1 00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:06,607 - * MTV * 2 00:00:06,674 --> 00:00:08,776 [both chuckling] 3 00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,779 [rock music] 4 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:18,986 * * 5 00:00:24,292 --> 00:00:28,962 - Welcome, fellow human beings, to my meditation class, mm-kay, 6 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,199 whether you're a meditation expert 7 00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:33,434 or just here as a school-mandated 8 00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:35,369 alternative to detention. 9 00:00:35,436 --> 00:00:37,037 - This sucks. 10 00:00:37,105 --> 00:00:38,172 - Yeah, really. 11 00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:39,740 Can we just go to detention? 12 00:00:39,807 --> 00:00:45,179 - Now, everyone, concentrate on your mantra, mm-kay? 13 00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:46,780 Om. 14 00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:48,782 students: Om. 15 00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:50,384 - Uh. 16 00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:53,154 - Um. 17 00:00:53,221 --> 00:00:56,257 - Very good, Beavis and Butt-Head, very good. 18 00:00:56,324 --> 00:01:01,529 Now, try to empty your minds of all thought. 19 00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:03,864 - Uh. - Uh, what? 20 00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:07,868 - It sounds easy, but some say only the Buddha himself 21 00:01:07,935 --> 00:01:10,538 was able to completely empty his mind 22 00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:12,440 and achieve enlightenment. 23 00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:15,209 Now, let's begin while I set the mood 24 00:01:15,276 --> 00:01:17,578 with these Tibetan singing bowls I bought 25 00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:20,047 at Cost Plus World Market. 26 00:01:20,114 --> 00:01:23,617 [bowl ringing] 27 00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:27,521 - Okay, clear your mind. 28 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,990 Clear your mind. 29 00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:32,092 - Don't think. 30 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,262 Wait, where did I park? 31 00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:38,232 - Uh. 32 00:01:41,801 --> 00:01:43,571 - Huh. Hmm. 33 00:01:45,273 --> 00:01:47,608 - Adam just doesn't get me. 34 00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:50,043 - No thoughts. 35 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,945 Wait, that is a thought. 36 00:01:52,012 --> 00:01:55,115 [ringing continues] 37 00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:02,456 [ethereal music] 38 00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:04,225 - Huh? 39 00:02:06,926 --> 00:02:09,330 - Uh, whoa. 40 00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:12,333 I think we, like, left our bodies or something. 41 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,134 - Oh. Cool. 42 00:02:14,202 --> 00:02:15,969 My body sucked. 43 00:02:16,036 --> 00:02:17,838 - Yeah, mine too. 44 00:02:17,905 --> 00:02:20,474 It never scored. [chuckles] 45 00:02:21,609 --> 00:02:25,078 - Um, where are we going? [chuckles] 46 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,948 - Uh, I don't care. 47 00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:31,885 - Lil Nas X, I sentence you to five years 48 00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:33,454 in Montero State Prison. 49 00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:34,922 [gavel bangs] 50 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,457 [dramatic music] 51 00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:38,692 - Daytrip took it to ten. 52 00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:40,561 * Baby back, ay * 53 00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:42,062 * Couple racks, ay * [Beavis] Whoa. 54 00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:43,997 You think he smuggled those Grammys in 55 00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:46,367 inside his butt? [snickers] 56 00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:47,935 - Uh, yeah. 57 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,704 That's why he's cleaning 'em off. 58 00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:54,141 Everything in prison comes in through your butt. 59 00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:56,143 See that guy right there? 60 00:02:56,210 --> 00:02:58,178 He's about to pull a Little League trophy 61 00:02:58,246 --> 00:03:00,914 out of his butt. [chuckles] 62 00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:02,483 - Oh, yeah, yeah. 63 00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:05,819 Yeah, nowadays everyone gets a trophy, you know? 64 00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:06,920 [snickers] 65 00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:08,822 - Yeah. 66 00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:10,658 Good for your self-esteem. 67 00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:13,060 Bad for your butt. [chuckles] 68 00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:15,896 [both laugh] 69 00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:17,865 - * I told you long ago * 70 00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:21,969 [Beavis] Whoa, do those guys have schlongs? 71 00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:24,338 - Uh, I think so. 72 00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:26,874 They're just using, like, special effects 73 00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:28,609 to "pixtelate" them out. 74 00:03:28,676 --> 00:03:30,478 [chuckles] 75 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,045 - Oh, that was nice of them, yeah. 76 00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:33,947 [chuckles] 77 00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:35,516 Whoa. 78 00:03:35,583 --> 00:03:36,917 Boy, I wouldn't want to be, like, grinding around 79 00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:38,752 on the floor like that, you know, 'cause... 80 00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:40,288 you know how people always pee and poop 81 00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:42,656 in the shower, you know? 82 00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:46,192 - Uh...no. 83 00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:48,662 I mean, like, I pee in the shower, 84 00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:50,130 but I don't poop. 85 00:03:50,197 --> 00:03:52,400 - What, you don't? 86 00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:53,434 Yeah, you know what I'm talking about, Butt-Head. 87 00:03:53,501 --> 00:03:55,002 Everyone does it, you know? 88 00:03:55,067 --> 00:03:56,504 Just like, you poop in the shower, 89 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,138 and then you mash it down with your foot 90 00:03:58,204 --> 00:03:59,507 into that drain thing, 91 00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,041 and then you go wash your foot off 92 00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:03,176 in the toilet, you know. 93 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:06,814 - Uh, no, I don't know, Beavis. 94 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,216 - Boy, you're weird, Butt-Head. 95 00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:11,018 I think everybody does that. I don't know. 96 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,720 I mean, that's what I do. 97 00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:14,288 [chuckles] 98 00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:19,091 - Uh, Beavis, I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear any of this. 99 00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:22,563 Now, let's go back to watching these naked dudes dance. 100 00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:25,098 [laughs] 101 00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:28,302 - Is he, like, working at T-Mobile now? 102 00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:31,004 - Uh, I think you have to work at T-Mobile 103 00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:33,173 when you're in prison. 104 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,275 - Oh. Oh, that sucks. 105 00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:36,510 I thought you just get to, like, 106 00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:38,078 sit around and watch TV all the time. 107 00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:40,681 You have to work at T-Mobile? 108 00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:43,617 That's, like, inhumane or something. 109 00:04:43,683 --> 00:04:44,685 [chuckles] 110 00:04:44,752 --> 00:04:46,320 * * 111 00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:49,222 - This video is, like, really groundbreaking 112 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,759 'cause, like, Jack Harlow's not in it. 113 00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:52,960 [laughs] 114 00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:54,294 Uh. 115 00:04:54,362 --> 00:04:56,263 Oh, never mind. 116 00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:57,765 - Oh, yeah, yeah. 117 00:04:57,831 --> 00:04:59,032 There he is. 118 00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:00,901 [groans] 119 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,970 - Someone should do something about Jack Harlow 120 00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:05,773 being in every video. 121 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:07,941 Uh. Oh. 122 00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:10,310 I guess they did. [laughs] 123 00:05:10,378 --> 00:05:12,179 - Yeah, yeah. 124 00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:15,383 [both chuckling] 125 00:05:17,385 --> 00:05:20,287 [ethereal music] 126 00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:23,924 * * 127 00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:26,727 - Uh, where are we? 128 00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:30,263 - I think it's, like, Arizona or something. 129 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,032 - Greetings, travelers. 130 00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:34,101 And welcome to enlightenment. 131 00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,303 I am the Buddha. 132 00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:39,440 - Uh, okay. 133 00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:42,042 - Let me introduce you to the others who are here. 134 00:05:42,109 --> 00:05:43,210 Ganesh. 135 00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:45,813 - So few humans make it here. 136 00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:47,047 Welcome. 137 00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:48,181 - Jesus. 138 00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:49,883 - Bless you, my children. 139 00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:50,884 - Zeus. 140 00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:52,352 - Kudos. 141 00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:54,221 - And, uh, Bill Gates. 142 00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:55,489 - Hi. 143 00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:59,126 I've been meditating for five years. 144 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,495 - He also donated a lot of money 145 00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:03,431 to some Buddhist nonprofits. 146 00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:05,699 - This place is neat, huh? 147 00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:07,735 - A lot of money. 148 00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:12,139 So now you are here at the end of your lifelong journey. 149 00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:13,574 Enlightenment, 150 00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:16,176 the place of serenity, true wisdom, 151 00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:18,345 and freedom from desire. 152 00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:20,748 - So we have to be here instead of detention? 153 00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:23,216 - Yeah, that sucks. [chuckles] 154 00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:26,454 Is there anything cool here at all? 155 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:29,590 - Would you like to hear the meaning of life? 156 00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:31,725 - Uh, no. 157 00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:34,194 - Yeah. Sounds boring. Yeah. 158 00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:36,797 - But it's the meaning of life. 159 00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:40,033 - You do realize that's the reason people come here, 160 00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:41,735 to learn the meaning of life. 161 00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:44,137 [laughter] 162 00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:47,207 - That cloud looks like a butt. 163 00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:50,043 - Yeah, it's a butt! In the sky! 164 00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:52,880 [laughter] 165 00:06:57,317 --> 00:06:58,652 - It's a butt. 166 00:06:58,719 --> 00:07:00,488 [laughter] 167 00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:01,755 - Yeah. 168 00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:04,658 - What are we going to do about them? 169 00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:06,093 - Do not worry. 170 00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:08,996 None may remain here in the state of enlightenment 171 00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:12,399 unless they can keep their serenity and focus. 172 00:07:12,466 --> 00:07:16,269 - Well, so when they lose their serenity and focus-- 173 00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:19,172 - They must leave, never to return. 174 00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:21,341 [laughter] 175 00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:22,610 [bowl ringing] 176 00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:24,411 [laughter] 177 00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:26,514 - Hey. 178 00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:30,484 Um, in Arizona, do you have, like, food? 179 00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:32,219 - Food does not exist here. 180 00:07:32,284 --> 00:07:34,955 Here we are free from all desire. 181 00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:37,858 - Uh, that sucks. 182 00:07:37,925 --> 00:07:39,426 - Yeah, really. 183 00:07:39,493 --> 00:07:40,828 - Yes. 184 00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:43,931 It's enough to make you lose your serenity and focus, 185 00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:45,198 is it not? 186 00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:48,335 - Although technically, you can manifest 187 00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:51,438 anything you want here with the power of your will, so... 188 00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:52,973 - Uh. 189 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,174 [shimmering tone] 190 00:07:54,241 --> 00:07:56,043 [laughter] 191 00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:58,445 Cool. - Yeah, these are fantastic. 192 00:08:00,714 --> 00:08:03,316 - Those bowls were given to me by the first Dalai Lama 193 00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:05,318 in the year 1392. 194 00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:06,587 - Oh, yeah. 195 00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:09,422 Yeah, Mr. Van Driessen has the same ones. 196 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,725 - His are from Cost Plus World Market. 197 00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:13,393 - Yup. 198 00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:15,863 Same ones. Yep. 199 00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:16,864 [bowl crashes] 200 00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:18,298 - Whoops. 201 00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:20,367 - Someone should clean that up. 202 00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:21,835 - Yeah, really. 203 00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:24,805 Hey, naked guy, can you go ahead and clean this up? 204 00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:27,374 You're already wearing a towel. 205 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,242 - Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you can just use that. 206 00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:31,144 Yeah. [bowl crashes] 207 00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:32,980 Yeah, wipe that up, too, while you're at it. 208 00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:34,447 Come on, let's go, come on. 209 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:37,250 - Why, you disrespectful little-- 210 00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:39,720 - Zeus, concentrate on your breathing. 211 00:08:39,787 --> 00:08:41,087 - Don't tell me what to do! 212 00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:43,423 - Whoa, take it easy. 213 00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:44,692 Keep your towel on. 214 00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:46,093 - Yeah, really. 215 00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:47,895 No one wants to see your wiener. 216 00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:51,231 - I should shove a thunderbolt up your ass! 217 00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:53,366 [screams] 218 00:08:54,802 --> 00:08:58,305 - Everybody, please, remember your serenity and focus. 219 00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,708 Don't make the mistake Zeus just made. 220 00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:02,009 - Hey, Beavis, 221 00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:03,644 let's think of a monster truck. 222 00:09:03,711 --> 00:09:07,681 - Yeah, yeah, and tear ass all over the place, yeah. 223 00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:09,617 - You're goddamn right. 224 00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:11,351 - That is enough outta you punks! 225 00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:12,620 You hold them, and I'll hit them. 226 00:09:12,686 --> 00:09:15,555 [Beavis and Butt-Head grunting] 227 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,959 Damn, this feels great! 228 00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:20,393 Whoo! 229 00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:22,696 [both scream] 230 00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:25,899 - That was cool. [laughs] 231 00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:28,568 - My children, we must work through this 232 00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:30,403 in an enlightened manner. 233 00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:31,872 - Um, you've got some nacho cheese 234 00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:34,141 on your dress there, sir. 235 00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:38,679 - This is what you call nacho cheese? 236 00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:39,980 [sniffs] 237 00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:43,316 It smells like a beautiful flower. 238 00:09:44,952 --> 00:09:47,020 This is delicious. 239 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:49,990 I must get me some nachos. 240 00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:52,292 [screams] 241 00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:55,996 - Uh, where'd he go? 242 00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:58,165 [laughs] - Yeah. 243 00:09:58,231 --> 00:10:00,300 - So I guess it's just you and me 244 00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:02,235 for the rest of eternity, huh? 245 00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:04,337 That'll give us plenty of time to talk 246 00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:06,473 about the future of computing. 247 00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:07,875 - [groans] Damn it. 248 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,677 - This guy is pissing me off. 249 00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:11,511 - Yeah, me too, yeah. 250 00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:12,579 Yeah, let's kick his-- 251 00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:14,314 [both scream] 252 00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:18,952 [both scream] 253 00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:22,823 - Whoa! What happened? 254 00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:26,860 - Uh, I think we, like, escaped enlightenment or something. 255 00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:28,395 - Oh, yeah, yeah. 256 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:32,800 Yeah, good, yeah, 'cause that place sucked, yeah. 257 00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:34,702 It was, like, in Arizona. 258 00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:35,769 Yeah. 259 00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:38,071 - Boys, if you keep talking, 260 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:41,709 you'll never advance in meditation, mm-kay? 261 00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:44,011 - Cool. - Yeah. 262 00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:46,513 [both laughing] 263 00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:49,482 [rock music] 264 00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:56,957 [rock music] 265 00:10:57,024 --> 00:11:00,160 * * 266 00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:01,628 - * L-L-look, look, look, look, look, look * 267 00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:03,630 * Pole dancer * - Whoa! 268 00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:05,365 Okay, here we go. Yeah. 269 00:11:05,432 --> 00:11:08,068 - Now we're getting somewhere. 270 00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:10,037 - Yeah, it's like, there's these chicks 271 00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:12,672 with big old butts, and they're dancing on poles, 272 00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:15,442 and there's a spinning beach ball-- 273 00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:18,011 Wait a second. 274 00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:20,380 Damn it. 275 00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:24,551 - Uh. This sucks. 276 00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:26,153 - Maybe if we just, like, you know, 277 00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:30,223 wait a minute or something, it'll start up again, you know? 278 00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:31,624 Gotta be patient. 279 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:34,294 - Sometimes it takes a while. 280 00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:36,229 [slurps] 281 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:39,599 [birds chirping] 282 00:11:39,665 --> 00:11:42,035 [crickets chirping] 283 00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:44,037 [birds chirping, dog barking] 284 00:11:46,974 --> 00:11:49,109 [slurps] 285 00:11:49,176 --> 00:11:50,377 - Um, Butt-Head? 286 00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:53,013 I think it's been, like, a day or something. 287 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,915 I don't think that beach ball is going away. 288 00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:59,987 - Uh, well, Beavis, we're just gonna have to do like the days 289 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:04,357 before TV was invented and find real pole dancers ourselves. 290 00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:05,692 - Oh, boy. 291 00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:08,095 Okay. [laughs] 292 00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:12,099 - Uh, I think there's, like, a strip club around here, 293 00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:15,769 and I think we can get in if we act all, like, mature. 294 00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:18,438 [laughs] "Mature." 295 00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:21,374 [laughs] - Do they have poles? 296 00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:23,310 - It's a strip club, dumbass. 297 00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:25,712 They all have poles and, like, machines 298 00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:28,381 that make it rain and, uh-- 299 00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:29,749 whoa! 300 00:12:29,817 --> 00:12:31,718 Check it out, Beavis. 301 00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:33,420 Polling... 302 00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:34,687 Palace. 303 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,123 Polling Palace. 304 00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:38,691 [chuckles] - Yeah, cool. 305 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,861 This must be it! Yeah. 306 00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:45,465 - Beavis, we're about to get all up in the club. 307 00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:47,634 - Boi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oing! 308 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:49,736 Hmm! 309 00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:52,973 [rock music] 310 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,708 - This live dig might get drowned out by sound. 311 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:58,178 [Beavis] What are they doing? What are those things? 312 00:12:58,245 --> 00:13:01,815 - Uh, those are those things that old people use 313 00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:04,084 at the beach, where they, like, go around 314 00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:06,053 with the headphones and listen for beeps 315 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:09,823 and try to find, like, pirate treasure or something stupid. 316 00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:13,526 [laughs] - Oh, yeah, yeah. 317 00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:15,662 There's usually something wrong with the people 318 00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:17,664 who do that, you know? [laughs] 319 00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:20,433 - There sure is. [chuckles] 320 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:23,336 - What is that, some kind of, like, turd or something? 321 00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:24,704 [laughs] 322 00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:26,606 - Oh, no, no, no! 323 00:13:26,673 --> 00:13:28,475 - Uh. 324 00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:30,643 It's just a dime. 325 00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:31,811 - Oh, really? 326 00:13:31,879 --> 00:13:34,247 How much is that worth? 327 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,616 - Uh, I bet he could sell that thing 328 00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:38,351 for, like, ten cents. 329 00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:39,953 [laughs] 330 00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:41,889 - Boy, they sure are getting excited over ten cents, 331 00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:43,723 you know? 332 00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:45,758 - She's gonna masturbate to it. 333 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:49,829 [laughter] 334 00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:52,799 - All right, I got that Barber by these sycamores, 335 00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:54,267 and Doug came over. 336 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:58,105 - He's like, "Ooh, Doug, another turd." 337 00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:00,773 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hmm, yeah. 338 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,075 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 339 00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:04,912 Look, it's a useless piece of crap. 340 00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:07,247 - What a beautiful design on that buckle. 341 00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:09,649 - What'd he say? It's a buckle? 342 00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:10,984 - Yeah. 343 00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:13,453 Hundreds of years ago before there was YouTube, 344 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,323 people used these things to bore other people. 345 00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:17,490 [laughs] 346 00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:20,860 - Yeah, and it still works. Yeah. 347 00:14:20,928 --> 00:14:22,429 - All right, we brushed off... 348 00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:25,332 - Whoa, look, Doug is fiddling with his schlong, look. 349 00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:26,733 [laughs] 350 00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:28,768 - Yeah, that's Doug's buckle 'cause he just undid 351 00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:31,504 his pants to play with himself. 352 00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:33,440 - All right, I'm on the other side of this tree, 353 00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:34,908 these two sister trees. 354 00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:36,809 - Sister trees? 355 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,745 - Trees can be girls? 356 00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:41,548 I thought they were all dudes, yeah. 357 00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:44,051 You know, because, um--'cause they have a crotch, you know? 358 00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:45,318 - About the same size. 359 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,487 And I think they predate the house. 360 00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:49,489 - The sister trees are dating the house? 361 00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:52,025 - Maybe the house will score with both of them. 362 00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:54,894 [laughs] - Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. 363 00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:57,097 Doug's getting them all worked up. 364 00:14:57,164 --> 00:15:00,500 - He just yelled that he got something cool. 365 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,835 And okay. 366 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,172 - Wait a minute. 367 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,807 The word "cool" means something's good, right? 368 00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:09,309 Like, it's cool? 369 00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:10,810 - Yeah. 370 00:15:10,877 --> 00:15:13,746 There's nothing cool about that. 371 00:15:13,813 --> 00:15:16,249 - I mean, I used to eat my toy Hot Wheels and Tonka Trucks 372 00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:17,617 and poop them out all the time, 373 00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:19,119 but I didn't go show it off, you know, 374 00:15:19,186 --> 00:15:21,421 and, like, make videos and stuff, you know? 375 00:15:21,488 --> 00:15:23,556 [laughter] 376 00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:25,758 Come back when you got half a LEGO pirate ship 377 00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:28,161 floating in the toilet, you know? 378 00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:30,998 Now, that, I showed people. I did do that. Yeah. 379 00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:32,432 - Yeah. [laughs] 380 00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:35,435 The teacher said you ruined third grade. 381 00:15:35,502 --> 00:15:38,371 [laughter] 382 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:39,872 And then he retired. 383 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,009 [laughter] 384 00:15:42,075 --> 00:15:44,111 - Oh, yeah. 385 00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:46,013 - All right, Doug, nice find, 386 00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:47,547 clad quarter, eagle back at least. 387 00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:50,183 - I hate it when people come into Burger World 388 00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:53,753 and they try to pay cash with a bunch of coins. 389 00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:55,322 - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 390 00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:58,290 Yeah, I can't tell one of them from another, yeah. 391 00:15:58,358 --> 00:16:00,093 I just put them in the register 392 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,062 and say, "Thank you very much. 393 00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:03,730 Drive through," yeah. 394 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,833 - I hate when anyone comes into Burger World at all. 395 00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:08,435 - Yeah, yeah, really. 396 00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:09,802 Sometimes I just want to say, 397 00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:11,538 "You know, I don't come to where you work 398 00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:13,740 "and, like, throw a bunch of money around 399 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:16,909 and demand French fries, so don't do it here," yeah. 400 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,445 [laughs] 401 00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:22,415 There sure is a big line. 402 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:25,152 - Everyone likes pole dancers, Beavis, 403 00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:28,855 even these old perverts. 404 00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:31,524 - Yeah, look at all these freaks. 405 00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,360 There oughta be a law, you know what I'm saying? 406 00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:35,262 [laughs] 407 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:38,398 - Good to see you young folks at the polls. 408 00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:39,766 Is this your first time? 409 00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:42,202 - Yeah, yeah, but, um-- but we've been interested 410 00:16:42,269 --> 00:16:44,871 in this stuff for a long time. 411 00:16:44,937 --> 00:16:48,141 - Yeah. We're, like, really into it. 412 00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:49,909 - Well, good for you boys. 413 00:16:49,976 --> 00:16:51,944 I wasn't interested in any of this stuff 414 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,714 until Ronald Reagan. 415 00:16:54,781 --> 00:16:56,049 - Oh, yeah? 416 00:16:56,116 --> 00:16:57,917 Is she a slut? 417 00:16:57,984 --> 00:16:59,686 - Yeah, yeah, I bet Ronald Reagan 418 00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:02,189 has big hooters, yeah. 419 00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:04,223 - I hope she's in there shaking her butt. 420 00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:07,493 - Yeah, shake that ass, Reagan, yeah. 421 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:11,064 Show me what you're working with, yeah. 422 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:13,800 Whoa. [laughs] 423 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:17,637 I guess we have to get past the bouncers or something. 424 00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:19,606 - Name and address, please? 425 00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:22,275 - Uh, who are you? 426 00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:24,777 - I'm Lorraine. I'm a poll worker. 427 00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:26,546 - Whoa. [laughs] 428 00:17:26,613 --> 00:17:28,481 - Oh, it's not here. - I don't know why... 429 00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,283 - Can you excuse me just a second? 430 00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:31,618 - Look again. I've been voting at this... 431 00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:33,153 - Well, she's a little older than I thought, 432 00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:35,122 but I won't complain. 433 00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:36,623 - Yeah, yeah. 434 00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:39,426 Yeah, she must be a really good pole dancer by now. 435 00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:40,960 Sweet Lorraine. 436 00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:43,196 Back that thing up. 437 00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:45,198 - I'm tired of waiting, Beavis. 438 00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:46,933 Let's go get up in the club. 439 00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:49,302 [laughs] 440 00:17:49,369 --> 00:17:51,471 Uh. 441 00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:53,106 Where are the strippers? 442 00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:55,642 I don't see any poles either. 443 00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:57,477 - They gotta be around here somewhere. 444 00:17:57,544 --> 00:17:59,112 [chuckles] 445 00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:02,482 - You just go right behind that curtain there. 446 00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:03,916 - Whoa. 447 00:18:03,983 --> 00:18:07,354 Beavis, looks like we're headed to the champagne room. 448 00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,556 - Ooh, yeah. 449 00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:13,460 I hope we get to see Ronald Reagan shake that ass. 450 00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:15,328 - Shake that ass. 451 00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:16,963 - Yeah. 452 00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:23,336 [laughter] 453 00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:26,239 - The champagne room, yeah. 454 00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:31,911 Um, Butt-Head, um, there's no chicks in here. 455 00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:35,515 - Uh, they gotta be here soon. 456 00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:38,285 - And I don't see a pole either, Butt-Head. 457 00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:41,154 - As long as there's chicks, who cares about the pole? 458 00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:44,123 - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true, yeah. 459 00:18:44,191 --> 00:18:47,294 Yeah, this is gonna be cool. Yeah. 460 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:48,861 Oh, check it out. What's this? 461 00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:53,166 - Whoa, it's like a pole dancer menu. 462 00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:56,436 - So many pole dancers to choose from, look at that. 463 00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:59,339 - Uh, a lot of these are guys. 464 00:18:59,406 --> 00:19:00,740 [chuckles] 465 00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:03,276 Bush. [laughter] 466 00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:05,512 - Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna order that one. 467 00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:07,647 Yeah. Ooh. 468 00:19:07,714 --> 00:19:10,383 Here we go. [chuckles] 469 00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:11,818 So now what? 470 00:19:15,955 --> 00:19:17,557 - Uh. 471 00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:20,260 Go up there and put it in the box. 472 00:19:20,327 --> 00:19:23,095 I'll hold it down here in case the strippers come. 473 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,198 [laughs] 474 00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:32,572 - Just stick my menu in here. Yeah. 475 00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:34,607 - And put some money in there, dumbass. 476 00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,509 Act like you know what you're doing. 477 00:19:36,576 --> 00:19:37,744 - Oh, yeah. 478 00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:42,181 [grunts] Yeah, here we go. 479 00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:43,716 [grunts] 480 00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:45,618 Just go ahead and smooth this out a little. 481 00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:47,487 Make it all nice for the stripper, yeah. 482 00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:49,422 [chuckles] 483 00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:50,957 Let's see what else I got here. 484 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,726 Yeah, that'll seal the deal. Yeah. 485 00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:57,264 [laughs] Big money. 486 00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:59,399 - And now we just wait for our order, 487 00:19:59,466 --> 00:20:01,167 just like Burger World. 488 00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:02,335 - Yeah, yeah. 489 00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:03,503 Thank you. Drive through. 490 00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:05,338 Yeah. 491 00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:08,608 [laughter] 492 00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:10,877 - Um, you've been in there a long time. 493 00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:13,246 Do you need to see a poll worker? 494 00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:14,514 - Yeah, yeah. 495 00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:15,882 Yeah, we've been waiting to see a poll worker 496 00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:17,384 for, like, 20 minutes. 497 00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:21,153 - Yeah, tell her to hurry the hell up already. 498 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:24,557 [laughter] 499 00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:26,326 - Hello, you two. 500 00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:29,696 - Uh, we didn't come here for small talk. 501 00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:33,132 - Time to get down to business. Yeah. 502 00:20:33,199 --> 00:20:36,068 - Did you fill out the ballot slip and put it in the box? 503 00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:37,637 - We sure did. 504 00:20:37,704 --> 00:20:40,139 - Yeah, and now it's your turn. 505 00:20:40,206 --> 00:20:41,574 Come on, now. 506 00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:43,009 - So congratulations. 507 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,811 You successfully voted. 508 00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:47,314 - Um, we what? 509 00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:50,149 - If you filled out your ballot and then put it in that box, 510 00:20:50,216 --> 00:20:51,017 then you voted. 511 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:53,320 - Yeah, for a stripper. 512 00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:56,188 - Look, I didn't think she was a great candidate either, 513 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,591 but she's better than the one we've got. 514 00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:01,461 - Is this 'cause Beavis didn't put in enough money? 515 00:21:01,528 --> 00:21:03,262 - Yeah. Yeah, yeah, here. 516 00:21:03,330 --> 00:21:06,499 I was gonna save it for your G-string, but, um-- 517 00:21:06,566 --> 00:21:08,901 There she goes. [chuckles] 518 00:21:10,903 --> 00:21:13,340 - Well, that strip club sucked. 519 00:21:13,406 --> 00:21:14,374 - Yeah, yeah. 520 00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:15,508 Yeah, I even made it rain 521 00:21:15,575 --> 00:21:17,444 with my last $1.50, 522 00:21:17,510 --> 00:21:19,312 and nothing happened. 523 00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:22,949 [music thumping] 524 00:21:23,015 --> 00:21:24,784 Maybe we can try this place. 525 00:21:24,851 --> 00:21:26,519 - No way, Beavis. 526 00:21:26,586 --> 00:21:28,388 We're not falling for that again. 527 00:21:28,455 --> 00:21:30,857 [laughs] Sorry, dumbasses. 528 00:21:30,923 --> 00:21:33,460 We, like, outsmarted you. 529 00:21:33,526 --> 00:21:34,594 - Yeah, really. 530 00:21:34,661 --> 00:21:36,262 How dumb do we look? 531 00:21:36,329 --> 00:21:38,531 [laughter] 532 00:21:38,598 --> 00:21:42,001 [rock music] 533 00:22:08,795 --> 00:22:10,062 - Chirp.