1
00:00:10,395 --> 00:00:13,097
Are you there, God?
It's me, Beavis.
2
00:00:14,733 --> 00:00:16,801
I know you're busy, like,
killing terminators
3
00:00:16,801 --> 00:00:19,771
and kicking Jesus' ass
and stuff,
4
00:00:19,771 --> 00:00:22,507
but I've been noticing some
changes happening to my body,
5
00:00:22,507 --> 00:00:24,609
and I don't know what to do.
6
00:00:24,609 --> 00:00:27,846
It all started
a few days ago at school.
7
00:00:27,846 --> 00:00:29,348
Mm-kay, class,
8
00:00:29,348 --> 00:00:33,117
today we're talking about
the wonders of puberty.
9
00:00:33,117 --> 00:00:35,987
Puberty is a funny word
10
00:00:35,987 --> 00:00:40,659
for when your body gets serious
about growing and developing.
11
00:00:40,659 --> 00:00:42,627
Whoa.
12
00:00:42,627 --> 00:00:44,763
Check it out.
13
00:00:44,763 --> 00:00:47,432
That cat's got whipped cream
on its mouth.
14
00:00:47,432 --> 00:00:49,468
You should, like,
get us some, Beavis.
15
00:00:49,468 --> 00:00:50,735
Yeah, yeah.
16
00:00:50,735 --> 00:00:52,837
Yeah, whipped cream
kicks ass.
17
00:00:52,837 --> 00:00:55,073
Here, kitty.
Nice kitty.
18
00:00:55,073 --> 00:00:56,107
Hey, it likes me.
19
00:00:59,177 --> 00:01:03,247
So it's important not to
compare yourself to others.
20
00:01:03,382 --> 00:01:06,718
In fact, I myself
did not go through puberty
21
00:01:06,718 --> 00:01:09,220
until I was--
22
00:01:09,220 --> 00:01:12,491
That cat kicked your ass.
Ow!
23
00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:18,029
That's when I first noticed
my body was changing.
24
00:01:18,029 --> 00:01:20,865
Mostly bleeding and stuff.
25
00:01:22,867 --> 00:01:27,539
♪ I love the way ♪
26
00:01:28,473 --> 00:01:31,576
Boy, their mechanic uniforms
are clean.
27
00:01:31,576 --> 00:01:32,911
Yeah, they're usually
all covered
28
00:01:32,911 --> 00:01:34,913
with, like, grease
and oil and stuff.
29
00:01:34,913 --> 00:01:37,882
It's probably just because
they're not fixing any cars,
30
00:01:37,882 --> 00:01:41,285
they're just, like,
doing it with girls.
31
00:01:41,420 --> 00:01:43,422
Here at TT Auto,
32
00:01:43,422 --> 00:01:44,889
we won't fix your car,
33
00:01:44,889 --> 00:01:47,959
but we will have sex
with your women.
34
00:01:47,959 --> 00:01:50,995
That's the TT guarantee. Yeah.
35
00:01:52,764 --> 00:01:54,699
If we don't score
with your women,
36
00:01:54,699 --> 00:01:57,235
your repair is free.
37
00:01:57,235 --> 00:01:58,970
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
38
00:01:58,970 --> 00:02:00,805
Our satisfaction
is guaranteed.
39
00:02:02,641 --> 00:02:06,310
Uh, ma'am, the problem
with your motorcycle here
40
00:02:06,445 --> 00:02:08,146
is there's not enough butt
on it.
41
00:02:08,146 --> 00:02:09,881
Yeah, it seems to be
making a funny noise, like,
42
00:02:09,881 --> 00:02:13,818
Uh, uh, ooh, ah.
43
00:02:13,818 --> 00:02:16,521
Oh, wait.
No, that's just me.
44
00:02:16,521 --> 00:02:17,789
Now, where was I?
45
00:02:17,789 --> 00:02:22,193
Uh, uh, ooh, ah.
46
00:02:22,193 --> 00:02:24,362
He's like,
"Uh, listen, ma'am,
47
00:02:24,463 --> 00:02:27,031
"we're not gonna
get that part in for two weeks,
48
00:02:27,031 --> 00:02:30,469
so maybe, uh,
I could get my part in."
49
00:02:34,673 --> 00:02:36,240
That's really good,
Butt-Head.
50
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,142
Yeah, you know,
you're pretty smooth, you know.
51
00:02:38,142 --> 00:02:41,379
It's, um--yeah, it's weird
that you never score.
52
00:02:45,550 --> 00:02:48,920
I wanna get a job at a place
like this, you know.
53
00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:50,855
If you got a job there,
54
00:02:50,855 --> 00:02:53,157
you'd probably accidentally
repair the girl
55
00:02:53,157 --> 00:02:57,128
and score with the car.
56
00:02:57,128 --> 00:02:59,163
Yeah, you know,
actually, um--
57
00:02:59,163 --> 00:03:01,600
I actually did kinda
score with a car once.
58
00:03:03,101 --> 00:03:04,703
Uhh--
59
00:03:04,703 --> 00:03:07,506
What?
60
00:03:07,506 --> 00:03:09,140
I didn't go all the way,
you know,
61
00:03:09,140 --> 00:03:11,876
but I did get under the hood.
62
00:03:11,876 --> 00:03:12,811
You know what I'm sayin'?
63
00:03:15,514 --> 00:03:16,881
Uhh--
64
00:03:16,881 --> 00:03:19,117
I mean,
the car wasn't running.
65
00:03:19,117 --> 00:03:21,285
I'm not, like, a pervert
or something, you know.
66
00:03:22,787 --> 00:03:25,524
It was, like, consensual,
you know. [chuckles]
67
00:03:25,524 --> 00:03:27,992
It was a '92 Ford Festiva.
68
00:03:27,992 --> 00:03:29,661
Uhh, Beavis,
69
00:03:29,661 --> 00:03:32,764
I don't wanna ever hear about
any of this ever again.
70
00:03:34,566 --> 00:03:36,535
Okay, okay.
71
00:03:36,535 --> 00:03:40,539
But it was a Festiva.
72
00:03:42,907 --> 00:03:46,545
So, um, God, am I normal?
73
00:03:46,545 --> 00:03:48,012
Today in gym class,
74
00:03:48,012 --> 00:03:51,015
I noticed that my body doesn't
look like the other boys'.
75
00:03:51,015 --> 00:03:52,551
I feel like everyone's
looking at me
76
00:03:52,551 --> 00:03:55,353
because my body is, like,
different and stuff.
77
00:03:55,353 --> 00:03:57,155
You know what that feels like?
78
00:03:57,155 --> 00:03:58,690
Ahh! Ah!
79
00:03:58,690 --> 00:04:01,125
It feels like my head hurts
and my skin is hot.
80
00:04:01,125 --> 00:04:02,894
Also, water grosses me out,
81
00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:04,295
and I wanna bite people.
82
00:04:04,295 --> 00:04:05,797
Ahh!
83
00:04:05,797 --> 00:04:08,466
Uhh, Beavis,
84
00:04:08,567 --> 00:04:09,834
what are you doing?
85
00:04:09,834 --> 00:04:11,369
Shut up, Butt-Head!
86
00:04:11,369 --> 00:04:12,704
I'm normal!
87
00:04:12,704 --> 00:04:15,339
Normal! Yeah.
88
00:04:15,339 --> 00:04:17,742
Whoa. Son, you don't look
so good.
89
00:04:17,742 --> 00:04:20,311
No! I'm normal!
90
00:04:20,311 --> 00:04:22,046
Butt-Head, how about
you take Beavis
91
00:04:22,046 --> 00:04:24,415
to the school nurse?
- Uhh--
92
00:04:24,415 --> 00:04:25,750
No.
93
00:04:25,750 --> 00:04:27,852
Everyone leave me alone!
94
00:04:27,852 --> 00:04:29,087
Stop looking at me!
95
00:04:29,087 --> 00:04:31,856
Ah! Ah! Ahh!
96
00:04:34,593 --> 00:04:35,827
Ahh! Ah!
97
00:04:36,595 --> 00:04:39,430
That was cool.
98
00:04:42,801 --> 00:04:44,603
I don't know what's happening
to me, God.
99
00:04:44,603 --> 00:04:47,238
I just wanna be
like everyone else, you know?
100
00:04:48,039 --> 00:04:51,042
I look in the mirror, and
my body looks so different.
101
00:04:51,042 --> 00:04:53,311
I'm still Beavis
on the inside,
102
00:04:53,311 --> 00:04:55,513
but who's that person
on the outside?
103
00:04:55,614 --> 00:04:58,182
And why are his eyes yellow?
104
00:04:58,182 --> 00:05:00,051
And what's that white stuff
on his mouth?
105
00:05:00,051 --> 00:05:01,152
Ahh!
106
00:05:01,152 --> 00:05:03,087
Nobody understands me, God.
107
00:05:03,087 --> 00:05:04,623
Not even Butt-Head.
108
00:05:04,623 --> 00:05:06,658
We're getting reports
109
00:05:06,658 --> 00:05:10,028
of a rabies outbreak
in the local skunk population.
110
00:05:10,028 --> 00:05:11,630
- Ahh!
- Damn it, Beavis,
111
00:05:11,630 --> 00:05:14,799
you're getting your gross drool
on my side of the couch now.
112
00:05:14,799 --> 00:05:17,969
Ahh! Ahh!
113
00:05:17,969 --> 00:05:19,738
Shut up, dumbass. Uh!
114
00:05:19,738 --> 00:05:21,405
Ah! Ah! Ahh!
115
00:05:21,405 --> 00:05:24,776
Uhh! Uhh!
116
00:05:24,776 --> 00:05:28,813
Uhh!
117
00:05:28,813 --> 00:05:31,149
Beavis, I'm just gonna
go ahead
118
00:05:31,149 --> 00:05:32,851
and kick your ass
some other time.
119
00:05:32,851 --> 00:05:34,886
Ahh!
120
00:05:36,721 --> 00:05:39,658
Yeah, you could say I've been
going through changes.
121
00:05:39,658 --> 00:05:41,693
I guess this is
all part of growing up,
122
00:05:41,693 --> 00:05:43,294
right, God?
123
00:05:44,663 --> 00:05:46,898
So, yeah, God,
124
00:05:46,898 --> 00:05:48,100
that's what's going on with me.
125
00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:50,702
Also, I can't see very good,
126
00:05:50,702 --> 00:05:52,470
and my pee is red.
127
00:05:52,470 --> 00:05:53,972
So, um--
128
00:05:53,972 --> 00:05:56,107
What did I wanna
ask you again? Um--
129
00:05:56,107 --> 00:05:58,309
It was, um, uh--
oh, yeah, yeah, um,
130
00:05:58,309 --> 00:06:00,544
can you, like,
make my nads bigger?
131
00:06:00,679 --> 00:06:03,247
Yeah. That would be cool.
132
00:06:03,247 --> 00:06:06,117
Beavis, I am not God.
133
00:06:06,117 --> 00:06:09,287
I am a fever-induced
hallucination.
134
00:06:09,287 --> 00:06:11,355
You have rabies.
135
00:06:11,355 --> 00:06:13,257
Uh-huh. Huh.
136
00:06:13,257 --> 00:06:14,959
Now, that's cool
and everything, God,
137
00:06:14,959 --> 00:06:17,195
but my nads--
yeah, can you make 'em bigger?
138
00:06:17,195 --> 00:06:19,798
Beavis,
your nads are perfect
139
00:06:19,798 --> 00:06:21,866
just the way they are.
140
00:06:21,866 --> 00:06:24,202
And I am not God.
141
00:06:24,202 --> 00:06:25,704
Whoa, really?
142
00:06:25,704 --> 00:06:26,838
Wow, wow.
143
00:06:26,838 --> 00:06:28,472
Thanks, God.
144
00:06:28,472 --> 00:06:30,141
I guess you're right.
145
00:06:30,141 --> 00:06:31,575
My body is pretty cool,
you know,
146
00:06:31,710 --> 00:06:33,611
just the way it is.
147
00:06:33,712 --> 00:06:35,313
I don't know what I was
so worried about, you know.
148
00:06:37,949 --> 00:06:39,250
Yeah, so it turns out
149
00:06:39,250 --> 00:06:41,920
my body is perfect
just the way it is.
150
00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:44,455
From now on,
I'm gonna stop worrying
151
00:06:44,455 --> 00:06:46,290
and just be myself.
152
00:06:48,026 --> 00:06:49,327
Ah! Ahh!
153
00:06:49,327 --> 00:06:51,195
- What the hell?
- Ahh!
154
00:06:51,195 --> 00:06:53,097
- Marcie, get the gun!
- Ahh! Ahh!
155
00:07:20,624 --> 00:07:21,726
Chirp.