
00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:12,004
Or I don't know,
like, when I got you this job.
289
00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:14,507
Oh, you got... Oh, you got me this job?
You didn't get me an interview?
290
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:17,093
- I'm pretty sure that's what happened.
- That's how you get somebody a job.
291
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:18,969
I can't believe
I'm friends with you, like, honestly.
292
00:11:18,969 --> 00:11:20,262
You're lucky you're friends with me.
293
00:11:20,262 --> 00:11:22,348
And the fact that you think
you got me the job,
294
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:25,101
that tells me everything that I need
to know about what you think of me.
295
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:26,394
What do you think I think about you?
296
00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:29,313
That you think I'm a stupid girl that's
just kind of waiting and hoping at home.
297
00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:31,732
Just waiting for you to call me.
Like, you're just my only friend. No.
298
00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:33,401
- [Becca] Can I have that back?
- [Tiffany] No.
299
00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:35,236
- Take off your jacket.
- I'm not giving this to you.
300
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:38,197
If anyone's listening
to anybody fucking bitch all the time,
301
00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:40,282
- it's me listening to you.
- Oh, my God.
302
00:11:40,282 --> 00:11:42,535
Let me just take this opportunity
to say I'm not your therapist.
303
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,912
I should be paid for the amount of shit
I have to talk you through.
304
00:11:44,912 --> 00:11:47,415
"Is Malcolm my boyfriend? I don't know
if I should make him my boyfriend.
305
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:49,708
Oh, my God. No, don't text him anymore.
He's not my friend.
306
00:11:49,708 --> 00:11:51,752
Oh, my God. I fucked him last night."
I cannot keep track.
307
00:11:51,752 --> 00:11:53,796
Mr. Marquez, you have to send Becca home.
308
00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:55,714
- Just cut her out of your life.
- How's that my fault?
309
00:11:55,714 --> 00:11:56,966
- Okay, I'm right here.
- Whoa.
310
00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,717
I didn't say I wanted
to cut her out of my life.
311
00:11:58,717 --> 00:12:02,096
Yeah, but you guys wouldn't be arguing
all the time if you actually were friends.
312
00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:03,180
You know what, Tiffany?
313
00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:05,850
Mr. Marquez thinks that conflict
is the end of a relationship,
314
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:08,310
which is why he's unable
to engage in healthy conflict,
315
00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:10,354
which is ironically a quality
that can end a relationship.
316
00:12:10,354 --> 00:12:12,064
Maybe we're just realizing
we're not a match.
317
00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:13,357
Oh, my God.
318
00:12:13,357 --> 00:12:14,900
Why is that vein bulging out of your neck?
319
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:16,277
I don't know, Tiffany.
320
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:18,487
Just ask Gwen.
She knows everything that's wrong with me.
321
00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:20,239
Actually, you are fucking insane.
322
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,159
Get me the fuck through this tunnel! God!
323
00:12:24,368 --> 00:12:27,455
Hey. Hey! [grunting]
324
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:29,415
- Up. Up, up.
- What?
325
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:31,667
- Why?
- You know damn well why, perverts.
326
00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:34,962
- Thank you. Thank you.
- What was that about?
327
00:12:34,962 --> 00:12:36,505
Just disgusting.
328
00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:39,091
I don't think they were doing
what you think they were doing.
329
00:12:39,758 --> 00:12:40,759
Hmm?
330
00:12:43,637 --> 00:12:47,391
You don't know the half
of what I think they were doing.
331
00:12:48,767 --> 00:12:51,228
Yeah, I just made
this pretty cool decision,
332
00:12:51,228 --> 00:12:53,397
which is,
I'm not gonna talk to you anymore.
333
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:55,024
Bye.
334
00:12:56,358 --> 00:13:00,321
And the ghost turned out
to be her brother,
335
00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:02,907
who was... who was dead.
336
00:13:03,407 --> 00:13:05,075
- Why?
- [yawns]
337
00:13:05,075 --> 00:13:06,327
Why was he haunting her?
338
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:09,622
Because... Because...
339
00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:12,625
- she didn't vote.
- [Gwen] Mmm.
340
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:15,628
- Oh. Oh, my God. [chuckles]
- That's pretty scary stuff, right?
341
00:13:16,253 --> 00:13:18,547
- [Sharon] That was so good.
- [Grant] So, let's vote.
342
00:13:18,547 --> 00:13:19,632
[Rick] Yeah.
343
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,509
Why are you wearing
those night vision goggles?
344
00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:23,219
'Cause it's nighttime. And they're badass.
345
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:25,054
All right.
Now, we have a little tradition.
346
00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:28,557
You're in for a little treat.
Come on up, Mr. Marquez and Ms. Sanders.
347
00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:29,725
Give it up.
348
00:13:29,725 --> 00:13:31,435
[Evan] Hello.
349
00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:33,020
[sighs]
350
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:35,940
One, two, three, four.
351
00:13:40,444 --> 00:13:44,031
♪ Frienemies who when you're down
Ain't your friend ♪
352
00:13:44,615 --> 00:13:48,744
♪ Every night we smash a Mercedes-Benz ♪
353
00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:53,832
♪ First we run
But then we laugh till we cry ♪
354
00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:56,627
Here you go.
355
00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:59,129
♪ But when the night is falling ♪
356
00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:01,048
Come on, Gwen. Just...
357
00:14:01,048 --> 00:14:03,509
♪ When your dreams are dying ♪
358
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:04,426
It's your part.
359
00:14:04,426 --> 00:14:07,054
♪ Hold tight
You only... ♪
360
00:14:07,054 --> 00:14:09,098
Just sing the song, Gwen.
361
00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:10,599
No, no, no. I think you've got this.
362
00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:12,351
So, I guess
you're not the helpful one now.
363
00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:14,562
- You can't help me sing this song?
- It's better solo, right?
364
00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:16,397
He doesn't need me.
I don't think you need me.
365
00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:17,898
I don't think we're a match.
366
00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:20,067
Keep going. Keep going. Show must go on.
367
00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:21,735
Okay. It is not a duet.
368
00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:25,406
♪ You've got the music in you ♪
369
00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:29,285
♪ Don't let go
You've got the music in you ♪
370
00:14:29,868 --> 00:14:32,621
♪ One dance left
This world is gonna pull through ♪
371
00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:33,914
- [laughing]
- [groaning]
372
00:14:33,914 --> 00:14:37,710
♪ Don't give up
You've got a reason to live ♪
373
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,962
- Hey, put him down! Put him down!
- I got it.
374
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:41,422
[Evan] ♪ We only get what we give ♪
375
00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:43,465
- Go on.
- [Gwen] Guys, guys, stop. Please.
376
00:14:43,465 --> 00:14:46,010
Put him down. [speaks indistinctly]
377
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:50,014
♪ Health insurance, rip off lying
FDA, big bankers buying ♪
378
00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:54,560
♪ Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying ♪
379
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,521
♪ Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
Courtney Love and Marilyn Manson ♪
380
00:14:57,521 --> 00:15:00,316
- I think she's insane.
- This is great.
381
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:03,152
♪ Come around
We'll kick your asses ♪
382
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:05,321
That's it. Okay.
That's great. That's great.
383
00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:13,078
[Rick] Fuck. I burnt another one.
384
00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:15,247
Yeah, Gwen and I are fine, I think.
385
00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:19,293
Or, if we're not fine, it's her fault.
I don't know.
386
00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:20,961
Mm-hmm. Let it out, buddy.
387
00:15:21,795 --> 00:15:23,005
I'm a great listener, you know.
388
00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:24,923
Yeah, look, I got your back, man.
389
00:15:25,507 --> 00:15:29,595
And if it comes to us picking sides,
it's nothing personal, I just... [chuckles]
390
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,555
I really prefer her company to yours.
391
00:15:31,555 --> 00:15:33,390
- You prefer Gwen's company?
- Yeah.
392
00:15:34,266 --> 00:15:35,392
Thank you.
393
00:15:35,392 --> 00:15:36,852
[Sharon groans]
394
00:15:36,852 --> 00:15:38,103
- [Grant] Stop.
- [chuckles]
395
00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:39,730
- Help.
- Is that your safe word?
396
00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:41,732
- Help.
- I think Grant needs help.
397
00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:43,567
- Hey, Sharon.
- Uh-huh.
398
00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:48,739
I think I saw some boys sitting by
a makeshift picnic table by the restroom.
399
00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:50,449
- Are you serious?
- Yeah. And I think...
400
00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:53,035
Now that I think about it, there might
have been a girl over there as well.
401
00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:54,495
[gasps]
402
00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:55,913
I'll be right back.
403
00:15:56,413 --> 00:15:57,456
That was good.
404
00:15:57,456 --> 00:15:59,041
[sighs] Thank you.
405
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:00,834
- You okay?
- Yeah. Yeah.
406
00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:03,420
Every time suburban moms
come to the wilderness... I don't...
407
00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:05,589
- Something happens.
- Yeah.
408
00:16:05,589 --> 00:16:08,967
They make cheaper night vision goggles,
but they're not the real McCoy, you know?
409
00:16:08,967 --> 00:16:11,303
I mean... And check this out, fire 'em up.
410
00:16:12,846 --> 00:16:13,847
I mean, come on.
411
00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:15,182
Yeah, they're so cool.
412
00:16:15,182 --> 00:16:17,393
Seriously, every time I watch
Zero Dark Thirty,
413
00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:19,228
I just pop these bad boys on.
414
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:20,312
It's like I'm right there.
415
00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:23,440
You watched Zero Dark Thirty
more than once?
416
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:26,985
You know, Bin Laden had five wives.
That's messed up, right?
417
00:16:26,985 --> 00:16:28,821
You only need one person in life,
you know?
418
00:16:29,780 --> 00:16:31,240
What are you talking about?
419
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:35,661
Sorry, I just, like... [sighs] I just...
I just need to be alone right now. Just...
420
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:38,247
I mean, is that what any of us
really want in this world?
421
00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:41,834
- What?
- Give 'em a test drive. That's all.
422
00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:44,503
Just try 'em, you know.
Just... They'll really freak your bean.
423
00:16:45,212 --> 00:16:46,755
- Oh, my God. My bean?
- You know?
424
00:16:46,755 --> 00:16:49,174
No, right there, right there.
Yeah, yeah. Right there.
425
00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:51,009
- Ooh.
- Yeah, right?
426
00:16:51,009 --> 00:16:52,970
- Oh, they're so cool.
- Yeah.
427
00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:54,680
Oh, I wanna take these.
I'll talk to you soon.
428
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,807
All right. Watch it though.
429
00:16:56,807 --> 00:17:00,436
You might see things you didn't know
were there and that changes everything.
430
00:17:00,936 --> 00:17:02,020
[Gwen] What?
431
00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:05,566
The crazy thing is, I didn't even
start smoking weed till I was 32...
432
00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:08,360
to help deal with my imposter syndrome.
433
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:10,446
Thirty-two? How old are you now?
434
00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:13,615
- [chuckles] I know, right? Exactly.
- [crowd murmuring]
435
00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:15,325
[Grant] You're okay. Just breathe.
You'll be fine.
436
00:17:15,325 --> 00:17:17,244
- You'll be fine.
- [Markie] Is anyone here a doctor?
437
00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:19,163
- Gwen?
- [Markie] Parent doctor. Parent doctor.
438
00:17:19,663 --> 00:17:21,582
Just breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
439
00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:23,917
- Was it something I said?
- Gwen, if this is drugs, we need to know.
440
00:17:23,917 --> 00:17:25,002
No shame. No judgment.
441
00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:26,628
- We just need to know.
- It's not drugs, stupid.
442
00:17:26,628 --> 00:17:29,339
- It's not drugs. It's not drugs.
- [Evan] Can you call 911? Sorry.
443
00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:30,466
Evan, do something.
444
00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:33,802
- Hey, where's your bag?
- [breathing heavily]
445
00:17:33,802 --> 00:17:36,096
- Excuse me.
- Stay with me, please.
446
00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:37,181
Please stay with me on this.
447
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:41,852
[crowd gasping]
448
00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:46,690
[breathes sharply]
449
00:17:47,274 --> 00:17:48,567
Good. Breathe.
450
00:17:49,693 --> 00:17:50,986
What happened?
451
00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:52,988
- Latex.
- [exhales sharply]
452
00:17:52,988 --> 00:17:55,365
The goggles. She's allergic to latex.
453
00:17:55,949 --> 00:17:57,117
I didn't know.
454
00:17:58,285 --> 00:17:59,369
I'm so sorry.
455
00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:01,288
I was so fucking stupid.
456
00:18:01,288 --> 00:18:03,582
- You're my favorite person in the world.
- [Gwen laughing]
457
00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:06,376
[Gwen] I'm everybody's favorite person.
Oh, my God.
458
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:08,128
You okay, baby?
459
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:12,883
She dead?
460
00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:18,180
Guess how many bites
I could throw this down in?
461
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:19,097
- [student 1] Two!
- Two?
462
00:18:19,097 --> 00:18:20,182
- [Tiffany] No one cares.
- Three?
463
00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:21,934
- [student 2] Four?
- Wrong.
464
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:23,894
- [Sharon] Oh, gross!
- Look at him. Look at him.
465
00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:26,313
Every time, it's disgusting how he eats.
466
00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:29,691
You should've seen him with the pizza
at my house the other night.
467
00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:30,776
Pizza?
468
00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:34,238
- [gasps] I know.
- Oh, my God.
469
00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:38,867
I keep discovering levels
to this incredible hang you all had.
470
00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:40,702
It's fine. I'm fine. I'm kidding.
471
00:18:40,702 --> 00:18:42,746
You know actually, we...
Everyone is coming over Sunday
472
00:18:42,746 --> 00:18:44,164
if you wanna help mix concrete.
473
00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:46,583
We can order pizza.
474
00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:50,087
I cannot even believe
you don't wanna come.
475
00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:51,713
- I don't wanna come.
- I knew it!
476
00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:53,549
- I knew it!
- I wanna be invited.
477
00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:55,092
So, that... Look, we did it.
478
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:57,427
- That's all you had to do was invite me.
- You're always invited.
479
00:18:57,427 --> 00:18:59,096
Thank you. Thank you for the invite.
480
00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:02,057
Maybe I'll come by
when the manual labor is over.
481
00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:05,519
- Becca, go sit next to Tiffany.
- Yeah.
482
00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:07,980
- No, she's toxic.
- Everyone is toxic.
483
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:10,858
- She's your best friend. Go sit with her.
- Just go sit with... Go--
484
00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:12,693
She told me it was offensive
to learn Mandarin.
485
00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:13,944
'Cause you're not Japanese.
486
00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:15,195
That's the wrong country, bitch.
487
00:19:15,195 --> 00:19:16,280
You're best friends.
488
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,657
- It's not about you. It's about us.
- Best friends sit together.
489
00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:20,951
What's life if you don't have
your best friends?
490
00:19:20,951 --> 00:19:23,036
Go. You will miss each other
when you graduate.
491
00:19:23,036 --> 00:19:24,371
- I promise you.
- That's good.
492
00:19:24,371 --> 00:19:25,956
- You will.
- All is right in the world.
493
00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:29,501
Classic damsel in distress moment
and I biffed it.
494
00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:31,545
Dude, she practically died.
495
00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:35,132
I don't think she was gonna, like,
bounce back to life and hook up with you.
496
00:19:36,758 --> 00:19:38,218
- I should've been a doctor.
- I agree.
497
00:19:38,218 --> 00:19:40,762
You should've been
a completely different person,
498
00:19:40,762 --> 00:19:43,265
and then I think that
this would have worked out.
499
00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:44,558
[Evan] Yeah, this is you.
500
00:19:44,558 --> 00:19:47,060
- Yo, what up, teach?
- Oh, my God.
501
00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:48,353
Sharon, where'd you come from?
502
00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:49,771
What are you guys up to next week?
503
00:19:49,771 --> 00:19:51,356
- We're just teaching, you know.
- Yeah.
504
00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:53,025
- It's work.
- Yeah? Me?
505
00:19:54,234 --> 00:19:56,987
Gotta investigate this new thing
I've been hearing about.
506
00:19:57,571 --> 00:19:59,448
- Okay.
- Good luck. I'm sure it'll be interesting.
507
00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:02,367
Have you heard of
a "No Loads Refused Cum Dump?"
508
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:09,041
- You know, I've got a fish.
- Okay. It was so nice to meet you.
509
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:10,167
But we didn't exchange numbers.
510
00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:12,669
- You gotta go home, Sharon.
- You have to go home.
511
00:20:12,669 --> 00:20:17,132
♪ I'm so caught up in you, little girl ♪
512
00:20:17,132 --> 00:20:20,010
♪ And I never did suspect a thing ♪
513
00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:24,306
♪ So caught up in you, little girl ♪
514
00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:27,267
♪ That I never want to get myself free ♪
515
00:20:27,267 --> 00:20:29,770
♪ And baby it's true ♪
516
00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:31,563
♪ You're the one ♪
517
00:20:31,563 --> 00:20:34,733
♪ Who caught me
Baby, you taught me ♪
518
00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:38,403
♪ How good it could be, little girl ♪
519
00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:41,615
♪ You're the one that's got me
Down on my knees ♪
520
00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:45,327
♪ So caught up in you, little girl ♪
521
00:20:46,036 --> 00:20:48,789
♪ That I never want to get myself free ♪
522
00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:51,166
♪ And, baby, it's true ♪
523
00:20:51,166 --> 00:20:55,253
♪ You're the one
Who caught me and taught me ♪
524
00:20:55,253 --> 00:20:58,048
♪ Got me so caught up in you ♪