1
00:00:05,845 --> 00:00:07,814
- [school bell rings]
- [Evan] Okay,
I'll see you guys Thursday.
2
00:00:07,815 --> 00:00:09,418
Good work.
3
00:00:09,419 --> 00:00:12,324
Make sure
to get those papers in.
4
00:00:13,795 --> 00:00:15,462
Mr. Marquez.
5
00:00:15,463 --> 00:00:18,269
Can I talk to you for a second?
6
00:00:18,270 --> 00:00:20,508
Uh, yeah.
What's up, Eddie?
7
00:00:21,376 --> 00:00:23,011
I've been having
some thoughts...
8
00:00:23,012 --> 00:00:24,682
Oh, my God.
Suicidal.
9
00:00:24,683 --> 00:00:27,755
- You want me to call somebody?
- No, no, it-it's about my...
10
00:00:27,756 --> 00:00:28,957
orientation,
11
00:00:28,958 --> 00:00:30,761
I guess you would call it.
And...
12
00:00:31,798 --> 00:00:33,199
I-I think I'm...
13
00:00:34,369 --> 00:00:36,138
I-I think I'm gay.
14
00:00:36,139 --> 00:00:37,641
And I know that you're gay,
15
00:00:37,642 --> 00:00:40,246
and I thought that maybe
you could help me or, like,
16
00:00:40,247 --> 00:00:42,618
talk me through how to tell
the people in my life.
17
00:00:42,619 --> 00:00:43,620
'Cause...
18
00:00:43,621 --> 00:00:47,060
this is all just
so new and scary, and...
19
00:00:47,061 --> 00:00:50,200
could really use some support.
20
00:00:51,002 --> 00:00:52,370
What?
21
00:00:52,371 --> 00:00:54,007
You're scared to come out?
22
00:00:54,008 --> 00:00:55,376
It's 2024.
23
00:00:55,377 --> 00:00:58,383
Just go in the hall
and say, "I'm gay."
24
00:00:59,052 --> 00:01:00,386
I-I'm sorry.
I don't mean to be mean.
25
00:01:00,387 --> 00:01:01,790
Like, I can't help you
with this. This is--
26
00:01:01,791 --> 00:01:03,693
I grew up in the '90s.
That was different.
27
00:01:03,694 --> 00:01:06,264
Just-just go and get advice
from kids your age.
28
00:01:06,265 --> 00:01:07,568
I mean, if you want
somebody to talk to,
29
00:01:07,569 --> 00:01:09,639
go talk to one
of the many out gay kids
30
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:11,108
at this school, you know?
31
00:01:11,109 --> 00:01:12,911
- Yeah. O-Okay.
- But be careful.
32
00:01:12,912 --> 00:01:15,082
Don't talk to one
of those nonspecific queer kids
33
00:01:15,083 --> 00:01:17,287
who may or may not be doing it
for clout.
34
00:01:17,288 --> 00:01:18,723
Those people
are mostly straight.
35
00:01:18,724 --> 00:01:20,627
- Don't tell anybody I said that.
- Yeah.
36
00:01:20,628 --> 00:01:22,664
You're gonna want to find,
like, a real gay person.
37
00:01:22,665 --> 00:01:24,969
Like, classic gay vibes.
38
00:01:24,970 --> 00:01:26,706
You know. Queeny.
39
00:01:26,707 --> 00:01:28,408
You know.
Should be easy to identify.
40
00:01:28,409 --> 00:01:29,679
Don't tell anybody I said that.
41
00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:30,914
Somebody your age.
42
00:01:30,915 --> 00:01:32,718
They'll help you more than me.
I think. [laughs]
43
00:01:32,719 --> 00:01:34,755
But great-great--
44
00:01:34,756 --> 00:01:35,924
Thanks.
45
00:01:35,925 --> 00:01:37,326
Very good.
Okay.
46
00:01:37,327 --> 00:01:39,232
I'll see you later.
Bye.
47
00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:41,836
I don't know. I just feel
like you don't listen to me
48
00:01:41,837 --> 00:01:43,138
when I tell you what I want.
49
00:01:43,139 --> 00:01:44,975
I don't want a birthday event,
Malcolm.
50
00:01:44,976 --> 00:01:47,213
Oh, my God, you fucking nerd.
It's not an event.
51
00:01:47,214 --> 00:01:49,117
It's you and me going to a bar.
52
00:01:49,118 --> 00:01:51,321
It's a leather daddy bar.
53
00:01:51,322 --> 00:01:52,958
People need to have fun.
In this life. I'm sorry.
54
00:01:52,959 --> 00:01:55,463
You and me are going
to fucking Tom of Austin
55
00:01:55,464 --> 00:01:57,968
for your 35th
motherfucking birthday,
56
00:01:57,969 --> 00:02:00,106
because you are a gay man
in your prime
57
00:02:00,107 --> 00:02:01,408
and someone needs to suck
58
00:02:01,409 --> 00:02:02,845
- your dick!
- Shh!
59
00:02:02,846 --> 00:02:04,381
[quietly]
I'm at school.
60
00:02:04,382 --> 00:02:05,851
Nobody needs to suck my dick.
61
00:02:05,852 --> 00:02:07,320
I need to suck your dick.
62
00:02:07,321 --> 00:02:09,257
I'm kidding.
No, we're friends, remember?
63
00:02:09,258 --> 00:02:11,996
I have an outfit picked out
for you. It's cunt as hell.
64
00:02:11,997 --> 00:02:14,635
No. I'm not wearing
whatever you have planned.
65
00:02:14,636 --> 00:02:16,438
- I'm not wearing it.
- Yes. Yes.
66
00:02:16,439 --> 00:02:19,044
It's cute. It's comfy.
You're gonna love it. Bye.
67
00:02:19,045 --> 00:02:22,584
♪♪ Every time I see you falling ♪
68
00:02:22,585 --> 00:02:26,726
♪♪ I get down on my knees
and pray ♪
69
00:02:26,727 --> 00:02:29,699
♪♪ I'm waiting
for that final moment... ♪
70
00:02:29,700 --> 00:02:33,507
I think my balls are
hanging out of these shorts.
71
00:02:33,508 --> 00:02:35,309
Yeah, they're shorts, babe.
72
00:02:35,310 --> 00:02:37,514
Well, I haven't dressed
like this since I was 24.
73
00:02:37,515 --> 00:02:38,950
Some people
still think you're 24.
74
00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:40,820
- Nobody thinks I'm 24, Malcolm.
- I mean, they do
75
00:02:40,821 --> 00:02:42,257
when you're with me.
They're like,
76
00:02:42,258 --> 00:02:43,560
"Look at those two
twentysomethings.
77
00:02:43,561 --> 00:02:44,862
"They have their life
ahead of them.
78
00:02:44,863 --> 00:02:46,365
"Are they going
to an Ice Spice concert?
79
00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:48,035
- I like them."
- [chuckles]
80
00:02:48,036 --> 00:02:50,005
Let's just get inside the bar.
If some parent sees me out here,
81
00:02:50,006 --> 00:02:51,743
- they're probably gonna try
to hate-crime me.
- Oh, my God.
82
00:02:51,744 --> 00:02:53,747
Not everyone in the world
is a homophobe,
83
00:02:53,748 --> 00:02:54,982
- as much as you love that.
- Malcolm.
84
00:02:54,983 --> 00:02:56,285
I know we're in Austin,
85
00:02:56,286 --> 00:02:57,487
but you forget
we are also in Texas.
86
00:02:57,488 --> 00:02:59,458
Yeah, we are at a gay bar
in Texas
87
00:02:59,459 --> 00:03:01,929
and a gay bar parking lot
filled with gay people's cars
88
00:03:01,930 --> 00:03:04,400
and you-- I know you think
you're the only gay man
89
00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:06,171
- in this universe, but--
- I feel like I hear
90
00:03:06,172 --> 00:03:08,108
that you're about to start
talking about Berlin again.
91
00:03:08,109 --> 00:03:09,344
- Am I right?
- I actually wasn't.
92
00:03:09,345 --> 00:03:10,947
But let's fucking
go there, babe.
93
00:03:10,948 --> 00:03:13,318
Because in Berlin, your life
is your work is your life
94
00:03:13,319 --> 00:03:16,659
- and you can actually be
yourself in any environment.
- Right. Your life is your work.
95
00:03:16,660 --> 00:03:19,064
- Don't-don't--
- That perspective
is what got you fired.
96
00:03:19,065 --> 00:03:20,099
I resigned.
97
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:22,236
Like a U.S. president.
98
00:03:22,237 --> 00:03:23,874
[sighs]
99
00:03:25,611 --> 00:03:27,447
This could be fun, actually.
100
00:03:27,448 --> 00:03:29,819
Ew. You're attracted
to the most, like,
101
00:03:29,820 --> 00:03:31,322
basic bodybuilder bodies.
102
00:03:31,323 --> 00:03:32,424
It's so embarrassing.
103
00:03:32,425 --> 00:03:33,660
You can just say you're jealous.
104
00:03:33,661 --> 00:03:35,663
I'm g--
I'm not jealous of him.
105
00:03:35,664 --> 00:03:37,668
Uh, it's been a while since I've
been around just gay people.
106
00:03:37,669 --> 00:03:39,237
This'll be good.
I'm doing something
107
00:03:39,238 --> 00:03:40,574
that's not work for once.
108
00:03:40,575 --> 00:03:43,312
He's 35. You don't need
to check it. 35.
109
00:03:43,313 --> 00:03:44,347
I'm younger.
110
00:03:44,348 --> 00:03:45,984
Check mine.
111
00:03:45,985 --> 00:03:47,486
[indistinct chatter]
112
00:03:47,487 --> 00:03:49,424
[faculty]
Surprise!
113
00:03:49,425 --> 00:03:51,563
- Oh, my God.
- Happy birthday, Ev.
114
00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:54,134
- Remember us?
- Happy birthday.
115
00:03:54,135 --> 00:03:56,205
[groaning, panting on TV]
116
00:03:57,240 --> 00:03:59,913
- Oh, my God. [weak chuckle]
- [man] You like that?
117
00:04:04,856 --> 00:04:06,525
This is insane, okay?
You cannot bring people
118
00:04:06,526 --> 00:04:08,897
like the people I work with
to a place like this.
119
00:04:08,898 --> 00:04:11,201
- They're gonna
freak the fuck out.
- [Malcolm] God.
120
00:04:11,202 --> 00:04:12,704
Oh, my God.
Daddy, chill. It's fine.
121
00:04:12,705 --> 00:04:14,675
- They deserve to freak out.
- They don't need
122
00:04:14,676 --> 00:04:16,879
- to be freaked out.
Moretti is here?
- Yeah.
123
00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:18,950
You brought Grant Moretti
to this bar?
124
00:04:18,951 --> 00:04:21,288
- How are you?
- I-I have to just do--
125
00:04:21,289 --> 00:04:23,827
- Is this your idea
of, like, a fun surprise?
- Yes.
126
00:04:23,828 --> 00:04:26,398
Yeah. That's why I did it.
I got to say, you're acting,
127
00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:27,901
like, a little not grateful.
128
00:04:27,902 --> 00:04:29,505
Just smile. Smile.
Have fun, have fun.
129
00:04:29,506 --> 00:04:31,307
Evan, Evan, Evan. Malcolm.
130
00:04:31,308 --> 00:04:32,644
- Hi.
- Hello. I just need
131
00:04:32,645 --> 00:04:33,913
to disclose quickly
that since there are
132
00:04:33,914 --> 00:04:35,551
more than
three faculty members here,
133
00:04:35,552 --> 00:04:37,353
this is technically
a school event.
134
00:04:37,354 --> 00:04:39,457
So I just--
Just act accordingly.
135
00:04:39,458 --> 00:04:41,261
And happy birthday!
136
00:04:41,262 --> 00:04:42,330
Happy birthday.
137
00:04:42,331 --> 00:04:43,633
Are-are you okay?
138
00:04:43,634 --> 00:04:45,202
Of course. Of course.
I'm open-minded.
139
00:04:45,203 --> 00:04:46,305
I'm open-minded.
140
00:04:46,306 --> 00:04:47,574
I'm a little uncomfortable,
141
00:04:47,575 --> 00:04:48,810
but I'm working through it.
Hello.
142
00:04:48,811 --> 00:04:50,313
Excuse me.
Don't touch him. Goodbye.
143
00:04:50,314 --> 00:04:51,916
- Later.
- Thank you, sir. Thank you.
144
00:04:51,917 --> 00:04:53,385
He's not interested.
145
00:04:53,386 --> 00:04:55,489
You know, there's fisting porn
on three of the televisions.
146
00:04:55,490 --> 00:04:58,195
- Oh, God.
- I think all the TVs are playing
the same thing, though.
147
00:04:58,196 --> 00:05:00,433
No, no, no, no, no. They
all seem to be different ones.
148
00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:01,636
There's a really, you know,
149
00:05:01,637 --> 00:05:03,338
traditional,
missionary-style on one.
150
00:05:03,339 --> 00:05:05,476
Of course, it's between two men
who are about 40 years old.
151
00:05:05,477 --> 00:05:07,013
Why?
Why am I talking about this?
152
00:05:07,014 --> 00:05:10,186
Grant, it's very sweet
that you came, but just--
153
00:05:10,187 --> 00:05:12,757
- You don't need
to stay here, okay?
- No, no, no, no, no.
154
00:05:12,758 --> 00:05:15,631
Stay. Come on. I'm gonna do
a little performance later.
155
00:05:15,632 --> 00:05:18,869
- Might turn you on.
- [chuckles] I remember why it
was good you resigned, Malcolm.
156
00:05:18,870 --> 00:05:20,640
- Mwah. See? Thank you.
I resigned.
- Mm.
157
00:05:20,641 --> 00:05:22,176
Please, just stay
for one more hour.
158
00:05:22,177 --> 00:05:24,748
All right. I'll--
Maybe a drink, then, and, uh,
159
00:05:24,749 --> 00:05:26,151
hopefully some wings as well.
160
00:05:26,152 --> 00:05:27,888
I don't think they have wings,
but there is
161
00:05:27,889 --> 00:05:30,492
a cum-themed bundt cake
that, uh,
162
00:05:30,493 --> 00:05:32,363
looks pretty good to me.
163
00:05:32,364 --> 00:05:34,702
Maybe just a drink, then.
164
00:05:35,572 --> 00:05:37,374
He's gonna get roofied.
165
00:05:37,375 --> 00:05:38,777
Because of you.
166
00:05:38,778 --> 00:05:39,645
Oh, my God.
167
00:05:39,646 --> 00:05:41,247
They're not that bad for you.
168
00:05:41,248 --> 00:05:43,285
♪♪ I'm the one you want ♪
169
00:05:43,286 --> 00:05:46,024
♪♪ Baby, come get it ♪
170
00:05:46,025 --> 00:05:47,661
♪♪ Feeling in my soul,
we can take this... ♪
171
00:05:47,662 --> 00:05:49,632
- Chuck. It's me, dude.
- Uh...
172
00:05:49,633 --> 00:05:51,234
Markie Hillridge, man.
173
00:05:51,235 --> 00:05:53,272
- We played football
together in high school.
- Oh, my--
174
00:05:53,273 --> 00:05:55,777
- Exactly. Yeah, dude.
- Markie? What the fuck, dude?
175
00:05:55,778 --> 00:05:57,480
- How the fuck are you?
- [laughs] Holy shit.
176
00:05:57,481 --> 00:05:59,083
- Aw, it's been forever.
- I know.
177
00:05:59,084 --> 00:06:00,386
What are you doing here?
178
00:06:00,387 --> 00:06:01,622
I'm just here
at this birthday party.
179
00:06:01,623 --> 00:06:02,858
Is that why you're here?
You got a party?
180
00:06:02,859 --> 00:06:05,129
No, we're just--
we're just hanging.
181
00:06:05,130 --> 00:06:06,766
Wait.
182
00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:09,204
You ended up marrying
Kathy Durham, didn't you?
183
00:06:09,205 --> 00:06:10,272
- Briefly, yeah.
- Oh.
184
00:06:10,273 --> 00:06:11,809
What a dime piece, man.
185
00:06:11,810 --> 00:06:13,913
- We're divorced. Yeah.
- What?
186
00:06:13,914 --> 00:06:15,850
- Can I get her number? I'm
kidding. No. That sucks, man.
- [laughs]
187
00:06:15,851 --> 00:06:18,355
I mean, you guys were,
like, joined at the hip
188
00:06:18,356 --> 00:06:19,625
from junior high
to graduation and shit.
189
00:06:19,626 --> 00:06:21,830
Y'all were perfect.
What happened?
190
00:06:23,568 --> 00:06:25,003
Markie, I'm gay.
191
00:06:27,509 --> 00:06:29,310
[chuckles] What?
192
00:06:29,311 --> 00:06:31,248
- I sleep with men.
- Okay.
193
00:06:31,249 --> 00:06:32,551
But-- Oh, sure.
194
00:06:32,552 --> 00:06:33,786
But you weren't gay
in high school.
195
00:06:33,787 --> 00:06:36,257
I was. Uh, yeah.
I was in the closet.
196
00:06:36,258 --> 00:06:37,794
Huh.
197
00:06:37,795 --> 00:06:40,968
So we beat Westlake
with a gay quarterback.
198
00:06:40,969 --> 00:06:43,071
- [laughs] Yeah, we did.
- That's what you're saying.
199
00:06:43,072 --> 00:06:45,342
What, like, 300 yards that game
or some shit.
200
00:06:45,343 --> 00:06:47,514
- At least. Was a good time.
- I wish you'd have come out
the moment we won.
201
00:06:47,515 --> 00:06:48,816
I came out in the shower after.
202
00:06:48,817 --> 00:06:50,353
[laughing]
203
00:06:50,354 --> 00:06:52,423
[laughs]
This outfit is incredible.
204
00:06:52,424 --> 00:06:53,793
Oh, thanks. Yeah.
205
00:06:53,794 --> 00:06:55,262
Malcolm gave me this stuff.
206
00:06:55,263 --> 00:06:56,698
It's so hot.
207
00:06:56,699 --> 00:06:57,801
Nick knows he doesn't
have to be here, right?
208
00:06:57,802 --> 00:06:59,037
No.
209
00:06:59,038 --> 00:07:00,272
That is what I want
to talk to you about.
210
00:07:00,273 --> 00:07:01,341
We broke up.
211
00:07:01,342 --> 00:07:03,278
- What? When?
- I know.
212
00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:04,682
Like-like, just, like-- Oh.
213
00:07:04,683 --> 00:07:06,451
Okay, thank you.
I'm gonna take, uh, this one.
214
00:07:06,452 --> 00:07:08,088
Mm-hmm. Mm.
215
00:07:08,089 --> 00:07:09,224
Mm, mm-hmm, mm.
216
00:07:09,225 --> 00:07:10,560
A few hours ago.
217
00:07:10,561 --> 00:07:11,962
I just, like,
hit a breaking point.
218
00:07:11,963 --> 00:07:13,833
- With the pool stuff?
- Yeah, with the pool.
219
00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:15,570
And then, like,
in hindsight, that pool,
220
00:07:15,571 --> 00:07:17,073
like, him digging his own pool
221
00:07:17,074 --> 00:07:19,578
is just a way for him
to pretend to be busy
222
00:07:19,579 --> 00:07:21,815
instead of looking for a job.
223
00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:23,385
- Yeah, we all knew that.
- I didn't want
224
00:07:23,386 --> 00:07:25,423
to say anything. I didn't want
you to worry about me.
225
00:07:25,424 --> 00:07:26,659
I-I knew it.
226
00:07:26,660 --> 00:07:28,896
It was painfully obvious.
To everyone.
227
00:07:28,897 --> 00:07:30,232
[chuckles]
Sure. Right.
228
00:07:30,233 --> 00:07:31,467
Well, now you know the truth.
229
00:07:31,468 --> 00:07:33,873
- Gwen.
- Yes, baby?
230
00:07:33,874 --> 00:07:35,811
You really don't have
to be here.
231
00:07:35,812 --> 00:07:37,213
What? No.
232
00:07:37,214 --> 00:07:39,184
Are you kidding? I'm--
It's your birthday.
233
00:07:39,185 --> 00:07:41,555
And I am definitely gonna find
a new man tonight.
234
00:07:41,556 --> 00:07:43,125
Mama is loose.
235
00:07:43,126 --> 00:07:44,928
- You're on the loose.
- Oh, my God, I'm on the loose.
236
00:07:44,929 --> 00:07:46,331
[laughing]
237
00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:47,801
Wait, do you want a drink?
I'm gonna get another drink.
238
00:07:47,802 --> 00:07:49,337
How many shots have you had?
239
00:07:49,338 --> 00:07:50,607
I'm gonna get laid.
240
00:07:50,608 --> 00:07:52,243
[laughs]
No. Maybe.
241
00:07:52,244 --> 00:07:53,513
Okay.
242
00:07:53,514 --> 00:07:55,048
Yo, Ev. You know
your friend Daniel?
243
00:07:55,049 --> 00:07:56,451
Who?
244
00:07:56,452 --> 00:07:57,721
Daniel.
Your friend.
245
00:07:57,722 --> 00:07:58,890
That guy over there.
246
00:07:58,891 --> 00:08:00,292
[Evan]
That's not my friend.
247
00:08:00,293 --> 00:08:02,865
That's, like,
a random waiter I met once.
248
00:08:02,866 --> 00:08:04,701
He was telling me about poppers.
249
00:08:04,702 --> 00:08:06,204
Okay, I wasn't gonna
come out tonight,
250
00:08:06,205 --> 00:08:08,341
but then I thought,
"The community. I need it."
251
00:08:08,342 --> 00:08:12,216
- [laughs]
- Wait, so can you finish
explaining what poppers are?
252
00:08:12,217 --> 00:08:14,955
Remember the videos I showed you
of guys bottoming?
253
00:08:14,956 --> 00:08:16,491
People use poppers for that.
254
00:08:16,492 --> 00:08:17,661
[Rick]
Oh.
255
00:08:17,662 --> 00:08:19,363
- [chuckles] Yo.
- Oh, my God.
256
00:08:19,364 --> 00:08:23,105
- The whole gang's
officially back together again.
- Yeah.
257
00:08:23,106 --> 00:08:24,373
Who are you?
258
00:08:24,374 --> 00:08:25,844
Come on, hon.
259
00:08:25,845 --> 00:08:27,581
Guys, I'm down to try poppers.
260
00:08:27,582 --> 00:08:28,683
[chuckles]
I-I got you.
261
00:08:28,684 --> 00:08:30,018
I got you, boo.
262
00:08:30,019 --> 00:08:30,987
Here-Here's mine.
263
00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:31,789
All right, boys.
264
00:08:31,790 --> 00:08:33,191
I got the poppers.
265
00:08:33,192 --> 00:08:34,995
- [men] Poppers!
- I just had a crazy idea.
266
00:08:34,996 --> 00:08:37,868
I've been trying to get
a community together of artists
267
00:08:37,869 --> 00:08:40,907
and people who dance
and sex workers.
268
00:08:40,908 --> 00:08:42,577
If you guys are in,
I will leave my place.
269
00:08:42,578 --> 00:08:44,915
I have a little bit
of settlement money
270
00:08:44,916 --> 00:08:47,721
from when I sued
California Pizza Kitchen.
271
00:08:48,423 --> 00:08:49,725
We have to go.
272
00:08:49,726 --> 00:08:51,061
Good luck, babe.
273
00:08:56,138 --> 00:08:57,708
- [indistinct chatter]
- Thank you.
274
00:08:58,443 --> 00:09:00,079
- Hey.
- Hey.
275
00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,149
Kind of surprised
to see you here.
276
00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:03,686
I feel like you've been
sort of avoiding me
277
00:09:03,687 --> 00:09:05,089
since the homecoming debacle.
278
00:09:05,090 --> 00:09:06,993
Yeah, I've been
fully avoiding you.
279
00:09:06,994 --> 00:09:08,428
- [chuckles]
- But Malcolm called
280
00:09:08,429 --> 00:09:10,299
and, um...
281
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:11,669
it's your birthday.
282
00:09:12,572 --> 00:09:13,707
I enjoyed it.
283
00:09:13,708 --> 00:09:14,875
Before I freaked out.
284
00:09:14,876 --> 00:09:17,179
Our awkward kiss thing.
285
00:09:17,180 --> 00:09:18,983
Yeah, right?
Before the freak-out?
286
00:09:18,984 --> 00:09:20,554
- Yeah.
- Oh, it was great. Yeah.
287
00:09:20,555 --> 00:09:21,889
- What are you guys
talking about?
- Oh, my God.
288
00:09:21,890 --> 00:09:24,060
- Hi. Me? [laughs]
- Hi.
289
00:09:24,061 --> 00:09:25,596
- How are you?
- How are you?
290
00:09:25,597 --> 00:09:27,233
- I'm good.
- How's the, um...
291
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:29,270
- What is it that you do again?
- [chuckles]
292
00:09:29,271 --> 00:09:31,742
Uh, thank you so much
for asking. I'm a dancer.
293
00:09:31,743 --> 00:09:33,546
- Mm.
- Uh, yeah.
But right now I'm working
294
00:09:33,547 --> 00:09:36,853
as a software engineer for
a very innovative tech start-up.
295
00:09:36,854 --> 00:09:38,155
What is the start-up?
296
00:09:38,156 --> 00:09:41,360
We provide tents
for unhoused people.
297
00:09:41,361 --> 00:09:42,830
- Oh.
- Um, through an app.
298
00:09:42,831 --> 00:09:44,367
Unhoused people
actually can't access an app,
299
00:09:44,368 --> 00:09:45,703
'cause they don't have phones.
300
00:09:45,704 --> 00:09:47,072
They're not called "cell-less."
301
00:09:47,073 --> 00:09:48,943
They're called "homeless."
They have phones.
302
00:09:48,944 --> 00:09:50,312
And why do you need the app?
303
00:09:50,313 --> 00:09:52,015
Why can't you just
give people the tents?
304
00:09:52,016 --> 00:09:53,986
So many people
keep asking me that.
305
00:09:53,987 --> 00:09:56,024
But, you know, we're partnering
with North Face,
306
00:09:56,025 --> 00:09:57,728
- which is really cool.
- Whoa.
307
00:09:57,729 --> 00:09:58,930
[dance music playing]
308
00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:00,934
[Rick]
Oh. Look at those guys.
309
00:10:01,970 --> 00:10:03,071
Precious.
310
00:10:03,072 --> 00:10:05,677
♪ ♪
311
00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:08,650
No, you can get it with someone.
I swear to God.
312
00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:09,919
You really c-- Oh.
313
00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:11,354
- [squeals]
- Hey, you slut.
314
00:10:11,355 --> 00:10:12,858
How are you?
315
00:10:12,859 --> 00:10:16,131
There is not a single
straight guy in the house.
316
00:10:16,967 --> 00:10:18,702
- That's crazy. Hug?
- Hug.
317
00:10:18,703 --> 00:10:20,305
- I love you.
- I love you.
318
00:10:20,306 --> 00:10:22,711
Ah, there's the pot of gold
at the end of the rainbow.
319
00:10:22,712 --> 00:10:24,615
- Markie. I love you, too.
- Hey.
320
00:10:24,616 --> 00:10:26,250
- Hey. Yeah.
- Aw.
321
00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:29,190
- Cool.
- You're such a positive force
in my life,
322
00:10:29,191 --> 00:10:31,896
and I am just so lucky
to know you.
323
00:10:31,897 --> 00:10:33,900
You're so great.
Do I ever tell you that?
324
00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:35,168
- [mouthing]
- [Markie] Wow.
325
00:10:35,169 --> 00:10:36,972
I say that about you
all the time.
326
00:10:36,973 --> 00:10:39,176
I feel the same way. I've always
wanted to say this to you.
327
00:10:39,177 --> 00:10:41,649
- I--
- Oh, my God. I'm gonna see
about the karaoke situation.
328
00:10:41,650 --> 00:10:44,755
- Hold on.
- [Evan] But I don't think
they have karaoke here.
329
00:10:44,756 --> 00:10:47,528
- No, they let you
if you're persistent.
- [Gwen squeals]
330
00:10:47,529 --> 00:10:49,063
- Gwen is so drunk.
- Oh, my God.
331
00:10:49,064 --> 00:10:51,802
More porn on the TVs here.
332
00:10:51,803 --> 00:10:53,773
[chuckles]
That's better.
333
00:10:53,774 --> 00:10:55,175
You're welcome, by the way.
334
00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:56,311
For Harry.
335
00:10:56,312 --> 00:10:57,614
What do you mean?
336
00:10:57,615 --> 00:10:58,750
I brokered peace
between you two.
337
00:10:58,751 --> 00:11:00,185
Singlehandedly, by the way.
338
00:11:00,186 --> 00:11:01,822
- You didn't broker anything.
- [urinating]
339
00:11:01,823 --> 00:11:03,593
He's just a guy
I had an awkward kiss with.
340
00:11:03,594 --> 00:11:05,195
Okay.
Well, now he's here,
341
00:11:05,196 --> 00:11:07,400
and obviously he wants
to "S" and "F" you, so...
342
00:11:07,401 --> 00:11:10,338
- Malcolm, it doesn't matter,
because nothing can happen.
- I know.
343
00:11:10,339 --> 00:11:11,608
You care about your job.
344
00:11:11,609 --> 00:11:12,877
But you do not need to be,
345
00:11:12,878 --> 00:11:14,981
like, a cop in your own life.
346
00:11:14,982 --> 00:11:16,919
That stupid rule
doesn't mean you can't
347
00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:18,121
hook up with coworkers.
348
00:11:18,122 --> 00:11:19,724
It means you can't get caught
349
00:11:19,725 --> 00:11:21,127
hooking up with coworkers.
350
00:11:21,128 --> 00:11:22,731
- [water running]
- You-you-you don't understand
351
00:11:22,732 --> 00:11:25,135
something so fundamental
about being a teacher.
352
00:11:25,136 --> 00:11:26,638
My work
353
00:11:26,639 --> 00:11:28,141
- and my personal life
- Oh, my God.
354
00:11:28,142 --> 00:11:30,713
- are deeply separate things.
- Please stop talking
355
00:11:30,714 --> 00:11:31,982
about teaching.
I'm begging you.
356
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:34,387
It's so boring.
It's so boring.
357
00:11:34,388 --> 00:11:35,856
I honestly don't care.
358
00:11:35,857 --> 00:11:37,159
If you don't want to hook up
with Harry, don't.
359
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:38,696
But, like, him and I
do have a vibe.
360
00:11:38,697 --> 00:11:41,134
So if you don't fuck him,
I-I do have to.
361
00:11:41,836 --> 00:11:43,204
'Kay?
362
00:11:43,205 --> 00:11:44,273
Oh.
363
00:11:44,274 --> 00:11:46,411
- Hey, Harry. Did you see?
- Hey. Hey, guys.
364
00:11:46,412 --> 00:11:48,682
- Harry walked into the bathroom.
- [chuckles]
Good to see you again.
365
00:11:48,683 --> 00:11:51,020
- Hey.
- Evan, didn't you have to--
You were telling me
366
00:11:51,021 --> 00:11:53,358
how much you had to go
to the bathroom.
367
00:11:53,359 --> 00:11:54,393
[scoffs]
368
00:11:54,394 --> 00:11:55,697
Pee-style, you said.
369
00:11:55,698 --> 00:11:57,266
Not poop.
370
00:11:57,267 --> 00:11:59,436
- Bye, guys.
- [door opens]
371
00:11:59,437 --> 00:12:01,307
- [door closes]
- Sorry, he's always trying
372
00:12:01,308 --> 00:12:03,245
- to make me uncomfortable.
- [urinating]
373
00:12:03,246 --> 00:12:04,480
[laughs softly]
374
00:12:04,481 --> 00:12:07,120
I'm uncomfortable
so much of my life, honestly.
375
00:12:08,456 --> 00:12:10,694
- [sighs]
- [water running]
376
00:12:10,695 --> 00:12:13,031
This thing does not get hot.
377
00:12:13,032 --> 00:12:15,903
Well, everything else around
here is working perfectly.
378
00:12:15,904 --> 00:12:17,373
[laughs]
I know.
379
00:12:20,514 --> 00:12:22,449
[exhales]
380
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:25,524
So, uh...
[chuckles]
381
00:12:27,461 --> 00:12:29,532
What should we do?
382
00:12:32,137 --> 00:12:33,740
[chuckles]
What do you mean?
383
00:12:33,741 --> 00:12:37,380
I kind of dig a crazy girl.
384
00:12:39,519 --> 00:12:43,258
When we did this at school,
it didn't end very well.
385
00:12:43,994 --> 00:12:46,331
That's true.
386
00:12:48,035 --> 00:12:52,611
But we are not
at school right now.
387
00:12:53,345 --> 00:12:55,616
Hello. Am I allowed
to pee in here?
388
00:12:55,617 --> 00:12:57,554
- Yeah, of course you can pee.
It's a, it's a bathroom.
- No, I-I just heard
389
00:12:57,555 --> 00:13:00,458
that bathrooms are
high-activity areas, you know?
390
00:13:00,459 --> 00:13:03,566
[stammers] Oh. Okay.
I'm so sorry, gentlemen.
391
00:13:04,535 --> 00:13:07,140
Oh. Whoa. Nope? Good.
392
00:13:10,413 --> 00:13:11,650
I'm gonna...
393
00:13:12,384 --> 00:13:13,853
[laughs]
Guess I'll see you in there.
394
00:13:13,854 --> 00:13:15,355
- [door creaks]
- Bye.
395
00:13:15,356 --> 00:13:17,326
I'm telling you guys, seriously,
modern-day root beer
396
00:13:17,327 --> 00:13:19,029
tastes nothing
like O.G. root beer.
397
00:13:19,030 --> 00:13:21,902
- That can't be true.
- It is true. Look it up.
398
00:13:21,903 --> 00:13:23,271
Hey, one sec. Evan.
399
00:13:23,272 --> 00:13:24,774
Hey, man, this place
is fucking awesome, dude.
400
00:13:24,775 --> 00:13:26,144
- [chuckles]
- These guys are great.
401
00:13:26,145 --> 00:13:27,981
They're hanging
on my every word, man.
402
00:13:27,982 --> 00:13:29,918
It's like they're on
Team Markie big-time.
403
00:13:29,919 --> 00:13:31,788
Yeah, so, basically, these guys
404
00:13:31,789 --> 00:13:33,559
- want to have sex with you.
- With me?
405
00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:34,961
- Yeah.
- Why?
406
00:13:34,962 --> 00:13:37,132
You're kind of a classic bear.
407
00:13:37,133 --> 00:13:38,802
You think more of these guys...
like, does everybody here
408
00:13:38,803 --> 00:13:40,740
- want to fuck me?
- A lot of people do.
409
00:13:40,741 --> 00:13:42,409
- Do you want to fuck me?
- No, I'm good.
410
00:13:42,410 --> 00:13:44,146
- Okay.
- Is it making you uncomfortable?
411
00:13:44,147 --> 00:13:45,583
- You want me to do
something about it?
- No, no.
412
00:13:45,584 --> 00:13:47,086
No, not at all, actually.
It's very flattering.
413
00:13:47,087 --> 00:13:48,288
I'm-a hang on to this
for a little bit.
414
00:13:48,289 --> 00:13:50,325
Makes you think,
though, you know?
415
00:13:50,326 --> 00:13:51,995
Like, imagine me as a gay dude.
416
00:13:51,996 --> 00:13:53,599
I'd have to bang
all these dudes.
417
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,235
And probably all those dudes.
418
00:13:55,236 --> 00:13:56,905
It would suck to suck that much,
if you know what I'm saying.
419
00:13:56,906 --> 00:13:58,909
No, but if you were gay,
you would like it,
420
00:13:58,910 --> 00:14:01,583
so it wouldn't feel like work.
421
00:14:02,518 --> 00:14:04,621
Nah, I don't think I'd like it.
Nah. Sorry.
422
00:14:04,622 --> 00:14:06,858
Even if I was gay as hell,
even if I was gayer than you,
423
00:14:06,859 --> 00:14:08,194
I don't think I'd like it.
424
00:14:08,195 --> 00:14:10,499
Guys, I'm on the root beer wiki.
It's true.
425
00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:12,402
- Wow.
- [Markie] I'll catch up
with you later.
426
00:14:12,403 --> 00:14:13,471
Are you okay, Rick?
427
00:14:13,472 --> 00:14:15,543
You look like you
maybe are not okay.
428
00:14:15,544 --> 00:14:17,246
- What's going on?
- Just doing my best
429
00:14:17,247 --> 00:14:20,251
- at keeping Austin weird.
- [both laugh]
430
00:14:20,252 --> 00:14:23,693
Dude, poppers. These things
are gonna be the next big thing.
431
00:14:23,694 --> 00:14:26,932
I'm gonna sell these things
at a 200% markup.
432
00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:29,571
Yeah. How much of this
did you do?
433
00:14:29,572 --> 00:14:31,374
- The... a lot.
- Yeah.
434
00:14:31,375 --> 00:14:33,579
Oh, can you text me,
so I remember:
435
00:14:33,580 --> 00:14:35,817
"Poppers profit
straight community."
436
00:14:35,818 --> 00:14:38,020
Yeah, I'll text you in a second.
I'm gonna take these with me.
437
00:14:38,021 --> 00:14:39,524
- Okay? You hold steady here.
- All right, buddy.
438
00:14:39,525 --> 00:14:42,129
Hope the money
doesn't change me.
439
00:14:42,130 --> 00:14:44,768
- I'm gonna sing a song, okay?
- Nope. Hey, hey, hey.
440
00:14:44,769 --> 00:14:47,540
- [feedback squeals]
- Hey. How are you?
- Hey. Hi. How are you?
441
00:14:47,541 --> 00:14:49,644
- [Malcolm] Haven't seen you
in a bit.
- Great.
442
00:14:49,645 --> 00:14:52,382
I'm gonna sing a ka...
a song for you,
443
00:14:52,383 --> 00:14:54,386
and it's gonna be a cappella.
444
00:14:54,387 --> 00:14:56,224
Okay, kill the music, please.
Thank you.
445
00:14:56,225 --> 00:14:57,995
- [music stops]
- [cheering, applause]
446
00:14:59,131 --> 00:15:02,804
♪♪ It's Gay Town City ♪
447
00:15:02,805 --> 00:15:06,177
♪♪ Ah, it's Gay Town City ♪
448
00:15:06,178 --> 00:15:08,014
♪♪ Everybody loves gays ♪
449
00:15:08,015 --> 00:15:10,218
♪♪ Everybody loves girls ♪
450
00:15:10,219 --> 00:15:12,924
♪♪ But gays don't love girls. ♪
451
00:15:12,925 --> 00:15:14,594
- Oh, shit,
I'm about to Shazam this one.
- Oh, wait, it's okay,
452
00:15:14,595 --> 00:15:17,466
do you know how h-hot
I am considered by men?
453
00:15:17,467 --> 00:15:20,673
And not a single one of you
has even started
454
00:15:20,674 --> 00:15:22,243
to look at my cleavage.
455
00:15:22,244 --> 00:15:25,181
- [blows raspberry]
- [laughter]
- And that is also
456
00:15:25,182 --> 00:15:27,152
awful for me.
[chuckles]
457
00:15:27,153 --> 00:15:29,858
♪♪ But I'll still sing ♪
458
00:15:29,859 --> 00:15:31,595
♪♪ For my gays... ♪
459
00:15:31,596 --> 00:15:33,732
- No.
- Work, bitch.
460
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:35,335
- That was great.
Give it up for you.
- Hold on, wait.
461
00:15:35,336 --> 00:15:37,840
- No, that's... [stammers]
- [crowd booing]
462
00:15:37,841 --> 00:15:39,310
Keep the hag.
463
00:15:39,311 --> 00:15:40,478
[others chanting]
Keep the hag.
464
00:15:40,479 --> 00:15:41,749
- Keep the hag.
- Hey, be nice.
465
00:15:41,750 --> 00:15:43,017
Do not call her "hag."
466
00:15:43,018 --> 00:15:43,886
- She's my friend.
- Malcolm, let's stop
467
00:15:43,887 --> 00:15:45,189
with the misogyny.
468
00:15:45,190 --> 00:15:46,725
A white woman with red hair?
469
00:15:46,726 --> 00:15:48,495
Do you know how hard she had it?
470
00:15:48,496 --> 00:15:50,800
- Time to go. Time to go.
Goodbye. Goodbye.
- I love you, baby.
471
00:15:50,801 --> 00:15:52,737
- Okay.
- Give it up for Gwen.
472
00:15:52,738 --> 00:15:54,741
[cheering, applause]
473
00:15:54,742 --> 00:15:56,444
Somebody gave me ketamine.
474
00:15:56,445 --> 00:15:59,150
- I don't know what that is.
- [laughs]
475
00:15:59,151 --> 00:16:00,953
We're here tonight
to celebrate a man.
476
00:16:00,954 --> 00:16:03,458
A myth, some would say.
477
00:16:03,459 --> 00:16:07,099
- Maybe a legend. Evan Marquez.
- [cheering]
478
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,804
Our Latinx queen.
479
00:16:09,805 --> 00:16:11,541
[applause]
480
00:16:11,542 --> 00:16:14,347
- Evan's my hero.
- You know, people
will tell you in this life,
481
00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:16,384
they'll say,
"You can't, you can't be gay."
482
00:16:16,385 --> 00:16:19,423
- Nobody says that.
- They say that. They say that.
483
00:16:19,424 --> 00:16:21,193
- Okay.
- The point is,
484
00:16:21,194 --> 00:16:23,398
- we're here to celebrate you.
- [man] Mm-hmm.
485
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:25,469
- All of you. [tongue clicks]
- [crowd] Aw...
486
00:16:25,470 --> 00:16:27,541
I'm gonna celebrate Evan
right now
487
00:16:27,542 --> 00:16:28,909
with all of me.
488
00:16:28,910 --> 00:16:30,112
[crowd oohing]
489
00:16:30,113 --> 00:16:31,180
- Hit it.
- ["Fade into You" playing]
490
00:16:31,181 --> 00:16:32,917
- [all oohing]
- Uh.
491
00:16:32,918 --> 00:16:35,623
Yeah, it's getting sad
and sexual here.
492
00:16:35,624 --> 00:16:37,794
Whoo!
Gay pride.
493
00:16:37,795 --> 00:16:39,130
You know what's coming?
494
00:16:40,199 --> 00:16:43,706
Something really hot.
495
00:16:46,178 --> 00:16:49,016
♪♪ I want to hold the hand ♪
496
00:16:49,017 --> 00:16:50,587
♪♪ Inside y... ♪
Shit.
497
00:16:50,588 --> 00:16:52,122
It was supposed to be wh...
a whipped cream reveal,
498
00:16:52,123 --> 00:16:54,126
but it got smushed
in the jacket,
499
00:16:54,127 --> 00:16:55,362
but it looked good before.
500
00:16:55,363 --> 00:16:57,734
♪♪ I want to hold the hand ♪
501
00:16:57,735 --> 00:17:00,004
♪♪ That's true ♪
502
00:17:00,005 --> 00:17:01,875
Still good, though, right?
503
00:17:01,876 --> 00:17:03,913
I'm not going up there.
504
00:17:03,914 --> 00:17:07,419
♪♪ I look to you and I see ♪
505
00:17:07,420 --> 00:17:09,223
- [both] ♪♪ Nothing ♪
- Come on.
506
00:17:09,224 --> 00:17:11,795
- Do it yourself.
- No, you can come up with me.
507
00:17:11,796 --> 00:17:13,264
- [Evan] No, come on.
- Get up there, Evan.
508
00:17:13,265 --> 00:17:14,568
[Malcolm]
Come on.
509
00:17:14,569 --> 00:17:15,669
Okay.
510
00:17:15,670 --> 00:17:17,674
♪♪ In shadows ♪
511
00:17:17,675 --> 00:17:20,513
Loser. Loser!
512
00:17:20,514 --> 00:17:22,149
[laughs]
513
00:17:22,150 --> 00:17:24,086
♪♪ Some kind of night ♪
514
00:17:24,087 --> 00:17:26,658
♪♪ Into your darkness ♪
515
00:17:26,659 --> 00:17:27,994
Harry. Harry.
516
00:17:27,995 --> 00:17:29,665
Come up with me.
This is another teacher.
517
00:17:29,666 --> 00:17:31,902
Harry.
♪♪ I want to... ♪
518
00:17:31,903 --> 00:17:34,607
[vocalizing]
519
00:17:34,608 --> 00:17:36,477
We-We've been rehearsing this
for weeks.
520
00:17:36,478 --> 00:17:39,684
Weeks now.
You know this one, right?
521
00:17:39,685 --> 00:17:41,453
You cool with this?
522
00:17:41,454 --> 00:17:44,059
Both your guys up there
getting steamy?
523
00:17:44,060 --> 00:17:45,395
Neither of them are "my guys."
524
00:17:45,396 --> 00:17:47,266
They're my friends. It's fine.
525
00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:48,802
If I've learned nothing else
in your world,
526
00:17:48,803 --> 00:17:51,073
it's that there's no such thing
as "just friends."
527
00:17:51,074 --> 00:17:53,478
- What does that mean?
- You know what I mean.
Come on, man.
528
00:17:53,479 --> 00:17:55,516
I see, I see the way
you look at Harry.
529
00:17:55,517 --> 00:17:58,254
I see the way he looks at you.
You guys got chemistry.
530
00:17:58,255 --> 00:17:59,992
It's fine.
I'm not a jealous guy.
531
00:17:59,993 --> 00:18:01,327
They can do what they want.
532
00:18:01,328 --> 00:18:02,764
Look, dude,
when you look at him,
533
00:18:02,765 --> 00:18:04,701
it reminds me
of how I look at Gwen.
534
00:18:04,702 --> 00:18:06,403
And vice versa.
535
00:18:06,404 --> 00:18:08,274
- What?
- Come on.
536
00:18:08,275 --> 00:18:09,878
You don't have to be naive
537
00:18:09,879 --> 00:18:11,314
or pretend like you don't see
that there's definitely
538
00:18:11,315 --> 00:18:12,784
something brewing
between her and I.
539
00:18:12,785 --> 00:18:14,186
With you and Gwen?
540
00:18:14,187 --> 00:18:15,556
She said it by the bathroom.
541
00:18:15,557 --> 00:18:17,059
"I love you, Markie."
What was all that?
542
00:18:17,060 --> 00:18:18,762
- Markie.
- What?
543
00:18:18,763 --> 00:18:21,134
I j... look, I ju... I suffer
in silence 'cause I don't want
544
00:18:21,135 --> 00:18:22,837
to be a home-wrecker.
545
00:18:22,838 --> 00:18:24,206
I...
546
00:18:24,207 --> 00:18:27,212
I'm sorry, this is
such new information.
547
00:18:27,213 --> 00:18:28,549
I mean, you wouldn't be
a home-wrecker.
548
00:18:28,550 --> 00:18:31,020
She-she broke up
with Nick tonight.
549
00:18:31,021 --> 00:18:32,055
Who? They what?
550
00:18:32,056 --> 00:18:33,358
Gwen and Nick broke up.
551
00:18:33,359 --> 00:18:34,927
Oh, my God, dude, tonigh...
[gasps]
552
00:18:34,928 --> 00:18:37,066
It's a full moon, brother.
Tonight's our night.
553
00:18:37,067 --> 00:18:41,174
It's the night you and I go
after the ones we love.
554
00:18:43,145 --> 00:18:48,689
[both]
♪♪ Fade into you ♪
555
00:18:48,690 --> 00:18:50,827
[crowd cheering]
556
00:18:51,796 --> 00:18:56,437
♪♪ Strange we never knew. ♪
557
00:18:56,438 --> 00:18:58,174
Get up there, Evan.
558
00:18:58,175 --> 00:18:59,544
Get up there and plant your flag
559
00:18:59,545 --> 00:19:01,582
in front of God
and all these gay dudes.
560
00:19:01,583 --> 00:19:03,451
[voice fading] Get up there
and mark your territory...
561
00:19:03,452 --> 00:19:05,623
♪♪ These are the times
that I think about ♪
562
00:19:05,624 --> 00:19:07,158
["Nirvana" by Elliana playing]
563
00:19:07,159 --> 00:19:09,163
♪♪ Red lights and the feeling ♪
564
00:19:09,164 --> 00:19:13,471
♪♪ That I needed you ♪
565
00:19:13,472 --> 00:19:16,979
♪♪ Oh, you got me
right in nirvana ♪
566
00:19:16,980 --> 00:19:18,715
♪♪ So fast ♪
567
00:19:18,716 --> 00:19:21,454
♪♪ You're the best part
of a sad song ♪
568
00:19:21,455 --> 00:19:24,327
♪♪ You got me all out of breath ♪
569
00:19:24,328 --> 00:19:27,867
- ♪♪ Too fast, and I miss you
when I'm going home ♪
- Yes. Yes. Yes.
570
00:19:27,868 --> 00:19:29,737
♪♪ And I've been running
in circles... ♪
571
00:19:29,738 --> 00:19:31,708
Oh, so you're, like,
in love with me now?
572
00:19:31,709 --> 00:19:34,581
- Yeah. I think that's
a possibility, yeah.
- Okay, great.
573
00:19:34,582 --> 00:19:38,487
♪♪ Feel the end
if I'm not out of nirvana. ♪
574
00:19:38,488 --> 00:19:44,801
♪♪ Fade into you ♪
575
00:19:44,802 --> 00:19:47,574
- Evan.
- ♪♪ It's strange you ♪
576
00:19:47,575 --> 00:19:49,644
- ♪♪ Never knew ♪
- I meant the other guy, dude.
577
00:19:49,645 --> 00:19:51,280
Come on.
578
00:19:51,281 --> 00:19:52,650
♪♪ You gotta fade ♪
579
00:19:52,651 --> 00:19:56,559
- Doofus.
- ♪♪ Into your darkness ♪
580
00:19:57,327 --> 00:19:58,896
♪♪ Oh, yeah. ♪
581
00:19:58,897 --> 00:20:01,367
Don't lay down,
that's when the spins start.
582
00:20:05,543 --> 00:20:07,881
[Employee] I'll be right with you.
One moment, please.
583
00:20:07,882 --> 00:20:09,851
Okay. Rude.
584
00:20:09,852 --> 00:20:11,621
Evan, I'm proud of you.
585
00:20:11,622 --> 00:20:13,559
- You knew Malcolm was
no longer faculty...
- [sputters]
586
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,696
...so, good for you.
You kissed the right guy.
587
00:20:15,697 --> 00:20:17,767
That's not why
I kissed him, Grant.
588
00:20:17,768 --> 00:20:21,474
I'm not gonna live my life
by those rules anymore.
589
00:20:21,475 --> 00:20:22,977
Should've been Harry. Seriously.
590
00:20:22,978 --> 00:20:25,883
I said it to you, man.
Chemistry is off the charts.
591
00:20:25,884 --> 00:20:28,087
Should've kissed
both of them thangs.
592
00:20:28,088 --> 00:20:30,391
Yeah, no, Harry's great,
593
00:20:30,392 --> 00:20:31,929
but, you know,
594
00:20:31,930 --> 00:20:33,665
Malcolm is... Malcolm
595
00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:36,337
and he has a special place
in my heart.
596
00:20:36,338 --> 00:20:38,542
The heart wants
what it wants, you know.
597
00:20:38,543 --> 00:20:40,746
I miss the gay bar.
598
00:20:40,747 --> 00:20:44,286
- [scoffs]
- You might just miss
the poppers.
599
00:20:44,287 --> 00:20:45,656
I miss the poppers.
600
00:20:45,657 --> 00:20:48,227
- Wait, where is Malcolm?
- [Evan] That waiter
601
00:20:48,228 --> 00:20:50,098
Daniel invited him to an orgy.
602
00:20:50,099 --> 00:20:51,601
Unbelievable.
603
00:20:51,602 --> 00:20:54,473
Well, whatever.
I accept him for who he is.
604
00:20:54,474 --> 00:20:56,979
You got to let people be
who they are.
605
00:20:57,748 --> 00:20:59,450
- Whoa.
- And that's the only
relationship advice
606
00:20:59,451 --> 00:21:01,320
- worth a damn.
- Yes.
607
00:21:01,321 --> 00:21:04,828
That is actually, like, so true.
608
00:21:04,829 --> 00:21:06,397
Gwen, your voice was
amazing tonight.
609
00:21:06,398 --> 00:21:08,669
You were like a...
you were a songbird.
610
00:21:08,670 --> 00:21:10,974
A true songbird.
611
00:21:12,109 --> 00:21:14,581
I didn't sing at the bar, did I?
612
00:21:14,582 --> 00:21:17,720
["Kissing in Swimming Pools"
by Holly Humberstone playing]
613
00:21:17,721 --> 00:21:21,194
[chuckles]
That is damn good.
614
00:21:21,195 --> 00:21:25,101
I haven't had one of these
in probably, uh, 20 years.
615
00:21:25,102 --> 00:21:26,638
My wife forbids it.
616
00:21:26,639 --> 00:21:29,644
Oh-ho-ho, bad boy.
[chuckles]
617
00:21:29,645 --> 00:21:32,517
Just tonight.
It's a special night.
618
00:21:32,518 --> 00:21:34,487
Why is it special?
619
00:21:35,456 --> 00:21:36,891
Just feels special.
620
00:21:36,892 --> 00:21:38,595
Aw.
621
00:21:38,596 --> 00:21:40,833
And it's your birthday.
622
00:21:42,370 --> 00:21:43,371
Hey.
623
00:21:43,372 --> 00:21:44,740
[Rick]
Oh-ho.
624
00:21:44,741 --> 00:21:46,845
- [Malcolm] Hi, teachers.
- Look at this funky guy.
625
00:21:46,846 --> 00:21:49,149
- I thought you were at the orgy.
- I went.
626
00:21:49,150 --> 00:21:50,886
It was good.
627
00:21:50,887 --> 00:21:53,324
That waiter's so fucking
annoying, but he gives a...
628
00:21:53,325 --> 00:21:55,094
almost academic blow job.
629
00:21:55,095 --> 00:21:56,665
Apartment or warehouse?
630
00:21:56,666 --> 00:21:58,367
Um, Home Depot stockroom.
631
00:21:58,368 --> 00:21:59,905
- Mmm.
- [chuckles]
632
00:21:59,906 --> 00:22:01,273
Stocking up on caulk.
633
00:22:01,274 --> 00:22:03,511
Oh-ho-ho,
look at these two lovebirds.
634
00:22:03,512 --> 00:22:07,653
We had a really nice long talk,
635
00:22:07,654 --> 00:22:10,225
and we're back together.
636
00:22:10,226 --> 00:22:12,664
- [Malcolm] Aw, that's amazing.
- [Gwen] And you know why?
637
00:22:12,665 --> 00:22:16,939
It's because, Markie, you said
something so awesome in the car.
638
00:22:16,940 --> 00:22:19,911
You said, "You got to let
people be who they are."
639
00:22:19,912 --> 00:22:22,516
- Aw.
- Oh. That's cute.
- [Gwen] Yeah.
640
00:22:22,517 --> 00:22:25,455
Thanks, Markie,
for what you said.
641
00:22:26,959 --> 00:22:29,330
[Nick]
All right, just gonna announce
something real quick.
642
00:22:29,331 --> 00:22:31,768
This pool, guys, is almost done.
643
00:22:31,769 --> 00:22:33,605
I mean, it's almost ready.
644
00:22:33,606 --> 00:22:36,644
But the water in it looks
like dirty sink water.
645
00:22:36,645 --> 00:22:38,314
Well, you shouldn't go in.
The filter has
646
00:22:38,315 --> 00:22:40,452
- to actually be
up and running before--
- Exactly.
647
00:22:40,453 --> 00:22:42,456
- So it's not ready,
is what you're saying.
- [Nick] It's not ready.
648
00:22:42,457 --> 00:22:43,859
- But show 'em the jets.
- Okay, okay.
649
00:22:43,860 --> 00:22:45,428
- I would love to see the jets.
- Yeah.
650
00:22:45,429 --> 00:22:46,798
Let's see the jets.
651
00:22:46,799 --> 00:22:48,935
- Got it on Bluetooth here.
- Bluetooth?
652
00:22:48,936 --> 00:22:52,041
- Watch this shit.
- [Nick] Three, two,
653
00:22:52,042 --> 00:22:53,410
one.
654
00:22:53,411 --> 00:22:55,381
[creaking]
655
00:22:55,382 --> 00:22:56,519
- Oh, my God!
- Oh!
656
00:22:57,186 --> 00:22:59,089
- It's the main pipe!
- No, no, no, no.
Not on the burger.
657
00:22:59,090 --> 00:23:01,494
- [Gwen]
Have to turn off the valve.
- [laughing]
658
00:23:02,531 --> 00:23:04,567
This is kind of...
659
00:23:04,568 --> 00:23:06,403
Kind of boyfy-boyfy?
660
00:23:06,404 --> 00:23:07,707
A little bit.
661
00:23:07,708 --> 00:23:12,684
♪♪ I could repair you so gently ♪
662
00:23:13,687 --> 00:23:15,154
♪♪ So ♪
663
00:23:15,155 --> 00:23:19,864
♪♪ Can we kiss
in your swimming pool? ♪
664
00:23:19,865 --> 00:23:22,268
♪♪ In this bathing suit ♪
665
00:23:22,269 --> 00:23:24,674
♪♪ I would die for you ♪
666
00:23:24,675 --> 00:23:29,216
♪♪ Maybe I don't have
to leave so soon ♪
667
00:23:29,217 --> 00:23:33,892
♪♪ You look heavenly
in this shade of blue ♪
668
00:23:33,893 --> 00:23:37,166
♪♪ We don't have
to complicate it ♪
669
00:23:38,302 --> 00:23:42,108
♪♪ I just want to be
alone with you ♪
670
00:23:42,109 --> 00:23:44,681
♪♪ I ♪
671
00:23:45,415 --> 00:23:48,221
♪♪ Just want to be alone
with you. ♪
672
00:23:48,222 --> 00:23:50,560
[vocalizing]